Minutes20150907

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EXEC REPORTS

   mike
       had a weekend
       drove to jersey
       dropped sister off at college!
           jelly o them dorms
       frankensteined all over bryn mawr
   
   skye
       had a weekend
       dan was here, then pamela's, then kayaking (oh no)
       halt and catch fire?
       nerf war!!
       new people
           arley, cogsci, pittsburgh, is short
           shonak, math, allentown, likes justin bieber
           scott, was a pitt student (graduated), linguistics!, murdered someone once
           peter, russia??, math, from boston
   
   dillon
       had a weekend
       did
       nothing
       EVENT
           UNDERGROUND TOUR
               friday - meet at UC black chairs at 7:30 (and then go all over!)
               all trueness
               ends at the fence with grilling and veggie options!
               dress inconspicuously!
           activities fair
               wednesday, 4:30, come hang out
   
   erin
       had a weekned
       did nothing on saturday
       went to ikea on sunday
       grilled!
       now is here
       SUBMIT TO PRAVDA
   
   zora
       had a weekend
       only computer tears
   
   joe
       had a weekend
       pennapps
       duck puns, i think it's revenge for the coins
   
   murphy
       had a weekend
       wes anderson is great
       shouldn't have locked his phone
       WILL STRIKE DOWN UPON THEE don't attack mike y'all
           this was very impressive i swear
   

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   suburban white girls of america, pumkin in everything: soon
   
   danjohn is so full of himself: hi misses us and loves us all v much
       misap: also what
       also misap: joe was going towards cluster along the pausch bridge
           was NOT recognized by djk
   
   murphy just turned into owen
   
   misap danjon
       he's a running joke, he doesn't actually exist
   
   i had a dream
       everything was normal except zora was floating
           skye was like "have you MET them?"
       and erin was like "okay."
   
   sisson brought food???
   
   misap danjohn with filibuster
       no
   
   danjohn secret southerner: approves of amount of guns
   
   committee to assassinate the pres: HELLA reports
       frieder is back
       now he's not
   
   roomba army: beep beep beep BEEP
   
   the cabinet: is excited
   
   we are now in purple

OLD BUSINESS

   the Thing!
       it mysteriously disappearing is not frieder's fault
       

NEW BUSINESS

   actual soviet spies: [russian]
       it's a BAD idea
       WE HAVE RUSSIANS. SO MANY RUSSIANS
       dylan is not russian
           or maybe he is but his accent is super not
       motion to table this committee until after the revolution
           only if you set a time for the revolution
       motion to table tis committee until after labor day
           PASSES
   TABLED
   
   committee on soviet zombies:
       there were funny jokes, recsec's comp is crappo
   PASSES
   $3 to frieder. who chairs? who knows!
   
   committee to assinate the president: to moon the president
       change purpose to "show the pres pictures of moons"
           PASSES
       that's no moon it's a bugmars
       the ACTUAL moons of mars look like ASS
           not like ass ass, they just look shitty
   PASSES
   $2 to steven, everyone with a really good ass and frieder
   
   cow olympics: sometimes family feud is ridiculous
       steve harvey met a dude who created the cow olympics
           they had to... get a cow out of a pool?
           family feud
       the rules don't say a dog can't pay basketball
   PASSES
   $2 to ed, ed and erin and family feud watchers
   
   the syndicate: to put all the rogues together in one extremely efficient assassination
       it's a good idea
           NO
       how quickly would the membership decline?
           it depends on skye
       are we gonna have bowtie thursday
           bowtie wednesdays and cinema thursdays
   TABLED FOR 47 SECONDS
       so, next week then
   
   43 second naptime
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   WAKE
   
   leader of the opposition: fuck off
       append "splat"
           PASSES
       oh look the minutes just say "fish" over and over and over again
       salute steven!
       change every word of the name and purpose with "frieder"
           FAILS
           question decision of chair
           PASSES
           i don't do those switches suck it
       motion to restore the original purpose
           PASSES
       PASSES
       $21 to owen, owen will chair!
   
   committee on collective nouns: a group of emos is called an isopod, a group of frieders (when skye is done with them) is called a SPLAT
   PASSES
   $4 to shonak, owen will chair
   
   committee to get a pickle into parlieament: to elect dill the tory, and also get a pickle into parliament
       dylan approves
       THE DUMMY GOT INTO PARLIAMENT
           there's context here
       LOTS OF REMEMBERING JOKES
           they were funny
           i was laughing, and thus, not typing
               (if you want good minutes, go back to like. two years ago, idk)
   PASSES
   $1 to frieder, frieder and the pickle will chair
   
   KBGate: scandalllls
       change to kgbengazi
           FAILED
           appeal decision of the chair
           PASSES
   FAILS
   
   motion to make an allocation nto to exceed $200 for food for the underground tour
   PASSES
   
   aviatic excursions: to give sky tours (skye toors)
       fuck you (from skye)
   PASSES
   $4 to owen, skye will chair
   
   pumpkin everything: the best time of the year
       suburban white girls of america: there's actually no pumpkin in pumpkin spice anything
           NOT ANYMORE
       PUMPKIN SPICE MONSTER TRUCKS
       chante purpose to that thing
           PASSES
           ok???
       how does this committee feel about peppermint everything?
           in dec, great
       pumpkin SPICE more like pumpkin VICE guys i need help
           the support group meets at starbucks
   PASSES
   $1 to erin, anyone who truly appreciates pumpkin spice anything will chair
   
   committee to celebrate joes birthday: to make frieder a cake
       owen hates thing
       change purpose to "bake joe a frieder-shaped cake"
           PASSES
       motion to make frieder jump out of the frieder shaped cake
       motion to give joe just. frieder in a cage for his birth day
       motion to bake frieder into a cake
           (frieder leaves quietly)
           we're all accomplicessssss
           (dilatory)
       oh god we've gotten to nipple tassels it's time to go
   PASSES
   $7 to owen, the birthday boy will chair
   
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $5 to purchase nipple tassels, possibly doubling as nipple TASERS
       frieder: will you actually use them?
           there's only one way to find out
       THIS IS NOW A COMMITTEE????
       we have a gift fund
           ed could donate the money and earmark it
       did you know that AB films is showing magic mike in two weeks
   PASSES
   $5 to dylan, frieder and anyone willing to chip in for the tassels
   
   motion to pass this motion
       ?
   
   motion to return to old business
       SURE

OLD BUSINESS

   we are now in discussion of the syndicate
       motion to table this committee at. some point
           FAILS
       change name to "dylantory" committee
           FAILS
   PASSES
   $3 to owen, skye will chair

NEW BUSINESS

   committee to find land owning dogs microphones: to find mike's woof lords
       the bswolf memorial committee approves
       motion to cover steven in bees and wolves
           request only wolves
           okay
           PASSES
       we can put the wolves in bee costumes
           yep
   PASSES
   $1 to murphy, bswolf will chair
   

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       Underground tour!
           friday, 7:30, black chairs
           there will be food after
           dress inconspicuously
           email exec@cmukgb.org for storytelling and sign holding
       
   kgb rifle association
       hvz is happening this semester! message skye!
       
   activities fair! it's fun come hang out on wednesday at 4:30
   
   exec meetings!
       7:30pm on wednesday in UC 329
   

SCHMUCKS

   david brought food! come eat it!
   
   we can get nipple tassels on amazon prime!