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Officer Reports

Jared

Steelers won the super world cup pennant race thingy. Apparently that is good.

Weekend full of beautiful women, Sam and max, LISP.

Jokeservers reign of terror. Awful pun in Sam in Max. You have to decided which is which.

Celebrity vegetables. Do it in peas, give peas a chance. Ellis island is an ex-port.

Glisson

No one loves him.

New People

Steve. ECE. Pittsburgh, Maryland and Moscow. Likes dogs.

Jackson. Tepper. Wants to be in CS. Do we support Lenin? We Support Robot Lenin. He supports Robot Regan.

Report

KGB Dance Party. It was really cool. Made him very happy. Thanks to everyone who danced with him.

Was in Fluids class. Supposed to measure temperature of wind tunnel. Half wanted Celsius, half wanted Fahrenheit. Got into a heated argument. (Kelvin wanted to measure it in Fahrenheit).

Carolyn

Had an awesome weekend. A lot of us came to her event. Jumps up and down and dances a lot. ITR was awesome.

EVENT! Booth Committee gets you for a week. Fun^H^H^HSaftey with Power Tools! Also other cool stuff, that won't be in the minutes so ask csawyer. Cage is in Stever/New House/Mudgewood. Meet in Black Chairs at 6:45 if you can't find it.

EEEPC popular. Little laptops everyone. Its pretty eeepic.

Nicole

Had a weekend. Went out to lunch and got her hair cut. There was a football game. Sometimes kick a field-goal and try to make a touchdown. Got some snark. Submit to Pravda? Because people haven't been doing that.

Found a rubber band. CMU realized it never asked the CMU body what we think about Walking to the Sky, so conducting a Walking to the Sky Pole.

Carolyn Again

Thanking people who helped Bblum, Ttuttle, Krieger are awesome. And Jokesever.

Drew

Epic Weekend was Epic.

Also, Laptop's new year resolution is 1280 by 1024.

Laura

Did awesome stuff. Needs to make up stuff for her report. We could probably buy a whole bunch of rubber bands. Tried to find how many rubber band balls, but got distracted.

Always do you HW sitting up, more prone to errors lying down.

Liz

It hurts to talk. Dance on Friday was cool. We gave her cash for powertools on Saturday. Kid in Candy Shop. We have shiny new tools. Sunderday. Watched super bowl. Fan-fucking-tastic. Probably more, but forgets.

Greek Mathematician found special function. Riemann hypothesis, wasn't sure if it was continuous. Went to Italy, got shipwrecked. Thought she was in Italy, found a person and was like "Italian? Help with Analysis". Guy was like "Sorry, Dis Crete".

Committees

Steelers

Success.

Also, someone added Polumalu and Holmes to the row of Turing Award winners in Newel Simon.

Assassins

Most people are already dead. Not gonna survive must longer.

Scott Pilgrim

Enormous Amounts of Anticipation.

Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes

7 counts success

ITR

On Fire

Funny Money

10 years of States. Going to Presidents. Starting with George Washington.

Not Burn Down Roselawn 7

Success, same cannot be said about much of Pittsburgh.

Miss-appropriate KGB as a Ground Hog

Clearly Spring.

Ad-hoc HEY GUYS ITS A RIOT

Unitarian Jihad

Haven't seen fun until you see guys bringing down a traffic light with a police barricade.

Row Of Matts

Sorta Success

Miss-appropriate Random Art on Campus

Good idea

Puzzling

Actually ask that Rioters *don't* bring the rocket Launcher.

Orinthopter

On going experiment to get a line backer to run 100 yards.

Ad-hoc Mathematicians

Go Ordinals.

Storytelling

By Shawn! Zomg!

Chemistry.

  • Paul Walks in*
  • Shawn feels like a guy doing a public painting performance and Michaelangelo Walks in*

Back to Chemistry. Can't get gold to react. Something about Gold and Nobel medals. From context, they dissolved Nobel medals and then got them back when Hitler was dead.

Second story is probably not true. Young man, exam in Cambridge. Got exam was like "I request you provide me with Cakes and Ale". Proctor is baffled, young man pulls out an old old copy of the student handbook. Where it says "Gentleman sitting down for an exam may request that Cakes and Ale be furnished". Gets McDonald's instead. Young Man takes the exam. Two weeks later, gets letter from dean fining him for not showing up with his sword.

Storytelling

By Paul!

Did not go Rioting this year. Because he did last time. Excellent Example of just how useful Calvary can be against 4000 drunken happy people.

Last time Steelers did this was as a six seed, which meant they had to keep winning on the road. No one had ever done it, but they did.

Watched all of the games in the dining room of the Elbow Room because he was in Shadyside, was an employee. Had bay area friends with bay area cash. Bar area packed, Dining Room was empty. So sat in Dinning Room, talked with the waiter who had nothing else to do. Tipped Waiter well. Because it was just them. Went 30%, 40%, 60%. Won Superbowl, gave ubertip, waiter was like "This isn't right. This is my rent". They were like "Yes it is". Pittsburgh is at its best when it is proud.

Pillage Plunder and Burn Pitt During Spring Break

Way to early.

Old Business

Caroline gets the thing. Kesden's Always Late to Class is not her Fault.

New Business

$50 for Food for the Event

Passed by Acclamation.

$50 For Supplies and Stuff for Event

Passed by Acclamation.

"Damn I Love a Good Riot" Committee

Changed to: Damn, its good to be a Riot. Gonna be a Riot. To Chose Quotes from Last Nights Riot: Hay Honey, I'm totally gonna flip over four cars for you. Because that is how much I love you.

What kind of shoes should we wear?

Dannel was like "Obama Obama Obama Obama!"

YES WE CAN TEAR DOWN THIS STOPLIGHT.

Glisson watched cardboard get stocked. Then dumpster. Then fire. Then police baracade. Then trees. Then a guy walked by with a small dog.

Come to Bury Caesar, not to Praise him.

Interesting People that get interesting information. Like "Ignore Bugler Alarm, head to Forbes and Atwood." and "Chorus of 'Here we go'." "Don't worry about Car in Atwood. Mostly Burned Down". 80 Police Stations. Wasn't enough. No one died? Hurray!

A couple of people were in the Morewood Lounges. Got to see Frat Quad. See Four guys throw a couch out and burn it.

Couches because they are the largest flammable non explosive item that you can often acquire for free.

Throwing Water and Beer out windows, on cop. =(

In Favor: Scream that you are on Fire. Opposed: Cry for a Medic. Abstaining: Different TF2 Joke. $7 to achivett. All those who like to riot to chair.

Man I'm too old for this Shit

If the music is too old, you are too loud. No man page entry found for "I'm too old for this Shit". Remember kids, we don't understand your music because we don't like it. Grand Turino? More hair, more able to be against this.

In Favor: Shake your Cane. Opposed: Tell those Damn Kids to get Off your Lawn. Abstaining: Tell those Damn Kids to get Off you virtual reality system.

$3 to Aballard. Aballard and Rauhit to chair.

Man I'm too young for this shit

What they hell is Metropolis. No man page entry found for "I'm too young for this Shit". Groundhog Day: Staring the KGB. Kinda ruining Rauhit's childhood.

In Favor: Video Games Opposed: Starfox Reference. Abstaining: Abstain! Porno Squid! $3 to Shawn. Peter Hammel and himself to chair.

Phantom Roads

Because Roads disappear. Phantom of the Road is there, inside my glove compartment. Knight Rider. Renamed to "Paper Street" committee. Phantom Tollbooth approves of old committee. Ad-hoc Dark City Approves. Changed to "Phantom Dark Paper Street". Worst Name for Mortal Kombat Character Ever. In Favor: Name a place that has disappeared in the last year. Opposed: Name a place that had appeared in the last year. Abstaining: Mr. Gorbachev, break down this wall.

$4 to Todd. Alan, Himself, and Conner to chair.

Liz's Very Own Committee

Placeholder for Liz's Committees. Purpose Changed remind Todd what his Committee's are. Purposed changed back to the original purpose. Alan wanted to change it. I didn't catch what he wanted to change it to. In Favor: Even worse name! Opposed:  ???? Abstaining: Ask Glisson What he said. $14: to Labbott and Friends. Liz to Chair.


An Even Worse Name for This Committee

Changed to Martin Luther Memorial Committee. Changed to the Holocaust. Changed to the "Shit I'm Pregnant Committee". Changed to the "Shit I'm Pregnant Your the Father and I'm going to kill all three of us". Changed to the "Shit I'm Pregnant. Martin Luther is the Father and I'm going to kill everyone". Postponed Indefinitely.

This is why we don't go nice placed committee

Purpose: because of the shit that just happened. Really don't like where this is going. No Geek Eat? In Favor: Raise Hand. Opposed: Raise Hand. Fails

Atmospheric Om-nomoly

Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Exodus Committee Approves.

In Favor: Om-nom-nom Opposed: Atmospheric. Abstaining: Prono Squid $1 to Mander. Mander and FSM to chair.

Announcements

EVENT! Surprise! Power tools! RAOC! Let you in the Kage! Won't let you out!

Pay Labbott for Useless Person Auction.

BOOOTH! Meeting on Sunday! At 3. Probably old CS Lounge. Watch the bboard.

PUZZLE HUNT! Wants to know how long it should be.

Shucks

ESG! Presentation on Zen Meditation. Wean 5304. 6:30. Bring comfy pants.