Minutes20141702

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OFFICER REPORTS

   Broman, who is totally actually Broman
       had a weekend
       on Friday probably went to the KGB event
       which was Get Board Get Carded? No. Bitterness Party?
       did something on Saturday, then stayed up really late instead of going to bed
       on Sunday procrastinated homework and stayed up really late again
       that actually could have been Tim Broman's report
   James
       had a weekend
       it was paradoxical
           did too much and didn't do enough
       then went to class
       new people
           Michael, CS, 20 minuntes North of pittsburgh, has a ponytail
       for the duration of the meeting, steps down as chair and hands it off to his successor, the Second VP
   JRAM
       had a weekend
       did work
       violated one of his deepest ethical principles by buying long pants
           for grad school interviews
       EVENT
           CTFWS
           Friday, 7:00, DH 2315
       for the duration of the meeting, steps down as chair and hands it off to his successor, the Corsec        
   Marlena
       had a weekend
       working
       taught some people (who were probably more experienced than she was) how to play an RPG
       stayed inside all day sunday and did work
           congratulated self on finishing work by 11:30
           rewarded self by staying up until 1:30 and drinking wine and reading a book
       for the duration of the meeting, steps down as chair and hands it off to her successor, the Recording Secretary    
   Zora
       had a weekend
       started with the event, where we did indeed act our age
       then a build! Which was not well attended, but was productive.
           then CONSTRUCTION JUNCTION which is like a booth chair's playground
           we bought a countertop
       then sunday, which was work
       for the duration of the meeting, steps down as chair and hands it off to their successor, the Treasurer
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       and by that he means he had absolutely no weekend because PennApps
       got a total of 6 hours of sleep between Friday morning and Sunday night
       for the duration of the meeting, steps down as chair and hands it off to his successor, the Sergeant at Arms    
   Mike
       had a weekend
       went to the Bitterness Party
       apparently the only way they can write an essay is by only sleeping two hours in a night
           so that's what happened last night
       was sitting in lab and failed to comprehend absolutely anything
       Construction Tunction was before that
           they had two church podiums on sale
           we could have bought a podium and put it in the booth
       for the duration of the meeting, steps down as chair

And so begins Alex Frieder's very tame takeover.

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   Suspicious Package Committee
       obtained one
   Committee To Assassinate The President
       probable success
   Daniel John Secret Southerner Committee
       He is hereby declaring winter officially over
       God's gonna get rid of the snow
   Winter Is Coming Committee in conjunction with the misappropriated Daniel John Secret Southerner Committee
       Caroline saw an entire flock of robins
       also this is the only week that's predicted to be below 40 degrees in the next 6
   Committee for ccolombo's Fascination
       success
   Frieder looks so suspicious
   possibly misappropriated Boooooooth Committee in conjunction with the ad hoc Making Two Booths Committee
       painting with frozen paint is not wise
       don't do it
   Innovative Technologies Committee
       so that guy who was running the weather machine was fired
       but they never hired anyone else so he just kept working
           they've fixed that now
       ...go to Mike if you want a job
   Time Travel Committee
       apologizes for slight oversight
       they brought Frieder back too far
   ad hoc That Penny You Just Picked Up Was In The Applesauce Committee
       that penny you just picked up was in the applesauce
           actually it was matzo ball soup
   ad hoc That Penny You Just Picked Up Was In The "Applesauce" Committee
       you don't want to know where that penny was
   ad hoc Toss The Helix Fossil Committee
       failure
   ad hoc Toss The Moonstone Committee
       success
   Illustrious Journalist--
       the streets have disappeared
       the rats have come
       I think it's rhyming
       this is pretty
   Warm And Fuzzy Committee
       think about puppies
   ad hoc I Need My Momma  Committee
       reminder that eforney is our momma
       Caroline misses her
   Taxidermy Committee
       in light of recent events, try not to think about puppies
   We Hope You're Proud Of Yourself Committee
       you'll learn

OLD BUSINESS

   The Thing!

(Broman returns. Frieder's reign is over.)

BACK TO OLD BUSNESS

       sleep deprevation is not Mike's fault this week
           that's a lie

NEW BUSINESS

   Ad Hockey Committee: every committee could be better if we added hockey
       replace all instances of "hockey" with "Pocky"
           only if it's the strawberry kind
           PASSES
       weeaboo, weeaboo
       change all instances of "Pockey" to "curling"
           only if it's the strawberry kind
           PASSES
       motion to change the uniforms to the Norwegian ones from the last winter olympics
           PASSES
       motion to take a minute to appreciate the Norwegian curling team's pants
           it's a privelaged motion
           FAILS
           although it also succeeded
       PASSES
       $2 to Frieder, every curling player ever will chair
   Adult Children Committee: to find places like Construction Junction that are more dangerous than you would want to have around kids, but still fun
       isn't this redundant with the KGB
       Time Travel Committee: apologizes for the momentary nonexistance of the Time Travel Committee
       PASSES
       $2 to Xander, disbanded
   Winter Is Ending Committee: to really, really believe the weather predictions for the next six weeks, and really believe this is the last week of Winter, and thus enjoy it
       Skyentology Committee: what do you mean you fired Bob?!
       ad hoc George R. R. Martin Committee: Winter barely came already
       astrological and meteorological winter are different things
       what about how George R. R. Martin defines Winter?
           the period of time between books
       this would be relevant if all of us weren't killed off in the last book
       PASSES
       $3 to Maija, people who like Winter and who are sad that it's ending will chair
   Buttsight Is 20, 20: replacing "hind" with "butt" sounded a lot funnier in Steven's head
       change all instances of "butt" with "cloud"
           PASSES
           this is an xkcd reference
           there's an actual Chrome extension that someone made off it
           wank wank reference wank
       PASSES
       $2 to Frieder, anyone who can't see will chair
   Once And Future President: to turn Frieder into a goat
       request report From Calling Out References Committee
           Merlin turned Arthur into several animals to teach him a lesson
               but none of them was a goat
           each was to teach Arthur a specific lesson
           Xander thinks Frieder could learn a lot from being a goat
       PASSES
       $3 to Maija, people who are capable of the purpose will chair
   Enthusiasm Committee: Anger. And high bidding.
       XANDER IS YELLING
           friendly
       ad hoc Keepers Of The Portal Committee
           very happy to have closed the door
       highest committee this year was $100
       BILLY MAYS HERE ADVOCATING STORING ALL YOUR FILES IN THE BUTT
           it's called file repository
       point of information: do you mean 2014 or the academic year?
           the academic year
           also it went to McGinnis
       does anyone have mre than five jobs?
       PASSES
       $27 to Drew, jwatzman will chair
   ad hoc Tasty Stuff Committee
       would like to nominate muddy buddies
       no nominations aren't open yet
       it's funny because Caroline's on the om nom nom committeee
   motion to append a space to the KGB Dictionary
       FAILS for lack of a second
   point of whatever: is this appending a physical space or what?
       didn't this fail?
   motion to add a space to the end of the name of the KGB Dictionary
       is this space constantly expanding?
       is this space a non breaking space or a breaking space?
           it's the ascii character.
       dad, are you space?
           yes, son.
       motion to table indefinitely
           dilatory
       space is tooooo big
           yep
       motion to make space smaller
           out of order
       PASSES
   KGB Arms And Armor Committee: to arm and or armor members of the KGB
       request report from the Sergeant with Arms
           Xander is the only person who's ever been part of any armed forces
       Daniel John Secret Southerner Committee: success
       does this committee have models on which it builds its armor?
       does this committee have a right to its bear arms?
       motion to add an "h" to the nouns in the name
           FAILS
       change all instances of "arm" to "legs"
           FAILS
       I have a big head, and little arms
       PASSES
       $7 to maija, arms and or armors will chair
   CS Trinity Committee: to make those three people with CS jobs feel guilty and give us more money
       that sounds a lot like Communism
           Steven approves
       what's your opinion on extortion?
           the chair must remain impartial on all discussion
       change all instances of "CS" to "cee ess"
           FAILS
       change all instances of "CS" to "CSS"
           FAILS
       change all instances of "CS" to "CSI"
           PASSES
       this doesn't seem like a crime scene yet
       change all CSI to CSI Miami
           only if they move to Miami
           this means that the name changes if they all move to Miami
       PASSES
       $65 to teisenbe, disbanded
   is this Film Club?
   Committee That Refueses To Be Bribed, Wink: we will not be bribed, wink
       change all instances of "wink" to "blink"
           PASSES
       change name to "Sochi Committee"
           PASSES
       append astrisk to end of name
           PASSES
       change name to "Mochi* Committee"
           PASSES
       passes
       $7 to McGinnis, disbanded
   squid squid squid squid squid squid: squid squid squid squid 
       squid squid squid squid squid squid
       squid squid
       squid
       squid squid squid
       squid
       squid
       squid squid squid squid squid squid
       squid squid squid
           squid squid squid
               squid
       squid squid squid squid
       squid squid squid
       squid squid squid squid squid
           squid
       squid squid squid squid
       squid squid squid squid squid squid squid squid
           squid squid squid
           squid
       squid squid squid squid squid squid squid
       squid
       squid squid squid squid squid squid
       squid squid squid
       [REDACTED]
       squid squid squid squid
       squid squid squid squid squid squid squid squid
       squid squid squid squid squid squid
               squid squid squid
       squid squid squid squid squid squid 
       squid squid squid
   Squid Committee: it we collect all the power of the squids, we can pass anything
       the squids are free you can't tame them
       counterpoint, hawks are awesome
       PASSES
       $2 to Mike, Skittles will chair when we free him
   Calamartyr Committee: to remember all the squids who have sacrificed their time and lives to support Robert's Rules of Order
       Mike is personally opposed because they're allergic to shellfish
           squids aren't shellfish
       Mike, don't you think that's a little shellfish of you
           no it's a big shellfish
       PASSES
       $3 to jwatzman, he shall chair
   motion create Flappy Squid, the game
       dilatory
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the event
       PASSES
   motion to add squid to the category of shellfish
       it's a good idea
       PASSES

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       Capture the Flag with Stuff
       Friday at 7:00 in DH 2315
       Judges' meetings 5:30, today, in here, and 4:30, Thursday in DH 1217
           you should come if you want to be a judge
           going to a meeting is required if you haven't judged before
   Wednesday through Friday we're tabling
       we need help with it
       there will be flyers and flags that people bring back
           if someone brings you a flag, give them some candy
       we need people from 1:30 to 6:00 on Wedsnesday, and 9:00 to 6:00 the other days
       sign up via Facebook, guys. There's a googledoc on the page.
   clothes
       sweatshirts are here, there are extras
       there may also be CtFwS t-shirts there
           $10 for members $15 for non-members
   we are now in purple
   Booth!
       There are construction builds EVERY WEEK at noon, in the Kage. This does not change.
       There are also art builds starting this week in the Kage at 5:30!
       Priming will occur at all builds because we need to prime real bad
           wear paintable clothes
   pay Dillon for stuff

SCHMUCKS

   second seagull second
       what did you just say to me?
       fuck
   where the fuck did Bubbles come from