From KGB Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Officer Reports

dlstern: had a week, mostly a hermit. Paid bills, Went to meetings for project.

lea: First vice president. Laura Abbott:CS:Middle of nowhere upstate NY:Once tried to go up a down escalator. Don't have a comic in the Tartan because both were run last week. Currently, editor draws lots of comics, people her should draw them. Parents are taking over room, and pushing kids into the trailer.

csjackso (chromium silver): Event: Get Board, get carded. games. Porter Hall A18.

dom: Just got two new hats. Did nothing productive over the weekend. Took pictures. Wearing pants - sharpies in head band.

edanaher: Homework and walking Schenley. The latter was fun.

em: discovered that many races like women, Vikings like women, and self may be meaty and good covered in ketchup. Ketchup likes vikings and women. There will be a pirates expansion on vikings. KGB's budget could buy 1.5 sailboats.

lea: Matt Grow:Philosophy/Physics:northern New Jersey:I...

cmartens: Not Gwillen. Have kittens. Made delicious pancakes.


Steeler committee reports Herr Vogel began E&M by announcing that if you're from Cincinnati, you lost a letter grade. Jacksonville, a half letter grade.

Pop occultism: The man who rows the boat doesn't have time to rock it. Conclusion: If the boat is rockin', don't bother rowin'. A faithful friend is a strong defense - they slow the bullets down just enough. Also a good offense. And Alexander the great had no arms. Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it; KGB disavows it, Shawn condones it.

Time travel committee: several KGB members are future parents of the Atreides.

Ornithopter committee reports disappointment in the lack of the flowing of the spice.

Committee to postulate what the world would be like if instead of air we had thick nutritive soup reports whales.

Committee to postulate what the world would be like if instead of air we had thick nutritive poop reports gross.

Committee to postulate what the world would be like if instead of air we had bacon wrapped around Em reports the steak must flow.

Committee for the destruction of Ohio reports an advance base acquired.

Mornington Crescent committee reports that it is a game in which the player convinces as many people as possible that it exists.

Storytelling committee: Once there was a young man in Italy, and played soccer professionally. Very good. Had difficulty getting anyone to go with him to the prom: approach, they run away tittering. So asked uncle: How do I get someone to go to the prom with me? Uncle: something interesting enough to get people to join in: show up at the park, have a chance to go to the prom with me. Four show up: You stand 60 feet away with apple, I have soccer ball. Whoever I knock the apple off, I'll go with you. First couldn't do it. Second, fell off. Third: Not going to happen. The fourth stood there, perfectly still. Apple went off, they went to the prom. This is true.

Rollerblades do not work on stairs, can climb without stairs.

Committee for the row of Matts requests another one join them.

Old Business

The pfennig: Elise: Dom's hat.

Resumed discussion of the committee which will take seven years to pass. Tabled.

New Business

Allocation up to $30 for get board get carded.

Motion to create the committee to get hat guy a new hat. Purpose: to raise money for obtaining a new hat for hat guy. No child left unblind committee reports money has better uses, like class 4 laser. mstephen: it's a good idea. Excellent hats in McConomy last night, should get an ostrich hat. Rename to Mike Stephenson, Queen of the Desert committee: A fabulous idea. Should be no less than one foot in height. Passes: $5.50: self chair.

Motion to create the Row of Matts committee: purpose: to maintain and build up a row of Matts. We lost the prettiest. But nonsense results in an infinite number. Canadians are not exempt. Passes: $6 to Matts: chairs are Matts.

Reminds Shawn of 1991 when there were more committees than girls.

Motion to create a thousand committees that are girls: Motion is not typesafe. Not an auction for each committee. Oppose because of nazi overtones: women's places are children, kitchen, and committees. We are in Maggie Mo, those are not a women's prerogatives. What do you tell a committee with two black eyes. Fails.

Motion to create the Alliance of Alex's and Consortium of Chriss's, and tabled.

Request for attendance sheet to be forwarded to row 3, or row of Matts minus 1.

Motion to create the pro-cancer committee: no second.

Motion to create the pro-Sagittarius committee. Dropped.

Revived, renamed to committee for indiscriminate archery: Purpose: for Todd to do stuff. If people pay with micro-pipettes may be a class. Should work with committee to suggest trebuchet targets. Random holes on campus approves. Eyeball committee reports success. Motion to purple. Passes: $6 to Alan. Chair: Todd, self.

Actual Real Relevant Announcements Pertaining to the Business of KGB as an Organization

csjackso: Event: Get board, get carded, bring games. Play games, bring friends, make friends play games.

Em: Senate vacancies on Thursday in every college or all but MCS. Should go to info desk and fill out petition. Like KGB, but tries to be serious.

Em: Dues are due by the 30th.


Alan He who controls the spice, controls the universe, but if you order vindaloo at three, you're an idiot.

Shawn: Saw spamalot. So funny. Only time ever that mother and self in the same place, where someone said twat. Mother laughed harder than Shawn.

Shawn: ESG studies stuff. Tonight at 6:30: Egyptian mythology and magic, porter 226B.

Todd: what he said earlier that should have been here.

Em: Squill Kosher food pantry requesting an organization with extra floor panels from booth or floor/shelf-like objects - can't store stuff on floor.

Ross: bicycle based-camping trip. Email rhatton@andrew [dlstern: Unless it's already been changed, it's a KGB-sponsored bike-trip.]

Alan: First, jcreed is a genius. Second, store on Murray called classic Persian carpets. Don't buy stuff there: he hasn't paid Alan in weeks.