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Officer Reports


Break. Was a good time. Played Pikmin. Gravity bombs that turn stars into black holes.


Two hours of sleep. Wake up in own bed. Eat breakfast on dining room table. Get on plane, spending afternoon in Pittsburgh. Did all that this morning. Had a break. It was fun.

New People

Gabe. Junior in CS. New York City. Forgot to eat breakfast. Naomi. Perspective Freshmen. Majoring in breathing. Very vital. New York. Breathes.

More Report

Played a game called overload. Kinda like Pikmin. Except using goblins that rape villages.


A lot of things to report. Weekend, parents and not drama. A zillion events. Mascaraed Ball. Actually going to have it. Bring your fancy clothes back from break. All dress up and music. Wear masks. Much awesome. Geek Finishing! Eat Sushi on reading day! RSVP to Carolyn if you want to go. Get board get carded get chess variants. Porter A, but not 18. Have the lounge for most of finals week.


Pants have a hole in them. Had a weekend, not that great. Stayed here. Probably would've been worse at home. Made a pravda? Submit to pravda? over winter break so we can have more pravda?'s. SUBMIT TO PRAVDA?!


Watched all of LOTR. Lets not do that again. Break. Good food. Not productive, but didn't have to be.


Thanksgiving. Sideswiped by truck. Little mermaid on Broadway. Little fish and stuff. Good food. Losing/finding car keys.


Thanksgiving break started Wednesday at 3:45 AM. Went kinda downhill from there. Slept on couch, deep fried turkey. Santa taught her own to be a Ninja.



Any Patriots fans? haha!

Shawn and Quxuum Variety Show

Long time ago, best friend was guy named Greg. Changed his name to Andre. Was reading the news in a deep voice. Gets to LA pronounces it "Los Ambulance" buddy in a high voice was like "You said it wrong". Then he was like "Joy Boy. Polling the pole out". Pulled the pole out. Other guy's voice went low.

Pop Occultism

Studying metaphysics you will find much to appreciate -- you said it wrong.



ESG + Pop Occultism

The moon is more useful than the sun
Why is that
Need the light more at night.
How old are you?
Asked you two years ago and said 40.
Always stand by what you said.
Conqueror said "All the great rulers have honorific titles have god in them. How about one for me?"


Firefly marathon, somewhere on Saturday.

Embarrassing Stories about Trevor

Trevor met Bill Murray.

Riding the subway one day. Looked over and was like "Shit, that looks like Bill Murray". Was trying to look, Bill Murray was trying to catch him looking. Both got off at same stop. Bill Murray gave him a noogie and was like "WHO'S GOING TO BELIEVE YOU! WHO'S GOING TO BELIEVE YOU!".

Moar Pants


Matt Black Fish Committee

Watching Iron Chef. Discussion about the KGB Iron Chef. Something might happen.


Friday at 4:30 for FIRST MEETING.

Sub-bulletin board called carnival.

Miss-appropriate T-shirt committee

We want t-shirts. Haven't made any in a LONG TIME. Time to make shirts again. Want BOOOTH shirts. Want CTFWS shirts. With other random shirts. Draw your shirt and send it to exec@cmu.kgb.org. We might make it.

Committee to Destroy Ohio

Defers to Zsparks. Who is like "FUCK OHIO!"

Unitarian Jihad

Bad idea to get in a fight with a drunk 50 year old at his birthday party. Just ask Sister.

Misappropriate Long Hair

Lots of fail.

committee to groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes

Not a hair cut. most of them cut.

Advancement of Tentacled Preachers

Car smells like crap. Asked Sister, she was like "I left a baked potato in the car four months ago. It liquidified. Something probably had tentacles.

Story telling committee

Old people want a story the young people haven't heard. Give him a request.

Who is Bill Murray? Groundhog day, staring the KGB.

Dan Rather, when he was young. Religious station. Had to play a sermon. Long, so could take a break. Phone is blinking, station manager is like "turn it off. Turn it off now". Turns the volume up to find the record is like "go to hell. go to hell...".


Who is taking Japaneses?

Shawn gets IM from coworker who always calls him Shawn Knight. Was like "taking Japanese with undergrads. You know what it is like. Was interviewing classmate. Classmate was like "do you know Shawn Knight... he seems to have a thing for Freshman girls".

Old Business

Matt Almond wants to report that the copier in hunt library accepts Canadian coins. Also lost the pfenning.

What is not the copier's fault? Accepting Canadian Coins it not its fault. Everything else is.

New Business

Csawyer's very own committee committee

Purpose: to be her very own committee

Will she feed it? Will she walk it? Will she take care of it? Can't resist that face!

In Favor: Grant

Opposed: Shout "who's going to believe you".

Abstain: Porno squid.

Sell for. $11 to Carolyn and Glisson. Them to chair.

Puzzling Committee

Purpose: Puzzle hunts and thank the person who put the puzzle in the attendance sheet.

Severed puppy head!

What is it for? A little puzzled.

With Mayonnaises?!?!!

Portal gun approves

Did you bring the rocket launcher?

Committee is a lie.

Team from last semester have not received something from president roosevelt.

In Favor: Scheme

Opposed: Loom

Abstaining: Crack up at Nicole.

Passes: $11 to Dannel. All those involved in puzzle hunts/want to got to MIT hunts to chair.

$50 for Event

Passed by Acclamation

Myst Committee

Get people together to talk about Myst.

Why so Sirus?

Glad being made, really missed it.

Zsparks missed his marked.

Myst committee, not the bad pun committee.

Books in the box in the hallway. Whose are they?

Which book do I open? aaaaaaah!

Zsparks tried to name it the Bad Pun Committee. Not friendly, not pursued.

In Favor: Talk about how myst was an awesome game.

Opposed: collect all the red pages.

Abstaining: collected all the blue pages.

Passes. Sells for * to *.

Improtent Message from Hoffman

Purpose: Make fun of Hoffman.

Cannot make fun of all of Hoffman's typos in finite time.

A great idea.

Gave answer to a final question last fall.

Twelve Matchstick.

asic. ascii. sasci.

In favor: typo!

Opposed: dyslexic.

Abstaining: Wonder what is going on on the board

$9 to Dannel. Every CA who has the miss fortune of dealing with Hoffman. And students.

Saint Francis of Ascii Committee

Purpose: Illuminated Ascii Art

In old days, could animate ascii.

Light version.

Historically, fancy letters are Illuminated.

Hate Ascii.

Rename Illuminated Unicode? Not friendly. Not pursued.

Try to make icon joke, doesn't understand any of them.

Saint Francis of Ascii play Halo? Only Ascii versions.

In Favor: Covered in bees! Ascii bees! So a's.

Opposed: nethack jokes.

Abstaining: Robot squid.

$4 to Nicole. Glisson, Nicole, Dannel to chair.



Get board get carded get chess variants! Games!

CS Lounge! 5328! Have it much of finals week.

Geek Eat! Sushi! And non sushi! Probably New Dumpling House.

Mascaraed Ball! Bring fancy clothes back from home!

T-shirts! Submit t-shirt ideas!

Booth meeting! 4:30 on Friday! Will post a room on bboard. Carnival bboard, use it.


Shawn has Final at 8:30. Was like "aaaaaah". Professor was like "Going to give you a formula sheet. Doing ok on HW right? Final is going to be easier on the HW? 10 hours for HW, only 3 for final. Within a point of "not show up for a final, still get a c". So is going to graduate.

Frame show on friday, 7 to midnight.

Saturday! Marathon Firefly!

Ask Liz's sister about bruises.