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Abe- EA- threw him out, gave him free food, hungry so will schmuck everything he forgot later, should make sign-in sheet for UC303- KGB PWNZ0rZ J00

Akiva- nice to see some officers here, hates us all except Rebecca and Emily, bored in psych cluster, talk about library website, looked through ~kgb, once ran game of assassins for money- $5 to play, win $1/kill, $50 for winning

cpride, you kinda look like styger, give a report now. Luke, you look like Styger. You should give a report now. Hair is long, pretty, you should all have hair like mine, event Friday, come and bring lots of money and lots of friends who have lots of money (enter Styger) Styger: event, probably going to make piles and piles of money, movie night?- mid mini break- can get drunk as hell as your Superbowl party, bees out of pipe cleaners and put them on the fence, cover fence in snow and paint with food coloring, cover in frosting and paint with food coloring, beat on Akiva since he has no classes on Friday, Clue/Kill Dr. Akiva, Akiva thinks Luke should die, (Akiva says we once had a Tom Lehrer sing along night), Lizza- popcorn maker, run laps around the UC, do Emily's homework, write an OS in one night, make play dough

Matt: experimental physics takes forever, still sick, not sleeping- coughing instead, don't have anything in mail, shawn claims he'll send consent forms

Rebecca: What happened in the last two days? Didn't get book, ate chocolate, had office hours, not many people came, has boring reports Wednesdays, Indian food in the mail

Emily: $[censored], Boston got 30 inches of snow, that happened for Matt's MIT interview, called mom- bad decision, mother's gone back through DARE, housing, mother visiting, not happy with campus housing, not happy with living off campus, asking if she really wanted a computer- would she rather have money toward rent next year? Said computer- won't do the thing in the future, threw out her back, recreational hiking in winter in Presidentials, monitor black and says "Mac Mini Bundle"

Lizza- fell asleep, great dream about alien silver worms, mutated with them, saved a few people, Styger demon goddess she had to kill, Abe survived, Luke and lea not in it, everyone else dead, flamethrower, skiing Sunday in Schenley, guy jogging, following pink ribbons, couldn't find group, 8 people drinking beer, drinking club with an exercise problem, people threw beer cans at her, la cucaracha

T-shirt committee- 20 things everywhere around, could switch from [censored], but [censored] already has old screens, decide what to print- Tetris, booth this year, CTFWS, Abe's- actions not endorsed by KGB, Styger will give Lizza sizes, bell curve centered at L instead of XXL, design contest for CTFWS contest, Akiva said general body is dumb, Rebecca is putting that in the minutes, remember to announce contest Monday, whoever's design is chosen gets free shirt

Booth- Gesling Kage, count wall sections, crapload of money for booth, can force people to work for booth, war of Jenkins' ear, rough idea of what he wants to do for roof, waterproofing, have fixed dates for what will be done by when, crack down on people- we have a whip, entire organization can get dequeued for people who don't go to school here

Bylaws- meeting monday at 1730, dancing and singing in the streets

bgilbert- I move that that not be in the minutes. rlambert- I know what doesn't go in the minutes

Luke- Nazis in conversations, touch that kills, goal line in residence- working toward mad scientist degree, be Russian mad scientist and get some SURFs

Lizza is hulaing, Lizza begs to be recognized, would be much obliged if we would all tell her all what kind of fruit we are Akiva- starfruit lea- lemon or pear mkehrt- banana dkaplan is anything flambe Em- probably pear mlowry- something sharp and sour, lime

01.31.05: Abe- not here last week, we were lost in his absence, interviews, hotel wanted to be French, no French maids, eye candy

Akiva- built empire out of hate, morning class canceled, new people: fish can't talk, dead, no name or major, catfish spawn in late may/early June, noodling- if something bites your arm you grab it up, Andrew, CS, alive, Sagar, econ, did laundry

Styger- movie night, DH2210, chalk dying, board covered in calculus, bring DVDs and fight over them

Matt- still sick, sucks, 3 weeks, graphics, went to bed around 5, pointers, experimental evil, OCAML, ML wonderful, submit to Pravda?, erotic German love poetry to Callie, F&F waitress

Rebecca- sold herself, Geico sucks- want medical history, but don't completely suck- want to give money for pain and suffering even though wasn't in pain and dind't suffer

Em- gave her money the other night, should continue doing so, half of us still haven't paid, 131 people at average 3rd bidder price, new record for single person, almost twice as many guys as girls, guys made 875, girls made 1337, guys 46, girls 68 without Styger, 111 with

Lizza- skills in voice projection, big fish, thermos named Samwise, pockets filled with wonderful wonderful things, chopsticks, cool sparkly things, parents love her more than they love all of us, cutting board, Em's birthday, present- purple lamp


Politically Incorrect committee- Iraq has more freedoms than us, what is up with HS students who don't know bill of rights? 3/4 think it's illegal to burn US flag, 1/2 think govt should censor newspapers, abermude says we go 2nd amendment on their ass

one of dlstern's committees- HSers listening to crazy music and should get off his lawn

booth- thanks everyone who sold selves, bought people, thanks Styger 3-12 times as much, wants to talk to people about roof, count wall/floor sections Saturday- meet at Kirr, cantelever

Gratuitous obscenity- alarmed that dlstern not being gratuitously obscene

Committee to get drquuxum to buy more committees: branched out, $290

Good idea/bad idea- supreme court of Canada- masturbation not illegal in your own home

Campus security- international student with conservative parents should not do stupid shit, if you happen to be a member of EMS and EMS gets called for you, you become an example

Bylaws- meeting today after this meeting

Committee to find or build Abe a girlfriend- plotting, plans underway, give Erin support and moneys (Lizza offers Abe her fish)

Pop occultism- patience key to joy, happiness intertwines with outlook on life, sadness foot stuck under heavy object, lookout and alibi, 20 seconds to live

False candy- Lizza's a meanie

Assassins- new game rule changes

Lizza- tshirt committee, two contests- CTFWS, booth, submit designs by 16th, Abe will post about formats and stuff, restrict to 1-2 colors on solid background, free tshirt if we pick your design, my actions shirts, last year's booth, smelly box is the archive and we never open it ever

Assassinate president- diffused bomb in radiator

Old business:

pfennig- Styger, heat death

New business:

Motion to create Some other committee I own- fails

Motion to spend KGB's Canadian currency in Canada, make money off of things we couldn't've used in the first place, send someone to one of Canada's fine stripping establishments, Ed supports Dave's viewing of naked women, let kinky committee have a say- a lot of establishments let women in for free, mumble mumble strippers in Canada, fails by one vote

Committee to deport dlstern to Colombia, should wait until after booth, strip clubs in Colombia US govt will pay if we do it right, launch him with trebuchet, if we give him money for condoms he'll bring us cocaine, give dlstern a hug, $7 to Keith, Ed is chair

Committee to acquire more strippers for KGB, booth chair- paint strippers, wire strippers, Julie says we should just strip, $6 to mghio


Allocation <= $50 for chloroform for strippers, out of order

Movie night, bring DVDs

Gopi Flaherty now a father

rlambert hasn't gotten back attendance sheet

Em- give her money, sign contracts, bring money for groups as much together as possible, make it clear what goes toward which person

Functor now running tetrinet server

Bylaws meeting in 15 minutes

Booth- give money so he can buy things, Saturday 14 at Gesling cage, meet in Kirr


Send tshirt design drawings


bohanlon- hard drive crashed so running from CD, and now CD drive broken, strip club in middle east- woman rolled up sleeves

vkaplan- what hand does a smoker use?

llmiller- go to 36th floor of Cathedral- art

Luke- parliamentary procedure- when you are recognized, it's for one thing, mentioned it in schmucks bc no one cares

gwillen- Canada

monkeys give up juice for porn of other monkey


Abe: people cooking Jess in pot at Em's house, shoelaces sad, probably other stuff, really fucking busy

Akiva- talk by connor's dad, had to leave before pizza, no hw due until weds

styger: movie night, bring popcorn, why do people put their stuff in the office? Em's stuff there, bitterness party, be bitter, no event for week after that, $50 food allocation, chocolate, FUND?, not really necessary, clue/masquerade ball, John Nesky- trenchcoat with smiley face, does something cool when he sits down, [censored], OC amphetamines, get Abe really drunk, he can have sex in the woods, we could get a bus and go somewhere, no longer dishwasher in her garage

Matt: still sick, slept 12 hours, sicker than yesterday, will sit and wait for Abe to recognize him, implementing game of life in graphics for coloring vertices, still sick

Rebecca: Hasn't had caffeine since friday, 8 cups decaf tea/day, used to be 8 cups caf, asks Akiva to give her report, Rebecca wants him to waste 30 seconds, kinda pointless, because we won't remember this happened, hand gestures, Abe, I'm gonna kill you.

Em: $[censored], give her money, deposit checks, when we're off by $[censored], it makes her want to cry, Luke accepted $[censored] from nowhere as part of treasury, mtomczak had no idea where it came from, so much money, see about wasting KGB's money on 18th, Jess getting yarn, brother used to tangle it and throw it with toys down 2nd floor balcony, Styger used to keep moving her brother's toy when he tried to go toward it

Lizza: How long can she talk and get people to interrupt her? Lots of interruptions, orchestra, forgot pocketknife, soup, saw a crocus, does Pravda? have chains and whip and pieces of leather, really happy, strange drug in dorm room?

booth: design things about roof, basic plan for it- wants to find out now if it won't work, dave pounding on table saying "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck", don't need key to open Gesling Kage

much more interesting when Abe isn't fucking tired

Update website? Pravda? People don't want their email addresses there

bgilbert was talking to Wes, KremCube can be made to run linux, want to be able to update without recompiling, maybe can actually have a KremCube this year

Monkeys aren't eating cheese, Akiva wants some too, monkey's throw it, Mars needs women, no porn on Mars, Russian dinner, potlucks don't work, $100 sandwich?, causes physical pain to people watching, person that gets it out of the Wean vending machine, nudie night, cheese tasting, KGB gets bored easily, cheese wrestling, Akiva is hot, could raise minimum KGB body temperature, bonfire, dance thing in Mudge lounge, Peter/Wright/McKenna, lazy Susan with pope head, legos, construction paper, pipe cleaners, finger paint, buy legos from AB?, giant inflatable dinosaur

Tartan send mkehrt email, want representative from each organization to talk to if they have questions, mkehrt or Abe, what happens if we just don't talk to them? They publish more slanders and lies about us, mkehrt is malleable, mkehrt

Gratuitous decadence committee- teapots, velvet, curtains, foie gras, brie, various types of cheese, kittens and puppies, ferrets as coats, baby ferrets as coats, don't like being sewn together while alive, real human hair or hair of a moose, powdered wigs, Abe only gets to wear black from now on, black silk and black leather, bad guys wear black, good guys wear black leather, counting event, gold coins, bludgeons, maybe some crackers because we are being gratuitous, cake, only hot water and indoor plumbing for the rest of our days, no high sea in waterfountain, champagne? Truffle fountain, butlers, maids, segways, passes, no one's abstaining when we're doing gratuitous decadence

Committee to embezzle from KGB- already exists

chess taken down


Body part of the week: officer quorum

Abe- we're shutting up because we love Abe so much. Last night- thing, thought about having an antithing party, woke up, Jewish bakery, potato thing, spinach thing, chocolate thing

Akiva- crossword puzzle, far too much time doing crossword puzzle, good movies, ok movie, goddamn awful movie

Styger (Ed)- Bitterness Party- holiday that invokes such a feeling in humans, celebrate bitterness, chocolate, PH A18 A/B, Boys Don't Cry- makes you want to die

(Enter Meg with Legos)

Matt- started working on Pravda?, not actually, but intended to very strongly, jealous of Abe's handwriting, didn't move heavy things, pizza, didn't figure out how to draw catenary in autocad, got corresponded with, corresponded

Rebecca- bad movie, pancakes, warm, you should be outside, went outside, while passing Pitt food trucks, a random guy gave her a Steelers hat, saw an apartment numbered 41 1/2

Emily (Abe)- dimes and nickels, money, give us money, bleeding, throw some shit at me now you whores, 85.93 sweetheart firework displays, cooked dinner, didn't kill anyone, everyone said it was good, vegetarian and Mike didn't complain, chocolate pudding, superbowl cool, 213, writing worlds

Lizza (drquuxum)- on hike with Brewer, jumping, loves us all, loves Abe more, quuarters, Sacajawea

Gratuitous obscenity committee- Solaris sucks, something went down

Good Idea/ Bad Idea- anally administering alcohol a bad idea

Booth hard, we're gonna go shopping

No pants- Abe- failure

Some committee dlstern owns- tells no pants committee that last night's Superbowl party was a resounding success

Committee to kick Teki in the ass

Abe's bleeding less and less

Old business:

2nd VP not here, with Mym, Ed: they're fornicating

Committee to annex Margaret Morrison, no second

$60 booth

$50 food for bitterness party

$50 chocolate for bitterness party

Keith- godawful committee- Committee to commit committees to CVS including the committee to commit committees to CVS including..., try to amend to committee to fuck him, fails, passes, $2.50 to rlambert, who dissolves it immediately

Election for Byzantine brigadeer Akiva opposed as patriarch of Byzantine church Ed can't be proctor Ed is Spartacus Abe is proctor Ed still thinks he is proctor Akiva- awesome, 6 Matt- more awesome, 7 bohanlon, 3 epr, 3 lea, 12 dlstern, 3 Keith, 5 Drquuxum (I can't read my handwriting) lbrenton, 11 mstephen, 6 Christina, 4 lea wins Ed declares himself winner

Committee to sell Styger on ebay, no

Move to Avignon, Akiva was there this summer, cool, castle we can take over, random French stuff, Is Avignon on spacequest?, Abe still bleeding a little bit

Committee to make Abe make the face that says he's smiling but he's really in pain, Akiva and Laurel, $4.50

Motion to null- no second

Committee to Wang Chung, fails

Committee Akiva just bought- this meeting's awesome

Motion to fail for lack of a second, second, passes, fails for lack of a second


Event- bitterness party, bring bitterness, wallow in it

tshirt contest- wet or dry? Submissions due a week from Wednesday

Assassins- bohanlon assassinated bohanlon and won

make mkehrt a Pravda?


Laurel- something French

Keith- bitter that can't attend bitterness party- metabitter, got math book for birthday

Drquuxum- (Something I can't read that includes the word pocket)


Abe- elves, people making elves, Ash Wednesday, forgot to go to mass, fast, abstinence from meat, Chinese New Year, crazy guy in elevator- got on in basement with him and didn't get off

Akiva- ginseng candy is really gross

Em is talking to her pants, Abe is dead, Styger nominated as Abe, we're sharing this room with too many organizations

Styger- bitterness party, THE FUND is quite happy, we have Legos, could get more, have some already, almost had to sleep in Detroit yesterday

Matt- walked around with Lizza, Caliban, couldn't find any good books, need to sign Gesling Kage contract, knocking down Maggie Mo?, meeting Friday, other organizations aren't as cool as us, they think Matt is president

Rebecca- six people at office hours yesterday, wrote that before I said it, exoskeletons, my feet are really gross, Lizza is so happy she could blow a spit bubble

Em- was going to say bc dlstern here, we have more money, but now dlstern is here, whispers because there are other people here, $[censored], we invited Bill Gates to CTFWS, mrwright bit gwillen's nose, Abe gets bitten a lot, rlambert gives nerve damage when she bites, shawn needs to give her money

Lizza- walked in Schenley, still kinda wet, shirt stretches, feels like it's oozing off her, two days ago hiked about 15 miles- old train rail trail, got lost, Abe walked on trail in Frick and it just stopped, piranhas

KGB Clue/Spend KGB's money/Craft night/[CENSORED] Top Sekrit/ KGB's I Can't Get a Date Orgy

Craft night: someone should know how to do something, chain mail/origami/make things out of wire/knitting, yarn, markers, construction paper, play doh, legos, copper wire, finger paint

KGB Clue- Styger wants people to help

Chocolate Committee- unsweetened baking chocolate, big pot, cocoa, melted chocolate and strawberries, Styger has fondue thing, milk and dark and really really dark candy, chocolate fountain, booze is good in fondue, I wish cheese could be, never mind, chocolate mousse, exam and project tomorrow, test Friday, test Monday, Akiva should be a ballerina, but he's not wasting away, Matt's wasting away

Tshirt committee- Has all the designs, should have numbers for people Friday, black, black, and more black, 3 people here not wearing a black shirt

Booth- tool expedition to home Despot, turning it 90 degrees- part that is narrow wants to be wider, wall sections have mutant different kinds of facing, want something uniform, people threw quarters and gold dollars at Abe's face before he said anything, got 50 cents, pretty kickass, another booth- going to have chickenwire elves, (Lizza trying to greet ASA in random languages)

Thing we gotta sign, otherwise they take away our Gesling Kage, wants account number, key in Kage

Strippers count as decorations, we can get decorations with THE FUND, dlstern can get strippers with tools, donate treasury to save poor animals, no opposable thumbs, except some cats, adopt 7 seals, adopt child in foreign country, state would take it away from us, Styger's friend's cat could hold knives, cats have taken over the world, Abe can't talk- cdinwood's hand over his mouth

Styger's the only nomination to replace Abe, Ed made Styger's answering machine message, Styger accept nomination, no speech, already John Kerry, can be two unelected presidents- one who did become president and one who didn't

Request report from committee to kick Teki in the butt

Bylaws- going to have another meeting, point of bylaws is meet recursively, wank, say something, [censored], shawn got in argument with Ed, monkeys from space killed the bylaws, and then they left

terror, terror, tarot, opal, someone who likes wine, oeno

motion to eat Emily's food and sit here, diff eq took 40 minutes

lea's studio partner didn't know what a pun was

Latex- people use it in all their classes

Wicca, sign language

Matt found book about how computers work, something about encoding letters that predated ASCII

Lizza hates when spam is in all caps