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Officer Reports

       Had a break!
       was in Russia (St. Petersburg)
       did not get arrested by the KGB
       Kiltie is cancelled today
       Had a break!
       stayed here
       screwed around, watched all 3 Lord of the Rings Extended Editions (not in 1 day)
       also watched a lot of basketball because he likes sports
       KGB sweet 16: Shenanigans wins
       it was hard to do work once people got back
       Had a break!
       Went to Houston, TX, where it was hot and muggy and gross
       went to Galveston, TX, where there was the sea, and was in the sea
       misses the sea
       event! Find the Event! PH A18, 7pm Friday
       Had a break!
       took a bus home
       learned that Google Maps has the Greyhound bus station location wrong
       went home, sat in room on computer
       came back to campus and cleaned
       has now beat out rugs and watched dust fly
       learned that she knows how to make crepes
       has a Pravda?!
       Had a break!
       Watched Doctor Who, a lot - majority of waking hours spent watching Doctor Who?
       his friends at CMU are taller than his friends at home
       today: found out around 1 that grant application for summer internship was due today; finished application in 40 minutes.
           found out in class around 2:30 that homework for that class was due at 4; finished homework at 3:45. Thanks Al for telling him about 

it and Xander for being experiment subject.

       Had a break!
       flew back to NJ - was planning to spend break there
       on Friday, got a phone call: hey, wanna come to Florida with DTD?
           flew to Florida, got sunburned
           looks very ap-peel-ing (saved that joke for like 3 days)
       did no work because fuck work
       Had a break!
       shenanigans - got lost in New York City twice
       was able to handle the subways just fine
       got a riot shield - didn't know the screws were wrong on the handles
       you're not supposed to use a knife as a scraping or prying tool - stabbed self in hand, oops
           solicited first aid advice on #cslounge
           still has feeling in hand

Committee Reports

   The Dan Kirby Nightmare in Dreamland Committee (Marlena) reports: Dan is very upset because he's not here, but had a really weird dream
   ITR Committee reports: ITR this weekend! Wean 4 couches, Saturday 10pm as usual.
   The ad-hoc MIT Rejects Committee (dmeng) welcomes its newest member
   The Time Travel Committee (memcginn) reports moderate success the speed limit of the universe is c
   The Time Police (Oren) respectfully reminds the Time Travel Committee to not report in front of it
   The Booth Committee (Bubbles) resports: 4 weeks til Carnival!
       come to build sessions! Wednesdays at 7, Saturdays at 12 in the Kage
       t-shirts: wanna design a booth t-shirt? Let booth chairs know! kgbbooth@gmail.com
   The misappropriated Dan Kirby is So Full of Himself Committee (jzimmerm) reports: he knows we all miss him and he misses us too
   Nominations Committee reports; nominations are made
   The Paper Air Force Committee (pcd) reports success
   The Dan Kirby Nightmare in Dreamland Committee (jzimmerm/Oren) reports: last night Dan had a dream where CMU is in southern CA. Walked into a girl's 

room with a loaded gun; oops wrong room

       cliff kind of looks like it was made in minecraft
       cliff was featured in a ad for North Korea
   The ad-hoc Paper Alliance Navy (dmeng) challenges something
   The Fortune-Telling Fish Committee (Avi) responds to the Dan Kirby Nightmare in Dreamland Committee: this is actually a dead-on account of next 


   The ad-hoc Priorities Committee (tbroman) reports: Dan Kirby is too busy to be here today, but had time to write a lengthy email describing his dream 

to us.

   The Repeat That in Song Committee (Oren) requests from the Dan Kirby Nightmare in Dreamland Committee -- no, never mind

Old Business

   mbritton gives the Thing to ccolombo. not her fault: water gun wars

New Business

   create the Sad Face Food Committee (Marlena) to mourn the loss of home cooking after Spring Break
       memcginn: motion to change the purpose to "chocolate chocolate more chocolate" - friendly
       Avi: motion to change the purpose to "frownies" - friendly
       ccolombo: it's Easter season!
       Appel: the Committee to Cover Other Fruits in Chocolate approves
       pcd: the ad-hoc Committee to Cover Exec in Chocolate approves
       egarbade: bacon matzo pizza
       Xander: the Committee to Ensconce the Treasurer in Joint Compound approves
       tvaughan: the Evil Seafood League and the Don't Worry, It's for Science Committee are very close to a chocolifying ray
       Oren: Evood Q. Seafvil is avilable for notarization
       memcginn: the Repeat That in Song Committee disapproves
       tbroman: motion to create the Inception Committee (out of order)
       kharring: sounds like this committee would salt its food with its tears
       vote: passes with purpose "frownies"
       sold $1 memcginn, chairs anybody who associates sad with food
   create the Taller Than eforney Committee to *head on eforney's chin*
       *people are now standing around being taller than eforney*
       *eforney's little and eforney's little's little stand*
       dmeng: asks acrichto, "where's Minh?"
       twright: the Low-Quality Racism Committee says, it's so like a Cincinnatian to be short
       sacunnin: motion to change the name of the committee to the Everybody's Taller than Shannon Committee - friendly
       dmeng: motion to append to the purpose (oh by the way I'm squatting) - friendly
       kharring: in booth we have a height chart; Jackie is the shortest
       we purple
       My Little Pony is shorter
       jzimmerm: point of information: tbroman is going to get upset because this isn't a point of information
       point of order: 1 2 3 5 4
       vote: passes as the Everybody's Taller than Shannon Committee with purpose *head on eforney's chin* (oh by the way I'm squatting)
       sold $5 afalk, chairs everybody who is taller than shannon
   create the Pasta Knight Committee to pasta knight
       tbroman: motion to prepend a k to "knight" in the name and purpose - friendly
       the Low-Quality Racism Committee asks: can we prepend another k? - dilatory
       eforney: the ad-hoc National Pasta Day Committee tells a story about burnt pasta
       ccolombo: the His Noodly Appendage Committee reports: you're doing it wrong
       sacunnin: if you're a pasta knight you can use your sword to break the bubbles
       dmeng: the ad-hoc Pot Boiling Over Committee reports: we've managed to boil over 3 times while boiling on low heat
       sacunnin: how does this committee feel about rice? (unknown)
       Oren: motion to append to the purpose ladle jousting - friendly
       tvaughan: please keep your heart and other appendages out of the work while the work is in motion
       mbritton: the Evil Seafood League opposes the concept of a Pasta Knight
       Marlena: how does this committee feel about the Tin Woodsman from the Wizard of Oz?
           tvaughan: "I heard Tim, hi!"
       vote: passes as the Pasta Kknight Committee with purpose pasta kknight; ladle jousting
       sold $4 mmeyerho, chairs everyone who likes pasta
   create the Fight in the Shade Committee (cshaffer) to *holds riot shield above head*
       Bubbles: that's not how shade works
       memcginn: motion to change Clyde's shield to be opaque - friendly
       dmeng: motion to change "shade" in the name of the committee to "Shaffer" - friendly
       afalk: we will enter Clyde's bloodstream and fight there
       rglenn: Clyde-shaped holes
       vote: passes as the Fight in the Shaffer Committee to *holds opaque riot shield above head*
       sold $1 memcginn, chairs everybody who is a secret superhero
   create the Everybody is Shorter than Me on Alex Crichton's Shoulders Committee (kharring) to *Kelly gets on Alex's shoulders*
       did this in the hallway outside the Kage...
       dmeng: what about Kelly on Ivan's shoulders?
       tbroman: what if Alex Crichton reports from this committee?
       Xander: what if we stack Ivan on rntz?
       egarbade: KGB Film Club is very interested in this committee
       Oren: motion to change the purpose of the committee to "everyone is still taller than Shannon on top of eforney's shoulders - appended
       Bubbles: this one time freshman year, 4 of us tried to get on rocketmatt's shoulders at once (no, sophomore year) - bottom line, it didn't 


       vote: passes with purpose "*Kelly gets on Alex's shoulders*; everyone is still taller than Shannon on top of eforney's shoulders"
       sold $8 twright, chairs: everybody except Kelly
   create the Planned Obsolescence Committee (tbroman) to report on May 7th, 2012
       dmeng: I thought Doomsday was later...
       Bubbles: just because tbroman said something doesn't mean its smart
       sacunnin: the misappropriated Time Travel Committee reports ehhhhhh
       memcginn: they just don't make execs like they used to, they only last 1 year now
       sacunnin: umbrellas
       egladdin: the misappropriated Fortune-Telling Fish Committee reports: this is what it starts with, you fools!
       dmeng: you fools I'll destroy you all: you missed 4 words
       vote: passes
       sold $11 egarbade, DISBANDED
   create the This Committee Will Pass Committee - no second
   create the Out of Order Committee - no
   create the KGB Type Theory Committee to assign types to KGB committees and generalize McGinnis' observations
       egladdin: motion to change the name to the KGB Typeface Committee - unfriendly
       amckinni: motion to change the purpose to "to code the KGB in SML" - friendly
       jcolmar: motion to append "Myers-Briggs" to the purpose - friendly
       ccolombo: how many people here are INTJs?
       Oren: motion to change the purpose to "assigning Pokemon element types to KGB members" - appended (Oren)
       mbritton: I'm fuckin' metal!
       egladdin: how flaming do I have to be to be considered a fire type?
           (Bubbles demonstrates how flaming)
       vote: passes with the purpose "to code the KGB in SML; Myers-Briggs; assigning Pokemon element types to KGB members"
       sold $2 jzimmerm, chairs anyone who has any knowledge of type theory or has taken 150
   allocate $50 for event - it's a good idea
   create the Sequitur Committee to follow
       eforney: the Sum Ess Ess Sumas Estes Sum Committee reports: Romans put "follow me" on shoes: prostitutes
       mbritton: Nonsequiturium reports: one time I found myself driving across the country..
       tvaughan: Nonsequiturium reports:  this one time we were looking for Cheesecake Factory, and then it wasn't Cheesecake Factory, it was a 

corner in a shady neighborhood...

           and oh did you see that thing on the news yesterday
       ccolombo: so this one time I was walking down the street--wait that wasn't me
       Oren: avocado
       cshaffer: do you ever, like, look at your hands?
       egarbade: why is kgb suddenly on drugs?
       anbrown: dude, there must have been something in that committee or something...
       sacunnin: dammit guys stop doing drugs on my committees
       vote: passes
       sold $2 afalk, chairs DISBANDED


   EVENT! Find the EVent!
   Booth! we have art and other stuff we need to do! 7-9ish in the Kage on Wednesday, 12-whenever on Saturday
       also t-shirt designs


   The Most Dangerous Game is back! It's basically Assassins. Email tbroman if interested; check the Facebook group.
   bcwade: amq and bcwade are running for student body president and vice president. Talk to them if interested in campaigning, vote 3/30-4/1
   Vis: tartan debates are next monday at 5:30
   mmeyerho: ITR games this Saturday
   cclub is having retro gaming night at 9 in the UC on Friday
   we GTFO