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Officer Reports

Jared: Weekend was Superbusy. ITR until 3AM! Finished Mass Effect! Enough credits for dual degree!

Glisson: First VP. Name is Glisson.

New People:

 Derek. ECE. Contortionist. Mudge. *contorts*
 Eric. Masters in robotics. Occasionally a ninja.
 Derek. CS. NC. Been to places.
 ???. CS. TJ. Doesn't enjoy cheese.
 Michael. CS. Pittsburgh. From Pittsburgh.

Had a weekend. Ran a DnD game. Killed everything. Six hours to get nowhere.

Carolyn: EVENT: KGB Digs its Own Grave. Karaoke with the KGB! Porter A18 almost star (no b). Lots of ITR. Boyfriend visiting.

Nicole: Made a Pravda?. Saved metal, no trees. SUBMIT TO PRAVDA?!

Drew: Accidentally the whole attendance sheet.

Laura: Had a weekend. ITR. OS. 7.5 Google Android phones. (7 officers...) PAY YOUR DUES!

Liz: Had a weekend. Unexpected. Did a lot of nothing, ended up at a penguins game.


Gratuitous Obscenities:

 Joint with Steelers: Where the fuck is our OL?
 Miss appropriate Committee to postulate what it would be like if instead of air we had thick soup: Kinda like drive into air.

Ben Wolf: Groan and Ben Wolf Jokes. Farmer's John clothes had a hole and a broken strap. Overall problem.


Drew Besse Kinda Sounds Like JFK When He Gives Reports: Ask not what drew can do for the KGB. Ask what the KGB can do for Drew.

Matthew Glisson Memorial Self Injury: Had to write Matlab code.

ESG: Todd Crow speaking on Apollo Pennsylvania.

Ad hoc for Dancing Jared: Success!

Encourage George W Bush to be the center square on Hollywood squares: Getting closer.

More Pants: Pants at TOC means people do have more than one pair of paints at CMU.

Ad hoc for Dancing Jared: Success!

Row of Matts: Reinstate war against Chrises. Will destroy all of you. Where by "all of you" I mean "Chrisamaphone". Matt is the Dave for Purnell. Glisson is now joining the school of drama.

Ad hoc for musical interlude while Glisson turns on his laptop: stalls

Report requested from Committee to kick Teki in the Ass.

Assassins Committee: *lists people who have dropped out* Peter died at 5:31.

Old Business

Todd has it, I think. Election people on the cut are not his fault.

New Business

50 for the event. Seconded and passed by acclamation.

Jared's Ass is Stronger than Nicole Committee:

 Purpose: I donno!
 Amended to Teki's Ass is Stronger than Nicole
 Nicole or Nicole'S? Yes
 Boing boing blub blub boom approve
 Amened to Teki's Ass is Stronger than the Indianapolis Colts
 What are you going to do with all that junk?
 In Favor: Shake what your Momma gave you.
 Opposed: Stand Stock Still.
 Abstain. Porno Squid.
 $2 to Dannel. Teki's Ass, Dom and Dannel and Nicole to chair.

Committee to add the Turths about Evan to the Wiki.

 Purpose: Spam the wiki with the TRUTH ABOUT EVAN!
 Who is Evan????? (the mostest wildest and most rambunctious person eva!)
 Injudicious Exclamation: Evan? I hardly evan...
 With this include truthiness instead of truth? (Dr Quuxum is too old)
 Not be Nicole's job.
 In Favor: Truth about Evan!
 Opposed: Lies about Evan!
 Abstain: Who is Evan?
 $20 to Dr Quuxum. Evan and Dr Quuxum to chair.

Dannel: Committee to prevent the Tartan Missile Crisis (as officiated by Drew):

 Purpose: No embargoes on other countries.
 Like lipstick on the bay of pigs.
 South Shore Theater: Approves
 In favor: Do a dance.
 Opposed: What is the purpose
 Abstain: Switch topic to Sarah Palin.
 $4 to Dr Quuxum: Quuxum to Goob to chair

Committee for Internet Procrastination

 Spread good flash games on the internet.
 Motion to table the motion, seconded.

Motion to create the Late-Night On-Stage Make-Out Session Committee (no second...)

Motion to make KGB Dance for 15 seconds.

 In Favor: Dance for 15 seconds.
 Opposed: Submit more new business
 Abstain: Wave your hands in the air

8 bit music committee:

 Purpose: *8 bit music*
 Discussion: Boing boing blub blub boom approves
 Dr. Quuxum: Create new member named Sid? (two people will get that).
 In Favor: Whine about chip-tunes
 Opposed: Undying love about chip-tunes
 Abstain: Call Jared a fucker.
 $9 to Quuxum. Dannel and Quuxum to chair.

Motion to Create the Committee to Determine how Young is Rauhit

 Purpose: To make old people feel old.
 Will be really easy... once its legal for him to get a Facebook.
 Will his first experiences with dating be carbon dating?
 If you take the AGE of the youngest and oldest members, subtract, you are older than most grad students.
 Make sure Rauhit's future dates don't break his heart.
 In Favor: Wild guess about his age.
 Opposed: Complain that everyone already knows he is 12.
 Abstain: insist that he is actually 14.
 $8 to Aballard: Rauhit to chair.

Motion to create the committee to determine how many calories Jared burns during each meeting:

 Purpose: Determine how many calories Jared burns during each meeting
 Just as long as he doesn't have to be hooked up to machines.
 How does one define a KGB meeting?
 Kicking Teki in the ass create way to burn calories.
 Jared likes to hook up with machines instead too machines? (depends on the machine...)
 In Favor: Falcon Punch
 Opposed: Taunt Glisson
 Abstain: uaaaaah!
 $9 to Dannel: Disbanded

Motion to create the committee to put Jared in a dress and leg-warmers:

 *Dress is now WOTD*
 Already accomplished half this goal
 At Halloween Party: Make exec wear funny things. Keep this in mind.
 In Favor: Plan to mob Jared at a later date.
 Opposed: Form a mental image of Jared in a dress.
 Abstaining: Wave your hands above yo head.
 $11 Dannel: Everyone but Jared to chair, including Dannel's Mom.


Event: Dig our own grave. Sign out of tune. Porter A18 almost star. PAY YOUR DUES! Voting on important things soon.


ESG tonight in not the old CS lounge. Pay your dues. Alisha has tickets to students for tomorrow night's Obama's having policy people talk about policy. Paul has the tickets. Talk to Paul if you want a ticket. Rocky this weekend. Rocket club.