KGB Wiki - User contributions [en]

MinutesDecember2004

2013-04-12T18:40:05Z

Johnson6: stale pointer

12.08.04:
Abe- Styger officer of the week- excellent foodstuff, 50 comrade
points, can Kevin be impeached from officer of the week?, handed in
assignment 4, psych exam, graphics II, algorithms live in papers,
immaculate conception, mass

Akiva- can buy booze now- can bake better cakes, Matt hasn't finished
easy part of assignment 4, plane tickets, fire engine- Pittsburgh
bureau of fire, firemen in Fahrenheit 451

Styger: Event- shantytown, cocoa, instant coffee, need somewhere to
use chopsaw, everyone in the world does shopping at 1630, no cider,
will try, PA otherwise creepy powder stuff, PA doesn't sell alcohol in
grocery stores, geek eat, Em likes her pants on, PH A18C- LOTR,
someone better buy ROTK, starting at noon, double feature tomorrow, we
could have LOTR in all of Porter

mkehrt- full of stress, OS dying in horrible new ways, meeting, Ivan's
hazardous

rlambert- nothing has happened in the last two days, mao, 50 comrade
points to Lizza, stoners

Em: $[censored], some banks won't cash checks after 6 months, did
anyone else try to cross Forbes 20 minutes ago with the Channukah
parade, Akiva says pita with Frosted Flakes is the breakfast of
champions, riboflavin

Lizza: shantytown, rolls of plastic, green tea with no carbohydrates,
boxes- we don't have them left, Stu and Maya liked centralized heating
systems as a booth theme, someone else liked dining- how things don't
work

Committee for the Propagation of Random Art on Campus- tree between
Doherty and Purnell- fake leaves, tied on, really cool, subtle

Blasphemy- in favor of alternative religions having parades in the
street, Akiva's awesome, Jews are awesome, Akiva's blasphemous

Booth- pick plot, copywright man, shouldn't put end to Fight Club in
minutes because Brewer hasn't seen it, specific theme, if any of us
are booth chair in the future, don't pick a theme where you have to
recursively choose a theme, museum of Victorian-era quack science-
phrenology, scare away the quack scientists with pitchforks for
getting your brother hooked on opium, DU selecting last for plot,
wants to trade- offered up wood, $100, case of beer, Ed offered
counteroffer of $10,000, Em authorizes him to take anything over KGB's
current budget, Rasputin's beer

Ad hoc committee to talk about wankerous things and finish Emily's
report because she remembered- carnival- constitution, lack of
doomsday wankery- someone said yes it could happen, but everyone else
said it wouldn't- holes- if advisor doesn't speak to chairperson,
chairperson can't be impeached, can't proxy for more than one person,
absentee ballots, (Abe's pants are wet, exit Abe)

Akiva will kill Matt and burn his house down if he doesn't get his
part working- will probably be president, we have 2 vacancies to fill

entertain a motion to impeach Abe, put this in the minutes to show
people they should come to exec to stop us from doing stupid things

Motion #define Akiva Gerald Ford, passes

resignations- Do you have to do anything, or just say "I resign"?,
Rebecca just resigned

Greenhouse? Wes has a lighting design class, lab at 0600, maybe
sniffing chemicals, Rebecca should be nice to Wes in the minutes

As the chair, Gerald Ford has no opinion on the subject of Wes being crazy

Lizza going to Aladdin's tonight, dlstern going to office hours

mlowry- babble about lighting lab

Lizza- sprayed with chemicals multiple times in lab today

Gerald Ford would entertain a motion to make a fact-finding committee-
ordinary committee of exec, Styger makes said motion, randomly obtain
information and only give it to people in bad reports that are
collated and too late to be any relevance, Lizza stole 6 buttons when
she was 4, Em's friend tied brother to chair, passes, exec is chair

Frosted flake throne- plastic bag king

toilets- wonderful places to grow flatworms

Enter Jim Puls- 50 comrade points if he schmucks- has final
evaluations for StuCo, was gonna order food, fuck, Coco

person with hair and face and shiny shirt used to collect poisons

Styger used to have two jars of hepatitis B in her room

Matt had a friend with a goat brain

In Japanese, 4 words sound distressingly similar- pretty, dirty, scary,
cute, stupid cat- baka neko, kumo- cloud or spider, tako- octopus or
taco, something- persimmon or oyster

motion to censure the Japanese- no second

motion to close the meeting, Ivan's not allowed to talk, fails because
it's stupid

3 motions to adjourn, dlstern is out of the family

adjourn- resuscitate

OS final Monday at 1330, need one more officer for quorum, Gerald Ford
isn't conniving

adjourn

12.13.04:
Body part of the week- head crabs (at first I mistyped that as craps)

Abe: glorious Pravda?'s, corsec's brain in gear- reverse, Submission 3
generated by Markov chains, invocation to a muse, dkaplan's slash,
lives in Roselawn Terrace Number 7, dining room, horrible light
fixture, 5 places for light bulbs, one unable to take a bulb, 2 of 4
main bulbs burned out, pulls one out, covered in horrible black filth,
ceiling rained, but did not rain black filth, Ed covered in black
filth, replaced one bulb, tested it, other light turned on, another
bulb glowing blue, fizzles out

Akiva: we should all shut up, stat final, crushed it, easy, stupid, in
box of copies- he's copies, encourages meeting to end early in case
anyone has finals, quuxum groped him,

Styger: 2 events- Geek Eat, reading day,
1200 Friday- watching all of LOTR extended, all at once, pillows,
snack things, things to pretend to be studying from, PHA18C

Matt: Pravda?- made them, free time now, in theory, will make lots of
Pravda?'s, submit to Pravda?, prefers coherent English, no Markov
chains, no German, no French, read them, yesterday sucked (between 7
this morning and 12 this afternoon), exam at 0830- went to bed, didn't
fall asleep, Ed woke him up, fell asleep, Abe did something, woke up,
fell asleep, woke up, fell asleep, woke up, lost power button on
phone, went to lounge to get soda, didn't have keys, crushed exam,
hopes, went to bed, woke up, awesome, Ed singing at noon

Rebecca: snow, people who have never seen it are amusing, gjetost- Norwegian
cheese (mkehrt- something in Pravda? by manic freshman in cluster)

Emily: didn't get enough snow to cancel finals, some people think 1/8
inch is a lot of snow, environmental exam went well- figured out where
it was 10 min before the exam, something they hadn't done in class, TA
told her the wrong thing, finished early, cookies might be allergic to
people, 5.36 kiteboarding in Jamaica for a week of lessons, Tartan
ipod article almost as long as one about AIDS

Lizza: goth club dressed as hippy, are we happy with our belly
buttons? plastic surgery, will take old belly buttons in jars

Committees:

Pop Occultism: understanding will help a friend in need, traveler at
heart, many journeys across the Mexican border, I am the master of my
fate, I am the captain of my soul, love is a present that can be given
every single day you live, not going any further on that one, to
affect the quality of the day is no small achievement

Suggest trebuchet targets- snowball fight

Booth- booth for great justice, meeting to pick themes, can start
drawing up mighty booth plans, email from booth people that said they
think there will be lots of duplicate themes- does not anticipate a
problem, needs new boots

Lizza's roommate ate lots of chicken and chocolate, care package with
chocolate- didn't want it, laughed at her, chocolate committee reports
success

Committee for the Propagation of Random Art on Campus: final projects,
snow sculptures, look up

Committee to get KGB a whip- 12 feet long, not high quality, from
Mexico

No pants committee- go to hell

Assassin committee- starts tonight at midnight, email gwillen or Xander

cat committee- meow

committee to destroy Ohio- asks Lizza to remove her pants, will be
moving to Kentucky, something about a band and being shot and killed
in Columbus, bad things happen in Ohio

Old business:

Cuban pfennig- johnson6

pfennig- Jeff, except finals

Cort Stratton- illustrious ex KGB something gave us $100 at event,
gets emails every day from KremSparc

Board for assassins- assocs.kgb.assasin (spelled that way)

New business:

rlambert- Motion to pass a resolution declaring that KGB did not
poison Viktor Yushchenko- Ukrainian pro-western presidential
candidate, Xander wants to take responsibility, we do not endorse his
actions, passes- KGB is not responsible

Mym- motion that KGB is not responsible in general (isn't that why
we have the pfennig?), What if there's something we want to be
responsible for?, vote on this now, then propose things that cost
people money, passes- KGB is not responsible

mkehrt- allocation <= 27 for Pravda?, passes

Styger- allocation <= $50 for LOTR to eat and drink, Ed voted 3 times,
passes

Standing rule of order- can vote multiple times if have paid dues
multiple times, but have to vote differently- can vote for and
against, but not for twice, passes, pay lots of dues

committee for bad news- so drquuxum doesn't have to do it in schmucks,
friendly amendment to good news for people who love bad news
committee, unfriendly amendment to good idea bad idea committee, good
idea, good idea, bad idea, good idea, passes, good idea- feeding
kittens, bad idea- feeding kittens to polar bears, quack like a duck,
quack like a duck being eaten by a polar bear, quack like a polar
bear, passes, bidding is at $25, Carmen is on Ed's lap, $25 to
drquuxum, he's chair

motion to build KGB the thickmost boot- Norse mythology- scraps of
leather and armor to stomp out the biggest enemy, shawn says some
Norse words I don't know, gwillen is eating a cookie, $6.50 to Styger,
she's chair, and whoever[sic] else has leather

Committee to ensconce approved members in liquid latex, shawn
disturbed by use of the word "members", ensconcing Carmen in liquid
latex, dlstern has big, gangly friends, drquuxum is the new Kevin
Shiue, $11.50 to Styger, she and Luke and Rachael are chair

Committee to encode approved members in LaTeX \{begin document}It's a
good idea\{end document} still disturbed by use of the word member,
Clippy, gwillen, $8.50 to Brian, he's chair (exit Ivan)

Lizza just got a present- jingles and makes music, from roommate's parents

Actual, Real Relevant Announcements pertaining to the business of CIA
as an organization:

CIA has finals, 2 events, come to both, RSVP for first

Pravda?, take one, submit to Pravda?

Snowing, no rolls

Assassin- email one of the chairs by midnight if haven't already and
interested

Schmucks:

not fun when you have exam at 13 and get out of shower at 1230 and
door locked- Oh shit, my notes are in there!, Oh shit, my coat is in
there!, Oh shit, my pants are in there!

Minnesota- man bitten in genitals by a police dog

move to punchline, move to punch him

first exposure to SO's parents is them seeing you win Jeopardy

Genitals!

bottle backrubs- should be able to buy from vending machine and drink
it

Motion to bring KGB into the drug industry- out of order

adjourn, but Akiva wanted to schmuck about his exec meeting

12.15.04:
Abe- was going to buy cheese, chocolate, Styger got the best cheese
ever, weird, tasty, we all like cheese, other things happened, no
work, Abe and Styger officer of the week, chocolate labeled in
chocolate

Akiva- sitting around awesome, stat, this part of the experimental
space contains no cheese, interpret regression, psych final, B's in
psych classes even though really easy, don't involve work, IBM wanted
to interview him about something boring

Styger- thing Friday, stuff, $10 left on allocation, cheese expensive,
lots of popcorn, (Abe is in Styger's face- things on hter thing-
Illuminati pins), event tonight, Laurel, Chris, Lars, cute tall blond
boy- Wes' friend

Matt- postcard in our mailbox from vet in Illinois for Rodney Aker,
P.O. Box 54, dog needs checkup, Lars gave him a hat, wonderful, Lars
is visiting, flavor of the universe changed last night

Rebecca- writing on paper, killed, was going to say Lars is here, but
Matt already said it, (A Phi O stole room with fabric, we should knit
a booth)

Em- Matt has no interesting mail for her of mail containing interest,
~$[censored], is Abe embezzling?, pfriedma still on account, cort was
1VP, only takes Em to add Abe to account, don't know if we can get
pfriedma off, something happened, laughing for like 3 minutes,
Waterfront- ran into Alisa, roommate three times, Squill, Fuddle,
finished glove, pink is grandmother-colored

Lizza- building shelves in Kage next semester, should build a loft,
Em's nose moves when she talks, cute, been wearing gloves a lot,
pensive, no angst, uses LJ to stalk people- sister, should get one and
put people she stalks on friends list, useless stuff, do better job
picking date/name for auction, MLK day is Jan 17

[Enter woman with puppy; Lizza goes to see it, Ivan too]

Committees-

booth gone, Ed and dlstern coming to event, bug in ML

Abe- special issue of Better Homes- Christmas recipes- line at Geagle,
horrible muffins, ice cream, stuff, Abe so domestic (rambling out of
order)

Fact-finding committee- Akiva and Ed performing Psyfe's play someday

Committee for the Propagation of Random Art on Campus- final projects
by actual art students, one with glass in the connector between Wean
and Doherty

Committee for the Propagation of Random Art on Campus/Random Walks
committee- took a random walk in CFA

Random Walks- randomly walked instead of normal routes to avoid
getting killed, killed anyway

Chocolate committee- success

Judicious exhumation- pictures of mkehrt for Christmas cards

Luke- 3 gallon pot- KGB's- wants to buy it, hors d'oeuvres, cheese
plate, beer bread, we have to be decadent and corrupt, rlambert
shouldn't put that in minutes- people read it, accept beer, bread,
cheese, money for pot- first exec meeting he attends after break, roll
call vote: Akiva: for, Styger for, Matt against, Rebecca abstain, Em
abstain, Lizza abstain

Motion to undo the previous motion because horrible- passes- bring up
pot at general body meeting

Use THE FUND to buy Akiva cheese- no

Abe would entertain a motion to buy us candy with THE FUND

Akiva- motion to impeach Abe for corruption

Corruption not grounds for impeachment

Motion to corrupt Abe so we can impeach him

room- meetings next semester- not until room scheduling for classes is
final, exec meetings- write name on green paper, A Phi O will tear it
down again

13 minutes until people show up for Geek Eat

sock in sock in jacket

"The chair does not recognize yo' ass."

Styger's old roommate- poem of the week on the thing

isomorphize Wes and Laurel's ass

mkehrt not allowed to say Ivan killed him

Best part of an in-joke

rlambert- writing by hand, thick pencil, fingers hurt

mkehrt- impeach for deriliction of duty, leaving

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Ideer

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no ideer

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Fsh

What do you call a man with no arms and legs on the floor? Mat.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pool? Bob.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves? Russell.

Motion to censor Luke, no second, none of Akiva's motions were
seconded today, won't recognize him

What do you call an Irish man bouncing around the room? Rick O'Shay

Abe is a pigfucker

Abe is a swine congressor

Port Authority

We hate Akiva

booth- got the theme

jaundice

19th century sclerosis

rlambert chases bohanlon with a sock; he runs away- should someone
tell him rlambert's dead? assasssins- antisocial behavior

motion to adjourn because rlambert's tired of writing, no second, no,
Abe says something really long so rlambert has to write it

motion to close the meeting, passes, adjourn, second, leave

12.20.04:
Body part of the week: The fire that is burning Abe's house down

Abe: busy studying for logic final, gave Akiva instructions for a
witless freshman to give his report, [enter Ricky] Ricky: OS sucks,
consumes me, final sucked, going to whine about it on livejournal, end
report

Akiva: not Abe, wearing Akiva's report, OS final awesome and easy and
fun and interesting, candy, going home Wednesday, should buy him
things- Hannukah and birthday over, Lizza gave him pure powdered
citric acid, gave it back to her, snow, glass

Styger: Xander- no event- going home, you losers, started to die,
didn't, dooom, allergies- bed in a closet, allergic to dust

Matt: OS over, econ final, worse on that than OS final, average grade
will be 50- true/false, life pretty good, done with stress, going home

Rebecca: cs final- candy, instant Indian food, asks mrwright to report
for her- no talking about bitterness or classes, ice in mrwright's
shirt watched mrwright eat

Emily: told her to use foldr, couldn't remember how it worked, puppy,
Kissie, grades, miscalculated, excited, 440 balls of really pretty yarn
she finished her gloves out of, knitting not with her, Tartans have
been coming out every 12-16 days, we should throw pennies again
because Ivan's not here

Lizza: wonderful finals week, learned lots of stuff, motivated,
productive, unproductive in learning school stuff, learned about
active ingredient in poison ivy, oxygen, humidity, lacquer, citric
acid- can you snort it?, nifty bracelet

Committees:

get drquuxum to buy more committees- bad day

campus lectures and political speakers- emergency speech today on
quantum information theory so he can pass physics colloquium, meet at
1830 in CS lounge, will go somewhere

Akiva's committee- Pittsburgh- bureau of fire, not fire dept

Assassins- game ended 12 minutes ago, tie- 4 people alive, 2 have 2
kills each- guyg and lcoyne, will duel, gprice, dkb, gprice on campus
once this week

Akiva- We don't accept Chuck E Cheese currency, unless we can exchange
a bunch of them for a giant ball pit

Booth- will start happening next semester- bring tools

Pop occultism- refreshing change- snort citric acid, formally helping
others, 15-666, talk with friend

Random art: CFA- exhibit about Margaret Morrison basement construction
and main steam tunnel, journal about taking pictures

Old business: Peso- Xander, pfennig- jgrafton- Christmas music?
visiting TJ is not his pfault (away message)

New business:

mrwright- Committee to excavate more steam tunnels- how secure would
they be? Budget for toothbrushes?, Will they exist? no, committee to
destroy Ohio might be interested, will they make more steam and make
Em's room actually warm, free coffee in Morewood, can have Xander's
steam, passes, Xander for $4, he's chair

kbare- Quango of esoteric curiosities- Akiva would change motion to
rename to something he can pronounce, fuck Xander, might have to kick
drquuxum out of meeting for violating protocol, pick fight with
lexicographer, passes, does he feel like auctioning this shit?, $10.50
to Keith, he's chair

Committee to encourage everyone to take OS- in conflict with AbomCom,
Your mom in conflict with AbomCom, especially dead people, Andrew
Carnegie's deceased corpse and zombie corpse will be partners,
Creidieki doesn't want to touch a computer, if you pay your dues
twice, you can vote twice, can chair vote once and do normal
activities if paid dues twice?, HUB full of dead people, Akiva,
mkehrt, mrwright, $9, de0u is chair

Committee for Emperor Norton II- widow Norton is a drag queen, passes,
$5 to Shawn, Akiva's freshman suitemate had problems with articles,
drquuxum is chair

Incomplete commit- It's a, mr, transactions suck, committee for gags
that work one time and then fall flat- succ, change to incompleteness
commit, agree with, call to, fuck Godel's corpse, $5 to drquuxum, he
and Creidieki chair

Motion to a different country, temperature in Canada higher in Celcius
than Fahrenheit

Announcements:

Let Lizza know if you need her number

Creidieki- lecture in CS lounge

Gwillen lives in a giant bucket

Akiva's the queen of France

Styger hates us and wants us to go home; should wear funny hats more
often, makes her look like mushroom

Schmucks:

Ladder that says KGB has been in WW or Resnik for weeks, not ours

Quorum call, die, bitch

Alan Parsons- 56, Yuri Gellar- advanced spoon bending 58

People who like stories and Music- go to Jess' house tomorrow night

Dan woke up and checked email- father went to airport to pick him up,
and he wasn't there- flight left at 0900, not 2100, pays $200 extra,
leaves tomorrow

Lizza- prof drunk, expert in materials science, ate pretty chemicals
in lab

Keith- has to wake up before a lot of people go to sleep

Shawn- cumulative QPA went up, graduating, graduating fall 2006, pipes
in house really close to outside wall, freeze when heating coils off,
plugs into outlet on porch, mother plugged in Christmas lights, no
water

de0u not here- fraud, abuse is always here

Who wants to be a beautiful martyr?

Akiva making reasonable case for himself as next president- someone in
this room can read abuse@andrew

Akiva- Abe is like a Catholic or something, some special mass, knocked
up, left exec early, ran meeting, went back to new business 3 times,
meeting started over 3 times,

Committees:

committee to take down KGB from the inside- success

Officer reports:

Styger- no event, can go home, wherever, body part of the week was
going to be frostbite, but Abe's house burning down, not mkehrt's

misappropriation- alternate chronologies

timecube- cube proves you're stupid

Take OS- take OS

Assassinate president

Akiva has two hats

Why has Styger's hat become a cheap whore

Vague threats will kill us all

Committee to keep people from adjourning too early- motion to adjourn

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20050127-20050209

2013-04-12T18:39:38Z

Johnson6: stale pointer

01.27.05:

Abe- EA- threw him out, gave him free food, hungry so will schmuck
everything he forgot later, should make sign-in sheet for UC303- KGB
PWNZ0rZ J00

Akiva- nice to see some officers here, hates us all except Rebecca and
Emily, bored in psych cluster, talk about library website, looked
through ~kgb, once ran game of assassins for money- $5 to play, win
$1/kill, $50 for winning

cpride, you kinda look like styger, give a report now. Luke, you look
like Styger. You should give a report now. Hair is long, pretty, you
should all have hair like mine, event Friday, come and bring lots of
money and lots of friends who have lots of money (enter Styger)
Styger: event, probably going to make piles and piles of money, movie
night?- mid mini break- can get drunk as hell as your Superbowl party,
bees out of pipe cleaners and put them on the fence, cover fence in
snow and paint with food coloring, cover in frosting and paint with
food coloring, beat on Akiva since he has no classes on Friday,
Clue/Kill Dr. Akiva, Akiva thinks Luke should die, (Akiva says we once
had a Tom Lehrer sing along night), Lizza- popcorn maker, run laps
around the UC, do Emily's homework, write an OS in one night, make
play dough

Matt: experimental physics takes forever, still sick, not sleeping-
coughing instead, don't have anything in mail, shawn claims he'll send
consent forms

Rebecca: What happened in the last two days? Didn't get book, ate
chocolate, had office hours, not many people came, has boring reports
Wednesdays, Indian food in the mail

Emily: $[censored], Boston got 30 inches of snow, that happened for
Matt's MIT interview, called mom- bad decision, mother's gone back
through DARE, housing, mother visiting, not happy with campus housing,
not happy with living off campus, asking if she really wanted a
computer- would she rather have money toward rent next year? Said
computer- won't do the thing in the future, threw out her back,
recreational hiking in winter in Presidentials, monitor black and says
"Mac Mini Bundle"

Lizza- fell asleep, great dream about alien silver worms, mutated with
them, saved a few people, Styger demon goddess she had to kill, Abe
survived, Luke and lea not in it, everyone else dead, flamethrower,
skiing Sunday in Schenley, guy jogging, following pink ribbons,
couldn't find group, 8 people drinking beer, drinking club with an
exercise problem, people threw beer cans at her, la cucaracha

T-shirt committee- 20 things everywhere around, could switch from
[censored], but [censored] already has old screens, decide what to
print- Tetris, booth this year, CTFWS, Abe's- actions not endorsed by
KGB, Styger will give Lizza sizes, bell curve centered at L instead of
XXL, design contest for CTFWS contest, Akiva said general body is
dumb, Rebecca is putting that in the minutes, remember to announce
contest Monday, whoever's design is chosen gets free shirt

Booth- Gesling Kage, count wall sections, crapload of money for booth,
can force people to work for booth, war of Jenkins' ear, rough idea of
what he wants to do for roof, waterproofing, have fixed dates for what
will be done by when, crack down on people- we have a whip, entire
organization can get dequeued for people who don't go to school here

Bylaws- meeting monday at 1730, dancing and singing in the streets

bgilbert- I move that that not be in the minutes.
rlambert- I know what doesn't go in the minutes

Luke- Nazis in conversations, touch that kills, goal line in
residence- working toward mad scientist degree, be Russian mad
scientist and get some SURFs

Lizza is hulaing, Lizza begs to be recognized, would be much obliged
if we would all tell her all what kind of fruit we are
Akiva- starfruit
lea- lemon or pear
mkehrt- banana
dkaplan is anything flambe
Em- probably pear
mlowry- something sharp and sour, lime

01.31.05:
Abe- not here last week, we were lost in his absence, interviews,
hotel wanted to be French, no French maids, eye candy

Akiva- built empire out of hate, morning class canceled, new people:
fish can't talk, dead, no name or major, catfish spawn in late
may/early June, noodling- if something bites your arm you grab it up,
Andrew, CS, alive, Sagar, econ, did laundry

Styger- movie night, DH2210, chalk dying, board covered in calculus,
bring DVDs and fight over them

Matt- still sick, sucks, 3 weeks, graphics, went to bed around 5,
pointers, experimental evil, OCAML, ML wonderful, submit to Pravda?,
erotic German love poetry to Callie, F&F waitress

Rebecca- sold herself, Geico sucks- want medical history, but don't
completely suck- want to give money for pain and suffering even though
wasn't in pain and dind't suffer

Em- gave her money the other night, should continue doing so, half of
us still haven't paid, 131 people at average 3rd bidder price, new
record for single person, almost twice as many guys as girls, guys
made 875, girls made 1337, guys 46, girls 68 without Styger, 111 with

Lizza- skills in voice projection, big fish, thermos named Samwise,
pockets filled with wonderful wonderful things, chopsticks, cool
sparkly things, parents love her more than they love all of us,
cutting board, Em's birthday, present- purple lamp

Committees:

Politically Incorrect committee- Iraq has more freedoms than us, what
is up with HS students who don't know bill of rights? 3/4 think it's
illegal to burn US flag, 1/2 think govt should censor newspapers,
abermude says we go 2nd amendment on their ass

one of dlstern's committees- HSers listening to crazy music and should
get off his lawn

booth- thanks everyone who sold selves, bought people, thanks Styger
3-12 times as much, wants to talk to people about roof, count
wall/floor sections Saturday- meet at Kirr, cantelever

Gratuitous obscenity- alarmed that dlstern not being gratuitously obscene

Committee to get drquuxum to buy more committees: branched out, $290

Good idea/bad idea- supreme court of Canada- masturbation not illegal
in your own home

Campus security- international student with conservative parents
should not do stupid shit, if you happen to be a member of EMS and EMS
gets called for you, you become an example

Bylaws- meeting today after this meeting

Committee to find or build Abe a girlfriend- plotting, plans underway,
give Erin support and moneys (Lizza offers Abe her fish)

Pop occultism- patience key to joy, happiness intertwines with outlook
on life, sadness foot stuck under heavy object, lookout and alibi, 20
seconds to live

False candy- Lizza's a meanie

Assassins- new game rule changes

Lizza- tshirt committee, two contests- CTFWS, booth, submit designs by
16th, Abe will post about formats and stuff, restrict to 1-2 colors on
solid background, free tshirt if we pick your design, my actions
shirts, last year's booth, smelly box is the archive and we never open
it ever

Assassinate president- diffused bomb in radiator

Old business:

pfennig- Styger, heat death

New business:

Motion to create Some other committee I own- fails

Motion to spend KGB's Canadian currency in Canada, make money off of
things we couldn't've used in the first place, send someone to one of
Canada's fine stripping establishments, Ed supports Dave's viewing of
naked women, let kinky committee have a say- a lot of establishments
let women in for free, mumble mumble strippers in Canada, fails by one
vote

Committee to deport dlstern to Colombia, should wait until after
booth, strip clubs in Colombia US govt will pay if we do it right,
launch him with trebuchet, if we give him money for condoms he'll
bring us cocaine, give dlstern a hug, $7 to Keith, Ed is chair

Committee to acquire more strippers for KGB, booth chair- paint
strippers, wire strippers, Julie says we should just strip, $6 to
mghio

Announcements

Allocation <= $50 for chloroform for strippers, out of order

Movie night, bring DVDs

Gopi Flaherty now a father

rlambert hasn't gotten back attendance sheet

Em- give her money, sign contracts, bring money for groups as much
together as possible, make it clear what goes toward which person

Functor now running tetrinet server

Bylaws meeting in 15 minutes

Booth- give money so he can buy things, Saturday 14 at Gesling cage,
meet in Kirr

assocs.kgb.assassins

Send tshirt design drawings

Schmucks:

bohanlon- hard drive crashed so running from CD, and now CD drive
broken, strip club in middle east- woman rolled up sleeves

vkaplan- what hand does a smoker use?

llmiller- go to 36th floor of Cathedral- art

Luke- parliamentary procedure- when you are recognized, it's for one
thing, mentioned it in schmucks bc no one cares

gwillen- Canada

monkeys give up juice for porn of other monkey

02.02.05:

Abe: people cooking Jess in pot at Em's house, shoelaces sad, probably
other stuff, really fucking busy

Akiva- talk by connor's dad, had to leave before pizza, no hw due
until weds

styger: movie night, bring popcorn, why do people put their stuff in the
office? Em's stuff there, bitterness party, be bitter, no event for
week after that, $50 food allocation, chocolate, FUND?, not really
necessary, clue/masquerade ball, John Nesky- trenchcoat with smiley
face, does something cool when he sits down, [censored], OC
amphetamines, get Abe really drunk, he can have sex in the woods, we
could get a bus and go somewhere, no longer dishwasher in her garage

Matt: still sick, slept 12 hours, sicker than yesterday, will sit and wait
for Abe to recognize him, implementing game of life in graphics for
coloring vertices, still sick

Rebecca: Hasn't had caffeine since friday, 8 cups decaf tea/day, used to
be 8
cups caf, asks Akiva to give her report, Rebecca wants him to waste
30 seconds, kinda pointless, because we won't remember this happened,
hand gestures, Abe, I'm gonna kill you.

Em: $[censored], give her money, deposit checks, when we're off by
$[censored], it makes her want to cry, Luke accepted $[censored] from
nowhere as part of treasury, mtomczak had no idea where it came from,
so much money, see about wasting KGB's money on 18th, Jess getting
yarn, brother used to tangle it and throw it with toys down 2nd floor
balcony, Styger used to keep moving her brother's toy when he tried to
go toward it

Lizza: How long can she talk and get people to interrupt her? Lots of
interruptions, orchestra, forgot pocketknife, soup, saw a crocus, does
Pravda? have chains and whip and pieces of leather, really happy,
strange drug in dorm room?

booth: design things about roof, basic plan for it- wants to find out
now if it won't work, dave pounding on table saying "fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck", don't need key to open Gesling Kage

much more interesting when Abe isn't fucking tired

Update website? Pravda? People don't want their email addresses
there

bgilbert was talking to Wes, KremCube can be made to run linux, want
to be able to update without recompiling, maybe can actually have a
KremCube this year

Monkeys aren't eating cheese, Akiva wants some too, monkey's throw it,
Mars needs women, no porn on Mars, Russian dinner, potlucks don't
work, $100 sandwich?, causes physical pain to people watching, person
that gets it out of the Wean vending machine, nudie night, cheese
tasting, KGB gets bored easily, cheese wrestling, Akiva is hot, could
raise minimum KGB body temperature, bonfire, dance thing in Mudge
lounge, Peter/Wright/McKenna, lazy Susan with pope head, legos,
construction paper, pipe cleaners, finger paint, buy legos from AB?,
giant inflatable dinosaur

Tartan send mkehrt email, want representative from each organization
to talk to if they have questions, mkehrt or Abe, what happens if we
just don't talk to them? They publish more slanders and lies about
us, mkehrt is malleable, mkehrt

Gratuitous decadence committee- teapots, velvet, curtains, foie gras,
brie, various types of cheese, kittens and puppies, ferrets as coats,
baby ferrets as coats, don't like being sewn together while alive,
real human hair or hair of a moose, powdered wigs, Abe only gets to
wear black from now on, black silk and black leather, bad guys wear
black, good guys wear black leather, counting event, gold coins,
bludgeons, maybe some crackers because we are being gratuitous, cake,
only hot water and indoor plumbing for the rest of our days, no high
sea in waterfountain, champagne? Truffle fountain, butlers, maids,
segways, passes, no one's abstaining when we're doing gratuitous
decadence

Committee to embezzle from KGB- already exists

chess taken down

02.07.05:

Body part of the week: officer quorum

Abe- we're shutting up because we love Abe so much. Last night-
thing, thought about having an antithing party, woke up, Jewish
bakery, potato thing, spinach thing, chocolate thing

Akiva- crossword puzzle, far too much time doing crossword puzzle,
good movies, ok movie, goddamn awful movie

Styger (Ed)- Bitterness Party- holiday that invokes such a feeling in
humans, celebrate bitterness, chocolate, PH A18 A/B, Boys Don't Cry-
makes you want to die

(Enter Meg with Legos)

Matt- started working on Pravda?, not actually, but intended to very
strongly, jealous of Abe's handwriting, didn't move heavy things,
pizza, didn't figure out how to draw catenary in autocad, got
corresponded with, corresponded

Rebecca- bad movie, pancakes, warm, you should be outside, went
outside, while passing Pitt food trucks, a random guy gave her a
Steelers hat, saw an apartment numbered 41 1/2

Emily (Abe)- dimes and nickels, money, give us money, bleeding, throw
some shit at me now you whores, 85.93 sweetheart firework displays,
cooked dinner, didn't kill anyone, everyone said it was good,
vegetarian and Mike didn't complain, chocolate pudding, superbowl
cool, 213, writing worlds

Lizza (drquuxum)- on hike with Brewer, jumping, loves us all, loves
Abe more, quuarters, Sacajawea

Gratuitous obscenity committee- Solaris sucks, something went down

Good Idea/ Bad Idea- anally administering alcohol a bad idea

Booth hard, we're gonna go shopping

No pants- Abe- failure

Some committee dlstern owns- tells no pants committee that last
night's Superbowl party was a resounding success

Committee to kick Teki in the ass

Abe's bleeding less and less

Old business:

2nd VP not here, with Mym, Ed: they're fornicating

Committee to annex Margaret Morrison, no second

$60 booth

$50 food for bitterness party

$50 chocolate for bitterness party

Keith- godawful committee- Committee to commit committees to CVS
including the committee to commit committees to CVS including..., try
to amend to committee to fuck him, fails, passes, $2.50 to rlambert,
who dissolves it immediately

Election for Byzantine brigadeer
Akiva opposed as patriarch of Byzantine church
Ed can't be proctor
Ed is Spartacus
Abe is proctor
Ed still thinks he is proctor
Akiva- awesome, 6
Matt- more awesome, 7
bohanlon, 3
epr, 3
lea, 12
dlstern, 3
Keith, 5
Drquuxum (I can't read my handwriting)
lbrenton, 11
mstephen, 6
Christina, 4
lea wins
Ed declares himself winner

Committee to sell Styger on ebay, no

Move to Avignon, Akiva was there this summer, cool, castle we can take
over, random French stuff, Is Avignon on spacequest?, Abe still
bleeding a little bit

Committee to make Abe make the face that says he's smiling but he's
really in pain, Akiva and Laurel, $4.50

Motion to null- no second

Committee to Wang Chung, fails

Committee Akiva just bought- this meeting's awesome

Motion to fail for lack of a second, second, passes, fails for lack of
a second

Announcements:

Event- bitterness party, bring bitterness, wallow in it

tshirt contest- wet or dry? Submissions due a week from Wednesday

Assassins- bohanlon assassinated bohanlon and won

make mkehrt a Pravda?

Schmucks:

Laurel- something French

Keith- bitter that can't attend bitterness party- metabitter, got math
book for birthday

Drquuxum- (Something I can't read that includes the word pocket)

02.09.05:

Abe- elves, people making elves, Ash Wednesday, forgot to go to mass,
fast, abstinence from meat, Chinese New Year, crazy guy in elevator-
got on in basement with him and didn't get off

Akiva- ginseng candy is really gross

Em is talking to her pants, Abe is dead, Styger nominated as Abe,
we're sharing this room with too many organizations

Styger- bitterness party, THE FUND is quite happy, we have Legos,
could get more, have some already, almost had to sleep in Detroit
yesterday

Matt- walked around with Lizza, Caliban, couldn't find any good books,
need to sign Gesling Kage contract, knocking down Maggie Mo?, meeting
Friday, other organizations aren't as cool as us, they think Matt is
president

Rebecca- six people at office hours yesterday, wrote that before I
said it, exoskeletons, my feet are really gross, Lizza is so happy she
could blow a spit bubble

Em- was going to say bc dlstern here, we have more money, but now
dlstern is here, whispers because there are other people here,
$[censored], we invited Bill Gates to CTFWS, mrwright bit gwillen's
nose, Abe gets bitten a lot, rlambert gives nerve damage when she
bites, shawn needs to give her money

Lizza- walked in Schenley, still kinda wet, shirt stretches, feels
like it's oozing off her, two days ago hiked about 15 miles- old train
rail trail, got lost, Abe walked on trail in Frick and it just
stopped, piranhas

KGB Clue/Spend KGB's money/Craft night/[CENSORED] Top Sekrit/ KGB's
I Can't Get a Date Orgy

Craft night: someone should know how to do something, chain
mail/origami/make things out of wire/knitting, yarn, markers,
construction paper, play doh, legos, copper wire, finger paint

KGB Clue- Styger wants people to help

Chocolate Committee- unsweetened baking chocolate, big pot, cocoa,
melted chocolate and strawberries, Styger has fondue thing, milk and
dark and really really dark candy, chocolate fountain, booze is good
in fondue, I wish cheese could be, never mind, chocolate mousse, exam
and project tomorrow, test Friday, test Monday, Akiva should be a
ballerina, but he's not wasting away, Matt's wasting away

Tshirt committee- Has all the designs, should have numbers for people
Friday, black, black, and more black, 3 people here not wearing a
black shirt

Booth- tool expedition to home Despot, turning it 90 degrees- part
that is narrow wants to be wider, wall sections have mutant different
kinds of facing, want something uniform, people threw quarters and
gold dollars at Abe's face before he said anything, got 50 cents,
pretty kickass, another booth- going to have chickenwire elves, (Lizza
trying to greet ASA in random languages)

Thing we gotta sign, otherwise they take away our Gesling Kage, wants
account number, key in Kage

Strippers count as decorations, we can get decorations with THE FUND,
dlstern can get strippers with tools, donate treasury to save poor
animals, no opposable thumbs, except some cats, adopt 7 seals, adopt
child in foreign country, state would take it away from us, Styger's
friend's cat could hold knives, cats have taken over the world, Abe
can't talk- cdinwood's hand over his mouth

Styger's the only nomination to replace Abe, Ed made Styger's
answering machine message, Styger accept nomination, no speech,
already John Kerry, can be two unelected presidents- one who did
become president and one who didn't

Request report from committee to kick Teki in the butt

Bylaws- going to have another meeting, point of bylaws is meet
recursively, wank, say something, [censored], shawn got in argument
with Ed, monkeys from space killed the bylaws, and then they left

terror, terror, tarot, opal, someone who likes wine, oeno

motion to eat Emily's food and sit here, diff eq took 40 minutes

lea's studio partner didn't know what a pun was

Latex- people use it in all their classes

Wicca, sign language

Matt found book about how computers work, something about encoding
letters that predated ASCII

Lizza hates when spam is in all caps

[[Category: Minutes]]

Minutes20050228-20050321

2013-04-12T18:38:38Z

Johnson6: stale pointer

Body part of the week- buckets of snow

Abe- glorious meeting, rlambert really paranoid; animation project,
like this and like this, lots of fingers bad, two fingers easy, walnut
grill- awesome music

Akiva- AB Hitler week, 2 exams tomorrow, only been to one of the
classes once, class canceled, not canceled, prof half hour late to
review session, KGB not older than most of us

Styger- no event, going to be at concert in Chicago, that can be the
event, but you have to get there yourself, set stage on fire

Matt- watched scifi movies in experimental to learn why not to eat
radioactive stuff, horrible movies with bees and mayonnaise and lots
of sex, pain and death, creepy

Me- also watched horrible movie, fell on ice on Akiva's driveway,
wrote on board because laptop not booted, handwriting crap

Emily: christianbook.com- 4 unknown videos of prophesy, 112, bees,
parent here- brought it, Akiva invited her, Jews have a leap month

Lizza: most beautiful day in existence- only day in existence, camp
song, camouflage, neat hat, camping, look at snowflakes

Committees:

Pop occultism committee wants to pass on ownership- audition at
upcoming event

Misappropriation- pop occultism- ta collecting fortunes for some
unknown project

Good idea/Bad idea- Church Brew Works quadzilla is both

Nomcom- let them know if you're interested in running from office-
email arwong, not important to think about this now, disgusting, where
did that come from? no doormat under window, making janitors' lives
miserable, will talk to a whole bunch of us anyway, meeting after this
meeting, might not have quorum

Booth- write email address if will be around during break, what
determines whether we have a good booth is march- sundays at 14, come
and build things

Cannibalism- dont eat vegetarians first- least likely to eat you back

Old Business: pfennig- cmartens, 211 midterms

New business:

Clairihoo- counter haiku committee- aabb, no meter, amend to people
who think end rhyme constitutes poetry, committee for consonants and
assonants, immaturity committee- assonants, too many rules, $2.50 to
Akiva

Freeverse beatnik committee- best minds of Akiva's generation think
it's a good idea, $8 to dlstern, he's chair

Assassins Committee - meeting no longer safe, Rebecca runs away [Matt
wrote this]

Bylaws amendment for dues. (Intermission for Congaing) Styger is
totally ready. Amendment to not [rlambert back after winnning a duel]
bring it up unless there's a change, general body can overrule
anything exec does, doesn't give new power at exec- just don't bother
with it at annual meeting if not changing, annual meeting takes
forfuckingever, dues good, less things you have to preserve quorum for
also good, (Akiva swings stick with eraser), quorum check, no, no,
yes, passes, motion to darkness, passes

Resolve that lea's mom completely left us a note last night (addressed
to KGB lounge), passes

Announcements-

tshirts- Abe doesn't have designs with him, should email them to
Lizza, shit, real sorry, publicly humiliated, design by lea- girl and
belt and thought bubble, yellow on red by Abe, talked about that for a
long time at exec

Schmucks

Keith- 1000 comrade points for tshirt design- Wean- turtle had smiley
face, will be sad if meeting ends early- doesn't have to leave today

Motion to adjourn!

(enter Jess)

on 15-111 test had to find center of rectangle, prof doesn't know how

How many legislatures would have someone crawl through the window just
to get quorum?

British house of parliament- 1000 comrade points to bohanlon

50 to Akiva, 1000 to Abe for giving them out, cdinwood 5, Julie takes
1000, Article urging students to run for student govt positions, Ivan
is informed he's running

Matt's computer crashed, OS not found

Exec 03.03.05

Abe- not dying of work, game due @ midnight, Xander, cpride 1000 KP,
OsotW

Akiva- classes ended early, research methods he left first, gcats go
to hell, 2 easy exams

Styger- tired, leaving soon, mafia night, Bucca hates her, Manager
won't call her, Xander hates Akiva

Mkehrt- [exit Styger] report about stuff

Rebecca- corsec taking notes, work, channeling through Christina

Em- $[censored], still allocations [enter lea], afternoon washout, no
plane ticket home so not going, little brother has a leash, work. Abe
is evil. Pfriedma. Mkehrt has good minutes says Abe, money about Mac
[enter Lizza]

Lizza- exists, midterm 5 pt extra credit name 5 TAs, Are you kidding?
The only reason I know the name of the proffessor[sic] is his name is
on half the papers we read

Motion to make Lizza exist- passes

Lizza'- cold, thin mints in ice crea, pasta, origama wanking, Em owes
her money (Xander- "all wanking version of minutes" Paper, lab, cheese
party [I hate you Matt! Now emacs is going to keep yelling at me
about the parentheses not matching up right, because this
parenthetical doesn't seem to end]

Committees:

Booth- "Yeah, like, we're definitely gonna build one of those." some
design changes

DrQuuxum +1000 KP, OotW

Math

Booth'- heads, drugs, alcohol

T-shirts- designs, money, we are EXTREME, call Styger, phone magic

booth cont Numbers, how much money? No allocation, just booth shirts,
need more allocation

Aaagh Commitee[sic]- Aaaaaaagh

Judicious Exhumation- Highlander? Kinsey?

Nomcom- met. obligation met. apathy, bgilbert- thunk

New Bidness

Funny and clever- fails for lack of second

World revolves around Em's words- "lack" [is that supposed to say
luck?]

Adjourn

03.14.159:

Body part of the week: pi

Abe: spring break, good, hopes we had good spring breaks, small talk,
NYC, pretty good, US Airways, overbooked, offered free ticket anywhere
in US including Canada, could have gotten bumped off the next one too,
joke's totally on him because they're going out of business, gates
still up in Central Park, orange and orange and orange, tasty food,
bar and grill and bar, dim sum, other stuff, Turkish food, dragged
shopping, didn't actually buy anything because all the pieces of
fabric had commas in the prices, horribly untrendy, trip back got into
Newark, flight canceled, bumped into Boris at the Met, next flight
sold out, one from Philly in a couple hours, cab, detour near some
kinda crap like Princeton, lost, bad directions, old taxi driver rule
not to get women or Hindis, learned that they're going to put an
entertainment complex 15 min south of where he lives in NJ, metalands,
gonna call it Xanadu, Finklestein occupying UC- one of those
controversial speakers making the Jews angry

Akiva: Went home, ate a lot, played vicious games of Scrabble with
family, cutthroat- dad dead now, attitudes and persuasions- attitudes
toward same sex marriages, thing most correlated with attitudes toward
it is thinking carbonated sugar water is called soda

Styger (rlambert): in Chicago with Mym, saw rlambert and pfriedma-
randomly called from Northwestern parking lot, present to throw at Em,
event- Mafia night, dress up because we're mafia and shit, reservation
to 30, RSVP to lbs

Matt: writes Pravda? sometimes, bgilbert, fashion god, got a haircut,
NY- Manhattan, fallout shelter, Ethiopian food- mush on bread, really
good, like Indian except sour, bread instead of rice, playing with
lead plates, radiation, do not lick, making Pravda? this week, submit
Manifesti/Manifestoi

Rebecca: Chicago visiting pfriedma- hid piercings from dad, tied up
him and bf, partially to each other, strings on pants, museums, train
didn't derail in Ohio

Emily: counseling- health services royally fucked up website- pay
someone to fix it 31.15 times, big chocolate penny from Styger, bad
Moroccan money, mostly lived at Sherbrook

Lizza (Ed): orgtracker, all student organizations, Lizza's position on
JFC, ski club's constitution- article II: "Ski & Snowboard Club
promotes the sport of skiing & snowboarding on campus, provides times
and locations for CMU undergraduates, graduates, faculty, and staff
who enjoy skiing to engage in the sport, both recreationally and
competitively, informs Ski & Snowboard Club members of and organizes
trips to local and distant mountains as well as support inexperienced
or novice students of Carnegie Mellon in developing their skills. It
is our fervent belief that skiing, due to its prodigious cost, is
chiefly a past time of the elite. These elites perpetuate the
capitalist super-structures that preserve our low socio-economic
status. To combat the unyielding class homogeneity inherent in ski
culture, we, the proletariat, secure funds and disperse them freely to
help the common, working class Carnegie Mellon students (as well as
their capitalist overlord fellow students) to participate in and to
subvert a principle bastion of neocolonial patriarchy - skiing (and
snowboarding).", She, Ed, Brewer, Jess went to Ohio for backpacking,
fearful cold, zero trips to hospital, but Ohio extended icy cold grip
and yanked pipe down through bottom of Ed's car, shiny new muffler

Committees:

Destroy Ohio- failure

T-shirts- going to submit orders, design by lea, one by Abe, ginormous
allocation, but going to sell them and get money back

booth happened, cool, a lot of small but important things got done,
large but important things got done, bought supplies except the stuff
we don't know we need yet, large truck going to be coming in front of
Maggie Mo ass early in the morning Sunday, cbook full of lies, one
thing absolutely everyone can do- take things and move them from one
place to another, give Ed phone numbers, claim ignorance on cbook and
call everyone anyway just to get new recruits, Ed will sleep through
cell phone and we'll have to beg and plead with Home Despot, every
Sunday will be building and reformatting platforms, platforms can
become walls, painting later

Pop occultism- try a new system or a different approach- email shawn
if want to take over committee, love of gardening will take on new
meeting in Ohio- plant seeds from Libyan terrorists in Ohio

New business (out of order):

bgilbert- move to amend the bylaws of the ski club (order of business
stuff just suggested, doesn't know what the hell the bylaws say about
order, supposed to read minutes, can do it in whatever order unless
someone appeals the decision of the chair), passes

Old Business:

pfennig- cmartens->anaaktge, Ed not answering cell phone

New Business:

bgilbert- allocation = $4.89 for webserver mumblemumble, passes

Lizza- Allocation <= $1800 for 5 shirts- Carnegie Hellon, old booth,
two CTFWS, my actions are not endorsed, selling shirts, we have enough
money to build two booths and buy these shirts, mcrouch second booth
chair, going to be done by next Friday, wanna paint fence at some
point, if they don't sell this year, we can sell more next year,
(enter Lizza; reads random part of a book- neverending story)
allocation correct, will have shirts on time, sell for $10 for
members, $15 for not, large profit

motion to purple 20 times

dlstern- allocation <= $1024 for booth supplies

Move to amend US Constitution, need 2/3, passes

Ed- create Funding and recognitions committee- fund and recognize
organizations per student Senate bylaws, Men's club, students for
grass, if real student senate won't recognize Xander's organization,
this one will, funny gestures at Lizza, $7 to quuxum, paid, booth loves him,
Ricky is chair

Committee for amending shit, no second

Terrorists win committee- terrorists have already won, kind of
outdated pop culture reference, amendments, confuse the recsec, House
UnAmerican Activities Committee, $21 to dlstern, he's chair

Motion to piss away all our money in one meeting, withdrawn- not funny enough

bgilbert- allocation 250 kb for piece of pie, conversion btw Canadian
pennies and kilobytes

Announcements:

Lizza needs tshirt designs

Mafia Night- Italian food, rsvp to styger, esp if have car

Pile of blueprints

booth Sunday ass early

Schmucks:

Greek Sing Saturday

bohanlon flew, saw Spamalot, awesome and glorious

drquuxum and people saw tunnels yesterday- 14 foot pillar of ice, read
latest livejournal post, not someone's wife, not loadbearing

Boy Scouts invading campus, worth 30 points for their heads, A Phi O
ushers at Greek Sing

Spent $2500 in allocations

Allie's family didn't want her for spring break, but coming next
weekend, sister at CTFWS, has message for Abe- "Watch your goddamn
mouth", out of Ed's league, doesn't want to talk to any boys that
don't play travel soccer

Carmen's sister also going to be here- 16- legal in this state

dlstern- long distance company on campus should have something spiky
and filled with tetanus in eye sockets, let him know if you want
housing see a house on Negley and Wilkins Friday

Abe wants a job

Exec 03.16.05:

Abe: (drinks juice midsentence), no stoplights in Nantucket, Roselawn
gets bed of salt every time it snows, people track salt into house,
fine and good except not, stepped on salt, is a slug- it hurts him,
piece of glass, not salt, blood all over, if there are blood stains in
our room, Matt, it's probably mine

Akiva: feels like crap, group presentation, done with bumbling
incompetent group, crap happened probably, Abe says Akiva should put
that in a livejournal entry, wrote a lot of crap for Pravda?, so Matt
should make one, bitch!

Styger: Buca di Beppo, transportation, CTFWS, campus police, room
reservations, Abe can be sure there are posters, lea's managing
fencing- freshman (enter Lizza), What paint to we have? seafoam
green, other stuff, dlstern can make paint run plans exist, bus route
to station square- switching to the T? Bad idea with 30 people-
they'll get eaten by bus monsters, buses took Safewalk training-
travel in groups of three and never stop for strangers, 50-something

Matt: In high school school store called jigger store, Pravda?, work,
likes cake, should get Emily some, probably won't, haven't received
any useful mail, including bank statements, has a feeling there's some
other thing he's supposed to be talking about, emailed Pravda? to Abe
for website

Rebecca: made pie, leftover flour, has to find more stuff to cook, can
make Akiva covered in flour, Saint Andre cheese- really good, can't
stop eating it, but will have to stop when there's none left, Ivan's
insurance company sucks- Ken Lalonde at Geico never is in his office-
only works two hours a day, never answers messages

Emily: laptop being fixed, most of treasury is imaginary right now,
sad and scary, t-shirts better start selling themselves soon, no bank
statement, Abe wants a single- kill mkehrt or live in basement, has no
idea what checks have been cashed- no bank statement, loves bgilbert,
Lizza is an awful human being- hasn't made it to the tshirt place,
will stab herself in the palm with her pencil, hates signed blank
checks without dollar amounts on them, Abe finally sent Lizza the
drawing, has an extra treasury, list of sizes ordered in what shirts,
we like people that don't pay dues, buy lots of shirts, then pay dues,
also like ex-members who hand us large checks

foo: Lizza: no shirts yet, tomorrow afternoon or Friday morning, work,
gonna buy pastries for morning class tomorrow to butter up professor,
blueprints, biscuits are made of butter, whip butter with sugar,
flour, deep fry, garnished with crack, wes has a car, so does quuxum,
Lizza should tell shirt people when we need them, there are people
with baseball bats backing her up, if they can't do that volume,
postpone Carnegie Hellon and booth, tabling

Committees:

tshirt: goto foo (* minutes loop forever now, but it's ok, because I
wrote a comment saying they loop forever *)

Misappropriation: tshirt: dream that they had awful poofy gold stuff on them

Booth- 7 things should be doing, handle on 5 of them- Saturday lumber
truck comes, move wood, 3d portions- bottle- Jose Cuervo over Jack,
photoshop, if he sends it to Abe, he'll have it done sometime before
Carnival, should get new bottles in a week and a half, roofing
materials, game- from the earth to the moon- fire a cannon at the
moon, can it fire steam-powered robots? Mine cheese from it?, steam
and PVC cannon recognition, first year mechies have an assignment due
this week where they launch things- talk to some of them, different
baskets with point values- plastic shit, more cheap platic shit, fake
moustaches, we can run out of them and not tell people about them as
long as we have enough plastic shit, glowsticks are great, plans will
be approved in the next week before we start constructing sections,
will start doing Friday stuff, need to build some and reface others,
refacing is easy, some of the wall sections wanna become floor
sections, buy food, post to bboard saying there will be food, once we
have lumber, the hammer comes down, not spiralling out of control-
kind of meandering, perambulating, whistling a jolly tune, what do you
do with a half-built booth? Give Styger power tools, only dues-paying
members who are activities fee paying students on midway, another
shirt contest in about a week? FDA has gallery of old medicine

Judicious acclamation- mkehrt has to talk to people, remembers what he
has to do

None of this can actually be happening, because the minutes are still
looping, so I can say whatever I want here.

CTFWS rules: no proposed changes, not on Good Friday next year, Mkehrt
likes kangaroos, hold on Saturday? Abe will take care of posters,
~kgb, send posters, needs volunteers to judge, rules meeting, Julie
should invite administrative higher-ups

Old business: no

New business: thing disappeared from office- USB serial converter,
gaming club hates us, someone moved all our stuff, president of gaming
club claims four members have access to the room and closet, and he
trusts all of them, check accesses? Get a lock for the new server?,
put it in the ceiling tiles, throw it out the window, lock it to the
desk and several cinder blocks, cover it in the stuff from poison ivy
that makes you itch, lock it to/in the tshirt box, fan side up, 1981
Zenith- we might not care about protecting it

Announcements:

Schmucks: post office in Germany closed after "bomb threat"-
malfunctioning female blow-up doll

03.21.05:

Abe- no idea what the hell's happened over the last week, some days in
it, exec, event, tiramisu, lots of rum in it, mkehrt ate more, someone
has a laptop with aim sounds

Akiva- booth, we should work on booth, large pieces of wood we can
clang together and make noise, his job is to foster fellowship with
the community in addition to recruiting freshmen, if we work on booth,
that would make him a great fellow, bohanlon's name is something
unpronounceable, new people- Todd, directly battling things, history-
already happened- can't be that hard, if you stew cranberries,
something about rhubarb, Auffie (That's what it sounded like- I'm sure
even if I heard it right, I misspelled it), following jgrafton around,
Chris Jackson, CS, one finger double jointed, Luke, biochem/cheme,
should all be cheme, Jewish holiday- Purim- get drunk and crossdress,
sex

Styger- no event, CTFWS, 7500 at 1900, need judges- volunteer, lots of
people, a lot of fun, pretty fucking nuts, bring all your friends,
tell them to bring us money, fencing- take the fence if you can,
particularly later in the week, but also now, sit on it and call all
your friends, post to bboard, we'll paint it, lots of awful primer,
awful colors- seafoam green, chalk tomorrow night, unless it rains,
read bboard, posters all over campus, shirts- sell them in front of
Doherty Thursday

Matt- wearing red, blue, white- French, almost finished Pravda?, this
week amazing- dancing twice, kung fu twice, booth, went to protest and
watched large crowds of people shout a lot, they didn't end war, but
they decided it was bad, large paper mache puppet, drums, dancing,
flags

Rebecca- booth, Christian pamphlet- YOU WILL DIE, YOU DESERVE TO BURN
IN A PIT OF FIRE

Emily- email, 97 sets of tshirts that were just printed, where a set
is one as every t-shirt, vaguely disappointed in the entire world- no
Tartans, New York Times- top of it is all about dying, Bush decided to
interrupt his vacation to decide whether parents or husbands should be
in charge of deciding what to do for someone in the hospital, didn't
do that over more important issues

Lizza- business meeting- can't come, not abandoning us forever, spring
started, cool, free ice cream, pretty outside, hopefully will get even
warmer

Committees:

Booth- move on is in 2.5 weeks, we've got some shit to do and are
going to do it a lot, booth Friday starting at 13 until 17 or 18 at
Maggie Mo Kage, Sunday 14-18 Maggie Mo Kage, this week maybe also
Wednesday 13-16, platforms to reface/build, fun, need to get a lot of
it done, freshmen have a lot more time than any of the rest of us,
become a pineapple, has to go now, someone should pimp the hell out of
booth during announcements

Pop occultism- donate your time TO BOOOOOTH!

Fanfiction- Gratuitous amounts of Lars

getting t-shirts Wednesday, need another small allocation, don't have
booth design for this year- another contest, running until next
Wednesday's exec, read bboard/livejournal

Ad hoc committee to pimp the hell out of booth- pimps hell out of
booth

jgrafton, celeste, csjackso get 1000 comrade points, someone else
points for $1

Doomsday- move on in 2.5 weeks

Body hair- no one wanted this committee when she was giving away
committees last year, tell her if you want it

Destroy Ohio- don't destroy Ohio by moving booth there- too far west

Timecube- above academic comprehension, mumblemumble

Assassin- new game starting Tuesday-ish

Overly wankerous politics- bill in Senate- refusal to pass without a
roll call vote, needed quorum, called cslounge

Long coat committee (misappropriation) approves of Carmen's coat

Tower of Babel booth shawn's freshman year

Old Business:

pfennig- Ally- CTFWS-related injuries/powerpoint presentation

New business-

Committee to possess and give out the funds of KGB, that's what exec
is for, committee to bring KGB down from the inside approves, mstephen
wants check for $1000, committee of the whole already is that
committee- more committees means more money to give out when we have
the committee to give out the money, need pfriedma off bank account,
wait a week or so, HUAC thinks it smacks of communism, throw money at
each other, COMMIE! ZAP!, roll call vote, passes, $11 to mstephen,
can't suspend rules of order to get allocation

Declare KGB the government in exile of Delaware- Delaware does not
exist, tabled

Motion to create Delaware, passes, untable previous motion- how do we
cross said Delaware- with a boat, motion to table to create stealth
boat, motion to create stealth boat, passes by acclamation, untable,
passes, $8.50 to Akiva, mkehrt, Styger, they're chairs, and Keith and
rlambert

shawn- Allocation <= $_ for paint, _ = $60, passes

mkehrt- Allocation <= $40 for stopwatches for glyphs, passes

bgilbert- allocation <= $40 to fix suckage caused by people stealing
things (Styger stole the Mac Mini), we lost a USB serial adaptor from
office- need to replace adaptor and get a lock, passes

eleather- allocation <= $400 (only actually need 200-300) for
remainder of tshirts, company not the one that originally produced
Carnegie Hellon- will do Carnegie Hellon later, paid half the money,
want the rest of it, so it would be cool if this passed, passes

allocate $10.46 for Gatorade and stuff to stop people from dying
during CTFWS

We don't need to allocate to give shirts to people that designed them,
but we do anyway

Raise taxes in Delaware 35%, passes

committee to obtain pigmy goats- no second

Announcements:

BOOOOTH!

Do booth but don't die before CTFWS

Work on booth

After CTFWS allowed to die during booth

Go to Luke

What everyone else said about booth

Beta rules for CTFWS posted tonight, comment, final rules will be up

No event this week, don't show up to Wean 7500 at 7 pm

Luke says we need an equivalent of I need a Standing Ovation from
playfair, rlambert wants a standing ovation, gets one, rbiggs wants a
standing beat down

The corner gave Abe sticks, Emily heard coroner

gwillen wants RPG, mstephen too

room draw- rlambert wants to give someone a room

bohanlon- 7 computers in room, got Mac Mini

Exec 03.23.05:

Emily excuses bgilbert from booth obligations

Abe: had a week, no pressing work or exams, (random guy enters and
asks if we're Spirit; we offer him Girl Scout cookies), TI89s and
symbolic manipulation are pretty fucking awesome- helped him pass
exam- midsemester grade was R, so that's good, other crap like
t-shirts and a game

Mym: grading midterms- gave them all the values, could have done
horrible integration, someone tried it

Akiva: Abe: How about the real 1VP gives a report? Akiva: Why?

Styger: people that aren't Akiva talk about contacting campus police and
giving Lizza her check, everyone should make real allocations like
Styger- $30, need Abe on the account so we can take him off it again,
bohanlon and dlstern are officer of the week, xander 20 consolation,
1000, 15 days OMGWTF, magic Styger piece of paper, is this still Akiva's report? No- Styger was recognized, but Akiva will take credit

Matt: printing Pravda? tomorrow, corresponded with people giving us
free jigsaw, could KGB be a charity?

Xander's not an officer

Rebecca: got minutes from Matt, going to post them tonight, sleepy,
got Emily and Purple the apartment they wanted, Wes won't change all
instances of "Owner" to "Pwnz0r" in the contract, worked on booth

Emily: We have $[censored], black and red paint, we're ok, have we
talked to anyone about selling shirts outside? Matt asked about
getting a table, they haven't said anything, in theory we get one, if
we don't we can put a table in front of Doherty anyway, spacequest,
tomorrow a better day to sell things- not forecast to be raining,
people can table

Lizza (Akiva): We have t-shirts, might sell them or something, would
offer herbs, spices, kicks to the head, but doesn't have any, cookies
covered in chocolate, Akiva finished designing his experiment, so we
get to be experimented on real soon

Booth: afternoon class canceled- super secret mission- build wall
sections, Saturday getting paint/wood/more wood, got most of what we
needed, Emily wants a monetary idea, dlstern doubts more than
$[censored], Abe wants to see shirts, buy some, Friday 13-18, Sunday
14-18

NomCom chugging along kinda slowly, going to have a slate

OSPAM: orange duct tape

Enter tshirts

Event- most of pieces, going to have cheat sheets and rules, posters?
Abe needs to finish and print, has a class, going to try to have them
printed before class, otherwise around 20, staples, pneumatic staple
gun, shot down in lounge- wand of vengeance race condition

Committee to Declare KGB the Government in Exile of Delaware- 26th-
Jaws in the pool

Committee of the Whole- rules presentation- any thoughts about Ashlee
volunteering? Sure, Alisa says put the tape on the tape, we have
enough judges

We should have an event next week, fails for lack of a second, have a
wake, 15 minutes of 8-9 standard events, we've had a lot of generic
parties, we've had movie nights, lea has terrible movies, masquerade
ball takes a lot of preparation, booth of popsicle sticks, not many
rooms left, we can get chapel- seance, Bible study that has A18C
reserved doesn't usually use it, showed up for Halloween party when
people were piled on the floor, 3 rooms near each other, rooms for 30
people, full of desks, Scaife is full of sadness, 2210 open, KGB
scares away whoever else is in A18, we get 5 rooms, CTFWS, booth,
generic party, board, scavhunt, movie night, geek eat, we still don't
have the first movie from Chuck, linear regression, []/useless stuff
auction, UG tour, Mafia night, KGB travels through time, the Kompleat
KGB [brdgd], n vwls t ll, vrbtn (the spelling changed about 5 times
here)

Alisa is going to need allocation for stuff (~30), can't make
allocation until Monday

Paint in fence? Seafoam green primer, might rain Thurs night, tonight
optional, but definitely rain, build tent over fence, need someone to
get paint, Mym can go to Home Despot, currently red, white, blue, we
should paint it black, Christina compliments of Giant Eagle, need a
good poster for shirt table

Don't step on Alisa

[[Category: Minutes]]

2003 Officers

2010-12-18T05:57:37Z

Johnson6:

[[President|Inquisitor]] -- [[Ed|Ed Ryan]]

[[1st VP|Calificador]] -- [[User:johnson6|Mym Johnson]]

[[2nd VP|Fiscal]] -- [[yjw|Yanna Weisberg]]

[[RecSec|Escriban General]] -- [[nwf|Nathaniel "Wes" Filardo]]

[[CorSec|Nuncio]] -- [[rnathan|Rebecca Nathan]]

[[Treasurer|Notario del Secreto]] -- [[lws|Luke Schwartz]]

[[Sergeant at Arms|Alguacil]] -- [[styger|Lauren "Styger" Stiger]]

(This was the last year during which the ''escriban general'' was officially senior to the ''nuncio'')

{{start box}}
{{succession box|title=[[2003 Officers]]|before=[[2002 Officers]]|after=[[2004 Officers]]}}
{{end box}}

[[category:Officers]]

User:Johnson6

2010-12-18T05:56:56Z

Johnson6:

My name is [[Mym]], I'm working on my [[Ph.D.]] in [[Physics]], and I'm wearing socks.

[[category:Defectors]]
[[category:Physicists]]

Booth 2008 Planning

2008-02-01T04:12:12Z

Johnson6: More signs!

The information contained herein is not necessarily complete or accurate; editing by those who have discussed Booth and remember more details would be much appreciated.

(Floor plans are available at http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~edanaher/kgbbooth-Layout1.png (also as .EPS and .pdf - someone should get uploading working and put them here.)

== Overall Plan ==

The theme is "Everything Good at KGB Science Labs" or some similar "headline". This is the case for the upper floor, which has demonstrations of various Scientific Phenomena, as well as the Game. The lower floor is then where the 1984-style Truth comes in, and everything collapses.

== Walkthrough ==

This is a rough outline of what a visitor to the Booth will see; hopefully it can be fleshed out to provide sufficient detail.

=== Outside ===

There are several windows into the Booth. One has a Jacob's ladder, as well as possibly other shiny things. This window is also visible at the top of the first staircase.

Another window can show off the theremin.

Other windows have other stuff.

The front has a headline, possibly fake text, and advertises KGB Science.

=== Entrance ===

The entrance to the booth is manned by a friendly robo-ceptionist, who gives some friendly greeting and invites visitors to see the wonders of Science.

Once inside, the visitors immediately proceed upstairs to the upper floor along a staircase festooned with posters/flyers giving vague Scientific Warnings (wear goggles, be careful with chemicals, do not feed the experiments...) and/or photographs of Successful Experiments.

=== Upper Floor ===

The upper floor is the Pinnacle of Science: there are various gadgets around.

In the middle wall, something is floating in a jar/vat/tank.

A theremin is on a table near the Game.

Towards the end of the floor, before going downstairs, there is a table with various Scientific Gadgets on it. These include potentially a plamsa ball, some chemical reactions, and a Jacob's Ladder. If we could find some linked gears, we would totally put them here.

=== Inner Stairs ===

After perusing the upper floor, visitors proceed to down a second staircase. This one also has attractive flyers, but they are somewhat disturbing, suggesting that KGB labs is playing with Great Powers that may Destroy Them.

=== Lower Floor ===

Here things have clearly gone wrong. Lighting may be poor, experiments are in disarray, creepy tentacles are pulling scientists into the ceiling.

The roboceptionist is visible again at the bottom of the stairs, but here has mutated into a disturbing robot, or has been destroyed by tentacles, or somesuch.

A scientist manikin (former zombie) is being pulled into the ceiling; other tentacles may be around.

An Electrical Panel is by the stairs, with odd labellings: (1, 2, 3, pizza, 5); a switch labeled Magic/More Magic, another labeled Nun/Hydralisk. A Giant Red Lever. An Awkward Button placed near the floor; a blinking red "Problem" Light higher up.

One alcove (under the stairs) has a Creature bumping against the glass.

The other alcove is walled off with warning tape and has Something To Be Determined behind it (allowing easy access to the adjacent Electrical Panel)

== Projects! ==

=== Big board full of buttons and levers ===

We want a design where just pushing various buttons or switches causes interesting things to happen. Ideas include a big red lever, the "Problem" light (like from Venture bros), a three-way switch and button for sci-fi sound effects, a green button that says "turn yellow button on" and a yellow button that says "turn green button off", and similar.

Glisson is working on this; there is a plan mocked out.

=== Theremin ===

If you have a good schematic, or tips, tell Jared. Otherwise, it's just a standard theremin.

Jared is working on this.

=== Game ===

Evan is working on this. A marble works with switches.

=== Warnings ===

We want warning stickers all over the halls - if you have some good ones, add them here.

*WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS SIGN.
*WARNING: DANGER SIGNS -or- DANGER: WARNING SIGNS
*[http://pics.livejournal.com/redglasses/pic/000014p9/g1 In Case of Emergency, Break Dance]
*[http://pics.livejournal.com/redglasses/pic/00003wg0/g1 Danger: Top Hat Area]
*[http://pics.livejournal.com/redglasses/pic/00002grp/g1 Danger: Do Not Look Into Laser With Remaining Good Eye]

=== Roboceptionist ===

We want one. We want one for our booth. We want it to be low-tech and require neither upkeep nor too much power. We're thinking some sort of designed face with lights, and an mp3 player spewing friendly warnings/dire malfunctions. Nicole and Carolyn are thinking about this; please also think about this.

=== Electronics and Gadgets ===

We want a bunch of failed experiments and other random electronics in the lower area. This will include the plasma ball and the hand-crank generator. We'd also gladly accept all donation of random interesting gadgety junk. Think structural piles of antique computer hardware.

Also, we'd like a few more (or many small) gadgets that do work and are shiny and nice-looking for the upper room display area. Especially at the moment we are thinking something with gears. It is possible to make a difference engine out of legos.

=== Upstairs Table ===

Current plans are to have this divided into two sections: ferrofluid and Archimedes screw/waterworks. The former will be in a sealed tank with magnets nearby on the table, for kids to move the magnets around and see the liquid respond. The idea is a suspension of iron filings in some liquid. The Archimedes screw idea is an open tank with an Archimedes screw in it which kids may turn; ideally this will drop water into some sort of interesting race. As yet this project is ownerless and could use some love.

=== "Martin" ===

Upstairs embedded in the wall we want two small tanks containing floaty creatures, evidently two ages of the same creature. They should be vaguely but not upsettingly tentacular. Downstairs will be a curtain of tentacles for people to push through and some hints that this is the same creature. Also a large tentacle pulling a scientist manikin into the ceiling. Signage to indicate that Martin is "still friendly."

=== Cage/Tank Alcove ===

Something alive and unnatural: either a big monster or many small ones and a fan. Goals: beady eyes, thumping on the glass, etc. Carolyn is working on designing some small creatures and would welcome input.

=== Other Alcove ===

As yet unclaimed; we really need an idea that will take up maybe 3x3x7 feet of space.

=== First Staircase ===

We have a large amount of unclaimed hang space here; Carolyn thinks we should hang a large dodec or mobius strip (a la the MIT engineering library one) here.

=== Making Boooooooooth Structural ===

If you want to work on this, talk to Liz and/or Carolyn.

House of Everything

2007-06-04T06:10:20Z

Johnson6:

'''The House of Everything''' (HoE) was the nickname given to the rental property located at [http://maps.google.com/maps?ie=UTF8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&q=&ll=40.446,-79.928099&spn=0.0017,0.001717&t=k&z=19&om=1 5611 Fair Oaks Street] in Pittsburgh's Squirrel Hill neighborhood by its first known KGB residents. The name comes from the newspaper advertisement for the property which claimed that the apartment was "newly renovated" and "has everything". The HoE was the location for numerous game nights, a few parties (including the once legendary "Spaceport Bar" party), and much nefarious KGB-related planning.

The original residents of the HoE were:

* Andrew "[[User:Zarf|Zarf]]" Plotkin
* [[User:Eeyore|Eeyore]] Evans
* Dan Efran

Following their departure, the apartment was home to several other KGB members.

Scotland Yard

2007-06-04T06:09:41Z

Johnson6:

'''Scotland Yard''' was a student-run cafe sort of place in [[Skibo]], back when there was a [[Skibo]]. The place was noisy, cramped, and not that well lit. But it had several positive points:

* A lot of CMU memorabilia. Notably a life-sized "Wild Thing" from a "Where the Wild Things Are" Carnival booth. ''(Whose booth?)''

* A large booth in the middle. Not a Carnival booth, a restaurant seating booth. It was this bizarre square gazebo thing in the middle of the Yard. You could fit an awful lot of KGB members in there, if they were all skinny undergrads.

* Bread, Fruit, and Cheese. This was by Zog a loaf of bread, with some sliced apples and (I think) port-wine cheese food spread substance. An excellent value in calories for your ruble.

* Nachos. A nachos platter. By "platter", I mean "chips and stuff, microwaved and served on a styrofoam plate". The cheese would melt into the styrofoam and form a toxic crust that you would pick off and eat anyway.

* Root beer floats. After a while these were hard to get hold of, due to some issue with the freezer.

* Slurry drinks. (I have forgotten the original name.) This would be, say, strawberry stuff and ice that had been thrown into the blender and slushified. Occasionally flavored with broken glass.
(Not kidding about the broken glass. I once ordered a strawberry whatsit, and when it arrived it had little bits of broken glass in it. Turned out someone had knocked a glass into the ice bucket, where it broke. He was ''really sure'' he'd picked out all the pieces. Fortunately the blender had reduced it to small glass crumbs, not sharp splinters. --[[Zarf]].)

Sandbox

2007-05-31T23:48:56Z

Johnson6:

{{magic}}
<math>\hat{ass}</math>
{{z||b}}

[[:Image:Testdragon.txt|Test Dragon!]]

[[Image:Wikishield.gif|thumb|none|KGB Shield]]

2003 Officers

2007-05-31T23:43:56Z

Johnson6:

[[President|Inquisitor]] -- [[Ed|Ed Ryan]]

[[1st VP|Calificador]] -- [[User:johnson6|James Johnson]]

[[2nd VP|Fiscal]] -- [[yjw|Yanna Weisberg]]

[[RecSec|Escriban General]] -- [[nwf|Nathaniel "Wes" Filardo]]

[[CorSec|Nuncio]] -- [[rnathan|Rebecca Nathan]]

[[Treasurer|Notario del Secreto]] -- [[lws|Luke Schwartz]]

[[Sergeant at Arms|Alguacil]] -- [[styger|Lauren "Styger" Stiger]]

(This was the last year during which the ''escriban general'' was officially senior to the ''nuncio'')

{{start box}}
{{succession box|title=[[2003 Officers]]|before=[[2002 Officers]]|after=[[2004 Officers]]}}
{{end box}}

[[category:Officers]]

Industry

2007-05-31T17:21:22Z

Johnson6: see also

'''Industry''' produces [[music]]. Instead of going through traditional distribution channels, industry relies on a network of [[goth club|goth clubs]] to deal directly with customers. It came to rise during the early 1960s as a result of surging market transparency in the wake of [[Francoise Mellon|Francoise Mellon's]] discovery of invisible [[paint]] and subsequent nation-wide vandalism spree.

Industry has benefited greatly from advances in technology and a [[prevalent use of groove]].

==See Also==
*[[Oontz]]

Corporate Brothel

2007-05-31T17:16:11Z

Johnson6: links, intel inside

The '''Corporate Brothel''' is a building on [[Forbes Avenue]] that [[CMU]] leases out to various companies. Officially it is called the Collaborative Innovation Center. This location is very convenient as several [[members|KGBers]] have jobs there.

Originally CMU tried to pimp out space in the basement of the [[UC]] (where the post office is now). This made many people very upset. So instead they built the new building next to [[Hamburg Hall]]. The corporate brothel has been so successful that they are planning to build another one on the other side of [[Panther Hollow]].

After the announcement of the initial plans to lease the UC basement to [[Intel]], some enterprising individuals recreated an 'Intel Inside' sticker on a scale appropriate to the building and attached it to the outside. [[KGB]] has no further knowledge of these activities.

[[category:Campus features]]
[[category:Buildings]]

KGB

2007-05-31T17:08:49Z

Johnson6:

'''KGB''' is a social organization at [[CMU|Carnegie Mellon]]. We can't tell you what it stands for. (See [[KGB name]])

[[category:Inside jokes]]

Elections

2007-05-31T17:07:26Z

Johnson6:

Held during the [[annual meeting]], [[KGB]] '''elections''' are the culmination of the long and painful [[KGB politics|KGB political process]], and have an appropriately long and painful [[voting]] procedure. They cluminate in a totally new [[Executive Board]] made out of frequently new [[:category:officers|officers]].

The color of elections is [[purple]].

Snegurochka's Castle

2007-05-30T18:07:01Z

Johnson6: Attack of the CAD

[[Category:Booth]]

[[Snegurochka's Castle]] was KGB's [[2001 Officers|2002]] [[Carnival]] [[Booth]], themed after the Russian fairy tale of Снегурочка, the snow maiden. It took fourth place in the independent category.

==History and Organization==

Embittered over close and not-so-close defeats in recent years, KGB decided to skip Booth in 2001. Four-year turnover and a large infusion of new blood in 2000 meant that by the next year, well over half the organization had never participated in a booth; the decision was finalized when [[CorSec]] [[Sean "Teki" Dobbs]] volunteered to serve as [[Booth Chair]]. Ultimate responsibility for the booth was never quite clear: there was some sort of crazed power-sharing system which purported to split the responsibility between construction (Teki and [[johnson6]]) and visual design ([[kconnors]] and [[mid]] (?), who were roommates at the time), and [[Cclark|Dred Uncle Pennybags]] holding the purse-strings, but the lines of authority were blurry, and communication was poor. As a result, some design decisions were made by last-minute fiat on Midway, and these frequently did not agree with earlier plans; examples include the decision to paint the interior of the booth to resemble castle-stones and the failure to implement an attractive interior for the tower.

==Story==

The character of snegurochka (the snow maiden) appears in several traditional Russian fairy tales; as a folk tale, of course, there is no single traditional telling, but nearly all versions result in her melting somehow. Since we hadn't chosen a canonical version of the story yet, and since it was clear that this would be of moderate importance to the booth, [[rjmccall]] decided to write one. The result was a bit long, and the judges evidently didn't believe that we told the story to whoever came by, but we really did make an effort to do so; Nat Manista was the prince of this. The story can be read [http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~rjmccall/snegurochka.html here].

==Structure and Design==
[[Image:Snegurochka_Plans.gif|thumb|One of the many CAD views created while planning the Castle]]

The booth was meant to resemble a castle enclosed in a snow-globe. Structurally, it featured a 15-foot circular tower (diameter ~6ft, height ~15ft, conical ceiling) in the rear-left corner. A straight line of steps led up through an enclosed hallway to the tower from the "street", and uncovered steps then led down along the rear and right walls into the courtyard. The right wall of the booth gently curved over to become the front wall of the booth, and the exit door was set in the center of the curve. The courtyard was paved with a layer of white gravel directly upon the asphalt; a "dome" of copper piping supporting a thin cloth mesh rose up from the courtyard walls and enclosed the entire space (except the tower). The structural components of the booth were "adapted" from the previous year's Fringe (?) booth, though of course they were built from scratch. I believe KGB no longer has any of the curved wall sections, although some of the flat wall sections remain in the cage and still see use in booths; these can be distinguished by the various Russian names (predominantly feminine) written inside them as identification, as well as by their thin paneling, which is considerably lighter than the plywood used for most wall sections. Sections of stairs from the Castle also remain and have been extensively reused.

The entire exterior of the booth was painted to resemble a castle; this was done by giving the walls a simple base coat, then sponge-painting rocks and mortar onto the surface in several shades of grey. The technique (which actually used scraps of paper towel rather than sponges) was proposed by [[lmarsh]]; it was carried out mostly by [[rjmccall]] with various assistants. The effect was reasonably nice for the exterior of the castle, if somewhat muted and labor-intensive; however, the decision to paint the interior of the courtyard in the same style was probably a mistake, carried out mostly because time was running short and no-one on Midway knew how to paint anything better. Additionally, the entire exterior of the booth was painted, even the wall which faced another booth (KGB's plot was at the end of a single row, so painting the other walls was conceivably justified). The interior of the entrance hallway was lined with a dark fabric and was (as I recall) somewhat claustrophobic. The interior of the tower was painted in several coats of primer, but never (I believe) given a real coat of paint, and the ceiling and stairs were not completely painted before [[Midway]] opened; the intent was that there would be extensive decorations here, but they were not completed in time. All of this I bring up, not to lay individual fault anywhere, but to drive home the importance of planning and communication.

The roof was covered in tar paper, which was obnoxious to lay, obnoxious to keep in place, and extremely attractive (for a roof). Take this as you will.

The design document submitted to Carnival Committee for Snegurochka's Castle contained the second-most number of CAD drawings out of all the booths that year – with the most being for a blitz booth.

==Game==

The game was a 5x5 grid of square blocks; blocks in the second and fourth rows and columns could slide freely, and at any given time there were several (one?) free blocks not on the board. Blocks were marked with paths connecting two or three of the edges, and the goal was to create a clear path from one corner of the grid to the opposite corner. Players had either two or three moves (for adults and children, respectively), each of which consisted of pushing a free block in any orientation along one of the sliding rows, which would then cause a block to fall off the other end, producing a new free block. This game was adapted from a toy puzzle game whose name escapes me.

==Worksong==

A traditional worksong, penned by an anonymous laborer on Snegurochka's Castle, has come down to us in part; some of the lyrics have been irrevocably lost, at least until they're found again. The song begins thus:

Now I've got scalene triangles on my shoulders,
And my friend is carrying a trapezoid.

File:Snegurochka Plans.gif

2007-05-30T17:54:53Z

Johnson6: CAD plans for Snegurochka's Castle, Isometric view

CAD plans for Snegurochka's Castle, Isometric view

Ze Goggles

2007-05-30T17:39:30Z

Johnson6:

My eyes! '''Ze Goggles''' do nothing!

==See Also==
* [[Oontz]]

[[Category:Stuff]]

Goggles

2007-05-30T17:38:27Z

Johnson6:

#REDIRECT [[Ze Goggles]]

The Goggles

2007-05-30T17:37:55Z

Johnson6: redirects do nothing

#REDIRECT [[Ze Goggles]]

Ze Goggles

2007-05-30T17:37:22Z

Johnson6: Zey do nothing.

My eyes! '''Ze Goggles''' do nothing!

Sushi Too

2007-05-30T17:34:18Z

Johnson6:

'''Sushi Too''' is a Japanese restaurant that serves sushi too. Actually [[sushi]] is the main thing they serve, and Sushi Too is the usual place for [[subliminal geek fishing]].

==External Links==
*[http://www.sushi123.net/too/toomain.php Sushi Too website]

[[Category: Food]]

Pacific Ring

2007-05-30T17:33:24Z

Johnson6:

'''Pacific Ring''' is a restaurant on Murray Ave in [[Squill]] where KGB often goes for [[Geek Eat]]. It replaced the defunct Sichuan House in late 2005. They have Chinese food and [[sushi]]. The menu is available on their [http://www.pacificringpittsburgh.com/ web site].
[[Category:Food]]

Snegurochka's Castle

2007-05-29T23:34:28Z

Johnson6:

[[Category:Booth]]

[[Snegurochka's Castle]] was KGB's [[2001 Officers|2002]] [[Carnival]] [[Booth]], themed after the Russian fairy tale of Снегурочка, the snow maiden. It took fourth place in the independent category.

==History and Organization==

Embittered over close and not-so-close defeats in recent years, KGB decided to skip Booth in 2001. Four-year turnover and a large infusion of new blood in 2000 meant that by the next year, well over half the organization had never participated in a booth; the decision was finalized when [[CorSec]] [[Sean "Teki" Dobbs]] volunteered to serve as [[Booth Chair]]. Ultimate responsibility for the booth was never quite clear: there was some sort of crazed power-sharing system which purported to split the responsibility between construction (Teki and [[johnson6]]) and visual design ([[kconnors]] and [[mid]] (?), who were roommates at the time), and [[Cclark|Dred Uncle Pennybags]] holding the purse-strings, but the lines of authority were blurry, and communication was poor. As a result, some design decisions were made by last-minute fiat on Midway, and these frequently did not agree with earlier plans; examples include the decision to paint the interior of the booth to resemble castle-stones and the failure to implement an attractive interior for the tower.

==Story==

The character of snegurochka (the snow maiden) appears in several traditional Russian fairy tales; as a folk tale, of course, there is no single traditional telling, but nearly all versions result in her melting somehow. Since we hadn't chosen a canonical version of the story yet, and since it was clear that this would be of moderate importance to the booth, [[rjmccall]] decided to write one. The result was a bit long, and the judges evidently didn't believe that we told the story to whoever came by, but we really did make an effort to do so; Nat Manista was the prince of this. The story can be read [http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~rjmccall/snegurochka.html here].

==Structure and Design==

The booth was meant to resemble a castle enclosed in a snow-globe. Structurally, it featured a 15-foot circular tower (diameter ~6ft, height ~15ft, conical ceiling) in the rear-left corner. A straight line of steps led up through an enclosed hallway to the tower from the "street", and uncovered steps then led down along the rear and right walls into the courtyard. The right wall of the booth gently curved over to become the front wall of the booth, and the exit door was set in the center of the curve. The courtyard was paved with a layer of white gravel directly upon the asphalt; a "dome" of copper piping supporting a thin cloth mesh rose up from the courtyard walls and enclosed the entire space (except the tower). The structural components of the booth were "adapted" from the previous year's Fringe (?) booth, though of course they were built from scratch. I believe KGB no longer has any of the curved wall sections, although some of the flat wall sections remain in the cage and still see use in booths; these can be distinguished by the various Russian names (predominantly feminine) written inside them as identification, as well as by their thin paneling, which is considerably lighter than the plywood used for most wall sections. Sections of stairs from the Castle also remain and have been extensively reused.

The entire exterior of the booth was painted to resemble a castle; this was done by giving the walls a simple base coat, then sponge-painting rocks and mortar onto the surface in several shades of grey. The technique (which actually used scraps of paper towel rather than sponges) was proposed by [[lmarsh]]; it was carried out mostly by [[rjmccall]] with various assistants. The effect was reasonably nice for the exterior of the castle, if somewhat muted and labor-intensive; however, the decision to paint the interior of the courtyard in the same style was probably a mistake, carried out mostly because time was running short and no-one on Midway knew how to paint anything better. Additionally, the entire exterior of the booth was painted, even the wall which faced another booth (KGB's plot was at the end of a single row, so painting the other walls was conceivably justified). The interior of the entrance hallway was lined with a dark fabric and was (as I recall) somewhat claustrophobic. The interior of the tower was painted in several coats of primer, but never (I believe) given a real coat of paint, and the ceiling and stairs were not completely painted before [[Midway]] opened; the intent was that there would be extensive decorations here, but they were not completed in time. All of this I bring up, not to lay individual fault anywhere, but to drive home the importance of planning and communication.

The roof was covered in tar paper, which was obnoxious to lay, obnoxious to keep in place, and extremely attractive (for a roof). Take this as you will.

==Game==

The game was a 5x5 grid of square blocks; blocks in the second and fourth rows and columns could slide freely, and at any given time there were several (one?) free blocks not on the board. Blocks were marked with paths connecting two or three of the edges, and the goal was to create a clear path from one corner of the grid to the opposite corner. Players had either two or three moves (for adults and children, respectively), each of which consisted of pushing a free block in any orientation along one of the sliding rows, which would then cause a block to fall off the other end, producing a new free block. This game was adapted from a toy puzzle game whose name escapes me.

==Worksong==

A traditional worksong, penned by an anonymous laborer on Snegurochka's Castle, has come down to us in part; some of the lyrics have been irrevocably lost, at least until they're found again. The song begins thus:

Now I've got scalene triangles on my shoulders,
And my friend is carrying a trapezoid.

Talk:Snegurochka's Castle

2007-05-29T23:23:50Z

Johnson6:

I could expound in detail upon the construction, but I probably shouldn't. --[[User:Johnson6|Johnson6]] 19:23, 29 May 2007 (EDT)

Pope

2007-05-29T23:05:16Z

Johnson6: Nahnanahnanahnanahna POPE CARD

[[Image:Popecard.gif|frame|A Pope Card. Print and distribute!]]

Every man, woman and child on this Earth is a genuine and authorized '''Pope'''.

The rights of a =POPE= include but are not necessarily limited to:

# To invoke infallibility at any time, including retroactively.
# To completely rework the Erisian church.
# To baptise, bury, and marry (with the permission of the deceased in the latter two cases).
# To ex-communicate, de-ex-communicate, re-ex-communicate, and de-re-ex-communicate (no backsies!) both his-/her-/it-/them-/your-/our-/His-/Her-/It-/Them-/Your-/Our-self/selves and others (if any).
# To perform all rites and functions deemed inappropriate for a Pope of Discordia."

A pope is someone who is not under the authority of the authorities.

Get out of class free

2007-05-29T23:03:21Z

Johnson6:

#REDIRECT [[Get Out of Class Free Card]]

File:Popecard.gif

2007-05-29T23:01:36Z

Johnson6: Pope Card - Genuine and authorized

Pope Card - Genuine and authorized

Pope

2007-05-29T22:59:19Z

Johnson6: This isn't in yet? Wow.

Every man, woman and child on this Earth is a genuine and authorized '''Pope'''.

The rights of a =POPE= include but are not necessarily limited to:

# To invoke infallibility at any time, including retroactively.
# To completely rework the Erisian church.
# To baptise, bury, and marry (with the permission of the deceased in the latter two cases).
# To ex-communicate, de-ex-communicate, re-ex-communicate, and de-re-ex-communicate (no backsies!) both his-/her-/it-/them-/your-/our-/His-/Her-/It-/Them-/Your-/Our-self/selves and others (if any).
# To perform all rites and functions deemed inappropriate for a Pope of Discordia."

Family-style

2007-05-29T22:54:11Z

Johnson6:

'''Family-style''' food is where you order several dishes to share amongst the table and argue over who thinks they don't owe as much money because they "didn't order that" or "didn't eat that much food".

Family-style dining is commonly found during [[Geek Eat]] and [[Mafia Night]].

Mafia Night

2007-05-29T22:51:43Z

Johnson6: wikiwikiwikiwiki

'''Mafia Night''' is an [[:category:events|event]] where [[KGB]] goes to Buca di Beppo for [[Family-style|family-style]] italian food.

In Spring of 2007, we ate in the [[Pope Room]], a circular room with weird acoustics and a sculpture of the [[Pope|Pope's]] head in a plexiglass case on a lazy susan in the center of the table.

Unfortunately, the attendance is often too high to get the Pope Room.

[[Category:events]]

Talk:Half Price Food

2007-05-29T22:49:05Z

Johnson6:

Times are to my recolection, and maybe they've changed since I actually lived there. I don't know the time for India Garden, and I think there may be some other places that also offer half-price. --[[User:Johnson6|Johnson6]] 18:49, 29 May 2007 (EDT)

Half Price Food

2007-05-29T22:47:04Z

Johnson6: Times!

"Half price" consists of any of a number of restaurants in [[Oakland]] that serve certain portions of their menu at half price after normal dinner hours, attracting many [[CMU]] and [[University of Pittsburgh]] students. It is a tradition for KGB members and frequenters of the [[cluster]] to go to half price en mass.

Half price restaurants:
* Fuel and Fuddle
** Half price after 2300
* Joe Mamma's
** Half price after 2300
* Mad Mex
** Half price after 2300
** 22oz Margaritas are $6 between 2100 and 2300
* La Fiesta
** Half price after 2200
* India Garden

[[Category:Food]]

THE FUND

2007-05-29T22:36:17Z

Johnson6: THE FUND

'''THE FUND''' is the [[Executive Board]]'s discretionary fund. It is to be used when [[Exec]] does not have time to make a proper [[allocation]], so that people don't end up, as the common vernacular of the day puts it, "screwed in a pecuniary fashion."

THE FUND is replenished periodically by a [[motion]] of the general body. [[Exec]] is obliged to report any use of THE FUND to the general body.

Hot

2007-04-28T23:44:48Z

Johnson6: right, that needs to actually be a link

#REDIRECT [[h0tt]]

Hot

2007-04-28T23:44:01Z

Johnson6: yes, you did

#REDIRECT h0tt

Talk:Prosthetic fence

2007-04-26T20:23:11Z

Johnson6:

The Prosthetic Fence had an 'interesting' name, which I doubt that anyone could properly recall, but which is recorded in [[MID]]'s minutes, in the office, very far from here. Nudge, nudge. --[[User:Johnson6|Johnson6]] 16:23, 26 April 2007 (EDT)

The Fence

2007-04-26T20:21:23Z

Johnson6: I don't think there was a specific committee for that

[[Image:astroturf_fence.jpg|thumb|"[[Operation: Turf]] reports success"]]

'''The Fence''' is the major focal point of [[The Cut]], and is covered in the seventy-five billion layers of [[paint]] used by [[organizations]] to promote their [[events]].

In theory, access to The Fence is governed by several rules
*At least two people must be on the gravel to hold The Fence
*The Fence must not be painted before midnight
*The Fence must be re-painted every night
*No rollers or spray paint may be used to paint The Fence

In practice, [[KGB]]'s complete inability to get The Fence when they need it has lead to more creative solutions, such as the creation of a [[prosthetic fence]].

When KGB does manage to get hold of The Fence, it often ends up covered in non-paint materials such as [[aluminum foil]] or [[Operation: Turf|astroturf]].

[[Category:Campus features]]

Main Page

2007-04-26T00:50:26Z

Johnson6:

<big>'''Welcome to the KGB wiki. We are awesome.'''</big>

This is the main page. From here, you can teleport via magic internets to:

* [[What We Do]]
* [[Members]]
* [[History]]
* [[Information]]
* [[:category:Inside jokes|Inside Jokes]]

==Of "Current" Interest==
* [[2007 Officers|New officers for 2007-08]]

==Meta==

* [[I wanna edit this wiki]]

===Meta Meta===

* [[I wanna edit this "I wanna edit this wiki"]]

Load bearing

2007-04-19T05:33:17Z

Johnson6:

A '''load bearing''' [[member]] of a structure is one that carries significant weight apart from its own. Removing a load bearing member results in structural instability. This is seen in the end of certain types of movies, where the removal of the primary antagonist causes the [[collapse]] of her lair.

Booth

2007-04-19T05:29:34Z

Johnson6:

'''Booth''' is the process of constructing a wooden scaffolding for holding [[spackle]] and [[caulk]]. Organizations can Win Booth by having the most uniformly-spackled wooden structures on [[Midway]].

It is very important to ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING when spackling a booth. If you simply give a bucket of spackle to [[Creidieki]], and tell him "figure out what to do with this", you will not Win Booth. Particularly if he then enlists all of the freshmen.

Anyway, after you spackle something, you wait for it to dry, and then you sand over it, and then you paint it. Casual afterthought is then used to construct a [[roof]] and cover it in tar paper. Roof construction is oft-considered the best time of year to identify which KGB members are [[load bearing]].

All of this might be fun, if it didn't cost more than KGB has spent on anything else, ever.

[[Category:Events]]

Voting

2007-04-19T05:26:29Z

Johnson6:

[[KGB]]'s [[Voting]] rules represent a subtle and sublime [[science]]. The method of voting varies depending on context.

===Voting on motions===

Voting on [[motions]] is conducted by whomever is the [[Chair]] of the meeting. The generally approved method of voting is to request that [[members]] vote by undertaking some action or vocalization related to the subject matter of the motion.

There are certain problems with this method of voting. In particular, it can often be difficult to determine which side won when everyone in the room is flailing around. In that case, a request for a hand vote would be appropriate.

If the [[Chair]] is in a hurry, it is also possible to undertake a vote by acclamation, whereby the motion passes unless someone objects.

Finally, it is technically possible to do a roll call vote, though it is the [[Chair]]'s prerogative to declare a request for such a vote [[dilatory]].

Voting on a motion is guaranteed to [[terminate]] as the Chair isn't going to put up with it for long.

===Voting in elections===

The voting methodology used in [[elections]] is significantly more complex than that used for [[motions]].

First, the color of elections is [[purple]].

Second, voting is conducted by secret ballot.

Third, the voting is administered by electron proctors.

Each [[:category:officers|officer]] position is elected separately. In each round of voting, the votes are tallied and then divided into "tiers" of candidates with the same number of votes. The tiers of candidates with the least number of votes are removed from the running until at least one third of the votes have been removed. At least one tier must always be removed. If there remains more than one candidate another round of the election is run. Vote, count, repeat.

An example is in order. Consider an election for [[President]] where the candidates are Abe, Barry, Chuck, Dave, and Ed. In the first round of voting, the breakdown is as follows:

{| cellpadding="5" border="1"
|-
| A
| 8
|-
| B
| 7
|-
| C
| 7
|-
| D
| 6
|-
| E
| 5
|-
|}

In the first round of voting, Ed is removed from the running first, being in the tier with the lowest number of votes. This is five of the total thirty-three, and is less than a third. Dave's tier is removed then, bringing the total removed votes to 11, which reaches the one third threshold. This leaves Abe, Barry, and Chuck for the next round.

{| cellpadding="5" border="1"
|-
| A
| 13
|-
| B
| 10
|-
| C
| 10
|-
|}

Here we have both Barry and Chuck in a single tier. Their total number of votes is greater than one third, but because at least one tier must always be removed, they are both removed from running, and Abe wins.

Finally, in the case of an n-way tie, where n is the number of candidates remaining, an additional round will be run. If the next round results in a tie, the winner will be determined by random process.

Voting in an election is guaranteed to terminate as at least one candidate is removed every round, except in the case that all candidates tie, where voting is decided by [[divine providence]]. This [[Byzantine]] voting procedure was devised after the previous Byzantine voting procedure was determined through experiment to be interminable.

Wasn't that fun!

Talk:Nominations2007

2007-04-19T05:12:15Z

Johnson6:

What do you get when you cross an aleffert with a dlstern? --[[User:Johnson6|Johnson6]] 01:12, 19 April 2007 (EDT)

The Fence

2007-02-21T16:55:08Z

Johnson6:

'''The Fence''' is the major focal point of [[The Cut]], and is covered in the seventy-five billion layers of [[paint]] used by [[organizations]] to promote their [[events]].

In theory, access to The Fence is governed by several rules
*At least two people must be on the gravel to hold The Fence
*The Fence must not be painted before midnight
*The Fence must be re-painted every night
*No rollers or spray paint may be used to paint The Fence

In practice, [[KGB]]'s complete inability to get The Fence when they need it has lead to more creative solutions, such as the creation of a [[prosthetic fence]].

When KGB does manage to get hold of The Fence, it often ends up covered in non-paint materials such as [[aluminum foil]] or [[Operation: Turf|astroturf]].

[[Category:Campus features]]

Executive Board

2007-02-21T16:48:05Z

Johnson6: boldification

The '''Executive Board''' of [[KGB]] (Exec) is comprised of its seven [[Current officers|officers]]. The executive board does all of the Boring Stuff, such as event planning and coordination, record keeping, and other administrative tasks.

Exec holds weekly [[meetings]] which are generally open to the membership, though they may be closed at the discretion of the Board (typically for sensitive matters such as the selection of [[NomCom]]).

Current events

2007-02-02T20:08:43Z

Johnson6:

{{needs|updated}}

Friday, 11/30 6:30pm EST, Kirr Commons -- [[KGB Falls on its Ass]]

Friday, 11/17 7:00pm EST, DH 2315 -- Philip K Dick [[Movie Night]]

Friday, 11/10 7:00pm EST, WEH7500 -- [[Capture the Flag with Stuff]]!!

Why aren't you buying more tangerines?

2007-02-01T19:06:33Z

Johnson6:

#REDIRECT [[Buy more tangerines]]

Buy more tangerines

2007-02-01T19:05:39Z

Johnson6: no Wikipedia-style footnotes :(

Originally featured as the last line of an early rambling promotional [[KGB]] flier, "Why aren't you buying more tangerines?" has become an organizational catchphrase.

==The flier text==

Boogie until you puke, no wait, come to KGB Mondays at 4:30 PM in [[Breed Hall]] (Margaret Morrison 103). [footnote: nowadays Breed Hall is Margaret Morrison A14.] We love you. You'll love us. Give us money. You can be a [[General body members|member]] of the most gratuitously silly campus organization in existence. KGB is like Orange Juice. It's like everything you've ever known that's good for you. So, run and tell your mother that you'll be busy on Monday evening because you're going to join the KGB. No, we don't hate Boris Yeltsin, honest, really. Bring as many friends as you have. Bring as much food as you have. Bring as much money as you have. Bring all of your clothing and as much canned yams as you can buy on short notice. No shoes, no shirt, no service. The other day, Mike Murphy said to me, "Hey, you know I might join the KGB." I didn't believe him, and you probably shouldn't believe me. Rampant consumerism is destroying the American work ethic, but you can still join the KGB. Polyester leisure suits are still out of style, but everyone cool is still a member of KGB. KGB, KGB, KGB. Why aren't you out buying more TANGERINES?!!?!?!??!

[[category:Inside jokes]]
[[category:Slogans]]

Buy more tangerines

2007-02-01T19:03:10Z

Johnson6:

Originally featured as the last line of an early rambling promotional [[KGB]] flier, "Why aren't you buying more tangerines?" has become an organizational catchphrase.

==The flier text==

Boogie until you puke, no wait, come to KGB Mondays at 4:30 PM in [[Breed Hall]] (Margaret Morrison 103). [footnote: nowadays it's every Monday at 4:30 PM in Margaret Morrison A14.] We love you. You'll love us. Give us money. You can be a [[General body members|member]] of the most gratuitously silly campus organization in existence. KGB is like Orange Juice. It's like everything you've ever known that's good for you. So, run and tell your mother that you'll be busy on Monday evening because you're going to join the KGB. No, we don't hate Boris Yeltsin, honest, really. Bring as many friends as you have. Bring as much food as you have. Bring as much money as you have. Bring all of your clothing and as much canned yams as you can buy on short notice. No shoes, no shirt, no service. The other day, Mike Murphy said to me, "Hey, you know I might join the KGB." I didn't believe him, and you probably shouldn't believe me. Rampant consumerism is destroying the American work ethic, but you can still join the KGB. Polyester leisure suits are still out of style, but everyone cool is still a member of KGB. KGB, KGB, KGB. Why aren't you out buying more TANGERINES?!!?!?!??!

[[category:Inside jokes]]
[[category:Slogans]]

Breed Hall

2007-02-01T19:00:57Z

Johnson6: Wiki capitalisation is dumb

'''Breed Hall''' is where [[KGB]] holds its weekly general body [[meetings]]. Although in the past Breed Hall was [[Margaret Morrison]] 103, it is currently located at MM A14.

[[Category:Campus features]]

Breed Hall

2007-02-01T19:00:30Z

Johnson6: