Minutes20142701

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OFFICER REPORTS

   Broman
       Had a weekend
       it's a good thing that his class before KGB is right upstairs, because it always lets out late
       also, KGB does not accept late work
           you may not have seen it, but it was on the syllabus, and late work will not be accepted
   James
       had a weekend
       promised he'd get his work done on Saturday, got set up with all his books
           and by the end of the day he had beaten Assassin's Creed 4
       set the tone for the rest of the weekend
       new people
           J, physics (currently) maybe switching to CS, Philadelphia area, usually wears almost always black
   JRAM
       had a weekend
       did a fair amount of work and grading
       saw the Pixies
       EVENT
           UPA
           Friday, 7:00, MM A14
           auction yourself off for 6 hours or bid on people
           please send us blurbs!
               exec@cmukgb.org
               maybe also send them to jrettere@andrew.cmu.edu to be sure
               sometimes we have email trouble
           useful things that you may be able to do:
               DMing, car, can computer, making things, drawing things, public performance, have limbs, not have limbs
               lots of other things
   Marlena
       had a weekend
       went to the ETC on Friday
           didn't move from that building for over 48 hours
           it was really fun and ended up kind of pretty!
           got maybe 10 hours of sleep over that time
       came home and felt reasonably awake
           slept for ten more hours
           and then hated everything
   Zora
       had a weekend
       Boothed! Successfully!
       Also cut off all Mike's hair
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       sat down with all his books
           proceeded to watch the first three seasons of Archer
   Mike
       had a weekend
       got violently ill on Friday after booth
       Saturday happened, sort of
       no longer has hair
           it's cold
           their hat is missing
       did all their other homework on Sunday, instead of the lab report that was the original goal

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   Committee To Teach You All Sign Language
       winter and very cold are almost the same symbol
   Real Actual OTP Committee
       self awareness x tumblrs privacy policy
   Illustrious Journalists Collective
       a guy died
       someone was arrested
       policework is a waste of time
       someone hates their kid
       that was nice
   ad hoc Unillustrious Journalist Collective
       a guy walked into a store, bought somehting, and left
   Shit I Read In The Tartan Committee
       there was excessive noise from partying in the Mudge piano room
       when the police showed up, they discovered that exotic dancers had been hired
   ad hoc Supply And Demand Committee
       if you're the only person with a sleeping bag at a hackathon people are jealous
           they glare a lot
   KGB Marionette Committee
       the floor. It is lava.
       the recsec is immune, suckers
           also apparently the president is wearing the presidential boots of lava resistance
   War On Christmas Committee
       332 days until it can report again
   Skyentology Committee
       presents a text from someone in Florida
           "if you're cold, wear more clothes"
   ad hoc Broetry And Storytelling Committee
       "The Broad Not Taken (at least, not the way I would have liked)" Brobert Frost and eforney
       this poem is dirty
   ad hoc Imagination Committee
       MY EYES
   ad hoc Help I'm Trapped Under A Table
       help, Frieder is trapped under a table
   ad hoc Ubiquitous Poster Committee
       you're not here because you fart
   Real Actual OTP Committee
       would like to request report from the Illustrious Journalist Collective in conjunction with the Committee For Inappropriate And Awkward Musical Accompaniment
       Illustrious Journalist Collective in conjunction with the Committee For Inappropriate And Awkward Musical Accompaniment:
           Xander bagpipe solo
   Real Actual OTP Committee
       would like to request a report from the Guild of Calamitous Intent and the Evil Seafood League
       Evil Seafood League
           ...Xander bagpipe solo
       and the Guild of Calamitous Intent would like to report
           different Xander bagpipe solo
   ad hoc Reccomended Tumblr Committee
       peoplescanningqrcodes.tumblr.com exists and contains no posts
   Innovative Technologies Committee
       opening applications for summer internsips
       want:
           an intern to stand next the xerox machine and turn it on continuously
               it likes to turn itself off, so it's never on when they need it
           there's someone watching us through the window, we need an intern to watch them back
           also an intern to bring coffee
               they need a lot of coffee because sleep is not allowed
   ad hoc Skye Needs A Job Committee
       Skye is very good at staring at stuff
   SCP Committee
       needs interns to fill in Class D Personality list
       so are you saying you want the D
   ad hoc Natures Most Horrendous Outputs Committee
       there's a fish called the Sarcastic Fringehead
           it's scary
           its mouth looks like it's got a vagina in it
   ad hoc Sarcastic Fringehead Committee
       SURE, that sounds like a great fish
   ad hoc Aww Committee
       awwwwwwww
   Daniel John Kirby Is So Full Of Himself Committee
       can get two free bottles of Coke because the vending machine broke
   Illustrious Journalist Collective
       Welcome to Nightvale is having a live show in Pittsburgh on the 26th of March
       apparently it's 21 and up????
           but also maybe not

OLD BUSINESS

   the Thing!
       you pansies not handling the cold is not Caroline's fault
           but HER not being able to handle the cold IS her fault

NEW BUSINESS

   If I Can't See You You Can't See Me Committee: if you close your eyes the cold can't see you
       the cold is more afraid of you than you are of it
       Maija made an obscure joke
       Innovative Technologies Committee: the weather machine's not broken. We swear.
       Skyentology Committee: yes, it is
       but what will happen on the day AFTER tomorrow?
       the operator of the weather machine is an alcoholic and he's doing the BEST HE CAN
       Winter Is Coming Committee: tonight will be much worse
       Bike Collective: fuck
       Puzzlehunt Committee: but we fixed the weather machine like three semesters ago!
       Skyentology Committee: there are some things going on in the sky that just can't be fixed
       James has now experienced long frozen hair
       don't comb thin hair when it's icy
           it gets ripped out
       Xander grew beardcicles
       Daniel John Kirby Is So Full Of Himself Committee: both of those things happened to him
       PASSES
       $2 to Frieder, JRAM and Frieder will chair
   Adam Liebowitz Memorial Dad Joke Committee: dad jokes
       you know why there weren't color photos before the 50s or 60s?
           that's because there WASN'T COLOR
           (if you haven't read the entirety of Calvin & Hobbes, this joke is for you)
       hi dad can we talk?
           yes son
           dad I'm gay
           hi gay I'm dad
       The Crimean War was the first war on crime
       every time I turn on the TV, they say "You're watching channel 7."
           how do they know?
       guys this is the DAD jokes committee not the BAD jokes committee
       change all instances of "dad" to "bad"
           FAILS
       ad hoc Stupid History Committee: approves
       eforney's dad's favorite show is the Deadliest Catch
           or as she likes to call it, the Dadliest Catch
       as Xander's allfather used to tell him
           SON YOU ARE A STRANGE SMALL FISH
       that's cute and no
       "if I ever get a dog I'm gonna call it Leroy Brown so when it poops on the carpet I can say, "bad Leroy Brown, bad!"
           an actual Adam Leibowitz original
       Bubbles says "I am the dadliest catch"
       PASSES
       $5 to McGinnis, anyone who is amused by dad jokes will chair
   Well I'm Not A ____ Committee: to add a disclaimer to the start of something
       I'm not a plumber but if your boyfriend has syphillis you should get checked out
       dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a ____
       I'm not a racist but statistically white collar crime is perpitrated by one race
       dammit, Jim, I'm not a doctor--well, I am a doctor, but not the kind that HELPS people
       change "____" to "Racist Butt"
           PASSES
       I'm not an amnesiac but
       I'm not a web developer but I really want to see my dog on the front page and it's like he's speaking to you
       I'm not your dad but look into your heart and you know it to be true
       PASSES
       $8 to Maija, anyone who isn't a ____ butt will chair
   Experimental Cryofashion Committee: that's an ice outfit you're wearing
       the cold never bothered me anyway
       Sometimes Awesome Things Are Real Committee: Ice Nine is an actual thing
       it you're wearing jeans that are too long and drag under your shoes, they'll snap off when they freeze
           Maija suggests leggings and skirts
       the way to test if the condensation on the outside of a container of liquid nitrogen is liquid oxygen is to throw it into a fire
       the floor water is too hard to drink
       Newly Dead Scientist Committee: success
       ad hoc Kind Of Girl Who Doesn't Own Leggings Committee: what?
       ad hoc Kind Of Guy Who Doesn't Own Jeans Committee: what?
       PASSES
       $3 to Mike, James, and anyone else's hair who freezes will chair
   Calling Out References Committee: this is a reference to a comment that Broman made earlier in a KGB meeting
       the first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club
           XKCD reference
       $5 to Drew, anyone who can successfully call out references will chair
   motion to change all mentions of "3" in auctions to "thrieder"
       dilatory
   motion to create a standing rule that "thrieder" will mean "3" in auctions
       IT'S A GOOD IDEA
       PASSES
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for food for the event
       PASSES
   I Don't Quite Remember The Lyrics Committee: to start singing the song, forget some of the lyrics but keep going on anyway because you're pretty good at meter
       welcome to the jungle,
           we've got fun and games
           we're running out of fun
           and we're running out of games
       CRAZY TRAIN
       STREETLIGHTS, STREETLIGHTS, SOMEWHERE IN STREETLIGHTSSSSSSS
       misappropriated Misheard Song Lyrics Committee: approves
       Multilinguist Committee: aaaaaaa maybe the grammar's wrong
       trust me i'm an engineer, I know what this thing's doing here, wait no
       PASSES
       $4 to Drew, everyone who shows up at the next karaoke night will chair
   KGB Should Never Sing Again In Meetings Committee: yeah pretty much that
       KGB Rocks The 80s Committee: is missing its keyboard
       Could You Repeat That In Song Committee: would like to request the purpose again
           no
       PASSES
       $4 to Drew, disbanded
   DGR Committee: make making it interesting more interesting
       DGR means different things depending on the event
           Deptartment of Gambling ???
           Deptartment of Good Resumes
           Deptartment of Gold Records
       PASSES
       $6 to James, he and anyone who doesn't have a huge debt of comrade points to him will chair
   Keep Those Artists In Line Committee: tread the fine line between getting artists to collaborate and realizing that artists have FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION
       so there Drew was, watching porn in cluster
           because it's art
       so there eforney was, animating porn in cluster
       Booth Chairs: AAAAAAAAAA
       so there JRAM was, making elaborate wood carvings of porn in cluster
       so there Maija was, writing porn in cluster
       so there was the KGB, making a porno in cluster
       so there eforney was, participating in porn out of kesden's reach in cluster
       PASSES
       $3 to Marlena, anyone who's had direction of artists will chair
   Dirty Disney Committee: Frozen
       you can't marry a man you just met
       Frozen is actually pretty decent, but it's not the best Disney movie
           maybe you should go see it
       passes
       $2 to Drew, everyone who's seen Frozen will chair

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       UPA
       Friday in Maggie Mo A14 at 7:00
       dress classy if you want
   Booth
       meetings are starting!
       Thursday at 5:30 in DH1217 for art meetings
           will last an hour, an hour and a half maybe
       Saturday at noon for construction
           will last between three and five hours
           feel free to come late and leave early if you have to
   sweatshirts
       talk to Dillon after the meeting

SCHMUCKS

   Puzzlehunt CMU
       puzzlehunt will be on March 2nd
       they're gonna try teams of 5
       it's zombie themed
   Game Creation Society
       there's an event! starting on projects this semsester
       go to gamecreation.org
   Frieder has never lost a puzzlehunt
       who wants him on their team?
   Sigbovik is on april 1st
       google it
       it's named after Harry Q Bovik, who was registered at CMU for YEARS
   remember that thing that Xander said about Nightvale?
       yeah reminding you of that

we are now in purple