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Officer Reports

               eforney is late
               had a weekend - studying, procrastinating
               event: bbq was fun
               #define SHITTY_HAMBURGERS pizza
               did 6 assignments in 24 hours
               spent $240 on pizza for the event
               EVENT: Mafia Night, meet at 5:30 on Wednesday
               had a weekend!
               Xander drew on her arm
               partied, played Game of Thrones
               made a Pravda?! Cute kittens! (and an emu)
               had a weekend. Event, paranoia which was not paranoid enough
               studying, laziness, packing
               has been here 2 semesters, wow
               bin Laden was killed--not something to be happy about, exactly
               has a 212 exam--waited to study, but then had a cold.
               is now present.
               Had a weekend.
               Was late due to stuff--her watch was slow?
               Had a weekend
               Tried to enter a game development contest
               Did lots of napping and Dr. Who

Committee Reports

       The Steelers Committee reports the Panthers (and Lions) suck so much they're not in the cat Pravda?
       The Ad Hoc North Hills Committee reports Pravda? is biased in favor of North Allegheny
       The Ad-Hoc Block Committee, in conjunction with the Don't Worry, It's for Science Committee, has been doing research. 
               Then it makes three funny jokes. 
       The misappropriated BSWolf Committee says wtf? What are you doing on my turf.
       The 251 Torture Committee reports gearing up for something (the final in a few minutes)
       The Commitee to Assassinate the President takes another whack at it, then reports exec can never watch its back.
       The Ad Hoc Pre-Death One-Liners Committee wants some help
       The misappropriated Matthew Feld Glisson Bodyguard Committee reports "wtf are you doing? You're on the wrong side!" to Glisson.
               (they had cookies, he says.)
       The Ad Hoc Is It Safe? Committee would like to ask the obvious question.
       The Time Travel Committee reports success on behalf of the 251 Torture Committee
       The dbesse Sounds Kind of Like JFK When He Gives His Reports Committee reports that the bullets are not magic enough.
       The Ad Hoc Laugh at England Committee reports who's going to remember your wedding?
       The Committee for Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment, with the Guild of Calamitous Intent, has a report: 
               bad guy theme song--"the discordian"
       The Super Commitee reports tvaughan has been doing awesome as 2veep. Keep up the good work.

Old Business

       jboning keeps the thing when he's not here again: not his fault is his own narcolepsy

New Business

       Create Emily Forney Memorial Bodyguard Committee to infiltrate her closest circle and pop a cap in her ass
               purpose changed to ..."closest circle"... (i.e. quotes added)
               roll call vote motion--denied, appealed, denied
       Create "Fuck You and Your Roll Call Votes Committee" to make sure there are no roll call votes
               Name changed to the Michael J. Sullivan Memorial Committee
               Dennis is appended
               passed as The Michael J. Sullivan Memorial Committee, with purpose "to make sure there are no roll call votes."
               sold for $9 to twright - DISBANDED
       Create  The *shotgun pump-action noise* Committee to "cool action movie shit and stuff"
               Create Out of Order Committee, out of order
               Bubbles kicks over a chair
               A report is requested from the Big Rubber Ball Committee.
                       It likes the name of this committee.
               A report is requested from the Bubblesaurus Committee.
                       Bubbles acts like a Bubblesaurus.
               A report is requested from the Committee for Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment to provide heavy metal backing
                       It provides inappropriate backing instead.
               sold for $2 to dkirby - chairs him and Clyde
       Create Witty One-Liners About Current Events Committee to You got a wedding? I got a funeral.
               sorry it took so long to get you a copy of my birth certificate, I was too busy killing Osama bin Laden.
               other clever things said
               abstained (passed)
               sold for $1 to memcginn - chairs him and other witty people
       Create committee to append Dennis (as stated)
               dmeng: the fuck?
               Dennis is appended
               obvious exits are north, south, east and Dennis
               the Dennis in the text adventure is not dmeng
               Dennis is appended to the Dennis-is-amended--no. Just no.
               Dennis is "appended."
               sold for $8 to mbritton - chairs him and anybody who ever segfaulted appending Dennis
       Create KGB OMGASM committee, to restore our status as CMU campus' lovable pranksters
               2015 freshmen think we prank people, so we should.
               jgg: We WERE going to do pranks, I promise!
               Clarification: it stands for Operation: Mindfuck - Golden Apple Seed Missions
               motion to append Dennis - failed
               our last big prank was to "kidnap" a girl from a tour. (We got shit for it from campus)
               The Committee to get back at Pitt for Stealing the Fence still has to get back at Pitt, via pranks.
                               Reminder: Your actions are not endorsed by the KGB as an organization.Obelisks were made on CFA pillars.
               wheelchair, duct tape and walking to the sky?
               sold for $6 to mbritton - chair him
       point of parliamentary inquiry about the pfennig of pfault--how to change it?


       EVENT! Mafia night! Bring cash! Dress classy! The soonest Wednesday!
       Dues! Pay them! But not now!


       Lasertag! Friday night!
       Good luck on exams tonight.
       If any member of KGB wants to do Buggy, join Pioneers!
       If you're around this summer, tell Glisson!
       Shelby had a dream about drawing Mohammed on the board for "everybody draw Mohammed day"
       Dr. Who: DH1212, 10AM, Saturday
       Everyone edit the wiki!
       we purple
       we gtfo