From KGB Wiki
Broman had a summer spent it working for Explo, where they make and sell cheap cameras guy sat down on a bench, got an awkward picture on either side of the arch which was basically how his summer went came back to pittsburgh, got wisdom teeth taken out on vicodin RIGHT NOW
Caroline still having a summer worked in Erie during the week and stayed in Pittsburgh on the weekends Exec stuff contact us on fb exec meetings happen at the UC caffee (that room on the second floor near the elevators) Thursdays at 5:30 New People! (name, major, where from, uninteresting fact) Sophia, CS, Bay Area, CA, not a very interesting persom Charlotte, Biology, Southeast PA, has a cat Skye, MechE and BME, Washington, D.C., favorite color is blue Alex, CS, Long Island, is a CS major Dan, CS, Milwaukee, WI, also has another dog Rudina, ECE and BME, Kosovo, likes watching tv
JRAM had a summer spent his time being gainfully unemployed won a lot of games and trivia EVENT Potluck! Meet at 5:45 at the black chairs in the UC, then walk to Flagstaff Hill there will be frizbee, food, and drink upperclassmen should bring food, freshmen should just show up KGB provides drinks, don't bring drinks
Marlena had a summer spent days designing in a box and nights playing board games In the middle of a ten hour class day, and still has lots of energy this will not be the case later in the year PRAVDA?! there is one! in a COLLEGE folder! Pravda? is made of mostly user submitted content submit to firstname.lastname@example.org
Dillon had a summer guesses he worked a job, guesses he also made tshirts also did accounting, but that's not as fun
Zora had a summer Painted houses with their right arm fell off a bike proceeded to paint houses with their left arm
Mike had a summer worked in a bio lab with lots of minions killed most of the minions and poured cyanide down the drain
Tortellini Committee reports: Tortellini
Guild of Calamitous Intent reports: Overwhelming Success
Dickens Committee reports: [reads something], 1/5
Alcoholist Committee reports: The Spectacular Now: [reads a recipe, y'all can look it up]
V. S. Wolf Memorial Committee reports: What do you call a monkey wit a time bomb? A baBOOM!
Time Travel Committee: Would like to nominate tbroman for president
horsebooks Committee reports: mulch MULCH
Chicken Dance Committee reports: [presumably an Arrested Development reference?]
Don't Worry It's For Science Committee reports: that pain you'll be feeling in 2 hrs is normal, don't worry
Buggy Everyday Committee reports: Soon.
The Thing! Freshmen not finding class is not Skittles' fault.
Committee to Test the Memory of Exec: CHALLENGE! eforney: postpone until the first Monday in February, 2015? the challenge will go through either way objection: without the committe, how will we remember the committe in 2015? PASSED, committee postponed until the first Monday in February, 2015
Committee to Make Sure That the Test to Test the Memory of Exec [garble mumble]: to uphold the test of memory of exec The Can You Repeat That In Song Committee reports: Skittles: [singing] ~something something test~ motion to table FAILED motion to postpone until this February motion to set the date in February to the exec meeting (first thursday?) NOT FRIENDLY motion to pick any day in February FRIENDLY motion to use a computer to randomly to pick a day no eforney regrets setting precedent motion to the left we are now in purple motion to remain in motion whilst an outside force acts upon us PASSED, committee postponed until the first Monday in February, 2014
Sergents Secret Police Committee: please speak loudly and have interesting and animmated discussions so the people listening in on your conversations don't get board motion to change title to the Mike Woolford Secret Police Committee PASSED append to the purpose: and always carry a small stick PASSED change title to The Dread Lord mwoolfor's Secret Police Committee PASSED change "small stick" to "big stick" in purpose FAILED append bug mars to what out of order PASSED $3 to ethan. DISBANDED
Maximum Big Committee: prove that natural numbers have an upper bound anbrown: motion to disprove by lengthy proof on the board point of order: it's currently set to m for maximum, it should be set to w for wumbo MATH MATH MATH MATH MATH JACKS VAN SPORTS change all instances of "big" in the name and purpose to "bidness" PASSED change all instances of "natural" to "unnatural" FAILED motion to add 1 to the committee name in order to create a counter example eforney: how many is a brazilian? change all instances of Natural to Supernatural PASSED $5 to mcginnis, he chairs. Name and purpose now Maximum Bidness Committee: Prove that supernatural numbers have an upper bound
Save Exec From 251 Committee: NO
Military Awards and Titles Committee: for the duration of the current exec add Grand mwof to the Segeant at Arms title change grand to graham cracker FAILED change grand to bug mars FAILED jump the shark and change grand to bug mars egladdin: it was better in the first season FAILED it is a scientific fact that we are all bug mars PASSED $2 to drew, Oren will chair
Upkeep of Places That Don't Exist Committee: check on all new doors around campus (there are some new locks) change "upkeep" to "untap" in title PASSED change purpose to build a mountain on top of wean like that one guy in China PASSED change "untap" to "draw" in title FAILED change the title to the "Let's Fuck Over the Freshmen Committee" we'll say that failed aorenste: fun fact: if you go between the A and B basements of Mudge you'll find a place where reality is thin and you can experience interplanar travel Skittles will be perfectly honest, he still doesn't understand what buying more tangerines means It's an economic philosophy PASSED $3 to caroline: anybody who can tunnel will chair Name and purpose now Untap of Places That Don't Exist Committee: Build a mountain on top of Wean like that one guy in China
Name of This Committe: What it's purpose will be change title to name of this committe committee PASSED witty remark change purpose to purpose of this committee FAILED change title to Bill the Cat FAILED computer science joke violent objection (out of order) change "this" to "that" in the name and purpose PASSED append name of change of purpose to name nope unfunny statement motion to append to the purpose "and torture rec sec" PASSED ((joke's on you, suckers, I kept up with this one really well)) append "funny hats" to the purpose PASSED PASSED $2 to Alex, you will chair (you = tbroman) Name and purpose now Name of That Committee Committee: What it's purpose will be and torture the rec sec. Also appended: funny hats
KGB Rocks the 80s Committee: [short, failed keytar playing] keytars appended to purpose ccolombo: you can buy it... on itunes motion to don't start unbelieveing append crazy train to the purpose FRIENDLY mashup crazy train with purpose FRIENDLY motion to business up front of purpose, party in back friendly? motion to append [better keytar playing] to the purpose friendly $3 to JRAM, anyone currently holding keyboard or keytar will chair
Freshmen Awareness Committee: Educate Freshmen and Other New Members append "only after terribly confusing them" to the purpose PASSED Freshmen can at any time request a report from the What Are You Referencing Committee The response will most likely not be helpful append to purpose "and make freshmen aware of how unaware they are" PASSED motion to go back to the way middle school was where everything was sunshine and rainbows the Uncomfortably Friendly Committe approves wholeheartedly $6 to skittles, DISBANDED
Motion to make an allocation not exceeding $50 for next week's event PASSED
Hat committe: give KGB exec lice The Don't Worry It's For Science Committee approves change title to "exec plays a hat based roleplaying game [etc]": dilatory are we playing tf2 now? egladdin: CMU is a school themed hat simulator append "and study epidemiology" to purpose FAILED append "and study phrenology" to purpose FRIENDLY motion to append one hat to all of exec's heads SUCCESS $2 to Drew: DISBANDED
That Committee: portmanteaus of everything eforney: I portmantotally approve point of information: what is a gleef? A thing we write on the board at the first meeting of every year. That's all the information that Broman has. the Spontaneous Shark Pun Committee... is waiting JRAM: ...sorry, tiger PASSED $2 to Xander. DISBANDED
Misplaced Wisdom Committee: ensure exec doesn't go mad with opiates when Broman got his wisdom teeth out: eforney escorted him to and from the appointment He only did one funny thing, which was to point vehemently at a trashcan it said "are you high" Xander: at least you've still got your charisma teeth Skye was under the impression that all of exec and everyone here was on opiates anyway no; it's just Broman FAILED
Fetch Committee: NO STEVEN STOP TRYING TO MAKE FETCH HAPPEN
Precedent Committee: we shall see would it be in support of anti seconds? probably JRAM: what if we started selling heroin to members don't worry it's JUST during this committee change purpose to to "catch JRAM with narcotics" FRIENDLY change name to "the trolling committe" and the purpose to "breast cancer research" nope Skittles still doesn't know where JRAM got that bag of money... change title to "President Committee" FAILED eforney: "Gainfully Unemployed" [with dramatic airquotes] The Unneccesary Quotation Marks Committee reports: success PASSED $3 to Drew, all past and current residents of the Moon (except for JRAM) will chair Name and purpose now Precedent Committee: Catch JRAM with narcotics
EVENT! Potluck! Friday at 5:45 at the UC black chairs nonfreshmen should bring food! If you're bringing food, bring utensils to serve it with! Also, make an ingredients list for people with allergies! We have lots of allergies!
The website's been updated! Pravda?s are available for reading in full color There will possibly be event updates? We'll talk about that later There's an RSS feed! cmukgb.com
event next week! old people who want to tell stories: contact exec!
DUES $15/semester, $20/year you need to pay them in order to participate serious business voting for example, Booth, ammendments to the bylaws, and officer elections You also get a (usually $5) discount on t-shirts and stuff! Give your dollars to Dillon and give Zora your andrew ID and what you paid for
accomplished ballerinas in Pittsburgh should talk to Xander in the next few hours!
There's a movie showing on Flagstaff on Wednesday after sundown! Avengers this week! it's free! Upperclassmen can tell you where Flagstaff Hill is
talk to JRAM, Xander, and/or Broman about running puzzlehunt