From KGB Wiki
Broman had a weekend it began with the Underground Tour went around campus and told things that were true, no, really on Saturday there was some stuff, and then some work, and then some more stuff that night 10 hrs after that had training for community standards boards serving on academic review boards could potentially be called on to judge cases about people tresspassing where they don't belong
Caroline had a weekend Underground Tour! then shifting in and out of existance then taking it slow because she came down with a cold then some work today new people (name, major, origin, uninteresting fact) Rasaundra, math, Baltimore, is quiet Chris, ECE, San Fransisco, wears clothes Kelsey, Kingston PA, writing, also wears clothes Shoshana, BXA Music and Psych, Cleaveland, plays the oboe Evans, ECE, California, brown hair David, Mech E, Chicago, has spent majority of his life breathing Miranda, Art, Roosevelt Island NY, has all fingers and toes
JRAM had a weekend went on the Underground Tour and that was fun did other things that were also fun then got caught in the maelstrom of homework and disease EVENT! Get Board Get Carded 7 pm, Friday, Porter A18* go, to avoid getting eaten by a Drew
Marlena had a weekend the floor is suspiciously wet went on the Underground Tour and wore a top hat ran into things, because she forgot that top hats give you +1 feet got caught in maelstrom of work, though not disease realized half of work maybe was not necessary PRAVDA?! Bait and Switch edition each one is gonna have a theme so you'll submit stuff 'cause you have more ideas next week is Hocus Pocus edition
Zora had a weekend went on the Underground Tour, where they sprinted back and forth and yelled and sprinted and then lay down in the grass did work (but not enough work) on Saturday and Sunday this will be a theme
Dillon had a weekend Didn't go on the Underground Tour because he went to Penn Apps didn't place top 3 but won lots of secondary awards wrote real time lecture service thing for professors has lots of work and is sick
Mike had a weekend got sick moped on the comfy couch a lot didn't do work on Saturday is still sick
ad hoc Committee to Stalk Past Presidents: Jared got a job offer from google! Sooooo maybe he'll be back? The Daniel John Kirby is So Full Of Himself Committee: also Underground Tour'd and was told to speak up...which has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE ad hoc Committee for Continuing Traditions I've Never Heard Of: Skye is getting baggers and is open to confuse a bagger Confuse a Bagger is a story we didn't tell on the Underground Tour this year, but it's worth telling (because it's hilarious) ad hoc Rats on Venetian Trade Ships Committee: success The Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7 and a bunch of other shit and the Spoken Song Lyrics Committee: sexy dj, etc. Party at R7 on Saturday at 9:00 PM! ad hoc Oh No Booth! Committee: CMU might build a Tepper building in the Morewood parking lot? Apparently they might move booth to the Cut Assassins Committee: fuck you The Protracted Exploration of Pittsburgh Committee: 2 counts of success and one count of inferred success possibly ad hoc, possibly misappropriated CMU Hates Grass Committee: Booth on Cut? Interesting... Alcoholist Committee: endorses the chocotaco milkshake Derpy Crane Committee: derpy crane misappropriated Cullinary R&D Committee: failure and tears the mead? no, that worked great Time Travel Committee: would like to nominate Glisson for President Storytelling Committee: CMU is hard. Y'all are smart. Everyone is smart. It's challenging! It's okay to ask for help--everyone here does, and no one will think less of you. There are lots of resources! Including us! Talk to us, we're friendly. CMU is hard, feel free to ask for help if you need it. ad hoc This Will Make Sense Later Committee: soon Airship Piracy Committee: reports Marionnette Committee: the floor is lava Floor is Lava Committee: success ad hoc Derpy Origami Heart Committee: reports
the Thing getting a cold not Caroline's fault
Sliding Innuendos Committee: trombones and sackbuts sackbuts are Renaissance trombones Charlie Brown Committee: Wo wahwowah wo wahwowah sackbut now we know what a sackbut is change all instances of sack to snack FAILS change all instances of sackbut to bugmars FAILS change all instances of but to butmars PASSES change all instances of but to fanny FAILS lookit dat ass hats n kitties, hats hats n kitties PASSES $2 to Drew, tromboners will chair! Title and purpose now: Sliding Innuendos Committee: Trombones and Sackbutmars
684th Beating of a Dead Horse: change the names and purposes of committees change all instances of 684 to 685 PASSES change all words and numbers with bugmars passes, but that doesn't make sense, so no change "dead horse" to "mostly dead horse" that's torture, are you sure (yes) PASSES change "685" to "686" PASSES change "horse" to "donkey" FAILS change "dead" to "dan" PASSES append a "w" before "horse" nope, that would actually be prepending prepend a "w" before "horse" dilatory PASSES $2 to Drew, anyone able to increment will chair Name and purpose now: "686th Beating of a Mostly Dan Horse Committee: To change the names and purposes of committeees"
Motion to Cremate the Grandmother Committee: everyone messes up with their speech sometimes change purpose to freudian slips PASSES Monty Python Committee: I'm not dead yet ad hoc Committee with the Guy Pushing the Cart: well you will be, and he's not coming around again 'til next tuesday. $1 to Mcginnis, anyone who's ever sold a grandma will chair
Committe to Snipe Your High Five: hey rglenn high five the Fistbump R&D Committee approves change action in purpose to hair smoothing FAILS motion to touch eforney's hand and that's how we all get disease ad hoc Drew's Driving Committee: guyssss I'm trying to drive sorry PASSES $3 to Marlena, whoever sniped the last high five will chair
Committee to Determine What Woodland Creatures Utter: to discover ~what the fuck's sake~ what kind of elephant says toot? ((I don't know what happened here, google the video or something)) tortellini ad hoc My Family Does Things That I Do and It's Kind Of Weird Committee: Marlena's aunt sent this to her entire family, including her grandmother, which is not her grandmother's cup of tea, apparently the fox obviously communicates in or, or, or, or, ors ad hoc Committee to Dedisnify the Fox and the Hound approves PASSES $2 to drew (twoingliss), eforney will chair
Plague Hats Committee: [give a hat] and also warn people about the horrors of head lice lookin' at you JRAM change to name to "brain slug committee": FAILS change all instances of "head lice" to "dread lice" PASSES change instances of "dread lice" to "dreads lice" FAILS change instances of "dread" to "judge dread" FAILS change all instances of "hat" to "headwear" in purpose: PASSES you get a hat if you buy the committee PASSES $5 to Maija, people who are wearing a hat or have had headlice due to to the KGB's actions in the past will chair
Thoughtful KGB Committee: only pass committees we think are worth buying and not just listen to our facist dictator and do the first thing he says change purpose to "do what our dictator says" FAILS change all words in the name and purpose to "Tim Broman" PASSES motion to instate Xander as dictator dilatory broman has the armies Sliding Innuendos Committee: hee hee dictator change all instances of "Tim" to "Timmy" dilatory change all instances of "Bro" to "Brobro" dilatory change all instances of "Broman" to "Bromance" dilatory change all instances of "Broman" to "Turner" FAILS change all instances of "Broman" to "Brotherman" PASSES change all instances of "Brotherman" to "nananananananana nananananananana FRATMAN" PASSES change all instances of "man" to "manman" no change all instances of "man" to "man or woman" PASSES change all tim to the tim PASSES include middle name (robert) PASSES change all robert to bobert PASSES FAILS
We Did It! Committee: proclaim "We did it!" when we do any reletively mundane and easy tasks change all instances of "We did it!" to "BOW BEFORE ME, PEASANTS." PASSES change all instances of "me" to "us" PASSES change name and purpose to "Make a Cheese Pizza Committee: make a cheeze pizza" dilatory change all instances of "peasant" to "pheasant": PASSES change all instances of "bow" (/baʊ/) to "bow" (/boʊ/): PASSES change all instances of "pheasant" to "presence" FAILS change all instances of "BOW BEFORE ME, PHEASANTS." to "KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!" PASSES change name and purpose to the "Youthful Amnesia Committee: I have no idea what I'm doing or what I've done" PASSES append Kelly's memory to purpose so she can remember what's going on PASSES motion to change the purpose because dan thinks everything's friendly PASSES Overly Friendly Committee: success PASSES $2 to dkirby, everyone friendly will chair Name and purpose now: "Youthful Amnesia Committee: Y'all gave me permission to change the purpose soooooooo sackbut"
This Will Make Sense Later Committee: to have been reported the day it will be created later you took too long, now youre committee's gone Time Police Committee: you've been charged a fine of 3 years $3 to afrieder, everyone will chair
EVENT! Get Board Get Carded Friday at 7:00 PM in Porter A18* bring board games, bring card games, bring drew
pay your dues! $15 for semester, $20 for year you get voting rights on important stuff and discounts on tshirts
we are now in purple
R7 party! Saturday at 9:00 PM at Roselawn 7 over there by the Hill
frisbee on Friday before event??
Dan is thinking of doing a thing with the Borg episodes of Star Trek Like the Klingon thing he did last year where they watched a bunch of episodes and then the movie
Come to the hole in the vacant lot behind the Ralph's etc ((I think the translation is that Xander wants you to listen to Nightvale)) ((Or he's found a Ralph's somewhere in Pittsburgh that he likes to hang out at and he's lonely)) ((Either way it's probably in your best interest to avoid the potentially imaginary Ralph's))
pick up your paper!
purple and get food