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Officer Reports

The Rec Sec tried to guess officer reports before they happened. Lets see how good he was...


Guess: I have a report. Something about a weekend. Something about robots.

Actual: Big goofy grin all the time. Home on Saturday. Gone for the WHOLE WEEK! Playing through star-con two. Race called the Unga makes jokes. Such as "What do you get when you cross * * and *. Something groanable. Saluted for it.


New People

None So did Richard instead.


Guess: Something about a weekend. Something about his frat(s).

Actual: Weekend. Really good play at Prunel, Into the Woods. Made pie.


Guess: Something about a weekend. Something about the EVENT. (KGB Klassic! Chiptunes! Retro Videogames! C-club)

Actual: No room on table. Event! KGB Klassic with C-Club! Wean Hall! Had two weekends with a conference. Presented a paper and didn't explode.


Guess: Something about a weekend. Something about not dancing.

Actual: Questionably safe. Met rnathan. She was like "Natale". Nicole was like "No...". DS! Go on Saturday! Submit to Pravda!


Guess: Something about a weekend. Something about guessing reports BEFORE THEY HAPPEN. Something about how meta this is.

Actual: Trying to guess his own reports. Better at some than others. Good at his own, even talking about the meta-ness about this. But forgot to talk about his weekend.


Guess: Something about a kernel. Argh blargh!

Actual: Trying to contradict me. But "aaaaaaaaaah". Kernel! Over! End of "ahhh OS death reports".


Guess: Something about a weekend. Something about a boy.

Weekend: Weekend. Lots of time doing nothing. Little time watching steelers game. Homeworkdeath. Haha.



When you score in football... (you score in real life). Number Theory. When you score, you get 2 points, 3 points, 6 (+0-2) points. Games cannot end 1-0. Number Theory wankers can work out what scores are more popular than others. 11-10 is unlikely, but possible. And it happened. But it had never happened before. I 12837 games. Almost ended (17-19)-10, but the Refs suck at life. So if you get asked "Who was the first team to win by a score of 11-10?", answer "What are the Pittsburgh Steelers". Line for the game was 4 points. Steelers should've won by more than 4. People lost 66 million dollars because of this. Shawn is happy because he got a rare score. Steelers have won 7 games now.

Pop Occultism

In honor of this weeks event: Reference to old KGB events edition

Every Day in your life is a special occasion: Remembers freshman orientation

Thrilling time is in store for you: Remembers freshman orientation -- as a senior.

Your ability to help others may not be seen by all: Remembers the first time he helped with booth

Talent is a flame, genius is a fire: Don't talk about that event anymore

Except your Independence and use it wisely: Remembers the first useless person auction

Future is whatever you make of it, so make it a good one: Remembers next year's useless person auction

Romance is likely strike up a conversation: No punctuation. Read it as "Romance is likely strike, up a conversation" So like "Hey you are cute. Pow. Now lets talk about our relationship".

Cooking is easy. Good taste is hard. That is why you call takeout. Remembers KGB iron chef. (Did we really? Five years ago. People in Roselawn 7. People in Roselawn 5 or 6. Took over both kitchens, had a video camera. Ready to stream it. Teki was doing color commentary. Theme was "frosting" Should do it again, but with something like Giant Squid.)


The kernel deadline hits. You die. The late days around your neck begin to glow. You feel much better.


This saturday! 10PM! Norm place!

Committee to treat KGB as a groundhog for winter

Sad the window is closed. Had cool report planned.


Mstevens on Daoism.

Committee to not burn down Roselawn 7

RA gave them cupcakes.


Theme: 2000 Leagues Under the Sea

Drew the Porn King

Dannel was like "blah blah blah" and Drew was like "hahaha I'm the RecSec I'm not writing this down".


Art students met Lea yet?

Advancement of Tentacled Preachers

Awesome steam-punk giant squids.


Concept art for steam-punk giant squid.

Old Business

Jared has it. Confused that apartment was ON FIRE! and so doesn't have it.

Steam-punk squid is not his fault.

New Business

$50 for Event

Passed by acclamation

Glisson Fails

$100 for Puzzle Hunt

We went over. Actual serious vote. Our budget can covert it, but still want to ask. Did a vote. It passed with lots of hands.

Motion to create the Fourier Committee

To Figure out the frequency components of EVERYTHING

Proof of fact, too large fit in margin.

Pronounced Euler, not Euler.

Euler... with mayonnaise? with mayonnaise? with mayonnaise?

Require a cosiner?

Getting off on a tangent. Lets fix this.

In Favor: Falcon punch Shawn.

Opposed: Make a non-math joke.

Abstaining: Steam-punk porno squid.

$6 to Ammaresc. Ammaresc and Alan to chair.

Motion to create the Musical Committee

To propagate music and one really awful pun.

Call the question -- no?

Likes to eat at the highlander/everything free at the highlander/I like to eat at the highlander/but it makes me sick. (Westwing Story)

Tell me more tell me more...

Sad Almond isn't here.

Long long time ago in a kernel far away.

Feel geeky, or so geeky.


In Favor: Sing

Favor: Punch the singers


Passes: $25 to Paul. Paul and one other person to chair

"Who will be your chair?"

"Myself and one other person."

Committee to Build Giant Squid out of EVERYTHING

Propose: Crochet squid. Steam punk squid. Continue the trend.

Booth: Approves

Tentacled Preaches: Hell Yeah.

Everything? Yes everything! Even babies! 400 babies! Powerthist says we need more. How many more? OVER NINE THOUSAND.


Giant squid made out of more giant squid? Yes!

Pop Occultism: When you can't naturally feel upbeat, act like you are made of giant squid / your intelligence is something to be admired in giant squid.

400 pounds of jello, 3 cats, 2 dogs. 1 parakeet (and a partridge in a pair tree).

In Favor: Something

Opposed: Something

Abstain: Something

$10 to Pmellot. Pmellot Dave and Glisson to chair.

Motion to create the KGB Iron Chef Committee

Purpose: Potential delicious food.

Culinary committee fully approves.

Misappropriated giant squid approves.

Not sure if it is tasty, not sure it is non-toxic, but good idea.

Secret Ingredient: Your opponent.

Hope you make good food more often not good food.

In Favor: Food

Opposed: Toxic food (Caesar salad with Mayonnaises)


Passes: $5 to Drew. Alan, Paul, Greta and Drew to chair.

Motion to create a hug a stressed out student committee

Best idea yet.

Request report from 251 torture committee

251 torture is not TAing 251, because of OS.

In Favor: Kickboxing.

Opposed: Hug the nearest stressed-out student.

Abstain: Porno-squid.

$9 to ZSparks -- Zsparks and all the other stressed out students to chair.

Motion to create the "My female exec brings all the boys to the yard"

Purpose: To remind the guys how hot they (female exec) are.

Can one of them make zsparks a milkshake?

Type-theory bar jokes: "How hot are you?" Answer: "too hot for you".

Why are you hot?

In Favor: Compliment Female Exec.

Opposed: Be imposing.

Abstaining: Do a dance.

$7 to Dr Quxuum. Female members of exec, whoever they are at the time. And Jared during Halloween party.

Motion to create the "No really, I have a life"

Bring to KGB proof that, No really, I really do have a life. Saw a Death Knight hit eighty. 25 levels since Thursday. Shawn has a life.

Fact that someone has a larger negative number doesn't mean you don't have a negative number.

Changed to "I have more of a life than somebody".

Lost a life from OS. Needs 99 more coins.

In Favor: Fill up your life meters.

Opposed: Wop on three.

Abstaining: Foop on three.

$2 to Shawn. Shawn and whoever has an interesting life that they have more of a life than someone else by the end of the week.

Motion to Transform Exec into one Giant Squid

Jared never heard that motion, or any seconds.

Motion to create the Lolgorithm committee

I'm in your map, doing your exponent.

Use euclidean algorithm.

Natural Lol or no? Lol based ten.

Linear time?

Can I has semi-humor math joke?

That was baseless...

I which I were your derivative so I could measure the change in you relevant to the x-value.

Convinced friend that was uninterested in math that calc can be used compare Women's physiques. He became a math major.

Some Math Majors and CS Majors are not properly integrated with society.

In Favor: Internet meme to to algorithm you know.

Opposed: something

Against: something

7 or 8 to Quxuum. Set of all Math Majors, Plus Quxuum and Shawn.


EVENT! KGB and C-Club KClassic.



Crono Trigger DS!

AUO next week. Free!