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Officer Reports:

Bubbles: had a weekend. Started with useless stuff. Bake barter was awesome due to jcolmar pole dancing with a horsehead. Did not buy a book of German torture (schnitzel) methods at the auction. Went booth bowling and reinforced his physical awkwardness. Cards against humanity was full of awful tendencies. We returned out hard hats and were the second org to have all our hard hats in.

Tvaughan: Ran his 3nd to last session of D&D campaing invoving a red dragon and an evil ef king. Looked at horrible apartments and hopes he can find a place last year. Called eforney a lying skank.

Tbroman: had a weekend. It was long and started off sucky because he failed a test. BB and USA were fun. Bought some stuff and now owes the KGB ~$50. Went to Google games and finished second. As a result, he has a lava lamp and spent most of Sunday looking at it.

We have an event! LDOC Picnic! Meet at the black chairs at 6 on Friday if it is nice. Otherwise, check the bboard. We have another event! Mafia night and all that stuff! Meet on Wednesday May 9, at 6 PM at the black chairs.

Margaret: Had a weekend. There was USA, got things for diabolical plans. There was Saturday built triangles for DS. Non structural triangles. Angles suck. There was also dance practice. The show will be awesome. There will be one more Pravda before the end of the year. SUBMIT TO PRAVDA

Xander: Had a weekend. Involed the Useless Stuff auction where he had a brief stint as a final fantasy character. Got some welding done on Saturday and cell bio studying if you consider watching Farscape to be studying cell bio. Met up with his dad and brother and then actually studied cell bio on Sunday.

Kharring: Had a weekend. Did Google games on Saturday. Surprising that puzzlehunt staff are good at puzzles. Has a lavalamp. Reads a crime report about someone who gets mail from a convict.

Marlena: Had a weekend. Work in there somewhere, there was Useless Stuff Auction. Was outbit on most stuff but still got a knife. Anime happened instead of work. [Redacted] [Redacted] [Redacted] Rhofer [Redacted]

Old business:

Committees: Ad hoc committee to text the recsec reports failure as they don’t have Xander’s number

Committee to test the recsec does something. I ignore them. Because fuck those guys.

The ad hoc text the recsec committee reports success

The ad hoc holy crap you guys committee: can someone give something (like a box) for all this change

Spoken lyrics committee is vulgar. Something about brutalized genetalia.

The committee for awkward and inappropriate musical accompaniment sings a nice song. Not sure what it was.

The committee to test the recsec + appropriations and other random committees are wankers. And should feel kind of ashamed. And are kind of justified, but again, fuck those guys.

The committee for awkward and inappropriate dance reports (awkward dance)

Japanese water torture committee reports failure in turning CTFWS into water temple CTFWS

The minimum bid committee: gave more monet to KGB than ever before in throwing change

Get people to come to readme committee reports 3 counts of success and you should all pick up a copy as Vis is on the front cover.

Misappropriated minimum bid committee reports failure at useless stuff auction

The Thing: Rachel and Dkirby have parts of the thing (spiritual and physical). Pcd now has the thing. Projects due the last week of classes are not his fault

New business:

Create the mnabraha committee.
Purpose: do do do do do mnabraha
twright: Jekyl hyde jekyl hide
Motion to discuss the history of the song being dirty? - dilatory
Pcd: Originated in an Italian porno
Marlena: change the purpose to having nothing to do with her. – no second
Twright objects to pcds description and gives a more accurate one
Tvaughan peanut butter jelly time!
Something about football.
Change purpose to everything to do with Marlena – fails
Passes as the Mnabraha committee with purpose: do do do do do Manabraha
$6 to ccolumbo
manah manah to chair

Create the super pack committee
Purpose: to vote with its wallet
It’s a good idea
Pcd: can my friends Ben Franklin and George Wahington convince you?
Albert: $5
Steven: Can my friend (Japanese president) convince you?
Would you be convinced by my friend the Sacagawea twins?
Eforney made a $5 to KGB through loyal scott. What does this get her? - Nothing
Tvaughan: Will my friend Chuck E. Cheese convince you?
Passes as the Super Pack committee with purpose to vote with your wallet
$6 to tvaughan
Tim and the board of directors chairs

Passive aggressive committee
Purpose: Well, I thought it was obvious
Tvaughan: I don’t want to be a downer or anything, but is this not the committee of the whole?
Dkirby: Not to be a downer or anything, but I made this last year
Eforney: Its ok that you did not call on me first. No. really.
James left a note on steven
Mcginnis: don’t want to be a downer… but something
Motion to change to active aggression- Friendly
Uncomfortably friendly committee approves
Change purpose to AAAARGGG - friendly
Ccolumbo: cispa
Assassinations approves
Kick teki in the ass
Second time in 25 hours twright has seen bubbles bent over crying
Passes as the Aggressive committee with the purpose AAAARRRRRGGGGG
$ 6 to steven

self fladulating squid committee
Purpose: Pretty much that
Tvaughan: I’ve been a bad bad squid
KGB rhythm committee approves
Change to self flatulating squid – fails
Change name to self fladulating congratulating squid – friendly
Changes purpose to good job- OW?
Can you repeat in Elmo voice and song? – No.
Bubbles wonders if there is power he can abuse?
Dr Strangeglove’s arm committee approves
Passes as the Self Fladulating Congratulating Squid Committee with the purpose good job- OW!
$2 to pcd
Pcd chairs

Committee to see Xander in more dresses
Purpose: Pretty much that
The yeah pretty much that committee approves
Point of information: is this the committee to see Xander in more dresses at the same time or just more dresses in general?
Ed owns 5 hours of his time…
Tap dancing Xander committee and the committee to make Xander wear a helmet approve
Change name to see exec in dresses - friendly
Change purpose to see xander in a dress – friendly
Kimonos are ok.
Passes as the Committee to see exec in more dresses with the purpose to see Xander in more dresses
$3 to rglenn
everyone who wants to see xander/exec in a dress chairs

Trex Tuesday
Purpose: Every time you remember trex Tuesday on a Tuesday, act like a trex in celebration
Change name to twright Tuesday - friendly
Chage the purpose to RAWR
Change the name to the Mr. Twright tuesday – fails
Append and speaking song lyrics - passes
Change the purpose to awkwardly growl song lyrics - passes
Report from spoken song lyrics. It is horrible.
Passes as the Twright Tuesday committee with the purpose to RAWR (act like a twright-y dinosaur) and to awkwardly growl song lyrics.
$4 to ccolumbo
everyone but twright chairs

make an allocation of $20 for the website
it’s a good idea

Create the arms race committee
Purpose: Protect the president
Change purpose to do handstand races – friendly
Append to the purpose with Michelle Obama – friendly
Change name to bear arms race committee – friendly
Purpose to do bear hand-stand races with Michelle Obama – friendly
Has the ever stopped us before committees (a lot of them) and committee to put a ball gag in sully’s mouth approves
Uncomfortably friendly committee approves
Passes as the Bear arms race committee with the purpose to do bear hand stand races with Michelle Obama
$2 Andrew McKinnie
chairs: everyone

Fird amendment:
Free speech and not have soldiers in your house
Chage to Protect your right not to have bears in the house - friendly
Change purpose to fjord with out the Iceland – friendly
Change name to threevth committee – fails
Passes as the fird amendment with the purpose to protect your right not to have bears in your house
$2 to Vis
everyone except exec chairs

hard to say committee
Purpose: big words are hard
test the recsec approves
twright: hguskadbhjjhwejk.sdvjk.svkl
append antidisestablishmentarianism and the ideas as well to the purpose – passes
Append to purpose: shut up Dan! - passes
Motion to purple – we are in purple
Passes as the hard to say committee with the purpose antidisestablishmentarianism (ideas and the word) and Shut up, Dan!
$2 pcd
Chairs: everyone who has difficulty saying words

Cthublic education
Purpose: (cthulu noises)
tvaughan: why not zoidberg
Motion to append Zoidberg (the word and the person) – friendly
Eforney – their eyes were withing cthulu
Twright – sayw what you will Ryleh has excellent graduation rates
appened the Ood - passes
Appened davy jones to the purpose - failed
Passes as the Cthublic education committee with the purpose Zoidberg (the word and the person) and the Ood
$2 to twright

make an allocation of $50 for the event
change to $150 for food for LDOC. No promises about hot dogs
It’s a good idea

Create ante eggsecutive committee
To become the ante eggesec
Shelby thinks it is a good idea because steven is her brother
Mcginnis likes because parlament is way more fun than US
Ccolombo is right in from of bubbles
Tvaugan thinks we should avoid them to avoid mutual annihilation.
Physics talk happens. I don’t listen.
Ad hoc illuminati disapproves
Motion to tollbooth blue
Kharring says he just upped the ante (from anti)
Change name to eggsecutive – friendly
If mcginnis eats pasta and anti pasta is he still hungry?
Passes as the Ante eggsecutive committee with the purpose to become the ante eggsec
$2 to eforney
anyone who is no longer on exec

Real relevant announcements:
LDOC! Come to black chairs at 6 on Friday if it is nice. It will be awesome.
Mafia night
Pay dues
Puzzlehunt meeting is at 9PM in PH on Wednesday.
UPA hours expire at the end of the year

Shmucks who like to mouth off:

We have only hazed one new member of exec

Scotch and soda is having a two performances go to scotch and soda online for more info.

Satudray may 12 there will be a Sherlock marathon

Apple is looking for someone to stay in his room on the summer

Kharring is trying to start a golfcart club on campus. Talk to her if interested

Molly will be here over the summer and wants to make haloween costumes

DS is having a performance on Saturday