Minutes20131111

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OFFICER REPORTS

   Broman
       had a weekend
       started with improv, which was rad
           it was led by NPP who are people that are cool and not Adam
           them not being Adam means that they didn't really expect all our quirks so that was amusing
       probably did some work
       has a job interview tomorrow in Philidelphia!
   Caroline
       had a weekend
       you know the rage face that's real excited? that emotion
       Al is in town and she has a job interview
       Estelle is birthday!
   JRAM
       had a weekend
       was mystified by Daniel John's pope seahorse
       took the GRE on saturday
           forgot the area of a circle
               had to rederive it using fancy math tricks
               probably got that problem wrong
       EVENT
           Trivia Night
           Porter A18* 7:00
           y'all should help write trivia if you don't actually want to do trivia
   Marlena
       had a weekend
       started with a haircut
           where a haircut is to put the hair on a different body
           so the entity sitting here now is not the Marlena that we had last week, but an entirely different person
           same hair, though
       then improv, and mbritton was in town
       there'll be a Pravda? next week
       SUBMIT TO PRAVDA
   Zora
       had a weekend
       started with the event, it was fun to watch improv 
       then went and watched Thor and it was AMAZING
       then went to the Artemis party (and didn't play Artemis)
           then went to Pacific Rim
           then back to the Artemis party (and still didn't play Artemis)
       then work? and booth
       and then the weekend WASN'T OVER
           played a victim in a simulation of a mass casualty incident
           spirit gum IS STILL ON THEIR FACE
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       it was remarkably similar to Zora's weekend
       spent most of the event watching improv
           only participated like twice
       also saw Thor, also thought it was great, also went to Artemis
           but actually played Artemis as part of the USS George Takei
       also did booth on Sunday
       but had boring class this morning
   Mike
       had a weekend
       remarkably similar to Zora and Dillon's weekend
       difference
           was captain during Artemis
           did science with the jump drive
           you can go 12.3 km per unit energy
           they were the Warp Accident

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   Daniel John Kirby Nightmare In Dreamland Committee
       Caroline had a dream
       there was a hurricane and then things happened and everyone was fine
       but an aircraft carrier landed near their house
           but it had always been there
   Daniel John Kirby Is So Full Of Himself Committee in conjunction with the misappropriated Tautology Committee
       watching a documentary on health food
           young girl from south thinks that in order to live until 90, she just has to try not to get killed
   White Elephant Committee
       issuing a challenge
       JRAM loses
   Intrep Journalist Collective:
       conclusion to the continuing story of the Harvest Festival
       they had been stuck underground
       the owlbear got sober, had to drug him again
       the crustacean was actually a dog
           it got eaten by the owlbear
       a starship warped through, juggalos had taken over surface
       the council has declared open season on the juggalos
           their population is declining
   Skyentology Committee in conjunction with the Committee for ccolombo's Facination
       reports
   misappropriated Committee to Monitize The KGB
       why don't we just film these meetings and put them on youtube?
       we could make money off the ads
   ad hoc Fun Facts About ccolombo Committee
       telling the story about her dream reminded her about a real weird building from home
   ad hoc Confuse A Bagger Committee
       success
       Skye's bagger liked AXO
   Yoga Flame Committee
       Getting Bike Through Tiny Doorway
   Bulbous Boufont Committee
       Schwaaaaa Jab
       none of those motions were the actual Schwa Jab motion
   Booth Committee
       we had a meeting
       discussed electrical
       still having meetings at 3:00 on Sundays in Porter A18A
       see facebook for recaps!
           Zora will try to get this week's up soon
   Min Bid Committee
       continued massive success
   ad hoc Performance Art Committee
       would like to propose something with the Yoga Flame Committee
   ad hoc Romantic Committee
       would like to propose TO the Yoga Flame Committee

OLD BUSINESS

   The Thing!
       people not waking up is not Stephen's fault

NEW BUSINESS

   Committee For Descriptive Facebook Photojournalism: to be sure that people know that the blood all over their friends isn't real
       Xander objects
       what if the blood is real?
           that would still be a good thing to know
       remember the steps for winning internet points
           1) injure self
           2) take picture
           3) THEN seek doctor
       Stuart's jeans now have fake blood, real blood, and red paint on them
       ad hoc Women's Health Committee: will report back in about a month
       report requested from the Spontaneous Shark Pun Committee
       PASSES
       $4 to McGinnis, he will chair
   KGB NRA Commitee: for upstanding members of the KGB who like to uphold the 2nd Ammendment
       change "2nd Ammendment" to "2nd law of robotics"
           PASSES
       change "NRA" to "National Robotics Association"
           FAILS
       change "NRA" to "NBA"
           FAILS
       motion to come on and slam
           dilatory
       change "robotics" to "thermodynamics"
           FAILS
       PASSES
       $10 to McGinnis, he and dkirby will chair
   motion to create standing rule that would establish "come on and slam" as always an order
       I don't think we should come on and slam, he wants to stay clean today
       we should add that we should only do it if we want to jam
       what if we're not welcome to the jam? just the bread and peanut butter and stuff
       Xander objects
           creating new standing rules is dangerous and inadvisable
       FAILS
   Antiethnocentricity Committee: to celebrate today, November 11, as Singles Day
       which is an actual holiday in China
       prepend "kraft" to all instances of "singles"
           PASSES
       $23 to McGinnis, all people in committed relationships will chair
   motion to create a standing rule that all alumni entering KGB meetings must high five at least one other alumnus
       according to cmu anyone having completed one semester is an alumnus
       tabled indefinitely
   Warm And Fuzzy Committee: to talk about things that make people feel good feelings
       mbritton would like to preempt this elaborate your mother joke right now
       eforney: vibrators
       PASSES
       $15 to Frieder, Xander will chair
   Hat Hair Committee: to take pride in our appearances
       how does this committee feel about helmets
           they are welcome
       append "and perform magic tricks" to purpose
           PASSES
           hat hare committee
               geddit
       eforney always takes lust in her appearance
       dkirby always takes gluttony in his appearance
       anyone can pull a rabbit out of a hat, but it takes a real magician to pull a bear out of one
       have you ever seen a man eat his own head?
       okay, nobody panic and don't smell like food
       Marlena watched a scary video in art class
       PASSES
       $7 to McGinnis, anyone with any experience in illusions will chair
   Superfast Bidding Committee: any bids for this committee, if you dont respond in less than a second--shaaaame
       three
       time travel: four
       t h e   V e r y   S l o w   C o m m i t t e e   d o e s   n o t   a p p r o v e   o f   t h i s   c o m m i t t e e
       $3 to McGinnis, Frieder will chair
   Suspicious Package Committee: so the KGB can better handle their suspicious packages
       motion to place quotation marks around "suspicious" and "package"
           PASSESS
       heyyyy your mom is already in charge of this committee
       put it away twright
       motion to enclose all quote marks in more quote marks
           no
       change all "suspicious" with "glorious" with that creepy inflection
           PASSES
       replace all quotation marks with two apostrophes
       append finger twiddling motion to "glorious"
           PASSES
       motion to put "committee" in question marks
           PASSES
       prepend "people's" before all "glorious" in purpose
           PASSES
       PASSES
       $21 to McGinnis; he, Skye, and the present Rec Sec will chair
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for the event
       PASSES
   Evil League of Eagles: to keep a watchful eye on and sometimes eat the Evil Seafood League
       Guild of Calamitous Intent: approves
       change "eagles" to "EEEAGLES"
           PASSES
       Evil Seafood League: would like to remind everyone of the effect of water on feathers
       Evil League of Eagles: would like to point out the affect of air on fish
       Skyentology Committee: is working on this problem
       Evil Seafood League: yeah well that won't be a problem much longer
           air we mean
           air won't be a problem
       PASSES
       $20 to mbritton, disbanded
           we've seen upstarts before, we'll see them again
   451 Every Day Committee: to wrap about how awesome reading is
       butterfly in the skyyyyy
           COME ON
       wanna smoke some trees
       change name to "420 committee"
           FAILS
       don't drugs okay
           drugs are bad
       PASSES, $5 to McGinnis, 420 will chair
   Spoonerisms Committee: to speak in spoonerisms
       I said "capable runt"
       you think you know epidemiology? you don't know epidemiology
       cunning stunts downhill derby
       isn't that just the naked popeathon?
       upon a slitted sheet I sit
           SUCCESS
       pheasent mother plucker
       have you ever held in your heart my darling a half warmed fish
       PASSES
       $7 to McGinnis, all primes shall chair
   Dangerous Trend Committee: to have a meeting where Frieder spends strictly less money than he did the meeting before
       part of Marlena is sad that only two people are bidding, part of her is happy because they're bidding a lot
       hey who wants to go to the Porch after this?
           the joke is that Xander got food poisoning from it
       $16 to Frieder, he and everyone else who causes him to spend money in any way shape or form will chair

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       Trivia Night
       Friday, 7:00, Porter A18*
       you can help write questions if you don't thing you'll want to do trivia
   sweatshirts
       there's a form on the facebook page
       we can email you
           frosty wants to be emailed
           (briedel)
       the price is PROBABLY $20 for members, $25 for nonmembers

SCHMUCKS

   if anyone's interested in doing CS research for next semester
       Xander's lab is looking for a CS person
       up to 18 units
       modeling stuff
       talk to him
   bring headphones for cluster gaming
   the disbanded Evil League of Eagles
       will come back in it's final form
   Pittsburgh Obscure Games is doing a soccer thing
       one goal instead of two so you need fewer people to play
       it'll happen at Flagstaff at some point
   Nerf Wars
       this weekend
       stay tuned
   McGinnis spent $70 to $80

we are now in purple