Minutes20160418

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EXEC REPORTS

   Mike
       had a weekend
       had a week
       had a year
       had a THREE YEARS
       (snaps)
       it's been great
           they're honored
       they have notes
       it's been great to be a part of this
           really excited about where they see the org going
       it was a lot of fun but a lot of work but ultimately worth it
   
   Skye
       had a weekend
       had a year
       fuck what she did WE WON BOOTH
   
   Dillon
       had a weekend sure did
       did booth and buggy and oh god so much more
       also had a wonderful three years with you people
       EVENT
           Bake barter!
               Friday, ALL DAY (10-5), Doherty table
               bring baked goods to barter! there will be a signup sheet!
               bring stuff to barter for baked goods! no signup sheet here
                   but for reals bring your crap
                   no pencils, paper, perishables, or sheet metal
           USA
               friday, 7pm, DH2315
               buy people's stuff for cheap!
   
   Erin
       had a weekend and a year
       and another two years of not being an officer
       it's been fun!
           y'all actually submitted to pravda a couple times
       we got junk mail
       don't submit pravda to her
   
   Zora
       had a weekend and a year
       a three years
       let's start with the weekend
           booth
           also scary 
       ohhhh my god what a year
   
   Joe
       had a weekend and a year
       done some things
       kept some pretty meticulous records
           is currently scrambling to prove that there's a really low upper bound on how much he's embezzled
           we took in 66 kgbitcoin this semester
               really really good
               not worth anything
   
   Murphy
       had a carnival
       it was carnival stuff
           booth!
           r7!
           fucked with kickstarter
           watched some curling
           teardown was fun in a masochistic way
               not a sadistic way
               that would be weird
       had a fantastic year
           s@a is one of his fave memories from college
       

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   BOOTH
       booooooooooooooooooooooooth
       if you have hard hats please give them to craig
           he has a bag
       everything happened
       we won
       we didn't get fined
           we were within 8 minutes and then they added TWO HOURS TO THE DEADLINE
   
   retroactive timetravel
       worms fucked up
           he was the downtiem
       your decisions today were...interesting
   
   abtech
       1: putting a lot of music turns a ceremony into a party
       2: there was no truck
   
   CHALLENGE
       
   motion ot disband aepi
   
   an artist on octodad liked our booth!
   
   the committee to burn down r7
       continued lack of failure
   
   is this film club?
   
   

OLD BUSINESS

   the Thing!
       nightmare screws are not sonia's fault this week

we are now in purple

ELECTIONS

   elections have started so technically i'm not recsec anymore but i'm keeping track out of the GOODNESS OF MY HEART
   
   PRESIDENT
       candidates:
           skye
               loves the kgb
               there's a lot to being president
                   but you should never pass up a chance to laugh at this face
               it's v important that people feel comfortable
           joe
               did treasurer this past year
               really cares about the org
               has a lightup hat
               didn't embezzle much
           murphy
               really cares about the org
               wanted to be on exec this year to contribute
               now wants to step up
               will...definitely have the time
           harry
               is a freshman so won't be president
               wanted to make a speech like he was gonna be president
               is also running for another position that he cares about
                   you'll see him in a bit
       SKYE WINS
       
   1 VEEP
       candidates
           dylan
               is really sleep deprived because booth and essay exam
               1vp = yelling at people until they come to events
                   until they get embarassed on his behalf
               he was a booth chair. he has experience
           joe
               hi he's the kgb, who are you?
               thinks we're all cool except worms
                   is engendering a spirit of fellowship and harmony among members
                   i typed that right, he quoted it wrong
           murphy
               platform is the same as it was last year
               the university seems to think he's the VP of student affairs
                   so he knows what it's like to be a VP
       DYLAN WINS
   
   2 VEEP
       candidates
           murphy
               this is what we call the slightly shorter con
               this is the position he wants!
               much experience running things
                   and with money and reimbursements
               cares about the KGB
           joe
               is here to pretend we have we have a democratic process
               and help us thingk we haven't already decided to relegate him to treasurer for 7 years
       MURPHY WINS
   
   CORSEC
       candidates
           maddy
               booth chaired
               made all the tshirts
               designed the activity book
                   (can make many tiny things in large quantities)
               has unlimited free color printing
           rin
               really really likes the kgb
               writes and is an officer for read me
                   is very funny
               if we elect her we won't have to listen to her stumble through another awkward speech today
       RIN WINS    
   
   RECSEC
       candidates
           nika
               met the kgb at scav hunt
               first community that she feels she belongs to
               wants to do something for us, and she can type
           harry
               brought in the keyboard that could be the typing machine of the future
               and then he pulled the broman lounge
               kind of a good typist, knows his way around emojis
       HARRY WINS 
   
   TREASURER
       candidates
           Jack
               Jack votes for joe maybe???
           Joe
               Joe has confidence that's good
               He definitely does not embezzle
               He didn't embezzle the $82 he should have embezzled
       JOE WINS
   S@A
       candidates
           Nika
               They will quote "cut a bitch" and have many knives
               Can also sell shirts
           Jack
               Will redistribute the wealth
           Cliff
               Will get things done fast
               Did not platform
               Can pick things up and put them down
               Cliff picked up a stool
               The stool made it to the ground
           Espy
               Was not here
       NIKA WINS
       
                   
   stories
       brian:
           we don't know anything about skye's campaign finances
       frieder
           frieder tried to disband the kgb at aepi
           they failed
           someone messaged skye to ask if that was a thing
       nick
           so carnival was this weekend and they work retail
           so many drunk. so many.
           two drunk girls managed to make their way into the back room and were sick in the dumpster
           not a great middle of the day
       mike
           owen is nice
       harry
           1: his platform was rainbow colored
           2: harry brought friends in full fursuits to greggo's concepts lecture
               greggo made a Face
       bswolf (he old)
           when he was in kgb someone made a pun committee
               which was immediately renamed the bswolf memorial committee
           here we go
               there's a smart tactician and a fool tactician (with barbarians)
               the smart tactician got wrecked
           here goes the pun
               "cooler heads shall prevail"
           check murphy's page on the wiki
       erin
           two of you fuckers have her scissors
           walks off midway at 3:30 on thursday, very tired
           suddenly, meg and joe mertz SPRINT out of the trailer yelling for ems
               ems is suitably alarmed
           there are two INCREDIBLY intoxicated people stumbling across midway
               by the time ems gets there, the people have left midway
                   but the midway ems couldn't leave midway
               eventually other ems caught up with them
           apparently 3:30 is lsd time
       worms
           was once a boy scout
               once there was a time when worms was small
           went on a HIGH ADVENTURE
               aka mostly sitting on a boat for a week
           the captain: you wanna catch some sharks"
               the kids: ABSOLUTELY WHY NOT
               they caught some sharks
                   28 inch shark FLAILS
                       captian chuckles
                       boy scouts try to catch the shark to measure it
                   40 inch shark
                       one boy: holding shark by tail
                       skark: SWINGING LIKE A PENDULUM
           they won the shark fight
               reward: plastic paddle (first shark size)
                   was immediately broken
       skye
           setting: 2008, TOC.
               the liemann brothers had a booth
                   they had just gone bankrupt, but the booth was still there
               some kgb members thought this was a great idea
                   best suits, fake glasses, looked like dicks
                   they collected resumes for the FULL DAY
               a few days later, one of them was approached by a student
                   "hey. i didn't hear from you. i expected an interview"
               so they HELD INTERVIEWS
                   they chose who to interview by chucking the resumes backwards down the stairs
           FAST FORWARD
               two kgb adjacents pretended to be occulus
               they did great
               the university freaked out
               occulus thought it was hilarious
                   and now one of those people works for occulus AND TABLED FOR THEM WHILE STILL A STUDENT
       glenn
           remember: he's very good at understanding emotions
           glenn is a pilot, learned to fly during undergrad
           flew towards death valley (he was already in california)
               got to fly over a huge dry lake bed
           flew over, got brunch, refueled, took off
               but the plane was making funny noises
               had to divert to a lake that would be in the middle of nowhere if it wasn't stuck between two restricted zones
               a mechanic looked at it, but it was fine
               buuuuut it was dark so they couldn't fly back (but someone brought them home)
           this is when glenn learned that, when you're trying to reassure a passenger about a problem they don't know about
               DON'T start by pointing out all the nice dry lakebeds they could use as landing spots
       joe
           bylaws edgecase
               There is a week where there are no exec members since they haven't attended their first meeting after paying (can we fix that)
           Joe STILL hasn't embezzled
       Frieder
           He's gonna make the bylaws hell
           We accidentally the bylaws
           There's an infinite loop with voting at elections
       beeswolf
           Was the secret 8th exec member (THERE ARE MORE EXEC POSSIBILITIES???)
           High school friend named Faith named kids Hope & Chance
           They like nouns but not sharing
           
           
   

NEW BUSINESS

   Motion to salute exec from Jeff
   
   Ed motioned to make the shitty jpeg artifacts committee
   
       Worms wants to know where our attack helicopters are
       
       Ed motions to salute all current and former presidents in the room
       
       Someone motioned to salute everyone else
       
       That passed
   
       Sold to Ed for $3 to the proctors
       
   Brian maybe made a motion?
       
       It passed
       
   BSwolf has a job committee
       
       It passed
       
       Bswolf bought it for $21 to alumni


   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for food and supplies for the event
   
       It was not acclamated
       
       It passed tho
   
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $500 for the exec discretionary fund
   
       passed by acclamation
       
   Joe motions to set dues to $15 for one semester $20 for one year
       
       passed by acclamation
       
   Joe report
       we didn't lose a lot of money
       We spent like $400 and got clothes
       We have ~$3000 for next year
       66 kgbitcoins a lot of pennies and a fake $100 bill
       The KGB has no owencoin
       
   The KGB was given 5 owencoin
   
   Erin motioned to get her scissors back
   
   Frieder invokes article 13 of the bylaws
       disillusion!
       also out of order

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       Bake barter
           friday, all day, table outside doherty
           bake things, trade things, be merry
       USA
           friday, 7pm, DH 2315
           auction party
           
       Murphy goes down (This will live on)
       
   BOOTH
       Bring hard hats to the booth committee
       We stole lumber
       
   EXEC
       meeting at wednesday 6:30 UC306
       stay here
   

SCHMUCKS

   Bswolf is finishing his story
       hope give chance a peace
       
   Owen is clustering in gates 3000
       get rid of the things
       
   Proctors say thank you
   
   Brian wants to keep up enboothiasm
       help him collabs
       
   Nick is a student again :D
   
   Give back pens
   
   Mari has a yearbook