Minutes20151116

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OFFICER REPORTS

   Mike
       had a weekend
       oSTEM! Don't invite the straight guy to give the keynote at a queer conference
       
   Skye
       had a weekend
       probably did something my computer is terrible
       
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       panicked about ctfws and then didn't panic about ctfws
       EVENT
           GBGC
           7:00 friday PH A18*
           come watch exec be exhausted
       
   Erin
       had a weekend
       computer very sad
   
   Zora
       had a weekend
       it was Nice
       saturday went to the matteress factory and got sucked into The Orb
           then kicked a puzzle room's ass
           then got hot pot
           then fell asleep
       sunday worked for 12 hours straight on NOT HOMEWORK (yikes)
           then crushed another puzzle room
       and today they LAUNCHED THE PDF OF DATES
       (can you tell i wrote this ahead of time)
   
   Joe
       had a weekend
       discovered a thing:
           if you try to teach people category theory at an r7 party,
           someone WILL bring up haskel's monads, and then you'll be lost
               (haskel's gonads)
           also, tim parenti is our sober savior
       puns!
   
   Murphy
       had a weekend
       started with ctfws
           where he drove himself so physically hard that he thought he was delirious
       then r7
           afterwards, he wandered home while mildly drunk and started listening to a mountain goats album
           and he was REALLY DIGGING the mountain goats
           so he just. walked around oakland for four miles (while livetexting frieder)
               he also wasn't wearing his glasses
                   didn't matter, he was kind of drunk
               he creepertexted people when he passed their houses
           then around 5 he swung by buggy
           and went home
           and went to sleep
   

OLD BUSINESS

   the Thing!
       failure to get into courses or software failure is not ed's fault this week

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   swear of the week
       BUGLETAINT
   
   ad hoc registration committee
       don't be drew
       (craig was drew)
       mike needed to register, so they went into a cluster
           and then another guy walked in and was like "i teach a class in here"
           and mike DID NOT LEAVE
   
   mildly disgruntled committee
       why are there no outlets in here
   
   committee to not burn down r7
       continued lack of failure
   
   murphy's class committee
       (who even knows what this was actually called)
       there WERE three
       now there are two
   
   ship jokes
       more like the nina, the pinta, and the uncontrolled racist colonialism
   
   booth!
       meetings are 1:30 on sunday in PH A18B!
       

back to OFFICER REPORTS

   skye
       new people
           jack, cs, boise, plays tf2

NEW BUSINESS

   motion to the left
       dilatory
   
   assaassins: to come up with increasingly silly variants for the game of assassins
       aepi is doing it with ducks
       the donner house assassins game is still going
       ravelry has smth called sock assassins
           you knit socks to  send to people
           if you get socks, you mail your unfinished ones
       something something wearing ducks?
       variant of assassins where you get a target and you have to KILL them
   PASSES
   $5 to frieder, frieder will chair
   
   committee for the ed of intl grad students about the fence: that's not how the fence works, grad students
       a polish guy came and hung out with KGB for a while
           not tim's polish guy
       craig's group once took a rando hostage when he mentioned he wanted to paint the fence
           they made him help them finish
       mackie straight REFUSED some international grad students
       when skye and co took the fence for booth last feb, it was FROZEN
           some grad students wandered over and POURED something on it, so it was MORE FROZEN
       indirection and misdirection committee approves
       this last week when kgb painted the fence, the donner people would not let up
           ed and skye bureaucracied those suckers
           but they came BACK when joe was sleeping in the tent
               (and did not succeed)
           if they had ever gotten to mike, mikes response would have been
               "sorry, we don't give up the fence"
               (ever)
           the donner folk are bad at debate
       important to note: if you paint the fence at midnight on a thursday and think people wn't snipe it, you are wrong
           scotch and soda WILL
           they are angry, tired, and have unlimited paint
       allies continues to have a ridiculous chain of grad students
   PASSES
   $1 to murphy, anyone but frieder will chair
   
   committee that fails for lack of second: reverse psychology works on the kgb
       motion to table for 27 hours
       PASSES
   tabled
   
   peer reviewed friendship: to finally believe you have a friend who lists you as such in their thesis
       it's to establish friendship based on peer reviewed publications
       this is gonna make elementary school fights much more interesting
       urdish numbers are just gonna become even more of a satus symbol than they already are
   PASSES
   $1 to glenn, anyone who has actually verified personal relationships based on peer reviewed publications
   
   eternal skrillex: joe has had one song playing in his head forever
       soooolidarity forever soooolidarity forever
           joe beatboxes
       change name to "eternal smashmouth"
           passes
       change purpose to "making a new neil c album that's just smashmouth and skrillex"
           fails
       change purpose to "making a mashup of the wii shop music and skrillex"
           passes
       change purpose to "making a mashup of the smashmouth, wii shop music and smashmouth"
           passes
   PASSES
   $1 to Frieder, disbanded (skrillex doesn't exist)
   
   perfectly normal uncle: sqiduncle, definitely just a normal uncle
       it's an octodad joke
       change name to "the uncle parable: wow i get to follow an uncle around all day"
           passes
       on the topic of octodad
           hatoful boyfriend has an official kickstarter
               they're selling birds???? what
           we should put pigeons in the booth
       ed just got a phone call and crawled out the window
   passes
   $1 to craig, anyone who's actually an animal in disguise
   
   motion to educate the chair about who's on the executive board
       fails
   
   motion to erase the hard drive
       dilatory
   
   detective heart of kbg: fug
       change fug to bugmars
           PASSES
       change purpose to slamzone
           PASSES
       motion to. what.
           dilatory
           oh it was the plot
           IT'S GONE NOW
       chagne all u to bugmars
           passes
       change all non u to bugmars
           passes
       joe: "out of order, fuck off"
       motion to buy the kgb an apache attack helicopter
           out of order
           wait weren't we promised attack helicopters by someone's exec speech?
               (it may have been mike)
   PASSES
   $1 to ed, disbanded
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the event
   PASSES
   
   tabletop athiesm: fuck you and your eldritch lightening
       motion to table for one hour
           PASSES
   tabled
   
   replace the chair with someone who'll buy the kgb an attack helicopter
       dilatory
   
   skyes service for political favors: skye has ten political favors. what do you want
       can we ask for more political favors
           no
       can we ask for an apache attack helicopter
           of COURSE
       motion to redact "political"
           passes
       change redacted to "bigger blacker bar"
           passes
       change skye to "black bar"
           passes
       change favors to "biggest blackest bar"
           passes
   PASSES
   $13 to ed; ed, erin, skye, tim, and the CAH makers
   
   ed and frieder learn how to count: who want it
       frieder does
   PASSES
   $4 to frieder, frieder and murphy will chair
   
   general chaos: just all around chaos
       isn't this made redundant by the committee as a whol
       change purpose to "which one am i"
           passes
       an action: dillon swings the table
           the chair has not been detabled
       motion to retable the chair
           so moved
       motion to replace the chair with many many tables
       motion to record the laughtrack of the kgb lauhging
           so we can use it instead of actually laughing
       motion to rename frieder murphy and murphy frieder
           out of order
       motion to make a standing rule that the pronunciation of "murphy" is "frieder"
           out of order
       change purpose to "to make a standing order that the pronunciation of "murphy" is "frieder""
           passes
       motion to gtfo before we all make staning rules we regret
           out of order but like. wise.
   PASSES
   $5 to murphy, frieder will chair
   motion to make the pronunciation of murphy frieder and frieder murphy
   PASSES
   
   good thing we just say their names and don't actually pronounce the words their names are
   
   motion to make all standing rules made at this meeting sit down
       PASSES
   
   motion to spoontinudigu
       YEEEEAH
   
   motion to create a standing rule that everyone in the kgb has the same name
       the committee to rename everyone in the kgb "reese" approves
       motion to make this a committee
           done??
       motion to make this committee a member of the KGB
           passes
       MOTION to make the purpose of this committee "name everyone worms"
           fails
       motion to make a purpose for this committee
           what will be it's purpose
           just an underscore
       motion to name all michaels dillon and all dillons michael
           FAILS
       misap j bonaparte committee approves
       motion to delete name but leave purpose
           dilatory
           bc mike felt like it
       motion to change whatever the fuck we're in to the "fuck it, we'll do it live" committee
           PASSES
   PASSES
   $10 to ed, ab tech will chair

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       GBGC
       7:00, Friday, PH A18*
       bring your cards & your boreds
   
   shirts
       order form is out
       it is DUE this tuesday at 7pm
       if you haven't filled it out, fill it out!
       cmukgb.org/shirts
       comepartywiththe.party/ordershirts

SCHMUCKS

   light up night
       there's a party downtown
       go with skye?
   
   brunch
       brunch is fun with erin
       schatz at 10:30 on sunday
   
   thanksgiving thing in rangos today
       follow mari
   
   itr
       this weekend!
       like ctfws but less. less everything
           still really fun
       10pm saturday wean 4
       
   baking
       nick will sell things by slice and tiny bag of cookies
       there's a website! talk to nick
           nickspastriesandcakes.weebly.com

we are now in purple