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Officer Reports

dlstern: Had a week, a bunch of work. Next week, a bunch of turkey and work. Akiva's dad is smarter than Akiva, dlstern, lea, wiped the floor in Balderdash. So having a rematch.

lea: Sleepy, lacking Akiva, so this is fast.

Adding in freakish relation of person next to you. Michael:ChemE:Know the guy, he's a freak:Houston, TX:Asian Victoria:No clue:Produced by binary fission from neighbor:Outside of Austin:Wearing pants.

cognoscenti scenester jackso: Event is super easy! Foisting responsibility onto the people: eat turkey and sleep. Possible with fangs, vampirism, sucking of stuffing.

dom: Going to fail 212, might lose another tooth. Going to Boston. Spend time with family, and SUBMIT TO PRAVDA.

edanaher: Standing up! Totally standing up. Nobody can possibly think that I'm sitting down. Especially the other officers. 212 Assignment 6. Graphics in SML are concurrent, so the concurrent assignment was sad. ASCII graphics are good.

eleather: No pennies in boots! Disappointed: don't know how to count. Had a weekend. Pretty super awesome. Have cute things, one of the kittens is now owned. One of the kittens appears to have a brain for each leg. Number 132 in binary on fingers. Freshman ECE majors thought it was 136.

chrisamaphopolis: Have to follow kittens, doesn't work. Have a kitten, but no pictures.


No-pants committee asks Victoria to take her pants of. Rejected.

Steelers committee reports that the season may suck, but at least we meat the browns.

Pop-occultism committee: Swamped: Accept your greater good: Accept your grader good? Conflict of interest? An old broom knows where the dirt is. [Shawn, where's the dirt]? And an old mortician knows where the bodies are buried. An old solvent knows where the solute is... Beauty will surround you - open your eyes to see it. Not *surrounded*. Be indifferent to snide remark - ignore meetings. A lifestyle is what you pay for, a life is what pays you. Lifestyle is sushi-guzzling WoW addict, life is CMU. Seems backwards. Study metaphysics - you will find much to appreciate: ESG: UFO's. Be careful: bees with honey in their mouths have stings in their tails. Float like a honey, sting like a mouths? Or COVERED IN BEES.

Time travel committee and Cecil Rhodes committee for the preservation and extension of the British Empire: Has completely fallen apart, should try to start it earlier, or save it from itself. Went to 1150 in Mesoamerica: almost to the wheel, could be pushed along, taught to drink tea. Arduous hacking through the jungles. Emerged into a city. Stone wheels: didn't move, but were wheels. Temples. Men with dignity, children had more dignity than KGB exec officers. One removed mask, looked at him, consulted briefly with huge stone tablet of legends. Said: why aren't you buying more tangerines? Knew that was home.

Ectoparasite committee approves or turkey vampirism.

Misappropriations: birthoptercom prime, happy birthday.

Storytelling. Beginning to snow, a few drive cars. Once, twice, or three times a year, a day with snow/sleet/hail, roads go bad. Used to live at the bottom of Negley hill. Used to, on these days, grab cell phone, blanket, sit at the bottom of the hill, wait for the car crash. Usually worked out just like that. Have seen a guy coming west on Fifth to make a left up the hill who really wanted to make that light. He was in a truck, rear wheel drive, made the turn, fishtailed as he went up the hill. Fishtailed all the way up the hill. Have seen people intentionally run into telephone poles to avoid worse things. Someone came over the top. Weren't going fast. Unfortunately, a little faster than they should have been. Realized this, step on the breaks, something happens, take foot off, put back on a little. The car is slowing down. No idea if it'll stop in time. We're standing there. With about 50 feet to go, passenger begins to scream. Comes to a gentle stop, bumper barely into fifth. Sitting there in the snow, the passenger continues to scream. So if you drive, please be careful.

Ornithopter committee: delivering pizzas this year is bad.

Boring discussions about coal committee: add to storytelling committee: father grew up in Pittsburgh, in 1950 was the second largest snowfall in history: over a yard. Sledded down Negley hill, no vehicles (it was 1950). We should try it.

More pop-occultism; it is better to understand little than misunderstand a lot.

Committee for the massive slaughter of helpless animals: a very fun week.

Old Business

eleather left the pile of change including the pfennig at home: still eleather:you having to see your families.

New Business

Motion to create the Shawn already did a stupid thing so you don't have to committee. Purpose: for the chair to talk about the stupid things Shawn did so you know not to do them. E.g., How he wrecked his car in Squill because the road was three inches of ice. If he has a lot of experience, what level is he? Partially fused with infinity. $5 to Shawn: chair self.

Motion to create the committee that's worth exactly one dollar. Purpose: to be worth one dollar. Also various things that are worth a dollar need to be discussed. eleather approves. Inverse committee on non-integer whole numbers thinks it's amazing. [Opening bid of $10]. $10 to Paul, chair self.

Motion to create the committee to analyze really weird dreams: purpose, to figure out what dreams mean. Quuxom saw a pair of Freudian slippers. Example of a dream: last night, taking a Concepts test, moved to serving spaghetti to Darth Vader. Then the failings of the Steelers. More flux. $8 to Shawn. Chairs Laura and self.

Motion to create the serve us a cervesa service, sir vice. Not seconded.

Motion to create the Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo committee. Purpose: to discuss fucked-up grammar. $13 to Andrew. Chair self.

Motion to create the fun but weird shit going on around Pittsburgh committee: redundant - every committee does this, but more money is good. Amended to fun but weird and kinky. There are already web sites for that, but not at KGB meetings. $1 to Jordan for $3.

Motion to get the fuck on with this, called to question. Call to question fails. You have free will and legs. Parliamentarian; Alisa has moved to end this item and move to the next. Em moved the question of whether to vote. That motion failed, in discussion on how to vote of ending this meeting, moving forward to the next part of this meeting. Amendment to change to "motion to end this section of the ending and move on to the next". Amended to ... and shoot the parliamentary. Postpone the motion indefinitely. Call to question, Roll call vote, second, dilatory. Motion to have the sergeant at arms remove the treasurer from the room for being dilatory. Passes. Passes. So it is postponed.

No more new business.

Actual Real Relevant Announcements Pertaining to the Business of KGB as an Organization

csjackso: Turkey

dom: hates you all comma SUBMIT TO PRAVDA.

shawn; best Student senate meeting ever attended.

Alisa: Sorry.


Billy Nayer? show performing on Sunday the 8th. They made the movie "The American Astronaut".

lea: Anyone going to be in Boston should let lea know, need lots of manpower to overpower Akiva's dad (in balderdash.

twizmer: Linux!

Paul: Anyone going to be in Connecticut, don't look him up. Going to be inside a large concrete replica of a whale.

cmartens: Anyone going to be in Pittsburgh, need's someone to catsit. (Nesky?)

almond: anyone plays clarinet/flute, interested in pit orchestra, desperate.

Val: discovered another paper which mentions self, review of midsummer night's dream. "A woman in fairy wings who wasn't in the show"

shawn: ESG tonight: UFOs, 6:30 in PH 226B. Alien who gave a guy pancakes.