From KGB Wiki
Broman had a weekend ACTUALLY had a weekend-no booth and no KGB event. Instead, he went to a formal. He's FREE! Suck it JRAM. Google games. Won some neat things by being good at things Google doesn't care about Has a lot of work to do
Caroline Had a weekend. It involved being purple.
JRAM Had a weekend! Useless stuff auction was good! Bought a keyboard Google Games was good! 3 of the 5 top teams had a member of KGB exec on them EVENT! LDoC Picnic, 5:30, black chairs, going to Farpark OTHER EVENT! Mafia Night on reading day. Meet at black chairs at 5:00. Show up on time! RSVP by email! Make sure he gets it by end of LDoC Picnic. Bring real cash dollars because splitting checks on credit cards sucks.
Marlena Had a weekend! Auctioned things for money and dollars and was mistaken for Ramona Flowers Saturday was the last aeronauts campaign :( Watched Three Musketeers afterwards, and it almost perfectly replicated the plot of the campaign. Sunday was a "work day": 5 hours were lost to climbing and driving around. Not a zombie!
Zora Had a weekend! The theme was "Productive but not productive enough" UPA, then actual job, then "work," then not doing work, then "doing work" (but the wrong work), then WORK.
Dillon Had a weekend! We sold things at USA, which makes him happy as treasurer. Fourth at Google games! Not enough to get prizes.... Sunday felt like Monday because WORK
Mike Had a weekend! Got the most useful thing at USA! Saturday was a black hole! Frisbee and pretending to do work. Built a mousetrap car
Committee to test rec sec would like remind our shiny new humanities major that most of the KGB is CS students. Puzzlehunt committee. People who want to staff should go to PH 19C at 4:30 on Wednesday. Motion to create out of order committee. OUT OF ORDER The Pasta Tonight Committee is excited for mafia night The Ad Hoc Pasta GNIGT committee would like to say: “you empty-headed wipers of other people's bottoms, I wave my private parts at your aunties.” Storytelling committee So you know the thing that says “4.29.12 never forget” on R7's fridge? been so much more than a year...but so much less it was blissful and naive how do you honor a national tragedy? we're lying to ourselves when we say things are back to normal it was a day like any other...who would expect the tragedy college students gathered in roselawn and needed FOOD. FAST. sandwich shop in Illinois--Jimmy Johns got popular fast in Charleston and expanded to the WORLD Jimmy John's tugged on the College students' hearts passed around a laptop and entered their sandwiches but when did they want them delivered? but the dropdown menu, at 9:00PM on a Sunday, reported "closed" The college students felt deeply cheated for the first time. There is no reversing that day, nor bringing back the lost sandwiches. We mustn't let the experience hold us down. April 29th, 2012. Never forget.
The Thing! Getting zombied is not Xander's fault.
Best state in the union committee: Illinois is the best state b/c jimmy johns Name change to best date all instances of Illinois changed to April 25 DENIED it was a reference to Miss Congeniality Change best to cheapest in title FAILED April 28 2012 appended to purpose Change all instances of April to bug mars DENIED Change April to Maypril DENIED question called PASSES. $2 to Thomas. Disbanded
The Soup Committee: Welcome to the 45th annual Loup de Soup. We have just returned to the tomato circuit and we are beginning the spilt pea....alsdkjgaalksdg Bubbles: this committee could only get more Oren if there was a bunch of Star Trek shit motion to change the accent to German only if appended (so, the purpose is now repeated twice in different accents) DONE change all instances of soup to soup or salad DENIED append to purpose the same thing again in an eastern European accent committee to test rec sec reports early success PASSES. $4 to Peter. Diana will chair.
Out of Order committee fails for lack of a second
The Shit I Lied About in the Tartan Committee: The Tartan is moving to Alaska Ethan: given takeover of PHI: everyone is required to take alcohol-based course every semester Xander: so like ochem 2? ABSTAINED. $3 to Drew. JRAM chairs.
The Oren and Absurdity hour: HOAC weeeeeeeeee A live barracuda has been appended. purpose changed to “I bet you were expecting something outlandish here” PASSES. $2 to Oren. Sir Thomas Edison and Oren will chair
The But It's Intuitive Committee: push well designed products on unwilling people Paywall prepended motion to torrent it instead you wouldn't download an iPhone, would you? Xander has been banned for 45 hours from CMU servers Change name and purpose to But It's In Two Pieces: to cause havoc Name Changed to It's Not In Two Pieces. Yet. PASSES $3 to Marlena. Thomas chairs.
Marlena and Oren Committee: they'll each choose half of purpose Name changed to the Oren and Marlena variety hour Name changed to Mandarin Orange Committee Marlena changes every other word of the purpose to “This. Is. Not. A. Drill.” Oren changes every other, other word to “AOOOUUHH” Purpose changed to the entire text of The Raven Phone case will go to the winner of the auction! Someone threw it at Marlena. all instances of quoth changed to said replaced all instances of Nevermore with Fuck You replace all instances Lenore with Bug Mars: DENIED replace every instance of a letter with prime index to bug mars: DENIED replaced all instances of the word raven to “writing desk” question called PASSES. $3 to Broman. Whoever owns the phone case will chair.
Victor Sage Speed Dial Committee: to ease calling of question question called PASSES. $2 to Drew. Every one in room chairs. Drew gets the Phone case
Motion to make allocation for $100 for this week's event. It needs to be more because burgers IT'S A GOOD IDEA
We aren't funding your doomsday plans, Xander.
Motion to make allocation not to exceed $10 to buy Stephen dinner IT'S A BAD IDEA replace all instances of Stephen with the Raven: failed Thomas: After ALL Stephen has given us…his blood, his sweat, his semen…doesn't he deserve dinner? Thomas is clearly using the royal “we.” The Napoleon J Bonaparte committee approves. question called FAILS
motion to, over the next few weeks, have each person who voted for the KGB to buy Stephen dinner actually buy him dinner
Acclamotion Committee: you gotta swing your hips now... acclamotion replaced with locomotion motion to remain in motion unless force acts upon it crazy train appended to purpose grand funk railroad (both band and railroad) appended to purpose append Thomas the Tank Engine theme song: FAILED Thomas the Tank Engine theme song mashup with BMX appended to purpose ~Arthur theme song interlude~ question called PASSES $2 to Thomas. Emily, Adam, Thomas, Al chair.
something committee: general purpose of KGB change purpose to installing windows, computer waste in general purpose to It's only five twenty! Append to purpose it's five o clock... somewhere McGinnis filibusters. Thanks. You made my job easy. Question called due to hunger. FAILS
Unnecessary and Uncomfortable Stream of Racial Slurs Committee NOPE
Alcoholist Committee: alcohology Champers (?) appended dkirby objects, committee is redundant with Pitt's existance alcohology changed to alcoholomy motion to obey law of equivalent exchange alcohology grad students will suffer drinking problems later in life...but not because of alcohology, because of grad school question called PASSES $15 to Drew. Drew and anyone who wants to will Chair
EVENTS! LDoC picnic! Black chairs at 5:30, Farpark at 6:00. NOT FLAGSTAFF. Mafia Night! Meet at black chairs at 5:00, RSVP to JRAM
Nerf war Saturday, 9:15 PM. Wean 7500 (the usual spot). Don't need your own Nerf guns. Puzzlehunt staff! 9:30 AM PH A19C. Please show up so they don't panic!
Purple and GTFO