KGB Wiki - User contributions [en]

User:Jboning

2017-01-20T23:29:03Z

Jboning:

Arg blarg. I am [[jboning]].

Also known as jblanket and the [[Hero of the People]]

Fought in the [[Great Server Move of 2011]]; also the [[Glorious MediaWiki Upgrade]] of the same year.

I delete the spam. Please don't take away my admin privileges. Thanks!

[[Category:Minutes Wanker]]

User:Jboning

2012-01-01T03:30:21Z

Jboning:

User:Jboning

2011-12-31T23:12:42Z

Jboning:

Arg blarg. I am [[jboning]].

Also known as jblanket and the [[Hero of the People]]

Fought in the [[Great Server Move of 2011]]

[[Category:Minutes Wanker]]

Minutes20090302

2011-10-19T20:57:06Z

Jboning: Reverted edits by Parrishcartwright (Talk); changed back to last version by Dbesse

=Officer Reports=

==Jared==

Life is aaaah! Happy about mechatronics on Friday. Got the thing moving. Solenoid died on them. Shuffled in mortal coil. Stuff about springs.
Life is aaaah!

==Glisson==
You think that is creepy? Ben Wolf is spying on...

Weird dream. Running down the hallway, heard hall of the mountain queen. Ran faster, got louder. Eventually had to turn around and face the music.

No New People

Zombies at CMU went really well.

==Carolyn==
Brain is not so much. Weekend involved parents. Clusterrave was awesome. Show with juggling was awesome. Booth was awesome. EVENT! Movie night. Cause its break. Bring movies and watch them. Carolyn will be in Sunny California laughing at all of us.

Talking with Ballroom dancing team. All different kinds of dancing, one building had a bunch of the dance things. International competition on first floor, latin on 2nd, Irish on 3rd. Guy comes in "Is this Irish?" They were like "No, Irish is the third floor" he was like "The Jig is Up"

==Ntr==
Weekend. Spider bite. Almost gone. Levitated magnets. LiNi. Got everywhere. Was really cool.

Built a baseball field. Diamond in the rough.

==Drew==
Too many hearts.

Heifers are a load of bull.

==Laura==

Weekend, ice cream, juggling, booth.

Talking with Dad. If a bull gets in a fight in a soccer game, do they give him a red card?

Buy 12 Roombas. And Cats to ride the Roombas.

==Liz==

Weekend! Pretty cool! 6 hours in the call, went to state college. Ice cream too, but hers was better. Need excuse to put cream cheese on everything! Booth stuff! Car company making a new car called the Remington. Heard you like riding in the front seat, so you can ride shotgun in your shotgun.

=Committees=

==Boooooooooooooooooth==
Midway watch shifts. After spring break, will be harassed for watch shifts.

come to booth building stuff! Fiddly art bits. Not fiddly art bits. Painting.

==NOM COM!==
Nominate your friends for things! Email rashar.

President: Labbott
First VP: Liz
2VP: Ablank
Cor Sec: Mander, Bswolf, ssroph
Rec Sec: Jboning, Dkilonsk,
Treasuer: Cbuckey, Krieger, ssroph
S@Arms: Eforney, Derek, Cboyel (not here), Mander
H0tt: Rashar, Dave, Cswayer
Evan: Drew, Dkilonsk, Mander

MORE NEXT WEEK! Email Rashar.

==Douglas Adamas==
Cheesecake flavored cream cheese

==Ben Wolf's Jokes==
5/6ths weeks. Anyone who is not here for meeting after break will be sorry.

==Gratuitous Obscenities==
In State college: State Patty's Day.

Line to one pub passed 5 other pubs

==Ad Hoc x^z==
Sometimes the actual people who memes are about find out. 'Sup dog was basically like "go kill yourself"

==Pop Occultism==
Born with a sixth sense and suburb insight -- all CMU students?
Will read this and see "Jesus! I can come up with better fortunes than that" -- pass back to Ben wolf.
If your cookie is in three pieces the answer is 'no'.
Cannot make two people like each other,
Happiness is not pleasure, its victory -- Alan disagrees
Leaders are readers -- less true before January.

=Old Business=
Rashar has it. Not typing fast enough is his fault.

=New Business=

==$50 For Event==
Passed

==Committee to talk reallyreallyfast==
Power thirst: Sloooooooow doooooown
I can say anything...
Ad Hoc Tree Ent: Disapproves
Time Travel: Doing it wrong
Moses disapproves
Misappropriated Committee to go Fast than the speed of light approves
Rntz picked up the relic of speed!
In Favor: Speak really quickly.
Opposed: Slow now
Abstaining: s/Rntz/brains
$10 to Quxuum. Dannel and Rauhit.

==Jboning is the Hero of the People==
That was Dbesse is the Hero of the People committee, right?
Change to Josiah Boning Memorial Hero of the People Committee.
Slower than you can.
Why are we making him a sandwich?
In Favor: Unexpected
Opposed: A house dived itself cannot stand.
Abstaining: New House
$3 to Dannel. Whoever is hero of the people to chair.

==Anything that is worth saying is worth saying really slowly committee==
Talk really fast disapproves
Treebeard approves.
Rntz.
This is CMU and CMU hates grass. Tree ents are just really big grass. CMU disapproves.
You are little orcs.
Can't stop, have to slow down first.
In Favor: This, but really slowly.
Opposed: Do this, really fast.
Abstaining: Porno squid, medium.
$6 to Dannel. Disbanded.

==If your cookie is in x pieces, your answer is y committee==
Purpose -- cookie in x pieces, answer is y.
Purposed appended to create new and interesting 251 problems.
All of zsparks committees disapprove on basis of 251.
Changed to if your cookie is in c pieces, your answer is y committee.
Ad hoc 251 cookie committee approves
thats the way the cookie crumbles.
Cookies are a sometimes food.
In Favor: meh
Opposed: Velocicookie
Abstaining: Cookie monster.
$7 to someguy. Disbanded.

==Committee of the People==
Purpose -- get a purpose chosen by the last person to change the purpose of the committee.
Question called. Mspindle wins.
In Favor: Do this.
Opposed: Do this.
Abstaining: Do this.
$3 to Mspindle.

==Advise Dog Committee==
Purpose: not browse 4chan.
Ad hoc life approves.
Courage wolf says "You will die for making this committee"
Purpose changed to browse 4chan something something
Changed to the contradiction committee.
Making him miss gopher, thats not easy.
Listen to courage wolf.
Ad loc life no longer approves.
Name changed to the Contra committee.
Contrabass Committee.
Purpose changed to contrabasson.
Contraband.
What do you have against fish?
In Favor: Shout a number
Opposed: wonder how you got here.
Abstain: wonder what a number is.
$12: to Rauhit. Rauhit and Asubrama and that guy to chair and Eforney to chair.

==Committee to Play Music for Children==
Purpose: Play music in exchange for small children.
Won't really fit in his hat.
Hey hits, do you want some candy.
Won't give you up or let you down,
Eforney recently played for children.
How young is Rauhit approves
Once you get the small children, where will you put them?
Load bearing toddlers.
In Favor: Point and laugh at Quxuum
Opposed: Salute the president.
Abstaining: ERROR
$9 to Quxuum. Shawn to chair.

==Committee to Move to Create the Committee==
Purpose: Move to Create it.
Yo dawg...
second...
third?
Purpose changed to "Motion to Change the Purpose".
Turtles all the way down.
Postponed indefinitely? 17 for. 14 against. Postponded.

==Maximal Meme density committee==
Purpose: destroy life.
Richard is awesome.
In Favor: Get it out of your systems.
Opposed: Wine to go with that cheese.
Abstaining: be distracted.
$8 to Quxuum. Dannel and he to chair.

==Motion to Create the Coonerism Spommittee==
Luture the Benglish enguage.
Hoffman Fapproves.
Kuffalo Kuffalo Kuffalo Kuffalo Approves
Bitter CS Major Disapproves.
Misappripated Mumble.
Quall the Cestion.
In Favor: Vote!
Opposed: Start a slow clap.
Abstaining: Complain about how we are never synchronized on anything.
$9 to Ammaresc. Ammaresc. Dannel and a Racoon to chair.

==#define Jboning as "Hero of the People"==
Confusion!
In the future, everyone will have their own jboning.
Passes. Jboning is now "Hero of the People.

=Announcements=

==EVENT!==
breed hall!

==Nominate for Everyone for Exec!==

==PUZZLE HUNT!==
28th! MOAR INFO TO COME! Invited on Facebook. Weird for spaces, but we'll figure it all out.

==To Vote==
Need to be a voting member. So PAY YOUR DUES!

==CTFWS==
Need judges.

=Schmucks=
ESG! Steve on death rituals.

[[Category:Minutes]]

Schmucks

2011-10-19T20:56:14Z

Jboning: Reverted edits by Parrishcartwright (Talk); changed back to last version by Mklip2001

"Schmucks Who Want To Mouth Off" forms the last phase of KGB meetings. This gives people a chance to make announcements that don't pertain to KGB. It is also a good time to motion to [[purple]].

Alternately, look up a dictionary or Urban Dictionary.

Talk:Tbraman

2011-04-19T13:58:16Z

Jboning:

Oh jeez...
[[User:Tbroman|Tbroman]] 00:09, 19 April 2011 (EDT)

<3
[[User:Jboning|Jboning]] 09:58, 19 April 2011 (EDT)

Tbraman

2011-04-19T00:15:46Z

Jboning: EXTREMELY IMPORTANT PAGE I PROMISE

WASSUP BRAH??!!!! You probably wanted [[tbroman|this guy]], brah.

[http://i.imgur.com/yB7wX.jpg Cool story, bro man].

2011 Officers

2011-04-19T00:12:50Z

Jboning: Officers for the 2011-2012 school year

[[President]] - [[eforney|Emily Forney]]

[[First Vice President]] - [[bubbles|Adam "Bubbles" Leibowitz]]

[[Second Vice President]] - [[tvaughan|Timothy Vaughan]]

[[Corresponding Secretary]] - [[mmeyerho|Margaret Meyerhofer]]

[[Recording Secretary]] - [[tbroman|Timothy Broman]]

[[Treasurer]] - [[kharring|Kelly Harrington]]

[[Sergeant at Arms]] - [[cshaffer|Clyde Shaffer]]

{{start box}}
{{succession box|title=[[2011 Officers]]|before=[[2010 Officers]]|after=[[2012 Officers]]}}
{{end box}}

[[category:Officers]]

Bylaws

2011-04-18T07:41:03Z

Jboning: Update with amendments passed on April 18, 2011.

{{true}}

These are the official (but not the canonical) bylaws of the KGB organization. They are very important.

=ARTICLE I. NAME AND OBJECTIVES=

==Section 1. Name==
The name of the organization shall be [[KGB]].

==Section 2. Objectives==
The objectives of the organization shall be:
* to promote a spirit of fellowship among its [[members]].
* to take an active and positive role in campus life.

==Section 3. No Profit==
The organization shall not be conducted or operated for profit and no part of any profits or remainder or residue from dues, donations, or other sources of income to the organization shall inure to the personal benefit of any member or individual.

=ARTICLE II. DEFINITIONS=

==Section 1. Standing Definitions==
The terms defined as follows shall be considered standing definitions:

===a. Majority===
A majority shall be defined as a number greater then one-half (1/2), or fifty percent (50%), of the total.

===b. Organization Quorum===
A quorum of the organization is required in order to hold meetings as set forth in Article IV, Sections 1 and 2, and shall be either a majority of the voting members or seventy-five percent (75%) of the active members.

===c. Board Quorum===
A quorum of the Board is required in order to hold meetings set forth in Article IV, Sections 3, 4, and 5, shall be a majority of the Board members.

===d. Written Petitions===
All written petitions shall bear the signatures of either ten (10) members, or twenty percent (20%) of the voting membership, whichever is greater.

===e. Member in Good Standing===
A [[members|member]] is in good standing whose [[dues]] are current and whose other monetary obligations to the organization are fulfilled
# within sixty (60) days of the obligation's creation, or
# by the Annual Meeting (as defined in Art. VI, Sec. 2)
whichever comes first unless such obligations are created within seven (7) days prior to the Annual Meeting, in which case clause 2 shall not apply.

===f. Voting Member===
A voting [[members|member]] is a member in good standing who has attended at least one (1) previous meeting.

===g. Mailing===
A mailing may be by physical or electronic means. Such mail must be individually addressed to each recipient, and may not only be to a single central bulletin board or other medium.

===h. Active Member===
An active [[members|member]] shall be a voting member who has attended at least one of the three (3) previous regular organization meetings as set forth in Article IV, Section 1 of these bylaws.

===i. [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]]===
The annual meeting is the meeting at which the officers shall be elected for the ensuing year, and at which other significant business is conducted in accordance with these bylaws, and is described in Article VI, Section 2 of these bylaws.

===j. Random Process===
A random process shall be any method of choice which assigns an equal probability of selection to each option.

===k. [[Duck]]===
Anything that looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.

===l. Zombie Dollar===
One zombie dollar is the equivalent of the fee assessed members with a body temperature equal to or less than fifty (50) degrees Fahrenheit, as defined in Article III, Section 2 of these bylaws.

==Section 2. Provisional Definitions==
All terms not previously defined as standing Definitions shall be defined according to the current edition of MERRIAM-WEBSTER'S COLLEGIATE DICTIONARY.

=ARTICLE III. MEMBERSHIP=

==Section 1. [[Members|Membership]]==
Each individual voting member shall have one (1) vote. Each member shall receive one (1) copy of any notices, publications or other distributed documents of the organization.

==Section 2. Becoming a Member==
Any person whose dues have been paid to the Treasurer and whose body temperature is above fifty (50) degrees Fahrenheit shall be considered a member. However, the second requirement can be waived for the fee of six (6) dollars.

==Section 3. [[Dues]]==
Membership dues for the next year shall be suggested annually by the [[Executive Board]] in March, and approved or changed by the voting membership at the April meeting. Dues shall be payable on or before the thirtieth day of September each year.

==Section 4. Termination==
Memberships may be terminated voluntarily:
===a. Resignation===
Any member may resign from the [[KGB|organization]] upon written notice to the [[Recording Secretary]].

===b. Lapsed Memberships===
A membership will be considered as lapsed and automatically terminated if such member's [[dues]] remain unpaid thirty (30) days after the deadline for payment of dues. However, the [[Executive Board]] may grant an additional thirty (30) days grace period to such delinquent [[members]] in exceptional cases. In no case may a person be entitled to vote at any
[[KGB|organization]] [[meetings|meeting]] whose dues are unpaid as of the date of that meeting, or who are sixty (60) days in arrears of other monetary obligations to the organization.

==Section 5. Refund of [[Dues]]==
Membership [[dues]] will not be refunded either wholly or in part for any reason save extreme circumstances as determined by the membership.

==Section 6. Benefits of Membership==
All [[members]] in good standing shall receive all benefits of membership except as stipulated in the bylaws.

=ARTICLE IV. [[Meetings|MEETINGS]] AND VOTING=

==Section 1. Regular Organization [[Meetings]]==
Regular [[meetings]] of the organization shall be held as directed by the Executive Board. Written notice of such meetings shall be mailed to the membership at least six (6) days prior to the date of the first such meeting of each semester by the Corresponding Secretary through the official organization newsletter or by other mailing, as well as upon any change in the announced time.

==Section 2. Special Organization Meetings==
Special [[meetings]] of the organization may be called by the [[President]], or by a majority vote of the members of the [[Executive Board]] who are present and voting at any regular or special meeting of the Board, or by the [[Recording Secretary]] upon receipt of a written petition. Written notice of such [[meetings]] shall be mailed by the [[Corresponding Secretary]] at least three (3) and not more than fifteen (15) days prior to the date of the meeting. Such notice shall state the purpose(s) of the meeting, and no other organization business may be transacted thereat.

==Section 3. Regular [[Executive Board]] [[Meetings]]==
Regular [[meetings]] of the [[Executive Board]] shall be held as directed by the Board, with a minimum of two (2) such meetings per semester. Notice of such [[meetings]] shall be mailed to the membership at least six (6) days prior to the date of the first such meeting of each semester by the [[Corresponding Secretary]] and upon any change in the announced time. Such [[meetings]] shall be closed to non-members of the organization unless the individual(s) should be specifically invited by the [[Executive Board|Board]], in which case the cause for the non-member presence shall be the first order of business, and after which the non-member may be asked to leave the meeting.

==Section 4. Special [[Executive Board]] [[Meetings]]==
Special [[meetings]] of the [[Executive Board]] may be called by the [[President]], or by the [[Recording Secretary]] upon the receipt of a written petition signed by at least three (3) members of the [[Executive Board|Board]]. Notice of such [[meetings]] shall be given to the membership at least five (5) days prior to the meeting. Such notice shall state the purpose of the meeting and no other business may be transacted thereat. In addition, all restrictions in Section 3 of this article shall apply to special meetings of the [[Executive Board|Board]].

==Section 5. Emergency [[Executive Board|Board]] [[Meetings]]==
Emergency meetings of the [[Executive Board|Board]] may be called by the [[President]] or [[1st VP|First Vice-President]] and may be held by phone. Notice of such [[meetings]] shall be given to the officers at least one (1) day prior to the meeting. Any majority decision reached will be entered into the minutes of the next regular [[Exec|Board]] meeting.

==Section 6. Voting==
Each voting [[members|member]] shall be entitled to one (1) vote at any regular meeting of the [[KGB|organization]] at which the member is present. Absentee voting will be permitted only for elections. Absentee ballots must be submitted to all the election proctors at
least twelve (12) hours in advance of the commencement of the [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]], and may be submitted by electronic mail or in person.

=ARTICLE V. [[:category:Officers|OFFICERS]] AND REPRESENTATIVES=

==Section 1. [[Executive Board]]==
The [[:category:officers|officers]] of the [[KGB|organization]] shall constitute the [[Exec|Executive board]]. The power necessary for the general management of the organization's affairs shall be entrusted to the Board, except as follows.

===a. Supremacy of the Organization===
The Board shall be subject to the orders of the organization, and none of its acts shall conflict with action taken by the organization, and the organization may countermand any decision of the board by a majority vote, thus opening up the question for consideration by the organization.

===b. Distribution of Funds===
The Board shall not distribute the organization's funds except as directed by the organization.

==Section 2. [[:category:Officers|Officers]]==
The organization officers, consisting of the following, shall serve in their respective capacities both with regard to the organization and its meetings and the [[Exec|Board]] and its [[meetings]].

===a. [[President]]===
The President shall preside at all [[meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]] and of the [[Exec|Board]], and shall have the duties and powers normally applicable to the office of President in addition to those provided for in these bylaws.

===b. [[1st VP|First Vice-President]]===
The First Vice-President shall be in charge of fellowship and shall actively recruit new [[members]].

===c. [[2nd VP|Second Vice-President]]===
The Second Vice-President shall be in charge of organizing fellowship activities.

===d. [[Corresponding Secretary]]===
The Corresponding Secretary shall have charge of all correspondence pertinent to the [[KGB|organization]] other than the correspondence reserved for the [[Recording Secretary]] and [[Treasurer]]. The Corresponding Secretary shall be the Editor of the organization [[Pravda?|Newsletter]].

===e. [[Recording Secretary]]===
The Recording Secretary shall keep a record of all [[meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]] and of the [[Exec|Board]] and of all matters of which a record shall be ordered by the organization. The Recording Secretary shall keep a roll of the [[members]] of the organization with applicable information, including attendance at meetings of the general body; furthermore, the Recording Secretary shall carry out such other duties as are prescribed in these bylaws, and shall have the duties and powers normally applicable to the office of Secretary, except for those duties and powers assigned to another officer by these bylaws. In the absence of the Recording Secretary, the duties and powers thereof shall be executed by the Corresponding Secretary, or in the absence thereof, the most senior officer present not presiding over the meeting.

===f. [[Treasurer]]===
The Treasurer shall collect and receive all [[Treasury|moneys]] due or belonging to the organization, and shall deposit the same in a bank satisfactory to the [[Exec|Board]], in the name of the [[KGB|organization]]. The Treasurer's books shall be open at all times to the inspection of the Board, and the Treasurer shall report to the Board and the general [[members|membership]] at every meeting the condition of the organization's finances. At the [[annual meeting]], the Treasurer shall render an account of all moneys received and expended during the previous fiscal year. During the month of September the Treasurer shall mail to each member a statement of [[dues]] for the ensuing year. The Treasurer shall disperse funds as directed by the Executive Board. The Treasurer shall also be responsible for filing all financial forms applicable to the organization. In the absence of the Treasurer, the [[Recording Secretary]] shall record allocations made or debts incurred by or to the organization; however, the Recording Secretary shall not disburse or collect moneys, unless authorized so to do by the Board.

===g. [[Sergeant at Arms|Sergeant-at-Arms]]===
The Sergeant at Arms shall assist in preserving order as the chair may direct, and other duties as set forth in the standing rules of order.

==Section 3. [[:category:officers|Officer]] Requirements==
All Officers of the [[KGB|organization]] shall be voting [[members]] who are [[Activities fee|Activities Fee]]-paying students.

==Section 4. Vacancies==
Any vacancy of an [[:category:Officers|officer]] position occurring on the [[Exec|Board]] during the year shall be filled for the unexpired term of office by a majority vote of all the remaining members of the Board by the second regular [[meetings|meeting]] of the board following the creation of such vacancy.

==Section 5. Recall of [[:category:Officers|Officers]]==
Any officer may be recalled for misconduct or dereliction of duty. A written petition, stating the reason(s) for recall, shall be filed with the [[Exec|Board]]. Written notice of such a petition shall be mailed to the membership. At the next regular [[meetings|meeting]] at least six (6) days after the mailing, a hearing on the matter will be held and a two-thirds (2/3) vote will be required to sustain the recall.

==Section 6. Seniority==
Seniority of offices is: [[President]], [[1st VP|First Vice-President]], [[2nd VP|Second Vice-President]], [[Corresponding Secretary]],
[[Recording Secretary]], [[Treasurer]], and [[Sergeant at Arms|Sergeant-at-Arms]].

=ARTICLE VI. [[KGB|ORGANIZATION]] YEAR, [[Annual meeting|ANNUAL MEETING]], [[Elections|ELECTIONS]]=

==Section 1. [[KGB|Organization]] Year==
The organization's fiscal year shall begin on the first day of September and end on the thirty-first day of August. The organization's official year shall begin immediately at the conclusion of the [[elections|election]] at the [[annual meeting]] and shall continue
through the election at the next annual meeting.

==Section 2. [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]]==
No later than the last meeting in the month of December the [[Exec|board]] shall set the date for the Annual Meeting. The annual meeting shall be held in the month of April of each year. At the Annual Meeting the Officers for the ensuing year shall be elected by
secret, written ballot from among those nominated in accordance with Section 4 of this article. They shall take office immediately upon the conclusion of the election and each retiring [[:category:Officers|officer]] shall relinquish all properties and records relating to that office within fifteen (15) days after the [[elections|election]].

==Section 3. [[Elections]]==
The color of elections shall be [[purple]].

===a. Proctors===
For the duration of the [[elections]] at the [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]], a set of at least three proctors shall preside and keep order at the meeting. Ballots shall be counted by at least two proctors. Proctors shall be ineligible to run in that year's elections. Proctors shall be voting members of the organization except as discussed in section VI.3.b.

===b. Normal Proctor Selection===
At least two weeks prior to the [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]], a slate of at least three consenting [[members]] shall be nominated as proctors at a meeting of the [[Exec|Board]]. A member shall not be nominated if any member of the Board objects. At any meeting of the general body thereafter prior to the Annual Meeting, the slate may be modified or approved by a two-thirds (2/3) vote. At any such time, if it has not yet approved a slate of proctors, the organization may elect to request proctors from an external source with a two-thirds (2/3) vote.

===c. Emergency Proctor Selection===
If, at the Annual Meeting, less than three approved proctors are in attendance, the [[members|general body]] shall again have the opportunity to modify and approve the slate of proctors. If no proctors have yet been approved, after at least two failed votes to approve the current slate of proctors the chair may declare an impasse. In such an impasse, five present members not presently nominated for office shall be selected as proctors by random process; or, if five such members cannot be found, five members from the total attendance shall be so selected, but shall remain eligible for election.

===d. [[Elections|Election]] Procedure===
The election of each [[Officers|officer]] shall be concluded before the election of the next begins, and these elections shall be held in order of the chain of command. Write-in ballots or other invalid ballots shall be considered as abstentions. The candidate receiving a majority of the votes cast for each office shall be declared elected. In the case of an all-way tie, an additional round shall be run. Should the tie repeat, the winner shall be decided by the proctors of the election by random process. Otherwise, candidates shall be eliminated by the following method:

# Sort candidates into tiers of people with the same number of votes.
# Starting with the lowest ranking tier, remove tiers from the running in increasing order of rank until removing another would bring the total number of votes removed above 1/3. If there are no tiers with a number of votes below 1/3, remove the lowest ranking tier.
# If more than one candidate remains, run another round.

The winner shall be announced by the election proctors. At least three of the election proctors shall sign a document in triplicate containing the names of the new executive board. Vote totals shall not be announced. The ballots shall be destroyed upon completion of the elections.

==Section 4. Nominations==
No person may be a candidate in an [[KGB|organization]] [[elections|election]] who has not been nominated or who is not a voting organization [[members|member]] in good standing. During the last quarter of the official year the Executive Board shall select a [[NomCom|Nominating Committee]] consisting of four (4) members willing to so serve, not more than one (1) of whom shall be a member of the [[Exec|Board]]. The [[Recording Secretary]] shall immediately notify the committee members of their selection. The Board shall name a Chairperson for the committee and it shall be this person's duty to call a committee meeting which shall be held on or before March 1. Once the first meeting has been held, the membership of this committee cannot be altered by the board. No person who has served on the Nominating Committee will be eligible to run in that year's elections.

===a. Duties of the Nominating Committee===
The committee shall encourage as many able members to nominate themselves for offices as possible. If any office has no nominations for candidates, one (1) week before nominations are closed, Nominating Committee shall nominate one (1) person to that position, and after securing the consent of each person so nominated, shall on or before the fourth day before nominations are closed report their nominations to both the [[RecSec|Recording]] and [[CorSec|Corresponding]] Secretaries in writing. Nominating Committee is to do everything in its power to maintain the appearance of neutrality.

===b. Membership Notification of the Report of the Nominating Committee===
Upon receipt of the [[NomCom|Nominating Committee]]'s report, the [[Corresponding Secretary]] shall on or before the third day before nominations are closed notify each member in writing of the candidates so nominated.

===c. Ad hoc Nominations===
Additional nominations may be made at any meeting after the report of the nominating committee and before the [[annual meeting]] by any member in attendance provided that the person so nominated does not decline when his or her name is proposed, and provided further that if the proposed candidate is not in attendance at this meeting, the proposer shall present to the Recording Secretary a written statement of the candidate's willingness to be so nominated. A voting member may be nominated and run for more than one (1) office, but shall only be allowed to hold one (1) office.

===d. Membership Notification of the Final List of Nominees===
Upon finalization of the nominations and at least three days before the annual meeting, the [[Corresponding Secretary]] shall notify each member in writing of the list of candidates.

===e. Exclusion of Other Nominations===
Nominations cannot be made at the [[annual meeting]] or in any manner other than as provided for in this section.

=ARTICLE VII - [[Committees|COMMITTEES]]=

==Section 1. Ordinary [[Committees]]==
The Board may each year appoint standing ordinary committees to advance the work of the organization. Special ordinary committees may also be appointed by the Board to aid it on particular projects. Such committees shall always be subject to the final authority of the Board.

==Section 2. Revision of Ordinary [[Committees]]==
Any ordinary committee appointment may be terminated by the Board upon written notice to the appointee, and the Board may appoint successors to those persons whose services have been terminated.

==Section 3. Extraordinary [[Committees]]==
The organization may appoint extraordinary committees to advance the work of the organization. Each such committee has an owner, who must be a member in good standing of the organization. The owner appoints and replaces the chair of the committee as deemed
appropriate.

==Section 4. Ownership of Extraordinary [[Committees]]==
The owner of an extraordinary committee is determined by auction, the proceeds of which are payable to the organization. In the event of a vacancy in ownership of an extraordinary committee, the organization may fill the vacancy by auction.

==Section 5. Voluntary Transfer of Ownership of Extraordinary [[Committees]]==
The owner of an extraordinary committee may transfer the ownership of the committee to another member in good standing by notifying the Recording Secretary.

==Section 6. Records of [[Committees]]==
The [[Recording Secretary]] shall maintain a record of the membership of all ordinary committees and of the ownership of all
extraordinary committees.

=ARTICLE VIII. [[Disciplinary action|REPRIMAND, SUSPENSION, AND EXPULSION]]=

==Section 1. Responsibility==
Any member of the organization shall be held accountable for any conduct considered injurious to the organization or its purposes and objectives. The gravity of such conduct shall first be considered at a hearing before the [[Executive Board]]. Considering said charges of conduct, the Board may, at its discretion, enforce any of the following punitive actions:

===a. Reprimand===
The [[Exec|Board]] may reprimand the [[members|member]] for minor offenses, which can include, but shall not be limited to, written reprimand, verbal warning, restitution, or organization service.

===b. Suspension===
For offenses of a more serious nature, the [[Exec|Board]] may suspend membership privileges of the [[members|member]] for any length of time, up to the next [[Annual Meeting]] of the organization.

===c. Expulsion===
Considering the most heinous of offenses, the [[Exec|Board]] may propose to the [[KGB|organization]] [[members|membership]] expulsion of the member. The [[KGB|organization]] shall then vote at the next [[Meetings|Regular Meeting]] of the [[KGB|organization]], and the proposal for expulsion shall require a two-thirds (2/3) [[voting|vote]] for approval.

==Section 2. Notice of charges==
Any [[members|member]] so charged shall be given written notice of said hearing at least ten (10) days prior to that hearing, and such [[members|member]] shall have the right to be present at said hearing for the purposes of defense.

==Section 3. Appeal of reprimand or suspension==
Any [[members|member]] affected by Section 1, Parts (a) and (b), of this Article, shall have thirty (30) days to appeal said proceedings. Written notice of appeal shall be presented to the [[Recording Secretary]]. The [[Exec|Board]] shall then, in turn, present the matter to the [[voting]] [[members|membership]] at the next Regular organization [[meetings|meeting]]. An affirmative two-thirds (2/3) [[voting|vote]] shall be required to sustain the actions of the [[Exec|Board]].

==Section 4. Reinstatement==
Any person whose membership is terminated according to Section 1 of this article must present his or her application for reinstatement to the [[Executive Board]] for approval prior to being [[voting|voted]] upon by the general membership.

=ARTICLE IX. PARLIAMENTARY AUTHORITY=

The rules contained in the current edition of [[Robert's Rules of Order|ROBERT'S RULES OF ORDER NEWLY REVISED]] shall govern the [[KGB|organization]] in all cases to which they are applicable and in which they are not inconsistent with these [[Bylaws]] and any special rules of order the [[KGB|organization]] may adopt.

=ARTICLE X. AMENDMENTS=

==Section 1. Proposal of Amendments==
Amendments to these [[bylaws]] may be proposed by the [[Executive Board]] or by written petition addressed to the [[Recording Secretary]]. Amendments proposed by such petition shall be promptly considered by the [[Exec|Board]] and must be submitted to the [[members]] with the recommendations of the [[Exec|Board]] by the [[Recording Secretary]] for a [[voting|vote]] within thirty (30) days of the date when the petition was received by the [[Recording Secretary]].

==Section 2. Approval of Amendments==
These bylaws may be amended by a two-thirds (2/3) [[voting|vote]] at any regular or special [[meetings|meeting]] called for the purpose, provided the proposed amendments have been included in the notice of the meeting and mailed to each [[members|member]] at least six (6) days prior to the date of the meeting.

=ARTICLE XI. DONATIONS=

The [[KGB|organization]] may accept donations in the form of money, equipment or other property to be used for the exclusive benefit of the [[members|membership]], provided however, that all contributions and donations to the organization shall be subject to approval by the [[Exec|Board]].

=ARTICLE XII. DISSOLUTION=

The organization may be dissolved at any time by the written consent of not less than two-thirds (2/3) of the [[voting]] [[members]] in good standing. In the event of the dissolution of the [[KGB|organization]], whether voluntary or involuntary or by operation of law, none of the property of the organization nor any proceeds thereof nor any assets of the [[KGB|organization]] shall be distributed to any [[members]] of the [[KGB|organization]]. After payment of the debts of the [[KGB|organization]], its property and assets shall be given to a similar organization or sold and the money donated to a charitable organization selected by the [[Executive Board]].

=ARTICLE XIII. SUGGESTED ORDER OF BUSINESS=

==Section 1. [[KGB|Organization]] [[meetings]]==
At [[meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]], the order of business, so far as the character and nature of the meeting may permit, shall be as follows:

# Reading and correction of the [[minutes]] of the last regular [[KGB|organization]] [[meetings|meeting]] and any special [[meetings]] or [[Exec|Board]] meetings held in the interim
# Reports of [[officers]]
# Reports of [[committees]]
# [[Old business]]
# New business
# [[Elections]] (at [[annual meeting]])
# Actual Real Relevant Announcements Pertaining to the Business of KGB as an Organization.
# [[Schmucks|Open floor]]

==Section 2. [[Exec|Board]] [[meetings]]==
At [[meetings]] of the [[Exec|Board]], the order of business, unless otherwise directed by majority [[voting|vote]] of those present, shall be as follows:

# Reading and correction of the [[minutes]] of the last regular [[Exec|Board]] [[meetings|meeting]] and any special [[meetings]] or [[KGB|organization]] [[meetings]] held in the interim
# Reports of [[officers]]
# Reports of [[committees]]
# [[Old business]]
# New business

Bylaws

2011-04-18T07:23:50Z

Jboning: Reverted edits by Xanderao (Talk); changed back to last version by Jboning

{{true}}

These are the official (but not the canonical) bylaws of the KGB organization. They are very important.

=ARTICLE I. NAME AND OBJECTIVES=

==Section 1. Name==
The name of the organization shall be [[KGB]].

==Section 2. Objectives==
The objectives of the organization shall be:
* to promote a spirit of fellowship among its [[members]].
* to take an active and positive role in campus life.

==Section 3. No Profit==
The organization shall not be conducted or operated for profit and no part of any profits or remainder or residue from dues, donations, or other sources of income to the organization shall inure to the personal benefit of any member or individual.

=ARTICLE II. DEFINITIONS=

==Section 1. Standing Definitions==
The terms defined as follows shall be considered standing definitions:

===a. Majority===
A majority shall be defined as a number greater then one-half (1/2), or fifty percent (50%), of the total.

===b. Organization Quorum===
A quorum of the organization is required in order to hold meetings as set forth in Article IV, Sections 1 and 2, and shall be either a majority of the voting members or seventy-five percent (75%) of the active members.

===c. Board Quorum===
A quorum of the Board is required in order to hold meetings set forth in Article IV, Sections 3, 4, and 5, shall be a majority of the Board members.

===d. Written Petitions===
All written petitions shall bear the signatures of either ten (10) members, or twenty percent (20%) of the voting membership, whichever is greater.

===e. Member in Good Standing===
A [[members|member]] is in good standing whose [[dues]] are current and whose other monetary obligations to the organization are fulfilled
# within sixty (60) days of the obligation's creation, or
# by the Annual Meeting (as defined in Art. VI, Sec. 2)
whichever comes first unless such obligations are created within seven (7) days prior to the Annual Meeting, in which case clause 2 shall not apply.

===f. Voting Member===
A voting [[members|member]] is a member in good standing who has attended at least one (1) previous meeting.

===g. Mailing===
A mailing may be by physical or electronic means. Such mail must be individually addressed to each recipient, and may not only be to a single central bulletin board or other medium.

===h. Active Member===
An active [[members|member]] shall be a voting member who has attended at least one of the three (3) previous regular organization meetings as set forth in Article IV, Section 1 of these bylaws.

===i. [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]]===
The annual meeting is the meeting at which the officers shall be elected for the ensuing year, and at which other significant business is conducted in accordance with these bylaws, and is described in Article VI, Section 2 of these bylaws.

===j. Random Process===
A random process shall be any method of choice which assigns an equal probability of selection to each option.

===k. [[Duck]]===
Anything that looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.

===l. Zombie Dollar===
One zombie dollar is the equivalent of the fee assessed members with a body temperature equal to or less than fifty (50) degrees Fahrenheit, as defined in Article III, Section 2 of these bylaws.

==Section 2. Provisional Definitions==
All terms not previously defined as standing Definitions shall be defined according to the current edition of MERRIAM-WEBSTER'S COLLEGIATE DICTIONARY.

=ARTICLE III. MEMBERSHIP=

==Section 1. [[Members|Membership]]==
Each individual voting member shall have one (1) vote. Each member shall receive one (1) copy of any notices, publications or other distributed documents of the organization.

==Section 2. Becoming a Member==
Any person whose dues have been paid to the Treasurer and whose body temperature is above fifty (50) degrees Fahrenheit shall be considered a member. However, the second requirement can be waived for the fee of six (6) dollars.

==Section 3. [[Dues]]==
Membership dues for the next year shall be suggested annually by the [[Executive Board]] in March, and approved or changed by the voting membership at the April meeting. Dues shall be payable on or before the thirtieth day of September each year.

==Section 4. Termination==
Memberships may be terminated voluntarily:
===a. Resignation===
Any member may resign from the [[KGB|organization]] upon written notice to the [[Recording Secretary]].

===b. Lapsed Memberships===
A membership will be considered as lapsed and automatically terminated if such member's [[dues]] remain unpaid thirty (30) days after the deadline for payment of dues. However, the [[Executive Board]] may grant an additional thirty (30) days grace period to such delinquent [[members]] in exceptional cases. In no case may a person be entitled to vote at any
[[KGB|organization]] [[meetings|meeting]] whose dues are unpaid as of the date of that meeting, or who are sixty (60) days in arrears of other monetary obligations to the organization.

==Section 5. Refund of [[Dues]]==
Membership [[dues]] will not be refunded either wholly or in part for any reason save extreme circumstances as determined by the membership.

==Section 6. Benefits of Membership==
All [[members]] in good standing shall receive all benefits of membership except as stipulated in the bylaws.

=ARTICLE IV. [[Meetings|MEETINGS]] AND VOTING=

==Section 1. Regular Organization [[Meetings]]==
Regular [[meetings]] of the organization shall be held as directed by the Executive Board. Written notice of such meetings shall be mailed to the membership at least six (6) days prior to the date of the first such meeting of each semester by the Corresponding Secretary through the official organization newsletter or by other mailing, as well as upon any change in the announced time.

==Section 2. Special Organization Meetings==
Special [[meetings]] of the organization may be called by the [[President]], or by a majority vote of the members of the [[Executive Board]] who are present and voting at any regular or special meeting of the Board, or by the [[Recording Secretary]] upon receipt of a written petition. Written notice of such [[meetings]] shall be mailed by the [[Corresponding Secretary]] at least three (3) and not more than fifteen (15) days prior to the date of the meeting. Such notice shall state the purpose(s) of the meeting, and no other organization business may be transacted thereat.

==Section 3. Regular [[Executive Board]] [[Meetings]]==
Regular [[meetings]] of the [[Executive Board]] shall be held as directed by the Board, with a minimum of two (2) such meetings per semester. Notice of such [[meetings]] shall be mailed to the membership at least six (6) days prior to the date of the first such meeting of each semester by the [[Corresponding Secretary]] and upon any change in the announced time. Such [[meetings]] shall be closed to non-members of the organization unless the individual(s) should be specifically invited by the [[Executive Board|Board]], in which case the cause for the non-member presence shall be the first order of business, and after which the non-member may be asked to leave the meeting.

==Section 4. Special [[Executive Board]] [[Meetings]]==
Special [[meetings]] of the [[Executive Board]] may be called by the [[President]], or by the [[Recording Secretary]] upon the receipt of a written petition signed by at least three (3) members of the [[Executive Board|Board]]. Notice of such [[meetings]] shall be given to the membership at least five (5) days prior to the meeting. Such notice shall state the purpose of the meeting and no other business may be transacted thereat. In addition, all restrictions in Section 3 of this article shall apply to special meetings of the [[Executive Board|Board]].

==Section 5. Emergency [[Executive Board|Board]] [[Meetings]]==
Emergency meetings of the [[Executive Board|Board]] may be called by the [[President]] or [[1st VP|First Vice-President]] and may be held by phone. Notice of such [[meetings]] shall be given to the officers at least one (1) day prior to the meeting. Any majority decision reached will be entered into the minutes of the next regular [[Exec|Board]] meeting.

==Section 6. Voting==
Each voting [[members|member]] shall be entitled to one (1) vote at any regular meeting of the [[KGB|organization]] at which the member is present. Absentee voting will be permitted only for elections. Absentee ballots must be submitted to all the election proctors at
least twelve (12) hours in advance of the commencement of the [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]], and may be submitted by electronic mail or in person.

=ARTICLE V. [[:category:Officers|OFFICERS]] AND REPRESENTATIVES=

==Section 1. [[Executive Board]]==
The [[:category:officers|officers]] of the [[KGB|organization]] shall constitute the [[Exec|Executive board]]. The power necessary for the general management of the organization's affairs shall be entrusted to the Board, except as follows.

===a. Supremacy of the Organization===
The Board shall be subject to the orders of the organization, and none of its acts shall conflict with action taken by the organization, and the organization may countermand any decision of the board by a majority vote, thus opening up the question for consideration by the organization.

===b. Distribution of Funds===
The Board shall not distribute the organization's funds except as directed by the organization.

==Section 2. [[:category:Officers|Officers]]==
The organization officers, consisting of the following, shall serve in their respective capacities both with regard to the organization and its meetings and the [[Exec|Board]] and its [[meetings]].

===a. [[President]]===
The President shall preside at all [[meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]] and of the [[Exec|Board]], and shall have the duties and powers normally applicable to the office of President in addition to those provided for in these bylaws.

===b. [[1st VP|First Vice-President]]===
The First Vice-President shall be in charge of fellowship and shall actively recruit new [[members]].

===c. [[2nd VP|Second Vice-President]]===
The Second Vice-President shall be in charge of organizing fellowship activities.

===d. [[Corresponding Secretary]]===
The Corresponding Secretary shall have charge of all correspondence pertinent to the [[KGB|organization]] other than the correspondence reserved for the [[Recording Secretary]] and [[Treasurer]]. The Corresponding Secretary shall be the Editor of the organization [[Pravda?|Newsletter]].

===e. [[Recording Secretary]]===
The Recording Secretary shall keep a record of all [[meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]] and of the [[Exec|Board]] and of all matters of which a record shall be ordered by the organization. The Recording Secretary shall keep a roll of the [[members]] of the organization with applicable information, including attendance at meetings of the general body; furthermore, the Recording Secretary shall carry out such other duties as are prescribed in these bylaws, and shall have the duties and powers normally applicable to the office of Secretary, except for those duties and powers assigned to another officer by these bylaws. In the absence of the Recording Secretary, the duties and powers thereof shall be executed by the Corresponding Secretary, or in the absence thereof, the most senior officer present not presiding over the meeting.

===f. [[Treasurer]]===
The Treasurer shall collect and receive all [[Treasury|moneys]] due or belonging to the organization, and shall deposit the same in a bank satisfactory to the [[Exec|Board]], in the name of the [[KGB|organization]]. The Treasurer's books shall be open at all times to the inspection of the Board, and the Treasurer shall report to the Board and the general [[members|membership]] at every meeting the condition of the organization's finances. At the [[annual meeting]], the Treasurer shall render an account of all moneys received and expended during the previous fiscal year. During the month of September the Treasurer shall mail to each member a statement of [[dues]] for the ensuing year. The Treasurer shall disperse funds as directed by the Executive Board. The Treasurer shall also be responsible for filing all financial forms applicable to the organization. In the absence of the Treasurer, the [[Recording Secretary]] shall record allocations made or debts incurred by or to the organization; however, the Recording Secretary shall not disburse or collect moneys, unless authorized so to do by the Board.

===g. [[Sergeant at Arms|Sergeant-at-Arms]]===
The Sergeant at Arms shall assist in preserving order as the chair may direct, and other duties as set forth in the standing rules of order.

==Section 3. [[:category:officers|Officer]] Requirements==
All Officers of the [[KGB|organization]] shall be voting [[members]] who are [[Activities fee|Activities Fee]]-paying students.

==Section 4. Vacancies==
Any vacancy of an [[:category:Officers|officer]] position occurring on the [[Exec|Board]] during the year shall be filled for the unexpired term of office by a majority vote of all the remaining members of the Board by the second regular [[meetings|meeting]] of the board following the creation of such vacancy.

==Section 5. Recall of [[:category:Officers|Officers]]==
Any officer may be recalled for misconduct or dereliction of duty. A written petition, stating the reason(s) for recall, shall be filed with the [[Exec|Board]]. Written notice of such a petition shall be mailed to the membership. At the next regular [[meetings|meeting]] at least six (6) days after the mailing, a hearing on the matter will be held and a two-thirds (2/3) vote will be required to sustain the recall.

==Section 6. Seniority==
Seniority of offices is: [[President]], [[1st VP|First Vice-President]], [[2nd VP|Second Vice-President]], [[Corresponding Secretary]],
[[Recording Secretary]], [[Treasurer]], and [[Sergeant at Arms|Sergeant-at-Arms]].

=ARTICLE VI. [[KGB|ORGANIZATION]] YEAR, [[Annual meeting|ANNUAL MEETING]], [[Elections|ELECTIONS]]=

==Section 1. [[KGB|Organization]] Year==
The organization's fiscal year shall begin on the first day of September and end on the thirty-first day of August. The organization's official year shall begin immediately at the conclusion of the [[elections|election]] at the [[annual meeting]] and shall continue
through the election at the next annual meeting.

==Section 2. [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]]==
No later than the last meeting in the month of December the [[Exec|board]] shall set the date for the Annual Meeting. The annual meeting shall be held in the month of April of each year. At the Annual Meeting the Officers for the ensuing year shall be elected by
secret, written ballot from among those nominated in accordance with Section 4 of this article. They shall take office immediately upon the conclusion of the election and each retiring [[:category:Officers|officer]] shall relinquish all properties and records relating to that office within fifteen (15) days after the [[elections|election]].

==Section 3. [[Elections]]==
The color of elections shall be [[purple]].

===a. Proctors===
For the duration of the [[elections]] at the [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]], a set of at least three proctors shall preside and keep order at the meeting. Ballots shall be counted by at least two proctors. Proctors shall be ineligible to run in that year's elections. Proctors shall be voting members of the organization except as discussed in section VI.3.b.

===b. Normal Proctor Selection===
At least two weeks prior to the [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]], a slate of at least three consenting [[members]] shall be nominated as proctors at a meeting of the [[Exec|Board]]. A member shall not be nominated if any member of the Board objects. At any meeting of the general body thereafter prior to the Annual Meeting, the slate may be modified or approved by a two-thirds (2/3) vote. At any such time, if it has not yet approved a slate of proctors, the organization may elect to request proctors from an external source with a two-thirds (2/3) vote.

===c. Emergency Proctor Selection===
If, at the Annual Meeting, less than three approved proctors are in attendance, the [[members|general body]] shall again have the opportunity to modify and approve the slate of proctors. If no proctors have yet been approved, after at least two failed votes to approve the current slate of proctors the chair may declare an impasse. In such an impasse, five present members not presently nominated for office shall be selected as proctors by random process; or, if five such members cannot be found, five members from the total attendance shall be so selected, but shall remain eligible for election.

===d. [[Elections|Election]] Procedure===
The election of each [[Officers|officer]] shall be concluded before the election of the next begins, and these elections shall be held in order of the chain of command. Write-in ballots or other invalid ballots shall be considered as abstentions. The candidate receiving a majority of the votes cast for each office shall be declared elected. In the case of an all-way tie, an additional round shall be run. Should the tie repeat, the winner shall be decided by the proctors of the election by random process. Otherwise, candidates shall be eliminated by the following method:

# Sort candidates into tiers of people with the same number of votes.
# Starting with the lowest ranking tier, remove tiers from the running in increasing order of rank until removing another would bring the total number of votes removed above 1/3. If there are no tiers with a number of votes below 1/3, remove the lowest ranking tier.
# If more than one candidate remains, run another round.

The winner shall be announced by the election proctors. Vote totals shall not be announced. The ballots shall be destroyed upon completion of the elections.

==Section 4. Nominations==
No person may be a candidate in an [[KGB|organization]] [[elections|election]] who has not been nominated or who is not a voting organization [[members|member]] in good standing. During the last quarter of the official year the Executive Board shall select a [[NomCom|Nominating Committee]] consisting of four (4) members willing to so serve, not more than one (1) of whom shall be a member of the [[Exec|Board]]. The [[Recording Secretary]] shall immediately notify the committee members of their selection. The Board shall name a Chairperson for the committee and it shall be this person's duty to call a committee meeting which shall be held on or before March 1. Once the first meeting has been held, the membership of this committee cannot be altered by the board. No person who has served on the Nominating Committee will be eligible to run in that year's elections.

===a. Duties of the Nominating Committee===
The committee shall encourage as many able members to nominate themselves for offices as possible. If any office has no nominations for candidates, one (1) week before nominations are closed, Nominating Committee shall nominate one (1) person to that position, and after securing the consent of each person so nominated, shall immediately report their nominations to both the [[RecSec|Recording]] and [[CorSec|Corresponding]] Secretaries in writing. Nominating Committee is to do everything in its power to maintain the appearance of neutrality.

===b. Membership Notification of the Report of the Nominating Committee===
Upon receipt of the [[NomCom|Nominating Committee]]'s report, the [[Corresponding Secretary]] shall on or before April 1, notify each member in writing of the candidates so nominated.

===c. Ad hoc Nominations===
Additional nominations may be made at any meeting after the report of the nominating committee and before the [[annual meeting]] by any member in attendance provided that the person so nominated does not decline when his or her name is proposed, and provided further that if the proposed candidate is not in attendance at this meeting, the proposer shall present to the Recording Secretary a written statement of the candidate's willingness to be so nominated. A voting member may be nominated and run for more than one (1) office, but shall only be allowed to hold one (1) office.

===d. Membership Notification of the Final List of Nominees===
Upon finalization of the nominations and at least three days before the annual meeting, the [[Corresponding Secretary]] shall notify each member in writing of the list of candidates.

===e. Exclusion of Other Nominations===
Nominations cannot be made at the [[annual meeting]] or in any manner other than as provided for in this section.

=ARTICLE VII - [[Committees|COMMITTEES]]=

==Section 1. Ordinary [[Committees]]==
The Board may each year appoint standing ordinary committees to advance the work of the organization. Special ordinary committees may also be appointed by the Board to aid it on particular projects. Such committees shall always be subject to the final authority of the Board.

==Section 2. Revision of Ordinary [[Committees]]==
Any ordinary committee appointment may be terminated by the Board upon written notice to the appointee, and the Board may appoint successors to those persons whose services have been terminated.

==Section 3. Extraordinary [[Committees]]==
The organization may appoint extraordinary committees to advance the work of the organization. Each such committee has an owner, who must be a member in good standing of the organization. The owner appoints and replaces the chair of the committee as deemed
appropriate.

==Section 4. Ownership of Extraordinary [[Committees]]==
The owner of an extraordinary committee is determined by auction, the proceeds of which are payable to the organization. In the event of a vacancy in ownership of an extraordinary committee, the organization may fill the vacancy by auction.

==Section 5. Voluntary Transfer of Ownership of Extraordinary [[Committees]]==
The owner of an extraordinary committee may transfer the ownership of the committee to another member in good standing by notifying the Recording Secretary.

==Section 6. Records of [[Committees]]==
The [[Recording Secretary]] shall maintain a record of the membership of all ordinary committees and of the ownership of all
extraordinary committees.

=ARTICLE VIII. [[Disciplinary action|REPRIMAND, SUSPENSION, AND EXPULSION]]=

==Section 1. Responsibility==
Any member of the organization shall be held accountable for any conduct considered injurious to the organization or its purposes and objectives. The gravity of such conduct shall first be considered at a hearing before the [[Executive Board]]. Considering said charges of conduct, the Board may, at its discretion, enforce any of the following punitive actions:

===a. Reprimand===
The [[Exec|Board]] may reprimand the [[members|member]] for minor offenses, which can include, but shall not be limited to, written reprimand, verbal warning, restitution, or organization service.

===b. Suspension===
For offenses of a more serious nature, the [[Exec|Board]] may suspend membership privileges of the [[members|member]] for any length of time, up to the next [[Annual Meeting]] of the organization.

===c. Expulsion===
Considering the most heinous of offenses, the [[Exec|Board]] may propose to the [[KGB|organization]] [[members|membership]] expulsion of the member. The [[KGB|organization]] shall then vote at the next [[Meetings|Regular Meeting]] of the [[KGB|organization]], and the proposal for expulsion shall require a two-thirds (2/3) [[voting|vote]] for approval.

==Section 2. Notice of charges==
Any [[members|member]] so charged shall be given written notice of said hearing at least ten (10) days prior to that hearing, and such [[members|member]] shall have the right to be present at said hearing for the purposes of defense.

==Section 3. Appeal of reprimand or suspension==
Any [[members|member]] affected by Section 1, Parts (a) and (b), of this Article, shall have thirty (30) days to appeal said proceedings. Written notice of appeal shall be presented to the [[Recording Secretary]]. The [[Exec|Board]] shall then, in turn, present the matter to the [[voting]] [[members|membership]] at the next Regular organization [[meetings|meeting]]. An affirmative two-thirds (2/3) [[voting|vote]] shall be required to sustain the actions of the [[Exec|Board]].

==Section 4. Reinstatement==
Any person whose membership is terminated according to Section 1 of this article must present his or her application for reinstatement to the [[Executive Board]] for approval prior to being [[voting|voted]] upon by the general membership.

=ARTICLE IX. PARLIAMENTARY AUTHORITY=

The rules contained in the current edition of [[Robert's Rules of Order|ROBERT'S RULES OF ORDER NEWLY REVISED]] shall govern the [[KGB|organization]] in all cases to which they are applicable and in which they are not inconsistent with these [[Bylaws]] and any special rules of order the [[KGB|organization]] may adopt.

=ARTICLE X. AMENDMENTS=

==Section 1. Proposal of Amendments==
Amendments to these [[bylaws]] may be proposed by the [[Executive Board]] or by written petition addressed to the [[Recording Secretary]]. Amendments proposed by such petition shall be promptly considered by the [[Exec|Board]] and must be submitted to the [[members]] with the recommendations of the [[Exec|Board]] by the [[Recording Secretary]] for a [[voting|vote]] within thirty (30) days of the date when the petition was received by the [[Recording Secretary]].

==Section 2. Approval of Amendments==
These bylaws may be amended by a two-thirds (2/3) [[voting|vote]] at any regular or special [[meetings|meeting]] called for the purpose, provided the proposed amendments have been included in the notice of the meeting and mailed to each [[members|member]] at least six (6) days prior to the date of the meeting.

=ARTICLE XI. DONATIONS=

The [[KGB|organization]] may accept donations in the form of money, equipment or other property to be used for the exclusive benefit of the [[members|membership]], provided however, that all contributions and donations to the organization shall be subject to approval by the [[Exec|Board]].

=ARTICLE XII. DISSOLUTION=

The organization may be dissolved at any time by the written consent of not less than two-thirds (2/3) of the [[voting]] [[members]] in good standing. In the event of the dissolution of the [[KGB|organization]], whether voluntary or involuntary or by operation of law, none of the property of the organization nor any proceeds thereof nor any assets of the [[KGB|organization]] shall be distributed to any [[members]] of the [[KGB|organization]]. After payment of the debts of the [[KGB|organization]], its property and assets shall be given to a similar organization or sold and the money donated to a charitable organization selected by the [[Executive Board]].

=ARTICLE XIII. SUGGESTED ORDER OF BUSINESS=

==Section 1. [[KGB|Organization]] [[meetings]]==
At [[meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]], the order of business, so far as the character and nature of the meeting may permit, shall be as follows:

# Reading and correction of the [[minutes]] of the last regular [[KGB|organization]] [[meetings|meeting]] and any special [[meetings]] or [[Exec|Board]] meetings held in the interim
# Reports of [[officers]]
# Reports of [[committees]]
# [[Old business]]
# New business
# [[Elections]] (at [[annual meeting]])
# Actual Real Relevant Announcements Pertaining to the Business of KGB as an Organization.
# [[Schmucks|Open floor]]

==Section 2. [[Exec|Board]] [[meetings]]==
At [[meetings]] of the [[Exec|Board]], the order of business, unless otherwise directed by majority [[voting|vote]] of those present, shall be as follows:

# Reading and correction of the [[minutes]] of the last regular [[Exec|Board]] [[meetings|meeting]] and any special [[meetings]] or [[KGB|organization]] [[meetings]] held in the interim
# Reports of [[officers]]
# Reports of [[committees]]
# [[Old business]]
# New business

Main Page

2011-02-28T14:10:50Z

Jboning: Undo revision 4386 by Carmelo10 (Talk)

<big>'''Welcome to the KGB wiki. We are awesome.'''</big>

This is the main page. From here, you can teleport via magic internets to:

* [[What We Do]]
* [[Members]]
* [[History]]
* [[Information]]
* [[:category:Inside jokes|Inside Jokes]]

==Of "Current" Interest==

* [[2010 Officers|New officers for 2010-11]]

==Meta==

* [[I wanna edit this wiki]]

===Meta Meta===

* [[I wanna edit this "I wanna edit this wiki"]]

====Meta Meta Meta====

* [[I wanna edit this "I wanna edit this 'I wanna edit this wiki'"]]

Bylaws

2011-02-15T20:55:31Z

Jboning: Undo revision 4304 by Xanderao (Talk)

{{true}}

These are the official (but not the canonical) bylaws of the KGB organization. They are very important.

=ARTICLE I. NAME AND OBJECTIVES=

==Section 1. Name==
The name of the organization shall be [[KGB]].

==Section 2. Objectives==
The objectives of the organization shall be:
* to promote a spirit of fellowship among its [[members]].
* to take an active and positive role in campus life.

==Section 3. No Profit==
The organization shall not be conducted or operated for profit and no part of any profits or remainder or residue from dues, donations, or other sources of income to the organization shall inure to the personal benefit of any member or individual.

=ARTICLE II. DEFINITIONS=

==Section 1. Standing Definitions==
The terms defined as follows shall be considered standing definitions:

===a. Majority===
A majority shall be defined as a number greater then one-half (1/2), or fifty percent (50%), of the total.

===b. Organization Quorum===
A quorum of the organization is required in order to hold meetings as set forth in Article IV, Sections 1 and 2, and shall be either a majority of the voting members or seventy-five percent (75%) of the active members.

===c. Board Quorum===
A quorum of the Board is required in order to hold meetings set forth in Article IV, Sections 3, 4, and 5, shall be a majority of the Board members.

===d. Written Petitions===
All written petitions shall bear the signatures of either ten (10) members, or twenty percent (20%) of the voting membership, whichever is greater.

===e. Member in Good Standing===
A [[members|member]] is in good standing whose [[dues]] are current and whose other monetary obligations to the organization are fulfilled
# within sixty (60) days of the obligation's creation, or
# by the Annual Meeting (as defined in Art. VI, Sec. 2)
whichever comes first unless such obligations are created within seven (7) days prior to the Annual Meeting, in which case clause 2 shall not apply.

===f. Voting Member===
A voting [[members|member]] is a member in good standing who has attended at least one (1) previous meeting.

===g. Mailing===
A mailing may be by physical or electronic means. Such mail must be individually addressed to each recipient, and may not only be to a single central bulletin board or other medium.

===h. Active Member===
An active [[members|member]] shall be a voting member who has attended at least one of the three (3) previous regular organization meetings as set forth in Article IV, Section 1 of these bylaws.

===i. [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]]===
The annual meeting is the meeting at which the officers shall be elected for the ensuing year, and at which other significant business is conducted in accordance with these bylaws, and is described in Article VI, Section 2 of these bylaws.

===j. Random Process===
A random process shall be any method of choice which assigns an equal probability of selection to each option.

===k. [[Duck]]===
Anything that looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.

===l. Zombie Dollar===
One zombie dollar is the equivalent of the fee assessed members with a body temperature equal to or less than fifty (50) degrees Fahrenheit, as defined in Article III, Section 2 of these bylaws.

==Section 2. Provisional Definitions==
All terms not previously defined as standing Definitions shall be defined according to the current edition of MERRIAM-WEBSTER'S COLLEGIATE DICTIONARY.

=ARTICLE III. MEMBERSHIP=

==Section 1. [[Members|Membership]]==
Each individual voting member shall have one (1) vote. Each member shall receive one (1) copy of any notices, publications or other distributed documents of the organization.

==Section 2. Becoming a Member==
Any person whose dues have been paid to the Treasurer and whose body temperature is above fifty (50) degrees Fahrenheit shall be considered a member. However, the second requirement can be waived for the fee of six (6) dollars.

==Section 3. [[Dues]]==
Membership dues for the next year shall be suggested annually by the [[Executive Board]] in March, and approved or changed by the voting membership at the April meeting. Dues shall be payable on or before the thirtieth day of September each year.

==Section 4. Termination==
Memberships may be terminated voluntarily:
===a. Resignation===
Any member may resign from the [[KGB|organization]] upon written notice to the [[Recording Secretary]].

===b. Lapsed Memberships===
A membership will be considered as lapsed and automatically terminated if such member's [[dues]] remain unpaid thirty (30) days after the deadline for payment of dues. However, the [[Executive Board]] may grant an additional thirty (30) days grace period to such delinquent [[members]] in exceptional cases. In no case may a person be entitled to vote at any
[[KGB|organization]] [[meetings|meeting]] whose dues are unpaid as of the date of that meeting, or who are sixty (60) days in arrears of other monetary obligations to the organization.

==Section 5. Refund of [[Dues]]==
Membership [[dues]] will not be refunded either wholly or in part for any reason save extreme circumstances as determined by the membership.

==Section 6. Benefits of Membership==
All [[members]] in good standing shall receive all benefits of membership except as stipulated in the bylaws.

=ARTICLE IV. [[Meetings|MEETINGS]] AND VOTING=

==Section 1. Regular Organization [[Meetings]]==
Regular [[meetings]] of the organization shall be held as directed by the Executive Board. Written notice of such meetings shall be mailed to the membership at least six (6) days prior to the date of the first such meeting of each semester by the Corresponding Secretary through the official organization newsletter or by other mailing, as well as upon any change in the announced time.

==Section 2. Special Organization Meetings==
Special [[meetings]] of the organization may be called by the [[President]], or by a majority vote of the members of the [[Executive Board]] who are present and voting at any regular or special meeting of the Board, or by the [[Recording Secretary]] upon receipt of a written petition. Written notice of such [[meetings]] shall be mailed by the [[Corresponding Secretary]] at least three (3) and not more than fifteen (15) days prior to the date of the meeting. Such notice shall state the purpose(s) of the meeting, and no other organization business may be transacted thereat.

==Section 3. Regular [[Executive Board]] [[Meetings]]==
Regular [[meetings]] of the [[Executive Board]] shall be held as directed by the Board, with a minimum of two (2) such meetings per semester. Notice of such [[meetings]] shall be mailed to the membership at least six (6) days prior to the date of the first such meeting of each semester by the [[Corresponding Secretary]] and upon any change in the announced time. Such [[meetings]] shall be closed to non-members of the organization unless the individual(s) should be specifically invited by the [[Executive Board|Board]], in which case the cause for the non-member presence shall be the first order of business, and after which the non-member may be asked to leave the meeting.

==Section 4. Special [[Executive Board]] [[Meetings]]==
Special [[meetings]] of the [[Executive Board]] may be called by the [[President]], or by the [[Recording Secretary]] upon the receipt of a written petition signed by at least three (3) members of the [[Executive Board|Board]]. Notice of such [[meetings]] shall be given to the membership at least five (5) days prior to the meeting. Such notice shall state the purpose of the meeting and no other business may be transacted thereat. In addition, all restrictions in Section 3 of this article shall apply to special meetings of the [[Executive Board|Board]].

==Section 5. Emergency [[Executive Board|Board]] [[Meetings]]==
Emergency meetings of the [[Executive Board|Board]] may be called by the [[President]] or [[1st VP|First Vice-President]] and may be held by phone. Notice of such [[meetings]] shall be given to the officers at least one (1) day prior to the meeting. Any majority decision reached will be entered into the minutes of the next regular [[Exec|Board]] meeting.

==Section 6. Voting==
Each voting [[members|member]] shall be entitled to one (1) vote at any regular meeting of the [[KGB|organization]] at which the member is present. Absentee voting will be permitted only for elections. Absentee ballots must be submitted to all the election proctors at
least twelve (12) hours in advance of the commencement of the [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]], and may be submitted by electronic mail or in person.

=ARTICLE V. [[:category:Officers|OFFICERS]] AND REPRESENTATIVES=

==Section 1. [[Executive Board]]==
The [[:category:officers|officers]] of the [[KGB|organization]] shall constitute the [[Exec|Executive board]]. The power necessary for the general management of the organization's affairs shall be entrusted to the Board, except as follows.

===a. Supremacy of the Organization===
The Board shall be subject to the orders of the organization, and none of its acts shall conflict with action taken by the organization, and the organization may countermand any decision of the board by a majority vote, thus opening up the question for consideration by the organization.

===b. Distribution of Funds===
The Board shall not distribute the organization's funds except as directed by the organization.

==Section 2. [[:category:Officers|Officers]]==
The organization officers, consisting of the following, shall serve in their respective capacities both with regard to the organization and its meetings and the [[Exec|Board]] and its [[meetings]].

===a. [[President]]===
The President shall preside at all [[meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]] and of the [[Exec|Board]], and shall have the duties and powers normally applicable to the office of President in addition to those provided for in these bylaws.

===b. [[1st VP|First Vice-President]]===
The First Vice-President shall be in charge of fellowship and shall actively recruit new [[members]].

===c. [[2nd VP|Second Vice-President]]===
The Second Vice-President shall be in charge of organizing fellowship activities.

===d. [[Corresponding Secretary]]===
The Corresponding Secretary shall have charge of all correspondence pertinent to the [[KGB|organization]] other than the correspondence reserved for the [[Recording Secretary]] and [[Treasurer]]. The Corresponding Secretary shall be the Editor of the organization [[Pravda?|Newsletter]].

===e. [[Recording Secretary]]===
The Recording Secretary shall keep a record of all [[meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]] and of the [[Exec|Board]] and of all matters of which a record shall be ordered by the organization. The Recording Secretary shall keep a roll of the [[members]] of the organization with applicable information, including attendance at meetings of the general body; furthermore, the Recording Secretary shall carry out such other duties as are prescribed in these bylaws, and shall have the duties and powers normally applicable to the office of Secretary, except for those duties and powers assigned to another officer by these bylaws. In the absence of the Recording Secretary, the duties and powers thereof shall be executed by the Corresponding Secretary, or in the absence thereof, the most senior officer present not presiding over the meeting.

===f. [[Treasurer]]===
The Treasurer shall collect and receive all [[Treasury|moneys]] due or belonging to the organization, and shall deposit the same in a bank satisfactory to the [[Exec|Board]], in the name of the [[KGB|organization]]. The Treasurer's books shall be open at all times to the inspection of the Board, and the Treasurer shall report to the Board and the general [[members|membership]] at every meeting the condition of the organization's finances. At the [[annual meeting]], the Treasurer shall render an account of all moneys received and expended during the previous fiscal year. During the month of September the Treasurer shall mail to each member a statement of [[dues]] for the ensuing year. The Treasurer shall disperse funds as directed by the Executive Board. The Treasurer shall also be responsible for filing all financial forms applicable to the organization. In the absence of the Treasurer, the [[Recording Secretary]] shall record allocations made or debts incurred by or to the organization; however, the Recording Secretary shall not disburse or collect moneys, unless authorized so to do by the Board.

===g. [[Sergeant at Arms|Sergeant-at-Arms]]===
The Sergeant at Arms shall assist in preserving order as the chair may direct, and other duties as set forth in the standing rules of order.

==Section 3. [[:category:officers|Officer]] Requirements==
All Officers of the [[KGB|organization]] shall be voting [[members]] who are [[Activities fee|Activities Fee]]-paying students.

==Section 4. Vacancies==
Any vacancy of an [[:category:Officers|officer]] position occurring on the [[Exec|Board]] during the year shall be filled for the unexpired term of office by a majority vote of all the remaining members of the Board by the second regular [[meetings|meeting]] of the board following the creation of such vacancy.

==Section 5. Recall of [[:category:Officers|Officers]]==
Any officer may be recalled for misconduct or dereliction of duty. A written petition, stating the reason(s) for recall, shall be filed with the [[Exec|Board]]. Written notice of such a petition shall be mailed to the membership. At the next regular [[meetings|meeting]] at least six (6) days after the mailing, a hearing on the matter will be held and a two-thirds (2/3) vote will be required to sustain the recall.

==Section 6. Seniority==
Seniority of offices is: [[President]], [[1st VP|First Vice-President]], [[2nd VP|Second Vice-President]], [[Corresponding Secretary]],
[[Recording Secretary]], [[Treasurer]], and [[Sergeant at Arms|Sergeant-at-Arms]].

=ARTICLE VI. [[KGB|ORGANIZATION]] YEAR, [[Annual meeting|ANNUAL MEETING]], [[Elections|ELECTIONS]]=

==Section 1. [[KGB|Organization]] Year==
The organization's fiscal year shall begin on the first day of September and end on the thirty-first day of August. The organization's official year shall begin immediately at the conclusion of the [[elections|election]] at the [[annual meeting]] and shall continue
through the election at the next annual meeting.

==Section 2. [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]]==
No later than the last meeting in the month of December the [[Exec|board]] shall set the date for the Annual Meeting. The annual meeting shall be held in the month of April of each year. At the Annual Meeting the Officers for the ensuing year shall be elected by
secret, written ballot from among those nominated in accordance with Section 4 of this article. They shall take office immediately upon the conclusion of the election and each retiring [[:category:Officers|officer]] shall relinquish all properties and records relating to that office within fifteen (15) days after the [[elections|election]].

==Section 3. [[Elections]]==
The color of elections shall be [[purple]].

===a. Proctors===
For the duration of the [[elections]] at the [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]], a set of at least three proctors shall preside and keep order at the meeting. Ballots shall be counted by at least two proctors. Proctors shall be ineligible to run in that year's elections. Proctors shall be voting members of the organization except as discussed in section VI.3.b.

===b. Normal Proctor Selection===
At least two weeks prior to the [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]], a slate of at least three consenting [[members]] shall be nominated as proctors at a meeting of the [[Exec|Board]]. A member shall not be nominated if any member of the Board objects. At any meeting of the general body thereafter prior to the Annual Meeting, the slate may be modified or approved by a two-thirds (2/3) vote. At any such time, if it has not yet approved a slate of proctors, the organization may elect to request proctors from an external source with a two-thirds (2/3) vote.

===c. Emergency Proctor Selection===
If, at the Annual Meeting, less than three approved proctors are in attendance, the [[members|general body]] shall again have the opportunity to modify and approve the slate of proctors. If no proctors have yet been approved, after at least two failed votes to approve the current slate of proctors the chair may declare an impasse. In such an impasse, five present members not presently nominated for office shall be selected as proctors by random process; or, if five such members cannot be found, five members from the total attendance shall be so selected, but shall remain eligible for election.

===d. [[Elections|Election]] Procedure===
The election of each [[Officers|officer]] shall be concluded before the election of the next begins, and these elections shall be held in order of the chain of command. Write-in ballots or other invalid ballots shall be considered as abstentions. The candidate receiving a majority of the votes cast for each office shall be declared elected. In the case of an all-way tie, an additional round shall be run. Should the tie repeat, the winner shall be decided by the proctors of the election by random process. Otherwise, candidates shall be eliminated by the following method:

# Sort candidates into tiers of people with the same number of votes.
# Starting with the lowest ranking tier, remove tiers from the running in increasing order of rank until removing another would bring the total number of votes removed above 1/3. If there are no tiers with a number of votes below 1/3, remove the lowest ranking tier.
# If more than one candidate remains, run another round.

The winner shall be announced by the election proctors. Vote totals shall not be announced. The ballots shall be destroyed upon completion of the elections.

==Section 4. Nominations==
No person may be a candidate in an [[KGB|organization]] [[elections|election]] who has not been nominated or who is not a voting organization [[members|member]] in good standing. During the last quarter of the official year the Executive Board shall select a [[NomCom|Nominating Committee]] consisting of four (4) members willing to so serve, not more than one (1) of whom shall be a member of the [[Exec|Board]]. The [[Recording Secretary]] shall immediately notify the committee members of their selection. The Board shall name a Chairperson for the committee and it shall be this person's duty to call a committee meeting which shall be held on or before March 1. Once the first meeting has been held, the membership of this committee cannot be altered by the board. No person who has served on the Nominating Committee will be eligible to run in that year's elections.

===a. Duties of the Nominating Committee===
The committee shall encourage as many able members to nominate themselves for offices as possible. If any office has no nominations for candidates, one (1) week before nominations are closed, Nominating Committee shall nominate one (1) person to that position, and after securing the consent of each person so nominated, shall immediately report their nominations to both the [[RecSec|Recording]] and [[CorSec|Corresponding]] Secretaries in writing. Nominating Committee is to do everything in its power to maintain the appearance of neutrality.

===b. Membership Notification of the Report of the Nominating Committee===
Upon receipt of the [[NomCom|Nominating Committee]]'s report, the [[Corresponding Secretary]] shall on or before April 1, notify each member in writing of the candidates so nominated.

===c. Ad hoc Nominations===
Additional nominations may be made at any meeting after the report of the nominating committee and before the [[annual meeting]] by any member in attendance provided that the person so nominated does not decline when his or her name is proposed, and provided further that if the proposed candidate is not in attendance at this meeting, the proposer shall present to the Recording Secretary a written statement of the candidate's willingness to be so nominated. A voting member may be nominated and run for more than one (1) office, but shall only be allowed to hold one (1) office.

===d. Membership Notification of the Final List of Nominees===
Upon finalization of the nominations and at least three days before the annual meeting, the [[Corresponding Secretary]] shall notify each member in writing of the list of candidates.

===e. Exclusion of Other Nominations===
Nominations cannot be made at the [[annual meeting]] or in any manner other than as provided for in this section.

=ARTICLE VII - [[Committees|COMMITTEES]]=

==Section 1. Ordinary [[Committees]]==
The Board may each year appoint standing ordinary committees to advance the work of the organization. Special ordinary committees may also be appointed by the Board to aid it on particular projects. Such committees shall always be subject to the final authority of the Board.

==Section 2. Revision of Ordinary [[Committees]]==
Any ordinary committee appointment may be terminated by the Board upon written notice to the appointee, and the Board may appoint successors to those persons whose services have been terminated.

==Section 3. Extraordinary [[Committees]]==
The organization may appoint extraordinary committees to advance the work of the organization. Each such committee has an owner, who must be a member in good standing of the organization. The owner appoints and replaces the chair of the committee as deemed
appropriate.

==Section 4. Ownership of Extraordinary [[Committees]]==
The owner of an extraordinary committee is determined by auction, the proceeds of which are payable to the organization. In the event of a vacancy in ownership of an extraordinary committee, the organization may fill the vacancy by auction.

==Section 5. Voluntary Transfer of Ownership of Extraordinary [[Committees]]==
The owner of an extraordinary committee may transfer the ownership of the committee to another member in good standing by notifying the Recording Secretary.

==Section 6. Records of [[Committees]]==
The [[Recording Secretary]] shall maintain a record of the membership of all ordinary committees and of the ownership of all
extraordinary committees.

=ARTICLE VIII. [[Disciplinary action|REPRIMAND, SUSPENSION, AND EXPULSION]]=

==Section 1. Responsibility==
Any member of the organization shall be held accountable for any conduct considered injurious to the organization or its purposes and objectives. The gravity of such conduct shall first be considered at a hearing before the [[Executive Board]]. Considering said charges of conduct, the Board may, at its discretion, enforce any of the following punitive actions:

===a. Reprimand===
The [[Exec|Board]] may reprimand the [[members|member]] for minor offenses, which can include, but shall not be limited to, written reprimand, verbal warning, restitution, or organization service.

===b. Suspension===
For offenses of a more serious nature, the [[Exec|Board]] may suspend membership privileges of the [[members|member]] for any length of time, up to the next [[Annual Meeting]] of the organization.

===c. Expulsion===
Considering the most heinous of offenses, the [[Exec|Board]] may propose to the [[KGB|organization]] [[members|membership]] expulsion of the member. The [[KGB|organization]] shall then vote at the next [[Meetings|Regular Meeting]] of the [[KGB|organization]], and the proposal for expulsion shall require a two-thirds (2/3) [[voting|vote]] for approval.

==Section 2. Notice of charges==
Any [[members|member]] so charged shall be given written notice of said hearing at least ten (10) days prior to that hearing, and such [[members|member]] shall have the right to be present at said hearing for the purposes of defense.

==Section 3. Appeal of reprimand or suspension==
Any [[members|member]] affected by Section 1, Parts (a) and (b), of this Article, shall have thirty (30) days to appeal said proceedings. Written notice of appeal shall be presented to the [[Recording Secretary]]. The [[Exec|Board]] shall then, in turn, present the matter to the [[voting]] [[members|membership]] at the next Regular organization [[meetings|meeting]]. An affirmative two-thirds (2/3) [[voting|vote]] shall be required to sustain the actions of the [[Exec|Board]].

==Section 4. Reinstatement==
Any person whose membership is terminated according to Section 1 of this article must present his or her application for reinstatement to the [[Executive Board]] for approval prior to being [[voting|voted]] upon by the general membership.

=ARTICLE IX. PARLIAMENTARY AUTHORITY=

The rules contained in the current edition of [[Robert's Rules of Order|ROBERT'S RULES OF ORDER NEWLY REVISED]] shall govern the [[KGB|organization]] in all cases to which they are applicable and in which they are not inconsistent with these [[Bylaws]] and any special rules of order the [[KGB|organization]] may adopt.

=ARTICLE X. AMENDMENTS=

==Section 1. Proposal of Amendments==
Amendments to these [[bylaws]] may be proposed by the [[Executive Board]] or by written petition addressed to the [[Recording Secretary]]. Amendments proposed by such petition shall be promptly considered by the [[Exec|Board]] and must be submitted to the [[members]] with the recommendations of the [[Exec|Board]] by the [[Recording Secretary]] for a [[voting|vote]] within thirty (30) days of the date when the petition was received by the [[Recording Secretary]].

==Section 2. Approval of Amendments==
These bylaws may be amended by a two-thirds (2/3) [[voting|vote]] at any regular or special [[meetings|meeting]] called for the purpose, provided the proposed amendments have been included in the notice of the meeting and mailed to each [[members|member]] at least six (6) days prior to the date of the meeting.

=ARTICLE XI. DONATIONS=

The [[KGB|organization]] may accept donations in the form of money, equipment or other property to be used for the exclusive benefit of the [[members|membership]], provided however, that all contributions and donations to the organization shall be subject to approval by the [[Exec|Board]].

=ARTICLE XII. DISSOLUTION=

The organization may be dissolved at any time by the written consent of not less than two-thirds (2/3) of the [[voting]] [[members]] in good standing. In the event of the dissolution of the [[KGB|organization]], whether voluntary or involuntary or by operation of law, none of the property of the organization nor any proceeds thereof nor any assets of the [[KGB|organization]] shall be distributed to any [[members]] of the [[KGB|organization]]. After payment of the debts of the [[KGB|organization]], its property and assets shall be given to a similar organization or sold and the money donated to a charitable organization selected by the [[Executive Board]].

=ARTICLE XIII. SUGGESTED ORDER OF BUSINESS=

==Section 1. [[KGB|Organization]] [[meetings]]==
At [[meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]], the order of business, so far as the character and nature of the meeting may permit, shall be as follows:

# Reading and correction of the [[minutes]] of the last regular [[KGB|organization]] [[meetings|meeting]] and any special [[meetings]] or [[Exec|Board]] meetings held in the interim
# Reports of [[officers]]
# Reports of [[committees]]
# [[Old business]]
# New business
# [[Elections]] (at [[annual meeting]])
# Actual Real Relevant Announcements Pertaining to the Business of KGB as an Organization.
# [[Schmucks|Open floor]]

==Section 2. [[Exec|Board]] [[meetings]]==
At [[meetings]] of the [[Exec|Board]], the order of business, unless otherwise directed by majority [[voting|vote]] of those present, shall be as follows:

# Reading and correction of the [[minutes]] of the last regular [[Exec|Board]] [[meetings|meeting]] and any special [[meetings]] or [[KGB|organization]] [[meetings]] held in the interim
# Reports of [[officers]]
# Reports of [[committees]]
# [[Old business]]
# New business

Main Page

2010-04-20T18:02:59Z

Jboning: /* Of "Current" Interest */

2010 Officers

2010-04-20T18:02:38Z

Jboning: We have officers!

[[President]] - [[jboning|Josiah Boning]]

[[First Vice President]] - [[eforney|Emily Forney]]

[[Second Vice President]] - [[zsparks|Zachary "Z." "the Z stands for Zsparks" "Z." "Z." "Z." Sparks]]

[[Corresponding Secretary]] - Arsenij Kouriat

[[Recording Secretary]] -Thomas Wright

[[Treasurer]] - [[smccormick|Sarah McCormick]]

[[Sergeant at Arms]] - Adam "Bubbles" Leibowitz

{{start box}}
{{succession box|title=[[2010 Officers]]|before=[[2009 Officers]]|after=[[2011 Officers]]}}
{{end box}}

[[category:Officers]]

House of Everything

2010-03-10T00:33:45Z

Jboning: Undo revision 3955 by Charlottesmith (Talk)

'''The House of Everything''' (HoE) was the nickname given to the rental property located at [http://maps.google.com/maps?ie=UTF8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&q=&ll=40.446,-79.928099&spn=0.0017,0.001717&t=k&z=19&om=1 5611 Fair Oaks Street] in Pittsburgh's Squirrel Hill neighborhood by its first known KGB residents. The name comes from the newspaper advertisement for the property which claimed that the apartment was "newly renovated" and "has everything". The HoE was the location for numerous game nights, a few parties (including the once legendary "Spaceport Bar" party), and much nefarious KGB-related planning.

The original residents of the HoE were:

* Andrew "[[User:Zarf|Zarf]]" Plotkin
* [[User:Eeyore|Eeyore]] Evans
* Dan Efran

Following their departure, the apartment was home to several other KGB members.

Minutes20091012

2009-12-08T02:47:26Z

Jboning: oops.

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Got his hair cut. It's really short. Has a test tomorrow. Played Psychonauts instead of studying.

==Alan==
Oh man. Has a report. Wants to do more improv. Some work; not too much work. Is lazy.

===New People===
Emily, anthropology/geology, WV, both arms attached

==Richard (Matt Rocket)==
Oh man. Is Richard. Had weekend. Went horseback riding. Ass hurts. We have an event! You should come.

==Emily==
Improv was really fun. Kiltie Band. Got sunburned. ITR. Skipped rolls on Sunday. Injured in the course of duty.

==Josiah==
Oh man. Had a weekend. Co-op cleaning. OS. Family visited. Hit checkpoint 1!

==Laura==
Had a weekend. Did a lot of compilers. Has an Evan in her apartment.

==Derek==
Went to Cirque du Soleil! Missed Glisson's zombie thing; fails at reading email. Found a freezer full of rabbits. Made meatloaf. Hosting a Windows 7 party.

=Committee Reports=

==Scott Pilgrim Committee==
Reports success in converting some of the freshmen.

==Gratuitous Obscenity Committee==
When you go to visit Lake Erie this time of year, be sure to take 5 or 6 layers, because it is cold and windy.

==Cohort Committee==
Dramatic reading: epic thread.

==Ad-Hoc Matt Britton Collects Dr. Seuss Books Committee==
Success

==Sunglasses Committee==
OS Checkpoint today.

==Ad-Hoc Committee for Everyone Except jwatzman Knowing What jwatzman Is Going to Do==
Sent email to mjs requesting switch to Computer Science as primary major

==Ad-Hoc Trumpet Players Are Assholes Committee==

==Ad-Hoc Fortune Telling Canary Committee==
Fortune Telling Fish Committee can't report -- incapacitated for spawning season

==Ad-Hoc Wait, I Recognize That Person Committee==
Paul is in the first picture of CMU that Derek took

==Ad-Hoc Yelling Bird Committee==
Jeph Jacques can't report -- incapacitated for spawning season

==Ad-Hoc Telling Freshmen Stories Committee==
Evan is here; if you don't know who he is, we need to tell you more stories

==Ad-Hoc CMU Can't Keep It Up Committee==
Instead of a little blue pill, we use a big blue crane

==Shawn & Quuxum Variety Hour Committee & Gratuitous Obscenity Committee==
From Shawn: "exploding tape libraries"

==Gratuitous Obscenity Committee Select Subcommittee for the Research and Development of Rule 34==
Pole with 2 cranes touching it

==Call the question!==
Sold to Ben Wolf for $5.

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
Will be presenting a song next week.

==Ska Pirate Committee==
Looking for anyone who plays sax and/or trumpet

=Old Business=
some guy has thing. Global warming is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Commiteee to Braid the Cluster's Hair==
Purpose: To braid the hair of anyone in the cluster whose hair has sufficient length to braid

Purpose: to braid the hair of anyone in the cluster

Has a plan for dealing with clusters of hair: tuttle has a brush

Will be opt-in? Well, walking into the cluster is opt-in...

Favor: braid unbraided hair, unbraid braided hair; Opposed: never touch anyones hair again; Abstain: braid squid tentacles

$5 to Evan; anyone who wants to braid hair

==Committee to Ask if David Klionsky Is Various Characters From Sci-Fi Series==
Purpose: David, are you a Cylon? Yes.

Is David the next Doctor? Yes

David, are you Sully from the X-Files? Yes.

David, are you Teal'c? No.

Favor: ask David what sci-fi character he is; Opposed: insist David is actually from Grey's Anatomy; Abstain: reenact the Darth Vader-Obi Wan Kenobi star wars lightsaber battle

$5 to David; Teal'c

==Dammit, Jim, I'm a Doctor, Not a Caster Committee==
Purpose: AAAAAAAA D&D AAAAAAAAAAA

This committee might lose its wheels

Favor: make a D&D reference; Opposed: make an Exalted reference; Abstain: thank the president for making things interesting by messing up the order all the time

$1 to Ben Wolf; people who get fours

==Allocation of $50 for Event==
Good Idea.

==Confused with Crisamaphone Committee==
Purpose: to contain the everyone Quuxum confuses with Chrisamaphone

David, are you Chrisamaphone?

bblum chrisamagroaned.

Favor: find someone who does not look like Chrisamaphone but insists they are Chrisamaphone; Opposed: insist that there is only one Chrisamaphone (there is no Chrisamaphone but Chrisamaphone and Chrisamaphone is her prophet); Abstain: ???

$5 to Quuxum; Naomi

==??? Committee==
Purpose: to finance the creation of a live-action Zero Wing movie

For great justice!

Ha ha ha ha ha

Motion to table (failed)

Ziro wing in our frut slad

Favor: raise your hand; Opposed: raise your hand; Abstain: call the question
$7 to Tim; Cohort 2.0, him, and Matt

==Monocle Committee==
Purpose: To get more monocles, because I simply must stop being surprised all the time

Could also be used to help defeat the awkward zone; frosty drinks all around!

Favor: be surprised monopole; Opposed: make Glisson smile; Abstain: monocle squid

$7 to zsparks; anyone who likes to do silly things that seem British but aren't at all

==High-Entropy Finance Committee==
Purpose: ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

The Zimbabwean dollar approves

CMU Stock Market Club; failed because the stock grows down

Favor: act out entropy; Opposed: do finance normally; Abstain: [wave arms like hawks]

$3 to jkoppel; anyone who has tried to solve the halting problem while standing in line at a convenience store

==Ditto Committee==
Purpose: turn KGB members into pokemon

krieger krigon krigoria committee approves

Favor: be ditto, but then turn into the person next to you; Opposed: ???; Abstain: be a pile of mashed potatoes -- Digimon was way better

$16 to Dennis; him, Katie, and Cohort 2.0

==Allocation of $10 to buy ctfws.org==
Actual vote. Passed unanimously.

=Announcements=

==Dues==
Pay them.

==Event==
Movie Night in DH A310. Bring movies.

==Pravda?==
Submit!

=Schmucks=

==Steve==
Wants to borrow a wankerous camera for this weekend.

==Rocketmatt==
Rocket club having launch this Saturday on Flagstaff; may be postponed. Watch Facebook (CMU Rocket Command)

==Mander==
Running a challenge course the Saturday after CtFwS

==Quuxum==
Grandfather had 100th birthday. He knew Doherty. The guy. Yeah, that guy. (Worked at Westinghouse from the 1920s to the 1970s.) This is pretty awesome.

[[Category:Minutes]]

Presidential salute

2009-11-18T08:18:03Z

Jboning:

=Normal Procedure=

At anytime, a member of the KGB may move to salute the president. If seconded, the salute proceeds after a count of three.

It usually looks something like this: 
Member 1: Motion to salute the president! 
Member 2: Second! 
(Usually Member 1, but really anyone who feels like it): 3... 2... 1... 
Everyone (while holding up a middle finger): Fuck you, <the President's name goes here>

The presidential salute is used most often at important meetings (first of the year, CtFwS rules explanation, elections, &c.) or whenever the president messes something up.

=Variants=

This motion is not reserved for the President and can be applied to anyone really.

Members may also give a thumbs-up or make a heart shape out of their hands instead of flipping the bird. This is often accompanied by "thank you", "we love you", or some other appropriately heartwarming phrase.

KGB was once in the presence of small children and had to replace "Fuck you" with "Thank you", hence the creation of the kinder presidential salute.

Minutes20091012

2009-10-13T03:52:06Z

Jboning: Minutes!

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Got his hair cut. It's really short. Has a test tomorrow. Played Psychonauts instead of studying.

==Alan==
Oh man. Has a report. Wants to do more improv. Some work; not too much work. Is lazy.

===New People===
Emily, anthropology/geology, WV, both arms attached

==Richard (Matt Rocket)==
Oh man. Is Richard. Had weekend. Went horseback riding. Ass hurts. We have an event! You should come.

==Emily==
Improv was really fun. Kiltie Band. Got sunburned. ITR. Skipped rolls on Sunday. Injured in the course of duty.

==Josiah==
Oh man. Had a weekend. Co-op cleaning. OS. Family visited. Hit checkpoint 1!

==Laura==
Had a weekend. Did a lot of compilers. Has an Evan in her apartment.

==Derek==
Went to Cirque du Soleil! Missed Glisson's zombie thing; fails at reading email. Found a freezer full of rabbits. Made meatloaf. Hosting a Windows 7 party.

=Committee Reports=

==Scott Pilgrim Committee==
Reports success in converting some of the freshmen.

==Gratuitous Obscenity Committee==
When you go to visit Lake Erie this time of year, be sure to take 5 or 6 layers, because it is cold and windy.

==Cohort Committee==
Dramatic reading: epic thread.

==Ad-Hoc Matt Britton Collects Dr. Seuss Books Committee==
Success

==Sunglasses Committee==
OS Checkpoint today.

==Ad-Hoc Committee for Everyone Except jwatzman Knowing What jwatzman Is Going to Do==
Sent email to mjs requesting switch to Computer Science as primary major

==Ad-Hoc Trumpet Players Are Assholes Committee==

==Ad-Hoc Fortune Telling Canary Committee==
Fortune Telling Fish Committee can't report -- incapacitated for spawning season

==Ad-Hoc Wait, I Recognize That Person Committee==
Paul is in the first picture of CMU that Derek took

==Ad-Hoc Yelling Bird Committee==
Jeph Jacques can't report -- incapacitated for spawning season

==Ad-Hoc Telling Freshmen Stories Committee==
Evan is here; if you don't know who he is, we need to tell you more stories

==Ad-Hoc CMU Can't Keep It Up Committee==
Instead of a little blue pill, we use a big blue crane

==Shawn & Quuxum Variety Hour Committee & Gratuitous Obscenity Committee==
From Shawn: "exploding tape libraries"

==Gratuitous Obscenity Committee Select Subcommittee for the Research and Development of Rule 34==
Pole with 2 cranes touching it

==Call the question!==
Sold to Ben Wolf for $5.

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
Will be presenting a song next week.

==Ska Pirate Committee==
Looking for anyone who plays sax and/or trumpet

=Old Business=
some guy has thing. Global warming is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Commiteee to Braid the Cluster's Hair==
Purpose: To braid the hair of anyone in the cluster whose hair has sufficient length to braid

Purpose: to braid the hair of anyone in the cluster

Has a plan for dealing with clusters of hair: tuttle has a brush

Will be opt-in? Well, walking into the cluster is opt-in...

Favor: braid unbraided hair, unbraid braided hair; Opposed: never touch anyones hair again; Abstain: braid squid tentacles

$5 to Evan; anyone who wants to braid hair

==Committee to Ask if David Klionsky Is Various Characters From Sci-Fi Series==
Purpose: David, are you a Cylon? Yes.

Is David the next Doctor? Yes

David, are you Sully from the X-Files? Yes.

David, are you Teal'c? No.

Favor: ask David what sci-fi character he is; Opposed: insist David is actually from Grey's Anatomy; Abstain: reenact the Darth Vader-Obi Wan Kenobi star wars lightsaber battle

$5 to David; Teal'c

==Dammit, Jim, I'm a Doctor, Not a Caster Committee==
Purpose: AAAAAAAA D&D AAAAAAAAAAA

This committee might lose its wheels

Favor: make a D&D reference; Opposed: make an Exalted reference; Abstain: thank the president for making things interesting by messing up the order all the time

$1 to Ben Wolf; people who get fours

==Allocation of $50 for Event==
Good Idea.

==Confused with Crisamaphone Committee==
Purpose: to contain the everyone Quuxum confuses with Chrisamaphone

David, are you Chrisamaphone?

bblum chrisamagroaned.

Favor: find someone who does not look like Chrisamaphone but insists they are Chrisamaphone; Opposed: insist that there is only one Chrisamaphone (there is no Chrisamaphone but Chrisamaphone and Chrisamaphone is her prophet); Abstain: ???

$5 to Quuxum; Naomi

==??? Committee==
Purpose: to finance the creation of a live-action Zero Wing movie

For great justice!

Ha ha ha ha ha

Motion to table (failed)

Ziro wing in our frut slad

Favor: raise your hand; Opposed: raise your hand; Abstain: call the question
$7 to Tim; Cohort 2.0, him, and Matt

==Monocle Committee==
Purpose: To get more monocles, because I simply must stop being surprised all the time

Could also be used to help defeat the awkward zone; frosty drinks all around!

Favor: be surprised monopole; Opposed: make Glisson smile; Abstain: monocle squid

$7 to zsparks; anyone who likes to do silly things that seem British but aren't at all

==High-Entropy Finance Committee==
Purpose: ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

The Zimbabwean dollar approves

CMU Stock Market Club; failed because the stock grows down

Favor: act out entropy; Opposed: do finance normally; Abstain: [wave arms like hawks]

$3 to jkoppel; anyone who has tried to solve the halting problem while standing in line at a convenience store

==Ditto Committee==
Purpose: turn KGB members into pokemon

krieger krigon krigoria committee approves

Favor: be ditto, but then turn into the person next to you; Opposed: ???; Abstain: be a pile of mashed potatoes -- Digimon was way better

$16 to Dennis; him, Kate, and Cohort 2.0

==Allocation of $10 to buy ctfws.org==
Actual vote. Passed unanimously.

=Announcements=

==Dues==
Pay them.

==Event==
Movie Night in DH A310. Bring movies.

==Pravda?==
Submit!

=Schmucks=

==Steve==
Wants to borrow a wankerous camera for this weekend.

==Rocketmatt==
Rocket club having launch this Saturday on Flagstaff; may be postponed. Watch Facebook (CMU Rocket Command)

==Mander==
Running a challenge course the Saturday after CtFwS

==Quuxum==
Grandfather had 100th birthday. He knew Doherty. The guy. Yeah, that guy. (Worked at Westinghouse from the 1920s to the 1970s.) This is pretty awesome.

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20091005

2009-10-10T04:41:37Z

Jboning: Simultaneous knowing-people's-names and hearing fail

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a weekend. Best friend from high school came. Knows about the KGB; never actually saw the KGB. Lost voice. Has cardboard tube.

==Alan==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Not enough sleep.

===New People===
Clyde, CS, NY (long island), sometimes stares at the sun for too long

Jason, high school, looking to be CS, has five fingers on right hand including thumb.

Liz, ECE, born in Moscow, likes sushi

==Richard (zsparks)==
Had a weekend. Involved being Richard; certainly not being zsparks and making pie.

==Emily==
Had a weekend. Saw friends from last year. Will be flagging for CIA. #cslounge

==Josiah==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Missed event due to InterVarsity overnighter. While at the church, found a hatch in the floor. There should be a Committee to Tunnel Everywhere.

==Laura==
Had a weekend. Involved a lot of compilers. Needs to do more compilers.

==Derek==
Had a week. Yahoo happened. Got up early on Saturday to climb around on a defector's house redoing electrical wiring.

=Announcements=

==Underground Tour==
Some shit got broken on the Tour. It needs to get paid for, either by us or other responsible parties. They want some sort of service project, either by us or other responsible parties.

Have ideas for service projects! Have ideas so awesome that we can't believe we didn't think of them before. Best case scenario: we find something that (1) fulfills the requirement, (2) is so awesome that we reeeaaally want to do it, (3) improves the public perception of KGB, and (4) helps some people realize that KGB is a place where they fit in!

We're going to try to make sure that this doesn't happen in the future.
* Emphasize rule 0
* Remind members to help keep public events orderly

=Committee Reports=

==Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes==
A pirate's favorite file transfer program: rsync

==The Kesdenpult Committee==
Soon there will be a new place to launch

==Committee to Bring KGB Down From the Inside==
CIA defections from Exec are going at an acceptable rate

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
List of Guitarmy ranks

==Fortune Telling Fish Committee==
Misappropriates Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7: r7 residents should learn to swim really really soon

==Cohort 2.0 Committee==
Pie

==Misappropriated More Pants Committee==
If you have left a pair of size 34 jean shorts in Roselawn 7, notify Ben Wolf or they will be discarded on 10/10.

==I Rolled a Four Committee==
Success

==Misappropriated Committee to Amend Committee Reports of Others==
Used to get this feeling of wanting to run around naked. Got some windex, and it keeps him from streaking.

==Pop Occultism Committee==
When one must, one can.
Look, good fortune is around you.

==Misappropriated Commitee to Vie For jokeserver's Crown==

==Ad-Hoc Worst Spoonerisms Ever Committee==
Alan was with some camp leadership people; leader tried to say "only one more day guys" and s/d/g/

=Old Business=

Avi has the thing. The sad, sorry fate of those in Roselawn 7 is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS==
Purpose: Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS

Will also be inviting tails of state

Will also be inviting previous revisions of state

Would the secret service agents wield wand of vengeance?

Note: CTFWS has been held in Scotland!

Favor: impersonate heads of state being hit with a wand of vengeance; Opposed: give a fox news report about barack obama playing ctfws; Abstain: impersonate Barack Obama playing basketball

$5 to Alan; anyone who enjoys CTFWS

==Teddy Roosevelt Was a Liar Commitee==
Purpose: to avoid speoaking softly and carrying big sticks

THE LOUD COMMITTEE APPROVES

Ad-Hoc Committee to Perform Stealth Operations with a Telephone Pole approves

Favor: be very soft but brandish your stick; Opposed: be very loud and have a small stick; Abstain: give the evil eye to zach sparks

$4 to aballard; disbanded (because TR was such a badass, he'd rise from the grave and kill us all)

==The Chair Does Not Recognize Yo' Ass Commmittee==
Purpose: to get Glisson to say "the chair does not RECOGNIZE yo' ass" more often

The CIA has special chairs that do a butt scan.
* aren't those called copiers?

Favor: follow robert's rules to the letter by voting in a calm manner; Opposed: attempt to create a committee

$5 to Alan; Glisson

==Ska Pirates Committee==
Feels very strongly about heavy metal ninjas

Favor: pirate a ska player; Opposed: politely buy a classical music player; Abstain: pirate Ben Wolf

$6 to Matt; anybody who enjoys ska and/or pirates

==Allocate $50 for event==
Good Idea.

==Vespene Neutrality Committee==
Purpose: to reduce KGB's reliance on foreign sources of vespene gas

Vespene? Where we're going, ...

Purpose (appended): to promote the use of clean vespene

Construct additional tangerines

Do you know how many jobs there are in the vespene industry?

Favor: require cleaner vespene gas; Opposed: require more vespene gas; Abstain: build more grunts

$3 to Quuxum; anybody who's waving their hand right now

=Announcements=

==Event==
Improv Night! PH A18B.

==Dues==
Pay your dues! The sheet is up to date.

==Puzzle Hunt==
Happening on Nov 7th, the week before Microsoft puzzle challenge. Looking for staff, and staph, and strep. And playtesters. Email djurado@andrew.

==Pravda?==
SUBMIT TO IT.

=Schmucks=

==Shawn==
Got new glasses; laptop screens are parallelograms.

[[Category:Minutes]]

MinutesExec20091009

2009-10-10T04:40:41Z

Jboning:

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a week. Prof likes project. This is good. Bought a top hat. This is good. Matches goggles. ". Evan is here "

==Alan==
Had a week. Stress with professor needing to present to money peoples with not results

==Richard==
Got people to go shopping for the event. didn't have to carry stuff back

==Emily==
Had three tests this week. Next week will be easier.

==Josiah==
Pretty owned.

==Laura==
There's an Evan living in her apartment.

==Derek (Jared)==
Has a report. Not actually here.

=Business=

==Renew the Kage==

==UG Tour Incident==
* Emailed Gina.
* Managed to break CMU property and get on the good side of the administration
* Josiah talked to Michael
** Sounds like several unidentifiable people involved; not likely we will find any
* Service Project
** C-MITES
*** Would play to KGB's strengths
*** would qualify? (Planning counts, too.)
*** Event: KGB Indoctrinates Small Children!
*** Need to make sure we would fit in their schedule, not do something they do already, etc.
*** Email to the b-board about whether there is consensus, then email Gina

==ETC Social Game==
* Want to meet with the members of KGB

==Upcoming Events==
* Movie Night
* CTFWS
** Rooms reserved
** CMUEMS and CMUPD
** Email call for judges again
** Stuff Inventory
** Presentation: spiffy up?
** Judges' meeting
** Register ctfws.org?
*** dooooo it: allocation on Monday

[[Category:Minutes]]

MinutesExec20091009

2009-10-09T22:51:40Z

Jboning: Minutes!

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a week. Prof likes project. This is good. Bought a top hat. This is good. Matches goggles. ". Evan is here "

==Alan==
Had a week. Stress with professor needing to present to money peoples with not results

==Richard==
Got people to go shopping for the event. didn't have to carry stuff back

==Emily==
Had three tests this week. Next week will be easier.

Josiah
Pretty owned.

==Laura==
There's an Evan living in her apartment.

==Derek (Jared)==
Has a report. Not actually here.

=Business=

==Renew the Kage==

==UG Tour Incident==
* Emailed Gina.
* Managed to break CMU property and get on the good side of the administration
* Josiah talked to Michael
** Sounds like several unidentifiable people involved; not likely we will find any
* Service Project
** C-MITES
*** Would play to KGB's strengths
*** would qualify? (Planning counts, too.)
*** Event: KGB Indoctrinates Small Children!
*** Need to make sure we would fit in their schedule, not do something they do already, etc.
*** Email to the b-board about whether there is consensus, then email Gina

==ETC Social Game==
* Want to meet with the members of KGB

==Upcoming Events==
* Movie Night
* CTFWS
** Rooms reserved
** CMUEMS and CMUPD
** Email call for judges again
** Stuff Inventory
** Presentation: spiffy up?
** Judges' meeting
** Register ctfws.org?
*** dooooo it: allocation on Monday

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20091005

2009-10-06T07:14:50Z

Jboning: /* New People */ arg blarg

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a weekend. Best friend from high school came. Knows about the KGB; never actually saw the KGB. Lost voice. Has cardboard tube.

==Alan==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Not enough sleep.

===New People===
Clyde, CS, NY (long island), sometimes stares at the sun for too long

Jason, high school, looking to be CS, has five fingers on right hand including thumb.

Liz, ECE, born in Moscow, likes sushi

==Richard (zsparks)==
Had a weekend. Involved being Richard; certainly not being zsparks and making pie.

==Emily==
Had a weekend. Saw friends from last year. Will be flagging for CIA. #cslounge

==Josiah==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Missed event due to InterVarsity overnighter. While at the church, found a hatch in the floor. There should be a Committee to Tunnel Everywhere.

==Laura==
Had a weekend. Involved a lot of compilers. Needs to do more compilers.

==Derek==
Had a week. Yahoo happened. Got up early on Saturday to climb around on a defector's house redoing electrical wiring.

=Announcements=

==Underground Tour==
Some shit got broken on the Tour. It needs to get paid for, either by us or other responsible parties. They want some sort of service project, either by us or other responsible parties.

Have ideas for service projects! Have ideas so awesome that we can't believe we didn't think of them before. Best case scenario: we find something that (1) fulfills the requirement, (2) is so awesome that we reeeaaally want to do it, (3) improves the public perception of KGB, and (4) helps some people realize that KGB is a place where they fit in!

We're going to try to make sure that this doesn't happen in the future.
* Emphasize rule 0
* Remind members to help keep public events orderly

=Committee Reports=

==Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes==
A pirate's favorite file transfer program: rsync

==The Kesdenpult Committee==
Soon there will be a new place to launch

==Committee to Bring KGB Down From the Inside==
CIA defections from Exec are going at an acceptable rate

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
List of Guitarmy ranks

==Fortune Telling Fish Committee==
Misappropriates Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7: r7 residents should learn to swim really really soon

==Cohort 2.0 Committee==
Pie

==Misappropriated More Pants Committee==
If you have left a pair of size 34 jean shorts in Roselawn 7, notify Ben Wolf or they will be discarded on 10/10.

==I Rolled a Four Committee==
Success

==Misappropriated Committee to Amend Committee Reports of Others==
Used to get this feeling of wanting to run around naked. Got some windex, and it keeps him from streaking.

==Pop Occultism Committee==
When one must, one can.
Look, good fortune is around you.

==Misappropriated Commitee to Vie For jokeserver's Crown==

==Ad-Hoc Worst Spoonerisms Ever Committee==
Alan was with some camp leadership people; leader tried to say "only one more day guys" and s/d/g/

=Old Business=

David has the thing. The sad, sorry fate of those in Roselawn 7 is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS==
Purpose: Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS

Will also be inviting tails of state

Will also be inviting previous revisions of state

Would the secret service agents wield wand of vengeance?

Note: CTFWS has been held in Scotland!

Favor: impersonate heads of state being hit with a wand of vengeance; Opposed: give a fox news report about barack obama playing ctfws; Abstain: impersonate Barack Obama playing basketball

$5 to Alan; anyone who enjoys CTFWS

==Teddy Roosevelt Was a Liar Commitee==
Purpose: to avoid speoaking softly and carrying big sticks

THE LOUD COMMITTEE APPROVES

Ad-Hoc Committee to Perform Stealth Operations with a Telephone Pole approves

Favor: be very soft but brandish your stick; Opposed: be very loud and have a small stick; Abstain: give the evil eye to zach sparks

$4 to aballard; disbanded (because TR was such a badass, he'd rise from the grave and kill us all)

==The Chair Does Not Recognize Yo' Ass Commmittee==
Purpose: to get Glisson to say "the chair does not RECOGNIZE yo' ass" more often

The CIA has special chairs that do a butt scan.
* aren't those called copiers?

Favor: follow robert's rules to the letter by voting in a calm manner; Opposed: attempt to create a committee

$5 to Alan; Glisson

==Ska Pirates Committee==
Feels very strongly about heavy metal ninjas

Favor: pirate a ska player; Opposed: politely buy a classical music player; Abstain: pirate Ben Wolf

$6 to Matt; anybody who enjoys ska and/or pirates

==Allocate $50 for event==
Good Idea.

==Vespene Neutrality Committee==
Purpose: to reduce KGB's reliance on foreign sources of vespene gas

Vespene? Where we're going, ...

Purpose (appended): to promote the use of clean vespene

Construct additional tangerines

Do you know how many jobs there are in the vespene industry?

Favor: require cleaner vespene gas; Opposed: require more vespene gas; Abstain: build more grunts

$3 to Quuxum; anybody who's waving their hand right now

=Announcements=

==Event==
Improv Night! PH A18B.

==Dues==
Pay your dues! The sheet is up to date.

==Puzzle Hunt==
Happening on Nov 7th, the week before Microsoft puzzle challenge. Looking for staff, and staph, and strep. And playtesters. Email djurado@andrew.

==Pravda?==
SUBMIT TO IT.

=Schmucks=

==Shawn==
Got new glasses; laptop screens are parallelograms.

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20091005

2009-10-06T07:14:09Z

Jboning: Yet moar editing fail.

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a weekend. Best friend from high school came. Knows about the KGB; never actually saw the KGB. Lost voice. Has cardboard tube.

==Alan==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Not enough sleep.

===New People===
Clyde, CS, NY (long island), sometimes stares at the sun for too long
Jason, high school, looking to be CS, has five fingers on right hand including thumb.
Liz, ECE, born in Moscow, likes sushi

==Richard (zsparks)==
Had a weekend. Involved being Richard; certainly not being zsparks and making pie.

==Emily==
Had a weekend. Saw friends from last year. Will be flagging for CIA. #cslounge

==Josiah==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Missed event due to InterVarsity overnighter. While at the church, found a hatch in the floor. There should be a Committee to Tunnel Everywhere.

==Laura==
Had a weekend. Involved a lot of compilers. Needs to do more compilers.

==Derek==
Had a week. Yahoo happened. Got up early on Saturday to climb around on a defector's house redoing electrical wiring.

=Announcements=

==Underground Tour==
Some shit got broken on the Tour. It needs to get paid for, either by us or other responsible parties. They want some sort of service project, either by us or other responsible parties.

Have ideas for service projects! Have ideas so awesome that we can't believe we didn't think of them before. Best case scenario: we find something that (1) fulfills the requirement, (2) is so awesome that we reeeaaally want to do it, (3) improves the public perception of KGB, and (4) helps some people realize that KGB is a place where they fit in!

We're going to try to make sure that this doesn't happen in the future.
* Emphasize rule 0
* Remind members to help keep public events orderly

=Committee Reports=

==Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes==
A pirate's favorite file transfer program: rsync

==The Kesdenpult Committee==
Soon there will be a new place to launch

==Committee to Bring KGB Down From the Inside==
CIA defections from Exec are going at an acceptable rate

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
List of Guitarmy ranks

==Fortune Telling Fish Committee==
Misappropriates Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7: r7 residents should learn to swim really really soon

==Cohort 2.0 Committee==
Pie

==Misappropriated More Pants Committee==
If you have left a pair of size 34 jean shorts in Roselawn 7, notify Ben Wolf or they will be discarded on 10/10.

==I Rolled a Four Committee==
Success

==Misappropriated Committee to Amend Committee Reports of Others==
Used to get this feeling of wanting to run around naked. Got some windex, and it keeps him from streaking.

==Pop Occultism Committee==
When one must, one can.
Look, good fortune is around you.

==Misappropriated Commitee to Vie For jokeserver's Crown==

==Ad-Hoc Worst Spoonerisms Ever Committee==
Alan was with some camp leadership people; leader tried to say "only one more day guys" and s/d/g/

=Old Business=

David has the thing. The sad, sorry fate of those in Roselawn 7 is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS==
Purpose: Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS

Will also be inviting tails of state

Will also be inviting previous revisions of state

Would the secret service agents wield wand of vengeance?

Note: CTFWS has been held in Scotland!

Favor: impersonate heads of state being hit with a wand of vengeance; Opposed: give a fox news report about barack obama playing ctfws; Abstain: impersonate Barack Obama playing basketball

$5 to Alan; anyone who enjoys CTFWS

==Teddy Roosevelt Was a Liar Commitee==
Purpose: to avoid speoaking softly and carrying big sticks

THE LOUD COMMITTEE APPROVES

Ad-Hoc Committee to Perform Stealth Operations with a Telephone Pole approves

Favor: be very soft but brandish your stick; Opposed: be very loud and have a small stick; Abstain: give the evil eye to zach sparks

$4 to aballard; disbanded (because TR was such a badass, he'd rise from the grave and kill us all)

==The Chair Does Not Recognize Yo' Ass Commmittee==
Purpose: to get Glisson to say "the chair does not RECOGNIZE yo' ass" more often

The CIA has special chairs that do a butt scan.
* aren't those called copiers?

Favor: follow robert's rules to the letter by voting in a calm manner; Opposed: attempt to create a committee

$5 to Alan; Glisson

==Ska Pirates Committee==
Feels very strongly about heavy metal ninjas

Favor: pirate a ska player; Opposed: politely buy a classical music player; Abstain: pirate Ben Wolf

$6 to Matt; anybody who enjoys ska and/or pirates

==Allocate $50 for event==
Good Idea.

==Vespene Neutrality Committee==
Purpose: to reduce KGB's reliance on foreign sources of vespene gas

Vespene? Where we're going, ...

Purpose (appended): to promote the use of clean vespene

Construct additional tangerines

Do you know how many jobs there are in the vespene industry?

Favor: require cleaner vespene gas; Opposed: require more vespene gas; Abstain: build more grunts

$3 to Quuxum; anybody who's waving their hand right now

=Announcements=

==Event==
Improv Night! PH A18B.

==Dues==
Pay your dues! The sheet is up to date.

==Puzzle Hunt==
Happening on Nov 7th, the week before Microsoft puzzle challenge. Looking for staff, and staph, and strep. And playtesters. Email djurado@andrew.

==Pravda?==
SUBMIT TO IT.

=Schmucks=

==Shawn==
Got new glasses; laptop screens are parallelograms.

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20091005

2009-10-06T07:06:35Z

Jboning: Moar editing fail. Need sleep.

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a weekend. Best friend from high school came. Knows about the KGB; never actually saw the KGB. Lost voice. Has cardboard tube.

==Alan==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Not enough sleep.

===New People===
Clyde, CS, NY (long island), sometimes stares at the sun for too long
Jason, high school, looking to be CS, has five fingers on right hand including thumb.
Liz, ECE, born in Moscow, likes sushi

==Richard (zsparks)==
Had a weekend. Involved being Richard; certainly not being zsparks and making pie.

==Emily==
Had a weekend. Saw friends from last year. Will be flagging for CIA. #cslounge

==Josiah==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Missed event due to InterVarsity overnighter. While at the church, found a hatch in the floor. There should be a Committee to Tunnel Everywhere.

==Laura==
Had a weekend. Involved a lot of compilers. Needs to do more compilers.

==Derek==
Had a week. Yahoo happened. Got up early on Saturday to climb around on a defector's house redoing electrical wiring.

=Announcements=

==Underground Tour==
Some shit got broken on the Tour. It needs to get paid for, either by us or other responsible parties. They want some sort of service project, either by us or other responsible parties.

Have ideas for service projects! Have ideas so awesome that we can't believe we didn't think of them before. Best case scenario: we find something that (1) fulfills the requirement, (2) is so awesome that we reeeaaally want to do it, (3) improves the public perception of KGB, and (4) helps some people realize that KGB is a place where they fit in!

We're going to try to make sure that this doesn't happen in the future.
* Emphasize rule 0
* Remind members to help keep public events orderly

=Committee Reports=

==Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes==
A pirate's favorite file transfer program: rsync

==The Kesdenpult Committee==
Soon there will be a new place to launch

==Committee to Bring KGB Down From the Inside==
CIA defections from Exec are going at an acceptable rate

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
List of Guitarmy ranks

==Fortune Telling Fish Committee==
Misappropriates Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7: r7 residents should learn to swim really really soon

==Cohort 2.0 Committee==
Pie

==Misappropriated More Pants Committee==
If you have left a pair of size 34 jean shorts in Roselawn 7, notify Ben Wolf or they will be discarded on 10/10.

==I Rolled a Four Committee==
Success

==Misappropriated Committee to Amend Committee Reports of Others==
Used to get this feeling of wanting to run around naked. Got some windex, and it keeps him from streaking.

==Pop Occultism Committee==
When one must, one can.
Look, good fortune is around you.

==Misappropriated Commitee to Vie For jokeserver's Crown==

==Ad-Hoc Worst Spoonerisms Ever Committee==
Alan was with some camp leadership people; leader tried to say "only one more day guys" and s/d/g/

=Old Business=

David has the thing. The sad, sorry fate of those in Roselawn 7 is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS==
Purpose: Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS
Will also be inviting tails of state
Will also be inviting previous revisions of state
Would the secret service agents wield wand of vengeance?
Note: CTFWS has been held in Scotland!
Favor: impersonate heads of state being hit with a wand of vengeance; Opposed: give a fox news report about barack obama playing ctfws; Abstain: impersonate Barack Obama playing basketball
$5 to Alan; anyone who enjoys CTFWS

==Teddy Roosevelt Was a Liar Commitee==
Purpose: to avoid speoaking softly and carrying big sticks
THE LOUD COMMITTEE APPROVES
Ad-Hoc Committee to Perform Stealth Operations with a Telephone Pole approves
Favor: be very soft but brandish your stick; Opposed: be very loud and have a small stick; Abstain: give the evil eye to zach sparks
$4 to aballard; disbanded (because TR was such a badass, he'd rise from the grave and kill us all)

==The Chair Does Not Recognize Yo' Ass Commmittee==
Purpose: to get Glisson to say "the chair does not RECOGNIZE yo' ass" more often
The CIA has special chairs that do a butt scan.
- aren't those called copiers?
Favor: follow robert's rules to the letter by voting in a calm manner; Opposed: attempt to create a committee
$5 to Alan; Glisson

==Ska Pirates Committee==
Feels very strongly about heavy metal ninjas
Favor: pirate a ska player; Opposed: politely buy a classical music player; Abstain: pirate Ben Wolf
$6 to Matt; anybody who enjoys ska and/or pirates

==Allocate $50 for event==
Good Idea.

==Vespene Neutrality Committee==
Purpose: to reduce KGB's reliance on foreign sources of vespene gas
Vespene? Where we're going, ...
Purpose (appended): to promote the use of clean vespene
Construct additional tangerines
Do you know how many jobs there are in the vespene industry?
Favor: require cleaner vespene gas; Opposed: require more vespene gas; Abstain: build more grunts
$3 to Quuxum; anybody who's waving their hand right now

=Announcements=

==Event==
Improv Night! PH A18B.

==Dues==
Pay your dues! The sheet is up to date.

==Puzzle Hunt==
Happening on Nov 7th, the week before Microsoft puzzle challenge. Looking for staff, and staph, and strep. And playtesters. Email djurado@andrew.

==Pravda?==
SUBMIT TO IT.

=Schmucks=

==Shawn==
Got new glasses; laptop screens are parallelograms.

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20091005

2009-10-06T07:05:46Z

Jboning: Editing fail.

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a weekend. Best friend from high school came. Knows about the KGB; never actually saw the KGB. Lost voice. Has cardboard tube.

==Alan==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Not enough sleep.

===New People===
Clyde, CS, NY (long island), sometimes stares at the sun for too long
Jason, high school, looking to be CS, has five fingers on right hand including thumb.
Liz, ECE, born in Moscow, likes sushi

==Richard (zsparks)==
Had a weekend. Involved being Richard; certainly not being zsparks and making pie.

==Emily==
Had a weekend. Saw friends from last year. Will be flagging for CIA. #cslounge

==Josiah==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Missed event due to InterVarsity overnighter. While at the church, found a hatch in the floor. There should be a Committee to Tunnel Everywhere.

==Laura==
Had a weekend. Involved a lot of compilers. Needs to do more compilers.

==Derek==
Had a week. Yahoo happened. Got up early on Saturday to climb around on a defector's house redoing electrical wiring.

=Announcements=

==Underground Tour==
Some shit got broken on the Tour. It needs to get paid for, either by us or other responsible parties. They want some sort of service project, either by us or other responsible parties.

Have ideas for service projects! Have ideas so awesome that we can't believe we didn't think of them before. Best case scenario: we find something that (1) fulfills the requirement, (2) is so awesome that we reeeaaally want to do it, (3) improves the public perception of KGB, and (4) helps some people realize that KGB is a place where they fit in!

We're going to try to make sure that this doesn't happen in the future.
* Emphasize rule 0
* Remind members to help keep public events orderly

=Committee Reports=

==Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes==
A pirate's favorite file transfer program: rsync

==The Kesdenpult Committee==
Soon there will be a new place to launch

==Committee to Bring KGB Down From the Inside==
CIA defections from Exec are going at an acceptable rate

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
List of Guitarmy ranks

==Fortune Telling Fish Committee==
Misappropriates Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7: r7 residents should learn to swim really really soon

==Cohort 2.0 Committee==
Pie

==Misappropriated More Pants Committee==
If you have left a pair of size 34 jean shorts in Roselawn 7, notify Ben Wolf or they will be discarded on 10/10.

==I Rolled a Four Committee==
Success

==Misappropriated Committee to Amend Committee Reports of Others==
Used to get this feeling of wanting to run around naked. Got some windex, and it keeps him from streaking.

==Pop Occultism Committee==
When one must, one can.
Look, good fortune is around you.

==Misappropriated Commitee to Vie For jokeserver's Crown==

==Ad-Hoc Worst Spoonerisms Ever Committee==
Alan was with some camp leadership people; leader tried to say "only one more day guys" and s/d/g/

=Old Business=

David has the thing. The sad, sorry fate of those in Roselawn 7 is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS==
Purpose: Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS
Will also be inviting tails of state
Will also be inviting previous revisions of state
Would the secret service agents wield wand of vengeance?
Note: CTFWS has been held in Scotland!
Favor: impersonate heads of state being hit with a wand of vengeance; Opposed: give a fox news report about barack obama playing ctfws; Abstain: impersonate Barack Obama playing basketball
$5 to Alan; anyone who enjoys CTFWS

==Teddy Roosevelt Was a Liar==
Purpose: to avoid speoaking softly and carrying big sticks
THE LOUD COMMITTEE APPROVES
Ad-Hoc Committee to Perform Stealth Operations with a Telephone Pole approves
Favor: be very soft but brandish your stick; Opposed: be very loud and have a small stick; Abstain: give the evil eye to zach sparks
$4 to aballard; disbanded (because TR was such a badass, he'd rise from the grave and kill us all)

==The Chair Does Not Recognize Yo' Ass Commmittee==
Purpose: to get Glisson to say "the chair does not RECOGNIZE yo' ass" more often
The CIA has special chairs that do a butt scan.
- aren't those called copiers?
Favor: follow robert's rules to the letter by voting in a calm manner; Opposed: attempt to create a committee
$5 to Alan; Glisson

==Ska Pirates Committee==
Feels very strongly about heavy metal ninjas
Favor: pirate a ska player; Opposed: politely buy a classical music player; Abstain: pirate Ben Wolf
$6 to Matt; anybody who enjoys ska and/or pirates

==Allocate $50 for event==
Good Idea.

==Vespene Neutrality Committee==
Purpose: to reduce KGB's reliance on foreign sources of vespene gas
Vespene? Where we're going, ...
Purpose (appended): to promote the use of clean vespene
Construct additional tangerines
Do you know how many jobs there are in the vespene industry?
Favor: require cleaner vespene gas; Opposed: require more vespene gas; Abstain: build more grunts
$3 to Quuxum; anybody who's waving their hand right now

=Announcements=

==Event==
Improv Night! PH A18B.

==Dues==
Pay your dues! The sheet is up to date.

==Puzzle Hunt==
Happening on Nov 7th, the week before Microsoft puzzle challenge. Looking for staff, and staph, and strep. And playtesters. Email djurado@andrew.

==Pravda?==
SUBMIT TO IT.

=Schmucks=

==Shawn==
Got new glasses; laptop screens are parallelograms.

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20091005

2009-10-06T07:03:55Z

Jboning: Fail.

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a weekend. Best friend from high school came. Knows about the KGB; never actually saw the KGB. Lost voice. Has cardboard tube.

==Alan==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Not enough sleep.

===New People===
Clyde, CS, NY (long island), sometimes stares at the sun for too long
Jason, high school, looking to be CS, has five fingers on right hand including thumb.
Liz, ECE, born in Moscow, likes sushi

==Richard (zsparks)==
Had a weekend. Involved being Richard; certainly not being zsparks and making pie.

==Emily==
Had a weekend. Saw friends from last year. Will be flagging for CIA. #cslounge

==Josiah==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Missed event due to InterVarsity overnighter. While at the church, found a hatch in the floor. There should be a Committee to Tunnel Everywhere.

==Laura==
Had a weekend. Involved a lot of compilers. Needs to do more compilers.

==Derek==
Had a week. Yahoo happened. Got up early on Saturday to climb around on a defector's house redoing electrical wiring.

=Announcements=

==Underground Tour==
Some shit got broken on the Tour. It needs to get paid for, either by us or other responsible parties. They want some sort of service project, either by us or other responsible parties.

Have ideas for service projects! Have ideas so awesome that we can't believe we didn't think of them before. Best case scenario: we find something that (1) fulfills the requirement, (2) is so awesome that we reeeaaally want to do it, (3) improves the public perception of KGB, and (4) helps some people realize that KGB is a place where they fit in!

We're going to try to make sure that this doesn't happen in the future.
* Emphasize rule 0
* Remind members to help keep public events orderly

=Committee Reports=

==Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes==
A pirate's favorite file transfer program: rsync

==The Kesdenpult==
Soon there will be a new place to launch

==KGB Down From the Inside==
CIA defections from Exec are going at an acceptable rate

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
List of Guitarmy ranks

==Fortune Telling Fish Committee==
Misappropriates Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7: r7 residents should learn to swim really really soon

==Cohort 2.0==
Pie

==Misappropriated More Pants Committee==
If you have left a pair of size 34 jean shorts in Roselawn 7, notify Ben Wolf or they will be discarded on 10/10.

==I Rolled a Four Committee==
Success

==Misappropriated Committee to Amend Committee Reports of Others==
Used to get this feeling of wanting to run around naked. Got some windex, and it keeps him from streaking.

==Pop Occultism Committee==
When one must, one can.
Look, good fortune is around you.

==Misappropriated Commitee to Vie For jokeserver's Crown==

==Ad-Hoc Worst Spoonerisms Ever Committee==
Alan was with some camp leadership people; leader tried to say "only one more day guys" and s/d/g/

=Old Business=

David has the thing. The sad, sorry fate of those in Roselawn 7 is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS==
Purpose: Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS
Will also be inviting tails of state
Will also be inviting previous revisions of state
Would the secret service agents wield wand of vengeance?
Note: CTFWS has been held in Scotland!
Favor: impersonate heads of state being hit with a wand of vengeance; Opposed: give a fox news report about barack obama playing ctfws; Abstain: impersonate Barack Obama playing basketball
$5 to Alan; anyone who enjoys CTFWS

==Teddy Roosevelt Was a Liar==
Purpose: to avoid speoaking softly and carrying big sticks
THE LOUD COMMITTEE APPROVES
Ad-Hoc Committee to Perform Stealth Operations with a Telephone Pole approves
Favor: be very soft but brandish your stick; Opposed: be very loud and have a small stick; Abstain: give the evil eye to zach sparks
$4 to aballard; disbanded (because TR was such a badass, he'd rise from the grave and kill us all)

==The Chair Does Not Recognize Yo' Ass Commmittee==
Purpose: to get Glisson to say "the chair does not RECOGNIZE yo' ass" more often
The CIA has special chairs that do a butt scan.
- aren't those called copiers?
Favor: follow robert's rules to the letter by voting in a calm manner; Opposed: attempt to create a committee
$5 to Alan; Glisson

==Ska Pirates Committee==
Feels very strongly about heavy metal ninjas
Favor: pirate a ska player; Opposed: politely buy a classical music player; Abstain: pirate Ben Wolf
$6 to Matt; anybody who enjoys ska and/or pirates

==Allocate $50 for event==
Good Idea.

==Vespene Neutrality Committee==
Purpose: to reduce KGB's reliance on foreign sources of vespene gas
Vespene? Where we're going, ...
Purpose (appended): to promote the use of clean vespene
Construct additional tangerines
Do you know how many jobs there are in the vespene industry?
Favor: require cleaner vespene gas; Opposed: require more vespene gas; Abstain: build more grunts
$3 to Quuxum; anybody who's waving their hand right now

=Announcements=

==Event==
Improv Night! PH A18B.

==Dues==
Pay your dues! The sheet is up to date.

==Puzzle Hunt==
Happening on Nov 7th, the week before Microsoft puzzle challenge. Looking for staff, and staph, and strep. And playtesters. Email djurado@andrew.

==Pravda?==
SUBMIT TO IT.

=Schmucks=

==Shawn==
Got new glasses; laptop screens are parallelograms.

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20091005

2009-10-06T07:03:07Z

Jboning: Minutes!

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a weekend. Best friend from high school came. Knows about the KGB; never actually saw the KGB. Lost voice. Has cardboard tube.

==Alan==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Not enough sleep.

===New People===
Clyde, CS, NY (long island), sometimes stares at the sun for too long
Jason, high school, looking to be CS, has five fingers on right hand including thumb.
Liz, ECE, born in Moscow, likes sushi

==Richard (zsparks)==
Had a weekend. Involved being Richard; certainly not being zsparks and making pie.

==Emily==
Had a weekend. Saw friends from last year. Will be flagging for CIA. #cslounge

==Josiah==
Oh man! Had a weekend. Missed event due to InterVarsity overnighter. While at the church, found a hatch in the floor. There should be a Committee to Tunnel Everywhere.

==Laura==
Had a weekend. Involved a lot of compilers. Needs to do more compilers.

==Derek==
Had a week. Yahoo happened. Got up early on Saturday to climb around on a defector's house redoing electrical wiring.

=Announcements=

==Underground Tour==
Some shit got broken on the Tour. It needs to get paid for, either by us or other responsible parties. They want some sort of service project, either by us or other responsible parties.

Have ideas for service projects! Have ideas so awesome that we can't believe we didn't think of them before. Best case scenario: we find something that (1) fulfills the requirement, (2) is so awesome that we reeeaaally want to do it, (3) improves the public perception of KGB, and (4) helps some people realize that KGB is a place where they fit in!

We're going to try to make sure that this doesn't happen in the future.
* Emphasize rule 0
* Remind members to help keep public events orderly

==Committee Reports==

==Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes==
A pirate's favorite file transfer program: rsync

==The Kesdenpult==
Soon there will be a new place to launch

==KGB Down From the Inside==
CIA defections from Exec are going at an acceptable rate

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
List of Guitarmy ranks

==Fortune Telling Fish Committee==
Misappropriates Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7: r7 residents should learn to swim really really soon

==Cohort 2.0==
Pie

==Misappropriated More Pants Committee==
If you have left a pair of size 34 jean shorts in Roselawn 7, notify Ben Wolf or they will be discarded on 10/10.

==I Rolled a Four Committee==
Success

==Misappropriated Committee to Amend Committee Reports of Others==
Used to get this feeling of wanting to run around naked. Got some windex, and it keeps him from streaking.

==Pop Occultism Committee==
When one must, one can.
Look, good fortune is around you.

==Misappropriated Commitee to Vie For jokeserver's Crown==

==Ad-Hoc Worst Spoonerisms Ever Committee==
Alan was with some camp leadership people; leader tried to say "only one more day guys" and s/d/g/

=Old Business=

David has the thing. The sad, sorry fate of those in Roselawn 7 is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS==
Purpose: Committee to Invite Heads of State to CTFWS
Will also be inviting tails of state
Will also be inviting previous revisions of state
Would the secret service agents wield wand of vengeance?
Note: CTFWS has been held in Scotland!
Favor: impersonate heads of state being hit with a wand of vengeance; Opposed: give a fox news report about barack obama playing ctfws; Abstain: impersonate Barack Obama playing basketball
$5 to Alan; anyone who enjoys CTFWS

==Teddy Roosevelt Was a Liar==
Purpose: to avoid speoaking softly and carrying big sticks
THE LOUD COMMITTEE APPROVES
Ad-Hoc Committee to Perform Stealth Operations with a Telephone Pole approves
Favor: be very soft but brandish your stick; Opposed: be very loud and have a small stick; Abstain: give the evil eye to zach sparks
$4 to aballard; disbanded (because TR was such a badass, he'd rise from the grave and kill us all)

==The Chair Does Not Recognize Yo' Ass Commmittee==
Purpose: to get Glisson to say "the chair does not RECOGNIZE yo' ass" more often
The CIA has special chairs that do a butt scan.
- aren't those called copiers?
Favor: follow robert's rules to the letter by voting in a calm manner; Opposed: attempt to create a committee
$5 to Alan; Glisson

==Ska Pirates Committee==
Feels very strongly about heavy metal ninjas
Favor: pirate a ska player; Opposed: politely buy a classical music player; Abstain: pirate Ben Wolf
$6 to Matt; anybody who enjoys ska and/or pirates

==Allocate $50 for event==
Good Idea.

==Vespene Neutrality Committee==
Purpose: to reduce KGB's reliance on foreign sources of vespene gas
Vespene? Where we're going, ...
Purpose (appended): to promote the use of clean vespene
Construct additional tangerines
Do you know how many jobs there are in the vespene industry?
Favor: require cleaner vespene gas; Opposed: require more vespene gas; Abstain: build more grunts
$3 to Quuxum; anybody who's waving their hand right now

=Announcements=

==Event==
Improv Night! PH A18B.

==Dues==
Pay your dues! The sheet is up to date.

==Puzzle Hunt==
Happening on Nov 7th, the week before Microsoft puzzle challenge. Looking for staff, and staph, and strep. And playtesters. Email djurado@andrew.

==Pravda?==
SUBMIT TO IT.

=Schmucks=

==Shawn==
Got new glasses; laptop screens are parallelograms.

[[Category:Minutes]]

MinutesExec20091002

2009-10-06T06:35:13Z

Jboning: Minutes!

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Has an art project; needs to do something every single day. Will play with legos every single day

==Alan==
Is going to have a crazy week. Advisor has a meeting where he tells NASA why it's good that they gave him money. Needs results. Stuff due Tuesday.

==Richard==
It's good to see that lego hasn't entirely sold out to marketing pandering; they still have Space Police!

==Emily==
Had a week. Forgot to go to a class when homework was due. it's okay. found someone's notebook.

==Josiah==
Arg blarg stressful week. Parents unhappy over hair; tired. Failed at waking up, missed interview and exam; interview somehow happened anyway. p2 is due; needs last bits of documentation. Has eaten two meals in last ~48 hours.

==Laura==
Recommends food. Josiah, eat food. Did some other stuff.

==Derek==
A week. A Yahoo-filled week. An exam week. A not very sleep-filled week. Yahoo 24-hour hack session!

Don't forget that we have to re-register!

=Business=

==Tents==
* 12-person 3-room tent for $not very much.
* What size tent?
** 6 people.
* Labbot will check ebay.
** It's okay if we accidentally purchase a 12-person tent with a balcony :P

==Finance==
* Glisson & Labbott went to meeting; talked to some guy.
* If we sign up for an Oracle account, we will get a regular account and a donation account
* Lotsa paperwork
* Our bank account does not have CMU's name on it or any tax exemption status.
* We are in a grey area!
* Keep ~$400 in Oracle account(s); keep rest in bank account
* Using donation account is exactly like using regular account
* Does this require a formal vote?
** Probably not.
* We've had at least $400 for a while.
* Ways to use account
** Reimbursement (lots of paperwork; takes 1 month+)
** Purchase orders
** CMU vendors (Oracle string as good as cash; return reciepts to the people)

==Stick Incident==
* Stuff happened
* Subset of exec met with student affairs on Monday
** Retribution & community service needs to happen (us or someone else)
** We pay; the dude(s) do(es) community service?
* Progress by Wednesday
* If we have to: KGB service project?
** Attendance?
** Amount of bitter?
** Ideas:
*** Study break type thing?
*** Host an event? (Late-night type thing)
** If there is something that fulfills the requirement, is something people would be interested in, raises the campus' opinion of us, and increases our visibility, awesome!
*** Maybe we could
** Used to be an event called Scaring Small Children; we went to a haunted house and helped scare children
* Josiah will talk to Michael

==Food in the UC==
* Food service test
* Safety, stuff

==Email from ETC==
* People planning a social game (like assassins)
* Need playtesters
* KGB mentioned
* Dinner with people!

==Upcoming Events==
* Improv night
** Someone talk to NPP about games
** Can do ourselves if necessary
* Movie night
* CTFWS
* Hallowe'en

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20090928

2009-10-06T06:30:31Z

Jboning: Minutes!

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a weekend. Ran a Call of Cthulu game. Had an interview.

==Alan==
Had a weekend. Got a jacket. There was ITR.

===New People===
Jule, creative writing, Massachusetts, 10 toes
Albert, physics + music composition, Donner and/or Boulder, CO, flipflops are broken

==Richard (Bunny)==
Had a weekend. Played video games. Played ITR. EVENT! Running, Jumping, Climbing Trees. Watch the bboard for rain plans.

==Emily==
Had a weekend. ITR. Orchestra. Went to an opera. Picked up a few Russian words. Did not pick up any Russian guys.

==Josiah==
Oh man, has a report. Trying to bring back that thing where everyone begins their reports with "oh man." Had a weekend. Slept a lot. Skipped due to headache. Couldn't fall asleep; read old bboard posts. Yes, we know you paid your dues and it's not shown on the roster yet. No, we don't care.

==Laura==
Dues are due. Had a weekend. Compiler compiles but doesn't compile.

==Derek==
Has a bike! It was sitting in the rain for three years. Fixed it up, and it works :D It cost $7. Bought a helmet and a lock. This cost $60. Was in lab from 6:30-9:30. (6:30PM-9:30AM).

=Committees=

==Doing it Wrong Committee & Ad-Hoc Committee to Beautify Campus==
Digging on Walking to the Sky hit another pipe

==Wierd Dreams Committee & Time Travel Committee==
In the future, cars will have bad owner's manuals

==Wierd Dreams Committee==
On the back of a speeding train having an epic battle with Gerudos

==CMU Can't Keep It Up Committee==
Also shot too soon

==Shawn & Quuxum Variety Hour==
Reasons why English is easier than Russian: "hello" is REALLY LONG

==Misappropriated Committee to Pillage & Burn Pitt During Spring Break==
Isn't sure if it's needed any more

==Committee to Play a D&D Campaign Set in Pittsburgh This Weekend==
Success

Shouted "d20 at the G20; 4th edition sucks"

Discovered one of Glisson's old high school friends on the GiantITP forums

==Misappropriated Random Art on Campus Committee==
Go to Gates 5 by the carrels. Weird parabola things.

==Pop Occultism Committee==
The best way to have the last word is to apologize. Or to motion to GTFO.

==Ad-Hoc About Last Event Committee==
A lot of people have good singing voices; should do that more.

==Storytelling Committee==
Zarf's clock.

==Ad-Hoc Storytelling Corollary Commmittee==
"rotate clockwise"

"...is that up or down?"

==Ad-Hoc Committee to Hear Uninteresting Things==
A new person arrived

==Ad-Hoc Whoa Holy Crap Committee==
Shawn & best friend were physics & music composition

[This was in reference to the new person who had just introduced himself. See above. --jboning]

==Gunpowder Plot Committee==
Couldn't use explosives for dynamics project

==Ad-Hoc Whoa Holy Crap Committee==
Whoa holy crap

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
We should rent people out to accompany people musically

=Old Business=

Alan has the thing. Slowness of planning for KGB Sing-Along Blog is not his fault.

=New Business=

==KGB Sing-Along Blog Committee==
Purpose: to create a KGB Sing-Along Blog

huhuhahahahahahaha

Purpose: to create a musical for kgb

Favor: sing a kgb dr horrible song in unison; no, just make noise; Opposed: sing from some other thing; Abstain: squid musicalyl

$12 to bswolf; anyone who contributes to KGB Sing-Along Blog.

==Storytelling Corollary Committee==
Purpose: to make corollaries to told stories

Purpose: to tell corollary stories; to store corollary tellies; to corral storytellers

Ad-Hoc Story Theorem & Lemma Committee approve

Time Travel Committee reports success

Boing Boing Blub Blub Boom Committe approves

and then I found 5 dollars

Purpose: to tell corollary stories; to store corollary tellies; to give storytellers coral

Favor: tell a corollary story; Opposed: laugh at Drew; Abstain: tell the most uninteresting story you can think of

$6 to Dannel; anyone who wishes to [purpose][1], to give storytellers coronaries

==Bold Committee==
Purpose: to be exuberant but cause people to ignore us anyway

Name: Strong Committee

Name: Tom Strong Committee

Name: Strombold Committee

Purpose: to type in bold with boxing gloves on

Name: Tom Strong Nuclear Force Committee

Favor: impersonate Tom Strong writing a letter in bold with boxing gloves on while a nuclear meltdown happens behind him; Opposed: plain bold is much better than what this committee has become; Abstain: jellyfish

$3 to Alan; disbanded

==Committee to Catapult Kesden==
Purpose: So Kesden can fly

Painful for students who fall asleep in class

Foffman Committee: kresdang

Favor: mime Kesden as he is airborne and falling fast; Against: act like Foffman with his feet firmly planted on the ground; Abstain: act like a drama teacher buried halfway underground

$6 to Dannel; Tim Hoffman and himself

==Allocate $50 for Event==
Good Idea.

==Internym Committee==
Purpose: to figure out what the z stands for

rntz r arntzenius

KGB warms Alan's heart

Glisson needs to take medication

Favor: tell Glisson what the z in zsparks stands for; Opposed; tell Glisson what the p in zsparks stands for; abstain: tell Glisson what the q in zsparks stands for

$10 to Alan; anyone who regularly uses internyms when sending emails to ground lists

=Announcements=

==Dues==
Pay them!

==Event==
Climbing, Jumping, Running Trees. 7PM, Flagstaff Hill.

==CTFWS==
Wanna be a judge? Email exec@cmukgb.org

==T-Shirts==
Have a cool design? Email exec@cmukgb.org

==Puzzle Hunt==
Wanna help out and not a freshman? Email djurado@andrew

==Schmucks==

==Donut Dash and stuff==
Wanna participate? Email mbk@andrew

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20090824

2009-10-06T06:01:04Z

Jboning: Fail.

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
We are the KGB. Stuff. Had a summer.

Motion to salute the President!

==Alan==
Had a summer. Low awesomeness, except for camp. NEW PEOPLE!!!!

===New People===
Brian, Logic & Computation, prefers when handouts are freshly printed

Chris, NJ, shoe size 10

Jonathan, CS, something College, didn't bring ice cream

Andrew, CS, Austin, TX, paying attention to fan

Paul, CS, Baltimore, like walking

CS, Naomi, New York, that was in the wrong order

David, ECE, Montana,

Thomas, CS, northern NJ, once had a stamp collection but it was boring

Maija, CS, Harvard, MA, hand not mauled by bears,

Katy, CS, ...

Arsenij ...

David, Silver Spring, has friends

Rebecca, CS, lying about having never been to a meeting before

[interrupted for ttuttle being given a jello dick]

Joe, NJ, CS, first time seen a guy eat a dick

Costas, MA, ECE, he doesn't know

Arjuna, Harvard MA, ECE, likes Ender's Game

Matt, NJ, ECE, play the trombone. too interesting; don't know how to play the tuba

Tim, CS, was (not?) half of a good time for KGB exec to meet

Alex, CS, here, will try to double major in ECE

Ethan, MD, last place team in scav hunt

==Richard==
Event.

==Emily==
No job. Went to CA for Latin convention. There's a Pravda?.

==Josiah==
Had a summer. Had a job due to miraculous good fortune.

==Labbott==
Had a summer. Worked at IBM. Built a cardboard mainframe.

==Derek==
Had a summer. Worked overtime. They had to pay him. Will be dying hair in the near future. Keep coming to KGB.

=Committees=

==Pop Occultism Committee==
Needs fortunes.

==Shawn & Quuxxum Variety Committee==

==Pop Occultism Committee==
Make your life an exclamation, not an explanation. s/interjections/shit/
Listen not to vain words of empty tongue.
A distant relative will phone you soon. Shawn's dad is a dick.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Beauty is in the mirror you look in every day. enjoy your being.

==The Technically Ad-Hoc Giant Red Rubber Ball Committee==
Will be making an appearance on Friday.

==Gratuitous Obscenity Committee==
The Technically Ad-Hoc Giant Red Rubber Ball Committee would go well with jello penis cake.

==Gunpowder Block Committee==
An excellent way to get rid of gunpowder and ammo is to fire.

==Drew Besse Sorta Sounds Like JFK Committee==
Sad, does not give reports. Survived his term.

==Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes==
Puns bswolf had not heard before from Scavenger Hunt. Not recording for posterity's sake.
That part about not recording any was a lie: Have you heard about the Corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.

==The Twitter Committee==
Would lke to thank labbott for contributions over summer. Snow White is really just a story about a date rape apple.

==The Connor Sites-Bowen Memorial Robot Committee==
Should you build a Connor Sites-Bowen Memorial Robot, its head must be at least as cute as that doorway.

==Time Travel Committee==
[It reported something]

==Fortune Telling Fish Committee==
Has seen your futures, would like to say: why did you not listen to me?!!

==Committe to Get Quuxum to Buy More Committees to Get Us More Money==
#define have a job is still in effect

==Twitter Committee==
"fucking a dude" vs "fucking a, dude"

==ESG Committee==
Meeting tonight in WeH 5328 at 6:30

==Ad-Hoc Committe to Map Out the Western Tunnel==
Running out of steam

==Committee to Flood Campus==
Currently making progress

==Some Committee About Exploring Pittsburgh==
Some street has brick-shaped cobblestones made of wood c.c

==Time Travel Committee==
salute the president last year

==Assasination Committee==

==Storytelling Committee==
Dueling Firework Families

=Old Business=
dmullown has the thing. mega colon is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Let jvirdo Dye Your Hair Committee==
Purpose: Because it's fun!

Shaping up to be a very colorful committee

She only dyes with consent.

Favor: Complement hair; Opposed: Booo (?); Abstain: Be ambivalent

$8 to jvirdo; her and anyone whose hair she has died

==Allocation not to exceed $50 for the event==
Good idea

==Lemur For My Valentine Committee==
Purpose: To raise money for the KGB by selling lemurs in February

Purpose: Buy more tangerines. But lemurs are cuter.

Ron Paul endorses this committee.

Favor: Raise a lemur from birth; opposed: kill a lemur; abstain: talk about your pet possum

$6 to Quuxum; nwf & mrwright historically; drew & zsparks & matt & tim & caroline

==Motion to Create the Giant Red Rubber Ball Committee==
Purpose: To play Dirty Nine

Favor: Play game with your neighbors; Opposed: How terrible it is to hit your president in the face; Abstain: Make fun of Drew Besse for missing. Ha, ha, Drew throws like a girl
$7 to Alan; him and anyone who has gotten to the center at Dirty Nine

==Funes the Memorious Memorial Taxonomy Committee==
To find a classification & pigeonhole absolutely every object, thing, event in the universe

Robot cat-herding committee is willing to extend its influence to words as well

Favor: Start classifying everything in the room; Opposed: Make one general category for everything in this room; Abstain: Classify your neighbor as a species of fish.
$2 to Alan; him, him, him, ...

Nine of him need to pay the treasurer $2 each.

=Announcements=

==Puzzle Hunt==
Email Dannel (djurado) if you want to help

==Event==
Flagstaff. 6:45 at the black chairs if you don't know the way.

==Dues==
Pay $15

==Q&A==
Email Emily (eforney) with questions about the KGB

==Underground Tour==
September 4th. Planning for it on Saturday at 1pm; check the b-board for location. Come if you are interested in helping.

=Schmucks=

==Shawn==
Graduated.

[applause]

To freshmen: CMU is hard. CMU is also commonly considered to be less fun than other hard places. You have friends. As long as you are not a total dick, people will be willing to help. Talk to your friends. Talk to your roommate. Talk to one of us. Talk to your professer. You'd be surprised how much easier it is if you talk to people -- even if it's just to vent for two hours. You are not alone.

==Rocket Command==
A301D Doherty at [times]

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20090511

2009-10-06T06:00:33Z

Jboning: Fail.

=Officer Reports=

==Alan==
BANG!!!!

==Richard==
Exam at 5:30. No EVENT!

==Emily==
Weekend. Blah. Exam today.

==Josiah==
Weekend. Exam tomorrow. Interp paper turned in.

==Labbott==
Blah blah blah bunnies blah.

=Committee Reports=

==Missapropriated Whatsthethingie Committee==
Can't remember the name of some game.

==Committee to Hug Stressed Out Students==
It's finals week again.

==Combined Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes and Storytelling Committee==
Amnesia story.

==Storytelling Committee==
Goob: Bears in the Basement.

==Bunnies/Duckies Committee==
Was about to report failure, now success.

==ITR Committee==
Carolyn transfers ownership of ITR Committe to bswolf and Mander.

==Revisionist History==
Old minutes! Uninteresting thing about Carolyn: from New Jersey. How Shawn is (not?) creepy. Quuxum bought the Committee of All Committees that Do Not Contain Themselves.

=Old Business=

==The Pfennig==
Richard has the thing. Broken phones are not his fault. (Graduation is!)

==New Business==

==Worthy of Mordor Committee==
Purpose: To determine whether things are worthy of Mordor.

Favor: Just walk into Mordor. Opposed: Save Caroline! Abstain: Make Drew let Caroline back in

Passes -- $5 to labbott -- her and everyone who thinks you need a screwdriver worthy of mordor

==Whatsthethingie Committee==
Purpose: To figure out what that blasted word is.

Favor: Uhh uhh the thing. Opposed: Come up with a new name for something. (Mander is now called Princess Sparkles.) Abstain: Call Mander Princess Sparkles.

Passes -- $2 to eforney -- linguistics majors

==Princess Sparkles' Very Own Committee==
Purpose: To give Princess Sparkles his/her very own committee.

Favor: Stand on your head. Opposed: Stay where you are. Abstain: ???

Passes -- $10 to dbesse -- Princess Sparkles

==Committee to Fail for Lack of a Second==
Purpose: To report failure.

Purpose: Fail.

Purpose: Duck Season!

Purpose: Rabbit Season! (Favor: pretend to be a rabbit. Opposed: pretend to be a duck. Abstain: pretend to be a chair.)

Purpose: Duck Season! Fire!

Whatsthethingie Committee approves.

Favor: Season. Opposed: Homophone. Abstain: Look that way.

Passes -- $3 to mspindle -- Goob.

==Expected ?.t, Got ?.t Committee==
Purpose: Labbott points at a chair; is a chair*.

Favor: Typecheck. Opposed: Write more code. Abstain: Become a hum(anities) major.

Passes -- $3 to zsparks. Him and everyone else who has ever dealt with an SML error message.

==Silly Walks Committe==
Purpose: (walking over chairs)

Favor: Do a silly walk that does not involve the backs of the chairs oh god. Opposed: Name something that would not be a silly way to walk. Opposed: Squid that does not know where it's going.

Passes -- $3 to aballard -- himself.

==Orthogonal Committee==
Purpose: To be opposed to this committee.

Purpendiculous!

Favor: Make a pun. Opposed: Make a pun that none of us have ever heard before. Abstain: Raise your hand.

Passes -- $1 to bswolf -- sideways people.

==Committee to Illustrate Meetings==
Purpose: This is fun!

Purpose: To conduct meetings in Comic Chat. (Appended.)

Purpose (appended): To invent the wheel.

Favor: Illustrate something in the air in front of you. Opposed: Erase what your neighbor drew. Abstain: Do not change the state of the stuff drawn on the air in front of you.

Passes -- $3 to eforney -- Whoever wants to draw during the meetings.

=Announcements=

==Summer Meetings==
Meetings are at 4:30 in Breed Hall. Please show up an hour late on the steps of Doherty.

==EVENT==
There is none.

=Schmucks=
* mspindle's number theory defense on Thursday at 2:00 PM. (Come if you have an interest in mathematics. If you don't, come anyway! Just don't be disruptive.)
* Bridge is looking for mentors for next year's adorable freshthings! Contact eforney.
* Goob: get little water heater leaks taken care of, because they very quickly become big leaks.

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20090831

2009-10-06T06:00:17Z

Jboning: Fail.

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Mech E. Might give meeting to Alan or someone.

==Alan==
Weekend. Stuff. Planning for Underground Tour. Played Natural Selection. Considering going to Waterfront.

===Peeeeeooooooopplllllllllleeee!===
Allison CS 30 min north, blonde hair

Sarah 30 min N, chem e, four siblings

Robert CS outside DC (va side), tj didn't let him in

Margaret, CS, Rochester, has a brother

Adam, Chem E, Connecticut, was wearing a hoodibut it got hot

Brent, CS, Singapore

Evan, ECE, NJ, xkcd

Heather, robotics (grad), Harvey Mudd, MD, purple

Andrew, phd security, mn, should vacuum

Kelly CS, S jersey, has skin

Kellie CS E Tennesse, 5 fingers on left hand

Ashley, CA (LA), cfa (art), did laundry yesterday

Glenn, cal tech, robotics phd, wearing sandals

==Richard (rocketmatt)==
Event. Underground Tour. That one squirrel. New lies. Fri 7PM @ UC Black Chairs

==Emily==
Weekend. KGB. Nine square thing. Underground Tour. PRAVDA!

==Josiah==
Weekend. Underground Tour. Event

==Laura==
Picnic. Underground Tour. FF7. Pay your dues!

==Derek==
Small, not least. Got sick and better and sick and better. Now mostly better. Had a DVD drive. Kicked it; it almost worked. Then it blew up. No desk.

=Committee Reports=

==Drew Besse Sorta Sounds Like JFK Committee==
Had a weekend. Got to see his brother [heh, heh].

==Powerthirst Committee==
[something about freshman]

==Injudicious Exclamation Committee==
Yo dawg, I heard you like fractals

==Charlie is Poor Committe==
Can have old broken DVD drive?

==Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7, Injudicious Exclamation Committe, Committe to Not Break jboning, Grautitous Obscenity Commitee==
Party, 9:00 PM Saturday. Email sully/j4cbo to get on the dlist.

==ITR Committee==
Was going to be ITR this weekend, but not any more more (due to r7 party)

==Frut Slad==
thre bannas in eforney's suite

==Shaw & Quxxum==
Shawn had the plague. Throat sucks but...

==Storytelling==
Confuse-a-Bagger/Confuse-a-Becca

==Twitter==
Industrial Design at CMU: it sounds like a dildo, it looks like a dildo, and it's used for planting seeds

=Old Business=

Pfennig of Fault. Rocketmatt has the thing. Possbily burning down Roselawn 7 is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Cohort 2.0 Committee==
Purpose: There was a thing called the Cohort. There were a lot of them. Now there are a lot of them.

Will have a tag cloud! rss feed! sans serif! (err, papyrus)

Name: Cohort 2 Electric Boogaloo. fail.

People who bought the orignal cohort -- simple upgrade price!

Favor: Say hi to 8; Opposed: Shun 8; Abstain: Hellllllllllo nurse

$27 to zsparks; Cohort 1.0 and Cohort 2.0

==Allocate $150 for event==
Good idea

==Butt Security Committee==
Purpose: To secure butts.

Pigeonholing Committee approves

dkap does not approve

bblum c.c

goatse.com features a gaping security hole

Favor: Protect some part of your body; Opposed: Don't need protection; Abstain: Be indifferent to Alan's plight

$11 to labbott: disbanded

==Jokeserver 2.0 Committee==
Purpose: A joke server -- automated!

Millions will die!

How will synergy be leveraged?

Tags on duct tape; tape over mouth

Favor: terrible pun; Opposed: Turn to ben wolf and point angrily; Abstain: Tell a knock-knock joke

Interrupting dancing pterodactyl

$??? to ????: ????

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment==
Purpose: To inappropriately accompany people

[here the meeting is an interrupted by a DANCE PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Vavor: listen to a concert; Opposed: ???; Abstain ???

$27 to Matt: Tim and Matt

=Announcements=

==Event==
Underground Tour! Help!!!!

==Dues==
Pay Your Dues!!!

==Activities Fair==

=Schmucks=

==Rocket Club==
Tues 4:30 - 6:00 Asomethingsomethingsomething DH

==Musical==
In Kresge -- Alan Caum is in it -- Sat at 8

==Dannel==
Might teach a stuco

==Puzzle Hunt==
Meeting Wednesday

==Roselawn 7 Party==
Saturday at 9pm

==Cluster Rave==
Sunday, WeH 5203

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20090824

2009-10-06T05:59:39Z

Jboning: Fail.

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
We are the KGB. Stuff. Had a summer.

Motion to salute the President!

==Alan==
Had a summer. Low awesomeness, except for camp. NEW PEOPLE!!!!

===New People===
Brian, Logic & Computation, prefers when handouts are freshly printed

Chris, NJ, shoe size 10

Jonathan, CS, something College, didn't bring ice cream

Andrew, CS, Austin, TX, paying attention to fan

Paul, CS, Baltimore, like walking

CS, Naomi, New York, that was in the wrong order

David, ECE, Montana,

Thomas, CS, northern NJ, once had a stamp collection but it was boring

Maija, CS, Harvard, MA, hand not mauled by bears,

Katy, CS, ...

Arsenij ...

David, Silver Spring, has friends

Rebecca, CS, lying about having never been to a meeting before

[interrupted for ttuttle being given a jello dick]

Joe, NJ, CS, first time seen a guy eat a dick

Costas, MA, ECE, he doesn't know

Arjuna, Harvard MA, ECE, likes Ender's Game

Matt, NJ, ECE, play the trombone. too interesting; don't know how to play the tuba

Tim, CS, was (not?) half of a good time for KGB exec to meet

Alex, CS, here, will try to double major in ECE

Ethan, MD, last place team in scav hunt

==Richard==
Event.

==Emily==
No job. Went to CA for Latin convention. There's a Pravda?.

==Josiah==
Had a summer. Had a job due to miraculous good fortune.

==Labbott==
Had a summer. Worked at IBM. Built a cardboard mainframe.

==Derek==
Had a summer. Worked overtime. They had to pay him. Will be dying hair in the near future. Keep coming to KGB.

=Committees=

==Pop Occultism Committee==
Needs fortunes.

==Shawn & Quuxxum Variety Committee==

==Pop Occultism Committee==
Make your life an exclamation, not an explanation. s/interjections/shit/
Listen not to vain words of empty tongue.
A distant relative will phone you soon. Sean's dad is a dick.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Beauty is in the mirror you look in every day. enjoy your being.

==The Technically Ad-Hoc Giant Red Rubber Ball Committee==
Will be making an appearance on Friday.

==Gratuitous Obscenity Committee==
The Technically Ad-Hoc Giant Red Rubber Ball Committee would go well with jello penis cake.

==Gunpowder Block Committee==
An excellent way to get rid of gunpowder and ammo is to fire.

==Drew Besse Sorta Sounds Like JFK Committee==
Sad, does not give reports. Survived his term.

==Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes==
Puns bswolf had not heard before from Scavenger Hunt. Not recording for posterity's sake.
That part about not recording any was a lie: Have you heard about the Corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.

==The Twitter Committee==
Would lke to thank labbott for contributions over summer. Snow White is really just a story about a date rape apple.

==The Connor Sites-Bowen Memorial Robot Committee==
Should you build a Connor Sites-Bowen Memorial Robot, its head must be at least as cute as that doorway.

==Time Travel Committee==
[It reported something]

==Fortune Telling Fish Committee==
Has seen your futures, would like to say: why did you not listen to me?!!

==Committe to Get Quuxum to Buy More Committees to Get Us More Money==
#define have a job is still in effect

==Twitter Committee==
"fucking a dude" vs "fucking a, dude"

==ESG Committee==
Meeting tonight in WeH 5328 at 6:30

==Ad-Hoc Committe to Map Out the Western Tunnel==
Running out of steam

==Committee to Flood Campus==
Currently making progress

==Some Committee About Exploring Pittsburgh==
Some street has brick-shaped cobblestones made of wood c.c

==Time Travel Committee==
salute the president last year

==Assasination Committee==

==Storytelling Committee==
Dueling Firework Families

=Old Business=
dmullown has the thing. mega colon is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Let jvirdo Dye Your Hair Committee==
Purpose: Because it's fun!

Shaping up to be a very colorful committee

She only dyes with consent.

Favor: Complement hair; Opposed: Booo (?); Abstain: Be ambivalent

$8 to jvirdo; her and anyone whose hair she has died

==Allocation not to exceed $50 for the event==
Good idea

==Lemur For My Valentine Committee==
Purpose: To raise money for the KGB by selling lemurs in February

Purpose: Buy more tangerines. But lemurs are cuter.

Ron Paul endorses this committee.

Favor: Raise a lemur from birth; opposed: kill a lemur; abstain: talk about your pet possum

$6 to Quuxum; nwf & mrwright historically; drew & zsparks & matt & tim & caroline

==Motion to Create the Giant Red Rubber Ball Committee==
Purpose: To play Dirty Nine

Favor: Play game with your neighbors; Opposed: How terrible it is to hit your president in the face; Abstain: Make fun of Drew Besse for missing. Ha, ha, Drew throws like a girl
$7 to Alan; him and anyone who has gotten to the center at Dirty Nine

==Funes the Memorious Memorial Taxonomy Committee==
To find a classification & pigeonhole absolutely every object, thing, event in the universe

Robot cat-herding committee is willing to extend its influence to words as well

Favor: Start classifying everything in the room; Opposed: Make one general category for everything in this room; Abstain: Classify your neighbor as a species of fish.
$2 to Alan; him, him, him, ...

Nine of him need to pay the treasurer $2 each.

=Announcements=

==Puzzle Hunt==
Email Dannel (djurado) if you want to help

==Event==
Flagstaff. 6:45 at the black chairs if you don't know the way.

==Dues==
Pay $15

==Q&A==
Email Emily (eforney) with questions about the KGB

==Underground Tour==
September 4th. Planning for it on Saturday at 1pm; check the b-board for location. Come if you are interested in helping.

=Schmucks=

==Sean==
Graduated.

[applause]

To freshmen: CMU is hard. CMU is also commonly considered to be less fun than other hard places. You have friends. As long as you are not a total dick, people will be willing to help. Talk to your friends. Talk to your roommate. Talk to one of us. Talk to your professer. You'd be surprised how much easier it is if you talk to people -- even if it's just to vent for two hours. You are not alone.

==Rocket Command==
A301D Doherty at [times]

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20090921

2009-10-06T05:45:00Z

Jboning: arg blarg forgot to tag with Category:Minutes

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Built a pirate ship! Art projects.

==Mander==
Went to CA! Got tangerines.

===New People===
Bill, CS, Greensburg PA, owns no fish

John Howlin, MechE, NH, grey shirt

Michael, MechE, NJ, like raspberries

Alex, physics, Silverton, likes hats/cats

Dennis, CS, Knoxville, TN, blood drive shirt

==E4KNEE==
Minutes? What? Pirate ship!

==Labbott==
Caught H1N1 plague, lounged, Star Wars, ear infection, pennies

==Josiah==
Has a weekend. Lost his water bottle :(

==Richard (mkaemmer)==
Had a weekend. Was tall.

==Derek==
Had a week. Has orange hair! Had a weekend. Showed him how bad this week is going to be. As of today, has been dating Caitlin for a year! awwwwwwwwwwww :)

=Committee Reports=

==Cohort 2.0 Committee Subcommittee for Intercohort Relations==
irc.freenode.net#cohort

==Weird Dreams Committee==
Congradulations on successfully giving an underground tour to Barack Obama

==Let jvirdo Dye Your Hair Committee==
Success; predicts future success

==251 Torture Committee==
There's a Concepts test

==Bubbles Committee==
Bubbles that may or may not be anticlimactic

==Ad-Hoc Committee to Raid Cardboard from Behind Morewood and Storm the Shantytown at the Fence==
Success

==Ad-Hoc Committee for "We should hav a riot"==
Please don't have a riot

==Ad-Coc Committee for A.D. H.==
CMU does not have an Alchemy department; if it did, KGB would be last to know

[I have no clue what I abbreviated to A.D. H. --jboning]

==Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7==
Hopes G20 doesn't

==Iron Building==
Burn down this 7

==Ad-Hoc G20==
Whatever it is, I'm against it

==rntz rntz gwillen Committee==

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
Chord/word association game from last week is now a song c.c

==Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Committee==
koo-koo-ka-chonn

==Ad-Hoc EMS Is Scared For This Week==
Please be safe

==Ad-Hoc G20 Committe==
Displeasure at closing all the airports within a 60 mile radius

==That's What She Said==
That's what she said

==Fortune-Telling Fish Committee==
Predicts creation of the position of bard

==Glowy Flashy rntzy Things==
May or may not be doing things again this semester almost certainly

==Ad-Hoc AB Tech Committee==
jboning might want to talk to ttuttle

=Old Business=

Darren has the thing. One of us getting punched in the face is not his fault.

=New Business=

==CAPS COMMITTEE==
Purpose: to talk in all caps

The miXed CAse commMITttee approves

Ad-Hoc Bash Committee: people with cruise control still have to steer

The Ad-Hoc Committee To Capitalize The First Lettter Of Every Word Reports Partial Success

Favor: TALK IN ALL CAPS; Opposed: talk in all lowercase: Abstain: talk in all superscript

$4 to tuttle; everyone whose first name starts with a capital letter

==Silent Invisible Letter Committee==
Purpose: frosh at Mudd decidedd there must be a silent invisible R in her first name for a cool anagram ("heraldic sandbox")

rntz: Usually more letters left out than in

Purpose: to add silent invisible letters to your name for the purpose of anagramming

[?] <- IPA glottal stop

Favor: pronounce the silent letter you're adding; Opposed: name your favorite letter that you can hear; Abstain: pick the person sitting next to you's favorite number

$3 to Alan; anyone who has an awesome anagram for any set of their names. And him.

==Committee to Play a D&D Campaign Set in Pittsburgh This Weekend==
Purpose: d20 at the G20

Roll a diplomacy check!

Tabled indefinitely. (Yes, you do play at a table. Indefintely.)

==Allocation of $50 for the event==
Good Idea.

==Robert is Rolling Over in his Grave Committee==
Purpose: make note of how much we have raped Robert's Rules of Order

Purpose extended: such that he rolls over in his grave and then rises

Robert's Rules consented by being published?... c.c

Name: Robert is Rolling Over in His Grave and Then Draw a Zombie Tattoo Committee

Motion to create the Out of Order Committee

Favor: attempt to ressurect Robert; Opposed: break 5 of Robert's Rules in quick succession; Abstain: talk about how free-form conversation is better

$7 to tuttle; anybody who flagrantly violates Robert's Rules of O

==Quentin S Getter Committee [???]==
Purpose: to make up names on the spot

Fredick Uckyou approves

Favor: rearrange the letters in your name; Opposed: say the name of someone in this room completely normally; Abstain: say an improper noun

$3 to Sully; him, bblum, and Elly

==Committe to Trip Exec Officers==
Purpose: to observe obstacles that might be in the path of wandering exec officers

Favor: trip; Opposed: stand and then be seated; Abstain: raise your left hand

$4 to Dannel; him and everyone else who wants to trip exec; also j4cbo

==Loud Noises Scare Me So Stop Yelling Committee==
Purpose: loud noises scare me so stop yelling

Committee to Turn Exec Into Kittens: kittens are quiet
* but they don't like loud noises; have you ever set a bomb off next to one?

Tabled indefinitely.

==Committee to Agree About Things but Argue About Them Anyway==
Purpose: to agree about things but argue about them anyway

Ad-Hoc G20 Committee Approves

Favor: have a loud discussion about why the sky is blue; Opposed: say that the sky is some other color; Abstain: moose [squid motion]

$3 to labbott; everyone who likes to argue

==Committee to Trap Exec==
Purpose: debugging system calls

==CMU Motorcycle Club Committee==
Purpose: to encourage people at CMU to get motorcycles

THE LOUD COMMITTEE LIKES THINGS THAT GO VROOM VROOM

Drew would like to get on board, but would have to be a third wheel

Ad-Hoc Steve McQueen Committee Approves

Ad-Hoc Committee to Harvest All Your Organs would like to note that PA is not a helmet state and approves

Favor: ride a motorcycle while harvasting a donated organ; Opposed: peacably sit in the sidecar; Abstain: buy a moped

$1 to Charlie; him and Rocketmatt

=Announcements=

==Event==
KGB digs its own grave. Doherty 1212.

==Puzzle Hunt==
Looking for a couple more people

==Meeting Place==
We don't have MM on Nov something;

==T-Shirts==
Show up at Exec at 5:30 in UC 318G if you want them. Submit designs! To exec@cmukgb.org.

==Dues==
Dues are due on Nov 30. They are $15/year or $10/semester

==CTFWS==
It will be Oct 23. This is earlier than normal. Bring people! Email exec if you want to judge.

==Committee to Abuse Robert's Rules of Order==

=Schmucks=

==Dannel==
May be teaching The Middleman stuco.

==Emily==
Readme there are old ones.

==Glisson==
Made a video. It's being shown in a gallery in CFA.

[[Category:Minutes]]

MinutesExec20090925

2009-10-06T05:44:28Z

Jboning: Minutes!

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Has art stress. It (the art) is displayed in a public place. Played Psychonauts again.

==Alan==
ha foo mah mou Had a week. Crazy. Advisor has report due in a couple weeks. Went to first non-beginner dance lesson. Desktop running fresh install of XP. Spent about 20 minutes trying to figure out why something that was not plug in did not work.

==Richard==
Thoroughly addicted to an RPG. Late to the meeting for this reason. (Exit Fate.)

==Emily==
Had a week. Stuff was due on Tuesday. Had no class on Thursday. Ha ha G-20. Coughed for half an hour from tear gas.

Mander is excused to get water.

==Josiah==
Had a week

==Laura==
Finally beginning to get over the plaugue. Still managed to spill things everywhere. Needs to clean up stuff.

==Derek (Naomi)==
Hi. Had a week. Doesn't sleep.

=Business=

==Kage Keys==
* Glisson has called Housing & Dining many times, but only answering machine. Trying email; if this fails, will visit in person.

==Money==
* Glisson will get name on bank account soon with Labbott.
* Finance meeting on Thursday failed due to G20 things.

==CTFWS==
* We have rooms reserved!
* Need to notify EMS and CMUPD.
** Glisson will deal with EMS
** Richard will deal with CMUPD

==Tent==
* Derek and Josiah visited REI
** Picked up comparison thing; something like $150 for 4 people, $200 for 6 people
* Consider used tents?
** Glisson will check ebay

==Event==
* Room appears to be unlocked (though this is not necessarily meaningful).
* Have contacted police; Richard will call again.

==Next Event==
* Running, Climbing, Jumping Trees
* Forecast: Mostly sunny, with a high near 67
* Backup room indoors (A18*)
* Usual snacks/cookies

==Events After Next==
* Improv Night?
* Movie Night (mid-semester break)
* CTFWS
* Hallowe'en
* KGB Classic(?)

==Booth==
* Greta will remain contact point for official people until further notice.
* Should not worry about booth until at least dues have been due.
* Should not worry about booth until deposit is due.
* Votes: make a deposit ($60); booth chairs; big payment.

==Aluminum Chef==
* Video where?
* Get 2/3 kitchens; have video/audio links
* Skype!

==Kage==
* It needs to be renewed

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20090921

2009-10-06T05:42:43Z

Jboning: Minutes!

MinutesExec20090918

2009-10-06T05:02:51Z

Jboning: Minutes!

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Video project -- starring the KGB!
Game Design for Mavericks, what a class!

==Mander (bswolf)==
Stand up? If you've never been here? I'm out of town! G20 is next week!

==Rixhard==
Needs to take care of himself and not procrastinate; Friend is in A BUNCH OF CLASSES

==Emily==
Had a week. All stuff was due on Thursday. That and Wednesday night was not cool. Otherwise pretty boring. rntz has a watch.

==Josiah==
Has a report? Probably.

==Labbott==
Has the plague D: Voice sounds really bad and throat is sore. Don't spill soup all over yourself.

==Derek==
Hair. It dyed. Other people will dye soon. Demo night! 3 carloads' worth of stuff. NAIS. Tom Strong got him a free bike. There was an old bike living in the workshop for several years. Needs a new seat and chain. And WD-40. And love. Wait, those aren't the same? Love is duct tape: it holds things together. WD-40 is lust: it make things messy? c.c;;;;

=Business=

==CTFWS==
* Reserve 8427.
* Call for judges
* Reserve lecture hall in Doherty for rules lecture
* Need to take inventory (later)

==MM A14==
* Has been reserved

==Shirts==
* Derek has emailed company. No response yet.
* Currently considering:
** My actions
** Glisson's CTFWS things?
** Call for submissions? (email exec)
* People who want shirts should come to exec meetings rather than just complaining at general body meetings

==Kage==
* We still need to renew the Kage. Sometime later this year.
* Glisson needs to go to get Kage Keys

==Event==
* Linear Regression/To Be A Kid (Again)+/Running, Jumping, Climbing Trees
** nooooooo: G20 security on Flagstaff
* Improv night?
* KGB Digs Its Own Grave (Karaoke)

==Financial Meeting==
* Labbott and Glisson are going
* Feel free to come along
* Derek also going

==Tent==
* Is a fine idea!
* Derek is going to REI
** Scout it out
** Group of people

==Event (week after next)==
* Outside: Running, Climbing, Jumping Trees
** Weather permitting

==Booth==
* Will vote when the theme comes out
* Not important now
* Missing descriptions on the web site
** Email Derek!!!!
* Continue discussion

==Puzzle Hunt==
* KGB Puzzle Hunt vs KGB Presents Puzzle Hunt
* May fund itself this year to some extent?
** Will be asking for money for pizza
* Analagous to Booth some?
* What is KGB? :P
* Continue discussion

[[Category:Minutes]]

MinutesExec20090911

2009-10-06T04:58:57Z

Jboning: Minutes!

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a week. I [Emily] wasn't noting.

==Mander==
Chess/Checker Board

==Rixhard==
Actually came today

==Emily==
NPP, sofly talking, reading, <strike>306</strike> 318G

==Labbott==
blaaaaaaaayyy

==Derek==
Had a week. Hasn't slept much. At all. Will sleep at event. With Caitlin. Cute! Has a box.

=Business=

==CTFWS Date==
* October 23 / November 20
* OS?
** TAs don't know. Mander mailed de0u; will answer over weekend.
* October 23! It's official.

==Keys==
* Glisson found some old keys in his room
* Kage Keys??
** Housing and Dining

==Event==
* Art vs Science
* Mander will be gone next weekend
* Things in the office

==Bank Account==
* Glisson needs name on the account

==Meetings==
* Leadership meeting has been attended
** DON'T GET AN ORACLE ACCOUNT. DON'T. JUST DON'T.
** Actually, get an Oracle account. Use for booth fees.
* Financial meeting needs to be attended
** Derek has a listing of when and where
* Derek rules! :D

==Kage==
* Need to renew the Kage
* Derek needs to report on this EVERY WEEK.

==T-Shirts==
* Need a company
* The Apple company?? Labbott needs to ask Liz
** What kind of info do we need?
*** Derek has phone numbers etc. Will contact.
* Shirts
** My Actions!
** Carnegie Hellon
** Mother Wean?

==Web Site==
* Derek has made updates
** They are INVISIBLE!
** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
* Things that we want to improve/update
** Officer Bios
** Booth
** Calendar
** Updating the news
*** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*** Write news updates!
** Moar Pictars!!
** Manifesto?? Minor updates, perhaps.
*** Glisson got a burger with a fried egg on it and it blew his mind

==Talk Like a Pirate Day==
* Build a pirate ship around the fence!!!
* CIA has the fence; ask them for it
* Can use Kage for stuff

==Motion to Purple==
Now in purple.

==Motion to GTFO==

[[Category:Minutes]]

Bboard

2009-09-27T03:01:28Z

Jboning:

The bboard basically serves as the KGB's mailing list. Freshmen don't know how to access it. Freshmen also don't know how to access the wiki, but in case you somehow accessed the wiki and do not know how to access the bboard here is how:

0: Log into yo' andrew webmail: https://webmail.andrew.cmu.edu/ 
1: Click the "folders" link at the top of yo' page. 
2: See the whole "Unsubscribe/Subscribe" block? Type "assocs.kgb" and then his "subscribe". 
3: You now have access to the bboard. 
4: ??? 
5: Profit!

Bboard

2009-09-27T03:00:46Z

Jboning: More important steps

KGB's Sing-along Blog Planning

2009-09-26T20:33:16Z

Jboning: meeeeeeeeee

Please list your name here under the category(^Hies) in which you would be willing to help. Feel free to add more categories if you have something you think might be useful, or leave comments after your name to clarify what you can/can't help with.

== Acting/Singing ==
*Mander
*Sarah
*Tim
*jboning

== Writing/Editing ==
*Mander
*Sarah
*jvirdo

== Musical Accompaniment ==
It may be helpful to note what instruments you can play/have available.
*Tim
*jvirdo (have: Bb clarinet, flute; can play, in addition to these: alto/bass/contra-bass/etc. clarinet, piccolo, limited piano)

== Filming ==

== Sound Recording ==
*Tim
*jboning

== Video/audio Editing ==
*jboning

Minutes20090914

2009-09-18T19:18:18Z

Jboning:

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a weekend. Fixed computer. Boot CD, registry. Played Stupiduel.

==Mander==
Had a weekend. Successfully fixed computer! ITR Games in Gates.

===New People===
Billy, Physics, NY, doesn't like cheese

Sarah, CS + psych, WV, from WV

Jesse, chem, Hawaii, likes pie

Willis, ECE, CO, is short

Miranda, MechE, PA, took a nap today

Grace, CS, Yorktown VA, is a girl

==Richard (zsparks)==
Did things. Lots of things. Too interesting. There's an EVENT! Art! Science! Possibly competing.

==Emily==

==Josiah==
Has a report. Is the RecSec. Emily didn't have a report. Had a weekend. It was crazy; there was Jungle Speed and Twister Chess and ITR and going cool places with cool people and sleep schedule got totally broken.

==Laura (dmullown)==
Did stuff. Is a girl.

Someone threw an empty roll of pennies.

==Derek==
Has a report. Had a weekend. Made him tired. Did not do homework.

=Committees=

==Pop Occultism Committee==
You will enjoy razor-sharp spiritual vision today. ESG today! 5312 this week.

==Let jvirdo Dye Your Hair Committee==
Predicts future success.

==Fortune Telling Fish Committee==
Predicts blackboard guillotine.

==Martin Luther Memorial Committee==
Ben Wolf requests not making a 5-7 hour documentary about his life if it requires killing him.

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
Chord/word association game.

==Ad-Hoc Row of People Standing on a Log Flailing their Arms Committee==
Last semester, Mander was bought at Useless People Auction to do a challenge course thing. Cannot contact owners. Opening this to other people. Talk to him.

==[something about women from Tarsis]==
Wanted to misappropriate guitar to woo beautiful women

==Weird Dreams Committee==
Was going to say that Glisson is the most beautiful woman in the KGB

==Ad-Hoc Things that Matt Glisson Does in his Free Time Committee==
Has a Picture

==Umbrella Committee==
Winter in Pittsburgh XD
* Get a good hat
* Get a good pair of boots
* Get a good coat
* Get a good pair of wool socks. BUY WOOL SOCKS.

==Storytelling Committee==
Grove City Football Games

==Ad-Hoc Committee for Relationship Fracture==
Glisson & girlfriend were double booked

=Old Business=
Derek has the pfennig. The weather is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Poisonous Poison Committee==
Purpose: Imitate the mannerisms of everyone's favorite villians from chronocross

Sup dawg...

This committee doesn't allow a saving throw.

Redundant Committee, with the Misappropriated Redundant Committee, with the Ad-Hoc Redundant Committee: success success success

Favor: Inject something with a blankety blank; Opposed: Launch an attack on adjectives; Abstain: Bubbles!

$1 to Quuxum;

==Loud Committee==
Purpose: LOUD NOISES

ALARM! ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!

I GOT A FOUR approves

STELLLLLAAAAAAA

Polka dots and stripes

YOU WERE APPROPRIATELY QUIET AND RESPECTFUL ON THE UNDERGROUND TOUR. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PARTICIPATION.

KHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Ad-Hoc Democratic Nation Underground Tour Committee approves

Favor: Make a loud noise not with your mouth; Opposed: Quiet noise with your mouth; Abstain: make an average noise

$9 to one of the freshman; $CORSEC

==Bubbles Committee==
Purpose: Bubbles!

Blossom and Buttercup are jealous

Supports squid.

Clean joke: Had a bath with Bubbles. Dirty joke: She was the girl next door. Weird joke: She fit down the drain

Favor: Make or be mesmerized by bubbles; Opposed: [something]; Abstain: Make squares

$10 to jvirdo; her, Bubbles, Blossom, and, Buttercup

==Allocation of $50 for the event==
Good idea.

==Documentary Committee==
Purpose: To create a 7-9 hour documentary on the life and times of Ben Wolf

Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee would like to provide the soundtrack

bswolf gtfos.

He seemed to be eaten by the [adorable] door, but he's a alive!

Favor: Mime how you would kill Ben Wolf; Opposed: Shield Ben Wolf from attacks; Abstain: Don't care

$21 to Dannel; disbanded

=Announcements=

==Event!==
Art vs Science. Wean 53**. Do art. And science.

==Succ(KGB: The Movie)==
Email Dannel your script ideas. Even really random ones. djurado.

=Schmucks=

==Computer Club==
Demo Night is near Art vs. Science. Will be running graphical demos and cool things. WeH 7500. There will be food. Heavies allowed.

==Rocket Club==
There's a rocket club tomorrow at 4:30 in DH A301D. Check facebook. Rauhit will NOT be part of the payload.

==Zombies at CMU==
Glisson will be restarting the game this semester. If you played before, email him. If you're interested, email him. If you think he's cute, email him.

==TOC==
You should probably go. Tuesday and Wednesday.

==ITLAPD==
Build a pirate ship around the fence? =D

==ESG==
WeH 5312 6:30

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20090914

2009-09-18T19:17:16Z

Jboning: minutes!

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a weekend. Fixed computer. Boot CD, registry. Played Stupiduel.

==Mander==
Had a weekend. Successfully fixed computer! ITR Games in Gates.

===New People===
Billy, Physics, NY, doesn't like cheese

Sarah, CS + psych, WV, from WV

Jesse, chem, Hawaii, likes pie

Willis, ECE, CO, is short

Miranda, MechE, PA, took a nap today

Grace, CS, Yorktown VA, is a girl

==Richard (zsparks)==
Did things. Lots of things. Too interesting. There's an EVENT! Art! Science! Possibly competing.

==Emily==

==Josiah==
Has a report. Is the RecSec. Emily didn't have a report. Had a weekend. It was crazy; there was Jungle Speed and Twister Chess and ITR and going cool places with cool people and sleep schedule got totally broken.

==Laura (dumllown)==
Did stuff. Is a girl.

Someone threw an empty roll of pennies.

==Derek==
Has a report. Had a weekend. Made him tired. Did not do homework.

=Committees=

==Pop Occultism Committee==
You will enjoy razor-sharp spiritual vision today. ESG today! 5312 this week.

==Let jvirdo Dye Your Hair Committee==
Predicts future success.

==Fortune Telling Fish Committee==
Predicts blackboard guillotine.

==Martin Luther Memorial Committee==
Ben Wolf requests not making a 5-7 hour documentary about his life if it requires killing him.

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
Chord/word association game.

==Ad-Hoc Row of People Standing on a Log Flailing their Arms Committee==
Last semester, Mander was bought at Useless People Auction to do a challenge course thing. Cannot contact owners. Opening this to other people. Talk to him.

==[something about women from Tarsis]==
Wanted to misappropriate guitar to woo beautiful women

==Weird Dreams Committee==
Was going to say that Glisson is the most beautiful woman in the KGB

==Ad-Hoc Things that Matt Glisson Does in his Free Time Committee==
Has a Picture

==Umbrella Committee==
Winter in Pittsburgh XD
* Get a good hat
* Get a good pair of boots
* Get a good coat
* Get a good pair of wool socks. BUY WOOL SOCKS.

==Storytelling Committee==
Grove City Football Games

==Ad-Hoc Committee for Relationship Fracture==
Glisson & girlfriend were double booked

=Old Business=
Derek has the pfennig. The weather is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Poisonous Poison Committee==
Purpose: Imitate the mannerisms of everyone's favorite villians from chronocross

Sup dawg...

This committee doesn't allow a saving throw.

Redundant Committee, with the Misappropriated Redundant Committee, with the Ad-Hoc Redundant Committee: success success success

Favor: Inject something with a blankety blank; Opposed: Launch an attack on adjectives; Abstain: Bubbles!

$1 to Quuxum;

==Loud Committee==
Purpose: LOUD NOISES

ALARM! ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!

I GOT A FOUR approves

STELLLLLAAAAAAA

Polka dots and stripes

YOU WERE APPROPRIATELY QUIET AND RESPECTFUL ON THE UNDERGROUND TOUR. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PARTICIPATION.

KHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Ad-Hoc Democratic Nation Underground Tour Committee approves

Favor: Make a loud noise not with your mouth; Opposed: Quiet noise with your mouth; Abstain: make an average noise

$9 to one of the freshman; $CORSEC

==Bubbles Committee==
Purpose: Bubbles!

Blossom and Buttercup are jealous

Supports squid.

Clean joke: Had a bath with Bubbles. Dirty joke: She was the girl next door. Weird joke: She fit down the drain

Favor: Make or be mesmerized by bubbles; Opposed: [something]; Abstain: Make squares

$10 to jvirdo; her, Bubbles, Blossom, and, Buttercup

==Allocation of $50 for the event==
Good idea.

==Documentary Committee==
Purpose: To create a 7-9 hour documentary on the life and times of Ben Wolf

Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee would like to provide the soundtrack

bswolf gtfos.

He seemed to be eaten by the [adorable] door, but he's a alive!

Favor: Mime how you would kill Ben Wolf; Opposed: Shield Ben Wolf from attacks; Abstain: Don't care

$21 to Dannel; disbanded

=Announcements=

==Event!==
Art vs Science. Wean 53**. Do art. And science.

==Succ(KGB: The Movie)==
Email Dannel your script ideas. Even really random ones. djurado.

=Schmucks=

==Computer Club==
Demo Night is near Art vs. Science. Will be running graphical demos and cool things. WeH 7500. There will be food. Heavies allowed.

==Rocket Club==
There's a rocket club tomorrow at 4:30 in DH A301D. Check facebook. Rauhit will NOT be part of the payload.

==Zombies at CMU==
Glisson will be restarting the game this semester. If you played before, email him. If you're interested, email him. If you think he's cute, email him.

==TOC==
You should probably go. Tuesday and Wednesday.

==ITLAPD==
Build a pirate ship around the fence? =D

==ESG==
WeH 5312 6:30

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20090828

2009-09-18T15:42:57Z

Jboning: Minutes20090828 moved to MinutesExec20090828: Oops these are also exec minutes.

#REDIRECT [[MinutesExec20090828]]

MinutesExec20090828

2009-09-18T15:42:56Z

Jboning: Minutes20090828 moved to MinutesExec20090828: Oops these are also exec minutes.

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Girlfriend went to quarantine instead of date :( She is better, will be released at 7:00 tonight. Glisson is not sick, has itchy eye though. Weird laptop screen
.

==Alan==
Not present, making cake.

Had a week. Had some first classes. Had some baking (today). Should have varied sugar with milk, not chocolate. Raspberries!

==Richard==
Had the plague yesterday, lay on couches and ate chicken noodle soup.

==Emily==
Making potato salad. Potatoes are cooling.

==Josiah==
Asked for lunch box. Got lunch box, sandals, two shoeboxes, and cookies.

==Laura==
Doesn't have the flu. Classes and stuff. Blah blah blah blah. [I'm not mocking her; she said this out loud.] Classes don't seem that hard; has thought that before.

==Derek==
Left Caitlin cooking cornbread. We may have cornbread tonight. We may not have cornbread tonight. Either is possible. Still sleeping on the floor. Will try to get furniture soon.

=Business=

labbott got stuff. Is locked in closet. We will ask info desk after meeting.

We need to get more keys.

Feeling flagstaff is probably going to be wet. Will be in PH A18*.

Underground Tour planning. 1:00 PM tomorrow
* Will probably be skipping Leap? To be discussed
* 1+ of exec should show up early; someone should bring a laptop.
* jboning will share Google doc with the rest of exec before then
* Don't particularly need old scripts printed out

Underground Tour itself
* Will allocate $150
* When to get food
* Where to keep food -- a cooler? Keep at labbott's.

Need rep for KGB leadership meeting.
* ~$400 in student activities
* Need to set up oracle account with them, withdraw money
* Don't necessarily want the university looking too closely at our finances
* Will go to money meeting
** A whole bunch at 4:30; one at 9:30

Get Boarded, Get Carded next week

Exec phone numbers -- oh, Derek texted people

T-shirts
* Have: last year booth
* Need: ctfws, my actions, new ctfws (glisson's posters?)

Event inside or outside?
* Outside: squishy, but there is concrete.

[[Category:Minutes]]

MinutesExec20090904

2009-09-18T15:42:24Z

Jboning: Minutes20090904 moved to MinutesExec20090904: Oops there are exec minutes.

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Food in Resnick is fantastic

==Alan==
One sock has a hole. Actually both. Unfortunte for the UG Tour. Hectic week; research winding up. Eta-boost working. Likes freshmen.

==Richard (Ben)==
There's an event it's tonight

==Emily==
Almost screwed up english.

==Josiah==
Week. Some sleep. Some not sleep. Made posters; went quickly!

==Laura==
Kittens!!!! Instead, came downstairs. Kittens.

==Derek (Ben)==
Halp I'm trapped in a kitten factory

=Business=

==Underground Tour==
Stuff ready except thataway signs, some burger logistics?

==Event: Get Board Get Carded==
Room reservation! do it.

==CTFWS date???==
There appears to be a fall date that is good?

Figure out date over email

==Demo Night==
(Event in two weeks)

cclub has retro hardware! A couple hours long, Friday, cellphone demos, current windows things

Reserve a classroom near WeH 7500?

Art and Science (tentative)

==Glowsticks==
Cluster Rave can use some if there are plenty.

==Buy a tent?==
Find how much a tent would cost.

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20090904

2009-09-18T15:42:24Z

Jboning: Minutes20090904 moved to MinutesExec20090904: Oops there are exec minutes.

#REDIRECT [[MinutesExec20090904]]

Minutes20090907

2009-09-08T02:48:26Z

Jboning: Minutes!!

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Weekend, cluster rave, stuff.

==Mander==
Weekend. Cluster gaming, marines won sometimes and aliens won sometimes!

===New People===
Jimmy, St Louis, CS, likes cheese

John, CS, Charleston, didn't eat breakfast

Alex, CS, has thrown a frisbee

Ben, Architecture + Linguistics, wearing clothes

==Richard==
Has a report! Hates scheduling. There's an event! Get Board Get Carded! Bring board games! Bring card games! Bring freshthings!

==Emily==
Is short. Is having a weekend. Parties and cluster raves and baby pravdas. Cluster printing is borked.

==Josiah==
Had a weekend. UG Tour; some fail, fun anyway. Cluster rave; some fail; fun anyway.

==Laura==
Weekend. UG Tour. Swine flu cheer! Still has not played FF VII.

==Derek==
Led astray by Tom Strong; 1 hour out of Pittsburgh.

[given by zsparks:] I'm an hour outside of Pittsburgh. Remember how I'm a contortionist? Yeah.

=Committees=

==Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7==
Continued lack of failure

==Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes==
Top 10 best and worse D&D skills for sex O_o

==Committee To Burn Down Roselawn 7==
Failure

==Ad-Hoc Committee to Confuse Outsiders==
CMU doesn't have steam tunnels!

==Robot Cat-Herding Committee==
Seeing 9 on Saturday; think about it. Info will be on b-board.

==ITR Committee==
Saturday at 10PM -- Meeting on Wean 4; Moving to Gates 8 (and 9?)

==Time Cube Committee==
It is time; Gwillen has a cube

==Misappropriated or Ad-Hoc Committee to Corrupt Small Children==
Nicholas (Becca's son): "CMU hates grass!"

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
List of situations when it would be inappropriate or awkward to accompany someone

==Andrimal ID Committee==
Tuttlefish!

=Old Business=

jvirdo has the thing. Inability to solve Rubik's cubes is not her fault.

=New Business=

==Committee to turn Exec into Pro Wrestlers==
Purpose: JBONEBREAKER! Alan "THE BURNINATOR" Kraut!

Michael Vick wants in!

Name: Committee to turn Exec in Professional Lucha Libre Wrestlers

Nacho!!!!

Favor: Perform a wrestling move on your neighbor; Opposed: Perform a safe, slow help session for numerical methods; Abstain: Squid

$4 to Rocketmatt; him, exec, Nacho Libre

==410 Cube==
Purpose: Four simultaneous threads in one pre-emptible kernel!

Are we educated stupid? We're educated students.

Favor: Say that it's the most beautiful cube ever; Opposed: Log on to qachan.org; Abstain: Talk about the latest gossip about Angelina someone

410 context switch every day

$3 to Gwillen; OS course staff: former, current, and future

==Darwin Committee==
Promotion of Natural Selection

It's a good idea!

Trying to *create* this! Natural Selection has been intelligently designed!

Achievements/awards?

Promotion to Unnatural Selection?

Favor: judge which KGB member would be deemed unfit by Darwin; Opposed: play Sim City; Abstain: Shoot down the helicopter over and over and over

$5 to Alan; anyone who has played NS; anyone sitting in the command chair

==Allocation of $50 for event==
Good idea.

==Practice Theory Committee==
Purpose: Study things that work in practice in theory but not in practice

Purpose: To examine how things differ in practice from in theory

Will Karl Marx be the professor for this class?

Will Groucho Marx be the professor for this class?

Favor: Talk about a situation in which theory and practice differed; Opposed Claim that heory and practice are the same; Abstain: Make a B for guitar tuning

$5 to bswolf; people who practice theory

==Time Travel Committee, Committee to Turn Exec into Professional Lucha Libre Wrestlers==
Reports success

==Time Travel Committee, Darwin Committee==
People often play NS in the cluster on Sunday evenings

==Has That Ever Stopped Us Before Committee==
Purpose: To report when duplicate committees are made

Has That Ever Stopped Us Before Committee approves

Name: Has That Ever Stopped Us Before Committee

Favor: Vote in favor; Opposed: Tell him we already have this committee; Abstain: Imitate zsparks' accent

$9 to jvirdo; her and all the old Has That Ever Stopped Us Before Committees

==Mobius Duck==
Purpose: Why did the cross the Mobius Strip? To get to the... oh, wait...

Seems a little one-sided

Favor: Draw an imaginary mobius duck in the air; Opposed: State that mobius strips have two sides, you idiots; Abstain: Make up some imaginary animal

$12 to ttuttle; jwatzman

==Helper Committee==
Purpose: To determine people who are helpers

You helpeer! You completely

Favor: [something]; Opposed: Try to derail Get Board Get Carded; Abstain: Squid

$something to labbott: all the helpers in KGB

==Committee to Not Get Eaten By That Door==
Purpose: To go in and out through the window

Use the boost to get through!

Misappropriated Reverse Defenestration Committee approves

Favor: Tell Glisson how much money you will throw through the door; Opposed: It is cute! It will never hurt you! Abstain: Attempt to go through the ceiling
$1 to [someone]; Cohort (both)

==I GOT A FOUR Committee==
Purpose: To loudly proclaim the results of a move silently check

Favor: Fail a move silently check; Against: Succeed on a hide check; Abstain: Play Sim City

$4 to bswolf; people who fail their checks

==Glowy Flashy Rntzy Things Committee==
Purpose: CLUSTER RAVE!

Ad-Hoc System Error Committee approves

What the fuck is a bus error?

Favor: Rave in your seats; Against: Waltz inn place; Abstain: Intently watch the concert in the window

$10 to bblum; him, jboning, gwillen, rntz, anyone who attends a cluster rave

=Announcements=

==Event==
Get Board Get Carded -- 7PM, PH A18*

==Dues==
Pay your dues!

==Pravda?==
SUBMIT TO PRAVDA?!!

==Cookies==
Sarah has cookies! Officer of the Week!

==Shirts==
Rocketmatt wants them. They should be brought to meetings.

=Schmucks=

==ITR Games==
10PM. Meet on Wean 4; go to Gates 8 if you are late.

==Glisson==
Zombies at CMU thing. Like Call of Cthulu.

==Rocket Club==
Designing club rocket tomorrow. Possible pizza.

==D&D==
People looking for D&D groups. Someone should DM.

twright DMing a campaign! 3.5

==bswolf==
Motion to #define DEBUG

[[Category:Minutes]]

MinutesExec20090904

2009-09-08T02:09:15Z

Jboning: Minutes!

Minutes20090831

2009-09-08T02:04:02Z

Jboning: Minutes!

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Mech E. Might give meeting to Alan or someone.

==Alan==
Weekend. Stuff. Planning for Underground Tour. Played Natural Selection. Considering going to Waterfront.

===Peeeeeooooooopplllllllllleeee!===
Allison CS 30 min north, blonde hair

Sarah 30 min N, chem e, four siblings

Robert CS outside DC (va side), tj didn't let him in

Margaret, CS, Rochester, has a brother

Adam, Chem E, Connecticut, was wearing a hoodibut it got hot

Brent, CS, Singapore

Evan, ECE, NJ, xkcd

Heather, robotics (grad), Harvey Mudd, MD, purple

Andrew, phd security, mn, should vacuum

Kelly CS, S jersey, has skin

Kellie CS E Tennesse, 5 fingers on left hand

Ashley, CA (LA), cfa (art), did laundry yesterday

Glenn, cal tech, robotics phd, wearing sandals

==Richard (rocketmatt)==
Event. Underground Tour. That one squirrel. New lies. Fri 7PM @ UC Black Chairs

==Emily==
Weekend. KGB. Nine square thing. Underground Tour. PRAVDA!

==Josiah==
Weekend. Underground Tour. Event

==Laura==
Picnic. Underground Tour. FF7. Pay your dues!

==Derek==
Small, not least. Got sick and better and sick and better. Now mostly better. Had a DVD drive. Kicked it; it almost worked. Then it blew up. No desk.

=Committee Reports=

==Drew Besse Sorta Sounds Like JFK Committee==
Had a weekend. Got to see his brother [heh, heh].

==Powerthirst Committee==
[something about freshman]

==Injudicious Exclamation Committee==
Yo dawg, I heard you like fractals

==Charlie is Poor Committe==
Can have old broken DVD drive?

==Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7, Injudicious Exclamation Committe, Committe to Not Break jboning, Grautitous Obscenity Commitee==
Party, 9:00 PM Saturday. Email sully/j4cbo to get on the dlist.

==ITR Committee==
Was going to be ITR this weekend, but not any more more (due to r7 party)

==Frut Slad==
thre bannas in eforney's suite

==Sean & Quxxum==
Sean had the plague. Throat sucks but...

==Storytelling==
Confuse-a-Bagger/Confuse-a-Becca

==Twitter==
Industrial Design at CMU: it sounds like a dildo, it looks like a dildo, and it's used for planting seeds

=Old Business=

Pfennig of Fault. Rocketmatt has the thing. Possbily burning down Roselawn 7 is not his fault.

=New Business=

==Cohort 2.0 Committee==
Purpose: There was a thing called the Cohort. There were a lot of them. Now there are a lot of them.

Will have a tag cloud! rss feed! sans serif! (err, papyrus)

Name: Cohort 2 Electric Boogaloo. fail.

People who bought the orignal cohort -- simple upgrade price!

Favor: Say hi to 8; Opposed: Shun 8; Abstain: Hellllllllllo nurse

$27 to zsparks; Cohort 1.0 and Cohort 2.0

==Allocate $150 for event==
Good idea

==Butt Security Committee==
Purpose: To secure butts.

Pigeonholing Committee approves

dkap does not approve

bblum c.c

goatse.com features a gaping security hole

Favor: Protect some part of your body; Opposed: Don't need protection; Abstain: Be indifferent to Alan's plight

$11 to labbott: disbanded

==Jokeserver 2.0 Committee==
Purpose: A joke server -- automated!

Millions will die!

How will synergy be leveraged?

Tags on duct tape; tape over mouth

Favor: terrible pun; Opposed: Turn to ben wolf and point angrily; Abstain: Tell a knock-knock joke

Interrupting dancing pterodactyl

$??? to ????: ????

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment==
Purpose: To inappropriately accompany people

[here the meeting is an interrupted by a DANCE PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Vavor: listen to a concert; Opposed: ???; Abstain ???

$27 to Matt: Tim and Matt

=Announcements=

==Event==
Underground Tour! Help!!!!

==Dues==
Pay Your Dues!!!

==Activities Fair==

=Schmucks=

==Rocket Club==
Tues 4:30 - 6:00 Asomethingsomethingsomething DH

==Musical==
In Kresge -- Alan Caum is in it -- Sat at 8

==Dannel==
Might teach a stuco

==Puzzle Hunt==
Meeting Wednesday

==Roselawn 7 Party==
Saturday at 9pm

==Cluster Rave==
Sunday, WeH 5203

[[Category:Minutes]]