KGB Wiki - User contributions [en]

Jwatzman

2011-05-06T15:54:34Z

Jwatzman:

[[Category:Members]]

<pre>
My name is an andrewid, so I prefer it to be spelled with a lowercase "j", even at the start of a sentence. If this bothers you, don't put my name at the start of a sentence.

Thanks,
jwatzman

PS: MediaWiki page name restrictions, I hate you.
</pre>

Jwatzman

2011-05-06T15:54:21Z

Jwatzman:

[[Category:Members]]

My name is an andrewid, so I prefer it to be spelled with a lowercase "j", even at the start of a sentence. If this bothers you, don't put my name at the start of a sentence.

Thanks,
jwatzman

PS: MediaWiki page name restrictions, I hate you.

User:Jwatzman

2011-05-06T15:53:02Z

Jwatzman: Redirecting to Jwatzman

#REDIRECT [[jwatzman]]

Minutes20070924

2011-05-06T15:50:45Z

Jwatzman: New page: <pre> Officer Reports: President: new cluster is locked, idiot, has a wand of happiness 1st VP: can't talk, new people: Mike/CS, Liz/CS, Steve/Biology, paid for photoshop 2nd VP: magica...

<pre>
Officer Reports:
President: new cluster is locked, idiot, has a wand of happiness
1st VP: can't talk, new people: Mike/CS, Liz/CS, Steve/Biology,
paid for photoshop
2nd VP: magical adventure, event!: running jumping climbing trees
Flagstaff at 1900, Kirr 1845, rain: HBH 1002-4
CorSec: slackers SUBMIT
RecSec: can't talk
Treas: smell me? Firefly, Howl's, pennies, week of Europe vacation
S@A: Howl'a, Elise, FLCL
1st VP: new people: Yanny/CS/Ohio/outie belly button

Committees:
Gratuitous Obscenities: rule 34, 600 instances of Garfield
Row of Matts: amoeba
Pop Occultism: Jesus, miracles, drunk, nonverbal, Quakers, creepy
Storytelling: JcreedL the internet told me so
what?
Culinary: unsettling success

Old Business:
pfennig: Liz has it; something is not her pfault

New Business:
Motion to make an allocation not to exceed $30 for event food&toys
Motion to create the Shirtless Atomic Human Pile Committee to make
huge people piles. Passed, sold for $5 to Tarsis, herself to chair
Motion to create the "KGB Has No Shame" Committee to promote things
like this. Passed, sold for $5 to Greg, disbanded.
Motion to create the "Search for Intelligent Life in Warcrack"
Committee to do what its name says. Passed, sold for $15 to
Charlie, WOW joke.
Mtion to create the committee to Force-feed the President to make him
try things he hasn't. Failed.

Real Relevant Announcements Pertaining to the Business of KGB as an
Organization:
event!
dues: officers must pay them!
dues: everyone should pay them!

Schmucks:
Thieves of Normality: find a contact
West Wing cluster
</pre>
[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20070917

2011-05-06T15:49:39Z

Jwatzman: New page: <pre> Officer Reports: President: sick, bloody chunks, throat 1st VP: worst day ever. New people: Josh/physics, Alex/MCS, Jason/ECE, Ilya/CS 2nd VP: weekend, sick, better, event! Impro...

<pre>
Officer Reports:
President: sick, bloody chunks, throat
1st VP: worst day ever. New people: Josh/physics, Alex/MCS, Jason/ECE,
Ilya/CS
2nd VP: weekend, sick, better, event! Improv games Fri 19:00
CorSec: recovering 92.53%; You have issues, join a sorority
RecSec: huge
Treasurer: awesome, censored, Tartan
S@A: weekend, spontaneous

Committees:
Pop Occultism: good butterfly, bad moth
Trashy Romance Novels: Undercover Mistress
Judicious Exclamation: bye! *hand puppets on fire*
Intoxicating Puppies: SWAT team shot a puppy
Weird Dreams: sheepdog goes boof
Storytelling: correction re: Kangaroos with AK-47's
Jordan fails at something...
Glue shit to Vincent: Success
Kick Teki: his little brother is at CMU
Ornithopter committee: cockatiel

Old Business:
pfennig: Glisson has it; jello is not his pfault

New Business:
Motion to create the Catty Gossip Committee to spread and create
vicious lies and nasty rumors about members of the KGB. Passed,
sold for $5 to Mkehrt, Chrisamaphone and Todd will chair
Motion to create the Buddhist Font Temple to study with Jcreed.
Passed, sold for $3 to Dannel, Jcreed and Shuie will chair
Motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for the event. Passes
Chaplain says something
Motion to create the Culinary Committee to apply just enough heat to
things. Passed, sold for $9 to Paul, chef Boyardee to chair

Announcements:
Gratuitous Obscenities Committee reports: Nyquil
Event! Friday at 19:00
Pay your dues!
CTFWS: Nov 9!

Schmucks:
Eclectic Studies
SUM41 tickets: talk to Jordan
Thieves of Normality: email kmcinern
Alan was sick
knitting->freemasons
CIA apologizes for lack of pancakes
</pre>
[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20070910

2011-05-06T15:49:00Z

Jwatzman: New page: <pre> Minutes General Body Meeting 10 September 2007 Officer Reports: Pres: hi, that [death of officers movie] was funny, laugh at Dom 1VP: new people: good god! Matt/CS, Bradley/CIT, L...

<pre>
Minutes
General Body Meeting
10 September 2007

Officer Reports:
Pres: hi, that [death of officers movie] was funny, laugh at Dom
1VP: new people: good god!
Matt/CS, Bradley/CIT, Lauren/Bio, quiet human/Bio, Charley/ECE,
Matt/ECE, Mallory/MechE, human whose name I can't spell/ECE,
Meredith/Bio, Aliza/phys, Fritz/??, Nick/CIT, Eric/MechE, Sam/MechE,
Ben/CS, Zach/CS, David/CS, Ben/CS+math, Nathan/CS, Matt/CS,
Dave/ChemE, Matt/phys, Larry/IS, Peter/phys, Jack Black/feels pretty,
Matthew/CS, Rich/MSE, Jeff/CS, Calvin/math+phys, Greg/CS, Charlie/bio,
Jacob/ECE, Christine/polisci, Pete/grad, Chun/CS
2VP: event: Get Board Get Carded, bring games to PH A18 at 19:00 Friday
CS: Sick. Pravda? SUBMIT
RS: Underground Tour
Treas: penny madness!
S@A: I am me! cute

Committees:
Pop Occultism: love is nice. pork, steroids, patient, karma, Fibonacci

Officer Reports: 1VP: new person: Ilya iz Rossii

Committees:
Time Travel: velociraptor attack
Alisa wants to go to the RennFaire; email alisag or areese to go along
Row of Matts: form a row, success, fight Chrises
Make L--- a dominatrix: corsets
Contemplate what the world would be like if instead of air we had
thick nutritive soup: too busy, swim to Chicago
Treasurer owes me $5: Pay your dues
Row of Matts Flying Hats: Udder cream
Steelers: ha-ha
NP-complete Fugue: really fucking hard
Class of 2006-7 Coup: totally won
Storytelling: Octopus? No. Sand woman.

Old Business:
pfennig: Peter the physics freshman; the storytelling committee's
story is not his pfault (good choice)

New Business:
Allocate $50 for event snacks: passed (it's a good idea)

Announcements:
Event! Fri 19:00 PH A18
Puzzle hunt meeting after meeting: talk to Chrisamaphone (cmartens)
Pay your dues: $10 per semester, $15 for the year

Schmucks:
Eclectic studies group meeting 5328 Wean Hall at 6:30
Akiva is leaving :(
Free pancakes on Friday in front of Doherty
</pre>
[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20070827

2011-05-06T15:47:58Z

Jwatzman: New page: <pre> General Body Meeting 27 August 2007 Minutes Officer Reports: President: boring, salute 1VP: new people: lots! 2VP: event: potluck, weather machine Flagstaff 19:00/Kirr 18:30 CorSec:...

<pre>
General Body Meeting 27 August 2007
Minutes

Officer Reports:
President: boring, salute
1VP: new people: lots!
2VP: event: potluck, weather machine Flagstaff 19:00/Kirr 18:30
CorSec: Pravda? SUBMIT!
RecSec: Scavenger hunt
Treasurer: Ultimatum, 430lb of playpen balls
S@A: keep order, shut down by police

Committees:
Row of Matts Committee reports success
Ornithopter Committee reports success
Vaudeville Committee reports Vincent
Committee to Intoxicate Puppies reports success at his house
Gratuitous Obscenities Committee reports: read Assocs.kgb
Bubble-bobble Committee reports future success
Time Travel Committee reports that Alan is awesome and back in town
Occam's Rock'em Sock'em Robot Committee reports tautology
Storytelling Committee reports that the bear in the basement is just
fine
Pop Occultism Committee reports Alan and mixed messages
The I have no idea what's going on Committee reports success on
grounds of freshmen
General body saluted Akiva and LMarsh

Old Business:
Someone had the pfennig, they were not responsible for being somewhere

New Business:
Motion to create the Transformers Committee, purposed to celebrate all
things Transformers, purpose amended to transform members of the
General Body, passed, sold for $5 to Laura, herself to chair
Motion to create the Committee to Unnecessarily Inflate Egos, purposed
to inflate egos whether they need it or not, name amended to
inflate Eggos, passed, sold for $6 to Todd, himself to chair
Motion to create the Committee to Turn L---- into a Dominatrix,
purpose somewhat obvious, passed, sold for $35 to Quuxom,
himself and Shawn to chair
Motion to allocate not more than $50 for the weather machine event,
passed

Announcements:
Meetings will be at 4:30 in MMA14 from now until forever
Read the bboards! Help freshmen read the bboards!
Event: Taunt the weather machine
I (recesec) still have someone's tupperware from the hunt
Shawn says: Don't fail out it sucks, talk to your friends, ask for
help, ask for support, drop extracurriculars if you have to
because you can always come back later

Adjourn.
</pre>
[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20070903

2011-05-06T15:47:13Z

Jwatzman: New page: <pre> Meeting of KGB! Officer Reports Pres – started the meeting, jared’s taking minutes. Not shutting up enough. Boring; treasurer a bum, stolen laundry money. 2vp – Not done...

<pre>
Meeting of KGB!

Officer Reports

Pres – started the meeting, jared’s taking minutes. Not shutting up enough. Boring; treasurer a bum, stolen laundry money.

2vp – Not done, reporting as she writes on board. Eventron, Underground Tour, Friday Sept 7 at 8PM, in kirr, will go everywhere. Why is there a dead nevermind? Because you like secrets! And Truth!

1vp – really shawn, but used to be 1vp. New people… Ben, Bio, West Virginia, ate a pear. Grace, Tenessee, archie, can’t come up with anything. Amanda, art, mariland, fear of large bodies of water.

2vp again – dress inconspicuously! Air quotes, not on dress. If want to crawl, we need help, talk after meeting.

Corsec – Rabidly taking minutes, grr, new PRAVDA next week, minutes so not much else. Ha.

Treasuerer – weekend, not yet, she’s watching you, pennies to freshmen, sorry they’re freshmen too. Weekend, rolling change, $100+ change on desk, collapse? No maintinence. Experimental chem., so eye protection. Goggles. Aagh. Moneygrubbers. $Buy 2/3 of a ton of sweedish fish. Bed of pennies

s@a – weekend, covered in foam (soap), no hwk. Confused by matts. Convertible, car wash, no top.

Committees.

Storytelling – story. Fine line between absurd silly surreal, and pissing people off. Highschool, tow the line, try good side. Innocent pizza people. ADnD 1st, ordered pizza. Bored. Arrived, long front yard + concrete. Pizza walks up walk, shawn + people walk out from side with hoodies & DnD. Bad monty python joke. Pretend nothing going on. Pizza guy ran away, squealed tires. Again – calculus study party. [Peanut gallery intervenes]. Pizza, $10, 10 people, 1990. Get pizza guy with 10 $1. Answers door, need to get cash. Human pyramid behind door, sumersauts forward, 5x $1. People sit in weird positions. In shoe, condom, calculator, $1. Curtains, 2 $1. total: $8. Host, Canadian $1, oops, real $1. Class pres coughs violently, hacking up a lung. Falls to floor, gets chest pounded on, $1. Picks up, gives 4 $.25, gives to Pizza guy, he’s really happy. Act called aristocrats.

Pop Occultism – Soon discover fortunate, adjourn. Cookie in two pieces, the answer is yes. Spaghetti in 3 pieces, flying cars, still alive.

Encourage to take OS – book has dinosaurs.

Row of matts, non Euclidian success.

Laura Dominiatrix – dress inconspicuously.

Steelers – preseason over, opener versus browns. Chili. Head coach, laura dominatrix

Time Travel – unable to top act from last week today, report failure, 24. Happy birthday. Better next week.

Ad hoc csjackso dance

Timecube playing starcraft

Kick techie in ass

British empire Africa – Gordon brown. Success failure unknown. British jokes.

[unknown motion]

Old business!

Pfennig not here, was a freshman. What’s not his fault – freshmen not coming to meetings.

Back to committess – ad hoc more tenessee success.

New Business

$15 for PRAVDA? – no objections, it’s a good idea. Yay!

$all of budges – 2/3 swede fish [unreal!]

More silly allocations.

Create committee to bottle cats – snakes not in cat bottles. Wine joke. Cat assumes shape of container. Bottled cats chase bottled mice. No liquour licence to serve. Garfield had it coming. Bottled shrodingers cat -> no! Voting: stick cat in bottle, joke about lasagna, don’t care about abstentions. Passed! Auction; $8 to greg, chairs jared and greg (drqqsnfujzcxxm).

Create committee for surrealistic investications of claims of the paranormal – investigate, make up, parody scientific real thing. Ghost story committee, new stuff. Less lame. What’s going on (cmertins). Explore sex with ghosts if surreal enough. In the sims? Call upon ghost story busters committee? Aint afraid of no other committee. Vote: Make fun of hat guy, tell ghost stories comitee story, sing ghostbusters theme. Passed – auction: $3 to Shawn, chairs Shawn (3 is magic #?)

Chris new busingess - $100 for underground tour for food, banners question mark. Good idea. Drqxxm is irritating.

Committee to think about bunniese, puppies, other cute things, when bored/confused. Remove matt from room, s@a. What animals are cute – delicious. Bunny with pancake. Caught alligator in fountain last week (small). Vote: Cute animal, worst thing you can imagine as consequence of finding alligator [squid, break in water main], do a little dance, no love. Auction - $4 to akiva, dissolved.

Announcements

President makes spurious announcements.

Motion to impeach chair – out of order.

Chris – Event, cucumbers at 8, dress at home. Tell us if you want to crawl! KGB mystery hunt up next. Email! Dude! Help write, no play.

President – Wednesday, activities fair 430-630 somewhere. Conflicts with exec, so real meeting at 630, members list not mailed, but other things were. Oops.

Liz – that time again, pay dues or ELSE! Also, penny rolling.

J – Pravda next week, SUBMIT!

Schmuicks

Whoops, more announcements, fence for underground tour if you can. Unlikely. Seduce off gravel.

Really Shmucks.

Eclectic studies group aka weird shit club – magical ufo ghosts, meeting at 6:30 at Wean 5328 (old CS lounge!) Missing stuff?

Alan – mystery hunt? White rabbit on t-shirt? See what can do.

Some video – what they’re doing – summoning captain planet. Obvious. [WHAT!?]

Chocoholics on wed, free chocolate. A phi o.

Watch the BBOARD! And livejournal.

Purple Purple Adjourn to Purple.
</pre>

[[Category:Minutes]]

Minutes20070430

2011-05-06T15:44:39Z

Jwatzman: New page: <pre> Minutes: General Body, 30.4.2007 Schmucks: Why don't we have our room? No one knows. Why are we doing schmucks first? Because the President has power. Announcements: Event: Eating ...

<pre>
Minutes: General Body, 30.4.2007

Schmucks:
Why don't we have our room? No one knows.
Why are we doing schmucks first? Because the President has power.

Announcements:
Event: Eating Frenzy, Schenley Park far park, meet at Kirr at 6:45
Useless Stuff: if you bought things, pay Liz ASAP
KGB is not meeting in A14 today or for the next four weeks. Exec will email the general body with a room location.

Officer Reports:
President: Hamburg Hall room numbers are _awful_.
1st Vice President: Sick and has a program to write.
New people: Nick Cass, MechE, has to go lifting right now
Robert Wickman, BME/ChemE, went to the bathroom recently
Christa Politano, not primary education, graduated
2nd Vice President: event: we will provide meat but not much else, will post to bboard if rain
Corresponding Secretary: oh man, officer now, had a weekend, now work, crushed
Recording Secretary: ditto, pretty exactly
Treasurer: had a weekend which contained witches and pirates, but now work
Sergeant@Arms: not crushed, has little work, lucky, general body boos

Committees:
Gratuitous Obscenities: Who has our room?

Pop occultism: lean crop, more from 2VP, deferred

Misappropriations: dropped bouncy balls from the 31st floor of the Cathedral and it was awesome

Pop Occultism: Welcome each day, time to explore, obstacles, success. I guess this means I'll be leaving Pittsburgh. Unexpected relationship will become permanent: Glisson will be S@A for life. Pure logic is the ruin of the spirit; mmorpg's the ruin of GPA.

Misappropriations: Time travel: We should announce in advance on the bboard that we will not have a room for the meeting.

Actual time travel committee agrees.

Storytelling: at a 1996 meeting in Breed Hall, they had the nickel of pfault, which was 5 pennies arc-welded together. This was supposed to be a joke for just a few meetings, so it was buried under a tree. Then it was replaced.

Storytelling again: Had a squirrel in the walls; the thing about squirrels is they are fierce, active, and intersticial. But it was a raccoon, which is worse. But it was three raccoons, and raccoons cost $950.

Vague Threats: Give dlstern a list of the committees you own or else.

Secret Affairs: If you try to take all the committees, not-vague threat.

Fuck with Baggers: Used bagger help to make tasty baked goods.

More Vague Threats.

Bake Barter: advertised slave bagger labor--from Darfur! Then saw Amnesty International tabling nearby, and shouted louder.

Hoffsteader: 1 step closer to base case.

Old Business:
pfennig: Dave: new pfennig has a pineapple that looks like the thistle. President will hold for safekeeping.

Motion to recreate the FUND: $150 for Exec for emergency exec supplies. Move to include alcohol: NO! FUND passes.

New Business:
Allocation not to exceed $75 for food for Feeding Frenzy. Passes.

Motion to create the Trashy Romance Novels committee, with purpose to celebrate trashy romance novels. Shawn has to read said novels in funny accents, Tetris smut, Clippy. Motion passes: $20 to Shawn, himself as chair and soliciting submissions.

Motion to create the Austin Powers Collectible Card committee, with purpose to spread the word about the card game. Bad idea, horrible game. Motion fails: better for all of us.

Motion to create the Ultra-Violet committee, to report the presence of UV light at meeting. This could be covered by an especially strong motion to purple. If we removed our corneas we could see in the UV range, and sell our corneas on the black market; the treasurer approves. Motion passes: $10 to Paul, himself as chair so he can make paranoia jokes.

Motion to renew the Canadian currency scholarship fund, which has the purpose of donating Canadian pennies to the Hub. Need to obey Senate: can't give money to our own members. Amendment: use the money at Montreal strip clubs. Motion and amendment pass.
</pre>
[[Category:Minutes]]