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Officer Reports

dlstern: First executive to report. Two weeks left until exams, great because don't have them, but then these two weeks are real bad. Ipod, in the past four hours, became second to, instead of playing lots, only plays the song "Shit, you're going to have to go to the Ipod store". Goes like click click click click click click.

lea: Two archies and self recorded a horrible gangster rap song. Made it up on the spot. The way to get back at others who listen to this genre. Followup to thing about Boston and Balderdash - singlehandedly beat Mr. Leffert at Balderdash. Alex:Computer Science:Am a programmer.

crayola sniffin' Jackson: This morning, reached into bag, pulled out pen, cheap pen, instead of removing the whole pen, removed the back part from the part that writes and the cap; they couldn't be separated. Lost the rest of it, but still have the tube as proof. Have an event; KGB falls on its ass (ice skating). Happening this Friday at some time, need to account for transportation, ice skating times. If you want to go, e-mail csjackso@andrew.cmu.edu. Will send a response with where to meet, what to do if late, when it is, meeting at UC black chairs. [Occasional events require small amounts of money. $6.50, if incredibly destitute, something can be worked out.]

dom: vacation was great, tofurkey is delicious. Took pictures today of people on the street, they were creeped out. Taking naked pictures tomorrow. Want to make more pravda?s, but people are losers, you should submit to pravda?.

edanaher: went home, planned to do work, but spent time with family instead, so now have work.

eleather: Also have a family, went to Virginia, Boston, Vermont, Virginia, exhausted. Sleep didn't help, so still tired. Have boots which are loved. Used to have boots identical to these. Left them in the lounge for three hours, they disappeared, had note for weeks on the board about it. Then mom sent more. Probably not Dan's fault. Now the company doesn't make them anymore. So cool boots that zip up to the knees, let her know. If KGB spent treasury buying identical pairs of boots, could buy roughly 150 pairs of them.

cmartens has an OS?


Time travel committee; reporting two words, with a visual aid.

Pop occultism: To be great is to be misunderstood. You have a keen sense of humor: why you're at kGB is anybodies guess. Teamwork: the fuel that allows common people to obtain uncommon results. That's Butane. Keep your courage up, and it will keep you up. Prefer keeping caffeine levels up. You will take a chance on something in the near future: finals.

Underwear committee; complete success in getting people to take of their underwear: four pairs of panties in random places on the street: one from a light in Penn station, one in the middle of the street in Wall street, one in the train station.

Misappropriations: short hair: alanv, wtf?

Time travel: hehe, whoops. With map of Europe in 1900.

Steelers committee: nothing to say, because the steelers didn't either. Misappropriations: history: history repeats itself, "Fine, how was yours?"

Misappropriations: history: history repeats itself.

Boring facts about coal committee: Nothing to say: 56 miners died in a coal fire in... somewhere.

Committee for getting around in weird fashions: everyone should buy motorcycle, but first make sure your helmet is a real helmet, not a novelty helmet: life in danger, and wearing a stupid helmet.

Committee for in the future, everyone will have their own jcreed, picture Vincent's mouth, eating a KGB meeting forever.

Misappropriations: history: history repeats itself.

gzearfoss memorial committee: aaaaaaahhhhhhh!

History: gzearfoss repeats himself.

Doomsday: sometimes history stops repeating itself. The red heifer has not yet been successfully bred.

Weird, yet fun and kinky shit happening around Pittsburgh: Rocky Horror picture Saturday midnight in 7500.

Old Business

Em doesn't have the pfenning again. Lack of sleep not her fault.

New Business

Move to end this part of the meeting. Lack of a second.

Motion to create the ancient Egyptian Gods committee. Purpose: to summon the ancient Egyptian Gods. Motion to rename to Todds, friendly. Will virgins be required, and will we need a committee to find them? Standing committee: KGB. Also, Egyptian Gods don't like blood sacrifices, but there are others, the blood will not be wasted. Weio weio weio weio weio. Passes, $11 to Quuxom, chairs are Todd and Shawn.

Motion to create the ride the Anubis committee. Fails for lack of a second and general despair.

Motion to create the Dom looks good in heels committee. Amend to the Dom looks good in Em's shoes committee. Amendment fails. Committee Passes, $3 to Jordan, chair self and Dom.

Motion to create the committee to build more virgins. Purpose: for sacrifices. Citizens demand more virgins. Committee to postulate if instead of air we had thick nutritive soup thinks this is a good idea: we can liquefy them. How do goals work with committee to find or build Abe a girlfriend. Committee to postulate what the world would be like if instead of air we had steak wrapped in bacon attached to Emily: this isn't 1992 anymore. What about demivirgins? dlstern: show me a hymen! Don't need to build them, we still have a bunch. Committee for fun yet weird and kinky stuff around Pittsburgh thinks this is a fantastic idea. Build them in vats. Google virgin is in beta. Need invites. Committee to compact babies does not support it. Soylent green committee reports it approves. Way better building project than the usual one. If we suicide bomb ourselves, would we have to build 72 of them. The FBI says hello. Experiment and find out. One of the mini-projects in place of booth? How does the price of virgins compare to boots? Can buy 300 boots, how many virgins? 3-3.5 boots per virgins. Southern baptist ministry: How to make virgins: take a pledge not to have any more sex, the other way is surgery. Passes: $6 to Andrew. Chair Alisa and Tarsis.

Actual Real Relevant Announcements Pertaining to the Business of KGB as an Organization

csjackso: Event: ice skating need to RSVP, or else stabbed. Not hard or with pointy things. But still stabbed. Price is $6.50.

Talked about projects that aren't booth. General policy: if you have an idea for a cool project that KGB should do with KGB's money, stuff, or name, should e-mail idea to exec@cmukgb.org. Also, should have an actual meeting to talk about it. Will have a meeting at some time. Will be announced and posted to the bboard.

Fence thing: akiva is busy, if other people want to do it, let him know. Hopefully free during finals week. Nobody wants the fence during exams, people have time.


Alan: Saturday at midnight. Wean 7500. Rocky Horror. Picture show.