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       had a weekend
       it began with the Underground Tour
           went around campus and told things that were true, no, really
       on Saturday there was some stuff, and then some work, and then some more stuff that night
       10 hrs after that had training for community standards boards
           serving on academic review boards
           could potentially be called on to judge cases about people tresspassing where they don't belong
       had a weekend
       Underground Tour!
       then shifting in and out of existance
       then taking it slow because she came down with a cold
       then some work today
           new people
               (name, major, origin, uninteresting fact)
               Rasaundra, math, Baltimore, is quiet
               Chris, ECE, San Fransisco, wears clothes
               Kelsey, Kingston PA, writing, also wears clothes
               Shoshana, BXA Music and Psych, Cleaveland, plays the oboe
               Evans, ECE, California, brown hair
               David, Mech E, Chicago, has spent majority of his life breathing
               Miranda, Art, Roosevelt Island NY, has all fingers and toes
       had a weekend
       went on the Underground Tour and that was fun
       did other things that were also fun
       then got caught in the maelstrom of homework and disease
           Get Board Get Carded
               7 pm, Friday, Porter A18*
               go, to avoid getting eaten by a Drew
       had a weekend
       the floor is suspiciously wet
       went on the Underground Tour and wore a top hat
           ran into things, because she forgot that top hats give you +1 feet
       got caught in maelstrom of work, though not disease
           realized half of work maybe was not necessary
           Bait and Switch edition
           each one is gonna have a theme so you'll submit stuff 'cause you have more ideas
           next week is Hocus Pocus edition
       had a weekend
       went on the Underground Tour, where they sprinted back and forth and yelled and sprinted and then lay down in the grass
       did work (but not enough work) on Saturday and Sunday
           this will be a theme
       had a weekend
       Didn't go on the Underground Tour because he went to Penn Apps
           didn't place top 3 but won lots of secondary awards
           wrote real time lecture service thing for professors
       has lots of work and is sick
       had a weekend
       got sick
       moped on the comfy couch a lot
       didn't do work on Saturday
       is still sick


   ad hoc Committee to Stalk Past Presidents: Jared got a job offer from google! Sooooo maybe he'll be back?
   The Daniel John Kirby is So Full Of Himself Committee: also Underground Tour'd and was told to speak up...which has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE
   ad hoc Committee for Continuing Traditions I've Never Heard Of: Skye is getting baggers and is open to confuse a bagger
       Confuse a Bagger is a story we didn't tell on the Underground Tour this year, but it's worth telling
           (because it's hilarious)
   ad hoc Rats on Venetian Trade Ships Committee: success
   The Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7 and a bunch of other shit and the Spoken Song Lyrics Committee: sexy dj, etc.
       Party at R7 on Saturday at 9:00 PM!
   ad hoc Oh No Booth! Committee: CMU might build a Tepper building in the Morewood parking lot?
       Apparently they might move booth to the Cut
   Assassins Committee: fuck you
   The Protracted Exploration of Pittsburgh Committee: 2 counts of success and one count of inferred success
   possibly ad hoc, possibly misappropriated CMU Hates Grass Committee: Booth on Cut? Interesting...
   Alcoholist Committee: endorses the chocotaco milkshake
   Derpy Crane Committee: derpy crane
   misappropriated Cullinary R&D Committee: failure and tears
       the mead?
           no, that worked great
   Time Travel Committee: would like to nominate Glisson for President
   Storytelling Committee: CMU is hard.
       Y'all are smart. Everyone is smart. It's challenging!
       It's okay to ask for help--everyone here does, and no one will think less of you.
       There are lots of resources! Including us!
       Talk to us, we're friendly.
       CMU is hard, feel free to ask for help if you need it.
   ad hoc This Will Make Sense Later Committee: soon
   Airship Piracy Committee: reports
   Marionnette Committee: the floor is lava
   Floor is Lava Committee: success
   ad hoc Derpy Origami Heart Committee: reports


   the Thing
       getting a cold not Caroline's fault


   Sliding Innuendos Committee: trombones and sackbuts
       sackbuts are Renaissance trombones
       Charlie Brown Committee: Wo wahwowah wo wahwowah
       now we know what a sackbut is
       change all instances of sack to snack
       change all instances of sackbut to bugmars
       change all instances of but to butmars
       change all instances of but to fanny
       lookit dat ass
       hats n kitties, hats hats n kitties
       $2 to Drew, tromboners will chair!
       Title and purpose now: Sliding Innuendos Committee: Trombones and Sackbutmars
   684th Beating of a Dead Horse: change the names and purposes of committees
       change all instances of 684 to 685
       change all words and numbers with bugmars
           passes, but that doesn't make sense, so no
       change "dead horse" to "mostly dead horse"
           that's torture, are you sure (yes)
       change "685" to "686"
       change "horse" to "donkey"
       change "dead" to "dan"
       append a "w" before "horse"
           nope, that would actually be prepending
       prepend a "w" before "horse"
       $2 to Drew, anyone able to increment will chair
       Name and purpose now: "686th Beating of a Mostly Dan Horse Committee: To change the names and purposes of committeees"
   Motion to Cremate the Grandmother Committee: everyone messes up with their speech sometimes
       change purpose to freudian slips
       Monty Python Committee: I'm not dead yet
       ad hoc Committee with the Guy Pushing the Cart: well you will be, and he's not coming around again 'til next tuesday.
       $1 to Mcginnis, anyone who's ever sold a grandma will chair
   Committe to Snipe Your High Five: hey rglenn high five
       the Fistbump R&D Committee approves
       change action in purpose to hair smoothing
       motion to touch eforney's hand
           and that's how we all get disease
       ad hoc Drew's Driving Committee: guyssss I'm trying to drive
       $3 to Marlena, whoever sniped the last high five will chair
   Committee to Determine What Woodland Creatures Utter: to discover ~what the fuck's sake~
       what kind of elephant says toot?
       ((I don't know what happened here, google the video or something))
       ad hoc My Family Does Things That I Do and It's Kind Of Weird Committee: Marlena's aunt sent this to her entire family, including her grandmother, which is not her grandmother's cup of tea, apparently
       the fox obviously communicates in or, or, or, or, ors
       ad hoc Committee to Dedisnify the Fox and the Hound approves
       $2 to drew (twoingliss), eforney will chair
   Plague Hats Committee: [give a hat] and also warn people about the horrors of head lice
       lookin' at you JRAM
       change to name to "brain slug committee":
       change all instances of "head lice" to "dread lice"
       change instances of "dread lice" to "dreads lice"
       change instances of "dread" to "judge dread"
       change all instances of "hat" to "headwear" in purpose:
       you get a hat if you buy the committee
       $5 to Maija, people who are wearing a hat or have had headlice due to to the KGB's actions in the past will chair
   Thoughtful KGB Committee: only pass committees we think are worth buying and not just listen to our facist dictator and do the first thing he says
       change purpose to "do what our dictator says"
       change all words in the name and purpose to "Tim Broman"
       motion to instate Xander as dictator
           broman has the armies
       Sliding Innuendos Committee: hee hee dictator
       change all instances of "Tim" to "Timmy"
       change all instances of "Bro" to "Brobro"
       change all instances of "Broman" to "Bromance"
       change all instances of "Broman" to "Turner"
       change all instances of "Broman" to "Brotherman"
       change all instances of "Brotherman" to "nananananananana nananananananana FRATMAN"
       change all instances of "man" to "manman"
       change all instances of "man" to "man or woman"
       change all tim to the tim
       include middle name (robert)
       change all robert to bobert
   We Did It! Committee: proclaim "We did it!" when we do any reletively mundane and easy tasks
       change all instances of "We did it!" to "BOW BEFORE ME, PEASANTS."
       change all instances of "me" to "us"
       change name and purpose to "Make a Cheese Pizza Committee: make a cheeze pizza"
       change all instances of "peasant" to "pheasant":
       change all instances of "bow" (/baʊ/) to "bow" (/boʊ/):
       change all instances of "pheasant" to "presence"
       change all instances of "BOW BEFORE ME, PHEASANTS." to "KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!"
       change name and purpose to the "Youthful Amnesia Committee: I have no idea what I'm doing or what I've done"
       append Kelly's memory to purpose so she can remember what's going on
       motion to change the purpose because dan thinks everything's friendly
       Overly Friendly Committee: success
       $2 to dkirby, everyone friendly will chair
       Name and purpose now: "Youthful Amnesia Committee: Y'all gave me permission to change the purpose soooooooo sackbut"
   This Will Make Sense Later Committee: to have been reported the day it will be created later
       you took too long, now youre committee's gone
       Time Police Committee: you've been charged a fine of 3 years
       $3 to afrieder, everyone will chair


       Get Board Get Carded
       Friday at 7:00 PM in Porter A18*
       bring board games, bring card games, bring drew
   pay your dues!
       $15 for semester, $20 for year
       you get voting rights on important stuff and discounts on tshirts


   we are now in purple
   R7 party!
       Saturday at 9:00 PM at Roselawn 7
       over there by the Hill
   frisbee on Friday before event??
   Dan is thinking of doing a thing with the Borg episodes of Star Trek
       Like the Klingon thing he did last year
       where they watched a bunch of episodes and then the movie
   Come to the hole in the vacant lot behind the Ralph's
       ((I think the translation is that Xander wants you to listen to Nightvale))
       ((Or he's found a Ralph's somewhere in Pittsburgh that he likes to hang out at and he's lonely))
       ((Either way it's probably in your best interest to avoid the potentially imaginary Ralph's))
   pick up your paper!

purple and get food