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Officer Reports

                       Weekend! Boooooth!
                       Pun: "stuck like a porn farce"
                       It has been a year, and I will no longer be a president in like an hour
                       I did two booths and a buggy!
                       Made of bruises and slept until 3
                       No new people, excellent
                       Events! - bake barter and useless stuff
                       Finished watching the first season of the Wire
                       Is sorry he will not be at KGB next year
                       Future 2veep: don't fuck up!
                       Only slept between 7am and 11am since wednesday - not a smart idea!
                       Pravda! there are two, one with actual platforms, one with "interpreted" platforms
                       submit to pravda
                       Booth - it was awesome
                       Smashed a pineapple with a crowbar
                       Winter is coming all over the underside of my laptop as I watched Game of Thrones
                       Booth! Booth! and more Booth!
                       Couldn't help with teardown because she was sick :(
                       This is the last time people will officially throw coins at her
                       Had a weekend - it was exhausting but excellent
                       Booth was awesome, we made a really awesome booth, is really proud of the KGB
                       We are a really awesome group of people

Committee Reports

       Booth committee would like to report SUCCESS!

Also $0 in fines

       Puzzlehunt is this saturday - register at mazeoftwistypassages.com
       Oh Shit What Have I done worries about making a report after elections

Old Business

       Jboning gets the thing - not knowing who to vote for is not his fault

New Business

       We purple.
       Elections! To be continued by the next Recording Secretary.


       At this point there is an interlude while twright doesn't take notes and the new recsec has not been elected.
       tbroman takes up the minutes after recsec elections.
       Treasurer candidates
               jcolmar: throw coins at me! I love the KGB!
               Shelby: I love money! It goes places and is stampable! 
                       The feel of coins hitting your body is surprisingly refreshing, and oh god, money! 
                       Please vote for me! Everyone's going to get $2 bills
               kharring: *pours coins on herself*
       kharring wins
       Sergeant at Arms candidates
               Xander: loves the KGB. Gets awws. Everyone in the KGB is the greatest person ever at CMU. 
                       You can only see his 3rd, 4th and 5th arms if you have second sight.
               lroop: didn't post a platform. Sorry, had a full week. 
                       Heart is in the work, but hand is not in the pockets. 		
                       Chalkboard erasers are more fun than weapons.
               Clyde: is batman. And batman. And a ninja. And a cowboy badass. Will maintain chaos^H^H^H^H^Horder. 
               Everything is awesome forever. Is good with stuff.
       Clyde wins
       We have a new exec!
       President: eforney (1st ballot)
       1veep: Bubbles (2nd ballot)
       2veep: tvaughan (2nd ballot)
       CorSec: mmeyerho (3rd ballot)
       RecSec: tbroman (2nd ballot)
       Treasurer: kharring (1st ballot)
       Sergeant at Arms: Clyde (2nd ballot)

       Some stories that were told during elections:
               Shelby was scarred as a young child by seeing Mr. Rogers in a speedo. He has no tattoos.
               Dan Kirby's cousin tried to pull down a tree with a truck. There is video.
               tbroman reads Bubbles a belated bedtime story (Jack and the Beanstalk, politically correct version)
               Quuxum has a story about immigration. Belfast, pregnancy, post-traumatic stress 
                       and I-assumed-you-were-dead-so-I-got-remarried-oops are involved.
               nsaphra tells about her dad stealing from a Black Panther lending library/mobile hospital unit.
               mbritton also has a dad, who hates hawks by the way. Story involves New York City, a suit, a laundromat,
                       thugs and police.
               cwooten had a terrible physics teacher her junior year. Then he died, and that's why she's going to hell.
               twright makes everyone start talking at once. dkirby finds him guilty of insanity.
               Arsenij has a story in which there is a badly dimensioned couch that earns him a key to the million dollar room.

New Business part 2

       Allocated $75 for Useless Stuff Auction
       Motion to kick Teki in the ass (but oops, it's still jboning)
       Motion to #define Teki eforney
       Motion to kick Teki in the ass
       Events: bake barter, useless stuff auction
               Bake barter can earn you tampons or crispy hexagons
       Motion to allocate $200 for exec discretionary fund (passes)


       PUZZLEHUNT! It's awesome! Saturday!
       USELESS STUFF AUCTION! It's awesome! It's Friday!
       BAKE BARTER! It'll be delicious in your mouth!


       We purple. 
       We gtfo.