From KGB Wiki
mike had a summer taught some children did some other stuff i missed this report skye had a summer new people omar, biomed & chem engineering, from ny, but from queens maddie, art, ohio, xinyu, (X), singapore, has black hair, major??? nathan, virginia, meche, likes sleeping shivo??, forgot a belt, masters engineering, place? nathan, scs, massachusetts, monolingual english speaker (…modern languages) nika, archie, from nyc, has a fave pizza place we have an event! potluck in the park 5:15, friday, black chairs we go to farpark old people bring food! fill out the spreadsheet young people we'll feed you dillon (dylan) had a summer hung around cmu took summer classes hung out erin had a summer worked hereish occassionally drove to chicago survived capstone election day! SUBMIT TO PRAVDA zora had a summer got a job hated the job got a different job loved the job started an anthology! is already exhausted joe had a summer did lots of things with roombas including stomping on them pun! a hotel had a lot of ghosts so they got an Inn-specter! murphy had a summer began with literally being iron man WAS A VERY ACTIVE PERSON IN SF no trees though
ad hoc tales from sf you know you got to the place with hippies when they ALL OFFER YOU ACID ad hoc tales from sf it is literally hell at 88f constitutional revisionism laughs maniacally augh adhoc tales from sf there's a place where you can order not drinks but abstract concepts adhoc tales from pgh affordable rent catspiracies theory we're in adhoc tails from pgh anthrocon constitutional revisionism committee wouldn't it be nice if we needed >3 people at the annual meeting? marlena tests the president (murphy is very dead) CHALLENGE storytelling committee (this is just a trick to get marlena in the front of the room) so this summer, marlena was working on VIRTUAL REALITY people apparently think it will make dollars this time there are /challenges/ associated with it some highlights from marlena's job the nunchuck controllers are VERY CONVINCING people drop them a lot. the tables are not real. don't fall through the table. ceiling fans. they are dangerous. valve had a controller. the only one prototype. people bopped the ceiling fan...and the controller exploded. PEOPLE THREW THE VIRTUAL KITTENS oh god they splatted the kittens you can also move the PLAYER around really fast. including way up high involuntary skydiving
the thing! school is not ed's fault this week
committee for unintent skydiving: wheeeeeeee, splat. change "wheeeeeee" to "screaming" is this when you push skye off the diving board change skydiving to "skye-diving" change purpose to...something about gravity. PASSES $3 to Espy, Omar, frieder, marlena, and skye will chair the cabinet: to annoy and legislate the shadow corp, the commune, and (coming soon) the syndicate we should prob create a system of checks change purpose to "storing small objects" PASSES change purpose to "lobbying small objects" FAILS prepend original purpose PASSES PASSES $10 to Ed. He will chair. kitten tennis committee: aw....NYOOM CAN ERIN TAKE BACK HER SECOND append "splat." to purpose PASSES motion to remove gravity FAILS change purpose to "kittens playing tennis" FAILS marlena solved this by making them tumble and get dizzy instead of splatting skyes 112 project was "grand theft buggy" yeah that's all we need. that's all we need to know. cars exploded due to bad programming PASSES $3 to Ed, disbanded KGBspan: better Cspan motion to remove gravity we are now in freefall floor is lava committee reports there's no gravity...EVERYTHING IS LAVA motion to re-add gravity SPLAT PASSED by abstention $1 to Skye. Skye will chair the roomba army: beep beep motherfuckers append "splat" to purpose PASSES ducttaping steak knives to roombas. not a good idea. don't do it what if we attach balloons to the back of them too replace "beep beep" with "beep beep waaaaaaaah" in purpose PASSES so in dc there are all these roombas with security clearences they leave the pentagon pretty often the way they have these clearences is that they say a three-sentence phrase so you have roombas saying security clearence phrases to trees THE ORIGINAL NAME FOR THE ROOMBA WAS CYBERSUCK PASSES $1 to Nick, Nick and all others with roombas will chair pillowfight committee: hard or soft? there is a correct answer here, mike hey guys, you know what the best part of inside jokes is? yeah, that append splat PASSES motion to replace pillows with steak knives hard or soft (PASSES) we're fighting over hard or soft knives with pillows what if we bring guns to this committee something something gun to a knifefight, you'll probably win PASSES $3 to Maddie, Maddie will chair. jokes-to-oreo machine: step 1: jokes. step 2: ????. step 3: oreos apple flavored oreos. change "???" to "splat" kraft singles flavored oreos. change "splat" to "bugmars" "we like bad jokes, not bad oreos" PASSES $1 to Erin. Anyone who either eats oreos or turns jokes into them will chair motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the events PASSES committee to remind exec in one year about something that is completely false: yeah p much that tabled exec get it apart committee: to get exec not to do whatever the exec get it together committee wants it to do append ed to purpose PASSES change purpose to "keep members of exec as far apart as possible" append splat to murphy nope committee to assassinate the pres looks at this favorably MURPHY RETURNS FAILS committee to add more space to rooms by adding more stuff: computer club's machine room you can request more furniture for your cmu apartment BUT NOT REQUEST THAT IT BE REMOVED you can straight steal shit. thanks ed. can also just get a bunch of grills in donner ditch we ended up with 4 once PASSES $1 to murphy. The maintainance people will chair. clarification of the word splat: we've been using it a lot. it means: a group of migrating lemmings, a common explative among octopi, a dessert commonly served while skydiving. PASSES $2 to Marlena. Marlena and anyone else who can come up with meanings for splat. constitutional revisionism: to fix rahter alarming bugs in the constitution are they spiders some are centipedes where is the constitution the wiki, the bridge, our website something something trump a group of people trying to revise the const are called a "splat" change purpose to "to open a giant can of worms" FAILS but it was good PASSES $13 to Ed. Ed will chair.
EVENT potluck in the park black chairs at 5:15 we're going to flagstaff old people bring food. new people eat food sign up to bring food: cmukgb.org/food if pittsburgh happens (it rains) we'll be in PHA18* exec meetings! we meet at wednesdays at 7:30 pm! We do not know where, our room is broken. Dinner! we eat at resnik and eat outside when it's nice! pay your dues! there are perks! they involve votings and shirts
frisbees at 4:30 on the cut on weds and fridays! please sign ed's constitutional stuff! computer club's talk series is starting again on wednesday! kgb rifle association is having a nerf war on the cut next monday at 2! they have an arsenal message skye caaaaaaaaaaaats
we are now in purple