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Officer Reports

Failure with DVD.

Dave: announces he's president, Shawn mocks, Dave mocks back. And so on.

lea: full of architecture, full of selves, propaganda, work. Fake ends report, but has job. Lots of new people in alphabetical order by andrew ID:

akgerber: Alan: ECE : Needs to buy Calculus Early Transcendentals Dan : ECE : Live in Schlag. Elizabeth : MechE or CivE : From Texas. Elise : art : have dreadlocks. Matt Al? - nicknamed Almond : something I didn't type : Really bad euphonium. Matthew Glysson : : have a wart on finger. Another Matt : MechE : Omar : Physics : Likes to scratch arms. Meredith : MechE might switch to CS : Likes to order pie everywhere. Jocelyn : English Lit/PolySci : something about wean? Elaine : math at the moment : is human.

architecture, mumble, end report. Impeaching or something.

csjackso: it's him! Second veep. Quick and boring. Event: Hello Jell-o. Will have people, jell-o, outdoor stuff, ...

lea: Mike : MechE : born on New Year's.

Dom: Creepy movie thing, but with too much base. Pravda? You should all submit to Dom.

edanaher: typing stuff into computer.

em: Dues are awesome! Em has fives! And now pennies! NOT DOLLAR COINS. Also nothing sharp. Dimes are good though. No Canadian currency either. KGB's glorious treasury has this much of your tuition for the next few years. [Dave: no matter how many beads, no Manhattan].

cmartens: Wearing Akiva pants. Keeps track of stuff and beats people up. KGB has a whip. Stuff that might be useful should go to her to put in cage or office.


Shawn: second oldest guy here. Either last or second-to-last year as student. Freshman in '91. Pop occultism: Welcome to KGB theme. ``Everybody feels lucky for having you as a friend. You are sociable and entertaining; in spite of being here. Avert misunderstanding by calm poise and balance; [meditates, falls over. Wisdom comes from experience - doesn't explain Shawn.

I lose the game committee reports ``I lost the game.

Storytelling committee: 400 year old Norwegian ship. 400 years ago kind of Sweden wants boat. Two deck boat, other kings have three decks. So he wants them too, but designed for two, oh nevermind. Built it. Low in the water. Get crew on deck, walk from one rail to other 50 times, but stopped, because going down. Bring it into bay, Everybody on top, thing tips over, just sinks. Now three masts sticking out. Tried to lift it, took everything off, couldn't get it to float. After 10 years, king says to cut off masts. Now noone knows where it is, in 80's, retired guy decides to find it. Goes around bay, gets silt, silt, dead cat, silt, oak. Gets navy diver friend. Can't see anything because it's silt and mud. Walking across bottom, runs into wall. Everybody wants boat raised, do it, and start hosing it down with antifreeze, bring to barn, They learned from it: lots of carvings with colors: nobody expected it to stay afloat, but noone panicked when it left. So lost knowledge left: how to make sails. And it's true: the building and boat are there.

Request report from committee to ensconce treasurer in liquid latex, not here.

Misappropriations committee: history repeats self.

Time travel report agrees and disagrees.

Timecube committee reports utter nonsense.

Gratuitous obscenity committee: Quuxom works at Pitt, gratuitous obscenity.

MinTruth: CMU has found weather machine.

Drawing chalk outlines under WttS: failure due to weather.

Old Business

Pfennig: edanaher: oops. Oops oops oops.

New business

motion to create the committee which will take seven years to pass. tabled.

Motion to create the committee for the class of 2010 and 2011 for archies and Shawn Knight if he ever graduates coup. Shawn may graduate next year. Passes, Paul, Shawn is chair.

Motion to allocate up to $50 for jello. Amended to ``and other possible necessary things. Amended to ``for Friday's Hello-jell-o event. Passes by acclamation.

Motion to create the committee to win The Game. All you need is cheating. Motion to rename to FTW. Fails. If you need to create a committee, you have already lost. The only winning move is not to play. You can't win, you can't break even, and you can't even win the game. Some other 80's sci fi reference. Passes, Anna, 8 is chair

Actual Real Relevant Announcements Pertaining to the Business of KGB as an Organization


Eventually, booth chair, should e-mail exec if interested.

Stay informed! LJ community CMU KGB, bboard. Also zephyr, and web site.


freenode: #cslounge.

Corsec will make video from today available for everyone.

Shawn: lost 24 pounds this summer. Freshman in '91. Don't fail out. It sucks. Also, you're not really smart. Unless you're Evan Danaher. Much nonsense ensues. Don't stay up late, go to lots of meetings and parties. Great until midterms show failing 5 classes, only signed up for 4. You won't catch up. If you're slipping, don't skip classes. You think you can, don't do it. Now have fun.

Allie: people should take fun with robots. Resnik and West Wing have had three fire alarms from the Carnegie Cafe.

Alan: Was once a history major. Once a theater major. Will set OS people on fire.

Akiva: handed out paper with submit to Dom? Got back a better pen. (Who misspelled mabye?)

Alisa: no freshman in H&SS, lucky. Afraid of not graduating before Shawn Knight, but a few short, but, now have graduated.

Em: note on power of friends. Don't skip class or sleep in class. Make sure have an SO next to you taking notes. Over the summer, when kid fell asleep, girlfriend switched back and forth for notes.

Moves to dismiss, adjoint.

Damo mumbles stuff about graduating at the same time as Shawn, again.