Minutes20150427

OFFICER REPORTS

   Mike
       had a weekend
       involved lots of pigments going into lots of hair (or getting stripped out)
       and panicking about ochem
       
   Skye
       had a weekend
       started with USA
       on sat there was an email: surprise! exam on monday
       it was great
       
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       also started with USA
           ed needs to put images up
       won google games!
       (one)
       sunday went to this cool house with music players and secret passageways and stuff
       EVENT
           LDOC Picnic
           Leaving from UC Black chairs Friday @ 5:00pm -> Farpark
           Food! Frisbee! Parachute!
               there are usually burgers if we're outside
           (rainplan PHA18*)
       OTHER EVENT
           Mafia Night
           Weds May 6, leaving from Black chairs @fivish (we'll let you know)
           Gonna get italian food and be mob bosses
               (at bucca di beppo)
           RSVP BY END OF LDOC PICNIC to any ov:
               events@cmukgb.org
               2vp@cmukgb.org
               dlareau@cmu.edu
           (dress fancy)
               
   Erin
       had a weekend
       went overbudget at USA
       saturday probably did tech things
       sunday did more tech things
           DS loadin and acapella show at the SAME TIME
       no homeword done
       no pravda!
       (submit to pravda)
   
   Zora
       had a weekend
       did what dillon and mike did, also typing is hard
   
   Joe
       had a weekend
       started with USA which was quite the experience
       followed by 4 hours of 240
       followed by GUTS
       there was a lot of 240, and sometimes sleep
   
   Murphy
       had a weekend
       started with the event
       went to GUTS
           everything was amazing!
       oh my god murphy when do you do homework

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   i had a weekend committee
       mari has purple hair!
   
   expresidential mentoring
       impending trial by fire
   
   forgetful exec
       the best defense is a good offense
   
   proxy report by spencer the bear
       abandoned, bought, returned to tech
   
   misap booth
       propose namechange for kgb
           go by soviet student association
           RAUCOUS APPLAUSE
       
   constitutional revisionism
       oh my god ed so many bylaws changes
   
   conspiricy theory
       someone has invaded exec
   
   google games blew googles circuit breaker
   
   frieder can now disable his phones's alarm from his wrist
   
   unreasonably too far tall tales
       rich guy in the 80s built a weird house
       would introduce his girlfriend as hitler's daughter. why.
       
   catspiracy
       don't worry about it
   
   joe is dillon
   
   shadow corporation
       we have your money
       (y'all voted for him)
       jeffery requests their tax returns
   
   catspiracy
       have you ever seen dillon and joe in the same room?
   
   the filibuster committee has a--dilatory

OLD BUSINESS

   The Thing!
       the damage that has come to the necklace to the thing is not murphy's fault this week

NEW BUSNESS

   wombat committee: to leave erik's mark on the kgb
       change name to wombutt
           PASSES
   PASSES
   $4 to erik, disbanded
   
   dictatorial shadow council for life: tho it already exists bc joe took their money, frieder and marlena are in charge here
       PASSES
       $9 to Marlena, she and frieder and stuart will chair
   
   inintentional ventriloquism: when you try to say something and someone else says it
       there's no rule saying a dog can't second their own committee
       mike doesn't understand puppies
       replace all dog with wombat
           (objection, tiny puppy)
       motion to retrain mike to like dogs
           ...dilatory
       ed no
       we're tabling it?
       okay. oh until we allocate dollars for a dog
   
   motion to allocate $50 for a dog
       counterproposal: get adam blank to buy a dog instead so josh shuts up
   PASSES
   
   forgetful exec:
       annalise, socal (shitsville palmdale??), civil and environmental engineering, likes watching netflix
       mark, NJ, econ & CS, wears a lot of gray shirts
   
   kgb watches disney movies: cmu is hard
       frieder made a let it go joke
       can include dreamworks and pixar movies if erin has them on dvd and likes them
       a baddddd pun battle happened when I wasn't paying attention
   PASSES
   $4 to Erin, anybody who shows up to watch disney movies with her will chair
   
   committee something something hellweek: sharing stories about hellweek
       afalk submitted homeworks through blackboard instead of email. they were not recieved.
   PASSES
   $1 to frieder, he and person with best hellweek story will chair
   
   just enough to get a phd: to learn how much you need to know about a subject to SEEM like you have a phd
       committee made redundant by sully and tom strong
       you cannot just do this for art history
           they know
           they know the things you do not know
           and they will laugh at you
       everything changed when the roccoco nation attacked
       modern art is not what you think it is
   PASSES
   $1 to afalk, anyoen who'll be here for more than 4 years
   
   steven no
   
   appeals; to appeal the decision of the chair
       mike is not an apple
       does this involve creating a kgb appeals court
       motion to make it a secret, secret court
           sure
       motion to give secret court a secret exec
           dilatory
       motion to change to secret knight court
           sure
       motion to give the secret appeals court a secret police force
           eh
       motion to appeal the chair's decision to call on josh
           3, 2, 1, fuck you josh
   PASSES
   $1 to ed, he will chair
   
   kgbottlecaps: take all existing bottlecaps out of holes in wean and replace them with kgbottlecaps
       change name to kgbuttlecaps
           PASSES
       we'd need tall people
       we can rebrand the existing ones
           but it's a lot of work
       change all wean with "that place with the sun don't shine, aka wean"
       motion to tear down wean and rebuild it from the bottom up
           (yes)
           building a giant boot that is in the shape of wean
       kgbutts approves
       weanbot is an ephemeral spirit
           it cannot be destroyed
       motion to replace challenge coins with bottlecaps
           out of order
           (but no)
   PASSES
   $2 to skye, she and anyone who will help her will chair
   
   motion to create a standing rule that "sorry zora" can also mean "friendly"
       are we still in discusion of this
       apparently yes
   PASSES
   
   staaaaaaaahp: staaaaaaahp
       how long is that vowel
           like 7
           please stop asking
       motion to change porpoise to "goooooooo"
           FAILS
       can it be 8 vowels?
       kgb is airhorns and babies
   PASSES
   $2 to erin, she and anyone else who tells people to stop when they have gone too far
   
   allocation not to exceed $150 for supplies for the event
       PASSES
   
   yolo light: when you see a yellow light and you REALLY need to get through it
       change name to strip driving
           not friendly
           there was context for this i swear
           FAILS
       append to name "and the red light district"
           PASSES
       ed figured out how to get from the airport without stopping
           ...oh no
       append "sorry zora" to purpose
           FAILS
       going down the helix in a wheel chair seemed like a good idea
           steven has his hand on the brake the whole time
           (yolo LITE)
   $1 to murphy, he will chair
   
   crystal gems: you heard it here first, folks
       erik's team was the wombat's, steven's was the crystal gems
       everyone in the kgb whould have both a gemsona AND a wombatsona
       change crystal gem to crystal butts
           PASSES
       cleavage
           (butt cleavage)
   PASSES
   $3 to erin, anyone with a butt
   
   eye backflip: when eyerolling just isn't enough
       motion to create the iBackflip
       stuart sees what you did there
           he said eye
           but
           you know
   PASSES
   $1 to steven, sam will chair
   
   i am not a crook: you were all there, there was an election, marlena was not impeached
       we have a lot of nixon committees
       remove all instances of not
           FAILS
       replace all instances of crook with "bugmars"
           FAILS
       dicks of game theorists: you think you're not a crook, but that cool life hack you just found is called FRAUD
           cool life hack: BREAK THE LAW
       we are now in purple
   PASSES
   $3 to frieder, marlena, he and anyone who DIDN'T commit a crime today
   
   dickish game theorists committee: that cool hack you found is TOTALLY FRAUD
       everyone is laughing at dicks and butts
       dickbutts
       dickbutt
       dickbutt
   PASSES
   $1 to frieder, all AEpi will chair
   
   this committee is gross and also i didn't hear what steven said: something something lies?
       change name to "wholesome"
           PASSES
       the bad prostitutions committee has enough money to take you down
   PASSES
   $1 to stuart, people who come to advertise for us next semester will chair
   
   sleeper agent: somebody here brought a nerf gun. just sayin.
       change name to "kaffinateGB"
       meghan's last name is kaffine
           that's it that's the whole joke
   PASSES
   $1 to murphy, disbanded
   
   mike is a neckbeard: the hat
       noooooooooo
       erin can crochet them a neckbeard
       hi my name is tips, tips fedora
   FAILS

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       LDOC Picnic
       Leaving from UC Black chairs Friday @ 5:00pm -> Farpark (bartlett shelter)
       Food! Frisbee! Parachute!
           there are usually burgers if we're outside
       (rainplan PHA18*)
   OTHER EVENT
       Mafia Night
       Weds May 6, leaving from Black chairs @fivish (we'll let you know)
       Gonna get italian food and be mob bosses
           (at bucca di beppo)
       RSVP BY END OF LDOC PICNIC to any ov:
           events@cmukgb.org
           2vp@cmukgb.org
           dlareau@cmu.edu
       (dress fancy)
   
   dinner!
       we get dinner at resnik after meetings! come eat with us

SCHMUCKS

   dickbutt
   
   erin has WEH 5328 on wednesday!
       watch disney movies!
   
   sign mari's yearbook!
       especially if you're leaving and you're not gonna be here next year
   
   from friday evening through a couple weeks after that there's gonna be a senior art show!
       go see marlena on friday from 6 to 8!
   
   dance thing on f...riday?
       dancer's symposium
   
   back to the future marathon
       it's 2015
       message skye

motion to purple and GTFO