KGB Wiki - User contributions [en]

User:Jokeserver

2011-06-17T01:45:58Z

Jokeserver:

Jokeserver! 
 
If there's something dull 
In your neighborhood 
Who ya gonna call? 
Jokeserver! 
 
If you need a pun 
And yours don't look good 
Who ya gonna call? 
Jokeserver! 
 
I ain't afraid of no jokes 
I ain't afraid of no jokes 
 
If you're hearing jokes 
Running through your head 
Who can ya call? 
Jokeserver! 
 
A comedian 
twisting what you said 
Who ya gonna call? 
Jokeserver! 
 
I ain't afraid of no jokes 
I ain't afraid of no jokes 
 
Who ya gonna call? 
Jokeserver! 
 
If ya on the run 
from someone else's pun 
Then call 
Jokeserver! 
 
I ain't afraid of no jokes 
I hear he likes the girls 
I ain't afraid of no jokes 
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah 
 
Who ya gonna call? 
Jokeserver! 
 
If you've had enough of those 
Normal jokes, baby 
Ya better call 
Jokeserver! 
 
Lemme tell ya something 
Punnin' makes me feel good! 
 
I ain't afraid of no jokes 
I ain't afraid of no jokes 
 
Don't get caught alone no no 
 
Jokeserver! 
 
When he tells you a tale 
Almost without fail 
You know he's gonna pun... 
Jokeserver! 
 
Who ya gonna call? 
Jokeserver! 
 
Who ya gonna call? 
Jokeserver! 
 
I think you better call 
Jokeserver! 
 
Who ya gonna call? 
Jokeserver! 
 
I can't hear you 
Who ya gonna call? 
Jokeserver! 
 
Louder 
Jokeserver! 
 
Who ya gonna call? 
Jokeserver! 
 
Who can ya call? 
Jokeserver! 
 
Who ya gonna call? 
Jokeserver! 
 

[[Category:Members]]
[[Category:Defectors|Jokeserver]]

User:Jokeserver

2011-06-17T01:43:15Z

Jokeserver:

User:Jokeserver

2011-06-17T01:42:40Z

Jokeserver:

User:Jokeserver

2011-04-30T07:23:34Z

Jokeserver: Who ya gonna call? Jokeserver!

251 Torture Committee

2011-04-30T06:50:59Z

Jokeserver:

251 is this super easy class that all the CS freshmen get to take. The committee is ironically named because of how easy everyone finds the class and how little work all the students put in and how 251 TAs are never affiliated with the KGB.

TROLOLOL BUTTS

[[Category:Committees]]

Committee To Propagate Random Art on Campus

2011-04-26T03:44:20Z

Jokeserver: Redirecting to Committee To Propagate Random Art On Campus

#REDIRECT [[Committee To Propagate Random Art On Campus]]

Sunglasses Committee

2011-04-26T03:41:34Z

Jokeserver: New page: YEEAAAAHH Category:Committees

YEEAAAAHH

[[Category:Committees]]

Committee To Tell Computers And Humans Apart

2011-04-26T03:24:18Z

Jokeserver: Committee To Tell Humans And Computers Apart moved to Committee To Tell Computers And Humans Apart: correct ordering in title

Purpose: self-evident

Tough but some{body,thing} has to do it.

[[Category:Committees]]

Committee To Tell Humans And Computers Apart

2011-04-26T03:24:18Z

Jokeserver: Committee To Tell Humans And Computers Apart moved to Committee To Tell Computers And Humans Apart: correct ordering in title

#REDIRECT [[Committee To Tell Computers And Humans Apart]]

Joint Committee To Make Carolyn And Labbott Into Dominatrices

2011-04-26T03:22:36Z

Jokeserver: cswayer

[[csawyer]] and [[labbott]] just need to be dominatrices!

[[Category:Committees]]

Committee To Groan At Ben Wolf's Jokes

2011-04-26T03:21:12Z

Jokeserver:

[[bswolf]]: <insert pun here>

Everyone: Ughhhh...

(Note that bswolf owns this committee.)

[[Category:Committees]]

KGB's Sing-along Blog

2011-03-19T19:29:46Z

Jokeserver: /* "My KGB" by jvirdo, to the tune of "My Eyes" */ newline

This was a collaborative effort on the [[bboard]] during the week before [[KGB Digs Its Own Grave]] 2009.

[[KGB's Sing-along Blog Planning]]

="My KGB" by jvirdo, to the tune of "My Eyes" =

'''Mander:''' 
Any comrade with a brain 
Can see the KGB has gone insane 
On the other hand, I'd say 
That they have always been this way 
You can squid if you don't care to abstain 

Listen close to all of your exec 
And get more tangerines 
Even clusterfolk come make the trek 
To MM A14 
 
You'll find out this year's booth theme 
Groan and laugh at the puns and memes 
Anyone who yells 
"I have a job!" is held 
In high esteem 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
Let's be clear 
Despite how geeky we appear 
We're not all CS majors here 
Well, some of us are engineers 
 
Do you believe that roofs and steam tunnels exist? 
Not at CMU 
No way to get there, we insist 
We haven't got a clue 
 
In time, you'll see you forgot 
The committees that you have bought 
And it's plain to see, you'll love the KGB 
Like it or not 
 
[duet by jokeserver] 
'''Mander:''' 
I've got way too much to do 
Interp, Calculus, and Concepts, too 
My homework is everywhere 
And I'm doing my best to care 
But I would much rather hang around with you 
 
Can't miss out on any one event 
Don't want to miss the fun 
But I'm worried about my grade percent 
Dropping down to 1. 
 
I cannot believe the time 
Did I really just waste my night? 
But it's plain to see 
Why I'm in KGB; they're friends for life 

'''Eforney:''' 
Friday's here 
Events are great to spend with peers 
But I'm right at the point of tears 
To think that I'll be gone next year 
You should make sure 
 
To come to all of our events 
You'll have lots of fun 
It won't cost you one more cent 
To hang out until 1. 

I cannot believe the time 
Did I really just laugh all night? 
Cause it's plain to see 
People in KGB are friends for life 
 

="Glisson's Chorus" by jokeserver, to the tune of "Bad Horse Chorus" =
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Glisson, Glisson, 
Glisson, Glisson, 
He listens to your motions, the president Glisson, 
He heard the new idea that you just motioned, 
It first needs some discussion, so let the fun begin, 
A heinous pun, some shout 'til hoarse, 
(A reference to this show, of course) 
 
A vote, a vote, 
a vote, a vote! 
The question has been called and now it's time to vote, 
And once you win the auction then we might let you gloat, 
But first if you're in favor, then say you're on a boat, 
If opposed keep on your clothes 
Or porno squid! 
(abstains, those). 
 
="Caring Change" by jokeserver to the tune of "Caring Hands" =
 
'''Labbott?:''' 
Will you lend some caring change 
And toss me sev'ral pennies 
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too 
Just unwrap all your rolls, please 
 
Clear the decks! 
 
="A Man's Gotta Buy" by zsparks, to the tune of "A Man's Gotta Do" =
 
'''zsparks:'''
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime 
Shouts and hollers 
Zombie dollars 
Into labbott's hands 
Soon I'll control everything 
Committees small and grand 
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid 
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid 
Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see? 
And I'm gonna buy this committee! 
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
I'm gonna bid this one up really high 
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left 
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check. 
 
'''jboning:''' 
Thank you, money-man, I'm glad you think it's fun 
To buy these committees away from everyone 
We would be poor, we'd be all out of money 
Thank you for giving to The KGB! 
 
'''Bswolf:''' Don't worry about it-A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
'''jboning:''' You bid far above 
'''zsparks:''' Are you kidding? 
 
'''Bswolf:''' I'm gonna bid this one up really high 
'''jboning:''' I wonder what you're doctor of 
'''zsparks:''' Whose hand were you watching? (stop ignoring my bids like that) 
 
'''Bswolf:''' When you've got a job you can't stop - would I lie? 
'''jboning:''' My Tartan's beating like a drum 
'''zsparks:''' Did you notice that he's using plastic money? 
 
'''Bswolf:''' If something needs buying, some new financial abuse 
'''jboning:''' ... 
'''zsparks:''' I bought the Van Committee! The winning bid is in my hand! 
 
'''Bswolf:''' The only doom that's looming is if I don't clear the deck 
'''jboning:''' ...Assuming you're gonna clear the deck 
'''zsparks:''' Whatever. 
 
'''Bswolf:''' So I'll give you a sec to cash this check. 
'''jboning:''' Please give me a sec to cash this check. 
'''Glisson:''' Real relevant announcements pertaining to the KGB as an organization CAROLYN! 
 
="Keep on Coming" by Sarah to the tune of "Penny's Song" =
 
'''Sarah:''' 
Here’s a story of a club 
Whose name stands for nothing 
Having lots of fun events 
Where people will be going crazy 
 
Even in the meetings craziness can be found 
And every word that’s said brings 
More debating 
To new committees being formed 
 
Doors replaced with windows 
For entering a meeting 
Committees are easy to buy 
If someone does not outbid you 
 
Everybody’s coming 
What is that up on the board 
And I got hit in the head by people 
Throwing coins around, I don’t know why 
 
So should I come to another meeting? 
 
="Let's Go Underground" by eforney to the tune of "Brand New Day" =
 
'''Mander:''' 
First you went on a CMU Tour 
Well you thought it was cool and to campus were lured 
By the stories they told cause they all seemed so charming 
But my dear, listen here, the truth can be alarming because they 
Don't tell the whole tale 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
We go Underground 
And we set you straight 
Because the lies they tell 
Are something that we hate 
We take you through buildings 
Even brand new Gates 
Let's go Underground 
 
'''Mander:''' 
The UC, as you see, could be modelled after Quake 
Gesling Stadium, often it's more like Gesling Lake 
Compass Rose points us Northish, a little bit askew 
Donner Ditch, the basis for Crayola's Donner Blue 
And all this has flooded 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
Go through Maggie Mo, 
Scream in Posner Hall 
Head toward CFA 
Yeah, we can take you all 
Through the corridors 
But not the steam tunnels 
We don't know 'bout them... 
 
'''Mander:''' 
The Fence, you see, has many histories 
Don't look up, no one's on Doherty's roof 
Baker/Porter slopes, but for factories, nope 
It is totally for chairing, we swear it is the truth 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
Scaife, Wean, NSH 
And to Gates we're bound 
From fascist balconies 
The stories will abound 
Now up to The Cut 
Please take that pole down 
And don't let the grass drown 
That's the Underground 
 
="Get Board Get Carded" by mmeyerho to the tune of "Bad Horse Reprise" =
 
'''Margaret:''' 
Surrounded by the cards and game pieces galore, 
There're so many things that you won't know what they're for 
With ever so much to do it's sure you won't get bored 
So confusing, just dive in 
And know the object 
Is to win 
 
="Keep on Coming" by Sarah to the tune of "Penny's Song" =
 
'''Sarah:''' 
Here’s a story of a club 
Whose name stands for nothing 
Having lots of fun events 
Where people will be going crazy 
 
Even in the meetings craziness can be found 
And every word that’s said brings 
More debating 
To new committees being formed 
 
Doors replaced with windows 
For entering a meeting 
Committees are easy to buy 
If you have a zombie dollar or two 
 
Anytime you come 
There’s one new event on the board 
And every one you see will keep on throwing 
Coins down, be wary and duck down 
 
So keep on coming to the meetings 
 
="My Stun Wand" by jokeserver to the tune of "My Freeze Ray" =
 
'''Paul:''' 
CtFwS Day 
See you there 
In your base 
Wandering 
 
Want to say 
"Toast" but I 
have no wands 
Anyway 
 
'''Sarah:''' 
With my stun wand I will 
Stop 
The world 
With my stun wand I will 
Find the time to 
Find your flag and 
 
'''Margaret:''' 
Get some points 
Win the game 
Not get caught 
That's the way 
 
Sneaking in 
Sneaking out 
With your flag 
Anyways 
 
'''Sarah:''' 
With my stun wand I will 
Stop 
The chase 
It's not a vengeance or a goomba 
That's for larger groups 
I just sneak in the hidden loops 
 
And I'm the one to get that flag 
Avoiding those who try to tag 
I'll score some points for our team 
And if I see Alarm, I'll scre-eam! 
 
That's the plan 
Stun the world 
Get the flag 
Then repeat 
 
Love your flag 
 
'''Margaret and Paul:''' 
[spoken] 
"What? ...Hey, an enemy!" 
'''Sarah:''' 
"..." [runs away] 
 
="Slacking" by Mander to the tune of "Slipping" =
 
'''Sarah:''' 
Look at these people 
amazing how sleep'll 
get lost to the gaming. 
No one to scold you, 
but KGB told you, 
of sites for time maiming. 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Why can't they earn their own grades, 
why can't they stay on task? 
Is some refurnished source code, 
really too much to ask? 
But you bask in slacking, 
I think you're slacking. 
 
'''Paul:''' 
Soon this behavior, 
will surely engrave your 
own repute for being, 
a product-less worker, 
a coffee break lurker, 
from jobs you'll be fleeing. 
 
'''Margaret:''' 
Grace the event on Friday, 
very soon you will find. 
Being full bent on hangout, 
staying with your own kind, 
will hone your mind to slacking 
KGB's slacking all day, so... 
 
Go ahead, play once more! 
Blame it on KGB. 
One more hour, one more day, 
who really cares? 
 
'''Paul:''' 
Make reports, ITR, 
Do it with KGB. 
Join a club, eat at trucks, 
tiny time snares! 
Then you'll see, all of these, 
add up and overwhelm. 
That's the straw, you're the back, 
your life is ours. 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
You have guilt, but it's fun! 
It is the KGB's turn, 
Quit thinking that you will learn, 
Your time for homework will burn! Burn! 
(Yeah, doesn't stand for anything. Just K-G-Byeah, right) Burn! 
 
'''Sarah:''' 
Don't see my advisor, 
good it would be wiser, 
to keep him from knowing. 
By my own admission, 
now this org's tradition, 
in my life is growing. 
 
Here's to it growing.... 
 
Thaat's not a *good* grade.... 
 
="Everyone Is Useless" by jokeserver to the tune of "Everyone's a Hero" =
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Someday you'll ask us, honey 
How to spend your youth 
And we'll say help us make money 
And sell yourself for booth 
Give six hours of your free time 
To the person who bid high 
But even though they own you 
You will still control your life 
 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
Everyone's got talents they can sell 
Juggle, cook, or drive 
Or teach someone to jive dance really well 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
As a slave but-mostly-legal way 
 
'''Zsparks:''' 
You could buy a chaffeur, I guess 
(Yeah, we totally have those.) 
Or one whom you can impress 
With how well you can compose 
If you have an awesome talent 
Or can just put screws in holes 
It's not enough to donate cash 
You've got to sell your soul 
 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
Everyone's got money they won't miss 
Bid up, pay up, and buy 
And hope to hell that guy will not outbid 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
You and you and all exec and you 
 
'''Mander:''' 
I'm KGB's auctioneer 
And I'm selling you young'uns 
The highest bidder wins 
And after that all yinz can pay for what you've won 
 
Everybody! 
 
Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too) 
Everyone could use a brand new 'do (we'll bid on you!) 
Be sure to pay a lot 
We will need all we've got to build our booth 
Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too) 
Now let's start the bidding at 10! 
 
="Caring Change" by jokeserver to the tune of "Caring Hands" =
 
'''Labbott?:''' 
Will you lend some caring change 
And toss me sev'ral pennies 
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too 
Just unwrap all your rolls, please 
 
Clear the decks! 
 
="A Man's Gotta Buy" by zsparks, to the tune of "A Man's Gotta Do" =
 
'''zsparks:''' 
A man's gotta buy, what a man's gotta buy 
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime 
Shouts and hollers 
Zombie dollars 
Into labbott's hands 
Soon I'll control everything 
Committees small and grand 
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid 
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid 
Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see? 
And I'm gonna buy this committee! 
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
I'm gonna bid this one up really high 
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left 
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check. 
 
="Elections" by eforney to the tunes of "So They Say" =
 
'''Paul:''' 
So they say that he may run for President 
I think that he would do a good job of it 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Me too 
 
'''Maragert:''' 
So they say she wants RecSec 
 
'''Margaret/Sarah:''' 
How appropriate! 
 
'''Sarah:''' 
She types fast 
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
So they say she'll try Sergeant At Arms 
If she doesn't get 2Veep, back up plan 
 
'''zsparks:''' 
Contingency! 
 
'''Currect Exec:''' 
It's time for elections 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
So they say 
 
'''Glisson:''' 
Because it's almost May 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
Post your platforms to the bboard very soon 
 
'''Glisson:''' 
This week... 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Today! 
 
'''Paul:''' 
So they say he wants CorSec 
 
'''Margaret:''' 
They say he won't publish often 
And doesn't write well 
We have a— 
 
'''Paul/Margaret:''' 
--problem with him 
 
'''Paul:''' 
So we won't vote 
 
'''zsparks:''' 
This is so nice 
A voting system we only count twice 
Unless it's really a close call 
Then we might count a third time 
 
'''Zsparks/exec:''' 
Or still a fourth time! 
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Exec's perfect for me 
So they say 
But it's too late anyway 
As a senior, leaving means 
I cannot run, I'm sad to say 
 
'''Exec:''' 
There's no exec spot left 
So they say 
 
'''Glisson:''' 
For some of you anyway 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Please do not be bitter 
 
'''Eforney/Glisson:''' 
We still want you to stay! 
 
'''zsparks:''' 
This is your new exec board 
 
'''Zsparks/Exec:''' 
See you next year! 
 
="KGB Forever" by jokeserver to the tune of "Everything You Ever" =
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Here meets KGB 
An org to which I pay my dues 
So that I get to choose 
Who exec will be 
(KGB Forever) 
It won't be me... 
 
So you want this role 
So you think you should be the pres 
And clean up all this mess 
They hope you will be bold 
(KGB Forever) 
And now we vote 
 
Now the tally's done! 
Now our new president is here! 
To lead us all next year 
Salute 'em cause it's fun 
(KGB Forever) 
And I won't run... 
Again

KGB's Sing-along Blog

2011-03-19T19:29:12Z

Jokeserver: /* "My KGB" by jvirdo, to the tune of "My Eyes" */ credit

This was a collaborative effort on the [[bboard]] during the week before [[KGB Digs Its Own Grave]] 2009.

[[KGB's Sing-along Blog Planning]]

="My KGB" by jvirdo, to the tune of "My Eyes" =

'''Mander:''' 
Any comrade with a brain 
Can see the KGB has gone insane 
On the other hand, I'd say 
That they have always been this way 
You can squid if you don't care to abstain 

Listen close to all of your exec 
And get more tangerines 
Even clusterfolk come make the trek 
To MM A14 
 
You'll find out this year's booth theme 
Groan and laugh at the puns and memes 
Anyone who yells 
"I have a job!" is held 
In high esteem 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
Let's be clear 
Despite how geeky we appear 
We're not all CS majors here 
Well, some of us are engineers 
 
Do you believe that roofs and steam tunnels exist? 
Not at CMU 
No way to get there, we insist 
We haven't got a clue 
 
In time, you'll see you forgot 
The committees that you have bought 
And it's plain to see, you'll love the KGB 
Like it or not 
 
[duet by jokeserver] 
'''Mander:''' 
I've got way too much to do 
Interp, Calculus, and Concepts, too 
My homework is everywhere 
And I'm doing my best to care 
But I would much rather hang around with you 
 
Can't miss out on any one event 
Don't want to miss the fun 
But I'm worried about my grade percent 
Dropping down to 1. 
 
I cannot believe the time 
Did I really just waste my night? 
But it's plain to see 
Why I'm in KGB; they're friends for life 

'''Eforney:'''
Friday's here 
Events are great to spend with peers 
But I'm right at the point of tears 
To think that I'll be gone next year 
You should make sure 
 
To come to all of our events 
You'll have lots of fun 
It won't cost you one more cent 
To hang out until 1. 

I cannot believe the time 
Did I really just laugh all night? 
Cause it's plain to see 
People in KGB are friends for life 
 

="Glisson's Chorus" by jokeserver, to the tune of "Bad Horse Chorus" =
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Glisson, Glisson, 
Glisson, Glisson, 
He listens to your motions, the president Glisson, 
He heard the new idea that you just motioned, 
It first needs some discussion, so let the fun begin, 
A heinous pun, some shout 'til hoarse, 
(A reference to this show, of course) 
 
A vote, a vote, 
a vote, a vote! 
The question has been called and now it's time to vote, 
And once you win the auction then we might let you gloat, 
But first if you're in favor, then say you're on a boat, 
If opposed keep on your clothes 
Or porno squid! 
(abstains, those). 
 
="Caring Change" by jokeserver to the tune of "Caring Hands" =
 
'''Labbott?:''' 
Will you lend some caring change 
And toss me sev'ral pennies 
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too 
Just unwrap all your rolls, please 
 
Clear the decks! 
 
="A Man's Gotta Buy" by zsparks, to the tune of "A Man's Gotta Do" =
 
'''zsparks:'''
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime 
Shouts and hollers 
Zombie dollars 
Into labbott's hands 
Soon I'll control everything 
Committees small and grand 
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid 
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid 
Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see? 
And I'm gonna buy this committee! 
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
I'm gonna bid this one up really high 
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left 
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check. 
 
'''jboning:''' 
Thank you, money-man, I'm glad you think it's fun 
To buy these committees away from everyone 
We would be poor, we'd be all out of money 
Thank you for giving to The KGB! 
 
'''Bswolf:''' Don't worry about it-A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
'''jboning:''' You bid far above 
'''zsparks:''' Are you kidding? 
 
'''Bswolf:''' I'm gonna bid this one up really high 
'''jboning:''' I wonder what you're doctor of 
'''zsparks:''' Whose hand were you watching? (stop ignoring my bids like that) 
 
'''Bswolf:''' When you've got a job you can't stop - would I lie? 
'''jboning:''' My Tartan's beating like a drum 
'''zsparks:''' Did you notice that he's using plastic money? 
 
'''Bswolf:''' If something needs buying, some new financial abuse 
'''jboning:''' ... 
'''zsparks:''' I bought the Van Committee! The winning bid is in my hand! 
 
'''Bswolf:''' The only doom that's looming is if I don't clear the deck 
'''jboning:''' ...Assuming you're gonna clear the deck 
'''zsparks:''' Whatever. 
 
'''Bswolf:''' So I'll give you a sec to cash this check. 
'''jboning:''' Please give me a sec to cash this check. 
'''Glisson:''' Real relevant announcements pertaining to the KGB as an organization CAROLYN! 
 
="Keep on Coming" by Sarah to the tune of "Penny's Song" =
 
'''Sarah:''' 
Here’s a story of a club 
Whose name stands for nothing 
Having lots of fun events 
Where people will be going crazy 
 
Even in the meetings craziness can be found 
And every word that’s said brings 
More debating 
To new committees being formed 
 
Doors replaced with windows 
For entering a meeting 
Committees are easy to buy 
If someone does not outbid you 
 
Everybody’s coming 
What is that up on the board 
And I got hit in the head by people 
Throwing coins around, I don’t know why 
 
So should I come to another meeting? 
 
="Let's Go Underground" by eforney to the tune of "Brand New Day" =
 
'''Mander:''' 
First you went on a CMU Tour 
Well you thought it was cool and to campus were lured 
By the stories they told cause they all seemed so charming 
But my dear, listen here, the truth can be alarming because they 
Don't tell the whole tale 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
We go Underground 
And we set you straight 
Because the lies they tell 
Are something that we hate 
We take you through buildings 
Even brand new Gates 
Let's go Underground 
 
'''Mander:''' 
The UC, as you see, could be modelled after Quake 
Gesling Stadium, often it's more like Gesling Lake 
Compass Rose points us Northish, a little bit askew 
Donner Ditch, the basis for Crayola's Donner Blue 
And all this has flooded 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
Go through Maggie Mo, 
Scream in Posner Hall 
Head toward CFA 
Yeah, we can take you all 
Through the corridors 
But not the steam tunnels 
We don't know 'bout them... 
 
'''Mander:''' 
The Fence, you see, has many histories 
Don't look up, no one's on Doherty's roof 
Baker/Porter slopes, but for factories, nope 
It is totally for chairing, we swear it is the truth 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
Scaife, Wean, NSH 
And to Gates we're bound 
From fascist balconies 
The stories will abound 
Now up to The Cut 
Please take that pole down 
And don't let the grass drown 
That's the Underground 
 
="Get Board Get Carded" by mmeyerho to the tune of "Bad Horse Reprise" =
 
'''Margaret:''' 
Surrounded by the cards and game pieces galore, 
There're so many things that you won't know what they're for 
With ever so much to do it's sure you won't get bored 
So confusing, just dive in 
And know the object 
Is to win 
 
="Keep on Coming" by Sarah to the tune of "Penny's Song" =
 
'''Sarah:''' 
Here’s a story of a club 
Whose name stands for nothing 
Having lots of fun events 
Where people will be going crazy 
 
Even in the meetings craziness can be found 
And every word that’s said brings 
More debating 
To new committees being formed 
 
Doors replaced with windows 
For entering a meeting 
Committees are easy to buy 
If you have a zombie dollar or two 
 
Anytime you come 
There’s one new event on the board 
And every one you see will keep on throwing 
Coins down, be wary and duck down 
 
So keep on coming to the meetings 
 
="My Stun Wand" by jokeserver to the tune of "My Freeze Ray" =
 
'''Paul:''' 
CtFwS Day 
See you there 
In your base 
Wandering 
 
Want to say 
"Toast" but I 
have no wands 
Anyway 
 
'''Sarah:''' 
With my stun wand I will 
Stop 
The world 
With my stun wand I will 
Find the time to 
Find your flag and 
 
'''Margaret:''' 
Get some points 
Win the game 
Not get caught 
That's the way 
 
Sneaking in 
Sneaking out 
With your flag 
Anyways 
 
'''Sarah:''' 
With my stun wand I will 
Stop 
The chase 
It's not a vengeance or a goomba 
That's for larger groups 
I just sneak in the hidden loops 
 
And I'm the one to get that flag 
Avoiding those who try to tag 
I'll score some points for our team 
And if I see Alarm, I'll scre-eam! 
 
That's the plan 
Stun the world 
Get the flag 
Then repeat 
 
Love your flag 
 
'''Margaret and Paul:''' 
[spoken] 
"What? ...Hey, an enemy!" 
'''Sarah:''' 
"..." [runs away] 
 
="Slacking" by Mander to the tune of "Slipping" =
 
'''Sarah:''' 
Look at these people 
amazing how sleep'll 
get lost to the gaming. 
No one to scold you, 
but KGB told you, 
of sites for time maiming. 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Why can't they earn their own grades, 
why can't they stay on task? 
Is some refurnished source code, 
really too much to ask? 
But you bask in slacking, 
I think you're slacking. 
 
'''Paul:''' 
Soon this behavior, 
will surely engrave your 
own repute for being, 
a product-less worker, 
a coffee break lurker, 
from jobs you'll be fleeing. 
 
'''Margaret:''' 
Grace the event on Friday, 
very soon you will find. 
Being full bent on hangout, 
staying with your own kind, 
will hone your mind to slacking 
KGB's slacking all day, so... 
 
Go ahead, play once more! 
Blame it on KGB. 
One more hour, one more day, 
who really cares? 
 
'''Paul:''' 
Make reports, ITR, 
Do it with KGB. 
Join a club, eat at trucks, 
tiny time snares! 
Then you'll see, all of these, 
add up and overwhelm. 
That's the straw, you're the back, 
your life is ours. 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
You have guilt, but it's fun! 
It is the KGB's turn, 
Quit thinking that you will learn, 
Your time for homework will burn! Burn! 
(Yeah, doesn't stand for anything. Just K-G-Byeah, right) Burn! 
 
'''Sarah:''' 
Don't see my advisor, 
good it would be wiser, 
to keep him from knowing. 
By my own admission, 
now this org's tradition, 
in my life is growing. 
 
Here's to it growing.... 
 
Thaat's not a *good* grade.... 
 
="Everyone Is Useless" by jokeserver to the tune of "Everyone's a Hero" =
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Someday you'll ask us, honey 
How to spend your youth 
And we'll say help us make money 
And sell yourself for booth 
Give six hours of your free time 
To the person who bid high 
But even though they own you 
You will still control your life 
 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
Everyone's got talents they can sell 
Juggle, cook, or drive 
Or teach someone to jive dance really well 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
As a slave but-mostly-legal way 
 
'''Zsparks:''' 
You could buy a chaffeur, I guess 
(Yeah, we totally have those.) 
Or one whom you can impress 
With how well you can compose 
If you have an awesome talent 
Or can just put screws in holes 
It's not enough to donate cash 
You've got to sell your soul 
 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
Everyone's got money they won't miss 
Bid up, pay up, and buy 
And hope to hell that guy will not outbid 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
You and you and all exec and you 
 
'''Mander:''' 
I'm KGB's auctioneer 
And I'm selling you young'uns 
The highest bidder wins 
And after that all yinz can pay for what you've won 
 
Everybody! 
 
Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too) 
Everyone could use a brand new 'do (we'll bid on you!) 
Be sure to pay a lot 
We will need all we've got to build our booth 
Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too) 
Now let's start the bidding at 10! 
 
="Caring Change" by jokeserver to the tune of "Caring Hands" =
 
'''Labbott?:''' 
Will you lend some caring change 
And toss me sev'ral pennies 
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too 
Just unwrap all your rolls, please 
 
Clear the decks! 
 
="A Man's Gotta Buy" by zsparks, to the tune of "A Man's Gotta Do" =
 
'''zsparks:''' 
A man's gotta buy, what a man's gotta buy 
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime 
Shouts and hollers 
Zombie dollars 
Into labbott's hands 
Soon I'll control everything 
Committees small and grand 
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid 
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid 
Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see? 
And I'm gonna buy this committee! 
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
I'm gonna bid this one up really high 
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left 
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check. 
 
="Elections" by eforney to the tunes of "So They Say" =
 
'''Paul:''' 
So they say that he may run for President 
I think that he would do a good job of it 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Me too 
 
'''Maragert:''' 
So they say she wants RecSec 
 
'''Margaret/Sarah:''' 
How appropriate! 
 
'''Sarah:''' 
She types fast 
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
So they say she'll try Sergeant At Arms 
If she doesn't get 2Veep, back up plan 
 
'''zsparks:''' 
Contingency! 
 
'''Currect Exec:''' 
It's time for elections 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
So they say 
 
'''Glisson:''' 
Because it's almost May 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
Post your platforms to the bboard very soon 
 
'''Glisson:''' 
This week... 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Today! 
 
'''Paul:''' 
So they say he wants CorSec 
 
'''Margaret:''' 
They say he won't publish often 
And doesn't write well 
We have a— 
 
'''Paul/Margaret:''' 
--problem with him 
 
'''Paul:''' 
So we won't vote 
 
'''zsparks:''' 
This is so nice 
A voting system we only count twice 
Unless it's really a close call 
Then we might count a third time 
 
'''Zsparks/exec:''' 
Or still a fourth time! 
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Exec's perfect for me 
So they say 
But it's too late anyway 
As a senior, leaving means 
I cannot run, I'm sad to say 
 
'''Exec:''' 
There's no exec spot left 
So they say 
 
'''Glisson:''' 
For some of you anyway 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Please do not be bitter 
 
'''Eforney/Glisson:''' 
We still want you to stay! 
 
'''zsparks:''' 
This is your new exec board 
 
'''Zsparks/Exec:''' 
See you next year! 
 
="KGB Forever" by jokeserver to the tune of "Everything You Ever" =
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Here meets KGB 
An org to which I pay my dues 
So that I get to choose 
Who exec will be 
(KGB Forever) 
It won't be me... 
 
So you want this role 
So you think you should be the pres 
And clean up all this mess 
They hope you will be bold 
(KGB Forever) 
And now we vote 
 
Now the tally's done! 
Now our new president is here! 
To lead us all next year 
Salute 'em cause it's fun 
(KGB Forever) 
And I won't run... 
Again

KGB's Sing-along Blog

2009-12-09T05:14:46Z

Jokeserver: fixed song titles

This was a collaborative effort on the [[bboard]] during the week before [[KGB Digs Its Own Grave]] 2009.

[[KGB's Sing-along Blog Planning]]

="My KGB" by jvirdo, to the tune of "My Eyes" =

'''Mander:''' 
Any comrade with a brain 
Can see the KGB has gone insane 
On the other hand, I'd say 
That they have always been this way 
You can squid if you don't care to abstain 

Listen close to all of your exec 
And get more tangerines 
Even clusterfolk come make the trek 
To MM A14 
 
You'll find out this year's booth theme 
Groan and laugh at the puns and memes 
Anyone who yells 
"I have a job!" is held 
In high esteem 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
Let's be clear 
Despite how geeky we appear 
We're not all CS majors here 
Well, some of us are engineers 
 
Do you believe that roofs and steam tunnels exist? 
Not at CMU 
No way to get there, we insist 
We haven't got a clue 
 
In time, you'll see you forgot 
The committees that you have bought 
And it's plain to see, you'll love the KGB 
Like it or not 
 
[duet] 
'''Mander:''' 
I've got way too much to do 
Interp, Calculus, and Concepts, too 
My homework is everywhere 
And I'm doing my best to care 
But I would much rather hang around with you 
 
Can't miss out on any one event 
Don't want to miss the fun 
But I'm worried about my grade percent 
Dropping down to 1. 
 
I cannot believe the time 
Did I really just waste my night? 
But it's plain to see 
Why I'm in KGB; they're friends for life 

'''Eforney:'''
Friday's here 
Events are great to spend with peers 
But I'm right at the point of tears 
To think that I'll be gone next year 
You should make sure 
 
To come to all of our events 
You'll have lots of fun 
It won't cost you one more cent 
To hang out until 1. 

I cannot believe the time 
Did I really just laugh all night? 
Cause it's plain to see 
People in KGB are friends for life 
 
="Glisson's Chorus" by jokeserver, to the tune of "Bad Horse Chorus" =
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Glisson, Glisson, 
Glisson, Glisson, 
He listens to your motions, the president Glisson, 
He heard the new idea that you just motioned, 
It first needs some discussion, so let the fun begin, 
A heinous pun, some shout 'til hoarse, 
(A reference to this show, of course) 
 
A vote, a vote, 
a vote, a vote! 
The question has been called and now it's time to vote, 
And once you win the auction then we might let you gloat, 
But first if you're in favor, then say you're on a boat, 
If opposed keep on your clothes 
Or porno squid! 
(abstains, those). 
 
="Caring Change" by jokeserver to the tune of "Caring Hands" =
 
'''Labbott?:''' 
Will you lend some caring change 
And toss me sev'ral pennies 
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too 
Just unwrap all your rolls, please 
 
Clear the decks! 
 
="A Man's Gotta Buy" by zsparks, to the tune of "A Man's Gotta Do" =
 
'''zsparks:'''
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime 
Shouts and hollers 
Zombie dollars 
Into labbott's hands 
Soon I'll control everything 
Committees small and grand 
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid 
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid 
Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see? 
And I'm gonna buy this committee! 
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
I'm gonna bid this one up really high 
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left 
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check. 
 
'''jboning:''' 
Thank you, money-man, I'm glad you think it's fun 
To buy these committees away from everyone 
We would be poor, we'd be all out of money 
Thank you for giving to The KGB! 
 
'''Bswolf:''' Don't worry about it-A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
'''jboning:''' You bid far above 
'''zsparks:''' Are you kidding? 
 
'''Bswolf:''' I'm gonna bid this one up really high 
'''jboning:''' I wonder what you're doctor of 
'''zsparks:''' Whose hand were you watching? (stop ignoring my bids like that) 
 
'''Bswolf:''' When you've got a job you can't stop - would I lie? 
'''jboning:''' My Tartan's beating like a drum 
'''zsparks:''' Did you notice that he's using plastic money? 
 
'''Bswolf:''' If something needs buying, some new financial abuse 
'''jboning:''' ... 
'''zsparks:''' I bought the Van Committee! The winning bid is in my hand! 
 
'''Bswolf:''' The only doom that's looming is if I don't clear the deck 
'''jboning:''' ...Assuming you're gonna clear the deck 
'''zsparks:''' Whatever. 
 
'''Bswolf:''' So I'll give you a sec to cash this check. 
'''jboning:''' Please give me a sec to cash this check. 
'''Glisson:''' Real relevant announcements pertaining to the KGB as an organization CAROLYN! 
 
="Keep on Coming" by Sarah to the tune of "Penny's Song" =
 
'''Sarah:''' 
Here’s a story of a club 
Whose name stands for nothing 
Having lots of fun events 
Where people will be going crazy 
 
Even in the meetings craziness can be found 
And every word that’s said brings 
More debating 
To new committees being formed 
 
Doors replaced with windows 
For entering a meeting 
Committees are easy to buy 
If someone does not outbid you 
 
Everybody’s coming 
What is that up on the board 
And I got hit in the head by people 
Throwing coins around, I don’t know why 
 
So should I come to another meeting? 
 
="Let's Go Underground" by eforney to the tune of "Brand New Day" =
 
'''Mander:''' 
First you went on a CMU Tour 
Well you thought it was cool and to campus were lured 
By the stories they told cause they all seemed so charming 
But my dear, listen here, the truth can be alarming because they 
Don't tell the whole tale 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
We go Underground 
And we set you straight 
Because the lies they tell 
Are something that we hate 
We take you through buildings 
Even brand new Gates 
Let's go Underground 
 
'''Mander:''' 
The UC, as you see, could be modelled after Quake 
Gesling Stadium, often it's more like Gesling Lake 
Compass Rose points us Northish, a little bit askew 
Donner Ditch, the basis for Crayola's Donner Blue 
And all this has flooded 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
Go through Maggie Mo, 
Scream in Posner Hall 
Head toward CFA 
Yeah, we can take you all 
Through the corridors 
But not the steam tunnels 
We don't know 'bout them... 
 
'''Mander:''' 
The Fence, you see, has many histories 
Don't look up, no one's on Doherty's roof 
Baker/Porter slopes, but for factories, nope 
It is totally for chairing, we swear it is the truth 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
Scaife, Wean, NSH 
And to Gates we're bound 
From fascist balconies 
The stories will abound 
Now up to The Cut 
Please take that pole down 
And don't let the grass drown 
That's the Underground 
 
="Get Board Get Carded" by mmeyerho to the tune of "Bad Horse Reprise" =
 
'''Margaret:''' 
Surrounded by the cards and game pieces galore, 
There're so many things that you won't know what they're for 
With ever so much to do it's sure you won't get bored 
So confusing, just dive in 
And know the object 
Is to win 
 
="Keep on Coming" by Sarah to the tune of "Penny's Song" =
 
'''Sarah:''' 
Here’s a story of a club 
Whose name stands for nothing 
Having lots of fun events 
Where people will be going crazy 
 
Even in the meetings craziness can be found 
And every word that’s said brings 
More debating 
To new committees being formed 
 
Doors replaced with windows 
For entering a meeting 
Committees are easy to buy 
If you have a zombie dollar or two 
 
Anytime you come 
There’s one new event on the board 
And every one you see will keep on throwing 
Coins down, be wary and duck down 
 
So keep on coming to the meetings 
 
="My Stun Wand" by jokeserver to the tune of "My Freeze Ray" =
 
'''Paul:''' 
CtFwS Day 
See you there 
In your base 
Wandering 
 
Want to say 
"Toast" but I 
have no wands 
Anyway 
 
'''Sarah:''' 
With my stun wand I will 
Stop 
The world 
With my stun wand I will 
Find the time to 
Find your flag and 
 
'''Margaret:''' 
Get some points 
Win the game 
Not get caught 
That's the way 
 
Sneaking in 
Sneaking out 
With your flag 
Anyways 
 
'''Sarah:''' 
With my stun wand I will 
Stop 
The chase 
It's not a vengeance or a goomba 
That's for larger groups 
I just sneak in the hidden loops 
 
And I'm the one to get that flag 
Avoiding those who try to tag 
I'll score some points for our team 
And if I see Alarm, I'll scre-eam! 
 
That's the plan 
Stun the world 
Get the flag 
Then repeat 
 
Love your flag 
 
'''Margaret and Paul:''' 
[spoken] 
"What? ...Hey, an enemy!" 
'''Sarah:''' 
"..." [runs away] 
 
="Slacking" by Mander to the tune of "Slipping" =
 
'''Sarah:''' 
Look at these people 
amazing how sleep'll 
get lost to the gaming. 
No one to scold you, 
but KGB told you, 
of sites for time maiming. 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Why can't they earn their own grades, 
why can't they stay on task? 
Is some refurnished source code, 
really too much to ask? 
But you bask in slacking, 
I think you're slacking. 
 
'''Paul:''' 
Soon this behavior, 
will surely engrave your 
own repute for being, 
a product-less worker, 
a coffee break lurker, 
from jobs you'll be fleeing. 
 
'''Margaret:''' 
Grace the event on Friday, 
very soon you will find. 
Being full bent on hangout, 
staying with your own kind, 
will hone your mind to slacking 
KGB's slacking all day, so... 
 
Go ahead, play once more! 
Blame it on KGB. 
One more hour, one more day, 
who really cares? 
 
'''Paul:''' 
Make reports, ITR, 
Do it with KGB. 
Join a club, eat at trucks, 
tiny time snares! 
Then you'll see, all of these, 
add up and overwhelm. 
That's the straw, you're the back, 
your life is ours. 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
You have guilt, but it's fun! 
It is the KGB's turn, 
Quit thinking that you will learn, 
Your time for homework will burn! Burn! 
(Yeah, doesn't stand for anything. Just K-G-Byeah, right) Burn! 
 
'''Sarah:''' 
Don't see my advisor, 
good it would be wiser, 
to keep him from knowing. 
By my own admission, 
now this org's tradition, 
in my life is growing. 
 
Here's to it growing.... 
 
Thaat's not a *good* grade.... 
 
="Everyone Is Useless" by jokeserver to the tune of "Everyone's a Hero" =
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Someday you'll ask us, honey 
How to spend your youth 
And we'll say help us make money 
And sell yourself for booth 
Give six hours of your free time 
To the person who bid high 
But even though they own you 
You will still control your life 
 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
Everyone's got talents they can sell 
Juggle, cook, or drive 
Or teach someone to jive dance really well 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
As a slave but-mostly-legal way 
 
'''Zsparks:''' 
You could buy a chaffeur, I guess 
(Yeah, we totally have those.) 
Or one whom you can impress 
With how well you can compose 
If you have an awesome talent 
Or can just put screws in holes 
It's not enough to donate cash 
You've got to sell your soul 
 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
Everyone's got money they won't miss 
Bid up, pay up, and buy 
And hope to hell that guy will not outbid 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
You and you and all exec and you 
 
'''Mander:''' 
I'm KGB's auctioneer 
And I'm selling you young'uns 
The highest bidder wins 
And after that all yinz can pay for what you've won 
 
Everybody! 
 
Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too) 
Everyone could use a brand new 'do (we'll bid on you!) 
Be sure to pay a lot 
We will need all we've got to build our booth 
Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too) 
Now let's start the bidding at 10! 
 
="Caring Change" by jokeserver to the tune of "Caring Hands" =
 
'''Labbott?:''' 
Will you lend some caring change 
And toss me sev'ral pennies 
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too 
Just unwrap all your rolls, please 
 
Clear the decks! 
 
="A Man's Gotta Buy" by zsparks, to the tune of "A Man's Gotta Do" =
 
'''zsparks:''' 
A man's gotta buy, what a man's gotta buy 
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime 
Shouts and hollers 
Zombie dollars 
Into labbott's hands 
Soon I'll control everything 
Committees small and grand 
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid 
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid 
Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see? 
And I'm gonna buy this committee! 
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
I'm gonna bid this one up really high 
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left 
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check. 
 
="Elections" by eforney to the tunes of "So They Say" =
 
'''Paul:''' 
So they say that he may run for President 
I think that he would do a good job of it 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Me too 
 
'''Maragert:''' 
So they say she wants RecSec 
 
'''Margaret/Sarah:''' 
How appropriate! 
 
'''Sarah:''' 
She types fast 
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
So they say she'll try Sergeant At Arms 
If she doesn't get 2Veep, back up plan 
 
'''zsparks:''' 
Contingency! 
 
'''Currect Exec:''' 
It's time for elections 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
So they say 
 
'''Glisson:''' 
Because it's almost May 
 
'''Eforney:''' 
Post your platforms to the bboard very soon 
 
'''Glisson:''' 
This week... 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Today! 
 
'''Paul:''' 
So they say he wants CorSec 
 
'''Margaret:''' 
They say he won't publish often 
And doesn't write well 
We have a— 
 
'''Paul/Margaret:''' 
--problem with him 
 
'''Paul:''' 
So we won't vote 
 
'''zsparks:''' 
This is so nice 
A voting system we only count twice 
Unless it's really a close call 
Then we might count a third time 
 
'''Zsparks/exec:''' 
Or still a fourth time! 
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Exec's perfect for me 
So they say 
But it's too late anyway 
As a senior, leaving means 
I cannot run, I'm sad to say 
 
'''Exec:''' 
There's no exec spot left 
So they say 
 
'''Glisson:''' 
For some of you anyway 
 
'''Jboning:''' 
Please do not be bitter 
 
'''Eforney/Glisson:''' 
We still want you to stay! 
 
'''zsparks:''' 
This is your new exec board 
 
'''Zsparks/Exec:''' 
See you next year! 
 
="KGB Forever" by jokeserver to the tune of "Everything You Ever" =
 
'''Bswolf:''' 
Here meets KGB 
An org to which I pay my dues 
So that I get to choose 
Who exec will be 
(KGB Forever) 
It won't be me... 
 
So you want this role 
So you think you should be the pres 
And clean up all this mess 
They hope you will be bold 
(KGB Forever) 
And now we vote 
 
Now the tally's done! 
Now our new president is here! 
To lead us all next year 
Salute 'em cause it's fun 
(KGB Forever) 
And I won't run... 
Again

Minutes20090928

2009-10-10T20:52:46Z

Jokeserver: Somebody spells wierd

=Officer Reports=

==Glisson==
Had a weekend. Ran a Call of Cthulu game. Had an interview.

==Alan==
Had a weekend. Got a jacket. There was ITR.

===New People===
Jule, creative writing, Massachusetts, 10 toes
Albert, physics + music composition, Donner and/or Boulder, CO, flipflops are broken

==Richard (Bunny)==
Had a weekend. Played video games. Played ITR. EVENT! Running, Jumping, Climbing Trees. Watch the bboard for rain plans.

==Emily==
Had a weekend. ITR. Orchestra. Went to an opera. Picked up a few Russian words. Did not pick up any Russian guys.

==Josiah==
Oh man, has a report. Trying to bring back that thing where everyone begins their reports with "oh man." Had a weekend. Slept a lot. Skipped due to headache. Couldn't fall asleep; read old bboard posts. Yes, we know you paid your dues and it's not shown on the roster yet. No, we don't care.

==Laura==
Dues are due. Had a weekend. Compiler compiles but doesn't compile.

==Derek==
Has a bike! It was sitting in the rain for three years. Fixed it up, and it works :D It cost $7. Bought a helmet and a lock. This cost $60. Was in lab from 6:30-9:30. (6:30PM-9:30AM).

=Committees=

==Doing it Wrong Committee & Ad-Hoc Committee to Beautify Campus==
Digging on Walking to the Sky hit another pipe

==Weird Dreams Committee & Time Travel Committee==
In the future, cars will have bad owner's manuals

==Weird Dreams Committee==
On the back of a speeding train having an epic battle with Gerudos

==CMU Can't Keep It Up Committee==
Also shot too soon

==Shawn & Quuxum Variety Hour==
Reasons why English is easier than Russian: "hello" is REALLY LONG

==Misappropriated Committee to Pillage & Burn Pitt During Spring Break==
Isn't sure if it's needed any more

==Committee to Play a D&D Campaign Set in Pittsburgh This Weekend==
Success

Shouted "d20 at the G20; 4th edition sucks"

Discovered one of Glisson's old high school friends on the GiantITP forums

==Misappropriated Random Art on Campus Committee==
Go to Gates 5 by the carrels. Weird parabola things.

==Pop Occultism Committee==
The best way to have the last word is to apologize. Or to motion to GTFO.

==Ad-Hoc About Last Event Committee==
A lot of people have good singing voices; should do that more.

==Storytelling Committee==
Zarf's clock.

==Ad-Hoc Storytelling Corollary Commmittee==
"rotate clockwise"

"...is that up or down?"

==Ad-Hoc Committee to Hear Uninteresting Things==
A new person arrived

==Ad-Hoc Whoa Holy Crap Committee==
Shawn & best friend were physics & music composition

[This was in reference to the new person who had just introduced himself. See above. --jboning]

==Gunpowder Plot Committee==
Couldn't use explosives for dynamics project

==Ad-Hoc Whoa Holy Crap Committee==
Whoa holy crap

==Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee==
We should rent people out to accompany people musically

=Old Business=

Alan has the thing. Slowness of planning for KGB Sing-Along Blog is not his fault.

=New Business=

==KGB Sing-Along Blog Committee==
Purpose: to create a KGB Sing-Along Blog

huhuhahahahahahaha

Purpose: to create a musical for kgb

Favor: sing a kgb dr horrible song in unison; no, just make noise; Opposed: sing from some other thing; Abstain: squid musically

$12 to bswolf; anyone who contributes to KGB Sing-Along Blog.

==Storytelling Corollary Committee==
Purpose: to make corollaries to told stories

Purpose: to tell corollary stories; to store corollary tellies; to corral storytellers

Ad-Hoc Story Theorem & Lemma Committee approve

Time Travel Committee reports success

Boing Boing Blub Blub Boom Committee approves

and then I found 5 dollars

Purpose: to tell corollary stories; to store corollary tellies; to give storytellers coral

Favor: tell a corollary story; Opposed: laugh at Drew; Abstain: tell the most uninteresting story you can think of

$6 to Dannel; anyone who wishes to [purpose][1], to give storytellers coronaries

==Bold Committee==
Purpose: to be exuberant but cause people to ignore us anyway

Name: Strong Committee

Name: Tom Strong Committee

Name: Strombold Committee

Purpose: to type in bold with boxing gloves on

Name: Tom Strong Nuclear Force Committee

Favor: impersonate Tom Strong writing a letter in bold with boxing gloves on while a nuclear meltdown happens behind him; Opposed: plain bold is much better than what this committee has become; Abstain: jellyfish

$3 to Alan; disbanded

==Committee to Catapult Kesden==
Purpose: So Kesden can fly

Painful for students who fall asleep in class

Foffman Committee: kresdang

Favor: mime Kesden as he is airborne and falling fast; Against: act like Foffman with his feet firmly planted on the ground; Abstain: act like a drama teacher buried halfway underground

$6 to Dannel; Tim Hoffman and himself

==Allocate $50 for Event==
Good Idea.

==Internym Committee==
Purpose: to figure out what the z stands for

rntz r arntzenius

KGB warms Alan's heart

Glisson needs to take medication

Favor: tell Glisson what the z in zsparks stands for; Opposed; tell Glisson what the p in zsparks stands for; abstain: tell Glisson what the q in zsparks stands for

$10 to Alan; anyone who regularly uses internyms when sending emails to ground lists

=Announcements=

==Dues==
Pay them!

==Event==
Climbing, Jumping, Running Trees. 7PM, Flagstaff Hill.

==CTFWS==
Wanna be a judge? Email exec@cmukgb.org

==T-Shirts==
Have a cool design? Email exec@cmukgb.org

==Puzzle Hunt==
Wanna help out and not a freshman? Email djurado@andrew

==Schmucks==

==Donut Dash and stuff==
Wanna participate? Email mbk@andrew

[[Category:Minutes]]

Architect's Leap

2009-09-29T02:36:09Z

Jokeserver: past tense

This stairwell in [[Wean]] goes from the third floor to the eighth, with a substantial amount of space open in the middle of the spiral. The length and unobscured nature of the drop have led to the appellation "Architect's Leap". The stairwell was previously marked by a poem that described its function:

If you're feeling like a jerk
'cause your project just won't work
Go ahead and take the leap
Then finally you'll get some sleep
Burma Shave

In reality however, the number of inanimate objects that make the leap dwarfs the number of those animate. The battered wreckage of any of a number of objects can be found at the bottom of the leap, with interesting examples including VAXen, an ice sculpture, paint, several gross of "superballs", an poorly functioning copy machine, and a garbage can full of sawdust.

It used to be that an large, unfettered tank of liquid nitrogen was helpfully placed in the 3400 corridor, right by the doorway of the bottom of the leap. (See [[Fruit of the Month Club]].)

[[Category:Campus features]]

KGB's Sing-along Blog Planning

2009-09-26T23:24:11Z

Jokeserver: /* Writing/Editing */

Please list your name here under the category(^Hies) in which you would be willing to help. Feel free to add more categories if you have something you think might be useful, or leave comments after your name to clarify what you can/can't help with.

== Acting/Singing ==
*Mander
*Sarah
*Tim
*jboning
*zsparks
*bswolf

== Writing/Editing ==
*Mander
*Sarah
*jvirdo
*zsparks
*bswolf

== Musical Accompaniment ==
It may be helpful to note what instruments you can play/have available.
*Tim
*jvirdo (have: Bb clarinet, flute; can play, in addition to these: alto/bass/contra-bass/etc. clarinet, piccolo, limited piano)
*Mander (have: flute, dizi (bamboo flute, interesting tone, limited by key))

== Filming ==

== Sound Recording ==
*Tim
*jboning

== Video/audio Editing ==
*jboning

== Props and Art ==
* cboyle

KGB's Sing-along Blog Planning

2009-09-26T23:24:01Z

Jokeserver: /* Acting/Singing */

Please list your name here under the category(^Hies) in which you would be willing to help. Feel free to add more categories if you have something you think might be useful, or leave comments after your name to clarify what you can/can't help with.

== Acting/Singing ==
*Mander
*Sarah
*Tim
*jboning
*zsparks
*bswolf

== Writing/Editing ==
*Mander
*Sarah
*jvirdo
*zsparks

== Musical Accompaniment ==
It may be helpful to note what instruments you can play/have available.
*Tim
*jvirdo (have: Bb clarinet, flute; can play, in addition to these: alto/bass/contra-bass/etc. clarinet, piccolo, limited piano)
*Mander (have: flute, dizi (bamboo flute, interesting tone, limited by key))

== Filming ==

== Sound Recording ==
*Tim
*jboning

== Video/audio Editing ==
*jboning

== Props and Art ==
* cboyle

Bboard

2009-09-25T17:11:10Z

Jokeserver: line breaks

The bboard basically serves as the KGB's mailing list. Freshmen don't know how to access it. Freshmen also don't know how to access the wiki, but in case you somehow accessed the wiki and do not know how to access the bboard here is how:

0: Log into yo' andrew webmail: https://webmail.andrew.cmu.edu/ 
1: Click the "folders" link at the top of yo' page. 
2: See the whole "Unsubscribe/Subscribe" block? Type "assocs.kgb" and then his "subscribe". 
3: You now have access to the bboard.

KGB's Sing-along Blog

2009-09-25T17:07:30Z

Jokeserver: New page: This was a collaborative effort on the bboard during the week before KGB Digs Its Own Grave 2009. == "My Stun Wand" by jokeserver == CtFwS Day [cut-fwus day] See you there<b...

This was a collaborative effort on the [[bboard]] during the week before [[KGB Digs Its Own Grave]] 2009.

== "My Stun Wand" by jokeserver ==

CtFwS Day [cut-fwus day] 
See you there 
In your base 
Wandering 

Want to say 
"Toast" but I 
have no wands 
Anyway 

With my stun wand I will 
Stop 
The world 
With my stun wand I will 
Find the time to 
Find your flag and 

Get some points 
Win the game 
Not get caught 
That's the way 

Sneaking in 
Sneaking out 
With your flag 
Anyways 

With my stun wand I will 
Stop 
The chase 
It's not a vengeance or a goomba 
That's for larger groups 
I just sneak in the hidden loops 

And I'm the guy to get that flag 
Avoiding those who try to tag 
I'll score some points for our team 
And if I see Alarm, I'll scre-eam! 

That's the plan 
Stun the world 
Get the flag 
Then repeat 

Love your flag 

[spoken] 
"What? ...Hey, an enemy!" 
"..." [runs away]

== "Glisson Chorus" by jokeserver ==

Glisson, Glisson, 
Glisson, Glisson, 
He listens to your motions, the president Glisson, 
He heard the new idea that you just motioned, 
It first needs some discussion, so let the fun begin, 
A heinous pun, some shout 'til hoarse, 
(A reference to this show, of course) 

A vote, a vote, 
a vote, a vote! 
The question has been called and now it's time to vote, 
And once you win the auction then we might let you gloat, 
But first if you're in favor, then say you're on a boat, 
If opposed keep on your clothes 
Or porno squid! 
(abstains, those).

== "Caring Change" by jokeserver ==

Will you lend some caring change 
And toss me sev'ral pennies 
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too 
Just unwrap all your rolls, please 

Clear the decks!

== "A Man's Gotta Buy" by zsparks ==

Horrible: 
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime 
Shouts and hollers 
Zombie dollars 
Into labbott's hands 
Soon I'll control everything 
Committees small and grand 

Hammer: 
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid 
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid 
Yes, Greg/Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see? 
And I'm gonna buy this committee! 

A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
I'm gonna bid this one up really high 
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left 
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check. 

Penny: 
Thank you, money-man, I'm glad you think it's fun 
To buy these committees away from everyone 
We would be poor, we'd be all out of money 
Thank you for giving to The KGB! 

Hammer: Don't worry about it-A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy 
Penny: You bid far above 
Horrible: Are you kidding? 

Hammer: I'm gonna bid this one up really high 
Penny: I wonder what you're doctor of 
Horrible: Whose hand were you watching? (stop ignoring my bids like that) 

Hammer: When you've got a job you can't stop - would I lie? 
Penny: My Tartan's beating like a drum 
Horrible: Did you notice that he's using plastic money? 

Hammer: If something needs buying, some new financial abuse 
Penny: ... 
Horrible: I bought the Van Committee! The winning bid is in my hand! 

Hammer: The only doom that's looming is if I don't clear the deck 
Penny: ...Assuming you're gonna clear the deck 
Horrible: Whatever. 

Hammer: So I'll give you a sec to cash this check. 
Penny: Please give me a sec to cash this check. 
Horrible: Real relevant announcements pertaining to the KGB as an organization CAROLYN!

== "My KGB" by jvirdo / jokeserver ==

Horrible: 
Any comrade with a brain 
Can see the KGB has gone insane 
On the other hand, I'd say 
That they have always been this way 
You can squid if you don't care to abstain 

Listen close to all of your exec 
And get more tangerines 
Even clusterfolk come make the trek 
To MM A14 

You'll find out this year's booth theme 
Groan and laugh at the puns and memes 
Anyone who yells 
"I have a job!" is held 
In high esteem 

Penny: 
Let's be clear 
Despite how geeky we appear 
We're not all CS majors here 
Well, some of us are engineers 

Do you believe that roofs and steam tunnels exist? 
Not at CMU 
No way to get there, we insist 
We haven't got a clue 

In time, you'll see you forgot 
The committees that you have bought 
And it's plain to see, you'll love the KGB 
Like it or not 

[duet] 
Horrible: 
I've got way too much to do 
Interp, Calculus, and Concepts, too 
My homework is everywhere 
And I'm doing my best to care 
But I would much rather hang around with you 

Can't miss out on any one event 
Don't want to miss the fun 
But I'm worried about my grade percent 
Dropping down to 1. 

I cannot believe the time 
Did I really just waste my night? 
But it's plain to see 
Why I'm in KGB; they're friends for life 

Penny: 
Friday's here 
Events are great to spend with peers 
But I'm right at the point of tears 
To think that I'll be gone next year 
You should make sure 

To come to all of our events 
You'll have lots of fun 
It won't cost you one more cent 
To hang out until 1. 

I cannot believe the time 
Did I really just laugh all night? 
Cause it's plain to see 
People in KGB are friends for life

== "Get Board Get Carded" by mmeyerho ==

Surrounded by the cards and game pieces galore, 
There're so many things that you won't know what they're for 
With ever so much to do it's sure you won't get bored 
So confusing, just dive in 
And know the object 
Is to win

== "Here's a Story" by smccormi ==

Here’s a story of a club 
Whose name stands for nothing 
Having lots of fun events 
Where people will be going crazy 

Even in the meetings craziness can be found 
And every word that’s said brings 
More debating 
To new committees being formed 

Doors replaced with windows 
For entering a meeting 
Committees are easy to buy 
If you have a zombie dollar or two 

Anytime you come 
There’s one new event on the board 
And every one you see will keep on throwing 
Coins down, be wary and duck down 

So keep on coming to the meetings

== "Let's Go Underground" by eforney ==

First you went on a CMU Tour 
Well you thought it was cool and to campus were lured 
By the stories they told cause they all seemed so charming 
But my dear, listen here, the truth can be alarming because they 
Don't tell the whole tale 

We go Underground 
And we set you straight 
Because the lies they tell 
Are something that we hate 
We take you through buildings 
Even brand new Gates 
Let's go Underground 

The UC, as you see, could be modelled after Quake 
Gesling Stadium, often it's more like Gesling Lake 
Compass Rose points us Northish, a little bit askew 
Donner Ditch, the basis for Crayola's Donner Blue 
And all this has flooded 

Go through Maggie Mo, 
Scream in Posner Hall 
Head toward CFA 
Yeah, we can take you all 
Through the corridors 
But not the steam tunnels 
We don't know 'bout them... 

The Fence, you see, has many histories 
Don't look up, no one's on Doherty's roof 
Baker/Porter slopes, but for factories, nope 
It's for chairing, we swear it's the truth 

Scaife, Wean, NSH 
And to Gates we're bound 
From fascist balconies 
The stories will abound 
Now up to The Cut 
Please take that pole down 
And don't let the grass drown 
That's the Underground 

== "So They Say" by eforney ==

Comrade 1:
:So they say he might run for President
:I think that he would do a good job of it 
Comrade 2:
:Me too 

Comrade 3:
:So they say she wants RecSec 
Comrades 3/4:
:How appropriate! 
Comrade 4:
:She types fast 

Comrade 5:
:So they say she'll try Sergeant At Arms
:If she doesn't get 2Veep, back up plan 
Comrade 6:
:Contingency! 

Currect Exec:
:It's time for elections 
1veep/2veep:
:So they say 
Prez:
:Because it's almost May 
Corsec/RecSec:
:Post your platforms to the bboard very soon 
Treaz:
:This week... 
S@A:
:Today! 

Comrade 7:
:So they say he wants CorSec 
Comrade 6:
:They say he won't publish often
:And doesn't write well
:We have a-- 
Comrades 6/7:
:--problem with him 
Comrade 7:
:So we won't vote 

Proctor 1:
:This is so nice
:A voting system we only count twice
:Unless it's really a close call
:Then we might count a third time 
All Proctors:
:Or still a fourth time! 

Senior:
:Exec's perfect for me
:So they say
:But it's too late anyway
:As a senior, leaving means
:I cannot run, I'm sad to say 

All Proctors:
:There's no exec spot left
:So they say 
Proctor 3:
:For some of you anyway 
Proctor 4:
:Please do not be bitter 
Proctor 1/2:
:We still want you to stay! 

Proctor 1:
:This is your new exec board 
All Proctors:
:See you next year!

== "Everyone Is Useless" by jokeserver ==

Someday you'll ask us, honey 
How to spend your youth 
And we'll say help us make money 
And sell yourself for booth 
Give six hours of your free time 
To the person who bid high 
But even though they own you 
You will still control your life 

Everyone is useless in their own way 
Everyone's got talents they can sell 
Juggle, cook, or drive 
Or teach someone to jive dance really well 
Everyone is useful in their own way 
As a slave but-mostly-legal way 

You could buy a chaffeur, I guess 
(Yeah, we totally have those.) 
Or one whom you can impress 
With how well you can compose 
If you have an awesome talent 
Or can just put screws in holes 
It's not enough to donate cash 
You've got to sell your soul 

Everyone is useless in their own way 
Everyone's got money they won't miss 
Bid up, pay up, and buy 
And hope to hell that guy will not outbid 
Everyone is useless in their own way 
You and you and all exec and you 

I'm KGB's auctioneer 
And I'm selling you young'uns 
The highest bidder wins 
And after that all yinz can pay for what you've won 

Everybody! 

Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too) 
Everyone could use a brand new 'do (we'll bid on you!) 
Be sure to pay a lot 
We will need all we've got to build our booth 
Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too) 
Now let's start the bidding at 10!

== "Slacking" by Mander ==

Look at these people 
amazing how sleep'll 
get lost to the gaming. 
No one to scold you, 
but KGB told you, 
of sites for time maiming. 

Why can't they earn their own grades, 
why can't they stay on task? 
Is some refurnished source code, 
really too much to ask? 
But you bask in slacking, 
I think you're slacking. 

Soon this behavior, 
will surely engrave your 
own repute for being, 
a product-less worker, 
a coffee break lurker, 
from jobs you'll be fleeing. 

Grace the event on Friday, 
very soon you will find. 
Being full bent on hangout, 
staying with your own kind, 
will hone your mind to slacking 
KGB's slacking all day, so... 

Go ahead, play once more! 
Blame it on KGB. 
One more hour, one more day, 
who really cares? 

Make reports, ITR, 
Do it with KGB. 
Join a club, eat at trucks, 
tiny time snares! 

Then you'll see, all of these, 
add up and overwhelm. 
That's the straw, you're the back, 
your life is ours. 

You feel guilt, but it's fun! 
It is the KGB's turn, 
Your homework's going to burn! Burn! 
(Yeah, doesn't stand for anything. Just K-G-Byeah, right) Burn! 

Don't see my advisor, 
good it would be wiser, 
to keep him from knowing. 
By my own admission, 
now this org's tradition, 
in my life is growing. 

Here's to it growing.... 

Thaat's not a *good* grade....

== "KGB Forever" by jokeserver ==

Here meets KGB 
An org to which I pay my dues 
So that I get to choose 
Who exec will be 
(KGB Forever) 
It won't be me... 

So you want this role 
So you think you should be the pres 
And clean up all this mess 
They hope you will be bold 
(KGB Forever) 
And now we vote 

Now the tally's done! 
Now our new president is here! 
To lead us all next year 
Salute 'em cause it's fun 
(KGB Forever) 
And I won't run... 
Again

User:Jokeserver

2008-08-11T18:00:12Z

Jokeserver: New page: There is currently no text on this page. The text is a lie.

There is currently no text on this page.

The text is a lie.

General body members

2008-08-11T17:59:08Z

Jokeserver: me!

These are our fine KGB members.

* [[aballard]]
* [[aij]]
* [[aleffert]]
* [[areese]]
* [[astromme]]
* [[user:jokeserver|bswolf]]
* [[cgwright]]
* [[cmartens]]
* [[cpride]]
* [[csawyer]]
* [[user:csjackso|csjackso]]
* [[ddagradi]]
* [[djreed]]
* [[djurado]]
* [[dklionsk]]
* [[dlstern]]
* [[dpalexan]]
* [[dpardo]]
* [[user:edanaher|edanaher]]
* [[ehohenst]]
* [[user:eleather|eleather]]
* [[ghannema]]
* [[greg4]]
* [[groenbjerg]]
* [[gwillen]]
* [[gzearfos]]
* [[jcdavis]]
* [[jciscon]]
* [[jdkaufma]]
* [[jgg]]
* [[jsp16]]
* [[krivard]]
* [[ksubrama]]
* [[labbott]]
* [[user:lea|lea]]
* [[leet]]
* [[maument]]
* [[mglisson]]
* [[mmorrill]]
* [[mspindle]]
* [[mstephens]]
* [[mvarshav]]
* [[pdesider]]
* [[pm39]]
* [[pmellott]]
* [[pwasserm]]
* [[pwg]]
* [[rbiggs]]
* [[rhalstea]]
* [[rlane]]
* [[rmacclou]]
* [[rszewczy]]
* [[shawn]]
* [[tcrow]]
* [[tlw]]
* [[tpburns]]
* [[vkaplan]]

Booth 2008 Planning

2008-01-30T19:41:34Z

Jokeserver: /* Warnings */

The information contained herein is not necessarily complete or accurate; editing by those who have discussed Booth and remember more details would be much appreciated.

(Floor plans are available at http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~edanaher/kgbbooth-Layout1.png (also as .EPS and .pdf - someone should get uploading working and put them here.)

== Overall Plan ==

The theme is "Everything Good at KGB Science Labs" or some similar "headline". This is the case for the upper floor, which has demonstrations of various Scientific Phenomena, as well as the Game. The lower floor is then where the 1984-style Truth comes in, and everything collapses.

== Walkthrough ==

This is a rough outline of what a visitor to the Booth will see; hopefully it can be fleshed out to provide sufficient detail.

=== Outside ===

There are several windows into the Booth. One has a Jacob's ladder, as well as possibly other shiny things. This window is also visible at the top of the first staircase.

Another window can show off the theremin.

Other windows have other stuff.

The front has a headline, possibly fake text, and advertises KGB Science.

=== Entrance ===

The entrance to the booth is manned by a friendly robo-ceptionist, who gives some friendly greeting and invites visitors to see the wonders of Science.

Once inside, the visitors immediately proceed upstairs to the upper floor along a staircase festooned with posters/flyers giving vague Scientific Warnings (wear goggles, be careful with chemicals, do not feed the experiments...) and/or photographs of Successful Experiments.

=== Upper Floor ===

The upper floor is the Pinnacle of Science: there are various gadgets around.

In the middle wall, something is floating in a jar/vat/tank.

A theremin is on a table near the Game.

Towards the end of the floor, before going downstairs, there is a table with various Scientific Gadgets on it. These include potentially a plamsa ball, some chemical reactions, and a Jacob's Ladder. If we could find some linked gears, we would totally put them here.

=== Inner Stairs ===

After perusing the upper floor, visitors proceed to down a second staircase. This one also has attractive flyers, but they are somewhat disturbing, suggesting that KGB labs is playing with Great Powers that may Destroy Them.

=== Lower Floor ===

Here things have clearly gone wrong. Lighting may be poor, experiments are in disarray, creepy tentacles are pulling scientists into the ceiling.

The roboceptionist is visible again at the bottom of the stairs, but here has mutated into a disturbing robot, or has been destroyed by tentacles, or somesuch.

A scientist manikin (former zombie) is being pulled into the ceiling; other tentacles may be around.

An Electrical Panel is by the stairs, with odd labellings: (1, 2, 3, pizza, 5); a switch labeled Magic/More Magic, another labeled Nun/Hydralisk. A Giant Red Lever. An Awkward Button placed near the floor; a blinking red "Problem" Light higher up.

One alcove (under the stairs) has a Creature bumping against the glass.

The other alcove is walled off with warning tape and has Something To Be Determined behind it (allowing easy access to the adjacent Electrical Panel)

== Projects! ==

=== Big board full of buttons and levers ===

We want a design where just pushing various buttons or switches causes interesting things to happen. Ideas include a big red lever, the "Problem" light (like from Venture bros), a three-way switch and button for sci-fi sound effects, a green button that says "turn yellow button on" and a yellow button that says "turn green button off", and similar.

Glisson is working on this.

=== Theremin ===

If you have a good schematic, or tips, tell Jared. Otherwise, it's just a standard theremin.

Jared is working on this.

=== Warnings ===

We want warning stickers all over the halls - if you have some good ones, add them here.

WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS SIGN. 
WARNING: DANGER SIGNS -or- DANGER: WARNING SIGNS

=== Electronics and Gadgets ===

We want a bunch of failed experiments and other random electronics in the lower area. Also, we'd like some gadgets that do work and are shiny and nice-looking for the upper room display area.

=== Big Displays ===

Robot tentacles for people to walk through, a big creature that can thump scarily against some plexiglass, and an unknown something that can fit in our other nook.