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Officer Reports

Dave: Saw movies: illusionist was good. Also in soft-focus. Pretty. First week of classes started.

lea: New people! Tarsis:CS:likes pencils. Ben:CS:is a freshman.

Had weekend, went to IKEA, fabric store. Does not kill puppies in spare time. Also, Dom's crotch is urgent.

csjackso: Event is not csjackso. Sold at IKEA. Event is Underground Tour. Later than a usual event. Kirr Commons at 8:00. Will have chalking and postering. Fence if possible, trickery is good, but make sure they can't get back at you with 2x4's.

Dom: hasn't done work - keeps getting dragged to parties by Alan. Lea is better than puppies, crotch is urgent, KGB correspondent pants: has sharpies for them. It's like submitting to Dom.

edanaher: has homework, battery, attendance sheet. But labor day, so no attendance. Sad.

eleather: great weekend. But classes always want things turned in Tuesdays. Forgot stuff. Treasury has what other senator Kerry was suggesting to give to children between 0 and 5 to instead of social security. Pennies on floor, not pants. Good. Pay dues! Get on better part of attendance sheet. And voting and cheaper t-shirts and such.

cmartens: had great weekend: saw Thou Shalt Not in Philadelphia. Worked on OS a lot. Pants are awesome.


Pop Occultism Committee is sleep deprived: Stuff happens - it is your response that counts: when the cop asks what you the yak and the insurance salesman, the commodore 64 were all doing in Evan's apartment, it's the response that counts. Tastes like chicken: it's two sided. The other side has children in Chinese.

Quengo of esoteric entities requested. Nothing to report.

Time travel Committee reports that aging continues... also birthday.

Ectoparasite committee likes lampreys.

Steelers Committee reports that after a summer where quarterback nearly kills self, last night quarterback admitted to hospital for emergency appendectomy. What next? Much nonsense.

lea report: new person! Luke:MSC:Lives in Schlag.

Underwear committee reports Shawn got panties in a bunch.

No shirt committee asks Jared to take shirt off. Success.

committee about thick nutritive soup says you wouldn't need pants.

committee about steak wrapped in bacon around Em reports pants would be more important.

XYZ affair reports Q.

Time cube committee reminds you to be thankful it is not reporting.

Gratuitous obscenity endorses Steelers.

committee to hijack committees reports I lost.

committee for own jcreed reports perplexity.

misappropriations committee reports that history repeats itself.

Time travel Committee reports that aging continues... oh wait.

Old Business

Pfennig: Greg: inconsistent fake accents not his pfault.

New Business

motion to make all officers speak in fake British accents for the remainder of this meeting. It makes that baby Jesus's ears bleed. Crumpets instead of cookies? Crumpets would be good. No mount Crumpet. Passes.

motion to create a committee with a long name fails.

Motion to burn akiva at the bloody stake. Shawn, as chaplain, thinks burning akiva at the stake is heresy, carry on. Akiva: motion to not burn self at the stake. He turned him into a newt: he got better. No more Monty Python references. We should bring marshmallows. And graham crackers and chocolate. Passes, will burn akiva at stake.

Motion to create Cecil Rhodes committee to preserve and expand the British Empire. Passes: Alan, chair self.

Motion to make an allocation not to exceed $60 million to raise an army to retake Rhodesia. Changed to motion to allocate whatever nerf guns members are willing to donate to retake Rhodesia. Alisa will trade three wood for two grains. Take over Djibouti instead? Resolved.

Allocate something not to exceed $100 for firewood, useful supplies for turning freshmen into burned meat for Underground Tour.

Actual Real Relevant Announcements Pertaining to the Business of KGB as an Organization

For Underground Tour, going to have a big red banner with KGB banner to unfurl from fascist balcony.

Need sneaksy people for Underground tour. Talk to people.

Activities fair Wednesday, exec will be there.

Event Underground Tour. UC black chairs Friday at 8:00. Be inconspicuous. On fire is inconspicuous enough.


Shawn: Why God, Why!

Em: Senate looking for a poster policy enforcer. Also looking for a CTO.

Dave: apply for poster policy enforcer: then we can bend it.

Everyone should check out Dom's benders.

Dave: has a radio show 10-12 on Sundays. Will play music that's awesome.

Damo: found out that he was born a few days after the guy who invented birth control pills died.

Shawn: A friend born 9 months after the Manson murders.

People want to leave.