From KGB Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search


       had a weekend
       Running Jumping Climbing Trees, S'Mores, Mafia
           there were adventures with fire
           we almost burned some pizza boxes
               well, we actually did burn some pizza boxes, don't worry about it
       then a lot of work and not enough work happened at the same time
       apparently there's a goldman sachs info session at 6:00
           so they might be hovering outside ALL HOUR (there might be random people outside)
       had a weekend
       involved "helping" her sisters talk to other people and getting progressively more fancy
       Committee to Crossbreed Orgs reports success
       new people!
           Shashank, ECE (maybe CS?), from india (and new york), goes to CMU
       had a weekend
       Went to KGB Argues About the Semantics of Vanilla And Then Eats Chocolate
       did the puzzlehunt on Saturday
           came in third!
       10 hours of grading on Sunday, is about halfway done
           KGB Digs Its Own Grave
           Friday, 7:00, MM A14
       Had a weekend
       did lots of [redacted] with [redacted] and it was most excellently [redacted]
       had a weekend
       started with Running Jumping Climbing Trees, then s'mores, then Doctor Who
       then a day of hair dying and cookies and more Doctor Who
       and then WORK FOREVER
       had a weekend
       Went to Running Jumping Climbing Trees
           argued about lots of things
       Did the Puzzlehunt!
           overall really fun
       then just did work ALL OF SUNDAY
       had a weekend
       same as other execs on Friday
       dyed margaret's hair on Saturday
       didn't get enough work done on Sunday


   Guild of Calamitous Intent: declared war on the Evil Seafood League (and vice versa)
       point of information: does xander chair both?
   ad hoc Interp Essay Commitee: what I learned in boating school is
   Alcoholist Committee: went to Stacked, can now officially endorse the Bahama Mama
   ad hoc 1984 Committee: But the Guild of Calamitious Intent has always been at war.
   Committee to Teach You All Sign Language: happy fall everyone!
   the full host of committees about dkirby: this time next week, he will either have a job or be looking for a job
   ad hoc Illustrious Journalist Collective: A unicorn has been spotted in Frick Park.
       Local wildlife enthusiast and rare and used book collector Jeromy Heinz has reported sighting the magnificent beast when he was "Out in the park despos..discovering evi...den...ce of a unicorn!"
       He went on to say that any recently dug earth and ritual markings are due to the unicorn should not be touched or moved ever.
           Because unicorns are possessive. Of dirt. And ritual markings.
   ad hoc Real Analysis is Hell Committee: there are 32 questions on the homework
       they only had 6 last year
   ad hoc Too Long Stories: the new How I Met Your Mother premieres tonight
   ad hoc Shit I Saw In The Tartan Committee: some legitimately scary shit
   ad hoc There's An Outside? Committee: it's fall?
   Untap of Places that Don't Exist Committee: some of the doors on Doherty Hall B level are harder to open
       they're sticky
   ad hoc Reaver Prevention Committee: has some concern about the Tartan centerfold
   50 Shades of Xander Committee: we had a fly problem at the Moon, xander was in charge of dealing with it
       they may have a spider "opportunity" now
   KGB Goes Outside Committee: giant duck on Friday!
   ad hoc Speak Of The Devil And He Shall Come Committee: success
   ad hoc Illustrious Journalist Collective: Police have put out a missing persons report for Halbjorn Versk, owner of Unearthed Tomes, a used and rare book shop.
       A report was filed after the ship had been unexpectedly closed for three days,
           after which messages started appearing in blood written on the windows of the store saying "He took me into the woods. I am there still. It is too late for me but not for the rest of you. Find me. You do not have much time".
       In other news, people have been flocking to Frick Park to see the unicorn.
           Those that have returned were "underwhelmed" by the unicorn, and those have not have not been heard from.
   Hold Hands With The Devil And He Shall Come Committee: too soon
   misappropriated KGB Goes Outside Committee: dkirby went on a picnic, it was muddy


   The Thing!
       The demise of Happyville is not Stuart's fault.


   SCP Committee: a) document and contain things found by the Illustrious Journalist Collective, b) kill said journalists so the truth does not come out
       append copy docs from computer
       Oren made a self-referencial joke
       The Guild of Calamitous Intent and the Evil Seafood League both approve, then both disapprove to disagree with each other, and then flip flop a bit
           and then there was a war
           they're at a standstill now, but 6 people are dead
       Everyone's a Linguist Committee: success
       to quote Fox Mulder: Getting spooky?
       to quote any other fox: CHA CH CHA CH CHA CHA CHA 
       to quote Fox News: water is bad
       to quote Foxtrot: physics joke
       $3 to Marlena, she and anyone else who wants to be part of the governmental collective will chair
   Illustrious Journalist Collective: put eyes and ears where eyes and ears have never been and never will be again
       they make no mention of balls
       ad hoc Stealing eforney's Joke Committee: the trombone is connected to the, mouth bone
       Marlena has an extra toe (of course, it's not with her)
       ad hoc Musical Horror Movie Mashup Committee: the hills have eyes to the sounds of music
       the voices! they're now listening to you
       don't look at eforney in that tone of voice
           broman thought "tone of voice" was one word for YEARS when he was little
       are these strictly human eyes and ears?
           the Collective is an equal opportunity employer
       ad hoc Shit I Read in the Tartan Committee: Spank: 50 Shades of Parody
       change all instances of "eyes" to "eyes of corn"
       change "illustrious" to "illustrated"
       add "noses" to "eyes and ears" in purpose
       Overly Friendly Committee: massive failure
       have you ever really looked at unfathomable horrors? like, really looked?
       $5 to Xander, he will chair
   KGB Corrects Exec Committee:
   Barbarian Committee: to be immune to anything that committee [points to Xander] reports
       is this committee happy?
           it's still alive, so it doesn't really know
       motion to entomb Xander in his very own committee when he dies
       motion for committee to take a level in rogue
       motion to more clearly define that
           restated purpose with illust committee
       purpose changed to "immune to anything this committee reports"
       append "exept for vampires" to the purpose
       redact "this committee" from purpose
       so whenever "this committee" comes up on your monitor, take a black highlighter and cross it out
           a sharpie will also do just fine
       $5 to afrieder, anyone who doesn't want to listen to [REDACTED] will also chair
       The new purpose is: "to be immune to anything [REDACTED] reports except for vampires"
   Innovative Technologies Committee: to bring new and interesting technology to reasonable communist consumers like you
       will this support synergy and the use of the cloud?
           only if the cloud's on fire
       replace "the cloud" in minutes with "my butt"
           out of order
       Fistbump R&D Committee: approves
       Barbarian Committee: huh?
       this week, the committee intends to introduce jet fueled glasses: so we can all be Superman
       will this committee be able to produce black highlighters?
           you cannot get them on Amazon
       replace all reason with glory (in general)
           out of order
       our superficial design flaws outweigh the fundamental ones
       how many of the products rely on tech that gains energy from severed dog heads?
       white highlighters?
           info available in redacted folder
       motion for the committee to give free samples to all the people who vote in favor
       our product puts the "car" in carcinogen
       SCP Committee: if it starts blowing or talking, give us a call
       $8 to Mike, Dillon will chair
   Committee for Free Samples: make sure that the above committee will fulfill the specifications
       will serve Uranium brewed coffee in the next room in a few hours
       free skittles? for everyone
       That's What You Meant To Say Committee: success
           that committee doesn't exist
       Time Mafia: supports to get samples a free trial from our justice system
       ad hoc New Committe: oh wait no
       you are free to have these samples... for a small price
       change name to "Open Source Samples Committee"
       change name to "Open Source As A Bird Committee"
       supersonic limbo: pew pew pew pew pew
       $3 to afrieder, anyone who likes open source stuff will chair
   allocation to not exceed $50 for the event!
   Committee to Table the Chair: to bed the sofa and other furniture jokes
       does anyone want a wardrobe?
       does anyone want a witch?
       does anyone want to give dan a couch?
       caroline would like a lion
           to go with her wardrobe and witch
       change the name to "craigslist/furniture committee"
       how do you feel about futons?
       the Perks of Being a Twerkflower Committee: success
           (that's not a committeee)
       $2 to Drew, people who have excess furniture will chair
   Committee Against Humanity: add commentary to anything in the form of Cards Against Humanity cards
       Glen Beck being harried by buzzards
       the school trip was ruined once again by crystal meth
       Marlena would say that this is the beginning of a slipery slope, but by making this committee we've already hit rock bottom
       old people smell
       I drink to forget drinking alone
       Alcoholist Committee: you should join us!
       Harry Potter and the Chamber of Kittens!
       Harry Potter and the Chamber of Harry Potter Erotica
       Innovative Technologies Committee: working on a card that fills in the fist thing that comes to your head
       Harry Potter and the Chamber of Bitches
       Harry Potter and the Chamber of Police Brutality
       Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secretions
       Harry Potter and the Chamber of Oh God Oh God A Mind Reading Card Oh No
       Harry Potter and the Chamber of Dead Horses
       Harry Potter and the Chamber of Bronies
       $6 to eforney, she will chair and so will anyone else
   Alexander Orenstein Memorial Committee: it's never too early to get a start on this
       change purpose to "soon"
       is Xander a) working on dangerous stuff and b) planning to release it soon?
           isn't that vacuously true?
       change "Alexander" to "Xander"
       replace "Xander Orenstein" with "Xorer Anderstein"
       replace "Alexander" with "Ail Xander"
       motion to quantify committee over all Alexanders
       change all "Alexander" to "Xander"
       motion to change name to xander s orenstein
       misappropriated Precedent Committee: success
       $4 to Drew, everyone except Xander will chair
   Sitcommittee: provide laughtracks for the KGB
       change the name to "Romcommittee"
       point of info: it's no longer the 1980s, guys
       motion to make this meeting a very special episode
       Motion to make this meeting the Christmas special
       we all learned a valuable lesson today about friendship, caring, and not selling meth to school children
       motion to have a heartwarming moment
       motion to finally introduce the mother
       $4 to Stuart, he will chair


       KGB Digs Its Own Grave
       MM A14, 7:00, Friday
   pay dues!
       pay Dillon, then talk to Zora
       we'll vote next week
       theme announcement for all of carnival next week
       before monday's meeting you can submit ideas for our own theme
           we'll get something up on Friday
       real serious business!
           you have to have paid your dues to vote
           you can discuss without voting though
           it's a rollcall vote
   if you haven't paid for committees, PAY


       10:00 Saturday night at the Wean 4 couches
   2 members have started buggy not at Ethan's org
       go to Apex meetings!
   12-2 free food in Wiegand
       chili cookoff
   does anyone want a wardrobe?
   do you enjoy Star Trek?
       did the recent movies not feel late 80s early 90s enough?
       borg night on Saturday
   The Illustrious Journalist Collective has an electronic version coming to a Facebook group near you
   follow Christian after the meeting for a lot of spaghetti
   puzzlehunt signup
       teams of up to four

purple and gtfo