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Officer Reports


Weekend was crazy. Legendary Greg was back. Legendary ITR. GRE's tomorrow. Dad is hospital yesterday - nothing major. Call from uncle saying "dad is hospital" was fun.


New People:

Pat. Scranton. Won a Pokemon tournament. 
Emily CS. Freshman. Here last week, didn't do it (she came in late).
Andrew. 45 minutes away from here. CS. Male.

Parents came this weekend. Went to some awesome store. $100 dollar lego set for $40. Got a hair cut.


Event! Movie Night! Cause people will be out of town and will bitch if an event is interesting. Bring movies! Breed hall! The real one!

Had a weekend. Boyfriend = awesome. ITR = awesome. Dancing.


Hit head on thing. Fell off bike, hurt ankle, had to dance. Had combat boots. Made a Pravda. Mom is coming at end of this week.

==Drew== In corner. Math studies exam. Is done now!

==Laura== Lots of OS. Checkpoint 1. Girls night. Gossiped and ate ice cream and made pizza.

==Liz== Weekend was hockey and homework. Leaped eggs. Leap-ped? Lept?


No! Not Committees!

New Business

$30 allocated for movie night.

Amend bylaws as specified

What did bylaws originally state: (rec sec looks it up and missing what else was talked about)

Vote: For: Many. Opposed: 0. Abstain: 2

Moved that KGB builds a booth for carnival 2009

Last meeting talked about booth. Booth is hard. Will destroy your life. But is awesome!

When its backout date? December.

Theme? Still being discussed.

KGB Buggy? hahahahahaha! (shopping cart. Ivan. Some small chick...)

Vote: For: 28. Opposed 0: Abstain: Several. Passes!


Pop Occultism

Needs more fortunes.


Hey Jared! Who is doing ESG tonight? Some guys are presenting on some stuff. Where by "some guys" we mean "Jared and Dr Quxuum talking about wierd geography"

Start the fucking movie!

(words cannot describe how awesome that was Dom)

Pop Occultism

Whenever possible keep it simple. Plain white cubical box. Barns are just fine.

You have an important new business development shaping up. Sell KGB members to raise money for booth.

There is no education like adversity: Power tools on body parts = bad!

Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. No one was there. KGB was fined for not having booth staff during midway hours.

You have an iron will. Steel power tools, help us succeed in booth.

Keep your plans secret for now. Even carnival committee doesn't know what the theme is.

Booth Committee

If you have a suggestion for overall theme, email Liz. Interested in rules committee, email Liz.

Steelers committee

Best KGB the movie since the one where he yelled "DICK" a lot!

Booth Committee

Too specific for carnival theme but pretty awesome, we can use it. Booth chair! Tell us now! Email exec@cmukgb.org

Committee to turn labbott into a dominatrix

Carolyn is surpassing labbott. Carolyn wants to hit him, but that would prove the point.

Suggestion for booth committee

Ask old people about what past carnival themes were - stuff gets recycled. Possible ideas for booth theme before carnival theme? Look back at old themes as they get recycled.

Groan at Ben Wolf Jokes

Friend had dental work. Worried about teeth ware. Dentist says "trust your feelings".

Misappropriate injudicious exclamation

The stack grows down.

Committee to NOT burn down Roselawn seven

Party on Thursday! 9PM

Storytelling Committee

Food or finance?

Food: Oatmeal every morning. Do not mix cayenne with cinnamon!

Finance: Guy wearing hat who wants to make money. If you have money, want to put it in a place that makes you more money. Guy puts shitty mortgages in the champaign bottle. Money overflows and goes into champaign glasses. People get money out of champaign glasses. Rate of return on champaign glasses. Money flowing into champaign glasses every month. Is like "this champaign glass will always have champaign in it" and so gets good rating. Even though its based on shitty mortgages. And money stuff happens. Another guy has a bigger hat, makes his own pile of champaign glasses. Fills with the first guys bottom champaign glasses. Gets a high rating. Problem: when first champaign bottle filled with crummy mortgages crumbles...

Old Business

David? gets the thing. Hindenburg is not his fault. Everything else is.

New Business

Puzzle Hunt

Need $400 for puzzle hunt. $400 is a lot, so lets discuss. What would it be spent on? Half food/half props and costumes.

Lots of money, but puzzle hunts have been very cool in the past. And this is a big school wide event.

Props reused for booth? Potentially.

Reused for puzzle hunts: Yes.

For: Lots. Against: None. Abstain: Some

Motion to create the committee to turn cswayer into a dominatrix

Are you happy?
Carolyn talks like a lolcat. "I can has you on the floor?" isn't serious.
Dead puppies! (best thing about an inside joke...)
I can has whipping?
Ad hoc for breaking Alan's psyche: thriving
In favor: Lolcat
Opposed: invisible dominatrix
Abstain: aaaaaah!
$40 to Dr Quuxum. Ben Wolf, Glisson and Dr Quuxum to chair.

Points of information

Nine more people to be dominatrixes so we can pay for puzzle hunt.
Seven more people to be dominatrixes so we can have a dominatrix-matrix.

Motion to create the committee for the prevention of breaking Alan's brain

Committee will say: Lets not do that -- KGB will be like "yes"
Purpose of this committee may be contradict purpose of KGB.
Don't want brain breakage? Don't go to roselawn seven party.
In favor: Happy puppies
Abstain: Porno squid.

Motion to create the committee to break Alan!

Will require services of Carolyn's committee. And pigeon holing.
Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes: Hi Alan!
Redundancy: This is the KGB
Assassination Committee: Alan. Hello.
Conjoined twins triple amputee: We got you covered.
Unitarian Jihad: Apologizes.
Opposed: Shotgun.
Abstain: Shop smart.
Passes: $13 to Dr Quxuum. Dan and Dr Quxuum and Dannel and Zsparks to chair.


Event! Movies! Breed hall at 7 on Friday.


ESG with President and favorite Pitt Staff member. Wean 5316 at 6:30.
KGB hates Alan? No, KGB loves Alan.
Shawn took penultimate test. Final midterm. Thinks he did well. Going to graduate... saw his favorite musician, Peter Hammel and got to shake his hand.
Roselawn seven party: 7PM on Thursday.
Purple purple getfo and purple!