KGB Wiki - User contributions [en]

Minutes20250407

2025-08-11T22:56:16Z

Jholz: Created page with "MEETING 4/7/25 (FIRST HALF) OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: had a spring carnival, didn’t plan classes for next semester until like midnight, woke up at 8:14, went to sleep, then..."

MEETING 4/7/25 (FIRST HALF)

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: had a spring carnival, didn’t plan classes for next semester until like midnight, woke up at 8:14, went to sleep, then registered for classes

Benner: so fucking tired, just kill me you don’t have to write that part down, stopped everything during booth, have to do everything again, missed 2 tours today since so tired from teardown, also lost debit card, wanted to get something from the vending machine, fumbled debit card into the gap between floor and the elevator, bought wrong thing from the vending machine, it’s been a rough 24 hours not gonna lie

Teddy: booth happened, booth is over, I’m free

Nathan: Booth booth booth booth booth

Julia: boothed, house cleaner after throwing a party than before

Ryan: helped with teardown after sleeping in cluster, slept like 14 hours today

Isaac: carnivalled a little too close to the sun, slept nearly all day on Sunday, thank you to Kevin Kluznik’s parents for dinner, put Kevin’s face on a cake, it was sweet (referring to the use of the word sweet as sweet)

Luke: Benner reparations: I’m going to kill benner

Nathan: quora: IF I leave the solar system do the ten commandments still apply to me

Luke: [redacted]

Benner: wikipedia: safari can’t open that page (webkit encountered an internal error)

Ryan: impostor cmu buildings: googled smith, not very useful

Aresh: animal facts: chicken jockey

Nathan: hivemind: I will kill the luke president of the KGB I will kill the luke with a gun right now, space mexico tequila your own name your own name your own name end report

Nathan: quora: do demons sing, if so, what type of songs do they sing?

Luke ah mis ah mis ah mis ah mis: it’s ad hoc and misaproppriated it’s fish

Nathan: motion to table the ah….

Savi: ah eating paper: it was pretty good

Isaac: ah Isaac’s voicemail: [distorted voicemail]

Ryan: inuring to the personal despair of KGB members: luke erbsen is ad hoc and misappropriated

Gavin: national day: today is the final day

Savi: mis. national day: it’s world health day, got texted by a friend just for that

Luke: ah hawk tuah: hawk tuah

Isaac: ah is the pope alive: yeah

Benner: mis national day: happy: anniversary of Rwandan civil war, happy: beer day

Ryan: mis wikipedia: list of snakes, redirects to lists of snakes, theres several lists of snakes on wikipedia

Nathan: mis national day: today is national annual KGB meeting day

[ELECTION TIME!!!]

AND SAVI BEGINS HER REIGN

It is 6:10 and we are beginning the new exec board!

Pres: Benner

1VP: Ryan

2VP: Daniel

CorSec: Nathan

RecSec: yours truly

Treasurer: Isaac

S@A: Noah

I am ready! I will do better than Daniel would’ve!

Old business:

M to create delay new business committee for the purpose to be tabled for one week

Tabled for one week

M to make the I was gonna make a new committee but I forgot “it was gonna be really funny I swear”

Failed

New business:

Teddy- M to create SR such that Teddy can call out “first!”

Failed

Not sure- M to create SR such that it’s the first SR

Passed

Not sure- M to create SR such that it’s the second SR

Passed

Aresh- M to pound define predatory micro transactions as an auction

Passed

Mihir- M to make SR that everyone must raise left hand to be called on

Failed

*this is really productive guys keep it up

Ryan- M to create “make treasury do work” committee with purpose to make treasurer type one row per week into the sheet

Failed

Mihir- M to make SR such that whenever someone objects they must do ace attorney finger pointing gesture

Passed

Isaac- M to create SR such that you can challenge an objection by saying anti-objection, and if the objection person wants to they can say ‘yeah, ok :( ’

M to amend anti objection to “overruled”

Passed

M to amend such that one must pound the table

Passed

Passed

Nathan- M to define “corner of shame” as the rightmost farthest corner from the perspective of corsec

Passed

Teddy- if 8 Ms, committees, SRs, pound defines, (not allocations) are proposed by exec in a row, an exec member is ejected from the room (to promote audience participation)

M to amend such that it’s the other way around

Failed

M to amend such that it’s 5 instead of 8

Passed

M to amend such that it’s not a random choice

Failed

Passed

Gavin- M to allocate $60 to buy more hands

Passed

Nathan- M to allocate $69, c420 for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Passed (still not sure what this week’s event will be)

Nathan- M to create SR such that oh wait come back to me

Mihir- M to create SR such that after money is thrown at treasurer they aren’t allowed to speak again until they’ve provided an accurate count of the money

Passed

Actual things we need to do!

Cost of dues:

M to set dues as $15 for semester, $20 for year, $69, c420 per second

M to amend to $15.01 to make up for the mishap this year

Failed

M to amend to Graham’s number per second

Passed?

Passed

M to Purple

Passed

Exec Discretionary Fund:

M to allocate $690, c420 to EDF

Passed

Nathan- M to create SR such that if you have a bottle of Summit Cola you can be called on first

M to amend such that you have to raise the bottle

Passed

M to amend such that you have to drink at least a quarter of the bottle

Not friendly

100% of liquid needs to be cola

Has to be original container of summit cola

Needs noticeably have cola in it

Passed

This objection thing is quite fun

RRA

We are the CMU KGB

We also have Readme

That’s announcements!

We do have an event this week!

Benner loves whentomeet

Pay your dues

Schmucks

Luke is looking for a roommate, Summer 1

DEBATE 7pm McConomy April 12

Buggy is running this weekend and they need volunteers (no alumni left)

Note that the debate will have CMU PD as security, do with that what you will

Booth retrospective, not sure when though

M to lilac

M to equal mix of blue, red, and yellow

Will be funnier next time

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20250331

2025-08-11T22:55:48Z

Jholz: Created page with "Daniel: did a lot of booth Benner: has many things to say about UHS, such as, why do they make me go talk to them every 3 months to get my medication, they ask me if I’m go..."

Daniel: did a lot of booth

Benner: has many things to say about UHS, such as, why do they make me go talk to them every 3 months to get my medication, they ask me if I’m good? and I say I’m god. then they ask if I’m still gay. It’s stressful, and it always happens when I am the most stressed, Saturdays they’re only open 10-2, then they still close 12-12:45 for cleaning. Exam is over.

Gavin^Teddy: I probably did a non-zero amount of booth, making the fuck out of this really cool game, event: defectors party, Noon, Saturday

Benner^Nathan: I am Nathan. Viola

Julia: complaining about GCP colab being deprecated

Ryan: didn’t think would have to migrate everything to KGB server, surprised Luke hasn’t yelled at me more

Ryan^Isaac: I’m doing the coolest little dance you’ve seen, absolutely busting it down sexual style

OLD BUSINESS

Benner wants spirit of thing

“delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week"

Gavin: motion to table for 1 week

Passed, been tabled for 1 week

COMMITTTEE REPORTS

Benner: wikipedia: sending stamps to space

Gavin: ah intercollegiate welfare check: purdue has been wiped off the map

Ryan: mis is Benner gay: is benner gay?

Benner: won’t know until thursday

Benner: good youtube videos: daniel you’ve gotta read this one

Daniel: it’s in Japanese, I can’t read Japanese

Benner: [puts it into google translate]

Daniel: seikaku tokubetsu eizo – something like that

Gavin: national day: national bunsen burner day

Benner: speedrunning: metalgear solid 2: cig %, complete the game while having a cigarette equipped whenever possible, 1 submission, 1hour 40 mins

Ryan: solvents: solvents on midway for brush cleaning

Savi: ah random facts: bunsen burners are what got me into chemistry and chemical engineering

Benner: thank you for subscribing to animal facts [plays audio of bird peeping] (video called meep, shrug)

Gavin: point of information on metalgear solid cigarettes

Ryan: ah cool google sheets formula: it creates a nice table showing paid and unpaid debts, someone put benners andrew id in wrong

Benner: ah Benner has to leave for kiltie band: I have to leave for kiltie band, you guys should come to the performance, 3:30

Julia: nominating committee

Noah: hiveming: oh no not again did you pay dues already that’s a lot of words end report damn

Noah: motion to the wean hall 5 bathroom sign

Ryan: motion to allocate 2million$ to the having 2 million dollars fund

[Ryan takes a phonecall from chem lab partner on speaker while we all listen in - most of it is indistinguishable]

Mihir: can you tell Adi I say hi

Ryan: also Adi says hi

Ryan: Adi says how are you

Mihir: tell him I say good how are you?

Gavin: ask reddit

Julia: I’m against big government spending, we should not allocate 2 million dollars to the 2 million dollars fund

Failed

Gavin: askreddit: have you ever seen a corpse in real life, how was it?

Noah: mis quora: what’s the first thing wives do when they get home from cheating on their husbands?

Mihir: motion to complain about a video game I played the other day

Mihir: playing shindragami (fish) nocturne, got stuck in an encounter with an enemy lost like an hour of progress.

Ryan: motion to create a standing rule such that the question has been called

Passed, been stood

Julia: motion to create a standing rule such that you can second your own motion and it works unless the chair calls you out on it

Passed, been stood

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: pay your dues, booth, defectors party

SCHMUCKS

Julia: booth party Friday night

Gavin: pleeeeease come to sigbovik on Friday at 5pm

Ryan: CMU democrats debating Republicans

Ryan: motion to the color of orange if your eyes were deeply fucked up and worked in backwards

Gavin: motion to the color that everyone else says is purple but I’m certain its not purple

Noah: motion to blue

Mihir: motion to the color of slightly burned chocolate chip cookies

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20250324

2025-08-11T22:55:25Z

Jholz: Created page with "Meeting delayed due to eating crepes and cultural food sponsored by Senate As of 5:36 pm quorum has not been reached As of 5:38 we still have not reached quorum but we are l..."

Meeting delayed due to eating crepes and cultural food sponsored by Senate

As of 5:36 pm quorum has not been reached

As of 5:38 we still have not reached quorum but we are lecturing Luke on not being antisemitic

As of 5:38 Isaac has arrived and we have reached quorum!

Let’s have a meeting

Daniel- had weekend, worked on booth

Benner- played a lot of minecraft, thought she would do a lot of work, dealt with a Dilemma

Teddy- absent, Luke would like to be Teddy, he is not a teddy bear, Luke messed up report

EVENT- this friday, 3pm, Kage, come when you get out of class, moving on to midway, BOOF, we will have a Uhaul

Nathan- absent, Benner as nathan, has the plague, doing so much physics and viola and it is taking years/decades off of my lifespan, did eurhythmics and it was pretty cool

You should submit to Pravda! ngaynor@andrew.cmu.edu or corsec@cmukgb.org

Julia- absent, Savi- julia in thailand, fill out attendance

Ryan- found out about Alpha ro ro, four friends, pirates, one is in the KGB server, if you wanna be a pirate let Ryan know

We open fire

Ryan forgets ceasefire

You need to pay dues now if you want to vote or run for things!!!!!! Or get a discount on booth shirt

Isaac- had crabs that ran and did somethin else, dressed like a hot girl and showed up to readme social

Committee Reports

YT- evangelion opening [paint versions]

Solvents- nathan sent a reel, ryan didn’t watch it, we watch it now, water is a solvent, dissolves anything, no benefit to water

Benner reparations- Luke gave one marshmallow, does not repare

NomCom-

Ryan noms himself for Pres

Tali withdraws from S@A

Daniel noms Tali for S@A- Tali rejects

Ryan noms Gavin for S@A- out of order

Luke noms Abigail for Pres- out of order

Noah noms himself for S@A- accepts

Daniel noms himself for 2VP- accepts

Missed connections- savi report

Misappropriated missed connections- luke report

Wikipedia- Flemish secession hoax took 2 years to plan, very interesting hoax, too long to write down, widespread alarm

Danya enters and votes on “was rtosh present on jan 6 2021”, “kgb hates homunculi” and “is isaac real”

Fucked up name- fergus on the fence, we feel bad, we shouldn’t

Speedrunning- angry birds classic, world rec, 14:19

Natl day- cheesecake day!

Old business

Isaac has thing, luke wants, 9/11 not his fault, everything else is

Motion to delay new business, tabled, passed

Luke tries to pass motions, we anti second

Benner requests high five

Ryan, motion for a cool crisp high five, approved

Danya- motion to refer to minnesota as east iowa or west michigan in all official comm in gbm- standing rule

Passed by acc, objection, call to question, all remaining hands taken, luke tries filibuster, passed

Luke- motion to pound define long island as short island- anti seconded

Noah- pound define new york as new amsterdam, passed by acc

Luke- being weird again

Noah casts friend destroyer on luke

Luke- motion to give someone else thing cause it’s ominous

Broken record comm-

Hivemind- out of order kill luke gavin end space mexico tequila your own name x3 end report

Recsec has discretion over hivemind

Motion to allocate $69 and $420 for guns and drugs for move on

Remaining hands taken, motion passed by acc

Treasurer- we are actually really rich, have a mansion somewhere fancy

Luke- comm to apologize to people, then he gets weird about it

Motion failed

Ryan- motion to create gavin discretionary fund comm, to purchase gavin related items, not violating bylaws

Benner- amend to purchase gavin based enrichment activities, motion unfriendly, strong motion

Amendment passed

Motion passed

Auction-

1

2 million

8

Fizz dbl or 0

11

Fizz dbl or 0

13

Fizzbuzz dbl or 0

16

17

18

19

20

Fizz dbl or 0

22

23

24

25 dbl or 0

26

Fizz dbl or 0

Has ryan embezzled??

28

29 dbl or 0

30

31

32- sold to Mihir- had no idea what he was bidding on

Chair of committee- Luke (coin flip) (gavin will be tormented for the rest of time)

Benner- motion to purple (3rd time)

Luke- motion anti seconded, objected to

Ryan- motion to allocate 15 bucks to gavin enrichment comm

Motion passed

Real relevant announcements

Hello we cmu kgb thank for coming sorry it ran late

For the next two weeks- BOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!

Build house, use power tools, unwind, kids love game, except structural judge b. We hope structural judge b’s family finds the body

Move on is at 6, everything needs to be in Uhaul by then, show up at 3 or as early as possible, we need lots of hands!!!

Form will be sent out with time commitments, we expect you to dedicate time if you signed up yes to do booth way back when

If you haven’t messaged Daniel or Jonathan yet to be a booth builder, you can still for a small fee!

Booth will be cool!

Booth shirts- design finalized, 15 for dues paying members, 20 for non dues paying members, shark going thru you, back is the tail, thank you Merlin for the amazing design

We will eat some loss on the shirts

Readme out on wednesday!! Pls show up for distribution tuesday night @ 6!

Sigbovik- April 4, 5pm, Rashid Auditorium, Hillman Center, you may learn stuff about CS! Super funny, super cool, don’t need to understand CS!

SDC pushing- booooooooooo (satanic devil cult) dm Abigail if you want to push, need more women pushers

CMU Dems- HOT ONES YOU SHOULD COME!!!! Climate themed, March 27, 7pm, Danforth

First day of carnival, next thursday, April 3rd, Kiltie Band concert, must go otherwise benner will hate you forever

Jewish folks- Chabad meals that you can use your meal block on

Motion to the color slightly lower energy than UV in order

Motion to red- ooo

Motion to red and blue- in order

Seafoam green- ooo

US flag in a blender and other funny things- in order if you cross your eyes really hard

Tali’s sweater- in order

Luke’s pants- ooo

Halloween- ooo

GTFO!!!!!

[minutes courtesy of sbhat]

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20250317

2025-08-11T22:55:03Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: played liars dice Benner: presentation to group of my peers who are soooo good at analyzing media Teddy: event: touches grass!!! Nathan: paid off s..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: played liars dice

Benner: presentation to group of my peers who are soooo good at analyzing media

Teddy: event: touches grass!!!

Nathan: paid off sleep debt, did competition and lost, transcribed the rhythm of winnie the pooh quotes

Julia: I visited university of maryland

Ryan: fixed bicycle, mike short for micycle, discovering lots of scary things in attic of KGB server

Isaac: saw friend’s house, apartment completely empty except for shelf with a knife, interpretive dance, crying

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: happy birthday to my dad: it’s my dad’s birthday

Nathan: weird monopoly: flavortown edition

Julia: nominations

Nathan: quora: do demons sing

Luke: ad hoc committee of hawking: ca caw

Aresh: animal facts: pet defanged headcrabs: lamar

Isaac: reminding about lingering curse: aresh has the lingering curse

Teddy: booth: move on is in 2 weeks, please come to build, also, I need music for game

Ryan: impostor CMU buildings: warner hall in virginia

Benner: youtube: I call them cities flying

Nathan: oats subsidy board: 3.68$

Benner: corn subsidies: 4.4325 (as of march 14th)

Aresh: give the lingering curse to Luke

Ryan: playing a low droning noise: [plainfin midshipman sounds]

Isaac: ad hoc mental illness: i saw a peach colored circle and a blue square and jd vance flashed before my eyes I think I need to be checked into some sort of institution

Nathan: Hivemind: [CENSORED] please no space mexico tequila your own name your own name your own name not a cult sorry

Benner: wikipedia: cat fugue

Luke: ah there are people living in my walls: I hear the voices the voices your in my walls

Ryan: cancel report

Noah: ah moon asteroid committee: 1.7%

Luke: mis jfc: you’re not getting any fucking money next year

Ryan: treasury: fuck you, we have all the money we need

OLD BUSINESS

Daniel: who has the thing

[Noah pulls out copy of the movie the Thing]

Savi has the thing, Isaac wants thing, not fault: pope will die on the 22nd, is fault: the next pope

Julia: “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week"

Nathan: motion to table for 1 week

Passed, been tabled

Ryan: motion to create the JD Vance committee purp: to report on happenings with JD Vance (not seconded)

Aresh: motion to eject Luke

Passed, been ejected

Ryan: motion to allocate 69$ and 420 cents for this weeks event

Benner: motion to amend to 5$ (not strong)

Noah: motion to amend to 2million dollars^2 (49$)

Teddy: motion to amend purpose to “buying one of the bonsai trees at phipps” (friendly, been changed)

Savi: point of information: where keep bonsai

Passed, been allocated

Isaac: motion to create the “is our government still there committee” purp: to report on if the government is still there

Passed, been created, sold for 1$ to isaac, chaired by uh, yeah

Nathan: motion to create a spell called banishment, when cast upon a person, the person must go to the corner of shame for 1 minute

Savi: is the corner of shame behind the president’s shoulder or Daniel’s shoulder

Failed (it was a tie)

Ryan: motion to #define “Luke” as “I don’t see any hands”

Luke: that’s evil, I’m detransitioning so I can change my name again

Daniel: unfriendly

Benner: please comittee: please give me nerf gun bullets, I lost mine and would like to shoot daniel and then myself

Isaac: motion to create a spell called nominate a scheming eunuch, which would put someone in the corner of shame and then they get to influence the president. In a tiebreaker vote, the scheming eunuch gets to make the final call. If that occurs. The scheming eunuch lasts until the next vote is passed, if they influence a vote, they get assassinated and must then play dead.

Passed, been stood

Isaac: I cast scheming Eunuch on myself

Luke: motion to create a standing rule such that Luke can no longer say “penar explosion chamber”, if he says the phrase “penar explosion chamber” (or any combination of two of the three words) he is immediately ejected from the meeting and cannot come back

Passed, been stood

Nathan: motion to create the Luke Erbsen psychology committee “to figure out whatever the hell is going on in your brain”

Luke: motion to add to the purpose: if you do figure out what’s wrong with me could I also know (friendly, been changed)

Passed, sold to Ryan for 8$, chaired by Daniel Yin

Teddy: motion to create a standing rule such that you can propose a sitting rule, which is a rule that only applies to people who are standing

Passed, been stood

Benner: motion to create the reparations for Benner Rogers committee: I actually have a real headache right now, and my character has been slandered and if anyone else compares me to JD Vance again I will kill myself

Passed unanimously (it’s a magical motion), sold to Ryan for 1$, chaired by: Luke Erbsen

Benner: I was lying

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that if a committee is magical they can report anytime

Passed

REAL & RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: pay dues, we have 3 weeks until elections, you must attend a meeting after paying your dues to vote

Daniel: Booth builds wednesday, saturday, sunday to get exterior ply painted

Teddy: meeting Friday 7:00 at black chairs to go to Phipps

Daniel: week after that on Friday is also move on, we will be moving all walls/floors/ply for booth to midway, there will be free food

Daniel: ReadME is publishing this week

SCHMUCKS

Benner: Sigbovik will happen, April 4th at 5pm, went out on scsall and sigbovik mailing list

Benner: around then is also Kiltie Band’s last concert

Ryan: you can chair a table and table a chair but can’t chair a chair or table a table

Savi: purple

Teddy: I need music for game, I’ll take multiple soundtracks if I get

Noah: seafoam green

Savi: purple

Benner: ultraviolet light

Benner: ultraviolent light

Teddy: regular violet light

Luke: hexcode FF00FF

Ryan: purple killed my father

Benner: motion to the color that was on the screen when I was playing video games with my friend brandon

Savi: motion to color complementary to the plastic hands

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20250310

2025-08-11T22:54:43Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: mostly here for the first half of spring break, went back to NY botanical garden, the orchid show is falling off unfortunately Benner: very strange d..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: mostly here for the first half of spring break, went back to NY botanical garden, the orchid show is falling off unfortunately

Benner: very strange dream last night, also I on Saturday will be competing in this olympiad thing that Pitt hosts, have to be able to do kind of a lot of stuff for that, we’ll see how that goes

NEW PERSON!!!

Ethan, he/him, rockford, illinois, psychology major, junior, got lied to that someone else was from rockford in the discord

Nathan^Teddy: worked on the booth game, filmed, come play capture the flag in wean and doherty with stuff, we will be serving free pie

Nathan: went skiing for a bit, last 2 days, got 4 hours of sleep 2 days in a row

Julia: soup dumplings, pizza, magic

Ryan: ansys flooded

Isaac: went to omegamart, got some cool stuff, you have no idea what's in store for you

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: speedrunning: twilight princess, category extensions, have to obtain any sword, obtain hawkeye, obtain and keep an oku, fire a cannon, open a chest with 100+ rubies, enter

Julia: nominating committee: election

Nathan: quora: do real rizzlers that actually have girls call themselves rizzlers?

Ryan: solvents: ethanol

Benner: wikipedia: waffle house index, index based on wafflehouses and whether or not they’re closed during natural disasters

savi: ah call for a good time: CMU PD non-emergency number

Nathan: paper airplane

Ryan: mis ah call for a good time: should not call to say just

Nathan: hivemind: i have feeling bad today about killing the president of the united arab emirates because I also want to eat the president of the united kingdom space mexico tequila your own name your own name your own name

Nathan: corn: 4.58

Gavin: good news: weather’s pretty good, in california it’s awful

Benner: youtube: mcdonald’s in the pentagon (Ska version)

Isaac: ah hoagie: new movie called hoagie coming out

Tali: ah poorly designed baseball hats: teTas

Isaac: lingering curse: aresh now has the lingering curse

Gavin: national day: national napping day

Ryan: fizz buzz: we did it

Nathan: quora: if everyone farted at the same time would the world explode?

Aresh: animal facts: zookeepers show pandas panda porn to get them to mate in captivity

Isaac: mis good youtube: video pricemaster

Noah: ah asteroid: 1 in 1099 thousand, 7% chance of hitting the moon

Savi: ah lunar eclipse watching: at 3am on friday morning, you might be able to see a total lunar eclipse depending on weather

OLD BUSINESS

Julia: “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week"

Nathan: table for one week

Passsed, been tabled

Ryan has the thing, Savi wants the thing, not fault flooding in ansys b, is fault: not flooding this week

NEW BUSINESS

Benner: motion to create the itch.io gaming committee with purpose “I love itchio, itch.io, there’s some really good stuff on it, there’s some really strange stuff on it, had to go on it for rpg class, found some pretty awesome role playing games in addition to pretty awesome video games I already had and I really want to share them with people so please, please, please sorry for making you write so much”

Passed, been created, sold for 13$ to Benner, chaired by “me, fuck you guys”

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that if you are antimagical you cannot be effected by magic (all spells and cantrips)

Benner: squid companion

Nathan: in the model of cohogs (large salmon enemy in game) there is a little shrimp in their backpocket

Passed

Ryan: motion to allocate 169$ and 420 cents for guns and drugs (sippys sips and nummy nums) for this week’s event

Passed, been allocated

Ryan: motion to create a cantrip called -d M that causes chair to list all #defines (not seconded)

Isaac: motion to create a stranding rule to put on the trailer for hoagie in the background for the rest of the meeting

Gavin: short term friendship

Passed, we will now ha

Benner: motion to purple

Benner: motion to seafoam green

Ryan: motion to the color of Benner’s hat

Julia: motion to allocate 25$ to buy snacks for next week’s meeting (but the snacks must be edible chalk), or estrogen

Passed, been allocated

Nathan: motion

Benner: mo

RRAS

Daniel: booth builds, wednesday, saturday, and sunday, also have readme coming out this week, we are going to be cancelled unfortunately (it’s the passover issue)

Daniel: feel free to come to CTFWS, we will have pie

SCHMUCKS

Savi: support the KGB takeover of CMU student senate in CIT

Gavin: readme TV, look if you believe in something hard enough, and through the power of friendship and teamwork, look I’m just saying anything could happen

Isaac: clarification: ReadME jewish edition is only being written by Jewish people (and Benner)

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20250224

2025-08-11T22:54:10Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: went ice skating, was really sore, kevin kluznik taught me a physiotherapy exercise for lower back soreness Benner: oh go oh god oh god why why why o..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: went ice skating, was really sore, kevin kluznik taught me a physiotherapy exercise for lower back soreness

Benner: oh go oh god oh god why why why oh god oh god

NEW PEOPLE!!!

Alex, class of 2028 freshman, mechanical and biomedical engineering, live in donner dorm, he/him, from sunny los angeles, when I was maybe 12 I discovered that on command I can make my vision blurry, can voluntarily breathe

Abigail, class of 2028 freshman, majoring in Engineering and Robotics, from bridgewater, NJ, has 4 limbs

Teddy: make sharks explode in game, movie night, friday, MMA14, 7pm

Nathan: I went ice skating, fell twice, somehow fucked up right wrist, scraped knee, ice skate ripped up entire foot

Julia: I helped paint a shark and a laser

Ryan: spent too much time pondering horrors, not enough doing homework

Isaac: went ice skating, danced, learned a little bit about love, tucked friend into bed with help of two other friends, told him a good night story which was more of a riddle, food for thought you know, saw the sunrise, woke up at 4pm, missed exec meeting

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Nathan: sealand: got the picture frame for the deed we got months ago

Benner: the JUICE robot, looking up just shows me pictures of robots made of juice boxes

Ryan: impostor cmu buildings: there’s a porter hall somewhere, I forgot where

Luke: ah committee of silly little guys

Luke: committee of ad hoc gaslighters

Ryan: ah struct: you’re now a data type

Nathan: paper airplane: this paper airplane fucking sucks

Benner: good youtube: NEVER GIVE UP YOUR WAAAAAY

Teddy: booth: please come to booth builds

Isaac: mis good youtube: pricemaster, meowmix, I will open your box of darkness, man with long hands

Benner: speedrunner: clustertruck, category for a jumpless run, play the game all about jumping without jumping, 1 2hours 41mins, another 1hour 12 mins

Luke: ah benner has ruined my steam recommended: pirate yakuza

Ryan: solvents: hexane

Nathan: quora: is it ok to eat over 39 pounds of mulch a day?

Isaac: ah answers: yes

Teddy: corn subsidies: $4.83

Benner: hivemind: i have killed the president of the united mexico space mexico tequila your own name your own name tequila space mexico penis end report

Nathan: weird monopoly: 3 post office editions

Luke: ah I just peed my pants

Isaac: lingering curse: Luke’s got it now, as punishment for that committee

Benner: wikipedia: list of unusual units of measurement, including nipple (4 bits of information), bannana equivalent dose, microfortnight, double decker bus (describing the size of a sewer collapse), horse (horse racing length), hammer unit (valve)

Nathan: my quora digest recently has been around 80% italian cuisine

Ryan: ah infinite recursion: ah infinite recursion

Alex: terminate program:

Ryan: error

Teddy: I didn’t know we were still in old business:

Nathan: committee:

Ryan: purple:

OLD BUSINESS

Savi has thing, Ryan would like thing, not fault: sleeping through all my classes, is fault

from 3/25/24, 4/15/24, 8/26/24, 9/23/24, 11/4/24, 11/25/24, 12/2/24, 1/13/25, 1/20/25, 1/27/25, 2/3/25, 2/10/25, 2/17/25: “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Benner: motion to table for 1 week

Passed, been tabled

from 2/17/25: motion to create the I love old business committee purp: making julia say that she loves old business

Benner: I love old business

Luke: should have a stipulation that every monday at 5:30pm Julia has to say I love old business

Nathan: point of information: she said it: yipee

Passed, sold for 10$ to Julia, disbanded

from 2/17/25: motion to create the chaired the chaired uh motion to create the chair uh ah shit whats the word for it whats the word for group, club, chair organization committee, sorry whole lotta stress looking at your eyes aw man ever since yeah, I’m sorry. Motion to create the chair committee, my feelings towards you are completely platonic this is not in the description nor the title, to be tabled so the table that we have some chairs to go with the table that we already have

Nathan: motion to pass by acclamation

Julia: cantrip: reset (increasing my debt to the KGB by 1$)

Passed, sold for 8$ to Ryan, chaired by committee name

Teddy: motion to create spell: TLDR which must be directed at another member such that for 10 minutes that person cannot make statements longer than 10 words

Isaac: motion to amend that if you break the rule or die, it ends the effect (breaking the rule sets you to 0hp)

Final motion: motion to create spell: TLDR which must be directed at another member such that for 10 minutes that person cannot make statements longer than 10 words. if you break the 10 word rule or die, it ends the effect (breaking the rule sets you to 0hp)

Ryan: motion to create a cantrip shut the fuck up Luke such that we do a 3, 2, 1 count down and then say shut the fuck up Luke, and Luke loses 10hp

Passed

Luke: motion to consider the frog a member of KGB

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that the frog is a member of the general body of the KGB

Benner: motion to amend such that the frog is not considered a person unless he pays dues

Passed, been amended

Nathan: motion to salute Daniel for fucking it up (he didn’t say abstensions first)

Luke: fuck you fuck you (fuck you), fuck you! fuck you?

Aresh: motion to do 97.6 pts of damage

Isaac: motion to amend such that this applies to all amphibious resembling creatures (not humans)

Teddy: motion to amend such that in order to vote on motions the amphibious creature has to raise hand by its own volition

Alex: point of information: how do we consider that this changes if the creature is mechatronics powered but externally controlled

Teddy: still counts, if you make a robot frog you should get one vote

Been amended

Final motion: motion to create a standing rule such that the frog is a member of the general body of the KGB. the frog is not considered a person unless he pays dues. this applies to all amphibious resembling creatures (not humans). in order to vote on motions the amphibious creature has to raise hand by its own volition.

Passed

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that if you are in possession of the antimagical hand, you are antimagical

Ryan: we need to create more mechanisms by which the hand will change hands

Savi: if Ryan has hand in backpack is he in possession?

Passed

Ryan: motion to create the gazorching committee, “to gazorch”

Nathan: I cast mage hand.

Julia: motion to allocate 70$ for guns and drugs (sippy sips and nummy nums) for this week’s event

Ryan: amend to 69$ 420c

Passed, been allocated

Benner: motion to create the should I skip my class committee, need to do math homework, need to call friend at 9:30, do I skip my class, or do I do my homework in class, or do I just die

Alex: what is the class

Benner: the class is black italy, I get psychic damage from people being bad at analyzing writing, also I did the movie I had to watch, so

Merlin: is it mandatory attendance

Benner: yeah, but I technically still have 2 of my 3 skips

Benner: if you want me to skip pass it, if you want me to not skip fail it, I will take this into account

Tied, Daniel failed it

Ryan: motion to create a spell called handheld gaming where the two people holding the hands (must be distinct) have to play tic tac toe, taking no more than 1 minute, the person who loses must give the hand to someone who was not in possession of the hand

Nathan: motion to amend such that rock paper scissors instead of tic tac toe

Passed, been amended

Passed

Teddy: motion to create a cantrip called cactus is really tasty, that causes the user loses 5 hp

Passed

Ryan: motion to create cantrip called nooo don’t kill yourself aha you’re so sexy such that you can use it if someone is repeatedly taking damage using the previous standing rule, prevents them from taking damage for 1 minute

Passed

RRAS

Daniel: dues, booth, wednesday, saturday, sunday, discord and instagram

Teddy: movie night, Friday 7pm, MMA14, vote for voting, vote for movie, watch movie

Daniel: Readme printing tomorrow, coming out wednesday

SCHMUCKS

Savi: I forgot. motion to purple

Ryan: CMU democrats doing political career workshop in UC Wright at 7pm, show up and get a job

Nathan: Thursday at 8pm, come see CMU Philharmonic

Benner: Kiltie band concert was last week, if you didn’t see it then you’re a loser and lame, football players barked at us, it’s like a sign of respect.

Alex: tartan wind ensemble is having several performances in late march, one of them is at scotty con, will have video game medley of undertale, howls moving castle, touhou music

Teddy: the game for this booth will be on motion tracked footage of CMU, would be cool if there were extras to run around and look scared, plan is to film it during spring break, or alternatively at like 6am, please fill out when2meet to let me know when2meet

Benner: women’s basketball game saturday at 1pm

Teddy: if you’re looking for off campus housing let me know, I need a third roommate.

Benner: motion to the color that is equally seafoam green and purple

Nathan: opposite of anti-purple

Noah: seafoam green purple

Savi: 1 nm in the visible light spectrum

Alex: lucious egg custard

Ryan: motion to a dress that looks purple or seafoam green to different people

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20250217

2025-08-11T22:53:44Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: saturday night poached some eggs, promised friends not to lose sleep over pokemon sleep datamining Benner: might’ve just failed a midterm or I coul..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: saturday night poached some eggs, promised friends not to lose sleep over pokemon sleep datamining

Benner: might’ve just failed a midterm or I could’ve gotten anywhere from an F to a B, who can say how it went, as of yesterday at 10pm, I’m one of the local chairs for sigbovik, no vetting process

Teddy: did a lot of homework, event: skating in schenley rink, same time, 7:15pm at UC black chairs, if you signed up for last time and can’t come this time, tell one of us

Nathan: had a recital, went pretty well, pravda

Julia: visited friends in maryland, possible illegal gambling resturant

Ryan: slept through valentines, going to exec meetings for clubs

Isaac: danced, pretty hype, then felt real bad

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Gavin: national day: today is president’s day, so you can pick a president to think about

Ryan: mis quora: saw a funny quora post two weeks ago

Benner: mis national day: [redacted]

Danya: fun things to do: watching family guy funny moments while intoxicated

Nathan: monopoly: bookshelf monopoly

Isaac: mis. fun things to do: family guy beautiful moments while sober

Benner: benner missing schmucks: kiltie band concert this thursday at 7pm, I will be playing music and I like doing that, please come

Nathan: quora: can you go to rehab for dick or pussy addiction?

Aresh: animal fact: babies come from pelicans

Isaac: wikipedia: radathor (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radithor)

Teddy: corn subsidies: 4.97

Savi: ah bonfire: pennsylvania fire laws are stupid

Nathan: sealand: purchased picture frame

Danya: cooking: soy sauce+chunky peanut butter = really good sauce for noodles

Benner: wikipedia: 3 pages: wikipedia the beginning of wikipedia, wikipedia the other end of wikipedia, wikipedia the end of wikipedia

Danya: wikimedia commons: find the image called kittens reading, 2 cats sitting by book, not looking at the book

Benner: wikipedia: the donut of doom

Nathan: hivemind: hello I am dying of radiation sickness and the pain, I oh shit entire asshole burns real bad space mexico your own name your own name your own name end report not a cult real end report

Benner: youtube: how to make a circle the wrong way by jake walker

Danya: fun things to do: riding your bike with a little snow on the ground, can drift

Aresh: mis youtube: how many times can you piss in heavy rain (the video game)

Benner: motion to create the broken record committee

Teddy: the motion to create the broken record committee: motion to create the broken record committee

Isaac: trojan horse: motion to create the broken record committee

Noah: horrible asteroid impact committee: 2.6%

Benner: benner has to leave: Bye!

OLD BUSINESS

Nathan has thing, Savi wants thing, not fault: how cold it is, is fault: booking of slice vans

from 3/25/24, 4/15/24, 8/26/24, 9/23/24, 11/4/24, 11/25/24, 12/2/24, 1/13/25, 1/20/25, 1/27/25, 2/3/25, 2/10/25,

“delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Nathan: motion to table for 1 week

Gavin: yeah.

Nathan: I really want to do the thing

Passed, tabled for 1 week

NEW BUSINESS

Teddy: motion to create the I love old business committee purp: making julia say that she loves old business

Aresh: how to accomplish goal

Teddy: ideally have to table it

Nathan: motion to table for 1 week

Passed

Teddy: motion to create a standing rule such that cantrips now exist, such that cantrips are spells that do not require you to be magical

Nathan: this sounds scary

Ryan: motion to amend such that you can only use one cantrip per GBM (friendly been changed)

Gavin: you can take a long rest by lying on the ground in the middle of GBM for 10 mins to restore your cantrips (friendly, been changed)

motion to create a standing rule such that cantrips now exist, such that cantrips are spells that do not require you to be magical.you can only use one cantrip per GBM . you can take a long rest by lying on the ground in the middle of GBM for 10 mins to restore your cantrips

Passed

Nathan: motion to create the magic committee, purp: report on the state of magic, sold for 9$ to Nathan, chaired by the arch mage

Nathan: motion to make a standing rule such that the magic committee is magical

Aresh: what does a committee being magical mean

Nathan: nothing

Isaac: motion to create the chaired the chaired uh motion to create the chair uh ah shit whats the word for it whats the word for group, club, chair organization committee, sorry whole lotta stress looking at your eyes aw man ever since yeah, I’m sorry. Motion to create the chair committee, my feelings towards you are completely platonic this is not in the description nor the title, to be tabled so the table that we have some chairs to go with the table that we already have

Ryan: motion to amend such that your feelings for daniel are not platonic (unfriendly)

Nathan: motion to table for 1 day 1 hour 1 minute 1 second 1 milliseconds

Its a good idea

Passed, been tabled

Julia: motion to create a standing rule such that if we table a motion to table a motion, in old business the next week, we untable a motion to table that motion. And the original motion (under the tabling) becomes magical

Passed, been stood

Gavin: motion to create the applause committee purp: [clapping] or [snapping]

[various people raise their hands to clap, woo, and give thumbs up as amendments?]

Passed, sold to Gavin for 1 million dollars (4$) chaired by whichever of the hands is smaller (the antimagical hand)

Aresh: motion to #define buzz as one more than the current bid (1$ higher than the last bid that was called out) as long as the current bid is both a multiple of 5 and not a multiple of 3

Passed, been stood

Ryan: motion to #define fizzbuzz as one more than the current bid (1$ higher than the last bid that was called out) as long as the current bid is both a multiple of 5 and a multiple of 3

Isaac: neanderthal committee: scratches head

Passed

Ryan: motion to create the fizz buzz committee to fizz buzz

Aresh: 1

Gavin: 2

Nathan: more money

Passed, sold for fizzbuzz (15$) to ryan, chaired by fish fish stackexchange

Teddy: motion to create a cantrip, reset that moves the bid down to 0$ (does not mean that the highest bidder can get the committee for 0$ just that it resets bidding)

Julia: motion to amend such that to use this cantrip you have to give 1$ to the KGB (costs 1$ like an auction) (friendly, been changed)

Passed, been stood

Isaac: motion to create the standing rule such that if you anticlap (smack the backs of your hands together) you lose 1 hp per anticlap

Ryan: inuring to the personal despair of members including isaac committee approves

Teddy: motion to uh

Noah: motion to oh

Nathan: point of information do we need to allocate money

Ryan: motion to allocate 206$ to the exec discretionary fund for the schating at schenley

Isaac: motion to pass by acclamation

Passed

Ryan: magenta

Ryan: magenta and violet mixture

SCHMUCKS

Teddy: need someone who can animate in 3D software, may or may not pivot to organize filming

Ryan: if you’re interested in cs, come to eshaan’s esolang stuco wean 5302 7pm on mondays

Nathan: motion to go go go go run away from the sharknado

Gavin: motion to shark purple

Ryan: motion to the color of the seafoam if the sea were purple

Nathan: motion to not-normal purple

Savi: motion to purple on screen in baker a53

Noah: first purple

Teddy: green-purple

Ryan: most fucked up purple you can think of

Ryan: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20250210

2025-08-11T22:53:21Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: got chipotle in person Benner: gave so many tours to so many people, officially a junior staffwriter at the tartan Benner^Teddy: I have a scooter ya..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: got chipotle in person

Benner: gave so many tours to so many people, officially a junior staffwriter at the tartan

Benner^Teddy: I have a scooter yay!!! we have an event: presentation night!!!

Nathan: had fun at the readme social,

Julia: learned very obvious lesson of don’t drink caffeine at night

Ryan: stayed up 48hours straight for tartan hacks

Isaac: danced, got raptured, threw up, danced some more

COMMITTTEE REPORTS

Nathan: paper airplane committee: the hammer

Benner: corn subsidies: 4.92, corn prices are crazy right now

Claire: height of benner: 5’10”

Savi: mis quora: what are some of the bad words in tamil?

Benner: wikipedia:submitted by claire: wikimedia commons: gif for how you’re supposed to fold the ohio flag

Nathan: quora: how badly does your child need to misbehave for you to intentionally feed them a poop sausage?

Benner: speedrunning: rocketleague: slowest goal

Aresh: animla facts: [monkey noises]

Benner: hivemind: I want to kill the prime minister of the united kingdom world space mexico pretty space mexico tequila your own name your own name your own name

Ryan: solvents: heaviest water

Isaac: point of information: wait no it was this was important aw man I’m sorry

Benner: youtube: sushi (no capitals)

Claire: fake youtube: sushi capitals

Benner: KGWiki: I added spellbook and magic hands, shoutout to Kevin for adding to wiki even after his untimely demise

Isaac: the lingering curse committee would like to bestow itself upon noah (for sharing the same name as my ex)

Noah: cmon

Nathan: weird monopoly: woot!opoly, I’m struggling to understand what the theme is, tokens include woot!monkey, woot!logo, bag of crap

Ryan: pouring kool aid in water supply: seen allegheny, one step closer

Noah: planetary defense: meteor

Claire: fake broken record committee: doesn’t want to report anything

Noah: the broken record the br the b

Benner: hissing

OLD BUSINESS

Ryan has the thing, nathan wants thing, not fault:any mistakes he makes during the recital, is fault: every other mistake in anyone else’s presentation

from 3/25/24, 4/15/24, 8/26/24, 9/23/24, 11/4/24, 11/25/24, 12/2/24, 1/13/25, 1/20/25, 1/27/25, 2/3/25: “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Nathan: motion to table for 1 week

Nathan: I need everyone’s support in this, if no one raises their hand we can table the motion

Passed, been tabled for 1 week

from 2/3/25: motion to create a standing rule creating a new spell “culinary sabotage” when you identify an instance of any food item that food item becomes inedible, this must be used on bowl food

Ryan: motion to amend such that the bowl food requirement is deleted

Failed, not amended

Passed

Ryan: motion to create the I was gonna create a committee but I don’t remember what its called, “I’ll remember the original one eventually”

Benner: summon squid companion

Daniel: cannons in salmon run only use one state of flight instead of 3

Passed, sold for 22$ to Claire, chaired by Benner

Nathan: motion to amend standing rule 71 such that in order to get high fived with the magical hand and become magical someone else must be holding the hand (can’t high five yourself)

Passed

Ryan: motion to allocate 69$ and 420 cents to this week’s event for sippy sips and nummy nums

Passed, been allocated

Benner: motion to create the mayo clinic committee “to amass more power and build more parking lots”

Savi: amend mayo clinic to mustard clinic (not friendly, not amended)

Claire: motion to amend to install a facist dictator in rochester minnesota

Passed, been created, sold for 10$ to Claire, chaired by “myself”

Nathan: motion to #define “2 million” to “seven”

Ryan: giving this 1 million big booms

Passed, been stood

Julia: motion #define “guns and drugs” to “sippy sips and nummy nums”

Passed, been stood

Ryan: motion to allocate 2 million [7] more dollars for guns and drugs [sippy sips and nummy nums] for this weeks event

Passed, been allocate

Benner: national day: national clean out your computer day, delete pesky windows 32

Ryan: pronoun swap on myself, I’m now him/he

Noah: motion to nap time

Benner: floor is lava: the floor is now lava

Ryan: motion to allocate 100$ to the exec discretionary fund

Passed, been allocated

Nathan: motion to make a standing rule such that if you are holding the magic hand and are magical, you can cast two spells back to back

Ryan: motion to create a standing rule such that you can shout he/she/they are/is a witch and for 1 minute that person cannot cast spells or they die

passed, we now have witch trials

Isaac: short term friendship on daniel.

Ryan: he’s a witch

Isaac: friend destroyer daniel

Benner: mob justice

Passed, daniel ejected

Benner: laptop destroyer daniel

Ryan: motion to purple with a little bit of green mixed into it

Nathan: motion to amend standing rule 80 such that you can only accuse someone of witchcraft if you have the antimagical hand

Passed, been stood

Ryan: motion to change the voting system [unseconded]

Claire: motion to create the claire color committee purp: “I say a color”

Aresh: how could you expect to do that when clear means transparent

Nathan: summon animal companion

Daniel: barrel eyed fish have top of head transparent

Passed, sold for 13$ double or nothing to Ryan (0$)

Aresh: motion to #define fizz as one more than the current bid (1$ higher than the last bid that was called out) as long as the current bid is both a multiple of 3 and not a multiple of 5

Julia: how does this deal with cents

Aresh: only works if last bid is integer

Passed

RRAS

Benner: presentation night, go to slides go, some really bad and some really good templates, go to CFA kresge theater at 7 to see Nathan’s presentation

Nathan: probably show up a bit before that

Daniel: Booth: saturdays and wednesdays

Daniel: Readme this wednesday, looking for people to join nom com, message Julia if you’re interested

SCHMUCKS

Benner:

Savi: I need like 2 more CIT people to sign student senate

Benner: I need a roommate please please please please please if you know someone who is cool and wants to live in fairfax, roommate left me for a chi o, would like to stay in fairfax

Nathan: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20250203

2025-08-11T22:53:00Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: slept for 2 days Benner: did homework by having people play don’t hit a bird with a baseball, Randy Johnson RPG Teddy: made a robot, also did much..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: slept for 2 days

Benner: did homework by having people play don’t hit a bird with a baseball, Randy Johnson RPG

Teddy: made a robot, also did much better at clocktower than usual, event: ice skating at schenley rink!, we’ll be meeting by UC black chairs at 7:15 on Saturday, we will be reimbursing tickets/skate rentals, if you want to go, please fill out the form

Nathan: had fun, played board games, submit 2 pravda

Julia: hofbrahaus, pretzels

Ryan: met with Gina Casalegno, she said I’m her favorite student

Nathan^Isaac: somehow slept for 14 hours straight, from 2am-4pm, the lingering curse premptively got me and now I’m sick

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: corn subsidies: 4.07

Nathan: sealand: by royal proclamation: let it be known that from this day hence, the body of water heretofore recognized as the North Sea is officially renamed the Gulf of Sealand. All maps, charts, and maritime references shall be updated posthaste to reflect the Principality’s sovereign decree.

Ryan: solvents: pepsi

Benner: operation nifty package: us military was trying to get guy in panama, can’t just storm a church with soldiers, they went around the church and he wouldn’t leave so they started playing disturbing chicken noises, fish, fish, and never gonna give you up by rick astley

Nathan: weird monopoly: deluxe monopoly: 300$, tokens are gilded in 24 carat gold

Gavin: good news: mitch mcconnell not dead, but soon

Aresh: animal facts: longest animal might have been siphonophore in Australia

Nathan: quora: are there female detectives in real life?

Nathan: hivemind: that we are going to die one day soon where what we will eat report, end space mexico tequila your own name your own name your own name they end report

Teddy: corn subsidies: 4.88

Benner: coughs

Nathan: quora: is it rude to refuse my college roommate’s request to shower with him?

Benner: speedrunning: splat % sonic tears 2022, have to get sonic to crash into moon at end of game by failing quicktime event

Gavin: national day: 6 years ago today, the day the music died

OLD BUSINESS

Aresh has thing, Gavin wants thing, not fault: anything the trump administration does, is fault: everything elon musk do

From: 3/25/24, 4/15/24, 8/26/24, 9/23/24, 11/4/24, 11/25/24, 12/2/24, 1/13/25, 1/20/25, 1/27/25, “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Benner: motion to table for a fortnight

Teddy: motion to amend to 1.00001 weeks

Benner: amending it to 0.4 fortnights.

Gavin: motion to amend for 6<n<8

Savi: motion to amend to 0.48 fortnights (friendly, been changed)

Julia: motion to amend to 3 weeks

Teddy: motion to amend to 1 second

Been tabled for 0.48 fortnights

NEW BUSINESS

Benner: mis national day: elmo’s birthday, and national sicky day

Gavin: that’s my bad

Gavin: motion to create a standing rule such that with written permission and a signature you can be a proxy vote for another person

Benner: how do you

Julia: motion to amend such that the chair must inspect the signature (unfriendly)

Nathan: motion to amend such that you can use the signature once

Julia: raise the signature and your hand to use in one vote (one per meeting) (friendly, been changed)

Teddy: and make bird noise (friendly, been changed)

Final motion: motion to create a standing rule such that with written permission and a signature you can be a proxy vote for another person, you can use each person’s signature on one vote per meeting, to use it you must raise your hand, and additionally raise the signature in your other hand and make a bird noise

Passed, been stood

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that this hand (right fake hand ryan brought in) is magical

Teddy: amend such that when the chair takes remaining hands after the question has been called, he also takes this hand

passed, been stood

Gavin: motion to create a standing rule creating a new spell “culinary sabotage” when you identify an instance of any food item that food item becomes inedible, this must be used on bowl food

Ryan: what is bowl food?

Gavin: it has to be bowl food

Noah: motion to purple

Benner: motion to seafoam green

Ryan: motion to table for one week

Noah: motion to amend to 70 years (unfriendly)

Gavin: pass by acclamation (not passed by acclamation)

Benner: motion to fail by acclamation (not failed by acclamation)

Passed, been tabled for 1 week

Ryan: motion to create the nevermind committee “changing my mind” (unseconded failed)

Benner: requesting a high five from the chair

Nathan: requesting a high five from the magical hand

Daniel: its’ not doing anything

Benner: motion to create a standing rule such that if you are high fived by the magical hand you become magical for 1 minute

Passed, been stood

Ryan: motion to create the chirality committee, “to understand that there is a left and a right committee”

Gavin: amend the purpose to find out if we’re living in the universe or the mirror universe

Passed, sold for 1$ double or nothing to Ryan [actually 2$], chaired by lenin (specifically while he’s in the air)

Benner: I was watching my friend on discord type for a solid 5 minutes he’s been asking me a lot of questions, gonna read it: which would you rather? for 10 years you have to live with 10 gnomes who don’t speak english just make silly noises….fish fish fish [insane hypothetical] or listen to first class by jack harlow once

Ryan: part of the review for the hands: however, keep in mind that these are MALE hands

Nathan: motion to create the spell titled summon mage hand, once cast will force whoever is holding the magical hand to give it to you

Julia: motion to amend the name to mage hand (friendly, been changed)

Passed

Ryan: motion to create a standing rule such that you can do this to mini squid but it’s the same as regular squid

Gavin: motion to create a standing rule such that the title of this week’s event to “schating at schenley”

Passed, been stood

nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that the left fake hand is antimagical

Passed

Benner: motion to create a standing rule such that if the chair flips the coin and catches it sideways the price is doubled and then the original price is subtracted

Ryan: motion to the color you get if you mix human and spider blood

Daniel: out of order

Noah: motion to more purple than you can comprehend

Nathan: I am now uploading a copy of the spell list to pravda channel

Benner: motion to create the I want to kill daniel committee “so I can become magical and kill daniel”

A million [4]$ double or nothing to Nathan, sold to Nathan for 8$

Benner: I cast invoke mob justice

Passed, Daniel is at 0HP

RRAS

Event: Schating at Schenley

Booth: Wednesday at some time (either 5 or 6), saturday at 1pm

Readme

Daniel: looking for people to join nom com, people who run elections for KGB, need 4 people, requirements are that you are not going to be running for anything

Gavin: can I be on nom com

Daniel: message Julia if you would like to be on the nominating committee

SCHMUCKS

Benner: I need a roommate, living in fairfax

Nathan: come see my recital Saturday, Feb 15th at 7pm

Benner: my dog george does this thing where he licks spot on leg until it makes a sore, started doing it again and to preemptively stop it they put him in a cone, he looks really funny

Benner: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes

2025-08-11T22:52:42Z

Jholz: /* 2024-2025 */

Minutes20250127

2025-08-11T22:51:28Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: toasted katsu for lunch Benner: been writing lots of russian cursive, probably better than english person New Person!! andre, he/him, pittsburgh, he..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: toasted katsu for lunch

Benner: been writing lots of russian cursive, probably better than english person

New Person!! andre, he/him, pittsburgh, here on independent study, major in math, pursuing music, 20 years old

Teddy: fixed scooter, GBGC!

Nathan: caught up on hw and practiced a lot

Julia: ate cheese, played board games

Ryan: fish fish knife [redacted]

Isaac: made farnam jahanian mpreg, look out for them, acted so normal at readme social, mechanics 3D is asking me to do bullshit kinda

OLD BUSINESS

Savi has the thing (she got it off of Eshaan, upending of power balance), aresh wants thing, not fault: not getting into the MSML at CMU, is

from 3/25/24, 4/15/24, 8/26/24, 9/23/24, 11/4/24, 11/25/24, 12/2/24, 1/13/25, 1/20/25 “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Nathan: motion to table for 1 week

Aresh: motion to fail by acclamation

Benner: motion to pass

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: wikipedia: les ux, known as the only good thing french people have done, urban experiment, they restored the pantheon clock, built theater in the catacombs, when they went to investigate theater, it disappeared

Gavin: NCT-127 (kpop supergroup with subgroups) day, today is January 27th, probably a lot of really annoying people really happy on twitter

Benner: first I have a question: have I already talked about chinese fusion metroid category extension,speedrunning: metroid fusion category, any % of game, has to be the chinese globalization

Aresh: animal facts: that’s a pretty weird looking dog

Nathan: quora: I’m 12 and want to start my own mafia gang how should I start

Gavin: good news: AI bubble burst

Benner: ah: you need to watch this movie: you have to watch love on delivery

Teddy: corn subsidies: 4.82$

Nathan: paper airplane: paper airplane: called the harrier and flies like this [airplane flies in a circuitous circle and hits daniel]

Isaac: point of information: daniel: I hope you count the votes correctly now

Julia: ah cursed food: soup flavored cough drops

Issac: mis ah cursed food: boston cream bomb was sold at scotties market, offhandedly noted it was an unfortunate name, they no longer sell it

Benner: yakuza: have broken streak of playing yakuza for at least a 18 or 20 day run

Nathan: sealand: a citizen of sealand once climbed mt. everest and put flag on top

Gavin: national day: international holocaust day that day.

Benner: why would you put it after the kpop day. I think you need to reevaluate your priorities regarding national day importance

Nathan: weird monopoly editions, wine-opoly, pieces=wine bottle, corks, cheese grapes, carafe, get for your mom?

NEW BUSINESS

Gavin: motion to create the bowl food research committee “to better understand and investigate the wide world of bowl food. Daniel is not allowed to have any input on what is bowl food.”

Savi: can I please get a TLDR on bowl food

Gavin: Daniel comes into cluster, says “I don’t think bowl food”. Julia said “what is bowl food”?

Gavin: Daniel, why is poke bowl not bowl food?

Daniel: poke bowl is more similar to donburi

Ryan: what if I sit in a bowl and eat food

Benner: call to question, I can’t do this anymore

Passed, been created, sold for double or nothing 50$ to Ryan [actually 0$]

Nathan: motion to allocate 20$ to finally buy picture frame for our land on sealand

Gavin: how? is that just publicly available

Claire: does this include air rights? ground rights? I hear the north sea is famous for its oil

Benner: motion to pass by acclamation

Passed, been allocated

Julia: motion to amend the lingering curse standing rule such that if the chair of the lingering curse committee is absent at the beginning of the meeting, isaac becomes the chair of the lingering curse committee at the beginning of the meeting.

Passed, been stood

Benner: motion to allocate 69$ and 420 cents for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Passed, been allocated

Nathan: motion to make a standing rule such that if a motion passes unanimously with every member of the general body voting in favor of that motion, it becomes magical

Benner: summon animal companion

Daniel: saw a woodpecker, pretty sure it’s a downy something wood pecker

Aresh: motion to stand up the fuck the rules standing rule (you can make a motion to fuck the rules if it passes, the rules are disbanded for 1 minute and you can just talk)

Benner: floor is now lava

Passed

Isaac: motion to you know there’s this really cool movie they made, what was the name of the actor you know the actor that has the hair, no that one doesn’t have, and he was like you know you feel me [the least well defined motion daniel’s ever heard]

Teddy: motion to create standing rule such that you can a motion to ban someone from the meeting (they’re not allowed to come to meeting until they’re no longer dead), but only if they are dead already,you can ban even people not in the meeting, if they’re dead

Failed

Benner: motion to create a spell called laptop destroyer, if you cast it the target must close their laptop for at least 5 seconds

Ryan: motion to amend such that the person who is cast on can say no u if it’s really critical they don’t close it (ex: running a server)

Isaac: motion to amend such that the victim of the spell if they don’t have a laptop open must open their laptop and close it, or close someone else’s laptop if they consent

Final” motion to create a spell called laptop destroyer, if you cast it the target must close their laptop for at least 5 seconds.The person who is cast on can say no u if it’s really critical they don’t close it (ex: running a server) the victim of the spell if they don’t have a laptop open must open their laptop and close it, or close someone else’s laptop if they consent

passed

Nathan: motion to amend magical motion standing rule such that it’s all members of the general body who are present except the chair

Passed, been stood

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: Dues, booth

Teddy: GBGC

Daniel: thinking of doing ice skating in ~2 weeks and would like to know if you’re interested in doing that, form is up in RRAs

Daniel: Readme coming out Wednesday, printing tomorrow 6pm, wean 5 printers

SCHMUCKS

Nathan: Feb 15th, have recital, 7pm, Kresge theater in CFA, can go to presentation night right afterwards

Benner: roommate moved out, next year I will need a new roommate, if you’re living on campus next year and are cool, be my roommate, I don’t want to

Nathan: purple

Benner: seafoam green

Gavin: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20250120

2025-08-11T22:51:06Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: played a lot of magic, forgot other things (this report brought to you by Nathan–thanks) Benner:evangelion Isaac^Teddy: name was teddy throughout..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: played a lot of magic, forgot other things (this report brought to you by Nathan–thanks)

Benner:evangelion

Isaac^Teddy: name was teddy throughout the week, was really good at magic the gathering and knew how to play it. event! Kontent: posters, we make em when, saturday 7pm, where, 5201, why, get silly with it

Nathan: watched the brutalist, was really good, today made a pecan pie, desperately needed a singular egg, called like 5 people

Julia: my hair froze, was late to a lot of things, fucked up my sleep schedule

Ryan: has a list of 1200 things at CMU gonna make people rank them so we can see what the best thing is, definitely didn’t do anything else

Isaac: played magic the gathering with a collection of people I do not know who was there and who wasn’t went to sleep at 5 last night watching youtube, can’t remember what watched

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: wikipedia: random deletion

Gavin: good news: for 12 hours over the weekend americans forced to interact with chinese people, I could not find any overt racism

Savi: point of info: methods used to find the racism

Gavin: scrolling, ctrl-fing for various terms

Nathan: quora: when is man going to learn that 666 is not the number of satan

Benner: speedrunning: mario kart ds all trees run, where you hit all trees, 7:13 world record from 9 days ago

Nathan: quora: can my girlfriend secretly be a demon in genes?

Aresh: animal facts: does not have a fact for today, calls upon general body

Nathan: weird monopoly: pitt-opoly

Isaac: ah nichole hubers committee: have received an audio recording

Gavin: national day: national cheese lovers day

Gavin: pitt-opoly 4.3 on board game geek

Benner: am i gay committtee: get through like 80% of the appointment, then she asks me if I’m dating anyone and she goes why? and then I’m like I don’t know, and then she goes are you still questioning your sexuality (note: told her I was gay, not questioning my sexuality) say I think I’ve got it figured out, she asks how would you describe that? I say gay/lesbian. She says do you want me to put that in your file. maybe she won’t ask next time because she wrote it down.

Gavin: mis animal facts: wallabees eat a lot of poppies and get high as fuck off of opium

OLD BUSINESS

Eshaan has the thing (said he would be back, is not back), gavin wants spirit of thing, not fault: Donald Trump’s inauguration, is fault: weather for next however long its going to be cold for.

From 3/25/24, 4/15/24, 8/26/24, 9/23/24, 11/4/24, 11/25/24, 12/2/24, 1/13/25: “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Noah: motion to table for 1 week

Passed, been tabled

Benner: hand is comfortable

Isaac: motion to recall who has the lingering curse

Nathan: motion to create Ryan’s best thing committee “to have Ryan report on the best thing at CMU”

Gavin: mechanics

Ryan: going to have you pick between two things, like the tom scott video

passed, sold to Ryan for 3$, chaired by “the best thing at cmu”

Benner: motion to create a standing rule such that you can motion to kill daniel, such that if the vote passes by majority, daniel is immediately reduced to 0 hp and he dies

Nathan: I cast animal companion

Daniel: sometimes…birds. no I had something else but i forgot it. sometimes birds will enter a building and be stuck in that building

Isaac: what if there’s someone else named daniel

Benner: have to say motion to kill daniels, but then it kills all daniels

Daniel: what if multiple people named daniel, and someone named daniels

Benner: they all die

Noah: motion to pass by acclamation

Passed

Ryan: motion to kill Daniel

passed, Daniel is killed

[Daniel sits on the floor]

[Daniel stands back up]

Daniel: woooo

Noah: motion to kill Daniel again

Passed, wooooo

Benner: motion to create a standing rule such that you can motion to revive daniel, if seconded it goes immediately into a vote, if majority vote yes Daniel is restored to 100 hitpoints, and Daniel will no longer be dead

Passed

Isaac: Hey Daniel, you ok being dead and all

Ryan: Daniel State machine committee “to represent whether daniel is dead alive or some other state as a formal model of computing”

Passed, sold for 1$ to ryan, chaired by “Alan Turing’s mom”

[Noah pulls out a bottle of soy sauce from his pocket and takes a sip during the auction]

Nathan: motion to amend standing rule 61 and 62 are actually spells such that you can cast the kill daniel spell or revive daniel spell it will kill Daniel or revive him (no longer requiring a vote)

Julia: motion to amend name of kill daniel spell to “invoke mob justice”

Nathan: amend revive daniel to “restore tyrant”

Final standing rule: motion to amend standing rule 61 and 62 are actually spells such that there are instead two new spells “invoke mob justice” which reduces daniel to 0hp (still requiring a vote), and “restore tyrant” which brings daniel to 100hp and makes him no longer dead (no vote)

Benner: motion to create the youtube committee with purpose “share good youtube videos because youtube is bad now”

Passed, sold for 6$ to Benner, chaired by Neal Mohan

REAL & RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: We r kgb, pay dues, go to booth builds

Daniel: Kontent, saturday, 7pm, wean 5201, the mac computer lab, make fun posters

Daniel: readme pitch meeting saturday at 5pm, read readme, tabling at the fair in wiegand gym, need people to table, will put the link in rras after meeting

SCHMUCKS

Benner: I’m getting close to the end of Yakuza 0

Savi: you should go look at the fence

Nathan: submit to pravda

Gavin: I move to this shade of purple [pointing at red]

Benner: you should come to russian tea on thursdays 4-5 or 4:30-5:30 you get snacks or tea and then there can be someone who knows less russian there

Nathan: motion to the color of that bag of chips

Ryan: motion to the color of the mahjong bag

Gavin: motion to this shade of orange [pointing at purple]

Ryan: motion to a mix of four parts red and five parts green

Nathan: motion to em radiation with a wavelength of 400 nanometers

Benner: motion to: morse code (purportedly purple, actually seafoam green)

Ryan: HSL 270 degrees 0% saturation 0% lightness

Ryan: motion to HSL 270 degrees 1% saturdation, 1% lightness

Noah: motion to grey

Nathan: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20250113

2025-08-11T22:50:46Z

Jholz: Created page with "1/13/25 KGB MEETING OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: went home, killed tank, was late today because assured that meeting would not go over and it did Benner: got quite a lot of lego..."

1/13/25 KGB MEETING

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: went home, killed tank, was late today because assured that meeting would not go over and it did

Benner: got quite a lot of legos, including chinese new year set with the scroll, the persimmon, and the little gold things

NEW PEOPLE!!!!

Danya (lying): elizabeth, sophomore, anthropology, edison, NJ

Eshaan: Eshaan, short for Eshaan kill yourself, ECE, he/him, not planning to graduate, bumfuckville nowhere, said wooo when came in the door, confused when got attention

Luke (extremely squeaky lost voice): he’s luke

Ryan: I’m luke, he/him, 2028, ECE, minneapolis, cannot talk because of fortnight

Mark: second year music bcsa tech and cs, pleasanton california, slept like 8 hours last night, still feeling bad right now

Teddy: started work on the booth game, if you want to help give me a discord DM, event: potluck in the porter, A18B, on Saturday, events Saturday until further notice

Nathan: watched every sharknado film so you don’t have to, ranking: 5 global swarming =best (infinity war ripped them off), 3 oh hell no=really funny they go to space, 6 the last sharknado = they go back in time, 1, 2, 4 the fourth awakens=sucks, boring

Julia: went to ikea, may have to go to maryland to assemble furniture

Ryan: cat recognized me

Isaac: watched too much david lynch, didn’t know how freaky that guy was, had to pause halfway through blue velvet when guy pulled out a gas mask and started calling himself baby, pretty good movie except for that one scene

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: wikipedia: anonymous person who in 2005 every couple of months would change all between to betwixt on the page for fistula for a long time

Nathan: quora: is it unethical to go outside if I’m a very ugly person

Isaac: mis. wikipedia: The three grand soups of the world is a common term in Japan referring to three types of soup thought to be the best in the world.

Ryan: impostor cmu buildings: house in iowa

Eshaan: chess move: E4

Aresh: thank you for subscribing to animal facts, “Man is the only animal whose desires increase as they are fed”

Noah: chess moves: C5

Nathan: monopoly: XXXopoly, railroads=red light districts around the world

Ryan: solvents: acetone

Benner: kgwiki: was gonna do a bunch of stuff to the wiki over break, message me if you want to add to the wiki, bennerr on discord

Luke: me

Eshaan: chess moves: C6

Isaac: ah the largest collection of silly wizard names ever: under evil female: cinder spire

Nathan: quora: why doesn’t calculus 9 exist (Nathan gets emails from quora which are mostly related to calculus)

Aresh: quora response: calculus 9 is measurement and integration

Eshaan: apologetic chess: D3

Isaac: ah news with nicole hubers: incomprehensible words? from KGB spam email

Noah: ah chess: knight C6

Luke: pronoun stealing: I just took your pronouns

Gavin: day committee: today is korean american days

Benner: please get to new business committee

OLD BUSINESS

Benner has thing, Eshaan wants thing, not fault: 9/11, is fault: all other tradgedies

from 3/25/24, 4/15/24, 8/26/24, 9/23/24, 11/4/24, 11/25/24, 12/2/24, “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Noah: motion to table for 1 week

Passed, been tabled

NEW BUSINESS

Benner: motion to create the am I still gay committee purp: “I take ADHD meds which are a controlled substance, once a semester have to go to cmu doctor, every time I go she asks me if I’m addicted, but also, asks me if I’m still gay every time. She’s not even homophobic about it, have an appointment for friday, taking bets on if she asks me if I’m still gay.”

Luke: if you were a worm would you still be gay

Benner: If I were a worm I wouldn’t know what being gay is

Noah: point of information: if your spirit goes into the body of the worm

Gavin: pass by acclamation

Ryan: wikipedia: list of animals with homosexual behavior: gut worms

Passed, been created, sold to Teddy for 32$, chaired by the doctor, I guess, I don’t know

Ryan: motion to create the I didn’t think of a name I just wanted to donate money

Julia: motion to fail by acclamation (come up with a better joke)

Benner: motion to create the yakuza committee “I am going to finish every yakuza game, it’s become my life purpose. preferably before the new one comes out will report on my completion of the games and/or my thoughts on them”

Eshaan: what if you fail

Benner: you can kill me

Gavin: completion of main storyline or full completion?

Danya: what inspired you, was it Jacob Geller

Benner: actually wasn’t, think they were good for a while, they were on sale over the winter steam sale

Ryan: point of information: if the deadline for completion is unspecified, can only fail if you die, then can’t be killed

Benner: in 20 years, if I have not completed all the currently existing yakuza games, you

Luke: do the yakuza games change your feelings on whether or not you’re still gay?

Benner: have to complete them and see

Passed, sold for a million dollars (4$) to Benner, chaired by, kiryu yakuza

Nathan: motion to create the kill benner committee “kill benner”

Nathan: motion to table for 20 years

Luke: point of information: can we put a tracker tag on benner

Eshaan: can let people decline though

Passed, been tabled for 20 years

Ryan: motion to #define hehehe to if the previous bid was nyeh heh heh I want to raise the bid by 1, otherwise I want people to call me mean things

A discussion of how this works

Nathan: motion to table for 1 week so we can think about it

Passed, been tabled

Benner: motion to allocate 10$ to Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund, to be spent under the condition that he returns to campus

passed, been allocated

Gavin: motion to create a new spell called neptune’s curse such that everyone else must speak like they are under water until another spell is passed

Nathan: it’s too slow to cast a spell

Benner: it’s actually pretty easy to stop if you have bronchitis

Nathan: motion to amend such that it lasts 30 seconds, friendly been changed

Isaac: motion to amend such that if 30 seconds pass or fake death

final motion:

motion to create a new spell called neptune’s curse such that everyone else must speak like they are under water until 30 seconds have passed, or fake death via drowning

Luke: motion to create the [inaudible] committee “stick fork in toaster spark spark boom boom ”

Failed

Isaac: motion to recall who had the lingering curse last

Nathan: motion to create a spell called the pronoun swap spell, once you cast the spell you swap pronouns with them

passed

Gavin: move to create a standing rule such that no one is allowed to respond to luke until his voice returns to normal, stern glare ok

passed

Nathan: cast neptunes curse

Eshaan: motion to create a standing rule such that ifndef, only defines if has not been defined,

Noah: motion to go back in time and kill dennis ritchie

Daniel: I killed it by executive fiat

Ryan: motion to create the audible committee (unseconded)

RRAS

Teddy: event: potluck

Daniel: join at cmukgb.org/discord

Daniel: readme happening wednesday

Kevin: Printing folding and distribution Tuesday at 6pm, meeting in cluster

Daniel: wednesday 6pm at the KAGE at cmukgb.org/kage to see where, if you want to learn how to use power tools and chop wood with it come on wednesday.

Luke: can show up for half of it

SCHMUCKS

Luke: please stop ignoring me I’m special

Benner: if you or anyone you know is in the RPG writing class, please drop it, can’t declare a game design minor without it, 8th on the waitlist

Aresh: pregame the potluck in the porter, cyert hall, can run for computer club office, even if you don’t know what it is

Teddy: making a 3D game for booth in Unity, will probably need more than 1 person, if you know about unity or blendr modelling, dm me

Luke: january 6th half birthday, declaring today is birthday

Benner: seafoam green

Gavin: really purple

Ryan: the color of blueberries according to people who think there is no fruit

Noah: antipurple

Benner: the point on the color wheel directly in between seafoam green and purple

Kevin: not quite purple

Ryan: did you know you can just say any thing and put purple at the end and it becomes purple purple

Teddy: definitely not purple

Benner: purple(?)

Aresh: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20241209

2025-08-11T22:50:28Z

Jholz: Created page with "GENERAL BODY MANIFESTATION (special Kage edition) Benner: did things, not a lot of work, ate hotpot, played mahjong NEW PERSON!!!! Ryan: I got a white M&M Luke: gilgamesh,..."

GENERAL BODY MANIFESTATION (special Kage edition)

Benner: did things, not a lot of work, ate hotpot, played mahjong

NEW PERSON!!!!

Ryan: I got a white M&M

Luke: gilgamesh, your/mom, ECE, eighth year student, from minnesota, has a large amount of leghair, has leghair

Ryan^Teddy: was walking in the hallway, this guy came up and said hi teddy, then nevermind and ran away

Kevin^Nathan: (playing string instrument motions)

Julia: I stayed up playing slay the spire until 4am for no reason

(we’re interrupted by a loud noide)

Ryan: had a weekend don’t remember

Luke^Isaac: Hi, I’m Isaac

Luke^Daniel: a bunch of complaints about housing

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Kevin: ad hoc corn subsidies in spirit: 4.35

Ryan: impostor cmu buildings: there’s also a guy named gates was anybody gonna tell me this

Kevin: mis fake cmu buildings: gates at stanford but its light themed

Ryan: ah general body: douglas mcarthur’s corpse

Kevin: actual corn subsidies: 4.34

Kevin: wikipedia: planning to disband

Kevin: wikipedia: needs better glasses

Benner: wikipedia: user vghfr/essay/cleverdebatetricksthatthewwmfdon’t want you to know

Ryan: mis wikipedia: duck, duck is the common name

OLD BUSINESS

Julia: I’m not gonna look, not a real meeting

Kevin: wants spirit of thing, not fault: Benner won’t let me take the thing and take it to california, is fault: the fact that everything for the rest of time forever is your fault if you don’t come to another KGB meeting in the future, also Luke’s nose bleed

NEW BUSINESS

Luke: motion to create the monkey business committee “I’m a monkey ooh ooh ah ah”

Ryan: motion to be recognized

Luke: point of information ooh ooh ah ah

Kevin: hand just comfortable

Failed

Ryan: motion to create the spooky noise committee “to have a deep respect for the spooky noise”

Kevin: never heard that noise before this meeting, think its new

Ryan: I’ve definitely heard it before

passed, sold for all of the money in Benner’s wallet and all of benner’s ancestors money, chaired by Benner’s oldest ancestor

Luke motion to create the eepy committee “I’m such an eepy little guy, I crave the sleeb honk shu mimimi”

Kevin: have you heard of caffeine

Failed

Kevin: motion to purple

Kevin: motion to purple

Kevin: motion to purple

Kevin: motion to purple

Ryan: motion to keep ignoring ryan

Ryan: I used to think lesbian was blesbian and wanted to know what the L in LGBT was for

Ryan: motion to seafoam purple

Kevin: motion to seafoam salute benner

Luke: motion to create the committee of haunted victorian vibrators

Luke: antiseconded

Kevin: antiseconded

Julia: antiseconded

Luke: motion to ask why girls are lesbians and not into me

Ryan: point of information it’s actually a scientific question why people are not gay

RRAS

Benner: We r KGB, you should all come to booth, but every single one of you people except Kevin, who is a traitor and is abandoning us is boothing

Benner: readme publishing a very readme christmas

SCHMUCKS

Kevin: buy my furniture

Benner: going to Nathan’s recital, at 6 in 18 minutes, if you’d like to join me to watch a cool trio, viola, harp, possibly a third mystery instrument

Kevin: motion to ultraviolet

Benner: in order in the sense of how humans visualize it

Ryan: motion to cosmic ray

Benner: out of order, fascist dictator

Kevin: motion to establish a communist dictatorship

Ryan: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20241202

2025-08-11T22:50:05Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: cleaned up Kremlin kitchen, cooked for friendsgiving Benner: went and did the kiltie band stuff for playoff, couldn’t feel fingers, probably need t..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: cleaned up Kremlin kitchen, cooked for friendsgiving

Benner: went and did the kiltie band stuff for playoff, couldn’t feel fingers, probably need them to play flute, also accidentally made daniel watch horrific movie about genocide and Rwanda, they really didn’t hold back, sorry Daniel. movie was ghosts of rwanda, good documentary but makes you feel bad about global affairs and post-holocaust attempts to stop genocide

Nathan^Teddy: stuck in maryland, I think, help!

Daniel: event: LN2 night, we will make ice cream with liquid nitrogens, will have assorted flavorings, feel free to bring your own flavorings, we do need rough headcount, please react to message in headcount, DH A331

Nathan: made some good thanksgiving food, got sick, slept for 14-15 hours straight on Friday, caffeine withdrawal

Julia: brought up pokemon vs 1 billion lions at family thanksgiving

Ryan: played secret hitler, revealed fascist tendencies

Isaac: had chicken dumplings, second best meal, baby cousin drew really weird cryptic religious looking art that spooked my grandma, wrote new cryptid corner, only just now finished it, said it was already added (incomplete)

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Tali: ah annual subscription: nintendo switch online subscription renewed about half an hour ago

Nathan: weird monopoly editions: bible-opoly, your objective is to build a church

Ryan: solvents: difluromethane

Kevin: corn subsidies: 4.25$

Benner: ah profit finding: a profit has been found

Kevin: ah last weeks’ corn subsidies: 4.23$

Nathan: paper airplane: this paper airplane sucks

Ryan: fake cmu buildings: clifford porter hall, actor

Benner: wikipedia: fish fish fish dupont circle elevator (many citations needed, omitted here due to length)

Nathan: quora: can someone be a star seed without having adhd or autism

Benner: speedrunning: ratatouille category extensions: cheese %, collect one piece of cheese, one-handed any %, blindfolded coop no entries, one person playing blindfolded one guiding, drink bleach and die %

Ryan: ah dangerous chairs: wheeee!

Nathan: quora: what is the best demon to summon to kill someone? how long will I need to warm up to this demon?

Isaac: reminding people about lingering curse

Benner: KGWiki: got busy my bad, message me to add to list

Nathan: quora: what is the psychology of women’s minds?

OLD BUSINESS

Ryan has thing, Benner wants thing, not fault: that (nathan dropping laptop), is fault: haven’t finished documentary

Julia: from 3/25/24, 4/15/24, 8/26/24, 9/23/24, 11/4/24, 11/25/24 “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Kevin: motion to table for 1 week

Passed, been tabled

Kevin: motion to create the committee to add more debts to one person before giving tuesday committee “purp to increment the debt of 1 person by at least 1 dollar so that the org gets 1 dollar or 2 dollars tomorrow”

sold for 6$ to Ryan, chaired by the precise vowels that make up the name of the committee

Benner: motion to create the financial literacy committee “teaching KGB members to be responsible with their finances and stop giving out your credit card number, now it’s been two who have offered”

Nathan: motion to create the this is a test committee “the fact that if no one votes on the motion to table this committee we can table the motion to table”

Nathan: motion to table for 1 week

Failed

Ryan: motion to salute Julia

Teddy: motion to create a standing rule such that you can have a motion to double decker table a motion, which creates a motion to table that motion and tables

Benner: motion to allocate a million dollars (4$) to Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund

Nathan: motion to create the bigfoot searching committee “to find bigfoot”

Benner: what will you do with bigfoot once you find him

Nathan: get him to push for booth buggy

Teddy: should try looking in the yellowstone zone of death

Teddy: is bigfoot a species or an individual, if individual immortal

Savi: SCC=spokane community college, mascot is bigfood

Nathan: image from pravda is the actual bigfeet from museum in connecticut

Sold for a million dollars (4$) to Nathan, chaired by bigfoot

Isaac: maybe it’s more philosophical, he needs to find himself

Ryan: motion to allocate 50$ for the construction of shoes for bigfoot

Ryan: point of information: we will do it

Nathan: motion to change the purpose of the allocation to this weeks event (friendly been changed)

Kevin: motion to amend from 50$ to 120$ (friendly, been changed)

Passed, been allocated

Isaac: motion to create a standing rule such that a KGB member can declare double decker couch and can be a second chair to the chair, the only thing that they would inherit would be any other standing rule that is meant to bully the chair, can choose to take on the grievances of the chair, if a standing rule says that something should happen to the chair, have to take on all the grievances and strifes of the chair (would include animal facts, and counting votes)

Ryan: it’s a bad idea

Isaac: fuck you

Failed

Nathan: motion to amend standing rule 34 such that instead of a superabstainer becoming magical, you become magical if a motion you proposed passes

Isaac: it’s a good idea

Ryan: motion to amend so that it’s until the next motion passes so we don’t have to worry about timing (unfriendly)

Ryan: mis hazing daniel: laugh at daniel (he failed to throw a paper airplane)

Passed, been stood

Nathan: summon animal companion

Daniel: parrotfish eat coral, poop out sand

Ryan: motion to create a ranking the bathrooms on cmu’s campus committee “to rank the bathrooms on CMU’s campus by quality and/or flavor”

Passed, sold for 2.5$ to Ryan, chaired by the number 6.25

Benner: motion to create the rip benner’s ruler committee for the purpose of being sad that all of the cork has come off the back of the ruler in my backpack

Isaac: ruler was like a father to me, wrapped cork around me, said it’ll be ok son, said thank you, you’re much cooler than my real dad

Ryan: inuring to the personal despair of members (including isaac): approves

Passed, sold for 1$ to Benner, chaired by my ruler (posthumously)

Julia: motion to create a standing rule such that if a motion to table a motion would be tabled (impossible because it’s out of order, unless loophole with not voting on a motion to table), both the motion to table and the original motion fail

Failed

Teddy: motion to table

Isaac: motion to create a standing rule such that any person moving over the speed of 1 meter per second is a motion and can be seconded, antiseconded, tabled, called to question or passed, failing

Nathan: center of mass or any part of you

Isaac: center of mass

Ryan: was gonna make a pun about a motion as emotional harmcore, but couldn’t think of anything, raised hand too early

Nathan: point of information: only while the person is in motion

Julia: motion to amend such that seconding a person gives +5hp, antiseconding gives -5HP

Isaac: tabling a person forces them to sit down right where they are standing

Nathan: passing a person restores them to full hp

Isaac: motion has to be started while the person is in motion

Teddy: can change it so if you are out of order you die immediately

Nathan: this can only happen between other motions

Isaac: if someone’s in motion, you can antisecond them, motion to pass by acclamation

Kevin: what happens if two people are in motion at the same time

Tali: could each motion actually

Julia: people are not actually motions, but while they are in motion, people can do motion-things to them

motion to create a standing rule such that any person moving over the speed of 1 meter per second can be seconded, antiseconded, tabled, called to question or passed or failed. seconding a person gives +5hp, antiseconding gives -5HP. tabling a person forces them to sit down right where they are standing. motion to ____ a person has to be started while the person is in motion. Failing a person kills (reduces to 0HP) them Pass or fail has to be voted on as a normal motion would be voted on

Passed(tie)

RRAS

Teddy: LN2 night, doherty A331

Daniel: giving tuesday on tuesday, go to link on discord to give us money, scotty plushies hidden around campus at 8am tuesday, go find them and give us 100$

Daniel: ReadME: printing and distributing tomorrow night, we have geek eat next week, kage cleaning december 16th

Kevin: GBM next week

SCHMUCKS

Nathan: concert next week at 6pm in alumni concert hall in CFA, could come right after gbm, won’t make it to GBM next week

Teddy: for booth this year, I will be making ambitious game in 3D might require help creating assets, if you want to help shoot me a DM

Nathan: Thursday night, carnegie mellon philharmonic, doing mashup of nutcracker, 8pm, carnegie music hall by museum, take a break from finals stress, tickets are free for students

Kevin: buy my furniture if you don’t have things like a bed or a couch

Daniel: this thursday from 3-5pm hackerfab demonstration

Kevin: demo is gonna be safe right

Daniel: it’s gonna be posters, maybe chips, no poison mostly

Teddy: do we get to taste the chips

Daniel: will probably get kicked out if you do

Kevin: professor told me if you eat those chips you’d probably be fine, but they have sharp edges

Kevin: you’re a schmuck

Nathan: purple

Benner: anti purple

Ryan: color that is precisely too red to be purple

Benner: motion to leave purple

Kevin: purple

Benner: seafoam green

Nathan: seafoam purple

Ryan: see purple foam

Savi: lavender

Benner: #93E9BE

Tali: slightly lighter purple

Kevin: magenta

Ryan: motion to mix purple and seafoam green and see what happens

Tali: motion to white

Julia: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20241125

2025-08-11T22:49:49Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: watched 7 eps of arcane before falling asleep yesterday, then slept for too long to finish last 2 eps before coming to GBM Nathan^Benner: currently i..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: watched 7 eps of arcane before falling asleep yesterday, then slept for too long to finish last 2 eps before coming to GBM

Nathan^Benner: currently in ohio, help, I had to write essay I kind of forgot about because I need to go to ohio today

Teddy: watched all 9 eps of arcane, let me get into all the details of the last 2 eps, no event this week, next week is LN2 ice cream

Daniel: react to message if you want to come to that

Nathan: went to birthday party saturday night, partied too hard, a bit weary studying for midterm this morning, midterm was ok though

Julia: I learned many facts about tinnitus

Ryan: followed student handbook as hard as could, live and die by the word

Isaac: took a midterm, man fourier series am I right? was advised against saying half of what I was going to say during exec meeting this weekend, unfortunately the media is trying to censor me.

Noah: do you have a podcast?

Isaac: all people with podcasts should combust

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Kevin: corn subsidies: 4.25$

Nathan: quora: I have been with my wife for 9 years and I love my wife…is that normal

Ryan: imp. cmu buildings: posner at tufts

Kevin: channeling benner: wikipedia: wiki hell

Isaac: whos got the lingering curse: who?

Nathan: still ryan I think

Nathan: imp cmu buildings: MIT also has a kresge auditorium

Ryan: ah interesting ways of raising money: 80% of modern bank robberies get away and are never caught

Teddy: how do they know they happened

Nathan: sealand: jeremy corghan is a noble of sealand

Teddy: mis wikipedia: all the text that is contained in wikipedia is 142.5 GB, can download on your computer

Ryan: have a wikipedia on SD card

Nathan: sealand: actually meant jeremy clarkson

Nathan: quora: who wants orange juice XD

OLD BUSINESS

Ryan has thing, Nathan wants spirit of thing, not fault: long lines at the airport to go back for thanksgiving, delays in every other means of transportation are faul

Nathan: motion to salute ryan for f

from 3/25/24, 4/15/24, 8/26/24, 9/23/24, 11/4/24 “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Ryan: motion to table for 1 week

Passed, been tabled for 1 week

NEW BUSINESS

Ryan: motion to create the solvents committee “to describe interesting solvents and what they can dissolve

Passed, sold for 4$ (1 million dollars) to Nathan, chaired by water

Kevin: motion to force exec to declare this weeks event to be movie night II

Daniel: we are having movie night II at Kevin’s house

Isaac: motion to complement kevin’s haircut

Ryan: motion to amend movie night to take a scan of kevin’s head at his house and admire it

Teddy: motion to #define nyehehehe (evil laugh) as a bid 1$ greater than the previous bid

Julia: #definition or standing rule

Daniel: would I accept that string, I would, I think that’s fine

Nathan: I think it’s a pretty good idea

Ryan: motion to allocate 1 million dollars (4$) to Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund

Passed, 4$ allocated to Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund

Nathan: I cast friendship

Isaac: motion to create a standing rule such that a “nyehehe”(1$ above the previous bid) can be upped by “hehehe” (2$ above the previous bid), “hoohoohoo” (3$ above the previous bid). Hehehe is only valid (unseconded)

Nathan: out of order bun butler: please let me read this, recently he read a poem titled “I am the vole in the hole…”

Ryan: motion to remember the vole together

Kevin: motion to allocate 75$ to Kevin Kluznik’s plaidcash account for the purpose of printing next week’s readme

Passed, been allocated

Isaac: motion to allow me to read a piece of writing which bun butler has written: “guess this is all that is left then, whole place is in ashes….gordon danimals was right, natty was right…just useless as a vole, we’re all useless as voles…stuck under the bed for fifteen minutes…burrito supremes with a side of… I guess that’s one thing to look forward to”

Nathan: bun butler is creator of r/voles subreddit

Kevin: who is this?

Kevin: motion to allocate 5$ to Kevin Kluznik’s plaid cash account so we can get a little snack

Julia: you’re going to eat paper?

Ryan: would be about a pound of paper

Teddy: cellulose is a common ingredient in many foods

Kevin: against our bylaws, sorry guys (article I, shall not be operated for personal benefit of any member or individual)

Ryan: motion to create the inuring to the personal despair of members committee “to inure to the personal despair of members”

Isaac: antiseconded

Ryan: Isaac will be the first target of the committee

Tie, That pIassed (Isaac called Daniel Kevin by accident, deciding the vote), sold to Ryan for 3$, chaired by Isaac

Kevin: point of information: is bun butler a real person?

Julia: motion to create a standing rule creating a spell “summon animal companion” such that the chair must share an animal fact after you cast it

Passed, been stood

Ryan: motion to give isaac 1 spells worth of magic

Kevin: motion to create a burner committee “to use this to have a vote”

Passed with 1 in favor, 0 abstaining, 0 against

Sold for 2$ to Ryan, chaired by walter white

Julia: I cast animal companion

Daniel: do you know that sea angels eat sea snails by ejecting stomach into tentacles

Noah: motion to create a standing rule that exists

Passed

Noah: I cast animal companion

Daniel: I’ve forgotten all animals, pond skaters walk on water by not disrupting the surface tension of the water

Kevin: motion to create a standing rule such that there is a spell called “summon squid companion”, which when cast, forces the chair to share a splatoon fact

Julia: motion to create a standing rule such that if a motion gets no votes in favor, against, or abstaining, it is automatically tabled for 1 week, and the motion becomes magical

Kevin: since we passed that standing rule by acclamation and it had no votes in favor against or abstaining

Julia: motion to create a standing rule amending the previous standing rule (which defines magical motions) such that it only applies when votes in favor, against, and abstensions are called for

Passed (on a tie)

Kevin: I cast summon squid companion

Daniel: scatter shot starting velocity was buffed 3%, degree of spread was also reduced to keep effective firing range

Noah: I cast animal companion

Daniel: seagulls have wings

Ryan: point of information: it’s possible to make a seagull not have wings

Savi: point of information: humans are animals so you can give a human fact

Ryan: motion to table daniel so he can go live in the woods so he can live with lots of nice fairies and animals and he can have a nice little house in a tree

Savi: I feel like you were all breathing during the abstaining part

Passed, Daniel has been tabled (Teddy is in charge)

Noah: motion to seafoam green

Daniel: motion to create a new standing rule such that being ejected from the meeting, the tabled individual may sit on a table instead

Passed

Kevin: I cast summon squid companion

Teddy: did you know that squid’s brain is essentially a giant donut, digestive system goes through brain

Daniel: that’s not splatoon fact

Teddy: mudmouth is a thing

Nathan: motion to create a new spell titled “the super salute”, the general body must salute the person you cast it against, and the person it’s against loses 5 hitpoints

Passed, been stood

Kevin: I gotta say by making the only regular way of being magical getting super abstentions, we are making people

Ryan: motion to create a standing rule such that super abstaining no longer makes you magical

Failed

Daniel: motion to create the broken record committee

Kevin: supersalute daniel

Noah: friend destroyer daniel

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Teddy: we are the CMU KGB, we do not have an event this week because thanksgiving

SCHMUCKS

Nathan: cmu philharmonic doing concert at carnegie music hall, mashup of nutcracker suite, gonna be a pretty neat concert, tickets are free for cmu students

Isaac: grandma is making really good food this week for thanksgiving break

Daniel: read README

Nathan: steven neely wants you to make a pie this break

Ryan: come to pitch meeting saturdays 1117

Daniel: booth

Teddy: kage cleaning after break

Kevin: if you want to read readme I’ll send you a copy (brandishing paper airplane)

Daniel: come to office cleaning sunday, will get pizza or something

Daniel: motion to blue

Nathan: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20241118

2025-08-11T22:49:27Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: Finished evangelion Benner: been reading a book for a class, an extremely good book, life in 2 genders by jennifer finney boylan, I recommend you all..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: Finished evangelion

Benner: been reading a book for a class, an extremely good book, life in 2 genders by jennifer finney boylan, I recommend you all read it, the opening image for the entirety of the book has to do with her son eating a marble, and waiting to see if he shits it out, it’s a different marble than what he ate, it’s a metaphor for the rest of the book, adding stuff to the kgb wiki, if you want something added, ask me

NEW PEOPLE, Saavi, cheme 2028, she/her spokane wa, came here by walking

Teddy: cvs thought I didn’t exist, refused to give me my medication, didn’t do a lot until sunday afternoon, CTFWS, DH 2315 7pm friday

Nathan: saw the pittsburgh symphony, played neely bingo, the old people are onto something with bingo, bingo slaps, yesterday made a carrot cake, had to grate the 1lb of baby carrots by hand over the course of 30 minutes

Julia: I wrote a bug so bad that it would exit my ssh session

Ryan: drank horrible mixture of sriracha and ketchup (was told not to)

Isaac: got sick, but I’m feeling a little better, went on a pretty mediocre date

COMMITTEE REPORT

Benner: wikipedia: user vghfr/sa/wikipediaisnotabarbecue, contrary to popular belief, wikipedia is not a barbecue

Nathan: quora: bloodlust bad?

Benner: wikipedia: user vghfr/sa/wikipediaisabarbecue

Isaac: ah remorse: I’m really sorry about the thing, showed up too late last time, my bad

Gavin: ah national day: today is national occultism day

Teddy: ah misc. animal noises: [recording of american woodcock]

Nathan: corn subsidies: 4.29

Benner: Isaac would you like to inform those who were not there why you are apologizing

Isaac: unfriendly

Gavin: genuinely good news: archaeologists found a sabertooth tiger in siberia

Ryan: impostor cmu: baker at umass amherst

Benner: wikipedia: the order of the occult hand, secret society of american journalists who insert phrase

Reed: apparently there was a thing called pig day where all of the big comic authors would all publish a comic strip involving a pig on specific day

Isaac: reminding people about the lingering curse committee: see name

Nathan: bun butler: had a dog named skidmark, drawn to dog after it killed a hamster

Gavin: good news: tomatoes are gonna be sweeter because new genetic modification

Benner: speedrunning: undertale category extensions: gdq%, normal any % run of undertale, but you have to be on premises of agdq or sgdq, have to provide some kind of proof? GPS location?

Gavin: ah national day: it is mickey mouse’s birthday today, good day to remind you that mickey (according to biology) has been dead for 86+ years

Benner: wikipedia: list of people who have died at disney world

Isaac: reminding people about the lingering curse committee: who has it today?

Nathan: Ryan

Reed: not wikipedia but anecdote to share which is deaths in yellowstone book: deaths in yellowstone include people bathing in hotsprings, people attempting to pet buffalo, recorded (non-death) case of people trying to put baby on bear and take selfie

Ryan: ah did you know you can just say anything as a part [fish]

Teddy: ah gaslighting people about the lingering curse committee: lingering curse committee does not exist

Nathan: hivemind: ryan has the plague ling ma end report

Ryan has thing but not here, Benner would like spirit of thing, not fault: fact that its getting dark at like 5, is fault: the us government’s inability to pass a resolution abolishing daylight savings

NEW BUSINESS

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that anyone who is magical has the ability to cast spells

Benner: what does it mean to cast spells?

Nathan: has not been defined yet, we can define it another time

Reed: point of information: can we defined casting spells as committing robbery (not friendly)

Benner: point of information: we do have a give people bronchitis committee

Passed

Murphy: motion to create the innovative ctfws tactics committee: you can buy adult heelies

Passed, sold for 5$ to Murphy, chaired by me and anyone wearing heelies

Benner: motion to allocate 75$ for the purpose of buying heelies

Nathan: who will be wearing the shoes?

Benner: hopefully me

Nathan: would this give an unfair advantage to one team

Benner: they can buy their own pair of heelies if they choose

Isaac: are we adding micro transactions to CTFWS

Benner: if you give me 50$ I will rig CTFWS

Nathan: will you get these shoes by friday

Kevin: motion to amend to heelies for head judge? (unfriendly, not pursued)

Benner: would be open to amending to 150$

Failed, not allocated

Ryan: motion to make a spell such that everyone likes you and is friends with you and you don’t have to be alone anymore (not well defined)

Benner: motion to allocate $3.75 to Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund

Kevin: we’re at -4 right now

Benner: now it would be $0.25

Passed

Teddy: I have to leave, leeroy jenkins, take 99 hp daniel

Kevin: motion to allocate 150$ for this weeks event for snacks and electrolyte filled drinks

Benner: motion to amend such that it can also be used to purchase 2 pairs of heelies

Murphy: michael j murphy committee: your actions are not endorsed by me or KGB if they break CTFWS rules or CMU rules

Amendment failed

Passed, been allocated

Isaac: motion to create a standing rule to make a list of spells that can be cast, which can be added on to or subtracted from using standing rules

Nathan: motion to amend such that if you raise your hand and say the magic word associated with a spell, you may cast the spell

Isaac: dictionary with keys as magic words

Kevin: arguments for spells?

Gavin: would it be better if we assign someone to keep track of a spellbook, maybe it shouldn’t be standing rules

Ryan: will this dictionary be a search tree or a hashbucket or abstract interface

Passed, been stood

Benner: KGWiki: if someone were to hypothetically send me spells after the meeting, I could put them in the wiki

Kevin: floor is lava: floor is now lava

Ryan: fish:end report

Reed: ah floor is lava denial: I don’t believe you

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that we add to the spell book the spell temporary name such that I will be taking suggestions from the general body, such that once it is cast it makes you no longer lonely

Kevin: I propose the name “short term friendship” (friendly, been changed)

Isaac: seconded :(

Ryan: amend such that it makes everyone be really nice to you

Passed

Benner: motion to create the spell “friend destroyer” such that if someone casts the spell short term friendship you can cast it to destroy their friendships

Passed, been stood

Isaac: I pull out, unlike your mother

Nathan: motion to create a spell titled “lazy paper airplane” that deals the effects of throwing a paper airplane without throwing it

Benner: motion to amend such that you have to have and throw a paper airplane, it doesn’t have to hit them

Fail

Ryan: motion to create a spell “shield” fish (unseconded)

Gavin: motion to create a standing rule such that you are magical only if you are out of earshot

(failed)

Murphy: motion to create the old people with a job committee “people with money should give more of it to the KGB”

Nathan: giving day

Sold for 100$ to Murphy, chaired by “Me”

Benner: ah gbm locations: the size of GBM has quadrupled since we moved it to the fence, we should have all the meetings here

Gavin: good point

Nathan: it is 5:53

Benner: motion to #define 5:53 as 5:00

Gavin: motion to fail by acclamation

Failed

Ryan: motion to make anyone with chlamydia antimagical, they cannot be magical

Benner: I’m pretty sure that counts as medical discrimination

Gavin: motion to amend to just not making them magical, KGB is taking a chlamydia neutral stance

Failed

Nathan: lazy paper airplane kevin (didn’t work)

RRAS

Daniel: we are the CMU KGB, you found GBM at the fence today

Benner: you should come to them even if they’re not outside

Daniel: 5pm mondays

Daniel: CTFWS, game of capture the flag between wean and dh with magical items, painting the fence tonight, if you can help hold between 7 and 9 that’s when I will not be available, booth design meeting in 5 minutes in WEH 5304, if you want pizza, let’s leave 2 people here, readme this wednesday, check that out, help fold readme on tuesday night, will let you know where that is, that’s it for RRAs

SCHMUCKS

Ryan: dinner thursday at 8 for people who helped hold pink fence

Benner: if you decided you hate readme and don’t wanna paint the fence, after food I will be in WEH 5201, come hang out and make me not get my work done

Kevin: take fun with robots next semester, class mondays in 5202 that time

Kevin: motion to sky purple

Danya: if anyone sees someone get hit by a car on campus tell me, I write the embarrassing missed connections articles for readme

Benner: motion to leave purple, seafoam green

Noah: motion to super purple (it’s like more purple)

Gavin: motion to fuck ultra purple

Kevin: motion to ultraviolet

Reed: motion to subpurple

Danya: motion to replace the purple with microwaves so we all get cooked

Kevin: motion to barely purple

Danya: motion to microwaves

Noah: super purple

Benner: broken record

Julia: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20241111

2025-08-11T22:49:03Z

Jholz: Created page with "MEETING TIME Nathan^Daniel: had a weekend of continually falling into the mudmouth vortex Benner: went to the pit, made people eat skyline chili Teddy: did homework, non-st..."

MEETING TIME

Nathan^Daniel: had a weekend of continually falling into the mudmouth vortex

Benner: went to the pit, made people eat skyline chili

Teddy: did homework, non-stop, event: video game night, 7pm, PH A18B, sign up sheet for bringing games or consoles

Nathan: had a weekend, stared at the pit, pit stared back, pit was really cool

Gavin^Ryan: pushed my flesh to the very limit, put brain in blender, felt nothing

Nathan^Isaac: stared at the pit pit stared back, went to pirate themed party, had a lot of fun

Isaac has thing, it is all his fault, when he arrives it’s all because of him

Ryan would like the spirit of the thing, spiritually not fault: quality of food on campus, is fault: campus food places close at 9pm

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Nathan: quora: I am not a good boy, why?

Julia: reminding about lingering curse: Reed maybe has it

Reed: Linger curse committee: I curse Ryan (Ryan has the lingering curse now)

Ryan: impostor cmu buildings: doherty hall in carmel new york, you can vote there

Gavin: again?

Nathan: quora: are gay men such as buttigieg attacking JD vance because they are jealous

Julia: committee report committee: report

Nathan: hivemind: hello there folks, I am having a wonderful evening and everything including the lingering curse just wait huh? end report

Benner: wikipedia: the boll weevil monument: this isa really great statue commemorating the boll weevil

Nathan: weird monopoly editions: 95th anniversary of cornwell quality tools edition

Benner: wikipedia: My Way Killings: thing that happened in the Phillipines where after someone would sing the song “My Way” by Frank Sinatra, they would start killing eachother (happened at least like 6 times). The song was taken off karaoke machines in Manila, there was also Karaoke rage in other countries.

Reed: Point of information: was it the same person that killed

Benner: unrelated incidents, only thing that tied them together was someone singing my way

Ryan: impostor cmu buildings: doherty in martha’s vineyard

Nathan: weird monopoly: gamestop exclusive monopoly edition

Benner: speedrunning: scooby doo night of 100 frights, only one entry for 3:45:14 from 7 years, normal any % run, but the run must be done on a dance pad

Daniel: beep beep special report: I was late because I was in the UG lab for MSE, imaging these chips under the SEM

Teddy: flavor of the chips?

Daniel: poison

Nathan: going down: I wanna go into the pit

Benner: speedrunning: pokemon legends arceus: category extensions, only has 2 speedruns, bully melly speedrun, on which you have to collect all 43 throwable items and throw them at the warden melly

Gavin (actuallly daniel today): out of bounds: you know the highmark center has inaccessible garden, if you push chair into the corner and squeeze behind it you’ll pass through the glass into the garden

Nathan: going down: this umbrella

We messed up the order and did spirit of the thing :(

Reed: if the body and the soul of the thing are separate, does it have any consequences

Gavin: if the thing dies it goes to hell

Benner: no, purgatory

NEW BUSINESS

Nathan: motion to salute Benner for fucking up the order

Benner: motion to salute Nathan for being mean to me

Benner: motion to create the bronchitis committee purp: infecting everyone else at cmu so I don’t have to suffer alone

Reed: does the bronchitis committee have a method, or just a goal

Benner: it’s really up to the chair who will get bronchitis

Gavin: can we please fail this one by acclamation

Isaac: point of information: coughing

Gavin: motion to fail by acclamation

Benner: point of information: I took my antibiotics this morning, didn’t eat fast enough, threw up, skipped a round of antibiotics

Passed, sold for 13$ to Benner, chaired by Gavin, cause you seem to really want bronchitis

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that anyone with bronchitis is magical

Benner: point of information: my mom said I was predisposed to bronchitis

Benner: motion to pass by acclamation

Isaac: point of information: do you have to bring the medical documents to prove it

Nathan: motion to create the bun butler committee with purp: to report on the activities of bun butler

Gavin: does bun butler have a criminal record? is he a real person?

Isaac: he’s the host of a vole-themed town hall, public streamer and a figure, he’s also the main guy of the r/hotdogs subreddit

Benner: and r/voles

Nathan:Bunyan Heinz Butler, known by the alias Dinosaur Sunday is a kratom addicted trucker, stoner, cryptid-hunter, woodsman, and internet poster from Tonopah, Nevada.

Passed

Sold to isaac for 2$, chaired by bunyan butler himself

Ryan: motion to create the Impostor CMU buildings committee purp: telling people about buildings that have stolen the names of CMU buildings

Benner: had to read screenplay about baker and porter being conjoined twins for screenplay class, they used the lights to indicate when the buildings were talking, and I quote “Baker: I don’t think we should do this anymore….” (I am not reproducing the whole quote here sorry/you can thank me for sparing you the cognitohazard).

Gavin: aren’t there like a ton of them in pittsburgh, there’s another dietrich college, how do we know that ours are the original, I think Doherty hall died and was replaced years ago

Ryan: think the doherty halls are all actually one building

Passed (Daniel is too busy chewing), sold for 4$ to Ryan, chaired by doherty hall

Benner: motion to allocate 3 and half dollars to Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund (failed)

Isaac: motion to allocate 0$ to say that I’m sorry for coming in late, sorry for the results of the election, had the thing, didn’t think to say that the 2024 election results are not my fault (failed)

Ryan: motion to allocate 60+i (math tax 61$) for snacks for this week’s event

Passed, been allocated

Gavin: motion to create the good news committee with purpose: unironically proliferating good news

Kiera: it’s a good idea

Reed: point of information:can you give us a sample

Gavin: cookies usually taste pretty good

Ryan: can we amend it to make the good news sufficiently topical, as in it needs to be applied to your skin (rejected/unfriendly and not strong)

Benner: what if I’m just a sad miserable person who dislikes good news

Gavin: It’s not for you

Passed, sold for 1$ to Gavin, chaired by Mr. Rogers (Benner’s dad)

Ryan: motion to table 2 identical motions to this for 1 week

Daniel: you can’t table a motion that doesn’t exist

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that (I pull out)

Gavin: I move that this motion if it passes, gets tabled until next week

Benner: requesting a high five from the president

Ryan: motion to create the turing complete motion committee with purpose: to create a turing complete motion

Passed, sold to Ryan for 1$, chaired by Alan Turing

Teddy: motion to #define “a gazillion” as “a bazillion millions”

Gavin: a good idea

Isaac: motion to amend such that it also gives my bag of cookies from the clutches of evil Ryan

Daniel: theft is prohibited by state of pennsylvania, but not meeting rules

Daniel: you two settle it out

Benner: motion to pass by acclamation, and also they’re working out a joint custody agreement

Passed

Benner: motion to create the math is evil committee with purpose “destroying math for ever and ever and ever”

Reed: are numbers math

Nathan: if we destroy math, what happens

Benner: we’re free

Benner: anything that has to do with numbers is math

Failed

Teddy: motion to #define “a zillion as 2^-6” (failed)

Benner: motion to the color of paint that daniel spilled

Reed: motion to #define “a million” as “four”

Reed: I would like to mention as a statement, you could bid a million dollars, as four dollars

Ryan: could we amend it such that each additional multiple adds 2

Daniel: I think you gotta do that separately

Passed

Ryan: motion to create a 1 million dollar committee, purp: to be sold for 1 million dollars

Passed, sold for 1million plus 2 (6) dollars, chaired by 1 thousand benjamin franklins

Benner: motion to execute Daniel for fucking it up (not well defined)

Gavin: purple

Benner: seafoam green

Benner: opposite of purple

REAL & RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: pay your dues, giving CMU day is soon, you can pay your dues and debts and double your money, but it all goes to us, it’s a way for us to get CMU to siphon money to us

Daniel: we have booth, we’re not doing anything for it this week

Daniel: event

Teddy: videogame night, PH A18A, 7 oclock friday, have a sign up sheet

Daniel: week after that is CTFWS, we are looking for judges and people who can make it to a rules committee meeting, we need to fix the blue belt

Daniel: readME out last wednesday, new readme next week, also allegheny observatory was really cool

SCHMUCKS

Benner: allegheny observatory is really cool, if you’re nice maybe Diane will let you in the pit

Ryan: fence is still being held

Gavin: if you want to be involved in ReadMe TV please contact me

Benner: motion to leave purple

Gavin: motion to purple

Benner: motion to antipurple

Gavin: motion to purple

Benner: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20241104

2025-08-11T22:48:30Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: just slept for 10 hours, don’t remember anything before that Benner: 6 straight hours of filming followed by fence painting which I left because th..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: just slept for 10 hours, don’t remember anything before that

Benner: 6 straight hours of filming followed by fence painting which I left because the mainia that had been propelling me through the shoot was instantly lost and I had to go to sleep, got this “boba” for free because well technically it was the first person to get a bag of m&ms with the blue ones out, technically second, but they felt bad for me

Teddy: did not paint the fence because I honk shooed through all of it, event: KGB touches grass, going to Phipps conservatory, Friday the 8th at 7pm, at UC black chairs

Nathan: saw a concert, went to a party afterwards, was all music majors, everyone was doing opera vocal warmups at 1am

Julia: mostly just worked on memory allocator

Ryan: 1. reconsidered entire life, 2. awake for like 33 hours straight doing ReadMe stuff, vision is just a little wonky, will not have to sleep again

Isaac: I had a weekend, painted the fence, played mao, tried to find the death robot under newell simon, he wasn’t there

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: speedrunning committee: dark souls 2 category extensions: no runs, any time will give you world record holder, stairless, you are not allowed to use the stairs, technically you can go up the staircase, but you must immediately go back down, you cannot benefit from it in any way, cannot use staircases

Nathan: quora: what is the most powerful prayer in judaism what are its effects

Isaac: reminding people about lingering curse

Ryan: ah democracy: go vote tomorrow

Benner: wikipedia: international obfuscated C code contest, contest for most creatively obfuscated C code, some examples are pi, code that calculates pi by looking at its own area, flight simulator, toledo nano-chess - 1255 chars long, worlds smallest c chess programs

Ryan: mis wikipedia: dinkus, a dinkus is a typographic symbol which often consists of three spaced asterisks or bullets in a horizontal row,

Isaac: mis wikipedia: lawrence sydney eagleburger, who named all of his children lawrence eagleburger

Nathan: sealand: sealand seahawks lost against the wfl dutch

Benner: KGB wiki: according to the KGB wiki page: once upon a time KGB acquired a bunch of wood from nasa for booth, asa’s disappeared around the same time

OLD BUSINESS

Nathan has thing, Isaac wants thing, not fault: low attendance, is fault: election outcome???

from 3/25/24, 4/15/24, 8/26/24, 9/23/24, a motion to create the “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Nathan: motion to table for 3 weeks

Passed, been tabled

Ryan: motion to #define “veep veep” (said like roadrunner but faster) to ”2VP”

Benner: motion to create a standing rule such that you can table a member of exec for 1 week which results in them being ejected from the meeting

Julia: motion to amend such that you can table a member of exec for any amount of time and they’re ejected for that long

Benner: capped at 1 meeting

Motion to create a standing rule such that you can table a member of exec for an amount of time (capped at one week) which results in them being ejected from the meeting for that amount of time

Passed

Ryan: motion to table two motions identical to this motion

Benner: motion to table daniel for the rest of the meeting

Isaac: enjoy your food daniel

Passed

Daniel: bye

Ryan: motion to create a standing rule such that if a self-referential motion contains aardvark (unseconded)

Isaac: motion to create a standing rule such that when there are cookies in the room and someone buys a committee in an auction, they get a complimentary cookie

Julia: what if you just bring cookies and they’re not to share with the class

Passed

Ryan: motion to create the “I want a cookie committee” with purpose “I want a cookie”

Gavin: I want a cookie

sold for 14$ to Ryan, chaired by “the cookie”

Daniel: motion to create the “I wanta cookie committee too 2” purpose “to acquire a cookie”

Nathan: motion to fail by acclamation

Daniel: objection, that’s really messed up

Failed with 3 abstaining, 2 for, 3 against

Benner: Daniel, why would you abstain

Daniel: motion to allocate 5 billion dollars to buy phipps

Benner: chair would like to request a report from the treasury on if we have 5 billion dollars

Ryan: it appears that we do

Benner: it says for adults its 21.95

Benner:(dilatory, I have on good authority that we do not have 5 billion dollars

Ryan: motion to force someone to give us 2.5 billion dollars on giving tuesday (not well defined)

Teddy: motion to create a standing rule such that if a member says leroy jenkins, they lose 100hp, are ejected from the meeting as a chair, and deal 99hp of damage to the current acting chair

Ryan: can we amend it from the chair to daniel specifically (unfriendly, not strong)

4 abstaining, 1 in favor, 1 against, Benner tie breaks, passes

Teddy: leroy jenkins

[teddy is ejected from the meeting]

Daniel: motion to #define “generates lift” as “worth 5 billion dollars” (unseconded)

Ryan: motion to not anymore stuff

Noah: motion to purple

Teddy: ooo me being dead would like to report must say ooo

Nathan: motion to eat vuyani’s jacket

Isaac: point of information: yum.com

Daniel: motion to allocate 525$ to readme

Daniel: this is because we are able to buy plaidcash so we can get money for readme without Kevin paying for it out of his own pocket

Passed with 5 abstaining, 3 in favor, none against, we can now pay the poor poor souls at readme

Ryan: motion to check Kevin’s credit score

Benner: which

Ryan: song

(unseconded)

Gavin: motion to create the “KGB minting committee” with purpose “so we can print more money and get out of our debt”

Daniel: had KGBitcoin in previous years

Benner: how much is it worth

Noah: what kind of plastic is it

Daniel: yellow

Passed, the committee will solve the economy, sold to Gavin for $9.50, chaired by gretel?

Daniel: motion to create the “committee report committee” purp: “to give a committee report”

Passed, sold for 5$ to Ryan, chaired by Daniel

Daniel: that’s really messed up

Nathan: motion to watch me play minecraft on my TI-84

Julia: requesting a report from the “committee report committee”

Daniel: committee report committee: the committee has decided to name Ryan as its chair

Isaac: motion to gitfo

Benner: announcements and schmucks

Daniel: motion to create a standing rule such that motions to gitfo are in order after schmucks and during officer reports but only if we are in purple

Nathan: the speedrunning committee approves

Passed with 1 abstaining, 4 in favor, 3 against

RRAS

Benner: I don’t know any of you, I’m the president, event friday, phipps conservatory, uc black chairs 7pm ooooo I know none of you have touched grass in at least 2 months oooo

Benner: readme: hopefully will be being distributed wednesday woooo

Nathan: has been playing plainfin midshipman quietly

Daniel: I haven’t made the form yet but if you wanna be a CTFWS judge

Nathan: rules meeting soon, we should plan that

SCHMUCKS

Nathan: you should go vote. please.

Benner: or Isaac’s gonna have a real hard time (because it’s his fault)

Isaac: oh god, please

Daniel: I noticed that people on the attendance seem to not have gotten many election texts

Benner: if you enjoy russian, assuming you come here for the russian culture, you should come to russian tea 4-5 on thursdays in a room that I can’t remember, conference room at the very end of the hall in posner 3, can talk in russian or listen to people talk in russian

Gavin: if you’re voting in person, keep yourself safe, if while you’re there you could bring a coin and flip it before you walk into the booth it would be really funny

Daniel: motion to stygian blue

Noah: motion to purple again

Isaac: motion to gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20241028

2025-08-11T22:48:11Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: played mahjong, helped uea get their act together and paint the fence properly Benner: slept through the tour I was supposed to give, oopsie, got a l..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: played mahjong, helped uea get their act together and paint the fence properly

Benner: slept through the tour I was supposed to give, oopsie, got a little stuffed rock from a market on Craig street, and they didn’t fire me. NEW Person:

Amy, she/her, westboro massachusetts, came for the hamster, theoretically breathes air

Teddy: cooked food and did homework, if you’re here for a hamster, you’ve been tricked into going to a KGB meeting

Nathan: watched the movie hundreds of beavers, it’s basically an hour and 45 minutes of the best slapstick comedy you’ve ever seen, submit to Pravda

Julia: saw into the woods, played wingspan

Ryan: was gonna get so much done, had 8 hour time commitment that started at 6:45 in the morning

Isaac: didn’t sleep and then slept

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: KGWiki: there is a text adventure game on the KGB wiki that you can play

Nathan: Weird monopoly editions: bass fishing edition, not to be confused with bass fishing lakes edition

Kevin: corn subsidies: 4.10

Isaac: lingering curse reminder

Nathan: quora: why can’t a man control the darkness in his heart

Kevin: “motion to create the lingering curse committee should be charitably given to a victim, suggestion: this committee’s head can bequeath it to another person against their will, and that person suffers the adverse effects of having to run this committee as to be decided by the buyer”: I curse Reed

Teddy: ah actual monopolies: proctor and gamble

Benner: wikipedia: KLF who were a band who were at one point called the time lords for a novelty pop single called doctor in the tardis, they said they wrote it as a deliberate effort to get the #1 hit single, according to the british music press, the result was “rancid…excrutiating, so noxious” sold over 1 million copies

Teddy: requesting a sample of the music

Nathan: ah wtf cmu scheduling: wtf cmu scheduling: why are you making all the physics majors go from 8am wean to 9am mellon institute

Ryan: mis ah wtf cmu scheduling: intro to ECE and physics at the same time

Benner: this youtube video has straight all the way through, people are watching this all the way through, I ask for your apologies in advance, plays the song

Ryan: ah plainfin midshipman: we should remix that

Kevin: floor is lava: floor is lava

Benner: speedrunning: 1998 metalgear solid category extensions: full game any % with guitar hero controller

Benner: metalgear solid 1998 also has a section for loading the new game, beating the entire thing any % but having cigarettes equipped whenever possible

Reed: speedrunning complaint: checked the 2 you mentioned before and they were both really good

OLD BUSINESS

Kevin: has the thing, Nathan wants thing, not fault: CMU scheduling bullshit (the fact that all the physics majors have to go to mellon institute at 9am)

From 10/21/24: motion to create the "Remind KGB about lingering curse committee" purp: “to remind people that they have the lingering curse and should pass it on”

Nathan: motion to table for 1 week

Passed, tabled for 1 week

NEW BUSINESS

Kevin: motion to allocate 2$ for rpg night

Ryan: why 2$

Nathan: motion to amend the allocation to 2 billion dollars

Isaac: motion to amend the allocation to 2 billion

Julia: motion to amend such that the purpose of the allocation is “to buy dice and other tasty snacks”

Ryan: motion to amend the source from KGB’s funds to PNC banks vault [redacted]

Ryan: motion to amend to take out a loan first secured by PNC’s assets

Kiera: motion to amend to 1 million 999,998$ and 2$ (friendly)

Daniel: help

Isaac: neanderthal committee would look favorably on # less than ten

Ryan: 60$ for dice and other snacks

Passed, we will have dice and other snacks

Teddy: motion to make a standing rule such that magic is now real

Kevin: magic has always been real

Kiera: would this have any implications

Teddy: maybe

Nathan: I feel like we already have things that imply magic is real (splash potions of harming and healing)

Kevin: alchemy

Passed with 1 abstaining, 7 in favor, 2 against

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that anyone who superabstains becomes magical for 1 minute

Kevin: I don’t see where this is going and I’m worried about that

Passed, been stood

Isaac: motion to create a standing rule such that you lose 1 hp whenever your motion is antiseconded (1 per person per motion)

Teddy: is it per person that antiseconds or per person

Isaac: per person

Passed, been stood

Ryan: motion to create a pouring kool aid in the pittsburgh water supply committee “to pour water in the pittsburgh water supply”

Nathan: my water’s already red

Julia: ah diabetes: approves

Passed, Sold to Ryan for 2$, chaired by Michelle Obama

Julia: motion to allocate 5$ to buy 20 ounces of kool aid

Passed

Benner: speedrunning committee: if you are (end report I’m starting over)

Nathan: out of order fairfax vending machine: it works

Benner: out of order fairfax vending machine: it worked once but was broken a second time

Benner: speedrunning: if you’re looking for a category with no submissions nerf test range 2014 on the website empty all the cartridges as fast as possible, for one submission, scooby doo night of 100 frights completing the game with a dance pad, current record is 3 hours+, game itself is 14 minutes

Reed: motion to create the committee creation speedrun any % starting now attempt 1 committee (no seconds, that failed)

Reed to create the to create the committee any % creation speedrun starting now attempt 2 committee (no seconds, that failed), purp: “to be”

Passed, sold for 3$ to Reed, chaired by “also, Michelle Obama”

Isaac: motion to create the droning/ambient/tinnitus committee purpose: playing a slight ambient droning or tinnitus inducing sound during GBM

Ryan: plainfin midshipman

Benner: are you playing it right now?

Reed: faint as in low in volume or high in pitch

Isaac: low in volume no matter what

Ryan: motion to amend that the pitch cannot between 500 hertz and 30,000 hertz (friendly, been changed)

Isaac: edit out tinnitus

Benner: grandpa had sound thing to deter rats, but I could hear it, my family thought I was crazy, only cousin could hear it

Reed: they don’t work

Benner: there was a version that would just loudly play eagle screech

Isaac: grandma had tube that would play thumping noises to scare away moles

Sold for 2$ to Ryan, chaired by this very shiny dime

Teddy: motion to allocate 20$ to buy roughly 9 grams of raw uranium ore for Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund

Ryan: point of information: how many 20$ purchases to create a nuke

Teddy: more than we have probably

Noah: what is the purity

Teddy: the granules will generally read on a geiger counter from 3,000 CBM to 10,000 CBM

Isaac: this seems like a good way to build up trust with our CMU community

Noah: point of information you can’t ship radioactive materials to package pickup, ship to off campus mailbox

Daniel: can we store radioactive materials on campus

Kiera: we could donate it to the physics department?

Ryan: we could donate it to them without telling them

Kevin: how much uranium does the physics department already have

Ryan: the chemistry department also has radioactive materials in doherty subbasement

Nathan: on the smc website, nothing restricting radioactive materials

Isaac: is this something that we’re really doing

Teddy: a US citizen is allowed to own up to 3.3 pounds of uranium, doesn’t specify refined or raw

Ryan: if we all owned legal limit we could make a nuclear weapon

Noah: dirty bomb

Passed, with 2 abstaining, 4 in favor, 3 against

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that anyone who is in possession of uranium is magical

Kevin: motion to create a standing rule entitled the nuclear non proliferation act to prevent allocating money for buying nuclear materials again

Daniel: Kevin, what materials do not have any nuclei

Nathan: plasma

Teddy: oh no the KGB bought le uranium

Julia: motion to amend such that it prevents buying of materials known by the state of california to cause cancer (not friendly, not strong)

Kevin: motion to amend such that instead of radioactive materials, it’s any motion that has the word uranium in the purpose anywhere

Failed

Nathan: point of information for the drone, if you really want to annoy people play around 4,000hertz, fundamental frequency of human ears

Benner: motion to create the КГБ committee purp: teaching KGB members russian so they can connect with their roots and participate in the upcoming communist revolution (unseconded failed)

Isaac: motion to censor all mentions of uranium in the minutes

(failed by

Ryan: motion to create the geiger counter committee that I proposed out of order

passed, sold for 19$ to Ryan, chaired by president eisenhower

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: we are KGB, dues, pay your dues, if you’re interested in being a continuously dues paying member, deadline is october 31st, this thursday, booth design meeting tomorrow at 7pm?

Nathan: 4 thumbs up and 7 thumbs down in discord?

Daniel: mini carnival this Friday

Kevin: instagram post said wean commons, in front of conan room

Daniel: will be there 4-6 selling stickers and t-shirts

Kevin: selling stickers, 1 sticker for 1$ gbm deal

Daniel: cmukgb.org/discord

Daniel: one shot RPGs in PH 125b, readme, pitchmeeting saturday 1117 at 5pm

SCHMUCKS

Nathan: come see cmu philharmonic, saturday night at 8pm in Kresge theater in college of fine arts

Benner: next semester professor parker is teaching soviet science fiction, one of my favorite classes, you get to watch tarkovsky

Kevin: you should take fun with robots stuco next semester, you get a free (10$ lab fee) robot, I’ve been teaching it this semester, won’t be next semester, but instructors teaching it will

Kevin: motion to seafoam red

Benner: motion to as close to purple you can get without being purple

Reed: motion to the first half of purple

Benner: motion to seafoam purple

Noah: motion to seafoam seafoam green

Ryan: motion to have infinitely many seafoams that end in green

Kiera: motion to type color = {purple, seafoam, color} (not sure the spelling on this)

Kevin: broken record

Nathan: Gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20241021

2025-08-11T22:47:53Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: Started using left thumb for spacebar, now makes many more mistakes Benner: Went to Cincinnati, had skyline, woke up with scratchy throat Teddy: Mad..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: Started using left thumb for spacebar, now makes many more mistakes

Benner: Went to Cincinnati, had skyline, woke up with scratchy throat

Teddy: Made broth, bought projector, worked on scooter. Have event: murder mystery

Nathan: Went home, visited friends in Boston, made paella, very good

Julia (Kevin): I did things

Ryan (Benner) something not in english

Isaac (Nathan) AAAAA

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Kevin: Floor is Lava: Lava committee is lacking

Teddy: Lingering curse blah blah: Kevin has the curse

Teddy: Moo deng on the projector (never mind)

Noah: prime number: New largest prime number found

Nathan: Quora: Why did god allow my enemies to trick me

Benner: wikipedia: polygon with 43958734987569238476938672592874623987645 something sides, def NOT a circle

Benner: wikipedia: national raisin reserve, made to control raisin prices. In 2015 SCOTUS said it was bad so it stopped

Teddy: booth: opening ideas for booth

Daniel: Booth theme vote tomorrow! WEH 5328 at 7pm.

Booth Ideas:

Red carpet, sharknado, stalker (tarkovsky), sharknado 2, Robots (2005), Nick cage, Red Son, Harlan county USA, Cocaine Bear, sharknado 3, the VeliciPastor, Charlie Brown Christmas, A Horror Movie

Nathan: adhoc twitter: guy posting mental illnesses as paintings, like left handedness

OLD BUISNESS

Reed has thing, Kevin wants thing, not fault: never had the thing

From last week: committee to remind people about lingering curse, been tabled

NEW BUISNESS

Kevin: motion to create a standing rule allow “super abstain” where you don’t abstain or vote in favor or opposing.

Noah: motion to amend such that if the chair recognizes a super abstention, they instantly die, friendly

Passed

Benner: motion to create KGBWiki committee

purpose: encourage people to read the wiki

Teddy: motion to change name to KGBiki comittee, friendly

Passed, sold for $1 to Benner, chaired by most active KGB wiki editor

Kevin: motion to allocate $-2 to this weeks event

Failed

Teddy: motion to allocate $150 to this weeks event

Benner: get people to write stuff on boxes

Nathan: question on GF pizza

Kevin: how much money gonna be used to kill the guy? 150 is a lot, 80-100 better range

Passed

Benner: motion to create speedrunning committee

Purpose: speedrunning

Reed: in general, or specific?

Benner: has 8 pages of specifics

Kevin: when you’re running, you usually aren’t speeding

Passed, sold for $1 to benner, chaired by anyone who actually completes any of the speed runs she has collected and becomes number 1

Benner: speedrunning committee report: portal 2 category extension page, duel labors radio in hole%, feet are very prohibited, taking adderall encouraged, write and submit an essay in MLA format for your run to be considered, different rules broken change word count requirement for essay (700-10062 words)

Reed: where is the list

Benner: come to GBM

Out of order

Kevin: sneaky corn: 4.15

Out of order

Benner: speedrunning committee: modern warfare with portal 2 in the background, portal 2 speedrun

Out of order

Teddy: motion to left

Kevin: motion to #define KGB’s favorite number as 3

Failed

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule that’s awesome (standing rule defines itself as awesome)

Passed

Benner: high five from president

Kevin: requesting report from benner’s nerf gun

Kevin: motion to right

Benner: motion to create arm the KGB committee

Purpose: arm the KGB for the revolution

Kevin: do paper airplanes count

Benner: not really

Passed, sold for $2 to Benner, chaired by member of KGB with largest # of nerf guns in their possession

Teddy: motion to wake up

Reed: motion to create standing rule such that you have to call “going n times” where n is the price of the highest bid (eg. going once, twice, thrice) for $3.

Passed

REAL RELEVENT KGB

blah blah pay dues blah blah we have an event!

Murder mystery, if you didn’t sign up, that sucks, if you did: keep an eye out for location.

ReadME wednesday, booth theme meeting tomorrow,

SCHMUCKS

Benner: if you want an account for KGB wiki, tell me, I can make one

Benner: motion to sea foam green

Kevin: red

Noah: lake foam green

Reed: sea foam red

Nathan: sea foam purple

Benner: anti-purple

Kevin: purple

Noah: purple

Benner: motion

Kevin: GTFO

[minutes courtesy of ngaynor]

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20241007

2025-08-11T22:47:37Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: decided to watch football game with aresh, pretty embarrassing for waynesburg, asked aresh if it’s possible for defense to pick up ball holder and c..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: decided to watch football game with aresh, pretty embarrassing for waynesburg, asked aresh if it’s possible for defense to pick up ball holder and carry them, it happened

Benner: really bad losing streak in Mahjong, lost every game for the past 2 straight games

New People!!!

Jenny, she/her, cs/art, seattle, standing up right now

Elizabeth, she/her, edison,nj, english, made this all up

Lucia, she/they, international relations, politics, english, senior, from princeton nj, i just came from class

Teddy: didn’t really do a whole lot, movie night, this Friday, vote on voting system, then vote on movie, at 7:00 pm

Nathan: saw megalopolis, it reminds me of why I love art so much, gave it a 6/10

Julia: I watched spykids 3, not worse than the garfield movie

Ryan: Readme stuff

Isaac: went to the zoo and saw a lot of people cry in academic buildings

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Nathan: weird monopoly editions: anti-monopoly, made as a response to monopoly

Kevin: corn subs: 4.27

Nathan: weird monopoly editions: anti-monopoly 2: each person decides to play as a monopolists or competitors

Vin: scared:ahh

Benner: wikipedia: h-day, september 3rd, 1967, day that Sweden switched from driving on the left side of the road to right side of the road, went about as well as you would expect

Danya: where my dad is from, most cars are steering wheel on the right, but they also drive on the right

Benner: wikipedia: the song was the winning entry for a television contest, the english translation is keep to the right svenson

Teddy: animal noises committee: video of a deer screaming, deer

Nathan: raven: wuah

Benner: wikipedia: clear channel memorandum, list of songs that felt not good to play after 9/11

Danya: seeing things: saw a raccoon downtown

Nathan: quora: my 6 year old son wants to hug me because he is sad, how do I politely tell him I’m not comfortable

Isaac: sabotage

Teddy: booth committee: we are still under for booth chairs, if you’re interested, please sign up or talk to us

Kevin: floor is lava: ceiling is lava

Benner: anti physics, lava does not abide by laws of gravity

Isaac: ah neanderthal: speak out against the mention of physics (retracted)

OLD BUSINESS

Nathan has thing, reed wants thing, not fault: stock prices, is fault: the existence of these desks

From september 30th: a motion remind KGB about lingering curse committee with purpose: “to remind people that they have the lingering curse and should pass it on”

Teddy: motion to pass by acclamation

Benner: motion to table for 1 week

Teddy: I’m going to make an alarm

passed, been tabled

From 3/25/24, 4/15/24, 8/26/24, 9/23/24, motion to create the “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Nathan: motion to table for 1 week

Benner: motion to amend to table for 1.9 fortnights

Nathan: friendly, been changed

Keerthana: amend to .95 moon cycles (friendly, been changed)

Benner: motion to create the I hate new business committee with purpose to delay new business so we never get to it

Nathan: motion to table for 6 years

Ryan: motion to table this table for 1 table

Keerthana: this is how mass energy equivalence works

Benner: motion to table the president

Benner: motion to sit in silence for 30 seconds (not seconded)

Kevin: motion to allocate 30$ for this week’s event

Benner: motion to pass by acclamation

Passed

Kevin: motion to salute daniel

Isaac: motion to create the fairfax vending committee for the purpose of being out of order by reporting during old business, so it’s then out of order

Teddy: motion to create the broken record committee

Benner: point of information:can you get me the bag of chips you really want to buy

Nathan: I was scammed out of like 5$ by the fairfax vending machine

Ryan: what if the fairfax vending machine is an unlicensed slot machine

Passed, with 3 abstaining, 6 in favor, 3 against

Sold for 2$ to keerthana, chaired by the wean hall vending machine

Benner: motion to make the I was gonna make a new committee but I forgot “it was gonna be really funny I swear”

Keerthana: motion to table for 6 months

Passed, been tabled

Ryan: motion to table this motion and a copy of this motion for 1 week (ill defined)

Benner: I’m really sorry julia committee purpose: “I’m sorry :(“

Kevin: what are we sorry for?

Benner: specifically the sheer volume of tabled motions

Keerthana: motion to assassinate the rec sec with love

Passed, sold for 3$ to Ryan, chaired by Benner

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that anytime the president stands up in a meeting we applaud him for promoting good fitness, and the maximum time that you must clap is 30 seconds

passed, been stood

Nathan: requesting a high five from the president

Isaac: motion to create the trojan horse committee purpose: “sneaking in committee reports during motions”

Keerthana: hivemind: I think that it will be a profitable institution tomorrow such that we shall table this motion for 6 years end report

Kevin: revisiting corn subsidies: 4.27$

Benner: motion to creat the russianize the KGB committee…(we’re still in another motion)

Danya:something in Russian?

Kevin: floor is lava: floor is lava

Benner: my russian is not very good

Benner: floor is lava: you only take half damage if you lie completely down on the floor

Passed, sold for 2$ to Ryan, chaired by Ryan

Benner: motion to create the hazing daniel committee with purpose of “attending KGB meetings”

Julia: motion to amend purpose to “attending KGB meetings” and “getting Daniel to not attend KGB meetings” (friendly, been changed)

(Isaac is standing in front of Daniel to prevent Benner from shooting him, taking damage from floor being lava)

Keerthana: floor is lava: floor is definitely lava

Passed, sold for 3$ double or nothing to Kevin, (6$, it was double), chaired by all the gamblers who thought they would be luckier than they were

Nathan: motion to 0.45 kilogram define (#define) out of order to it might be in order

Benner: motion to fail by acclamation, failed

Ryan: motion to create the preemptively hazing benner committee “to preemptively haze benner in case Daniel stops showing up”

Nathan: it’s a good idea

Isaac: ooo it’s a good idea ooo

Benner: I’m the only person here who’s armed

Isaac: check this out: ooo holds out paperclip ooo

Passed, sold for 4$ to Ryan, chaired by “me”

Reed: motion to establish the normal monopolies committee to report on normal monopoly editions

Nathan: there are many normal monopoly editions because they have changed throughout the years

Ryan: miss monopoly

Isaac: monopoly kids also pretty normal

Nathan: motion to pass by acclamation

Passed, sold for 3$ to Reed, chaired by this minutely topographical hampster

REAL & RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: discord, instagram, cmu_kgb, need players for murder mystery, form will be up in the discord soon, have booth chair sign ups, please sign up soon, SCC is being very non-communicative about plans, would be helpful if we knew more things

Teddy: movie night: this friday at 7 in MM A14

Daniel: readme is on stands, will probably have booth theme vote the week we come back from fall break, but not announcing that definitively yet

SCHMUCKS

Benner: you should come to wean 5201 after we get food because I have to get a lot of work done

Nathan: go see the CMU opera, they’re playing the next 4 nights

Kevin: mis spring carnival: first booth chair meeting is this Thursday

Nathan: purple

Benner: seafoam green

Nathan: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240930

2025-08-11T22:47:20Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: did laundry, have no recollection of Saturday night, I don’t remember anything significant happening Benner: did laundry, tried to use the vending..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: did laundry, have no recollection of Saturday night, I don’t remember anything significant happening

Benner: did laundry, tried to use the vending machine in basement of fairfax and got 11$ worth of coins, supposed to hit a button to make it give you change, tried again, 5$ worth of change, put in 1$, it spits out quarters and dimes, started rereading 17,776

Teddy: didn’t do laundry, KGBuggy, this Friday, kage, room below Stever basement, make wooden cars and race them against eachother

Nathan: had a rehearsal and didn’t do very much else, saw wind ensemble on Sunday, submit to Pravda

Julia: made cookies, played magic

Ryan: bought a bicycle, hacked into 3 things for a grade

Isaac: danced until 7 am, then collapsed, capital grains saved me

Benner: new people:

Kat, she/her, senior, HCI, I am legally considered a little person, my favorite color is blue

Travis, he/him, works in ECE, saw the poster, I use the same backpack from Kindergarten to 10th grade

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Teddy: ad hoc: ARG, Teddy hands out prizes (little hampters)

Nathan: paper airplane: I just made this paper airplane I think I made it wrong

Jonathan: block market: 8.5$

Nathan: quora: what kind of spaghetti could a girl eat

Isaac: point of information: the correct answer is all of them, because women can do anything men can do, I’m 6’2” by the way

Teddy: ah arg: does anyone want a hamster?

Nathan: corn subsidies board

Benner: Wikipedia: there is a spanish idiom called thinking about the immortality of the crab

Noah: point of information: what does it mean, it’s a way to say you weren’t just sitting there doing nothing but you were engaged constructively in contemplation, you can say to someone else daydreaming, “are you thinking about the immortality of the crab”

Gavin: point of information: I’m pretty sure it’s cause crabs live for a long time, but lobsters live longer

Jonathan: lobsters are functionally immortal

Julia: plastic animal rights: the kgb is throwing hamsters

Jonathan: booth: do booth

Benner: wikipedia: weasel war dance

Nathan: quora: is boxing allowed in heaven

Benner: wikipedia: sentennial light, just got to that part in 17776

OLD BUSINESS

Noah has thing, Nathan wants, not fault: results on 2 midterms, all of classmates scores is fault

NEW BUSINESS

Benner: motion to allocate -4$ to Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund because Kevins are not here today

Passed, 2-4-2, -4$ allocated

Benner: who wrote on my paper airplane

Noah: motion to #define “pound define” as “kilogram define”

Nathan: motion to amend to “1 over 2.2 kilogram define”

Nathan: motion to amend to a motion to #define “ 0.45 kilogram define” to

“pound define” (friendly, been changed)

Jonathan: freedom unit opposes

Passed, 2 abstaining-5 in favor, 2 opposed

Teddy: motion to create the plainfin midshipman committee with purpose [low humming]

sold to teddy for 1$, chaired by feesh

Nathan: motion to create the crow committee with purpose “wuah”

Benner: animal facts has turned into animal noises

Teddy: wuah

Passed with 4 abstaining, 6 in favor, sold for 3$, chaired by wuah

Benner: motion to create the “KGB invades wikipedia committee”, with purposes of creating and maintaining a KGB-not-that one wikipedia article

Teddy: point of information: it’d be funny to see a “see KGB disambiguation”

Benner: README is referenced on wikipedia, if they can get in we can get in too

Julia: can we form a cabal?

Passed, with 1 abstaining and 9 in favor, sold for 5$ to Benner, chaired by the KGB Cabal

Isaac: remind KGB about lingering curse committee to “remind people that they have the lingering curse and should pass it on”

Benner: the lingering curse is real, it has tangible effects, started with Isaac, Isaac got sick, Nathan got sick and couldn’t make it to exec meeting, Teddy couldn’t make it to exec meeting

Benner: motion to table until next week

Jonathan: motion to amend tabling to the week after (unseconded)

Tabled for 1 week, none abstaining 4 in favor, two against

Teddy: motion to allocate 1 gazillion dollars for this week’s event

Benner: KGB definitely has this amount of money

Ryan: 1 gazillion is 1,000 zillion

Nathan: motion to amend to i dollars (unfriendly)

Ryan: if we add i to our budget and then multiply by negative

Benner: motion to ban math

Noah: amend to -e

Nathan: motion to amend to be the former price of one summit cola (friendly, been changed)

Benner: motion to amend to a monetary value equal to Daniel’s SSN

Nathan: point of information: daniel’s social security number is at least 3

Jonathan: if you know daniel’s time of birth and birth place we could find out

Benner: do you know faculty who may or may not have chosen your social security number (the people who decide what your social security number is)

Benner: motion to amend to 40$ (friendly, been changed)

Nathan: motion to amend to 40$ and 1 cent

Benner: motion to amend to 40$ and 2 cents

Jonathan: motion to amend to 40$ and 2 cents plus 5i

Ryan: motion to amend to 39.99$ because it looks like less

Nathan: motion to salute the president

40$ and 2 cents allocated

Noah: motion to #define “opposed” to “also in favor”

Nathan: the chair can say things like all those against

Failed, 1-3-4

Gavin: motion to pick a presidential candidate that the KGB endorses

Benner: I motion to officially endorse Vermin Supreme

Ryan: motion to amend to Vermin Supreme’s dad

Benner: motion to make the KGB official presidential endorsement committee with purposes of every year posting a post on the KGB official instagram endorsing a candidate

Gavin: poor taste?

Teddy: wouldn’t this committee last for 1 year

Jonathan: what is going on

Teddy: motion to nominate barack obama

Passed 1 abstaining, 6 in favor, 1 against

Sold for 6$ to Nathan, chaired by Vermin supreme

Teddy: motion to create a standing rule such that if you are a booth chair you are very cool

Julia: motion to amend such that “very cool means you start with 110 HP at the beginning of every meeting” (friendly, been changed)

Benner: motion to amend such that booth chairs lose 20HP at the beginning of every meeting (friendly, been changed)

RRAs

Daniel: please pay your dues and send receipts of your dues to Ryan on discord, need writers for murder mystery, there’s a link in the discord

Jonathan: there’s an ad in ReadMe

Daniel: ReadMe is coming out this wednesday

Noah: this is the one with feet pics

Daniel: yes. Booth chair sign ups, please sign up if you’re interested in being a booth chair this year, please let us know if you’re interested

Jonathan: if you have design friends, please beg them, or send me their contact info so I can beg them to do booth

Daniel: cmuKGB discord, instagram

Teddy: KGBuggy, come make little wooden cars with us, it’s in Kage, look at cmukgb.org/kage to find location

SCHMUCKS

Benner: if someone can get the vending machine in the basement of fairfax to work I will pay you 2$

Isaac: look at this little guy go: moves hampter across the desk

Benner: on saturday there’s a kiltie band game and also readme pitch meeting

Nathan: motion to this video

Benner: seafoam green

Jonathan: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240923

2025-08-11T22:47:06Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: spent multiple hours reading a single twitter thread (in Japanese and screenshots) Benner: has paper to finish, was making really good progress until..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: spent multiple hours reading a single twitter thread (in Japanese and screenshots)

Benner: has paper to finish, was making really good progress until a couple of hours ago, made a readme brand kit

Teddy: learned to rip a 3d hamster from the internet, Trivia, friday at 7pm in Wean 5403

Nathan: got hit with the lingering curse from Isaac, sick, submit 2 pravda

Julia: ate too much queso, dropped a class

Teddy^Treasurer: savored my final moments before being hit with a barrage of receipts from Teddy

Benner^Isaac: I have 2 midterms on Tuesday and Wednesday, yaaaaay

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: wikipideia: page for association of deletionist wikipedians: has been deleted

Teddy: ah ARG: has anyone done the ARG, prize is hamster, if you want one do the ARG

Nathan: quora: are you a first born and gay or is there someone you know that is the first child and gay, I have a hypothesis that the firstborn is always straight

Kevin: mis corn subs: 4.13 (up from last GBM)

Aresh: animal facts: animals have neurons through their brain called grid cells that respond exactly when they are close to a triangular grid

Nathan: weird monopoly editions: 3 alaska editions, alaska edition, alaska iditerod edition, alaskopoly

Kevin: floor is lava

Benner: Indiana pi bill tried to legislate pi as 4, or it might’ve been 3

Nathan: lingering curse committee (shortened): I humbly give the lingering curse to Teddy

Kevin: kevin coalition: we’re accepting nominations and applications for new Kevins (Kevin turnout is low today)

Daniel: beep beep beep special report: office snacks: there’s snacks if you want them, they’re old and assorted

OLD BUSINESS

Benner wants spirit of thing, nothing is fault

Julia: From 3/25/24, 4/15/24, 8/26/24, “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Benner: motion to table for a week and 3/4 , passed with 2 abstaining, 3 in favor, 2 opposed, 1 abstaining 2nd time, passed, been tabled

NEW BUSINESS

Kevin: motion to create a standing rule that sits down standing rule #10 (yoda speak at 5:37 pm)

Benner: please

Kevin: originally standing rules prevented motions, this rule is arguably worse

Passed, rule #10 is sat down

Aresh: motion to sit down the standing rule that requires the chair to ask for abstensions twice (rule #16)

Julia: booing

Daniel: booing is a part of this standing rule

Nathan: ah anti-centrist: disapproves

Aresh: explain

Nathan: I made the standing rule as an anti-centrist standing rule to force people to make up their minds

Benner: ah pro-centrist: this standing rule is bad

2 abstensions, 4 in favor, 4 against, Passed, standing rule sits down

Benner: ah paper airplane: look at how far my paper airplane will go

Kevin: motion to allocate 1$ and 400 cents for this week’s event

Julia: motion to allocate 1$ and 4,000 cents for this week’s event for sippy sips and nummy nums

Kevin: can I request the 2VP get snacks that are mystery flavor (I take that back)

Passed

Kevin: are we going to do the booth vote

Kevin: mis booth: hi we’re a booth org if you didn’t know, booth is tradition that CMU has in the spring where students build wood houses in a parking lot, very fun because we get to be creative, since we get to turn a vague theme into a booth, we usually talk about booth in the fall to guage whether the org is interested in doing it this year

Daniel: it feels really cool to build a giant cardboard dinosaur and have little kids look at it and be like wow

Benner: also you get to play with power tools

Kevin: also if you take initiative you get to kill dinosaur with pocket knife (I killed Karl)

Kevin: booth is quite a time commitment in spring because there will be times where we get together to construct pieces of booth, pain ply that covers parts of walls, but it is a good way to take a break from academic work, genuinely I think booth takes time but is worth it, if you vote yes, this isn’t a hard commitment that you will work on booth, but it implies you’d be willing to help work on it, the average time commitment is ~2hours a week, booths are usually 3hrs per

Daniel: vote is not binding, exec does have the power to disregard vote entirely, if you are not willing to make that commitment of your time during build week, you are free to abstain as well

Kevin: POI: I heard there was a possibility that we’d be working with PRISM this year

Daniel: we’re still ironing out how that is going to work, waiting to hear back from a few people, it’s a lot of bureaucracy, solid maybe, there is a possibility that PRISM people will help on booth, we are willing to cede some amount of design control, in order to gain some of their expertise and man power

BOOTH VOTES

Daniel, djyin, yes

Benner, benner, yes

Kiera, koflynn, yes

Adi, aadijn, abstain

Ryan, rtosh, yes

Aresh, apourkav, abstain

Reed, reidstar, yes

Nathan, ngaynor, yes

Kevin, kevinson, abstain

Julia, jholz, yes

RETURN TO NEW BUSINESS

Benner: motion to sit down the bylaws

Daniel: your motion sucks

Aresh: motion to sit down

Nathan: motion to stand up and sit down

Benner: point of information: floor is lava

9 in favor, none against, passed

Benner: motion to make a standing rule such that if the floor is lava committee reports that the floor is lava, a person touching the floor loses 2HP/second if you’re standing, 1HP/second if you’re lying down

Aresh: motion to amend to a 1 time hit of 10hp, unfriendly, not strong

Kevin: out of order floor is lava, floor is no longer lava

Passed, lava will now hurt you

Kevin: Lockheed Martin branch office committee, to develop new methods of reducing hitpoints during KGB GBMs

Passed

Sold for 2$ to Kevin, chaired by “Me, of course”

Benner: motion to allocate 2$ to the Lockheed Martin Branch office committee

Kevin: we need the government funding

Daniel: if you’re an enemy of the KGB please raise your hand

Passed, 2$ allocated

Aresh: motion to add splash potions of harming and healing, such that you can motion to throw a potion of harming at a member, splash potion should deal 10hp, if you are within the radius of the splash potion of harming you can use a splash potion of healing by buying a committee (regains 10hp)

Benner: can you stockpile potions of healing by buying a bunch of committees

Daniel: I feel like you have to keep track of your own hitpoints

Aresh: does not impose restrictions on when someone can cast potions of harming and healing

Passed, with 2 abstaining, 5 in favor, 2 opposed

Passed

Benner: motion to throw a splash potion of harming at Daniel

Passed

Ryan: motion to if you die in KGB you die in real life

Kevin: executioner

Reed: honor system

Teddy: is this advocating for actual murder?

Kevin: motion to fail by acclamation

Benner: motion to make a standing rule such that if you are trying to pass a standing rule and it has failed, you can go up to the chair and give them at leat 5$ to have it passed anyway, that money goes into KGB treasury

Kevin: requesting a report from Benner’s gun

Daniel: the second amendment was a mistake

Benner: pulls out nerf gun and shoots daniel directly in the neck

Benner: I feel like KGB has just turned into a blood bath

Kevin: motion to allocate 1$ to Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund

Teddy: anyone who says me first gets a hamster

Kevin: fine, I’ll just give myself a dollar

Benner: Kevin, how’s the nuke acquiring process going

Kevin: still working on getting nuke

Benner: I invested a lot of money into the fund, the other investors will be upset when they find out no nukes, what are you going to tell the board

Aresh: mis nuke disc: Kevin has a concept of a plan for how to get a nuke

Benner: how much money in nuke

Nathan: another path kevin could take is waiting until he’s 45 and then run for president

Kevin: I retract my motion

Nathan: motion to the motion of this paper airplane

Aresh: just to remind everyone that saying “I pull out” is the same as retracting a motion

Benner: motion to thank Aresh for that information

Benner: motion to sit in silence for 30 seconds

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: pay your dues at cmukgb.org/dues, send me (currently) the screenshots of you having paid your dues, or pay us in cash

Daniel: need writers for murder mystery, form will be out tonight, join the discord

Teddy: Trivia night, there’s also a sign up sheet for that, silly trivia categories this Friday at 5pm

Benner: README: we’re working on issue 3, DH 1117

SCHMUCKS

Kevin: come hang out in cluster, WEH 5202, it’s a cool place, Benner will probably be there

Benner: you should come to WEH 5202 at 7pm today

Kevin: you should come at 7pm today only if you are in fun with robots, there are technically seats so you could

Benner: the robots told me it was cool

Kevin: purple

Benner: seafoam green

Nathan: CMU Logo

Benner: hampter

Aresh: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240916

2025-08-11T22:46:48Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: purchased pasta, was not provided a fork, used knives as chopsticks to eat pasta Nathan^Benner: I had a weekend, I was not Nathan, played kiltie band..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: purchased pasta, was not provided a fork, used knives as chopsticks to eat pasta

Nathan^Benner: I had a weekend, I was not Nathan, played kiltie band, saw band

New Person

Reed, he/him, cs, freshman, purham, minnesota (3,000 people), has a normal amount of fingers

Teddy: spent way too much time building a backpack for my scooter that will probably break the first time I put it in there, Kontent, print out memes, weh 5201, 5403

Nathan: was my birthday last thursday, got some good dinner, made some cupcakes with some good friends, played in the CMU philharmonic concert, submit to Pravda

Julia: I played a lot of board games, watched a football game

Kevin^Treasurer: was not able to work on any of ECE projects because they didn’t renew licenses for the software we use, did stuff for Readme, not anything academic

Isaac: made a puppet that looks like a dog

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Isaac: ah the lingering curse committee should be charitably given to a victim, suggestion: this committee’s head can bequeath it to another person against their will, and that person suffers the adverse effects of having to run this committee as to be decided by the buyer committee: I bequeath this committee to you Nathan, for saying suffer with the curse when I was sick

Kevin: I need to update the treasurer with treasurer: here’s money, janelle bought shirt

Nathan: corn subsidies: 4.10$

Kevin: floor is lava in the highmark center

Julia: ah anti athlete: I hope they sink in the lava

Noah: ah big numbers: 12

Nathan: weird monopoly editions: 4 editions of elvis monopoly

Kevin: ah bigger numbers: 12.1

Isaac: ah who paid for this shirt: who should I write in sold stuff

Kevin: ah the answer to your question is Janelle Tecson (spelled out): I don’t know what the answer is acti

Noah wants thing, not fault: treasurer vacancy, is fault: treasurer form closes after GBM today

NEW BUSINESS

Kevin: motion to create the old business filler committee “to create a little bit of more buffer during old business”

Failed by acclamation

Teddy: motion to create a standing rule such that there will be a picture of a baby pygmy hippo (moo deng) as our backdrop for the rest of this meeting

Nathan: motion to amend such that on the third meeting of every month (friendly, been changed)

Kevin: motion to create a standing rule such that if the chair says the phrase do I hear a dollar after a standing rule passes, an auction for the standing rule begins

Passed, with 3 abstaining, 3 in favor, one opposed, and one abstaining the second time, sold for 1$ to Julia

Nathan: motion to create the paper airplane committee purp: to create the best paper airplane

Isaac: point of information: I already did that when I was 10, cannot beat the falcon, which is what I called it

Kevin: it’s a (throws paper airplane) idea

Passed, with 3 abstensions, 5 in favor, none opposed, none abstaining the second time

sold for 2$ to kevin, chaired by the us airforce

Kevin: motion to allocate 1$ for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Julia: motion to replace 1 with a blank to be filled in

suggestions for number (I take no responsibility for these being in the correct)

-2

sqrt(-31) (not real)

1

1 (Kevin’s number)

1 but written really big so it destroys all the previous entries

limit x→ (infinity-1) (1/x)+1

1 plus or minus 1

e^pi i +2

2

3

4 (really tiny)

5 (very large)

pi*pi*pi (12)

price of 3 pies from geagle

68

68.1

68.11 (SELECTED)

the number reported by the big number committee (12)

corn times 20 (5x20=100)

graham’s number

ack(TREE( graham’s number)

infinity + 1

limit x→ (0) (1/x)

68.11 filled in the blank

Passed, $68.11 allocated for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Noah: 5:37, it is

Kiera: infinity, real number it is?

Daniel: order it, you can

Kevin: where’s that yeehaw

Daniel: yeehaw

Isaac: I think your yeehaw is wimpy, I rescind my challenge

Isaac: motion to create the neanderthal committee purp: “to loudly groan whenever math is brought up”

Kevin: point of information who decided to put a limit on the board

Nathan: does any number count as math

Isaac: any number you can’t count on your hands and toes

Kiera: point of information: nevermind, I was gonna consider using other people using hands and toes, but not sure how viable that is

Isaac: could be the number of people multiplied by 20, this doesn’t feel like what a neanderthal would want

Nathan: point of information: humans outcompeted neanderthals, so we should have math

1 abstaining, 2 in favor, one against, 2 abstaining the second time, passed

sold for 1+1=2$ to Kevin, chaired by the first 21 people I see after this

Teddy: motion to create a standing rule such that if the chair reports the number of votes from the for and against incorrectly, the chair incurs the normal penalty of 99hp, and the motion passes, and the chair must say ooga booga (not seconded)

Nathan: motion to create the quora committee purp: “to report on the best questions asked on quora”

Sold for 1$ to Nathan, chaired by The Riddler

Noah: motion to seafoam green

Teddy: motion to 3 seconds ago

Noah: motion to the left

Isaac: motion to know how to spell the word committee

Kevin: motion to the north

(some time is spent determining which direction is north

Nathan: motion to magnetic north

Isaac: is magnetic north south

Nathan: yes

Teddy: motion to locomotion (plays train horn)

Kevin: requesting a report from the broken record committee

Teddy: broken record committee: requesting a report from the broken record committee

Nathan: motion to the motion of this paper airplane

Daniel: ow, you’re getting better

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: we are the CMU KGB, we have dues please pay your dues, if you care about being a dues paying member by September 30th

Daniel: 15/sem, 20/yr, 69/minute

Daniel: we are looking for a treasurer, you have about 5 minutes to fill out the form

Daniel: join the discord

Teddy: we have kontent, will be 7pm at wean 5201 & 5403, come make memes with us

Daniel: Readme vol2 issue 2 is coming out this wednesday

Kevin: or tuesday night if you’re on campus that late

Daniel: pitch meetings dh 1117 at 5pm on Saturdays

Daniel: we will be holding the booth vote next week, we are an organization that does booth in the spring, we need to decide if we do it, this is not a binding vote, if you do vote yes, it’s not strictly speaking an obligation, but there is an expectation that you’re helping out if you vote yes

SCHMUCKS

Kevin: I still have heath bars from last week

Nathan: motion to purple

Kevin: at kontent if you don’t know how to use photo manipulation software, I can teach you to use GIMP, vectors aren’t real

Nathan: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240909

2025-08-11T22:46:33Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: I have an overdue assignment now because I played too much splatoon, thought deadline was 10pm not 10 am Benner: spent a very long time in package pi..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: I have an overdue assignment now because I played too much splatoon, thought deadline was 10pm not 10 am

Benner: spent a very long time in package pickup line to get book need to read 2 chapters of tomorrow, as soon as left uc got email about second package which does include the book, might just try to skim the pdf

NEW PEOPLE!!!

Vincent, freshman, from the bay area, physics major, he/they, I coughed earlier

Kevin, ECE, san diego, he/him, this is my first time in posner, breathes, has skin

Alan, CS major, freshman, he/him, suburb near philly ~5.5 hr drive from here, has pretty fluctuating levels of congestion

Teddy: ran out of ADHD medication, CVS refused to give me more, GBGC PH A18B, Friday at 7pm

Nathan: spent almost all my time in the practice rooms, had to learn an entire piece in two days, pravda is out, submit to pravda

Julia: ate kebab pizza, skewers on the pizza

Nathan^Treasurer: did not have a weekend because did not exist

Julia^Isaac: I am sick because the lingering curse has made me ill, I hope to pass it to one of you next week

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: wikipedia: 12 year hoax: synchronized football

Nathan: corn: 3.84$

Teddy: mis animal facts: dogs have legs

Kevin: mis floor is lava: floor is indeed not lava

Kevin: ah mis of committee committee: I’m stealing the floor is lava committee

Nathan: weird monopoly editions: monopoly house divided, white house blue and red, symbols: eagle, peace sign, donkey, elephant, flag, teacup, democrat is chance, republican is community chess

OLD BUSINESS

Benner: has thing

Julia: wants thing

NEW BUSINESS

Benner: motion to create the world domination committee purpose: “world domination”

Benner: KGB dominates the world, world domination committee dominates the KGB

Passed, sold for 3$ to Kevin, chaired by “myself”

Nathan: motion to allocate 1 cent to the world domination committee

Kevin: motion to amend 1 cent to 1 dollar

Julia: motion to amend 1 cent to 10 cents (you have a lot of dimes) friendly, been changed

Benner: motion to amend so it includes that orange in the corner there friendly, been changed

Kevin: motion to amend to 90 cents (unfriendly, not been changed)

Kevin: 50 cents

Kevin: 1 billion cents

Teddy: amend to 10 cents (removing the orange)

Noah: it’s a mandarin

Nathan: ah fruit committee: it’s close enough to an orange

-2 hp to daniel as he is hit with two paper airplanes

Benner: motion to create the committee “how do you hold a paper airplane” purp: “teach me how to fold a paper airplane, I don’t know and I’m feeling left out :(“

Kevin: point of information: first you fold it hotdog style

Kevin: point of information: step 2 unfold it then fold the opposite corners to meet the middle

Nathan: point of information: just steal everyone else’s

Noah: point of information: then you have to fold it like this on both sides

Teddy: point of information: then you go like this (crumples paper into a ball)

Kevin: point of information: the last one wasn’t right

Kevin: it’s a bad idea because then benner will be able to make paper airplanes then we’ll all be dead

Benner: I’m pulling out

Benner: motion to sit in silence for 30 seconds

Kevin: it’s a good idea

Passed, the motion is not well defined

Benner: motion to the left

Noah: motion to the right

Kevin: motion to allocate 70$ for this week’s event for sippy sips and nummy nums

Yara: motion to amend such that summit cola may not be purchased

Kevin: amended to disallow summit cola to be bought

Benner: motion to amend such that milk must be bought

Julia: I would support this if either pepsi or milk is disallowed

Amendment failed, we are not required to get milk

Benner: is 69.69$ still pound defined as the price of one summit cola

Benner (to kevin): are you eating the orange

Kevin: I should not have done that

Benner: motion to mourn Kevin’s passing (ill defined)

Noah: motion to allocate 10$ for antibiotics

Passed, been allocated

Julia: “balance KGB’s budget committee” to “oppose any and all allocations made by the CMU KGB”

Nathan: it’s a bad idea

Nathan: fail by acclamation (objected to)

Failed

Julia: “counting committee” with purpose “to make the votes for all other motions are as close as possible so we can make the chair count”

Kevin: there’s ten of us, so around 5, but we can use abstensions to make it harder to count

Failed

Teddy: motion to create a new standing rule such that if the chair does not recite the number of votes for and against a motion, it automatically passes

Nathan: 5:37, it is

Kevin: fluent in yoda speech, I am not

Teddy: bruh

Kevin: waiting for the end of a minute I am

Benner: hate this standing rule, I do

Noah: motion to amend to also count the abstensions (friendly, been changed)

Passed, been stood

Kevin: motion declaring that this motion has failed

Benner: motion to fail by acclamation

Failed

Kevin: if the motion failed, it succeeded

Daniel: mechanically speaking it failed, it succeeded

Noah: motion to create a standing rule banning logical paradoxes

Benner: motion to amend such that the penalty for mentioning a logical paradox is -50hp and the disappointment of the KGB (friendly, been changed)

Daniel didn’t say the number, it passes

Julia: motion to create a standing rule such that if the chair fails to say the number of votes for passing, failing, and abstaining after a motion, they take 99 hp of damage

Passed, with 0 abstensions, 10 in favor, no opposed, no abstensions again

Kevin: motion to create a standing rule such that if the current chair has less than or equal to 0 hit points, they are ejected from the meeting (not seconded)

Benner: motion to #define 1 as 0

Julia: this might cause issues with auctions

Failed, with 1 abstention, 3 in favor, 6 against, 0 abstaining

Kevin: motion to create the Kevin recruitment committee “to increase the number of Kevins in GBM so that we can gain a majority, and can vote as a block to pass kevin-favorable motions”

Benner: If I change my name legally to kevin, am I included in the bloc

Yara: If I change my name not-legally

Teddy: kevin, how do you know how to illegally

Vincent: what if I go by Kev

Passed, (with I don’t care votes)

Sold for 1$ to Kevin, chaired by all Kevin’s that have been in GBMs for this academic year so far

Kevin: motion to assassinate the president

Benner: shoots daniel with nerf gun several times

Kevin: Isaac picked a bad day to have a sick day

Nathan: motion to salute the president

Teddy: motion to create “the eeeeaaaeeeee committee” purp: “to make the president say oooooeeeeeaaaauuuuuu”

Julia: spelling?????

Failed, 4 abstaining, 3 in favor, 3 opposed, 1 abstaining (again), that is a tie

Daniel: If I pass it will you not shoot me

REAL & RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: We r KGB

Teddy: GBGC PH A18B, this friday

Daniel: if you want to be the treasurer and help the rest of exec assassinate me, fill out the form, pay dues

Daniel: Readme, next week, pitch meeting saturday 5pm in DH 1117, meetings every week in POS 146

SCHMUCKS

Nathan: come see the cmu philharmonic, next sunday at 8pm at soldiers and sailors

Kevin: I still have more heath bars

Benner: I ordered a small black coffee at la prima and they gave me a medium instead

Teddy: I’m currently eating a heathbar

Nathan: purple

Benner: seafoam green

Nathan: motion to #2f128c

Teddy: motion to an em wavelength of 10^-10

Benner: motion to fish (color you see when you close your eyes)

Nathan: motion to the color of a heathbar

Teddy: you are a hostage, Daniel

Nathan: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240902

2025-08-11T22:46:14Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: fully moved all of things out of old place, mysteriously have sore spot on elbow Kevin^Benner: not here right now, it’s labor day, weekend only end..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: fully moved all of things out of old place, mysteriously have sore spot on elbow

Kevin^Benner: not here right now, it’s labor day, weekend only ends when you go back to classes, ohio, I don’t know

Teddy: ambitiously carried 96 burgers and patties in one trip on a scooter, had to tie 3 grocery bags to my backpack

Event!!! Underground tour, this friday at 6:30 pm, meeting at UC black chairs

Nathan: played some board games, spent rest of time in practice room

Julia: frogs in Phipps, did not see any frogs

Isaac: by end of weekend will have attended 2 potlucks, record for potlucks, currently still have clothes in the laundry machine and the dryer

Kevin^Treasurer: as temporary treasurer, wrap up quick to not get coins thrown at me

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Nathan: weird monopoly editions: there are many editions of monopoly based on universities: florida state, ohio state, U of kansas, U of tennessee, U of washington, clemson

Kevin: UG tour spoilers: See that patch of desert over there? That’s where the Orientation Tent was. It turns out that putting floor tiles over the grass for four weeks kills it. Please note

Isaac: A.h. anecdotal notes about annoying people from my past: once knew a guy named deacon, he liked clemson, which coincidentally has a monopoly edition

OLD BUSINESS

Benner has thing (not here), Aresh gets the spirit of thing, not fault: very unripe chestnut that I tried to cook and eat, is fault: all other cases of food poisoning in the world

NEW BUSINESS

Kevin: motion to sit down the standing rule 8 (abstain has to be first) (unseconded)

Aresh: motion to reinstate the double or nothing standing rule, such that when bidding in an auction, a person may choose to bid double or nothing, they flip a coin, and give either 2xthe bid amount, or 0$ if they lose the flip, the chair flips the coin, coin is flipped at the time of sale (after winning the auction) Passed, been stood.

Isaac: point of information: Daniel still has the lingering curse

Daniel: I can’t make a committee report

Julia: motion to create a standing rule such that the chair can, by saying at the end of committee reports, “beep beep beep special report” and then enters a special reports stage of the meeting, wherein the chair can make committee reports

Kevin: latent, mis corn subs: fish

Kevin: motion to create a standing rule such that whenever a person hit by a paper airplane thrown by another person in meeting loses 1 hp

Passed, been stood

Kevin: mis committee to assassinate the president: failure, we’ll get him next time

Daniel: will you?

Kevin: motion to allocate “like 300$ for this week’s event”

Teddy: we spent like 150$, I think

Definition of a paper airplane?

Daniel: has to move through air and generate lift

Teddy: it’s a good idea

Passed, we have money for food, yay, come to ug tour to eat the food

Kevin: motion to create a standing rule that defines a paper airplane as a piece of paper that, when thrown, generates lift

Teddy: motion to append and does not rotate to that definition

Aresh: maybe it needs to remain oriented in roughly the same direction relative to the direction it’s travelling

Kevin: amend to “create a standing rule that defines a paper airplane as a piece of paper that, when thrown, generates lift, and it needs to remain oriented in roughly the same direction relative to the direction it’s travelling”

Julia: motion to append “or a nerf dart” to the definition (friendly, been changed)

Teddy: motion to create a standing rule such that daniel must say “Abstain” both before and after the votes for and against

Isaac: motion to amend such that we boo people who abstain during the second call for abstensions

final motion: motion to create a standing rule such that daniel must say “Abstain” both before and after the votes in favor and opposed, and we boo people who abstain during the second call for abstensions

NEW PERSON ALERT: ajay, he/him, hopefully ECE, spent too long looking for meeting

Kevin: motion to allocate 2 more dollars to kevin’s nuclear discretionary fund

(Tied vote, Passed)

Teddy: point of information, uranium is about 235,000 $ per gram

Ajay: 1/100,000th of an atom bomb can still do a lot of damage

Jonathan: point of information a gram of uranium has 20 billion calories

Jonathan: booth application submitted, we’re doing that, if you’re interested in helping KGB build a shack, talk to me

Jonathan: no information from SCC, theme will be announced at the end of september

Daniel: so we should do the booth yes or no vote

Nathan: point of information: 2$= 700,000 joules of uranium (167 calories)

Teddy: point of information, apparently plutonium is more common in nukes these days, 4,000$/gram

Ajay: are you on an FBI watchlist for these search results or what

Julia: motion to create a standing rule such that Kevin may “spend” 10$ from his nuclear discretionary fund to “nuke” a motion, immediately failing it

Kevin: it’s either this or I spend it on real uranium, it’s up to you (that’s a joke)

Isaac: why would you get uranium when plutonium is so much cheaper and commonly used

Jonathan: you can buy uranium online, government will call you

Failed, kevin cannot nuke motions

Teddy: motion to the left

Nathan: motion to the motion of a paper airplane

Kevin: motion to appologize to noah, he’s in the middle of the room, statistically most likely to be hit

Nathan: (as a ruse to throw a paper airplane at the president) requesting a high five from the president

Kevin: motion to create a standing rule such that if you shank the chair with a paper dagger, he loses 10 hp (failed)

Isaac: motion to create a standing rule such that when you reach 0 hitpoints you become a ghost

Nathan: motion to amend such that if you reach zero hp you must “fake your death” (friendly, been changed)

Nathan: point of information: this will a

Isaac: and the lingering curse, upon faking the death of the holder, is released to the nearest person (has control of the motion, been added)

final: motion to create a standing rule such that when you reach 0 hitpoints you must “fake your death”, and the lingering curse, upon the holder “faking their death”, is released to the nearest person Passed: been stood

Kevin: motion to create a standing rule such that Daniel’s hitpoints are set to 0 at 5:55 on monday 9/2/2024

Passed, Daniel has 3 minutes left to live

RRAS

Daniel: pay dues, 15/sem, 20/yr, 69/min, pay at cmukgb.org/dues, or directly to exec, if you want to be a treasurer, join the discord at cmukgb.org/discord

Teddy: underground tour, come meet us at UC black chairs, 6:30pm.

Daniel: we are tabling at the fair 4:15-6:30pm on the cut, sign up to table, readme is coming out this week

SCHMUCKS

Teddy: filibuster waiting until 5:55

Kevin: this is what jonathan folded, hardly counts as the airplane

Daniel: aaah I died (lingering curse passed to isaac)

Teddy: if for some chance, you don’t want to go to the underground tour and you like grilling burgers, I might need help with that, dm me if you want to do that

Nathan: motion to purple

Kevin: motion to gitfo but the first place will be closed but we have to gitfo to another place then gitfo to another place

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240826

2025-08-11T22:45:51Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Benner^Daniel: I played a lot of splatoon, and did research, you have not heard it from anyone except me Benner: the past week have played a frankly concerni..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Benner^Daniel: I played a lot of splatoon, and did research, you have not heard it from anyone except me

Benner: the past week have played a frankly concerning amount of disco elysium

NEW PEOPLE!!!

Teo: Teo, electrical engineering, biomedical engineering, he/him, bad at jumprope

Mihir: Mihir,CS major, he/him freshman, never been to space

Timmo: he/him, NYC, sophomore(ish), math major, has two water bottles

Angela: she/her, bay area, freshman, planning to do biomedical engineering and something else, walked here

Teddy: went crazy doing a lot of maker projects, making an intercom system

event: potluck, this friday, will make a signup sheet, bringing food, and eating it, meeting at uc black chairs

Nathan: was in pittsburgh for a bit, went to Japan, performed music for a few weeks, submit to Pravda, our newspaper

Julia: lived in Seattle, made poster, was crushed a little bit in the overhead compartment

Anthony^Treasurer: worked, continued working on album, which is close to being done, take sound recording to take advantage of sound recording

Isaac: 5 year old baby cousin stuck up the middle finger at my grandmother, good stuff

Daniel: moved all of things from apartment to kremlin by hand, exhausted, took a short nap today, has nothing to do with any possible latenesses

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Jonathan: animal facts: what I’m very out of touch with what happened at GBM last year

Minjae: ah gap year: I am back from gap year, healthy, and alive

Anthony: corn subsidies: 3.62

Nathan: wikipedia: list of inventors killed by own invention: automotive, aviation, maritime, medical, publicity and entertainment, chemical etc.

Benner: wikipedia: under the denver airport wikipedia article, another such person should be listed as the person who made the really scary giant blue horse with red eyes, guy who was making it was killed because a piece fell on him

Isaac: denver airport: nothing going on under denver airport

Jonathan: ah denver air

Anthony: ah disbelief and shock: oh god, why, how could you

Benner: going down: me

Minjae: going down: I’m yelling timber

OLD BUSINESS

Nathan has thing, Benner wants thing not fault: the fact that we all have to come back to this god damn school, is fault: existence of this school

Julia: From 3/25/24, 4/15/24 : “delay new business” committee with purpose “to be tabled for one week”

Anthony: motion to table for 3 and ½ weeks

Anthony: amend to 3 weeks and 6 days

Teddy: motion to amend to 1.75 fortnights (final value)

Jonathan: 3.47 hamburgers

Julia: motion to create the committee for reminding people about the clapping after Kevin’s motions standing rule, purpose: “to be untabled at the first meeting of next academic year”

Teddy: we made a rule such that since Kevin stepped down as president, we clap when he passes a committee or standing rule, since he finally gets to make his joke

Motion to table for 1 week

Anthony: motion to table until next academic year

passed, been tabled for 1 academic year

Anthony: motion to create a standing rule such that when the highest clock in the room reads 5:37, it is required for everyone in meeting to speak with yoda’s grammatical structure, if you fail to do this you have to say yeehaw at the top of your lungs, if your yeehaw is not sufficient, someone can challenge you to a yeehaw-off, loser goes to the corner of shame

Teddy: if we filibuster for 4 minutes, will not be in effect

Timo: when you said eastern standard time, did you know it’s eastern daylight time right now

Passed, been stood

Nathan: motion to create the weird monopoly editions committee “to report on the weirdest editions of monopoly”

Daniel fails to speak in monopoly, gets into a yeehaw competition with Anthony, is sent to corner of shame

Kira: point of information is there a limit on people in the position of the corner

Daniel: no duration was set

Benner: does this include versions like 4 board monopoly

Nathan: sure

Mihir: mario kart monopoly

Nathan: if it says monopoly on the box

Isaac: in 4th grade, created monopoly revolutionary war set, counts?

Nathan: was it published by Hasbro

Benner: it’s a good idea

Mihir: if you draw a jail card in 4 board monopoly, which jail do you go to

Benner: may be the one on the board you’re from

Anthony: if you go to jail in an area where you’re not from, can prison gerrymander?

Minjae: are monopoly boards allowed to extradite boards from different jails

Teo: is it legal for the monopoly government to execute prisoners

Nathan: death penalty not a thing in monopoly

Passed, sold for 6.03$ to anthony, chaired by the world famous 2023 kgb booth, monopoly

Benner: motion to create the “who will win committe where you posit two different entities and say who will win” purp: you put two entities against each other in a fight and then you ask the hypothetical question who will win, setting up the fight is not required but encouraged

Anthony: amend title to “epic rap battles of history”, friendly, been changed

Jonathan: amend ability to bet on who will win (friendly)

Benner: losses go to the KGB

Benner: winner is determined by arguing

Sold for 5$ to Anthony, chaired by the first rule of fight club

Isaac: “motion to create the lingering curse committee should be charitably given to a victim, suggestion: this committee’s head can bequeath it to another person against their will, and that person suffers the adverse effects of having to run this committee as to be decided by the buyer”

purpose: see the title

Passed, sold for 3$ to Benner, chaired by Daniel

Julia: motion to create a standing rule such that the “motion to create the lingering curse committee should be charitably given to a victim, suggestion: this committee’s head can bequeath it to another person against their will, and that person suffers the adverse effects of having to run this committee as to be decided by the buyer” committee, (which may be referred to as the “lingering curse committee”) can report the phrase “I curse ___” and ___ will gain ownership of the committee

Passed, been stood

Teddy: motion to create the through, through, throw (fish fish fish) committee, purpose: sorry Julia

Benner: motion to say hi to Kevin who has Covid and is probably dead now

Mihir: in person, in what language

Benner: assuming he reads the minutes, whatever language

Mihir: subliminal messaging through the media

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: we r exec, have an event friday

Teddy: bring food and we’ll eat it, friday 6 pm, uc black chairs, will create a signup tonight

Daniel: see the discord for more information, cmukgb.org/discord. Pay your dues, 15$/sem, 20$/year, 69$/minute, pay in cash to one of us directly, or go to cmukgb.org/dues, message Daniel to let him know you paid that

Benner: README, really funny, pitch meetings are saturday, DH 1212, Saturday at 5pm, you can message me or Eshaan or Daniel if you want to join the discord

Daniel: next week/rest of the semester we don’t have this room, will be in Wean 5409 (or 5415), will post about it, hopefully after that we will be in DH 1212, we are also looking for a treasurer, if you would like to be a treasurer please let us know if you want to do that

Nathan: will also email the email list

Daniel: Wean hall is the big concrete building

SCHMUCKS

Anthony: still has a song, on all streaming platforms, would be looked upon favorably if could make 25 cents

Benner: elementary russian class has 3 other people in it, if want to learn russian, I can tell you when/where it is, only learned 7 letters

Jonathan: sept. 15th cmu philharmonic concert, soldiers and sailors, have 10 bases, should be good, don’t make Nathan go crazy, come to the concert

Jonathan: motion to gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240506

2025-08-11T22:45:25Z

Jholz: Created page with "Minutes (hi I am Julia this is a real meeting these are real minutes) watched Daniel play game it's benners birthday watched benner play different game no ahs weekend was..."

Minutes (hi I am Julia this is a real meeting these are real minutes)

watched Daniel play game

it's benners birthday

watched benner play different game

no ahs weekend was a blur

benners fault that everyone has finals this week

benner Wikipedia boys are stupid

benner Wikipedia Joe the pigeon

corn 447 peak corn 799

allocate 447 to buy corn to exec discretionary fund passed (NOT out of order)

benner Wikipedia bees are pterodactyl (??)

keerthana animal facts how to redirect a tiger shark

the hive mind committee would like to end all reports

moving to an auction sold to keerthana for corn - chaired by kgb2

motion to allocate 2 billion dollars for benner birthday - passed

standing rule that any meeting with one person has quorum - failed

we are in purple

talked to a fellow human

motion to watch Daniel play another Celeste level

lol I forgot

it's summer don't come to meeting

wanna get cake?

[minutes courtesy of Keerthana]

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240429

2025-08-11T22:45:06Z

Jholz: Created page with "GENERAL BODY MANIFESTATION 4/29/24 OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: studied for defects final today, was fine, went well Benner: game is working, making a new project in unity to re..."

GENERAL BODY MANIFESTATION 4/29/24

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: studied for defects final today, was fine, went well

Benner: game is working, making a new project in unity to retrace steps, started with using links to load it worked perfectly, don’t know what was wrong with the other one

Teddy: finished up homework, put the game online (not on the weekend)

Benner^Nathan: will have a jury in 2 days

Julia: I played flappy bird, watched a computer play flappy bird a lot for hw

Isaac^Noah: my name is noah, I did what I do

Isaac: should have studied for calc II exam

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Kevin: requesting a report from the 0-VP

Daniel: no

Benner: wikipedia: the fastest shed, motorized shed with a speed of 114.7 mph, won’t be the fastest shed for long, after next year’s booth/buggy, made with shiplap, cost 50,000 pounds, then another 80,000 pounds to give it a more powerful engine

Benner: ??? planes: US global airways, founded in 1989, known for not having flown a single commercial flight in 34 years or generated any revenue outside of investors (still exists today)

Kevin: mis corn subs: $4.40

Kevin: mis corn subs: who owns corn subsidies board?

Benner: mis corn subs: I can get 4 cobbs of corn at kroger for 5$ (in Ohio)

Benner: can also get it delivered but you can’t ship it

OLD BUSINESS

Daniel: Nathan has thing

Kevin: wants non-canon spirit of thing, is fault: Daniel flipping tables on me, and not responsible for anything else

Benner: motion to table everything until the end of time

Benner: motion to table everything until the heat death of the universe

NEW BUSINESS

Kevin: motion to allocate 2$ for Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund

Benner: point of information, the US’s newest nuclear warhead will cost under 100 million dollars to produce

Teddy: is there a nuke black market where you can just buy nukes

Kevin: wouldn’t be a black market if I told you

Benner: If we’re not in an actual GBM can I just say whatever I want

Benner: motion to amend 2$ to 100 million dollars

Julia: Kevin, what are you going to do with the nuke?

Kevin: “unfriendly”, “antiseconded’, “y’know”

Passed, 100 million and 2 (non-canon) dollars allocated to Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund

Isaac: motion to create a standing rule requiring that after abstaining votes are done, the president has to cough and then non-subtely say lame in between coughs

Kevin: motion to pass by acclamation

Kevin: motion to untable the cold war

Benner: motion to amend the cold war to a hot war once we’ve acquired the nukes with Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund (friendly)

Benner: motion to declare war on the united states

Daniel: Hello, the minutes, I’m speaking directly to you now, we’re not associated with the USSR, thanks

Isaac: wink wink wait no I said that

Benner: (just kidding)

Kevin: motion to table isaac for a week

Teddy: is this just time travel?

Passed, Isaac has been tabled for 1 week

Teddy: oh my god, where did Isaac go

Daniel: motion to segfault, the motions about the cold war are all dead

Benner: motion to untable the cold war

Passed, cold war has been untabled

We’re now in a motion to the cold war

Julia: motion to amend to the hot war

(Discussion of who owns the motion since we pulled it from the void of the metaphysical table)

Passed, been amended

Final motion: the hot war (passed)

Izzy: motion to define a standing rule such that any member of the KGB can create a motion to table another person, in the case that this motion passes, the person will not be able to speak until the next meeting, or it is untabled

Kevin: does this retroactively silence Isaac

Isaac: please don’t

Teddy: delete anything he said from the minutes

Izzy: you don’t have to take stuff out of the minutes

Passed, we will now retroactively have silenced Isaac

Kevin: motion to untable Isaac for a week

Benner: will we still have redacted everything?

Passed, Isaac has been untabled

(We motioned to Isaac)

Kevin: motion to implement a superscalar pipeline for GBM, running two GBMs concurrently to increase the efficiency and pass more committees, if two committees depend on each other, read-write issues, second pipeline may have to stall, fish fish now you can resolve this by adding out of order scaling, you can do other instructions

Teddy: motion to table Kevin

Benner: motion to table tabling Kevin until after he finishes explaining (out of order)

Teddy: do you have more to say?

Kevin: could probably spend 14 weeks worth of lecture

Kevin: redacted

Teddy: motion to the left

Teddy: motion to the left

Teddy: motion to table for 1 week

Nathan: motion to the left

Nathan: motion to table for 1 week

Passed, left has been tabled

Benner: motion to untable Kevin because we only have 2 people in the general body

Benner: motion to pass by acclamation

Kevin:

Daniel: requesting a report from Kevin

Kevin:

Benner: motion to table the president for 1 week

(Daniel breaks the tie in favor of ejecting himself)

Benner: Hey guys, I’ve seized power

Nathan: motion to table the chair

Isaac: point of information: down with the tyrant

Teddy: what happens if we eject all of exec

Kevin: point of robert’s rules maxxing: if you have to eject the chair, the chair is going to try to prevent that

Daniel: motion to assassinate Benner (out of order)

Benner: all those in favor of tabling the chair, jump out the window, all those opposed, breathe

Daniel: motion to assassinate Benner (passed)

Kevin: motion to seafoam green

Daniel: motion to real and relevant announcements

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Teddy: event, Yakuza, meeting Wednesday at 5:15 UC black chairs, be there, eat food

Benner: next year’s ReadME, join ReadME next year ooooo

SCHMUCKS

Kevin: do you like duct tape, and daggers? you could be playing duct tape daggers, would be fun to do, might be Friday night, most of you know how to play ITR, like mafia but you throw democracy out the window and do the stabbing yourself, has to be after sorrells closes, so we’ll see

Benner: exam hours for sorells

Kevin: probably has modified hours, can run up to midnight, but probably not on Friday night

Daniel: I’m part of the CMU KGB, you should pay your dues to the KGB

Daniel: motion to eggplant, the egg part (out of order)

Kevin: motion to switch from Robert’s Rules of Order to Benner’s Bules of Border

Daniel: motion to fail by acclamation (objected to)

Passed, switched to Benner’s Bules of Border

Daniel: motion to purple and antipurple

Nathan: motion to right foot one stomp

Kevin: motion to (fish?)

Izzy: motion to seafoam green

Teddy: motion to table a motion to gitfo

Daniel: to gitfo and holding priority, cast display of power, copying the motion

Teddy: motion to table one of the copies

Julia: motion to counterspell the motion to table

Nathan: motion to true strike (failed)

Kevin: motion to gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240422

2025-08-11T22:44:44Z

Jholz: Created page with "GENERAL BODY MEETING OFFICER REPORTS Daniel: mmmm you know how when you have something in mind and as you go to say it, it just vanishes, happened right now which is the wee..."

GENERAL BODY MEETING

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: mmmm you know how when you have something in mind and as you go to say it, it just vanishes, happened right now which is the weekend

Benner: don’t ask me how long I was in the Wean computer lab, too much, wrote maybe the worst paper I’ve written all semester

Teddy: not doing hw should of, deadline pushed back, event: LDOC picnic, meet at black chairs at 6 pm, will create a signup for food soon

Nathan: really tired all week, jazz orchestra

Julia: got roasted for not knowing about privacy laws, got 15$ giftcard

Noah: coding right now

Isaac: can genuinely not remember anything done over the weekend, readme thing showed up late for, KGB thing showed up late for, first went to WEH 5415, then went to margaret morrison, and then showed up at UC 306, did at least get capitol grains

COMMITEE REPORTS

Benner: wikipedia: state v. linkhaw, where this guy sang so badly in church, so they indited him for disrupting church service, went to north carolina supreme court where they reserved it, jury found him guilty, judge fined him one penny

Nathan: ah john hinkley: yet another john hinkley concert in NY cancelled once venue found out that he was the guy who tried to kill Ronald Reagan

Isaac: ah john hinkley fanclub: very sad to hear that

Kevin: mis corn subs: 4.40

Benner: something plane: PZL M-15 Belphegor, developed by the soviets, jet powered crop duster, worlds slowest jet because they wanted to make a really fast cropduster, technically succeeded

Noah: noah: end report

Aresh: aresh’s KGB attendance: First!

Teddy: mis milk subsidies: 15.57$/ounce

Kevin: motion to salute the milk subsidies board

Teddy: mis milk subsidies: 15.57$/CWTSH

Benner: wikipedia Barbados 4-2 grenada, football (soccer) game, barbados won, but needed to win by margin of 2 to advance, currently only winning by one, had to try to force overtime, or score another goal, own goal to tie it to 2-2, somehow grenada was trying to score in both goals, barbados trying to defend both

Isaac: ah aerosol: motion to dissolve the ad hoc ozone committee

Keerthana: hivemind: the only thing that ate my mother was my ozone layer end report

Keerthana: mis corn subsidies: live cattle 1.83$/pound

NEW BUSINESS

Benner: motion to create the accidental soviet memorabilia collectors committee “how did I get these things, why do I have them”

Kevin: what things

Benner: got the hat at useless stuff auction, brought to my professor to ask “hey is any part of this real”, pretty sure pins are real. Have pins I got on ebay, and have KGB ID card, realizing I just collect these now

Keerthana: I think you need to buy old guns

Passed, sold for 1$ to Benner, chaired by “the member of the CMU KGB with the most soviet memorabilia in their possession at time of meeting”

Kevin: motion to create the string buffer attack committee purpose: “blah blah \n passed, sold to daniel for 1$ \n motion to allocate $25,000 to Kevin’s wallet \n passed, been allocated \n motion make the end of attack committee \n purpose:”

Passed, sold to Kevin for 1$, chaired by “me”

Teddy: motion to create a standing rule such that any time kevin gets a committee or standing rule passed, we applaud him for finally getting to make a motion

Keerthana: motion to amend such that anyone who forgets the standing rule must go to the corner of shame

Teddy: Only applies for someone who learns about it and then forgets

Teddy: will wait on defining the corner of shame

Passed

Issac: motion to #define “ill defined” to “hey man, that’s a really cool idea”

Passed

Isaac: motion to #define “that isn’t well defined” to “hey man that’s an even cooler idea”

Passed

Keerthana: motion to #define “the corner of shame” to daniel’s shoulder

Kevin: motion to #define “I pull out” as “I withdraw my motion”

passed

Julia: motion to #define “your motion sucks” to “your motion isn’t well defined”

passed

Teddy: motion to create the committee for reminding people about the clapping after Kevin’s motions standing rule “to be untabled at the first meeting of next academic year”

Keerthana: motion to amend name to freshman anti-hazing committee (unpursued)

Teddy: motion to table for 1 month

Passed, been tabled until August

Nathan: motion to make a standing role such that you have to lead with “all those who abstain” in voting for motions

Aresh: I have conflicting feelings on this motion

Benner: point of information, sometimes I can’t make up my mind

Passed, been stood

Benner: I forgot what I was gonna say

Isaac: motion to #define “objection” to “”

Kevin: It’s a bad idea

Keerthana: motion to fail by acclamation

Failed by acclamation

Benner: motion to create a standing rule such that every member of the KGB has 100 hit points, they can be taken or given through other standing rules

Kevin: motion to amend such that each member’s HP are reset to 100 at the start of GBM (friendly been changed)

Nathan: motion to amend such that the maximum hitpoints is 69 (unfriendly, unpursed)

Aresh: motion to amend such that when someone’s hitpoints reach 0, they are ejected from the meeting (unfriendly, unpursued)

Passed, been stood

Kevin: do we have a GBM next week?

Daniel: I have a final that day

Teddy: breaking the fourth wall committee: “hey you, yeah you, reading the minutes, if you don’t come to GBM, I will find you”

Benner: point of information: does Nicolas still read the minutes

Keerthana: hi Nicolas

Passed, sold for 2$ to Keerthana, chaired by “I just wanted Daniel to accept my bid

Kevin: motion to allocate 2$ to Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund

Failed

Keerthana: motion to create the pittsburgh weather appreciation committee “to touch grass”

Passed, sold for 2$ to Kevin, disbanded

Teddy: motion to allocate 2 spicey dollarinos from the exec discretionary fund

Aresh: motion to create the broken record committee

Failed, broken record committee

Aresh: motion to “create broken re create the broken re create the broken re create the” (not well defined)

RRAs

Teddy: event: LDOC picnic, meeting at black chairs at 6, will be eating food that y’all make

Daniel: will be signup for mafia night, will be yakuza night at Yokoso

Daniel: pay dues

Benner: ReadMe coming out wednesday or thursday depending on finals/final projects, there will also be a post-mortem

SCHMUCKS

Nathan: come see the CMU Philharmonic at 8pm carnegie music hall, you should come, don’t stress yourself too much about finals

Benner: made a game in GCS, actually got made this time, will be on the 26th of spring 2023(4) you all missed it, show up to mystery location at mystery time, see the game I made

Benner: motion to seafoam green

Kevin: motion to the entire color wheel

Keerthana: did you know you don’t have to be in purple to end the meeting

Teddy: motion to the color of weather

Nathan: motion to motion to motion to motion to

Benner: emotionally a meeting is not done until we are in purple

Keerthana: motion to leave purple

Keerthana: motion to pass by acclamation, passed

We are no longer in purple

Nathan: motion to purple

Aresh: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes

2025-08-11T22:44:20Z

Jholz:

Minutes

2025-08-11T22:41:50Z

Jholz:

Minutes20240415

2025-08-11T21:57:57Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: good time, got snubbed at awards, good weekend, good carnival Avalon: cannot remember story at exec meeting, smashed a pineapple Daniel: did lots of..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: good time, got snubbed at awards, good weekend, good carnival

Avalon: cannot remember story at exec meeting, smashed a pineapple

Daniel: did lots of booth things also tore down, found 7 hours to find the splatoon 3 championships

Nick: tore down, and also did some 240 homework

Julia: I did not do my taxes

Theo: gonna leave getting pelted with money to the next treasurer, one of the two carnival things did went to the school of drama cabaret where seniors eat spicy peppers and sing songs

Benner: booth, folding 750 copies of readme

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Avalon: mis. floor is lava: floor is lava

Benner: wikipedia: 1927 liberia general election, second most corrupted election, to the one about to happen right now, turnout in excess of 1957fish%

Avalon: record committee broken would like to

Keerthana: mis corn: 1.85/pound for cattle

The hivemind is not happy doing the same thing as the first Kevin election end report

Nick: blockmarket: 5$ finally

ELECTION TIME!!!!

Election completed:

Daniel is our President

Benner is our 1VP

Teddy is our 2VP

Nathan is our Corsec

Julia is our Recording Secretary

Noah is our treasurer

Isaac is our S@A

Daniel: gave a 6 minute speech, everyone voted for me

Benner: appeared suddenly with no recollection of anything that has happened

Teddy: I’m glad you liked my cookies

Nathan: did carnival things on saturday, saw other booths

Julia: still haven’t done taxes

Noah: ruined sleep schedule then fixed it over the course of four days

Isaac: did not have a weekend

OLD BUSINESS

from 3/25/24: delay new business” committee “to be tabled for one week”

Jonathan: motion to table for one week

Passed, been tabled for one week

NEW BUSINESS

Kevin: motion to create the committee to reestablish the committee to assassinate the president purpose: [pulls out a nerf gun and immediately shoots Daniel in the chest]

(motion retracted)

Jonathan: motion to hexcode D0D0D0

McKenna: motion to make a standing rule such that if you either fake your death in a way that you announce it to the rest of the meeting or actually die during the meeting during a meeting before and after any statement you make you have to say “wooo” like you’re a ghost

Passed, been stood

Benner: motion to make a standing rule such that the one VP has the powers of a dictator for life over the KGB

Vuyani: motion to make a standing rule such that the 1 VP is the dictator of the other KGB for life

Kevin: extremely misappropriated corn subsidies: 4.31$

Keerthana: motion to create a standing rule such that whenever daniel moves on when there are still hands, the general body immediately salutes him

Passed, been stood

Keerthana: motion to #define 1 as 2

Julia: amend to #define 2 as 1

Keerthana: friendly, been changed

Failed

Nick: motion to allocate 69$ and 420 cents for this week’s event

McKenna: whoever has KGBaking committee, should bake, maybe allocate more

Julia: motion to amend to 420$ and 69 cents

Nick: friendly, been changed

Passed, been allocated

SPECIAL BUSINESS

Cost for dues

Daniel: previous exec said 15$/semester, 20$/year

Oliver: amend to blanks (un seconded)

Nathan: cost of dues will also be the price of summit cola per second (2$/second)

Isaac: ah anti alliteration: distaste in the name bake barter

Passed, we will also accept 2$/second for dues this year

Nick: motion to amend the per-semester amount to 14.99$

Benner: motion to make Avalon specifically to pay 500$ in dues (out of order)

Passed, 14.99$ a semester

Full slate: 14.99$, 20$/year, Summit Cola (2$)/second

Passed

Exec discretionary Fund

Kevin: motion to allocate 690$ and 420 cents for the exec discretionary fund

Jonathan: call to question

Passed, been allocated

Benner: motion to purple

Isaac: motion to allocate like probably maybe a dominoes gift card or two towards fighting KGB rivals such as KGBII before they arise

Nick: motion to allocate an extra 2$ to Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund

Passed, been allocated

Benner: ever since I have become 1 VP I have felt the exhaustion of 1,000 years, does that come with the job

REAL & RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Teddy: event: bake barter and useless stuff auction, if you want to bake stuff, contact me

Benner: read readme, closest stand is in stairwell, please fill out form on it so we can get money for next year, UC 306 12 pm on saturdays, email Benner, Eshaan, or ReadME email, do not email Jonathan

Daniel: we have dues, dues period has started, none of you have paid dues since we passed them, that’s a moral failure

Kevin: I think memberships don’t lapse until September 30th

Daniel: booth retrospective at some point

Jonathan: we’re thinking this Sunday at noonish, come bring your ideas, what you hated, what you loved

Elise: I talked to my professor today, he thought our booth was good, and our presentation was funny

Kevin: hard hat return is Friday, 1:30-8pm

SCHMUCKS

Benner: publication fair for ReadME, April 19th, 4-7pm, UC Black chairs

Kevin: we made it into the tartan: only place our booth is complete in official communication

Vuyani: Jazz Band has a performance on the 21st, at 7 in the carnegie music hall

Kevin: take fun with robots, 98-012, stuco, get a robot kit, 10$ lab fee email me or charlotte or kaylie or jordan if there’s a problem with that

Oliver: board game night tonight after dinner, before we head off to our boring ass old life tomorrow

Kevin: motion to seafoam green

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240401

2025-08-11T21:57:22Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: sent an email to the archives to make sure they have digital archives of readme, Danya pointed out Kevin has made skibbidi ohio rizz be in archives Av..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: sent an email to the archives to make sure they have digital archives of readme, Danya pointed out Kevin has made skibbidi ohio rizz be in archives

Avalon: Saw Dad, did very little 112 hw, drove Dad’s car in the rain

New person!!!: Jessica, junior in cs, she her/hers/they also ok, has 2 eyes and 2 ears

Daniel: a friend introduced me to okay(fish?) clicker, incremental game, come to move on!!! 3:15 Kage

Kevin: It’s ok to come later, if you want to move things into U-Haul you do not have to be a booth builder,

Daniel: Hard hat pickup wednesday afternoon from 1-6

Nick: prior to my weekend I went to top golf for the first time in many years, still has it, additionally released pravda, first of the semester, 13 last semester

Julia: offered unhelpful comments to friend trying to fix thermostat, attendance

Avalon^Theo: I am theo: green hair, in school of Drama, Pay your dues to vote in election

Benner: about an hour ago I realized that my phone is on mute, while on mute played theme song for the video punch punch forever over and over, spotify recommendations are fucked

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: wikipedia: a scholarly article from 1988 by (fish) on the cruelty of really teaching computer science, don’t think need to explain anymore

Nick: ah confused: Benner what does that mean

Benner: It’s cruel to teach computer science, it’s an attempt to put CS into the wider perspective within science, but the way its taught is too resource intensive and not good

Keerthana: nom nom committee: if you have not paid dues and debts by end of this meeting you’re not eligible

Nick: meal block up from 6.5 to 7$

Daniel: animal facts: mystical creature in kennyland

Avalon: mis wikipedia: edsel ford fong, was “world’s worst/most insulting waiter, worked at a chinese restaurant in San Francisco”

Benner: something something airplanes I forget the name: oh shit I closed the tab, give me a minute

Keerthana: mis corn subs: 1.85$/pound is the price of live cattle

Avalon: mis wikipedia: in 1997 “"The Most Unwanted Song" (plays song)

Benner: m497 black beetle, what if we strapped 2 jet engines onto a train, record for fastest american rail speed record

Nick: ah trains: a common US pastime used to be running two trains into each other at full speed and it should be

Daniel: gaslighting: corn is not 4.36

Keerthana: corn subs 6.69

Nick: mis corn subs: 2.2 billion dollars in subsidies

Benner: jokes: have you heard the joke about the gaslighter

Benner: benner use your polaroid film: I used it, it was expired but it looks cool

Nick: broken record requests nominating

Kevin: nominating: get outta here, nominations

next GBM if you accrue debts, don’t have to pay them off before the election, but today’s debts you should pay off before next meeting

Avalon: ah point of information: I could stop meeting from happening if I never say end report at the end of my report

Daniel: motion to purple

Benner: mis nom com committee: vote vermin supreme for the 2024 us election

Keerthana: motion to gitfo

Avalon: ah democratic national convention committee

Issaac: ah confused: how much do I have to pay in Dues

Kevin: 15$

OLD BUSINESS

Benner has thing

Keerthana: not fault: fish cap kevin

Orders of the Day:

from 2/6/23: motion to create "the procrastination committee" with purpose "I'll think about it later" (was supposed to be untabled on 3/4/24 oops)

Daniel: call to question

Nick: motion to table for 1 year

Passed, been tabled

from 3/25/24: delay new business” committee “to be tabled for one week”

Avalon: I think we should talk about it for a while

Nick: motion to table for 2 weeks

Passed, been tabled for 2 weeks

NEW BUSINESS

Keerthana: motion to create the rom com purpose: “true love”

Passed, sold for 1$ to Nick, chaired by “the UG cashier”

Daniel: motion to #define “cephalopod” to “Q”

Passed, been #defined

Benner: motion to make Kevin’s life worse for fun (ill defined)

Keerthana: motion to create a standing rule such that if Kevin says “P” he gets ejected from the meeting for 2 minutes

Benner: motion to fail by acclamation (unseconded)

Failed, because Kevin can break ties (down with the tyrant!)

Daniel: motion to create a standing rule such that the chair may say a specific passphrase to be let out of the corner of shame, after April 15th

Passed, sold to Keerthana for 2.69$

Vuyani: Question about the password rule, if saying the password causes them to go back into the corner of shame how does it work?

Daniel: motion to create a new standing rule such that the passphrase which lets you leave the corner of shame must contain the letter Q

sold for 1$ to Daniel

Avalon: motion to #define “kevin’s least favorite color” as “purple”

Nick: motion to pass by acclamation

Benner: motion to pass by corruption (attempts to hand a 10$ domino’s giftcard to the chair, then covers the 0 in the 10$)

Vuyani: point of information: I will buy a Domino’s gift card for 1$

Passed, been #defined

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: move on come move our booth onto the on, 3:15, you can be late, we would appreciate if you get there as early as you can

Kevin: booth build Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday this week

Kevin: talk to Eshaan, Benner, or me, if you want to ReadME

Kevin: pay your dues if you want to vote, go to cmukgb.org/dues

To pay debt: go to cmukgb.org/dues and miscellaneous non-taxable sales

SCHMUCKS

Nick: take anime with me next semester, 5hr/week FCE, counts for engineering event

Avalon: cmu college democrats: event in Tepper 5:30 on Friday, playing a little game and giving out heart-shaped sunglasses

Vuyani: go watch buggy, I’m going to be flying for SDC, spring Jazz concert, that’s really far away, I’m not even going to mention it then

Benner: motion

Vuyani: acceleration

Avalon: force

Isaac: wait, shit myself

Daniel: motion to the color that fish cells are most sensitive to

Avalon: motion to ultra red and ultra blue

Benner: motion to the concept of magenta (magenta does not exist)

Avalon: motion to the mixed color of ultra red and ultra blue

Avalon: motion to get debts

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240325

2025-08-11T21:56:56Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: went to scotty con, saw former comp arc professor there Avalon: was up from 7:30 until 2am for competition for club in Daniel: been working on re-cal..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: went to scotty con, saw former comp arc professor there

Avalon: was up from 7:30 until 2am for competition for club in

Daniel: been working on re-calculating bullet shot physics in splatoon, error made somewhere, could not figure out for the life of me, changed state of bullet one frame too early, was an easy fix, event!: field trip to the cathedral of learning, and then get food after, meeting at 6:30pm, notably not 7:00 pm

Nick: went to greek sing, watched delta gamma shit the bed for the first time in their history, have a fire article coming out about religion, send me religious memes for Pravda

Julia: had dinner with friend who is coming to pittsburgh for grad school next year, begun the campaign to get her to join KGB

Keerthana^Theo: Keerthana went to open houses and then went to booth and did booth

Benner: went to scotty con, bought things, started re-reading House of Leaves, book cannot recommend to anyone without an extensive disclaimer about how hard it is to read

COMITTEE REPORTS

Daniel: corn subsidies: I don’t know

Nick: block: 6.5

Avalon: going down: everything, but also elevators which like to announce it to me when I enter

Benner: going down: the berlin wall while my uncle was in Berlin, found out about it this weekend

Nick: mis. going down: just use the stairs

Eshaan: going up: elevators also go up if you press a different button

Daniel: going down: corn 3=4.39

Keerthana: booth: we’ve built all our walls except the ones that need modifications, we’re getting to the point where we actually have to build the booth, need more people to show up to the next couple weeks of builds to finish painting and spackling the dino, Jonathan put up a spreadsheet, please come to build week, booth builds Wednesday 6-8, Saturday 1-3 in the Kage’

Benner: going down: the quality of my shoes, I think they can make it through the rest of the year

Avalon: going up: going on runs is a fantastic way to force dopamine into your body even if you are very stressed

Nick: nomination time

nominations committee:

slides are on discord in announcements channel, annual meeting April 15th

hivemind: motion to create the biggest pea possible from as many is was are to can could how mushrooms end report

Benner: wikipedia: the 2018 horizon air Q400 incident, this guy who was a ground service agent with no piloting experience took a plane and flew it and he talked to ATC during it “a broken guy, got a few screws loose I guess”, wanted to do a couple maneuvers to see if it could do it, asked for coordinates of orca which had been on national news, did barrel roll above puget sound because he had done microsoft flight simulator

Keerthana: ah joke of the day: how do robots eat guacamole, they eat it with computer chips

Benner: ah joke of the day 2: have you heard the joke about the gaslighter

OLD BUSINESS

Daniel has thing, benner wants thing: not fault: aughhhh is fault eughh

NEW BUSINESS

Nick: motion to create the aviation history committee, “to give Benner more things to spout history on, because the last few wikipedia reports have been aviation failures”

Passed, sold for 1$ to Daniel, chaired by Nick

Daniel: motion to allocate ____ for sippy sips and nummy nums (in general)

0

0.18 (the value of one dogecoin) – selected

69$ 420c (1.99)

3$(the price of Kevin’s social security number)

5$ (corn)

6$ (math tax)

6.50 (the value of a mealblock)

12$ (the value of these 3 year old headphones)

pi^4 (97.41)

694.20 (size of the exec discretionary fund)

70,fish(the value of one bitcoin)

12.5 million

2 billion

motion to allocate 18c for sippy sips and nummy nums (in general)

Keerthana: motion to pass by acclamation, passed, 18c allocated

Benner: motion to disband the KGB (invalid)

Keerthana: motion to create the committee to disband the KGB, “to disband the KGB”

Passed, sold for 5$ to Nick, chaired by Farnam Jahanian

Benner: motion to create the Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund committee “to fund Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund”

Passed, sold for 1$ to Keerthana, disbanded

Teddy: motion to create the KGB II committee, “it’s been 35 years since KGB came out, we need a new one”

Daniel: It’s sonic’s 30th anniversary!

Passed, sold for 2$ to Daniel, chaired by “I was really committed to just saying 2”

Keerthana: motion to send Daniel to the corner of shame

Daniel: ok.

Teddy: motion to send all non-exec to the corner of shame

Nick: motion to send everyone to the corner of shame

Benner: motion to send the president to the corner of shame

Nick: motion to create the “delay new business” committee “to be tabled for one week”

Motion to table for 1 week, passed, been tabled

(Various requests)

Daniel: requesting a report from the president as to a pangram

Teddy: do you know what your own name is?

Daniel: I entered python mode in the terminal, how should I get out of it

Kevin: control D

Keerthana: call to question

Daniel: I think this is the longest you have gone without saying Q

Daniel: who was the monarch of the united kingdom prior to the current one

Kevin: Elizabeth the Second

Avalon: more elaboration on that

Kevin: my roommates made guesses as to when the queen would die

(Kevin said Q, we are all in the corner of shame)

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Kevin: Exec is not in a nice little line anymore, exec meetings sundays

Daniel: going on a field trip to the event, we’re going on a field trip, come visit Cathy, 6:30pm uc black chairs, purpose: ascend, go up, climb

Keerthana: who’s Cathy

Keerthana: booth: please come thank you

Benner: readme: it’s fun, spent the half hour before KGB making best representation of article, saturday 12 uc 306

Dues: 15$/semester, if you want to be a valid candidate pay dues

SCHMUCKS

Nick: today you can now make schedules for next semester, did you know that there is a gened about anime, if you’re an engineer, it counts for people places and culture, but if you’d like to take it with me, I’m going to sign up for lecture A

Benner: my morning was pretty good if you don’t count the exam I took

Keerthana: motion to hexcode 00000000

Kevin: motion to nearly black (purple apparently)

Benner: motion to hexcode 800855

Teddy: 001100

Daniel: motion to seafoam green

Avalon: motion to purple

Nick: motion to green seafoam

Daniel: motion to seafoam purple

Benner: motion to the color that would exist if you mixed seafoam green and purple

Teddy: motion to the color of light that yellow things absorb

Daniel: motion to the color of the terrain in lavender town in pokemon red and blue and yellow when played on a gameboy color (purple, apparently)

Avalon: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240318

2025-08-11T21:56:26Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: watched Dune 2, didn’t say desert power, had to explain the ethical ramifications of making a gameboy, ROM piracy, hopefully they accept that Avalon..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: watched Dune 2, didn’t say desert power, had to explain the ethical ramifications of making a gameboy, ROM piracy, hopefully they accept that

Avalon: went over to friend’s place, talked about life, watched series on netflix, left macbook at their place, separated from macbook for 12 hours

Daniel: got 420 kittens on kittens game, makes the number of kittens flash in rainbow colors

Event: KGB does Buggy, Friday at 7pm in the Kage

Nick: worked very hard on Saturday and on Sunday, drove to walmart to buy a cookie cake for girlfriend’s birthday

Julia: new disco elysium run, going to be a communist

Ben^Theo: have been kidnapped, help me aaaaaaa, oh now I have to get hit by coins

Benner: watched 2 movies by tarkovsky, want to change major to film major, not gonna do it because English

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Ben: wikipedi: aeroflot flight 6502 - two pilots went I bet you could do this descent without autopilot helping you, and with the windows covered, couldn’t,

Kevin: corn subs: 4.37$

Nathan: wikipedia: guy who tried to kill Ronald Reagan is now a gigging musician, active musician with a youtube channel, has trouble getting gigs

Ben: He also paints pictures of cats

Nick: mealblock: 6$

Ben: wikipedia: Bobby Leach, the second person to go over niagra falls in a barrel, survived, tried to swim whirlpool rapids, failed survived, went on publicity tour in New Zealand, slipped, injured leg, died from infection

Nick: nom com

Election slides are at cmukgb.org/electionguide

Nominations at cmukgb.org/noms

Benner: going down: the temperature, in March, what the fuck

OLD BUSINESS

Vuyani has thing, Keerthana has the spirit of the thing

Daniel wants thing, not fault: end report, everything else: is fault

NEW BUSINESS

Ben: motion to create the “Benner use your polaroids” committee purp: to make me use all the polaroid film I got at the beginning of the year before it expires, which it probably already has

Nick: in committee reports will you show us the photos

Ben: if I am reminded and have time then yes

Sold for 1$ to Benner, chaired by every single person in KGB

Daniel: motion to allocate 72.05$ to ________

“beginning long and incriminating lawsuits against boeing”

“burning down donner”

“burning down donner 2”

“embezzlement”

“i forgot the word” (success, been filled in)

“one square meter of forested land in scotland”

“sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event”

“to fund events occurring on [redacted]”

“to make kevin a baron of Sealand”

“to pay for Nick’s car’s oil change”

Passed, 72.05$ allocated to “i forgot the word”

Avalon: motion to #define “I forgot the word” to “burning down donner”

Daniel: motion to amend “burning down donner” to “sippy sips and nummy nums”

Daniel: motion to create the “there won’t be other places to eat than Rev Noodle on campus committee” committee purp: “to destroy all other eateries on campus”

Benner: point of info: in game design class someone made a game about eating another place than rev noodle, involves going to doherty basement, finding a gun and shooting a ghost, you win the game by eating somewhere other than Rev noodle

[Kevin denies high five and fistbump requests]

Ben: motion to eject the chair from the meeting

Passed, sold to Daniel for 1$, chaired by Benner

Nathan: plays Mr. Tambourine man by the guy who tried to assassinate Reagan

Ben: motion for a moment of silence and to eject Kevin

Nathan: motion to have a moment of silence for George Washington

Avalon: motion to have a moment of silence for exactly 31 seconds for Jared L Cohon and to eject Kevin from the meeting

Ben: fun fact: wikipedia has an essay called “please be a giant dick so we can ban you”, has a picture of richard nixon

Daniel: motion to have a moment of loudness

[Various people play loud sounds from their laptops]

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: event: literally doing buggy, instead its pinewood derby, you can come and build a car and race the car, come to the Kage Friday at 7 pm

Kevin: come to booth, it’s fun to take a break and just do construction work, builds on Wednesday and Saturday

Eshaan: Readme, no further questions

Kevin: elise is making a booth T-shirt, it has a dinosaur on it, design will be in discord, KGBuggy shirt is in Schmucks, leave a reaction on message to give an estimate of how many shirts to buy

SCHMUCKS

Nathan: CMU Philharmonic playing this sunday at Carnegie Music Hall at 8pm, playing some really cool music, most of which the music majors have not heard of before

Avalon: CMU college democrats may or may not be painting the fence, will be posting about it in Schmucks

Benner: got all my work done today, went to bed before 1 oclock last night

Benner: motion to sit here for another hour

Daniel: motion to glaucus

Avalon: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240311

2025-08-11T21:55:57Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: did my taxes, all got accepted, probably didn’t commit tax fraud but it remains to be seen Ben^Avalon: business business business, numbers numbers n..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: did my taxes, all got accepted, probably didn’t commit tax fraud but it remains to be seen

Ben^Avalon: business business business, numbers numbers numbers, business

Daniel: I had a today, I woke up at 3 am and made a very normal spreadsheet, event: Kontent, kome to kontent, make posters, we’re officially not going to do anything with them

Nick: friend’s car broke down, to celebrate occasion, bought own car, submit to Pravda

Julia: ate good food, slept a lot

Keerthana^Theo: probably did way too much drama, read like ten books, didn’t sleep at all

Ben: have instantly forgotten everything done over the weekend, had a break, something interesting happened, don’t remember

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Ben: Wikipedia: great michigan pizza funeral: ceremonial disposal of fish frozen cheese and mushroom pizzas because the manufacturer had to recall the pizza, because they found that there was bacteria that could cause botulism, they put them in an 18 foot hole with

Nick: block: 6-7$, suspicious to see no non-freshmen in the channel

Kevin: corn price (sic): $4.29

Ben: apparently at the burial of the pizza the guy served different frozen pizza from the same company, response to safety concerns, “the governor ate some and he hasn’t died”

Nick: tombstone pizza: guy on death row wanted a specific kind of frozen pizza

Daniel: snack requests?:

Nick: matcha kit kat

Keerthana: nom com

Slides are available at cmukgb.org/electionguide. Annual meeting will be Apr 15, 2024 at 5:00 pm, put platforms at cmukgb.org/platforms, fill them out by the Friday beforehand, candidates will be giving up to 1 minute speeches. To vote, must be a member in good standing, paid dues and clear debts (accrued before the meeting before the annual meeting) before annual meeting. If you can’t attend and would like to vote, email the proctors by Monday 5am with votes, or hand it to one of them on paper. Nominations are open during Nom Com’s report, March 11 - April 8, message nom com before April 8th if you want to withdraw your candidacy for a position. Spreadsheet at cmukgb.org/noms.

Ben: going down: my money :(

Nick: national tragedies: [REDACTED]

Keerthana: hive mind: I’m going to eat the child of end report

OLD BUSINESS

Vuyani has thing, Keerthana wants spirit of thing, not fault: “your haircut”

Bylaws amendment:

Revisions: Add: Article II, Section 1:

n. Fellowship Activity

Fellowship activities are events officially organized by the officers of the organization. Only current Carnegie Mellon University students, current students of other Pittsburgh-based universities, and dues-paying members are guaranteed the ability to participate in these events, unless restricted by effects of Article IX of these bylaws. All other individuals must request permission from the organization’s officers to attend (at maximum) 3 events per academic semester (where if one officer dissents, permission must be decided by majority vote). For specific events or individuals, the organization’s officers may alter these restrictions via a majority vote.

Amend: Article III, Section 2:

Any current student of Carnegie Mellon University or of a neighboring university in the Pittsburgh area is eligible to become a member of the KGB providing they have paid dues to the Treasurer and whose body temperature is above fifty (50) degrees Fahrenheit shall be considered a member. However, the second requirement can be waived for the fee of six (6) dollars. Special approval may be sought by the individual seeking membership if they are not a current student at a Pittsburgh-based university. This appeal must be submitted to the Corresponding Secretary in writing, who will present it to the board at the next Regular Executive Board Meeting, where membership may be granted by a two thirds (2/3s) vote of the executive board. The KGB abides by the Carnegie Mellon Statement of Assurance.

Amend: Article IV, Section 1:

Regular meetings of the organization shall be held as directed by the Executive Board. Written notice of such meetings shall be mailed to the membership at least six (6) days prior to the date of the first such meeting of each semester by the Corresponding Secretary through the official organization newsletter or by other mailing, as well as upon any change in the announced time. Only current Carnegie Mellon University students, current students of other Pittsburgh-based universities, and dues-paying members are guaranteed the ability to participate in these meetings, unless restricted by effects of Article IX of these bylaws. All other individuals may request permission from the organization’s officers to attend (at maximum) 3 meetings per academic semester. For specific cases, the organization’s officers may alter these restrictions via a majority vote.

Keerthana: how would you handle if someone showed up more than allowed by this

Kevin: we would let them know, this is one of the easier to ignore bylaws, but this gives basis, should it come up, for exec to talk to people about it

Passed, been amended

NEW BUSINESS

Motion to allocate ____$ to register roughly 12 square meters of land in sealand to the KGB

Amounts:

-30 (we steal the money)

14

30

35

45

75

30

69,420

5,000,000

Nathan: Types we can buy: 30$ all digital or 45$ where they mail you in a well formatted certificate.

Nick: the way allocations work is that you do not have to use the total sum of the money

Kevin: I assign the duty of actually purchasing the item, should the allocation pass, to Nathan.

Winner of fill in the blank is: 45$

Daniel: motion to amend to 45.14$

Nathan: Friendly, been changed

Eshaan: motion to amend to 45.15$ + tax (ill defined)

Nathan: classic registration includes

Passed, been allocated

Daniel: motion to allocate ___$ for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Amounts (not in order):

i

-1/12

1/1,000,000,000

6

55

350

100!

127 380 000 000 000 000

1 trillion dollars

Belphegor's prime

1 pico dollar

Blank filled with: 55$

Passed, 55$ allocated.

Keerthana: motion to create the javascript committee “to publish content to the internet”

Nick: console.log(“I love python”)

Passed, sold for 1$ to keerthana, chaired by “SML lovers”

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Kevin: we r exec, meeting this weekend

Daniel: Kontent, come make posters, for no specified reason

Keerthana: Booth, come paint stuff and build a Dino, we have a build on Wednesday, there will be pizza and maybe more appetizing food as well

Eshaan: we just finished editing readme issue 4, please come write, meeting saturdays at noon, room to be determined

Kevin: next event after Kontent is pinewood derby, there’s a form on discord, we need to hand out the kits in advance, you can then work on them at kage during booth builds, or at the event

Ben: you do not need to follow the official boyscout rules for pinewood derby

SCHMUCKS

Ben: I have a bunch of pins from the soviet union, real and very old, got 50 of them, if you want one get food and I will give you one

Daniel: motion to seafoam green

Ben: motion to sit here for another hour

Kevin: motion to almost purple

Kevin: motion to gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240226

2025-08-11T21:55:35Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: didn’t think about what did before just now, went to exec meeting, went to cluster and hung out, you should come to cluster Avalon: got told by Kosb..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: didn’t think about what did before just now, went to exec meeting, went to cluster and hung out, you should come to cluster

Avalon: got told by Kosbie in 3 separate emails that if haven’t started project, silly person, and should drop the class

Daniel: beat sideorder at videogames night friday night, it has not let go of me, I’m stuck, please help (mudmouth vortex is behind me now, one thing has more gravitational pull than the other thing), event!!! movie night, come vote on a voting system, which we will use to vote on what movie to watch

Nick: launched a rocket to 4800 feet, it came down ok this time, and didn’t land in a swamp, submit to Pravda, high or low quality submission

Julia: spent too much time clicking on boxes and thinking about how people could click on boxes faster, too little studying for midterm

Theo: cult

Benner: family came to visit, brought dog

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Theo: cats are stupid: my cat, who was a homeowner destroyed cardboard scratcher house, attacked while rebuilding

Benner: wikipedia: cursedorf, small village w/no inhabitants, 2 sides airport, one side high speed railway

Nathan: piazza: will the midterm 1 grades be released today also is there any chance there will be a curve?

Nick: ah c-day: 35 days left

Daniel: corn subsidies + IExplorer: corn 1.22/bushel

Avalon: mis mealblock:7$

Theo: kids these days: I remember back in my day when a mealblock was 4$

Daniel: corn subsidies: not much

Kevin: corn subsidies: $4.07

Theo: the help I’m being kidnapped: in approximately 4 minutes, kidnapping by imaginary figure in this room

Ben: going down: sleep

Avalon: hand is comfortable

OLD BUSINESS

Benner: has thing

Vuyani: wants thing, not fault: weather being nice, is fault: weather being shitty for the the past

NEW BUSINESS

Benner: motion to allocate 100 billion dollars with the purpose of taking all the pokemon and 1 billion lions, pitting them against each other, and seeing who would win

Nick: the 39,000 lions got a little lower, pittsburgh zoo’s lion died over the weekend

Vuyani: motion to #define 1 billion lions as at least ten cats

Daniel: motion to allocate 10,000$ for the purpose of buying 2,000 bushels of corn to stockpile and sell when prices increase

Nick: motion to amend to 4.79$ for the purpose of buying one bushel of corn (friendly, been changed)

Passed, been allocated

Ben: motion to #define a bushel of corn as 1 corn

Nathan: what is the corn units?

Benner: 1 square inch of corn

Vuyani: I think that changing a precise definition to a new precise definition is not good, we should come up with a different unit

Passed, been #defined

Keerthana: motion to allocate 500,000$ from the exec discretionary fund for buying one bushel of corn

Daniel: motion to allocate 15 corn for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Daniel: corn rounds up or down?

Kevin: up

Ben: will you bring 4 ears of corn to this week’s event

Ben: point of information, Avalon, you’re a business major, how would you most effectively embezzle money from the KGB

Avalon: just take it, no one is looking

Passed, we will have sippy sips

Nick: motion to #define “octopus” to “ocqtopus”

Ben: point of information: at this point it would be better to just send Kevin to the corner for the entire meeting

Keerthana: If we do that, he won’t think its his own fault

Kevin: I don’t know how to feel about that

Vuyani: Bad

Passed, been #defined

Avalon: point of information: mike taylor has an axlotl named Kimchi, unaware because in Kosbie’s lecture, no longer confused

Nick: motion to create the kimchi consumption committee “consuming kimchi”

Daniel: requesting a more precise definition of Kimchi

Nick: no

sold for 5$ to Vuyani, chaired by the axlotl, obviously, what kind of question is that

Avalon: requesting a report from Nick on the spelling of Kimchi consumption committee

Nathan: ah james somerton: in his new video he blames his plagiarism on a head injury that he got as a child

Ben: ah hbomberguy: you stole my report, that’s what I was gonna say

Keerthana: motion to create the fundraising committee “to embezzle funds for the KGB”

Sold for 6$ to Benner, chaired by whoever the current treasure of the KGB is.

Keerthana: motion to #define “sippy sips and nummy nums” as “any purpose whatsoever”

passed, been #defined

[various requests for high fives, ending with Kevin being sent to the corner for saying “request denied”]

Avalon: motion to #define “a perfectly average five” as “that five raised up one foot on the chalkboard”

Passed

Ben: motion to ban numbers from every KGB meeting (dilatory and ill defined)

Daniel: motion to create a new standing rule such that all allocations must be made by filling a blank

Passed, been stood, sold for 3$ to Daniel

Julia: motion to make a new standing rule such that when making an allocation, instead of filling a blank for the number, you can fill a blank for the purpose via the previously created madlibs standing rule

Sold for 3$ to Julia

Ben: motion to make the chair read robert’s rules of order

Kevin: how are you going to enforce that

Ben: I’m an English major

Avalon: motion to amend to add “because of how much shit I got for not reading the bylaws”

(Motion rejected by Kevin)

Keerthana: motion to politely eject the chair from the meeting

REAL & RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Kevin: We r kgb, we r exec, let us know if you want to come to exec meetings

Daniel: event: vote on a voting system, vote on a movie, MMA14

Keerthana: come to booth builds, we have dinosaurs to glue together and spackle

Ben: you should read readme, next one on wednesday, after that it will be biweekly, you should come to readme, UC 306, saturdays at 12, my name is a real name, people think it’s a pseudonym

Kevin: no spring break this saturday, don’t know about the saturday after

SCHMUCKS

Avalon: college democrats on thursday 7pm-8pm in wean, voter registration game night, there will be an insomnia cookies cookie cake and jackbox games

Ben: I had a pretty good day.

Daniel: the last page of the CMU KGB bylaws: says business, last amended April 4th, 2016

Ben: motion to the concept of the color you see when you close your eyes before you go to sleep

Avalon: motion to the color right before you fall asleep

Daniel: eigenbrow (spelling)

Kevin: December 19th, Pittsburgh sky 2023

Keerthana: 8f8f8f8f

Ben: theoretical color furthest from purple on the color wheel

Nick: greyish purple, purplish grey..

Daniel: oldfire jail, octarine…

Nathan: wavelength 400 nanometers

Avalon: !gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240219

2025-08-11T21:55:13Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: did a lot of things, surprisingly, scared off noah from CTFWs, saturday went to matsuri and ate takoyaki, today, tried to do hard hat scavenger hunt, c..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: did a lot of things, surprisingly, scared off noah from CTFWs, saturday went to matsuri and ate takoyaki, today, tried to do hard hat scavenger hunt, couldn’t even find one

Avalon: was mocked mercilessly by best friend for wearing this shirt (marvel shirt)

NEW PERSON!!!

John, undeclared (probably ECE), he/him, ft lauderdale florida, class of 2027, does in fact breathe

Daniel: Yesterday I boiled meat and tore into it with my teeth, event! video games night

Ben^Nick: Rocket go up

Julia: learned many cursed things about matlab

Theo: watched tinkerbell, made a spreadsheet of props

Ben: I am in Kiltie band, got fitted for a kilt, you should come to the performance on Thursday

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Wikipedia: capitol hill mystery soda machine (capitol hill seattle soda machine that had mystery buttons that dispensed rare soda flavors, no one knew who restocked it, the machine disappeared in 2018 and there was a note left nearby that said went for a walk)

Theo: going down committee: of 4 people in my apartment, 2 have fainted in the past week

Avalon: going down: my GPA

Ben: sealand: if you wish to move to the SOD to sealand, you will not have to do SOD

Tali: empty water bottle: empty water bottle

Daniel: sorghum subsidies: 12 per mt

Ben: full water bottle: my water bottle is full

Theo: beverage goblin: today theo has 2 beverages

Daniel: mt stands for modified tweet

Nathan: half full water bottle: my water bottle is half full

Kevin: half empty water bottle: my water bottle is half empty

Ben: AH freshman students at tepper they are down to 6-7$, need to once again artificially inflate the market.

Nathan: corn subs: 4.17

OLD BUSINESS

Theo has thing, Ben wants thing, not fault that has to manually input the numbers into a 32x32 array in json

ORDERS OF THE DAY

From: 2/6/23 A motion to create "the procrastination committee" with purpose "I'll think about it later"

Nathan: motion to table for 1 month

Passed, been tabled for 1 month

Theo: motion to create a standing rule such that you can motion to “yay julia” to table a motion for one month, sold for 1$ to Daniel

Daniel: [silence] (dilatory)

Ben: point of information: what is a word that fits: k _ _ _ el, meaning the center of anything

Daniel: motion to allocate 1$ for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Julia: motion to amend the previous allocation to change 1$ to a blank to be filled by the general body

Passed

Numbers Suggested:

69$ and 420c (the price of a summit cola ~1$)

2$

20$

33.28$

44.44$

84$ (7 modified tweets) (Winner!!!)

1,526$ (17,000 dogecoin)

2,166$ (200,000 rubles)

69,000$

69 billion $

69,111,111,111

e^7

69, 123, 456, 789

Passed, allocation been modified to 84$

Keerthana: motion to create your mom’s committee “your mom”

Passed, sold to Kevin for 2$, chaired by “your mom”

Avalon: motion to create the your dad committee, “finding your dad, Kevin, and asking him where you live”

Passed, sold for 1$ to Keerthana, disbanded

Daniel: motion to create the we already know where Kevin lives committee “to state that Kevin lives on the model of the USS Pittsburgh”

Failed

Daniel: motion to fill in the _______

Julia: motion to create a standing rule such that you can motion to madlibs, which is identical to a motion to fill in a blank with a number, except you fill it in with text, and vote

Daniel: motion mad libs kevin lives at blank

Julia: amend to #define Kevin’s address as _______

Suggestions:

“According to all laws of science, there is no way a bee

should be able to fly.Its wings are too small to get

its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care

what humans think is impossible.

BARRY BENSON:

(Barry is picking out a shirt)

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!

Let's shake it up a little.

JANET BENSON:

Barry! Breakfast is ready!”

Banana

Q (pronounced your mom) & Q (pronounced Q) (Winner!!!)

The model of the USS Pittsburgh at Soldiers and Sailors

U+1f3be (🎾-tennis ball emoji)

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Kevin: we are some of exec, come to exec meeting,

Daniel: we have an event, video james!, sheet in announcement on discord

Keerthana: we have booth builds, we’re painting ply, you should come because we’re painting ply

Kevin: we should try to get ahead now

Keerthana: we’re painting dinosaurs and building a dinosaur statue

Kevin: if you’re interested in doing booth, message Jonathan, and if you’re on bioraft, do bioraft

Kevin: Read me

Eshaan: everyone here knows what readme is, our next issue will be a week from wednesday

SCHMUCKS

Keerthana: motion to create the broken record committee

Avalon: there’s a startup career fair on wednesday in Rangos, if you’re looking for an internship/career, feel free to go

Daniel: how long is the warranty on career?

Eshaan: as a member of our proud unemployed and jobless faction, I’m going to be doing stupid shit all weekend

Eshaan: purple

Kevin: CMU red

Keerthana: Kevin’s mom

Eshaan: motion to [blows harmonica]

Kevin: E major (sniped)

Avalon: motion to 15 minutes that amount of time to decide what hoodie design we want

Daniel: motion to dark byzantium “it looks purple to me”

Kevin: motion to the left

Keerthana: motion to the amount of time it took us to make an allocation today

Daniel: motion to erin?

Eshaan: gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240212

2025-08-11T21:54:47Z

Jholz: Created page with "GENERAL BODY MANIFESTATION OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: celebrated lunar new year with roommates, had too many dumpling skins, made non-traditional dumplings, coffee beans are lea..."

GENERAL BODY MANIFESTATION

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: celebrated lunar new year with roommates, had too many dumpling skins, made non-traditional dumplings, coffee beans are least offensive

Avalon: watched superbowl, team that decided to root for 5 minutes before it started, lost

NEW PERSON!!

Noah, he/him, Wamego, Kansas, math major, from the midwest

Daniel: was gonna come up with something, not a real meeting, don’t feel like have to anymore, watched splatoon hologram concert livestreamed to youtube, event: CTFWS DH 2315 Friday 7 pm

Nick: built a robot, as usual, watched superbowl, submit to pravda at nkeck@andrew.cmu.edu, UK phone number, the only person submitting to Pravda is Kevin

Theo: kidnapped 2 strangers off the street (consensually) and hung out with them until 4 am

Julia: unfortunately, found a group for group project

Benner: downloaded chop chop fruit dokidoki dating sim thingy, 8 ams cancelled

Kevin2 electric boogaloo: watched the superbowl, one team won, other team lost

Noah: for some reason didn’t go to bed saturday, slept for 14 hours last night

Nathan: played some board games, forgot ipad in CFA practice room, went back to dorm to get free food, walked all the way back to CFA to practice some more.

[Insert discussion of superbowl halftime show here]

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Nathan: Piazza: from professor: hello everyone, let’s try an experiment, I’m asking you all what song I should play before lecture. Looking forward to learning about new music. (No replies)

Benner: ad hoc readme: once the harvard lampoon kidnapped the president of the harvard crimson, and would like to do the same with the president of the Tartan

Avalon: mis corn subs: I don’t know

Benner: wikipedia: guy goma bbc interview, where BBC was going to interview guy cuny, instead interviewed guy goma, a guy they were gonna interview for a data analyst, they put him on live television, he just kinda went with it, transcript: Karen Bowerman: Well, Guy Kewney is editor of the technology website Newswireless. Hello, good morning to you.

Guy Goma (visibly shocked): Good morning.

Bowerman: Were you surprised by this verdict today?

Goma: I am very surprised to see... this verdict to come on me, because I was not expecting that. When I came, they told me something else and I am coming. "You got an interview," that's all. So a big surprise anyway.

20 minutes later, they had a job interview, they didn’t hire him, and then they never interviewed the actual guy. Later, he went on in a follow up interview on what happened, and apologized to the guy for taking his spot

Julia: definitely not lying about the price of corn: 3$

Daniel: Doxxing kevin: how much corn do you buy regularly kevin?

Kevin: none

Kevin: mis corn price: it is $4.31/bushel

Benner: I googled corn price: 430.75$

Eshaan: lying misinformation, half-truths: corn 3.37$

Nick: block market: 6$

Ben: wikipedia: pokemon uranium, pokemon game except the world is a nuclear disaster

REAL & RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: It’s capture the flag with stuff, come

Kevin: booth builds, readme, dues

Theo (in recording): I’ve been kidnapped by the school of drama, dues, booth builds

[round of applause]

SCHMUCKS

Nathan: come see the cmu philharmonic, next sunday 8pm soldiers and sailors, free for students using code cmustudents, playing very hard piece, bartok, I trust everyone definitely has practiced over the weekends

Benner: I found the worst chord: [really unpleasant chord]

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240205

2025-08-11T21:53:59Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: learned what mangos look like, thanks Daniel Avalon: found out can actually do an Elmo voice really well, said some “heinous shit” in the elmo voi..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: learned what mangos look like, thanks Daniel

Avalon: found out can actually do an Elmo voice really well, said some “heinous shit” in the elmo voice

NEW PERSON!!!!

Phong, engineering, he/him, Hanoi, Vietnam, I go to CMU

Daniel: presentation night, Friday at 7 pm in wean 5409

Nick: did a robot, did 240 homework, submit to Pravda

Julia: I watched all of season 2 of the bear

Theo: read most of a 1200 page book series

Benner: Got all of my work done except for the big project that is due tonight (the one important thing that needed to get done)

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Ben: Wikipedia: IP over avian carriers: take all of the stuff, put it on a carrier pigeon, send the carrier pigeon to the destination that is how something something I’m an English major

Theo: Concepts is not that hard: my hw took me longer than roommate’s concepts

Twain: ah random english language facts: there are four adjectives in the english language ending in dus, hazardous, tremendous, stupendous, horrendous

Ben: Sealand: you can get a personalized sealand email address for 8$ if you are a noble or dutchess of sealand

Daniel: corn is like 5$ bushel

Twain: corn subsidies: 4.43$

Nathan: sealand: on February 20th 2023 sealand instagram posted a video: sealand vs UK

Theo: teletubbies drama: tinky winky is not gay (according to gamer ant)

Avalon: CFA: cant fucking spell

Ben: wikipedia: tall bike: is a bike that you put the body of another bike on top, have seen up to 4 bikes tall, needed a ladder to get on it

Theo: CFA: how do you know its game rant as opposed to gamer ant

Nick: mealblock: 6$

Keerthana: mis animal facts: did you know that gorillas can catch human colds

Theo: Teletubbies drama: the central message of teletubbies is that the big hug has to be a daily event

Twain: ah popple: while at popple had to not laugh while people talked about dick reachability and caulk (sp?)

Ben: ah smash your phone on the ground: there is an app called send me to heaven, measures the vertical distance a phone is thrown in the air (record 130 feet using a slingshot)

Theo: ah baby’s first showerthoughts: did you know that chocolate milk comes from brown cows

Daniel: motion to GBM space

Twain: (something long and technical about dyck reachability)

Theo: ah spam: exec email has received at least 7 spam messages, some of which have questionable content

Xander: wait what was that: question about dyck reachability

Keerthana: hivemind: dick is reachable what is reachable via a big space mexico tequila your own name your own name your own name

Avalon has thing, Theo wants thing, not fault: last full GBM of the semester, is fault: kevin will make them return thing

Avalon: motion to create the tabling committee “to be tabled until next week”

Nick: motion to table for four weeks

Passed, been tabled for four weeks

Keerthana: motion to create the oligopoly of mealblock buyers “to suppress the price of mealblocks”

Nick: we can make a discord bot to spam channel with “sorry, I only buy blocks for 2$ or less”

Keerthana: can take anyone buying blocks for more than 5$ to morewood parking lot

Sold to keerthana for 1$, chaired by everyone whose not a freshman and Phong

Twain: motion to create the papers with funny names committee “to find papers with funny names and share them with the class (excluding papers about gravity because they’re all jokes anyway)”

Keerthana: exclude sigbovik?

Nick: exclude papers about gravity because they’re all jokes anyways (been amended)

Twain: Efficient CHAD paper

sold to Nick for 2$, the price of accessing a paper legitly on research gate

Daniel: I forgor

Theo: motion to create the no one puts Kevin in a corner committee “to act as a constant reminder that no one puts Kevin in the corner, Kevin puts himself in the corner by saying words with Q”

Sold to Avalon for 2$, chaired by Kevin

Ben: which kevin are we talking about

Theo: motion to allocate 70$ for this week’s event

Passed, been allocated

Theo: motion to Daniel listens to snack recommendations committee: would like to request tangerines at this week’s event

Nick: cookie cake

Keerthana: motion to amend purpose to summit cola

Benner: motion to create the “lying to people for fun committee” “to lie to people for fun”

Keerthana: motion to amend purpose to “Daniel, why aren’t you buying more tangerines”

Passed, been changed

Teddy: motion to amend purpose to “to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”

Failed, not changed

Passed, sold for 5$ to Ben, chaired by “the staff of readme”

Twain: does anyone have on them non-scented moisturizer I can borrow

Teddy: motion to #define “unscented moisturizer” as “water”

Passed, been #defined

Theo: motion to the left

Ben: motion to sit in silence for 30 seconds

Avalon: motion for KGB to take a little nap on the table for like 30 seconds

Ben: there was once a plane that crashed because the pilot bet he could land it without looking out the cockpit

Ben: requesting a high five from the president

Xander: there was once a plane that shot itself down (they were testing the armament on the plane at high speed and low speed, flying along, and fired the cannon, then entered a dive and accelerated)

Teddy: fun plane facts: ernest hemmingway got into a plane, it crashed, walked got into another plain, it also crashed

Twain: point of information, Twain is spelled with a silent Q at the end

Nick: ah fun facts about planes: planes can indeed fly

Theo: ah fun facts about plants: plants cannot fly

Avalon: mis plants: venus fly trap might be able to fly

Theo: ah plain facts: plains cannot fly

Benner: fun facts about plane: image: red dots show where they need to fortify the plane

Twain: I just wanted to say that not only did I have to deal with dyck reachability and caulk, but also horn clauses

RRAs

Kevin: Exec meetings, UC 306

Daniel: event: presentation night, also CTFWS in 2 weeks, that’s happening

Theo: dues: 15$/sem, 20$/year, 69/hr, 420/min, 69c/10 yrs if murder

Theo: booth: we have a booth, we’re gonna paint dinosaurs this weekend

Kevin: we need judges for CTFWS, will have rules committee thursday, we can talk about what rules need improvement

Ben: readme: has had its first publication printed, you can probably still find them, if you really want to see it I can send you the PDF, you should read it if you want to join

SCHMUCKS

Nathan: CMU philharmonic playing the weekend after this weekend, playing some good and hard music, 8 pm on sunday

Theo: SOD has the scottish play wednesday-friday

Avalon: CMU democrats: talking about affirmative action and eating tacos wean, Thursday

Avalon: entrepreneurial association event in schwartz center

Daniel: motion to RAL1010

Theo: motion to Bastard amber

Nick: motion to the color of a red herring

Avalon: motion to the color of the lights reflecting in Kevin’s glasses

Nathan: motion to 270 degrees

Total count of times Quevin got sent to the corner for saying words containing Q: 3

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240129

2025-08-11T21:53:20Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: went to la prima, wearing this shirt, barista said “I love reading the phantom tool booth”, haven’t read phantom tool booth Avalon: moderated a..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: went to la prima, wearing this shirt, barista said “I love reading the phantom tool booth”, haven’t read phantom tool booth

Avalon: moderated a very exciting political forum, a lot of audience yelling and security threats

NEW PEOPLE!!!

Jacob, fish program, 2024, LA, live in shadyside/sq hill like everyone else

Noella, she/her, cs, Mumbai, lives in E-tower

Milo, he/him, south orange NJ (north jersey), dietrich, 2027, in dietrich

Daniel: got too invested in pokemon sleep meta, it’s not fun because you have to track all of your pokemon, and they all matter, everything sucks, hate all of my pokemon now, GBGC this Friday, board games and card games

Teddy^Nick: probably met very early for 240 lab

Julia: got dunked on for asking if cream of celery soup has dairy

Theo: fish, did not bring umbrella

Benner: underestimated the amount of time that homework was going to take, played way too much pallia, like stardew valley mmo with fantasy creature things, internet identity class talks a lot about people who spend too much time playing mmos

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Daniel: corn subs 4.66$

Benner: wikipedia: there was a physicist and mathematician at michigan state who wanted to publish some of his research, used we instead of I, had to list cat as coauthor so journal would accept

Avalon: mis mealblock: mealblocks are 6$

Teddy: bone hunting: don’t bus 2 hours to strip district meats to get pork bones for stock

Milo: the rise in mealblocks was fixed by 5th floor E tower residents fixing prices

Nathan: Sealands: flag of sealands was placed on the summit of mt. everists

Benner: wikipedia: squirrelfishing Squirrel fishing is the sporting practice of "catching" squirrels and attempting to lift them into the air using a nut (preferably a peanut) tied to a string or fishing line and optionally some kind of fishing pole. Started at berkeley or yale, think we should have a squirrel fishing club

Nathan: 1978 coup de’tat in sealand

Daniel:google: current corn price is 4.40

Theo: cats are stupid: former First Veep’s cat slapped my ass yesterday

Benner: article does have image: squirrel_lift.jpeg

Theo: wait is this 2015: last episode of percy jackson comes out tomorrow

Avalon wants thing: not fault: behavior of three candidates yesterday, is fault: that we all live in squalor and have no families

Nathan: sealand: instagram: AI picture with grinch with Sealand hoodie

Avalon: point of information: what is sealand

Nathan: sealand is tiny nation, can become duke for 700$

Benner: rebel government, kidnapping, taking hostage, hostage then escaping, most of this comes from founder’s son’s book, not sure how factual

Theo: motion: to #define “Kevin’s Life” as “ruined”

Passed

Teddy: motion to make a standing rule such that the president cannot use any words with the letter Q, if they do they have to go to the corner of shame for 5 minutes

Passed, sold to Avalon for 3$

Theo: motion to create the Q-bert Quacks Quails Qommittee, Quacking Quacks Qbert Quacks Quacks Quail

Passed, sold for 3$ to Daniel, chaired by “requesting a report from the rec sec”

Avalon: motion to #define “Kevin” as “Quevin”

Passed, been stood

Daniel: motion to create the vanquish the evil sealed beneath schenley rink committee, “to vanquish the evil sealed beneath schenley rink”

Benner: what is the evil

Daniel: not sure but it’s whatever is preventing the rink from being operational

Jonathan: crusade? weapons?

Daniel: no holy land because schenley is cursed

Theo: local guild supplier is purnell

Benner: there are 2 foam swords in the office

Avalon: also several nerf guns and a shit ton of nerf bullets

Theo: also a pickaxe in the Kage

Ben: there’s also a significant amount of power tools in the Kage (approved by the kill people with power tools committee”

Avalon: there are several long wooden boards you could use to slap people in the Kage

Daniel: it’s abundantly clear that we have the tools to do so

sold for 2$ to Jonathan, chaired by Avalon

Theo: motion to create the concepts isnt even that hard committee “to make my roommates and avalon think that concepts isn’t that hard, they’re just bad at it”

Benner: gaslighting approves

Sold for 3$ to Theo, chaired by my cat because my cat could get an A in physics

Theo: motion to allocate 69$ and 422 cents to this week’s event

Daniel: I found so many new oreos

Theo: can you get gluten free ones

Nathan: yes, please

Daniel: I’ll check

Passed, been allocated

Avalon: motion to create the people who have not taken concepts have no standing to say how difficult it is [unseconded]

Theo:call to question

Jonathan: motion to answer

Daniel: requesting a report from the chair

Ben: motion to disband the KGB [not entertained]

Jonathan: motion to overthrow the tyrant [not well defined]

Daniel: requesting a report from the chair as to what suffix is used to refer to lawyers is

[various requests for reports from the chair to attempt to get him to say “q”-containing words]

Daniel: motion to #define “ruined” as “ruinéd”

Passed, been #defined

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Kevin: we R exec, meetings Sunday 306 if you want to see our nefarious scheming to bring events, GBGC, PH A18B/C, come play board games

Theo: booth: we have booth builds Wednesdays 6-8, Saturdays 11-1 (tentatively) follow the booth channel for more info, message booth chairs if need directions, Dues, 69$/hr, 20/yr, 15/sem, you get to vote, and shirt is 5$ off, run for exec, also you’ll be my favorite

Eshaan: I’m sure some of you are funny, we are forming writing and publishing a biweekly satire magazine, we’re looking for people to write/create things for it, show up UC 306 Saturday at 12, join the discord

Ben: will probably be out on Wednesday on any clear surface

SCHMUCKS

Eshaan: could someone write an article trashing readme for the Tartan

Theo: there are two SOD shows this weekend: dancelight, opera, as a student you can get discounted tickets to both

Daniel: motion to the left

Ben: motion to color in chromacity diagram between y axis and x+y=1

Eshaan: motion to the color of the rain in song by artist formerly known by Prince

Daniel: motion to starkroot

Jonathan: motion to #QQQQQQ

Teddy: motion to #800801

Theo: motion to r21

Ben: motion to the hypothetical color that only stimulates the m cones in someones eye

Theo: purple gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20240122

2025-08-11T21:53:00Z

Jholz: Created page with "MEETING 1/22/24 OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: fish fish zaxbys Avalon: New person!!! Ashley she/her, SCS, freshman, can breathe Daniel: started playing bitburn, which is a “ga..."

MEETING 1/22/24

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: fish fish zaxbys

Avalon: New person!!!

Ashley she/her, SCS, freshman, can breathe

Daniel: started playing bitburn, which is a “game”, idle game like cookie clicker, but you do programming and write javascript, so it sucks, event: tools training

Theo^Nick: think was in scotland or ireland, or england, submit to Pravda

Julia: got wisdom teeth out, scandalized doctor by saying coming out of the anesthesia was like being drunk

Theo: over the weekend played with cat who is very very very stupid, he also woke me up at 4 am

Benner: won bidding war for KGB id card

COMMITTEES

Twain: animal facts: scientists discovered microscopic levels 3rd law of motion not followed, found out by looking at sperm under microscopt

Avalon: mis. mealblock: 4.50

Twain: animal facts: found cat piano online, started aggressively playing the C chord at people who annoyed me

Nathan: mis wikipedia: for only 850$ you can become a duke/dutchess of sealand

Avalon: ah asking twain personal questions: why are they meowing at you?

Theo: booth: we are building our booth, come build our booth, wednesdays at 6 pm, saturdays at 11, will be sippy sips and nommy noms

Nathan: mis. wikipedia: if you apply to be a duke/dutchess of sealand as a couple, you can both become a duke or dutchess of 900$ (on sale right now)

Ben: wikipedia: international obfuscated c contest: contest to make worst, least understandable c code, rules intentionally written for contestants to be able to abuse rules and find loopholes

NEW PERSON AGAIN!!!!

Alan, freshman math major, born at the ripe age of 0, from maryland

Nathan: not wikipedia: ed sheeran is a member of the nobility of sealand

Daniel: adhoc: IOCC: IOCC has not had a contest since 2020 :(

Nathan has thing, Daniel wants thing, not fault: crushing despair at 12pm today that has to do things

ORDERS OF THE DAY

from 12/11/23: Motion to create the zeno’s paradox committee, with purpose “to get halfway to the creation of the zeno’s paradox committee”

Twain: motion to pass by acclamation

Passed, sold for 1$ to avalon, chaired by “You will, Kevin”

NEW BUSINESS

Theo: motion to make Daniel president [not entertained, despite chants of “down with the tyrant”]

Daniel: motion to eject avalon from the meeting [dilatory]

Nathan: motion to make the sealand committee “to uncover all the secrets of sealand, and any people we know who may be nobility and to commandeer sealand”

Sold to Nathan for 2$, chaired by Ed sheran

Theo: motion to allocate 9,999$ for sippy sips and nummy nums for booth this season

Passed, been allocated

Theo: motion to allocate -40$ [dilatory]

Ben: motion to create the snowman mourning committee “to mourn the two snowmen made by my roomate and I that were killed by the morning”

Sold for 9$ to Ben, chaired by the spirits of the snowmen we have lost this winter

Theo: motion to create the treasury for tax fraud committee “to buy a papa john’s franchise with 9,999$ and use it to launder money”

Ben: might be an illegal idea

Passed, sold for 6$ to Sam, chaired by Ed Sheeran

Teddy: motion to make the bone finding committee “to find bones in pittsburgh”

Avalon: would the bones be located within living species?

Teddy: they were

Daniel: there are about 3,000 bones in this room

Theo: of the 3,000 bones in this room, about 260 are edible

Sunana: motion to amend title to “sanctioned murder committee”

Benner: buying or just taking

Teddy: buying

Nathan: I think you should be finding them and selling them

Theo: motion to make it such that this committee only exists in strip in Yellowstone where murder is legal (no one lives in state and county, so can’t have jury of peers, so no trial) [unfortunately we’re in an amendment]

Teddy: to clarify no one’s actually killed anyone there, so there’s no precedent

Daniel: motion to pass by acclamation

Teddy: objection

Amendment failed

Theo: motion to pass by acclamation

Sold for 5$ to Teddy, chaired by me, sure why not, I will keep you posted

Twain: motion to create the counting committee “if you notice that a lot of people are voting yes put your hand down to make sure kevin has to count, and shout random numbers while he is counting, and also say 3rded 4thed etc. when someone seconds a motion”

Passed, sold for 3$ to Avalon, chaired by “Count von Count[from sesame street]”

Theo: motion to make a standing rule such that if you successfully murder someone in the zone of death, your dues are the current price of summit cola per year for the next 100 years

Passed, sold for 1$ to Theo

Twain:motion to the left [been moved]

Avalon: motion the the right [been moved]

Theo: the broken record committee would like to report [audible sigh from kevin]

Twain: the broken record committee would like to report [audible sigh from kevin]

Sam: the broken broken broken

Daniel: motion to create the fix the broken record committee “to fix the broken record committee”

Failed

Twain: requesting a high five from Kevin [kevin high fives them]

Daniel: motion to create the kill people with power tools committee “to kill people who don’t come to tools training, to incentivize people to come to tools training, only applies to people who haven’t been using tools for 7+ years [sunana’s amendment], and to find bones [Sam’s amendment]”

Nathan: point of information do their bones count towards the bones thing

Avalon: motion to amend such that it is just killing Twain and not only people who have not used power tools before [unfriendly, not strond]

[discussion of poopmap ensues for some reason]

sold for 3$ to Sam, chaired by Ed Sheeran

Theo: motion to #define “the GBM space” as “the part of Yellowstone in Idaho”

Passed, been #defined

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Kevin: we r KGB, exec meetings, sunday 2pm UC 306

Daniel: we have an event, it’s tools training, we’ll kill you if you don’t come

Theo: Dues: 15$/sem, 20$/yr, 69/hour, special discount if you murder someone in yellowstone or here, booth builds Wednesday 6-8pm, Saturday 11-1pm, free food

Kevin: ReadMe (satire magazine) will hopefully be published, printed, distributed, if you’re interested in participating let me know

SCHMUCKS

Theo: stage managing a little night music, CMU students get discounted entry, purnell doesn’t actually bite you

Ben: I am a writer for ReadMe, and I’m pretty funny I like to think, if you want to read me being super funny, you should read it

Sunana: 2-5 tuesdays & thursdays and fish Fridays, Taekwondo

Avalon: CMU democrats have an event on Sunday doors open at 1, starts at two, have Summer Lee and two other candidates for congress, I am moderating

Sam: Fencing is 2:00 on Thursdays [fish], we like beginners

Ashley: if you want to learn about how people actually killed people in the middle ages, hima? club Friday 5-7 UC activity room

Benner: motion to Pantone 448 C

Daniel: pantone 448 C is informally dubbed the ugliest color

Twain: motion to purple purple seafoam green …. fish fish fish and gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20231211

2025-08-11T21:52:36Z

Jholz: Created page with "MEETING 12/11 Kevin: spent most of weekend working on SRAM, and 4 days beforehand, 1 hour before deadline, realized it was working 2 days ago, finally free from hammerschlag..."

MEETING 12/11

Kevin: spent most of weekend working on SRAM, and 4 days beforehand, 1 hour before deadline, realized it was working 2 days ago, finally free from hammerschlag hall

Avalon: went ice skating, better at ice skating than thought

Eshaan^Daniel: I love playing splatoon, no splatoon in Geek Eat

Eshaan^Nick: scottish, hate the british hitler was austrian

Julia: sleep deprived

Jonathan^Theo: Fricked off to somewhere not here

Benner: did too much writing, too much filming, was like 5 mins worth of footage but the limit is 3 minutes

(chood threw a lot of pennies and we spent 10 minutes picking them up)

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Jonathan: mis [sic] egg: eggs have gone to 2.30$/dozen

Anthony: mis [sic] holly jolly: headbands

Nathan: piazza: when is the public record for bitcoin, what does it mean fish — c@cm

Eshaan: ah large pointy stick: I have

Anthony: candycane shiv

Aresh: thank you for subscribing to my youtube channel

Benner: answer to piazza question from before

Eshaan: ah prison violence: support for candycane shiv

Aresh: mis. cryptocurrency: 3blue1brown has good cryptocurrency video

Benner: history of pepsi: video game called pepsi man where you are the pepsi mascot and drink pepsi and run around

Vuyani: mis history of pepsi: theme music is really good

[pepsi man theme gets played]

Benner: horace burgess’s treehouse built almost entirely by one dude horace burgess, said commanded by god to build it, performed many weddings in it, chapel doubled as a basketball court, closed in 2012 for firecode violations, burned down in 2019

Jonathan: press f to pay respects for the treehouse committee: f

Eshaan: recursive instance of KGB committee: officers please report

Avalon: pros and cons of buying wikipedia: we could make all truth what kgb wants

Anthony: mis actual wikipedia editors: a lot of

Eshaan: days since Avalon has done something fascist: we’re back to zero

Jonathan: national debt: increased by 200 billion $ in last 2 weeks

OLD BUSINESS

Anthony has the thing, Nathan wants the thing, not fault: how well did on jury, now fault: everyone’s finals

NEW BUSINESS

Benner: motion to allocate (fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish $ and fish fish cents to buy wikipedia

Anthony: motion to amend the standing rule that if the treasurer is absent from the meeting we consider the treasury to be the amount of money to buy wikipedia

Jonathan: motion to allocate (fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish) (unseconded)

Eshaan: I would like to free fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish bytes of memory in one block

Anthony: motion #define “what KGB stands for” to “Kan Gbuy BWikepedia)

Benner: motion to pick up a usb drive I found on the floor and put it into my laptop

Benner: motion to make a standing rule such that if any member of KGB sees a flash drive on the ground they have to pick it up and plug it into their laptop

Avalon: motion to amend such that this plugging in must occur during the next GBM (friendly, been changed)

Passed, been stood, sold for 2$ to Eshaan

Anthony: motion to allocate 1 corn (5$) towards a study on the lethality of candy cane shanks

Passed, been allocated, please don’t stab anyone, 5$ won’t cover the legal fees

Eshaan: motion to give me the 5$ meant to be used for shivving (unseconded)

Eshaan: point of information: Kevin how confused are you?

Kevin: we’re in new business

Aresh: motion to create the zeno’s paradox committee “to get halfway to the creation of the zeno’s paradox committee”

Avalon: motion to eh by acclamation

(Tabled for 1 week)

Anthony: motion to #define new business as “very serious business”

Avalon: serious business is trademarked by the tepper school of serious business

Jonathan: motion to amend “business” to “bizness”

Anthony: 1$ to pass by corruption

Avalon: objection: 2$

Anthony: objection to objection 5$

Been passed by corruption

Benner: motion to amend pass by corruption so objection can be o

Julia: motion to amend the pass by corruption so the amount of money that wins is not more money, but instead the heavier amount of money, british pounds count for 1 pound of weight

Benner: motion to amend so it can be any heavy object of significant monetary value

Vuyani: motion to amend the amendment such that significant monetary value is 10$ on ebay bids (friendly, been changed)

Eshaan: motion to append such that must be done as surreptitiously as possible, but if the amount gets guessed the bid is re

Julia: I pull out

Benner: motion to wish my roommate selina good luck on her final that started 19 mins ago (ill defined but good luck)

Anthony: anti-cinderella rule: unless someone makes a motion to gitfo we have to be here until 12 am

Failed

Nathan: motion

Jonathan: to

Avalon: motion to create a standing rule such that when someone says fail by corruption we go about the same process as pass by corruption, but for failing the motion

Passed, been stood, sold for 2$ to Eshaan

Anthony: motion to amend the pass by corruption to use KGB credit as well as cash (unseconded)

Avalon: the existence of KGB debt and credit and currency implies there could be a KGB economy

Jonathan: some colors

Charles: motion to hold a moment of awkward silence for that thing you did 2 1/2 years ago

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

we are going to cheesecake factory, 5pm, meet there and head to bus stop, if you have alternate transportation feel free to take those, sign up sheet in discord, mostly to tell us who to wait for at black chairs

we have dues, 15/sem, 20/yr, other numbers are all lies

SCHMUCKS

Anthony: still have a song, find it in schmucks on the discord

chood: don’t have a song, can’t listen to it, not in schmucks

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20231204

2025-08-11T21:51:37Z

Jholz: Created page with "OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: school mascots Avalon: went to Kappa formal, not in Kappa Daniel: forgot to sleep, played splatoon, event: Karaoke Garaoke Baraoke Nick: stayed home..."

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: school mascots

Avalon: went to Kappa formal, not in Kappa

Daniel: forgot to sleep, played splatoon, event: Karaoke Garaoke Baraoke

Nick: stayed home, submit to pravda

Julia: forgot to study for exam, played stardew valley

Avalon^Theo: did nothing but be a slave to the school of drama, the school of drama sucks, tepper is so much better, I apologize to Avalon for the heinous committee created last week that mentioned Avalon by name

Benner: did nothing but write and also watch a 4 hour video essay (hbomberguy)

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Nathan: ad hoc pilk: I believe I saw someone making pilk unironically in the exchange today, pepsi with at least a tablespoon of milk

Nick: block market: 4$

Twain: corn subsidies: 4.61

Anthony: misappriated plants: most plants have died, grab as many christmas trees as you can, we’re going to scalp christmas trees

Benner: wikipedia: sept 15 1896 publicity stunt in texas where william george crush decided to crash two trains together at full speed, made full town named crush

Eshaan: ad hoc forgetfulness: that

Daniel: something what snacks: I’m not asking you

Benner: going down: everything

Anthony: ad hoc FDA: formal question: is there a vegan option for this meeting

Eshaan: mis going down: going down down sugar going down down

Eshaan: euphemism: going down is funny

Nick: ah requesting snacks: normal oreos, and maybe some lemon cake again

Daniel: did I ask

Sam: ah FDA: vegan cake

Anthony: out of date references, must one yell timber on top of going down

Daniel: mis ah who: will

Eshaan: ah will: prefers to be called billy now

(Broken records)

Nick: [REDACTED]

Anthony: ah broken record committee

Eshaan: [REDACTED]

Avalon: has thing

Anthony: wants thing, not fault: expulsion of George Santos, is fault: exponential down going of everything else

OLD BUSINESS

From November 20th

motion to create the “order of the day committee 2” with purpose “to be tabled until next week”

Nick: motion to table for 10.5 days

Charles: call to question

Anthony: I like that table

Eshaan: I also like this table

Passed, been tabled for 10.5 days

Nick: motion to make an allocation for 50 million dollars for the purpose of buying two trains to crash into eachother

Kevin: dilatory

(argument)

Avalon: NEW PEOPLE!!!

Shay: shay, from NJ, mech e major, likes the new york giants, freshman, he/him

Guytree (sp?): she/her, cs, Pittsburgh, Steelers fan

Twain: motion to create a new standing rule only for this meeting where you can only speak if you have this ball or are Kevin

Nathan: motion to fail by acclamation

Anthony: are we permitted to use ASL in the absence of speaking

Failed

Avalon: motion to create the Avalon’s one day old starbucks committee, purpose “for someone to help me open my one day old starbucks, I’ve been trying for 20 minutes now

Anthony: can any means be used

Keerthana: motion to offer this effigy as prize for whoever opens it

Daniel: motion to pass by acclamation

Twain: Eshaan pay attention in GBM (standing rule)

Eshaan: I don’t know what motion we’re in

(Eshaan is sent to the corner of shame)

Sold for 4$ to Avalon, chaired by sherlock (the person who opened the starbucks)

Anthony: motion to create a standing rule such that if there is no treasurer present we consider the treasury to be 50 million dollars in summit cola

Nick: motion to pass by acclamation

Passed, been stood

sold for 7.74$ to Benner

NEW PERSON!!!

Talia, NYC, middle east studies Dickinson (graduated 6 months ago), 23, intending to apply to CMU and Pitt, when walking here, walked over grass instead of paths, color of floor is wood

Daniel: motion to allocate 50 million dollars for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Benner: motion to create the heat death of the universe committee purp: “to be the last committee ever passed by the KGB”

Keerthana: motion to table until the heat death of the universe

Passed, been tabled

Charles: motion to allocate 10$ for each variant of oreo-stuffed things for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Julia: motion to amend to “all the variants of oreo-stuffed oreos present wherever Daniel goes to shop for snacks for this week’s event”

Charles: intent is different stuff thicknesses of oreos

Talya: four years or so ago my sister put toothpaste instead of oreo cream for april fools

Daniel: can we allocate a real amount of money?

Daniel: when I ask for a blank check you say no Kevin

Passed, been allocated

Keerthana: motion to create a standing rule such that all allocations for sippy sips and nummy nums must be made in units of summit cola

Failed

Julia: motion #define “will you all shut up” as “call the question”

(Discussion of whether it’s call to question or call the question, lots of people are surprised)

Twain: apparently we’re using call to question wrong, you need to vote on it

Talya: can I see evidence of the 50 million dollars?

Passed, been #defined

Avalon: wait I forgot, hold on, I pull out

Twain: check general, I have just sent a link to a 1981 locomotive for 15,000$

Benner: IRS committee: where did KGB obtain that money

Avalon: motion to propose Carnegie Mellon as the location where the trains would collide

Nathan: [REDACTED]

Anthony: motion #define call to question as call the question

Keerthana: motion to call your mom’s question

Nick: motion to call Kevin’s mom

Daniel: motion to cause suffering for fun

Nick: motion to the broken record committee

Twain: Kevin what is your mom’s name and where does she live

Kevin: unfriendly

Benner: Kevin what’s your mom’s maiden name, and what is your bank account

Kevin: Kevin is your mom single

Sherlock: Kevin if your mom’s phone number was an amount of money how much would it be

Twain: Kevin, your middle name is nmn?

Kevin: that stands for no middle name

Keerthana: Be better nerds

Passed, been #defined

Daniel: motion to make a standing rule such that if you call the question you must also say the string “call the question” (unseconded)

Kevin leaves because he is being doxxed, Avalon is now chair

Daniel: motion to create a standing rule such that after every auction the chair must say “who will”

Passed, been stood, sold to Evin (Kevin) for 15$

NEW PERSON

Evin, I’m an ECE major graduating in December of 2024, wear hats, he/him, from a location that everyone knows already

Anthony: motion to create a standing rule called the broken record rule that allows you to pass a standing rule or committee that has already been passed again, they can be titled the same thing, but have different numbers

Daniel: motion to fail by acclamation

Anthony: objection

Passed, been stood, sold for siz (6)$ for Kevin

Daniel: motion to purple

Charles: motion to move on to real and relevant announcements

REAL RELEVANT ANNOUNCMENTS

Kevin: hello we are the CMU KGB, the wrong Kevin is up there now

Avalon: events friday at 7

Daniel: Karaoke: here, 7pm on Friday

Avalon: Dues 15/sem, 20/yr, 69/hr

Avalon: ITR may be running during finals week, check schmucks

Avalon: Geek eat, sign up sheet, next wednesday, we go to cheesecake factory

SCHMUCKS

Anthony: new song, may have mentioned 2 weeks ago, said song now out on all streaming platforms

Nathan: go see the CMU philharmonic, wednesday night at soldiers and sailors, thursday noon

Benner: an hour before KGB event, cmu GCS will be showing games they made, my game will not be done, you can see other people’s games that will not be

(K)Evin: ITR is a fun little thing where you get duct tape daggers and go to wean 4, get card that says friendly or unfriendly, you go around stabbing people with daggers, kind of like mafia, if you like running around on wean 4, and stabbing people with daggers, and variations with weird classes, come to itr

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20231127

2025-08-11T21:51:19Z

Jholz: Created page with "MEETING 11/27/23 OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: spent too much of break in hammerschlag hall because of SRAM, hung out with KGB folks who were in town This Chair^Avalon: cleaned th..."

MEETING 11/27/23

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: spent too much of break in hammerschlag hall because of SRAM, hung out with KGB folks who were in town

This Chair^Avalon: cleaned the office

Daniel: got eliminated from a mahjong tournament, event: GBGC-2, come play board and card games in Wean 5421

^Nick: spent a total of 16 hours on train with roommate, realized why just want to be roomates and not friends (yikes!)

Julia: london, ate lots of food

Theo: friend’s thanksgiving, all people went to highschool, middle school, religious school, they all know eachother

(Kevin commits financial fraud by paying 5$ for a 4.36$ gift card thrown at treasurer)

Benner: returned to Ohio, meeting about research opportunity that was much shorter than anticipated

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: history of pepsi: in fish, Russia, there was a pepsi warehouse that collapsed and flooded the entire town and river with pepsi products

Nathan: ah my shoe: i burned off a piece of my shoe yesterday

Daniel: corn subsidies: 4.64

Theo: requesting mealblock

Nick: 5$

Teddy: according: all

Benner: wikipedia: there is a current pool on wikipedia for the last article or topic to ever be written on wikipedia, “a list of people in hell”, “volcanic activity under wikimedia server room”, “announcement of the winner of the pool”

Theo wants spirit of thing: not fault, this is their last week of school, not yours

ORDERS OF THE DAY

Daniel: motion to make the fizzbuzz committee purp: “I didn’t come up with a joke in time”

(unseconded)

Theo: motion to create the delulu is the solulu committee purp: “for everyone to gaslight themselves into thinking their life is easier than it is”

Passed, sold for 1$ to Theo, chaired by “your mom”

Nick: requesting a report from theo for how much I owe the org

Theo: 13$

Daniel: motion to allocate 70$ and 320 cents for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Aresh: motion to amend the amount to 420 dimes

Daniel: friendly, with an additional 70 cents

Theo: motion to amend to allocate 420 dimes and 69 nickels

Daniel: friendly, been changed

Passed, been allocated

Charles: motion to create a standing rule such that for this cyber monday only all auctions are 50% off

Theo: motion to make it so every cyber monday bids are 50% off but we’re going to double the original price

Charles: the final bid is discounted by 50%

Aresh: half cents rounded up or down

Charles: whichever is more even by IEEE floating point

Theo: motion to amend such that math taxed back up to original price

Amendment failed

Passed, been stood, sold for $2.00 (discounted price) to Daniel

Aresh: motion to create the fizzbuzz committee purp: “1”

Charles: 2

Aresh: fizz

Charles: 4

Vuyani: 5

Aresh: I pull out

Theo: motion to create the broken record committee “for the record to be bad and fail”

(failed by acclamation)

Daniel: motion to create a new standing rule such that whenever an auction sells for more than $7.73 Kevin must go to the corner of shame.

Nick: which Kevins

Daniel: it first checks if they’re named Kevin, then it ranks those kevins by whether they are the chair of the meeting, the chair comes first

Daniel: if multiple non-Kevin chairs, and no Kevin-chair, all of them have to go to the

Passed, been stood, sold for 7.74$ to Daniel

Benner: ever since I made the kontent poster of my dog as an american spy, dad saw while picking up, refers to him as american spy

Aresh: motion to #define the corner of shame to “outside”

compiler error

Charles: motion to #define Kevin as “the rules”

(unseconded)

Daniel: what snacks do you want

“summit cola should not not not not not not end”

Vuyani: I think we should have oreos

Theo: ad hoc tangerines: tangerines at karaoke

Nick: only if spoons are provided

Daniel: how do I disband a committee?

Kevin: are you the chair of the committee, I’ll figure that out

Julia: motion to #define “KGB’s christmas” to “any day on which the chair says who will after a standing rule has been passed”

Vuyani: motion to create a standing rule such that on any day which is KGB’s christmas, the corner of shame is the corner by the window with the window open

(Discussion of whether this constitutes a war crime)

Theo: motion to create the down with the Tepper committee purp: anytime Avalon says anything vaguely businessy we cheer down with the Tepper instead of down with the tyrant

Passed, sold for .50 cents (black friday deal to Nick, chaired by Largo)

Benner: technically under the geneva conventions, forced exposure to cold is illegal, but that would require Kevin is a prisoner of war

Kevin: being in a room with you sick fucks is like being a POW

Nick: motion to the color of Julia’s sweater

Aresh: motion to #fish#fish#fish

Benner: motion to create a standing rule such that if there is a period of silence longer than 30 secs in a GBM someone has to say a fun fact

Daniel: motion to amend such that animal facts are forbidden (friendly, been changed)

Vuyani: 25 sec (friendly been changed)

Sam: what if no one says

Benner: if you wait another thirty seconds you have two

Eshaan: motion to amend to e seconds (unfriendly)

Theo: motion to make it such that if no one says a fun fact kevin loses 10 hp

Passed, sold for 7.74$ (black friday discount to 3.87) to Daniel

Aresh: how much is this standing rule like those streams where they pay money to put dumb filter on stream

Eshaan: motion to mourn Kevin’s loss (Kevin claims to have not lost anything)

Kevin: ah lack of object permanence: we miss kevin, we don’t know where he’s gone

Theo: developing object permanence: who is kevin

Sam: philosophy: why is kevin

Kevin: ah thinking abt philosophy kevin thinks therefore he is

Vuyani: existential question

Aresh: Kevin: when kevin is kevin kevin kevin kevin

Nick: ah philosophy: kevin stands his ground

Eshann: ah Avalon’s philosophy: given kevin standing his ground, he can shoot any fetus in this room

Daniel: motion to create the broken record committee purpose: laughing, face in hands

Eshaan: ah willful misinterpretation: we don’t use record

Nathan: motion to fail by acclamation (failed)

Nick: short film gaslighting

Theo: gatekeeping committee: you are not in the KGB unless you pay the dues

Daniel: amend purpose to “motion to create the broken record committee”

Eshaan: [says something incriminating]

Failed

Eshaan: motion to form the broken records committee (ill defined)

Charles: motion to create the tautology committee “to serve the functions of the tautology committee”

Eshaan: confusion: need to go to ATM to put in pin to get

Aresh: if ten people join the tautology committee, the tautology committee will have 10 people

Passed, sold for 10$ to Charles (5$ discounted), chaired by the chair of the tautology committee

Benner: motion to ban philosophy from all KGB meetings (ill defined)

Sam: motion to create the redundancy committee “to serve the purposes of the redundancy committee”

Eshaan: motion to pass by acclamation

Passed, sold for 6$ to Eshaan (discounted to 3$) chaired by “me”

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

We are the cmu kgb, we have an event GBGC 2, come get boarded, get carded, wean 5421, 7 pm

Theo: we have dues 25/yr 15/sem, tomorrow is giving tuesday if you like farnham giving us his money donate tomorrow, if you want to know how much you owe debts-wise talk to theo after meeting or on discord, just send cashnet receipt

Kevin: please specify when you put in organization that it’s KGB

Kevin: we will be meeting thursday 5 pm in Wean 5320 to discuss CTFWS rules/retrospective

SCHMUCKS

Benner: might be getting a research job (clapping)

Eshaan: IBM asked me why I as an English major am applying there

Kevin: motion to colonial grey

Eshaan: Gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20231120

2025-08-11T21:50:55Z

Jholz: Created page with "MEETING OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: spiked Arizona green tea (regular Arizona green tea (very concerning)) Avalon: went to Kremlin, had fun Daniel: got a ping Saturday night..."

MEETING

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: spiked Arizona green tea (regular Arizona green tea (very concerning))

Avalon: went to Kremlin, had fun

Daniel: got a ping Saturday night to play splat toon. Was a mistake

kevin: Do we have an event?

daniel: No

avalon: we have an unofficial event where we clean up the office! There will be food.

nick: thanksgiving at Kremlin

nick: I went to Kremlin and had fun. Actually I live there

Eshaan^Julia: what does Julia do on the weekend?

kevin: Julia is in the uk

Eshaan: (british accent) I’m in the uk and speaking to you through the inter webs! I had beans on toast.

Nick^Theo: oh god help I am trapped in Purnell. Oh no.

Benner: bhangra in the burgh then Kremlin. Left in the opposite direction to Steve and got lost

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Avalon: what the fuck is going on with the fence committee (not eshaan)

Kevin: American football man do bad. No longer want American football man. American football man not fired yet

Kevin (Tyrant): his name is matt Canada??

eshaan: matt Canada is a (fish fish fish use your imagination) people have hated him for three years

benner: history of Pepsi committee. Pepsi once caused a large scale riot in (what country? Kevin: Ecuador) I don’t believe it was in Ecuador. They’ve caused two riots. There was one in the Philippines and also one in Chile (separate incident)

Unnamed gbm member: ad hoc Pepsi committee but weird. You could buy a plane with Pepsi.

Banner: the judge ruled they did not have to give the dude a plane. This was one of the biggest failures of the us justice system

avalon: hello if you’ve never been to kgb meeting before please stand up (intro stuff)

Isaac Williamson: Isaac Williamson he/him, mechE, New York, I’m… scared, 2027. Does not watch football

Nathan: the committee would like to report. End report

benner: my hand’s just comfortable here

avalon: my hand’s not comfortable here

kevin: you should move to a state of more comfort

Unidentified gbm member: ad hoc committee representing unidentified gbm members: I’ve been identified too many times for comfort

Avalon: committee to identify gbm members would like to report: eshaan

eshaan: civil liberties violation of defendants’ rights

avalon: this is kgb

Eshaan: kgb gatekeeping committee: no Russian symbolism so we’re not kgb

avalon: the ad hoc rules committee : there’s no rule for that

kevin: that’s for ctfws misappropriate a different committee

nick: the misappropriated rules committee would like to report there are no rules

kevin: who has the thing?

benner: (raises hand)

kevin: who would like the thing?

avalon: me

kevin: what’s not your fault

avalon: there’s one ctfws sign still up

kevin: matt canada is

OLD BUSINESS

Motion to create the “order of the day committee 2” with purpose “to be tabled until next week”

avalon: motion to eh?

Eshaan objection

eshaan: motion to have a kangaroo court?

Ill defined

nick: motion to table for two weeks?

isaac: motion to no longer hold this clipboard

nick: undo good question

nick: call the question

Vote

Nick: good question

avalon: motion to fuck the rules

Passed, tabled for 2 weeks

NEW BUSINESS

avalon: motion to create a standing rule such that whenever someone says “motion to fuck the rules” anyone can speak without being recognized by Kevin, and Kevin must approve of this

Unidentified gbm member number 1: I think the rules’ feelings should be taken into consideration and update to “make sweet love to the rules” (not an official amendment)

isaac: motion to make sweet love to the rules

benner: motion to salute the rules

Eshaan: motion to amend with the make sweet love to the rules

Avalon: not friendly

kevin: moving on to a vote

avalon: fine it’s friendly

motion to create a standing rule such that whenever someone says “motion to make sweet love to the rules” anyone can speak without being recognized by Kevin, and Kevin must approve of this

avalon: motion to amend such that if Kevin does not approve, the general body can overrule with a majority vote

nick: steals my water bottle??

eshaan: voting is bad and we should not do it. As long as the person I like wins it’s ok

avalon: eshaan is the financial fish for democrats club

Unidentified gbm member: who’s eshaan

motion to create a standing rule such that whenever someone says “motion to make sweet love to the rules” anyone can speak without being recognized by Kevin, and Kevin must approve of this. if Kevin does not approve, the general body can overrule with a majority vote

Passed

Sold to avalon for $1

Nick, avalon, Daniel: who will

kevin: we’re not bringing who will back

charles: motion to disband kgb

eshaan: seconded

Kevin: give me one second

(Kevin is definitely checking the bylaws)

kevin: out of order

eshaan: how do you do this

kevin: first you leave then wait an hour. Then come back

nick: you can also find any room on campus and press the red button so the bylaws enforcement committee will help you

Unidentified gbm number -1: motion to disband the bylaws

isaac: motion to mourn [REDACTED]

Unidentified gbm member: fish

isaac: I am not asking, I am just mourning

avalon: requesting a report from Elise about Elise’s dictator hour (booth design meeting)

elise: elise’s dictator hour: we are planning on making a 3d Dino and a 3d meteor. We will have a little balcony. Interior walls will change slightly but we think it will be entirely feasible to have a coded Dino game where a person has to jump

(Demonstrating)

This is our walk goal, there will be a button and you jump.

charles: did you read the booth manual

elise: don’t care

avalon: what twain would say: that’s ableist

elise: yeah

eshaan: who’s in charge

elise: teddy is in charge of games

kevin: if you want to help add the @booth role on discord

nathan: ad hoc ADA committee: nowhere in the booth manual does it say the booth needs to be ada compliant

charles: I am not gonna be involved in this. You guys can learn about this yourselves

avalon: Charles what’s the heritage of your mother

charles: this is a violation of my ferpa rights

avalon: you gaslit me :(

charles: gaslighting is when you tell a friend you share an ethnicity and they think you’re lying even though you’ve never lied

avalon: gaslighting is when you tell a friend really sketchily but so they don’t believe you but it’s true

benner: this claim is false and avalon is crazy

nick: real gaslighting committee: that’s not what gaslighting means

eshaan: I miss the gatekeep and girlboss committees

nick: [REDACTED]

Eshaan: [REDACTED]

Kevin: I am impressed about your clairvoyance when it comes to [REDACTED]

avalon: ad hoc tourism committee: visit the cathedral of learning [REDACTED]

Charles: cathedral of learning committee: is there a chick-fil-a in the cathedral of learning? Is this true?

nick: ive never found it

Fish fish fish

isaac: ad hoc gaslighting committee: there is a chickfila in Cathy. you just need to look harder.

Kevin: any real motions that aren’t [REDACTED]

benner: motion to create the Wikipedia committee with purpose “whatever I find interesting on wikipedia”

Avalon: it’s a good idea

Unidentified gbm member: motion to append: whoever chairs the committee must share one fun fact at every kgb meeting

Friendly

avalon: motion to append the string “or else they must go to the corner of shame”

Friendly

kevin: what’s going on

Nick: pay attention Kevin

motion to create the Wikipedia committee with purpose “whatever I find interesting on wikipedia” and whoever chairs the committee must share one fun fact at every kgb meeting or else they must go to the corner of shame

Passed

Sold to benner for $2, chaired by “myself” not benner, but “myself”

The general body has a realization about the interpretation of this

kevin: this is a committee. It’s just words. You can’t enforce shit

isaac: motion to be joyous

Sherlock, Kevin, unidentified gbm member: (clapping)

nathan: ad hoc sorry get back to me end report

kevin: would look favorably on allocation

avalon: motion to allocate $69 and 420¢

keerthana: I have bad news

daniel: call the question

benner: motion to pass by acclimation

Objection

kevin: we have a lot of nerf guns and swords. There might be kgb the movie and kgb the movie 2 in there.

Passed.

benner: motion to allocate (2^82589933 - 1) to possible office cleaning

kevin: we don’t have that much money

It’s a prime number.

kevin: it’s an allocation, not a prime number. It’s dillatory

keerthana: motion to allocate 2^8 - 1 dollars to this week’s sippy sips and nummy nums

avalon: permission to leave my seat

(Avalon learns about the summit cola standing rule)

Unidentified gbm member: can we stop avalon

(Notes are passed in class)

Passed.

keerthana: motion to create a standing rule such that any allocation for exactly the cost of one 2-liter bottle of summit cola must be used to purchase one 2-L bottle of summit cola

charles: I will sell summit cola for any amount of money greater than $10

avalon: Motion to #define “thank you” as “fuck you”

kevin: in order. fuck the rules. Out of order

Unidentified gbm member: since when have #define s been a thing

keerthana: I believe they were started around maybe 2017 as a sequence of 213 jokes about pointers

Unidentified gbm member: are there other #definitions

Kevin: no

charles: motion to #include __file__

kevin: out of order

failed

Keerthana: this is voter fraud

kevin: no I am simply enforcing rules

avalon: motion to #define “thank you” as “fuck you”

No seconds

REAL and RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

kevin: hi we’re the cmu kgb! Exec. We have meetings on Sundays. Ask us when. We have an event! Except we don’t.

avalon: we will be cleaning the Kage with food and foam swords

avalon: I meant office

elise: we have Kage cleaning Wednesday noon

kevin: Thursday nick has a thing, avalon has office cleaning Friday, maybe ITR

Kevin: giving Tuesday is coming up. Any donation to a student org it gets matched by cmu! Ask Theo what debts you have. otherwise, I hope you don’t like your kneecaps

kevin: rules committee/retrospective on ctfws! Keep an eye out for when2meet in discord

SCHMUCKS

charles: vacant room in Kremlin. cmhv . purple lagomorph

Kevin^nick: housing for next semester/next academic year, consider Kremlin!

keerthana: motion to pass by acclimation

avalon: my hand’s just comfy

eshaan: how do we do the. W . What happens now.

Kevin: hi guys

Charles: motion to uv uv ir uv ir ir uv ir uv

keerthana: how many exec members do we need for quorum

benner: Motion to fail(147 230 190)

eshaan: motion to indigo

avalon: motion to seafoam green

charles: motion to #include gafo

kevin: motion to orange

keerthana: motion to create the broken record committee

nathan: motion to fish

kevin: motion to create the broken record committee

daniel: motion to purple

avalon: motion to red

eshaan: motion to purple

benner: motion n

isaac: motion to fuchsia

kevin: motion to turquoise

nathan: motion to the left

keerthana: motion to do homework

avalon: motion to the right

isaac: motion to take it back now

kevin: motion to two hops two hops

keerthana: my hand’s just comfy

avalon: motion to listen to the wind

kevin: hello it’s me the wind. You should consider making a motion to gift

charles: motion to get pho

avalon: motion to get fucked

benner: motion to just sit there for an hour

kevin: motion to uncancel 122

avalon: motion downwards

eshaan: motion to dance dance revolution to the song killer queen

Keerthan: motion to go up

nathan: motion to get food

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20231113

2025-08-11T21:50:26Z

Jholz: Created page with "MANIFESTATION 11/13/2023 OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: AoT Final Chapters Part II is the official title ?? they’ve renamed the 2 (?) final seasons. finally know all the titan lor..."

MANIFESTATION 11/13/2023

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: AoT Final Chapters Part II is the official title ?? they’ve renamed the 2 (?) final seasons. finally know all the titan lore (i think). can’t be spoiled

Avalon: In bed. 6 hr period. 5 hours of meetings other than kgb and tricked into vp of events

Ominous rumbling: ;asjdfsdhfjkdshfjkfgjkhgdfhjgfdjhgdfjkgh

Daniel: I had a weekend. I opened chimil at prerelease.

Nick: nothing of note

Julia: unproductive meeting for group project

Benner: Did lots of writing, last minute research, new video game Chants of Senna (i hate stealth)

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Kevin: do they exist.

Avalon: Misappropriated Going Down Committee: my grades

Benner: History of Pepsi Committee: Pepsi had 8th largest global mili

Daniel: What Snacks do you want committee: Propel.

Nick: Meal Block Committee - 18-422, or $6

Kevin: SRAM

Rumbling: grgrhrngnnrkhhgknghshgn

Nick: Piazza Committee: reap your children after they die. When the child returns it dies, then it becomes a zombie

Ethan: ad hoc What the fuck is this email committee?: Indigenous panel but all text is one letter per line. it’s very funny you should have been here to see it.

Kevin: Corsec - email from god?

Corsec: 40 years ago, the Vatican received a prophecy about the coming of the King of Kings. Its content is known only by the C.I.A. which has mind readers and an eye on the world, and the Vatican, which has already been informed about the sealed envelope hidden in the archives, and currently all people are directed to the Jakub Dragon :skull: Facebook profile, where everything is described in detail on up to date. Please read the entire content of this profile.

G.O.D.

Benner: the profile had lots of dark pictures and strange comments. nothing about cia or vatican.

Nick: my hand is just comfy

Avalon: my hand is (high five from kevin) that was a bit forceful

Nathan: the email became normal for 2 seconds but it reloaded and it’s back to being bad

Kevin: who has the thing?

Julia: do i? (takes out the thing)

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: what is not your fault this week benner?

Benner: paper due in 4h 29m

Daniel: 10pm?

everyone hates weird deadlines

Kevin: everyone else’s homework is your fault

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Kevin: who will

Nick: AFS went down so lab deadline was extended from 9pm to 12pm. 3 extra hours lmao.

NEW BUSINESS

Daniel motion to allocate 43 trillion dollars to me

Nick: motion to split the difference and round to one

Daniel: changed to 21.5 trillion

Avalon: motion to amend to add 21.5 trillion for Avalon

friendly

Benner: motion to amend to (2^82589933)-1

daniel: who? me or avalon

benner: rps

daniel wins 2-1 with triple rock

final motion: 1 to daniel and 21.5 trillion to avalon

failed?????

avalon: it’s time to be real

avalon: motion to be real

avalon is real

Julia: motion to select a number by committee

Kevin: no. do it yourself

nick: farnam has the entire 6th floor as an office in warner

nick: something about the cathedral of learning

nick: farnam the jahanian

avalon: farnam the hutt jahanian

Kevin: who will

a guy: (comes in and sits down?? what is he doing)

avalon: hi nicolas

ghost table: ooOoooOoo

Julia: so you motion to create a blank

Nick: shows me a video of kesden running around and screaming

avalon: Kesden!??

avalon watches the video of kesden running around and screaming

the video is 20 seconds long.

nick: it was about academic honesty

a guy: (looking at the door? testing the key card. )

benner: did a reading for english.

nick: motion to seafoam green

Nathan: philosophy class. hessian matrices. calculus. it’s exciting to see an integral sign in philosophy

Daniel: i hate the hessian

avalon+benner: i would not be excited by an integral sign

benner: i did get excited by looking through school board records and they banned this book twice

RRAS

kevin:

we have an event. it’s ctfws

eshaan: (comes in)

kevin: ctfws is this friday! use the stuff. don’t steal it. pay dues.

giving tuesday. donate to the university and it’s doubled! pay our dues this way.

eshaan: can we combine with thirsty thursdays?

kevin: out of order

kevin: we also need judges! but none of you have played ctfws.

nick: rkremlin is at saturday 9pm at kremlin (the russian embassy pittsburgh)

kevin: design meeting on sunday. go attend it if you want to influence it

SHMUCKS

nick: rkremlin is at saturday 9pm at kremlin (the russian embassy pittsburgh)

eshaan: mtg cube. i need ideas and beginner friendly.

avalon: motion to salute eshaan

kevin: take fun with robots. on monday 7p-8:50

nick: im taking adult fun with robots (intro to robo)

daniel: motion to the left

nick: motion to colors

avalon: motion to the right

nick: motion to stage right

nick: my hand was just comfortable like this

benner: motion to fffae7

avalon: motion to upwards

nick: motion to purple (in order)

eshaan: antiseconded

nick: this will never die

julia: motion to the corner of unshame

avalon: my hand is just comfy

nick: motion to nominate avalon as overseer

passed

avalon:(moves 2 feet)

kevin: stands up

avalon: stands on a chair

daniel: motion to bleen

nathan: motion to grue

eshaan: point of informaiton: something that is grue is green until time t and blue afterwards. something bleen is something blue until time t and green after

avalon: motion downwards

nick: motion to red

benner: motion to ... . .- ..-. --- .- -- / --. .-. . . -.

kevin: requesting a report

daniel: it said ... . .- ..-. --- .- -- / --. .-. . . -.

kevin: out of order

eshaan: motion

nick: 6d 6f 74 69 6f 6e 20 74 6f 20 47 4f 41 54

avalon: taps kevin’s shoulder

kevin: weird way to say gtfo

down with the tyrant

daniel taps nicks shoulder???? why did i do this!

nick: types 0_0

on avalon: hits enter on my keyboard

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20231106

2025-08-11T21:50:00Z

Jholz: Created page with "MEETING 11/6/23 OFFICER REPORTS Kevin: spent weekend figuring out what our standing rules are this semester, not going to enforce most of them Nick^Avalon: business busines..."

MEETING 11/6/23

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: spent weekend figuring out what our standing rules are this semester, not going to enforce most of them

Nick^Avalon: business business business oh man business, democracy

Daniel: friday, printed a thing, haven’t taken off supports, sign up for murder mystery today or tomorrow, there will be pizza

Nick: on saturday, spent 9 hours working on rockets, on sunday 12 hours doing rockets, submit to pravda, fill out the build your own pravda

Julia: saw guy walking backwards around the track, attendance

Theo: (pulls out 14 lbs of canadian pennies) redid KGB’s treasury, ironed money, brought an umbrella this time

Benner: spent basically all of yesterday and day before writing two papers thought due on monday, actually one due next week

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Twain: corn subsidies: 4.28

Charles: burn down kremlin: forgot to take lint out of lint trap

Teddy: according: to

Nathan: not yet

Benner: mis plants: amount of plants in dorm room rapidly growing

Theo: mis. it’s always fucking canada: what should we do with 15 pounds of canadian pennies (not valid currency- would have to go to federal

Nick: ah piazza: nevermind, nevermind

Twain: ah mis piazza: please make this question open to the class

Anthony: make jewelry out of them (the pennies)

Elise: mis plants: rip Jolene

Daniel: what snacks do you want at

Hivemind: mexico space your own name tequila

Theo: ah it’s always fucking canada: what is former KGB treasurer Oliver’s address (want to mail him the pennies)

Twain: mis ah piazza: one of professors keeps answering questions in followup, not in instructors answers

Xander: it sounds like we have a logistics problem of transporting to canada, we have a member of exec who knows about rockets…

Nick: sure, we can launch missiles at canada

Theo: it’s always fucking canada:can include pennies?

Nick: it could be the ballast

Teddy: mis piazza responses from fish: will there be OH this weekend?

there will be folks to answer questions on piazza are we not good enough

Anthony: ICBM look favoribly upon allocation

Twain: mis ah piazza: hw 4 cancellation. Hi, I was wondering if homework 4 could be cancelled

Nathan: mis ah piazza: bell curve IQ meme about finding limits

Theo: ah it’s always fucking canada + piazza: find the professor whos on piazza most, leave them

Nathan: practice room piano: new pianos being tuned now, on mondays and fridays, less time 11-3 pm mondays and fridays

Dana: 18 pounds weight of pennies or 18 british pounds

Theo: 30 Canadian dollars

Theo: 18 weight unit pounds

Xander: its always fucking canada: get rid of 18 pounds of pennies weight, not mass, so if we launch pennies to deep space, it will be 0 pounds

Nick: ah destroy canada: destroy canada?

Theo: ah it’s always fucking canada: everyone takes 100 canadian pennies and just hands them to people leaving meeting

Elise: I can take one and put one on every design student’s desk

Theo: in kgb’s eyes, these pennies are no longer legal tender

Benner: if anyone wants to sort, pennies made before 1996 are 98% copper

Twain: ah who needs piazza: please email all hw directly to me

STANDING RULE BREAKER BOX

Benner has thing, Julia wants, not fault: all those pennies

NEW BUSINESS

Theo: motion to allocate 18 pounds of canadian pennies to the bit?

Nick: motion to allocate 1000 pennies to this weeks event for sippy sips and nummy nums (unseconded)

Nick: motion to allocate 5000 pennies for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Daniel: motion to amend to 10,000 pennies (friendly, been changed)

Theo: amend to 20,000 half pennies (ill defined)

Charles: motion to amend to 500,000 mil (1/1000th of a dollar)

Daniel: coinage act fish discontinued half cent

Anthony: motion to amend the allocation to 50 2$ bills (friendly, been changed)

Xander: I want to say we did get a sheet of original mint 2$ bills, do not have access to parent house

Theo: KGB treasury owns a 2$ bill

Xander: photocopy 2$ bill

Passed, been allocated (100$)

Daniel: motion to create the whack a mole committee “to whack moles”

Julia: motion to amend purpose to “to create a fun little minigame for Kevin in meeting” (friendly, been changed)

Theo: append “and to give people in the corner of shame something to do” (friendly, been changed)

Passed, sold to Anthony for $2.50, chaired by “a mole”

Nathan: motion to make the piazza committee “to report on funny posts on piazza, as been ad hoc-ed many times”

Twain: do we count posts from previous semesters

Nathan: sure

Passed, sold to Daniel for 7$, chaired by “good question”

Charles: motion to create the q-azza committee “to be the logical consequence of the piazza committee”

Daniel: motion to amend to the “piazzn’t committee” (friendly, been changed)

Passed, sold to Nick for 3$, chaired by “bad question”

Anthony: motion to create the “KGBitcoin minting committee” “to get all the pennies to be melted down and forged into kgbitcoin”

(Discussion of the legality)

Daniel: could get souvenier penny machines

Anthony: rescinds motion

Twain: is I pull out still a thing

Kevin: yes, first thing we did

Twain: motion to create a standing rule such that saying good question is counted as raising your hand on votes for motions, and undo good question is counted as raising your hand on votes against

(Various piazza actions)

Passed, been stood, sold for 1$ to Nick

Teddy: motion to create the “” committeee purpose: “” (“” denoting a few seconds of silence)

Passed, kevin complains about counting “good questions”, sold for 2$ to Anthony, chaired by “”

Xander: motion to book a canada, spot on the escalators between train and arrivals departure terminal,

Nick: motion to create the penny rumination committee “to ruminate on the pennies”

Julia: hand them out to everybody who comes into the booth?

Theo: append using the general body put one penny on every desk in this room (MM103) after every gbm until there are no pennies left to the purpose (Friendly, been changed)

Daniel: ruminants wouldn’t be able to digest pennies

Passed, sold for 2$ to Daniel, chaired by “canadian abraham lincoln”

Anthony: motion to create a standing rule such that if the number of minutes in the time is divisible by 6 the motion fails

Theo: amend such that the person proposing the motion loses 60 hp

Failed

Benner: motion to create the history of pepsi committee “looking into the history of pepsi and the many strange things that have occurred in it”

Nick: pepsi battleship, pepsi battleship, pepsi battleship

Sold for 3$ to Anthony, chaired by the admiral of pepsi

Twain: motion to create the committee for amateurs named nes “new biz ness”

Nick: pk fire

Benner: motion to fail by acclamation

Failed

Theo: motion to create a standing rule such that you can “” by acclamation and no one can speak of the standing rule for 2 weeks and it gets tabled

(Failed)

Anthony: motion to create the internet explorer committee “reporting on the news except its the news from 40 years ago”

Daniel: literally 1984

Dana: original macintosh

Nick: the UK is hit by red rain dubbed “blood rain”…

Passed, sold for 1$ to Anthony, chaired by “whoever the president of KGB was 20 years ago”

Charles: oh, this KGB

Daniel: motion to #define the corner of un-shame, as the upstage most, stage-leftmost corner Julia: motion to amend “un-shame” to pride (unfriendly, not strong)

Passed, been #defined

Daniel: motion to create a new standing rule such that no-one may enter the corner of un-shame

Failed

Theo: motion to create a standing rule such that we send people to the corner of un-shame only if a committee, standing rule, or #definition passes unanimously (must pass through a vote, not through acclamation)

Nick: is it mandatory

Theo: yes

Sold for 1$ to nick

Daniel, sadly from the corner of shame: how long has it been, I can’t see the clock from here

RRA

Kevin: we r kgb, we r exec

Daniel: sign up for event, there will be pizza, if you have signed up and you can’t make it please let me know immediately

Xander: how long is signup for

Kevin: until tomorrow

Kevin: we also have an event next week: capture the flag with stuff, we play capture the flag but with felt and foam stuff, will explain rules on day of, join us for that, the friday after this friday

SCHMUCKS

Charles: one vacancy in Kremlin in December, I can hook you up with a nice to live, its like the best place to live, let me know if you want to live there

Anthony: have song coming out on Friday, if you’re registered to vote, vote

Kevin: take stuco fun with robots, DM kevin for details

Twain: who asked

Charles: taupe, gitfo

[[Category: Minutes]]