KGB Wiki - User contributions [en]

Broken Record Committee

2017-03-20T00:55:44Z

Khans: Created page with "Motion to create the Broken Record Committee!"

Motion to create the Broken Record Committee!

Liquid Nitrogen

2017-03-20T00:54:45Z

Khans: Created page with "Something that can be used to make ice cream. And which is definitely meant for freezing roses in."

Something that can be used to make ice cream. And which is definitely meant for freezing roses in.

Cluster

2017-03-18T04:01:37Z

Khans:

The [[CMU]] campus has number computer ''clusters''. These are available to any [[CMU]] student to use.

Of particular note are the [[Wean]] clusters. These clusters were very popular among [[KGB]] [[members]], and were frequently the site of impromptu [[:category:events|events]] and goings on. They have since been replaced by clu*.

Around the 1991 time frame, there was a small cluster on the first floor of the Mudge dorm that generally had a free machine even when the other clusters filled up. By 2007 it appears to have been replaced by exercise equipment.

"Cluster" may be a misspelling of "clu*," also known as <s>the Wean 5207 Linux Cluster</s> the Gates 3000 Cluster.

Gates 3000, also called 3k, is the main room currently referred to as "cluster" by KGB members. It has beanbags, Macs that don't work and <s>walls</s> whiteboards.

[[category:Campus features]]
[[Category:KGB Domiciles]]

Fable

2017-03-10T05:53:21Z

Khans:

'''Michael Quinn''' joined the legion of [[Michael]]s in their junior year. They are an artist and are working on a set of exec portraits. Can confirm, the portraits look good.

They also granted the "Monty Hally Trolley Prolley" its name.

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Michaels]]

Kate

2017-03-04T19:06:41Z

Khans: Created page with "'''Kate Krakopolsky'''. One of our genuine Russian speakers. Please contact Komrade Krakopolsky about any messages that need to be sent regarding the revolution. [[Category: ..."

'''Kate Krakopolsky'''. One of our genuine Russian speakers. Please contact Komrade Krakopolsky about any messages that need to be sent regarding the revolution.

[[Category: Members]]
[[Category: Current Members]]

Important Trek

2017-03-04T15:00:38Z

Khans: Murphy, tell me if I missed anything

"Some episodes are too good to have not seen."

[[Important Trek]] is a concept conceived of by [[Murphy]] in 2016-2017.

In Summer 2016, Murphy went to the 50th anniversary Star Trek convention. He heard the theme from the episode "The Inner Light" played by a full orchestra, got super emotional, and decided there were a selection of episodes that everyone had to see. Episodes that are important sci-fi and relatively stand-alone: essentially the best, but also most accessible, of Star Trek.

So he set out on a mission to convert the KGB. Every other Sunday or so, he shows an episode or two of the really good stuff from across all five series. In general these have been quite well received, if only by a small audience.

The episodes (there's almost no chance this is up to date anymore):
*TNG: The Inner Light
*TOS: The City on the Edge of Forever
*TOS: Mirror, Mirror
*DS9: Emissary
*TNG: The Measure of a Man
*TNG: Darmok
*VOY: Death Wish
*VOY: Tuvix
*DS9: Far Beyond the Stars
*TOS: Balance of Terror
*TOS: A Taste of Armageddon
*TNG: Chain of Command

Jpenick

2017-03-04T14:52:33Z

Khans:

'''Jack Penick''' is from [[Idaho Swagmobile|Idaho]]. Also see [[Laugh Track Jack]].

[[Category: Members]]
[[Category: Defectors]]

Rtabassu

2017-03-04T14:52:21Z

Khans:

'''Redwana Tabassum'''

[[Category: Members]]
[[Category: Defectors]]

Mhitchco

2017-03-04T14:43:50Z

Khans:

'''Michael Hitchcock'''

[[Category: Members]]
[[Category:Defectors]]

Mvarner

2017-03-04T14:43:40Z

Khans:

'''Maddy Varner''' is an artist who is responsible for t-shirts, poster and miscellany beloved by the KGB members. That [[Octodad]] t-shirt. That job Maddy did as a [[booth chair]] in 2016. We applaud you, Maddy.

[[Category: Booth Chairs]]
[[Category: Members]]
[[Category:Defectors]]

Zora

2017-03-04T14:43:11Z

Khans:

Zora Gilbert

From Legend of Zelda as opposed to Zorro. A sea dweller and oft giver of quests.

Recording Secretary, 2013-2014:

Zora Gilbert, Master of Words and Creator of Prose, was a fictional character in a cartoon television pilot on Channel A. The pilot was an epic tale; gunslingers and poets battled for supremacy in a heart wrenching, action packed, nail biting coming of age story. Tragically, due to budget cuts the TV station was closed and the show was cancelled. The show was soon forgotten by all but a single person. An eccentric tumblr denizen, anguished by the sudden cancellation, began to write a self-insert fanfic about the show in a sorry attempt to fill the void left by the show’s departure. By an extraordinary stroke of luck, one of Jram’s puns backfired violently at the moment of the fanfics publication, creating a portal between reality and imagination. Through this one remaining link to our universe Zora was transported through space and imagination from the world of fanfic to ours by the Power of Puns. While Zora retained the powers and fantastic hair color bestowed by the show’s creators, the ability to control them was lost. After the initial shock, the KGB realized that the only way to keep Zora from becoming president and spreading the battle-ready mindset of the Poetslingers was to keep their mind busy on typing our ridiculous puns and references. It is our solemn duty to keep them busy. Should we not, their beautifully formed persuasive prose could bring the nations of the world to their knees.

Written by: [[mnabraha|mnabraha]] and [[mwoolfor|mwoolfor]]

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[Xander|Xander Orenstein]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Recording Secretary]]
|years=[[2013 Officers|2013-2014]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[Skye|Skye Toor]]}}
|-
{{s-bef|before=[[Marlena|Marlena Abraham]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Corresponding Secretary]]
|years=[[2014 Officers|2014-2015]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[eeb|Erin Balke]]}}
|-
{{s-bef|before=[[sctoor|Skye Toor]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Recording Secretary]]
|years=[[2015 Officers|2015-2016]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[harry|Harry Fernandez]]}}
{{end}}

[[Category: Members]]
[[Category:Officers]]
[[Category:Booth Chairs]]
[[Category:Defectors]]

Quuxum

2017-03-04T14:41:39Z

Khans:

'''G. Gollinger''' (born 27 April 1978), previous alias '''greg4''', alias '''DrQuuxum''', is a [[KGB]] member of dubious standing since June 2004. She was introduced to the KGB after a lunch heisendate with Jcipa.

Quuxum, despite her usual handle, does not have a doctoral degree. She holds a BS ''Cum Laude'' from [http://www.westminster.edu Westminster College] in Computer Science and Mathematics.

She has been employed as a systems analyst for the [[University of Pittsburgh]] since 2000. She briefly worked in the [[Cathedral of Learning|Phallus of Ignorance]] helping to create a computer lab image, but was soon shipped to be the system administrator of the departments of Physics & Astronomy and Geology & Planetary Science. She dropped Geology in May 2001 and has been solely in Physics & Astronomy ever since.

As Quuxum is not a student activities fee-paying member, she is disqualified from holding an [[exec]] position. However, she has frequently contributed resources (usually her car) for many [[KGB]] activities. This is precisely why she sold so much higher than I did at the 2017 [[Useless People Auction]]. I'm not bitter. At all.

Quuxum owns several committees, including the [[Gratuitous Obscenity Committee]], the [[Ministry of Llama Control]], the [[Zombie Feynman Committee]], the [[Committee To Find or Build a Fucking Theremin]] (with [[gwillen]]), the [[Commitee To Find or Build Glisson a Fish]], [[OMNOMNOMDOMZOMGCOM]], the [[Committee To Suggest Trebuchet Targets]], the [[Committee To Secretly Replace Luke Ravenstahl with jcreed]], and the aptly-named [[Committee To Get DrQuuxum To Buy More Committees To Get Us More Money]].

[[Category:Members]]
[[Category:Defectors]]

Defectors

2017-03-04T14:41:09Z

Khans:

Whenever a [[KGB]] member leaves the organization, whether it be for greener pastures, a paying job, or simply because they've reached [[escape velocity]], they have turned their back on their [[KGB|people]] and become defectors. [[KGB]] loves its defectors dearly, particularly those who donate heavily to the [[Booth]] budget.

All the important defectors are on [[:Category:Defectors|this list]].

To join the defectors list, go to http://www.cmukgb.org/lists/listinfo and enter your email address.

Tbroman

2017-03-04T14:40:52Z

Khans:

Last name must be pronounced as though it is two words, i.e. "Bro Man", as mandated by the [[Brommittee]].

Facts about tbroman (written by [[Bubbles]] in the 9/26/11 meeting):

Tim's favourite color is grey 
Tim listens to NPR 
Tim's favourite show is Law and Order 
Tim's favourite number is 0 
Tim's favourite food is oatmeal 
Tim's favourite song is Greensleeves 
Tim's favourite film is Fargo 
Tim's favourite celebrity is Ben Stein 
Tim is from Wisconsin 
Tim's favourite game is chess

Officer Dossiers:

Recording Secretary, 2011-2012:

Name: Hitmonbro 
Type: Fighting 
Number: 108 
Location: The Hitmonbroes live in monasteries scattered across Wisconsin, studying the arts of fighting, Ultimate Frisbee, and partying. 
Attacks: <ul>
<li>Electrical Safety: boosts defense.</li>
<li>Assassinate: a one-time use, super-effective attack.</li>
<li>Decide: Increases attack.</li>
</ul>
Weaknesses: The Hitmonbro is vulnerable to storm types. In particular, attacks such as Rain and Strong Wind are super-effective.

Written by: [[Mmeyerho|mmeyerho]]

Second Vice President, 2012-2013:

Tim Broman was not born; Tim Broman sprang fully formed out of the head of I0XX9, a robot with strong AI secretly produced in Area 51. Armed with biological components, a complete knowledge of human trivia, and a hat folded from used crossword puzzles, Tim left to study how humans worked. After a dubious incident involving fire and party hats, Tim decided that the human conception of fun was reckless and dangerous. Tim undertook a cleansing of his brain to purge anything related to fun in order to protect himself from future incidents. Since that time, Tim has fairly successfully passed as a human, dodging a few inquiries into his lack of amusing pursuits. Tim can recite all of Robert's Rules of Order backwards and forwards, but never does so in full in fear of breaking his cover.

Written by: [[Mmeyerho|mmeyerho]]

President, 2013-2014:

Our President, Timothy Broman, was first discovered after the vicious Eighteenth SocioBattle of Canticus Nine against the Troll Horde. He was found floating about the ruins with nothing but the clothes on his back and the Sentient Sword of Sound Judgement, a family heirloom capable of defeating the sharpest of wits with centuries-old, well-honed arguments. The scavenger priests who found him saw a greatness in him that had not been sensed in millennia; his training began immediately. After many long, harsh years of discipline and seasoning, Broman emerged a Warrior of Wordplay. His time on Earth is simply the next stage of his training; his graduation from Carnegie Mellon University will herald the final battle between Broman and the Troll Horde, bringing the dawn of a new era of peace and prosperity for the entire galactic sector. Until then, he leads our meetings with verve and vigor.

Written by: [[mnabraha|mnabraha]] and [[mwoolfor|mwoolfor]]

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[twright|Thomas Wright]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Recording Secretary]]
|years=[[2011 Officers|2011-2012]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[Xander|Xander Orenstein]]}}
|-
{{s-bef|before=[[tvaughan|Tim Vaughan]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Second Vice President]]
|years=[[2012 Officers|2012-2013]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[Jrettere|JRAM]]}}
|-
{{s-bef|before=[[aleibowi|Adam "Bubbles" Leibowitz]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[President]]
|years=[[2013 Officers|2013-2014]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[Marlena|Marlena Abraham]]}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Officers]]
[[Category:Minutes Wanker]]
[[Category:Booth Chairs]]
[[Category:Defectors]]

Mwoolfor

2017-03-04T14:40:26Z

Khans:

Currently known as "Mike", "WoofLord", or "The Lord of Woofs" they have been known to spin paper into people, with terrifying results.

Sergeant at Arms, 2013-2014:

Mike was an adventurous time travel without a backup plan: one ticket there, no ticket back. After wandering the darkest caves and deepest trenches the world could offer, Mike began the long quest of befriending the creatures that lived there. Years passed before Mike emerged followed by a legion of deep dwellers; the army began its march with a fierce determination to take over the world. It should be noted that this was not because of some grand villainous quest, rather because hey, what the hell else are you supposed to do with a legion? Dubbed The Wooflord, Mike, riding on the back of a gargantuan wolf turtle, led the minion horde to a long-lost portal. For some time after that, they traveled the time stream, failing to conquer much of anything. That’s when Mike discovered the field of physics and the immense power it could bestow upon they who could reveal its secrets. Now bent on universal domination, Mike launched into the new quest of becoming a PhD and discovering Faster Than Light travel. In the meantime, Mike uses their nanosized minions to keep order in the KGB. No, of course the minions aren’t watching you. Move along citizen.

Second Vice President, 2014-2015:

Class: Sorcerer

Race: Half-orc

Patron Deity: Moradin

Origin: Boston

Residence: Watchtower

Level: 5

Alignment: Chaotic Good

STR: 14

DEX: 7

CON: 8

INT: 17

WIS: 16

CHA: 14

Fortitude: 1

Reflex: 2

Will: 8

Initiative: 9

Speed: 15

Skills:
Build / 2 pillars

Profession(Biophysics) / 12 bugs in space

Knowledge(X-Men) / 1970s
First aid / 5 ace bandages

Special:
Spell: Teleport

Spell: False life

Spell: Pyrotechnics

Inventory:

Tablet

Tollerblades

Bracelets

7 Broken Chargers

[strike]Phone[/strike]

Written by: [[mnabraha|mnabraha]] and [[mwoolfor|mwoolfor]]

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[mnabraha|Marlena Abraham]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2013 Officers|2013-2014]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[afrieder|Alex Frieder]]}}
|-
{{s-bef|before=[[jrettere|John "JRAM" Retterer-Moore]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Second Vice President]]
|years=[[2014 Officers|2014-2015]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[jlareau|Dillon Lareau]]}}
|-
{{s-bef|before=[[mnabraha|Marlena Abraham]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[President]]
|years=[[2015 Officers|2015-2016]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$PRESIDENT}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]]
[[Category:Defectors]]
[[Category:Officers]]
[[Category:Mad Scientists]]
[[Category:Michaels]]

Bwachowi

2017-03-04T14:40:01Z

Khans:

'''Brian Wachowicz''' was once a simple anthropologist. After a harrowing incident with a sausage making machine, he is now a complex anthropologist.

Once predicted [[sacunnin|Steven's]] death and warned him in time so that he would only break his neck and spine.

See [[I'm Brian]].

[[Category:Members]]
[[Category:Defectors]]

Cmorey

2017-03-04T14:39:43Z

Khans:

'''Craig Morey''' was a [[booth chair]] in 2016. He was also known for his duct tape jacket, which was very inconspicuous.

See also: [[Ted Cruz]]

[[Category: Booth Chairs]]
[[Category: Members]]
[[Category: Defectors]]

Egarbade

2017-03-04T14:39:19Z

Khans:

Also responds to Egarblade. If he doesn't, he damn well should.

[[Category:Members]]
[[Category:Current Members]]
[[Category:Defectors]]

Jthreefo

2017-03-04T14:37:25Z

Khans:

'''Jane Threefoot'''

Does not actually have three feet.

[[Category: Members]]
[[Category: Defectors]]

Useless People Auction

2017-03-04T14:36:51Z

Khans: moved Useless people auction to Useless People Auction: Capitalization is capital

=The Event as it Stands Today=
Formerly known as the salve auction, the [[useless people auction]] is an annual [[:category:events|event]] at which [[KGB]] auctions off its [[members]]. Traditionally, [[members]] volunteer to auction six hours of their time to the buyer and can designate someone to outbid anyone they don't want to be bought by. [[KGB]] does not want to know what you do with your useless people.

Frequently, in addition to listing things they can do, useless people encourage people to increase bids by doing tricks, such as push-ups and headstands. In one memorable auction, two groups kept outbidding one another to purchase [[gwillen]]. One group would increase its bid in exchange for [[gwillen]] removing his shirt, and the other would increase its bid when he put it back on.

=The History=
The auction was originally instantiated as a [[KGB]] [[:category:events|event]] in the days of [[yore]]. It was not repeated until the 2001/2002 academic year, where it proved to be a ludicrously successful means for separating [[KGB]] [[members]] from their money. For two years, the auction (under the name Salve Auction) garnered substantial funds for the [[KGB|organization]]'s [[Booth]].

In the 2003/2004 academic year, the event generated considerable controversy. A group of [[hippies|"concerned students"]] complained, composing an email to the [[KGB]]. They found the premise of auctioning salves, often marketed to dark-skinned people for use as skin lighteners, offensive to people of color. Part of the response stemmed from the accidental scheduling of the event for the same week as Martin Luther King Jr. Day, creating far more offense than was intended.

In recognition of the legitimate claim of offense due to the unfortunate timing, the [[KGB|organization]] decided to change the name of the event, over a vigorous and vociferous dissent (many members were unwilling to acquiesce to what they saw as an unreasonable demand). The name for the event that year was the [[THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK]] Auction.

During the event, the [[KGB|organization]] was treated to a silent protest during [[lmarsh]]'s provocative and lucrative auction. Subsequently, the [[Tartan]] published a Letter to the Editor complaining about the objectification and implicit discrimination inherent in such an event. The article contained numerous errors, and elicited a response from [[ykhodor]] in the following week's letters to the editor. The follow-up was accompanied by a retraction from the [[Tartan]].

Verily, all were pleased by this result. Except for those who were offended in the first place and except for the [[Tartan]], the editors of which were subsequently [[Pants of the Revolution|crucified]] on a [[cross of their own inattention]].

Subsequent revision changed the name of the event to its present form: The Useless People Auction. This presented various pleasing synergies with KGB's long-standing [[Useless Stuff Auction]].

=2011 controversy=
In the 2011 Useless People Auction, scandal presented itself to the offense of several attendees. Several of them had applied corrosive or "stripping" salves that caused considerable pain to their rear ends, necessitating a review of the procedures of the auction.

[[Exec]] elected to hold a [[Bylaws#Section_2._Special_Organization_Meetings|Special Organization Meeting]] to discuss possible changes to the format and/or procedures of the Auction. The decision was made not to inform Defectors of this meeting before it was held.

[[sk4p]] posted to the [[bboard]], dispelling any and all cloaks or daggers that might have otherwise been attracted to the meeting. A mostly polite flamewar erupted regarding the propriety of said disclosure, handily vanquishing what might otherwise have been a productive morning.

The conclusions reached were as follows: those auctioning themselves off have the right to create formulations that may cause skin irritation, but will never be explicitly encouraged to create corrosive formulas. Auctionees should avoid demonstrating a sample of the product while up for bid. In addition, a duo of auctioneers will be tried, for the purpose of checks-and-balances and also to relieve the pressures of having to stand and talk for hours and hours. All members are encouraged to keep it classy. With this in mind, a popular opinion at the Special Meeting was to come dressed up in suits and dresses, to demonstrate the effects of nourishing, non-corrosive salves on the skin. The unofficial and unauthorized addition of [[Rule Phi]] can be traced back to this event.

Further details can be found in the [[Special Meeting Minutes20110221|minutes from the Special Meeting]].

[[category:Events]]
[[category:stories]]

Useless people auction

2017-03-04T14:36:51Z

Khans: moved Useless people auction to Useless People Auction: Capitalization is capital

#REDIRECT [[Useless People Auction]]

Quuxum

2017-03-04T14:35:22Z

Khans:

'''G. Gollinger''' (born 27 April 1978), previous alias '''greg4''', alias '''DrQuuxum''', is a [[KGB]] member of dubious standing since June 2004. She was introduced to the KGB after a lunch [[heisendate]] with [[Jcipa]].

Quuxum, despite her usual handle, does not have a doctoral degree. She holds a BS ''Cum Laude'' from [http://www.westminster.edu Westminster College] in Computer Science and Mathematics.

She has been employed as a systems analyst for the [[University of Pittsburgh]] since 2000. She briefly worked in the [[Cathedral of Learning|Phallus of Ignorance]] helping to create a computer lab image, but was soon shipped to be the system administrator of the departments of Physics & Astronomy and Geology & Planetary Science. She dropped Geology in May 2001 and has been solely in Physics & Astronomy ever since.

As Quuxum is not a [[student activities fee]]-paying member, she is disqualified from holding an [[exec]] position. However, she has frequently contributed resources (usually her car) for many [[KGB]] activities. This is precisely why she sold so much higher than I did at the 2017 [[Useless People Auction]]. I'm not bitter. At all.

Quuxum owns several committees, including the [[Gratuitous Obscenity Committee]], the [[Ministry of Llama Control]], the [[Zombie Feynman Committee]], the [[Committee To Find or Build a Fucking Theremin]] (with [[gwillen]]), the [[Commitee To Find or Build Glisson a Fish]], [[OMNOMNOMDOMZOMGCOM]], the [[Committee To Suggest Trebuchet Targets]], the [[Committee To Secretly Replace Luke Ravenstahl with jcreed]], and the aptly-named [[Committee To Get DrQuuxum To Buy More Committees To Get Us More Money]].

[[Category:Members]]

Quuxum

2017-03-04T14:32:58Z

Khans: moved Greg4 to Quuxum over redirect: This is a more ubiquitous name.

'''G. Gollinger''' (born 27 April 1978), alias '''greg4''', alias '''DrQuuxum''', is a [[KGB]] member of dubious standing since June 2004. He was introduced to the KGB after a lunch [[heisendate]] with [[Jcipa]].

Quuxum, despite his usual handle, does not have a doctoral degree. He holds a BS ''Cum Laude'' from [http://www.westminster.edu Westminster College] in Computer Science and Mathematics.

He has been employed as a systems analyst for the [[University of Pittsburgh]] since 2000. He briefly worked in the [[Cathedral of Learning|Phallus of Ignorance]] helping to create a computer lab image, but was soon shipped to be the system administrator of the departments of Physics & Astronomy and Geology & Planetary Science. He dropped Geology in May 2001 and has been solely in Physics & Astronomy ever since.

As Quuxum is not a [[student activities fee]]-paying member, he is disqualified from holding an [[exec]] position. However, he has frequently contributed resources (usually his car) for many [[KGB]] activities.

Quuxum owns several committees, including the [[Gratuitous Obscenity Committee]], the [[Ministry of Llama Control]], the [[Zombie Feynman Committee]], the [[Committee To Find or Build a Fucking Theremin]] (with [[gwillen]]), the [[Commitee To Find or Build Glisson a Fish]], [[OMNOMNOMDOMZOMGCOM]], the [[Committee To Suggest Trebuchet Targets]], the [[Committee To Secretly Replace Luke Ravenstahl with jcreed]], and the aptly-named [[Committee To Get DrQuuxum To Buy More Committees To Get Us More Money]].

[[Category:Members]]

Greg4

2017-03-04T14:32:58Z

Khans: moved Greg4 to Quuxum over redirect: This is a more ubiquitous name.

#REDIRECT [[Quuxum]]

Vik

2016-11-08T04:01:25Z

Khans:

'''Vikrant Misra''' is [[Rauen]]'s archnemesis. Most apathetic zombie in existence. Dawn of the dead? More like noon.

Literally the most non-threatening person you will meet. Except [[Kirn]]. She doesn't care enough to compete. And penguins. No one can be less threatening than a penguin.

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]]

Vik

2016-10-03T22:02:49Z

Khans: Created page with "'''Vikrant Misra''' is Rauen's archnemesis. Most apathetic zombie in existence. Dawn of the dead? More like noon. Literally the most non-threatening person you will meet...."

SamSR

2016-10-03T14:44:41Z

Khans:

'''Sam SR''' is a [[Zombies]] power player. Just ask to see his special Nerf trigger. He's really good at constructing things like that. That's how we almost fixed a broken ladder. And how so much of [[Octodad]] got built.

He is also highly invested in the meta-purpose of [[Capture the Flag with Stuff]]. And [[ITR]]. And [[booth]]. And - okay, he's invested in a lot of things, alright?

Sam's a good guy.

See also: [[It's a good idea!]]

[[Category: Members]]
[[Category: Current Members]]

Joy

2016-10-03T14:33:49Z

Khans:

'''Joy Alice Gu''' is known for her unflappable demeanor and her ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ attitude. And also for not taking risks that could endanger her welfare. Maybe.
[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]]

Ian

2016-10-01T03:14:24Z

Khans: I swear Ian and Harry endorsed this.

'''Ian Griswold'''. Discount version of [[Harry]]. Now available in colors other than rainbow.

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]]

Michael

2016-09-30T20:27:36Z

Khans:

A common first name.

Members who have that name (and frequently don't use it!) include:
[[Rntz]], [[Sully]], [[Klipper]], [[Misha]]

[[Category:Michaels]]

Fable

2016-09-30T20:27:04Z

Khans: Created page with "'''Michael Quinn''' joined the legion of Michaels in his junior year. He is an artist and is working on a set of exec portraits. Can confirm, they look good. He also gran..."

'''Michael Quinn''' joined the legion of [[Michael]]s in his junior year. He is an artist and is working on a set of exec portraits. Can confirm, they look good.

He also granted the "Monty Hally Trolley Prolley" its name.

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Michaels]]

Cam

2016-09-30T20:14:26Z

Khans: Created page with "'''Cameron James Wong''' is an enterprising freshman. Good when you want to take the Fence. Category:MembersCategory:Current Members"

'''Cameron James Wong''' is an enterprising freshman. Good when you want to take the Fence.

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]]

Rauen

2016-09-30T20:12:46Z

Khans: Created page with "'''Nick Rauen''', commonly known by his last name, likes to emphasize how tall he is as a way of dismissing his elders. It's effective. Mostly. Category:Members[[Category..."

'''Nick Rauen''', commonly known by his last name, likes to emphasize how tall he is as a way of dismissing his elders. It's effective. Mostly.

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]]

X

2016-09-30T20:11:10Z

Khans:

'''X''', also known as '''Xinyu Wu''', was given her name by [[sctoor]]. Names are easy to mangle and X likes being a letter.

She is most commonly known for insisting that she is not overloading on classes and awing the rest of us with her intelligence. And her ability to apparently understand [[Category Theory]].

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]]

X

2016-09-30T20:08:57Z

Khans: Created page with "'''X''', also known as '''Xinyu Wang''', was given her name by sctoor. Names are easy to mangle and X likes being a letter. She is most commonly known for insisting that ..."

'''X''', also known as '''Xinyu Wang''', was given her name by [[sctoor]]. Names are easy to mangle and X likes being a letter.

She is most commonly known for insisting that she is not overloading on classes and awing the rest of us with her intelligence. And her ability to understand [[Category Theory]].

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]]

Joy

2016-09-30T20:06:05Z

Khans:

'''Joy Alice Gu''' is known for her unflappable demeanor. And also for not taking risks that could endanger her welfare. Maybe.
[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]]

Joy

2016-09-30T20:04:26Z

Khans: Created page with "''Joy Alice Gu'' is known for her unflappable demeanor. And also for not taking risks that could endanger her welfare. Maybe."

''Joy Alice Gu'' is known for her unflappable demeanor. And also for not taking risks that could endanger her welfare. Maybe.

Kirn

2016-09-30T19:58:59Z

Khans: moved Khans to Kirn: The era of the andrew-id is over.

'''Kirn Hans''' (pronounced "<strike>Kern</strike> <strike>Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeern</strike> <strike>Kearn</strike> <strike>Krin</strike> Key-run") is, despite her protests, easily the most innocent member of the [[KGB]]. She is frequently surprised at how white and/or tall people are and likes to announce this thoughtfully.

Oh my God, Kirn, you can't just ask people why they're white.

[She refuses to respond to "kurn" and will simply ignore anyone who tries to talk to her using that pronunciation. This is actually something she cares about because every. single. person. does it and she considers her name to be an integral part of her identity that gets too easily erased in American assimilation.]

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]]

Khans

2016-09-30T19:58:59Z

Khans: moved Khans to Kirn: The era of the andrew-id is over.

#REDIRECT [[Kirn]]

SamSR

2016-09-30T13:41:25Z

Khans:

'''Sam SR''' is a [[Zombies]] power player. Just ask to see his special Nerf trigger.

See also: [[It's a good idea!]]

[[Category: Members]]
[[Category: Current Members]]

SamSR

2016-09-30T13:38:17Z

Khans: moved Ssharera to SamSR

'''Sam A Share-Raab'''

[[Category: Members]]
[[Category: Current Members]]

Ssharera

2016-09-30T13:38:17Z

Khans: moved Ssharera to SamSR

#REDIRECT [[SamSR]]

Cmorey

2016-09-30T13:32:15Z

Khans:

Mvarner

2016-09-30T13:19:33Z

Khans:

User:Hfernand

2016-09-30T13:11:47Z

Khans: Red links make me sad

#redirect [[Harry]]

Nmorin

2016-09-30T13:08:50Z

Khans:

'''Nick Morin''' is a typically green-haired individual of intense gaze and firm stances. They even approach [[sctoor]] in terms of intimidation when friends are involved. Do not mess with our Mama Bear. They will shrug on their recently acquired leather jacket and destroy you. And then take the wounded friend to the Kremlin to bake cookies.

[[Category: Members]]
[[Category: Current Members]]

Category Theory

2016-09-14T23:06:10Z

Khans: Created page with "Best explained on the whiteboard of R7. While drunk. See Jpdoyle."

Best explained on the whiteboard of R7. While drunk.

See [[Jpdoyle]].

Minutes20160905

2016-09-14T11:49:53Z

Khans: I believe this is what Rin said to Murphy. Also this meme must never die.

OFFICER REPORTS
SKYE
The event was fun and delicious
Went to Kennywood! RIP Phone 2015-2016
DYLAN
Watched movies (just kidding shit exploded. literally)
We have new people!
MURPHY
Began with the event
Saw a shit ton of bands
There were goats
We have an event! (I'll describe it later that trend is going to be a thing okay exec???)
RIN
ZOOTOPIA AHHHHHHH
Made a readme
HARRY
Event and furries
JOE
(actually was Shelby)
NIKA
Was betrayed by Murphy and the goats

COMMITTEE REPORTS
Apparently we're not students
We have a party! It's R7
Roselawn Terrace 7
7PM on Saturday
Message Dylan or Murphy
Wigglytuff: noooooooo
Salute everybody!
Everyone is sick
Queer-y
Je suis desoléééé Tim! (Eyyy Tim)

OLD BUSINESS
Quinn has the thing
Scott Pilgrim references are not their fault
No old business!

NEW BUSINESS
Motion to create a business founded in 1851
It passed
Sold to Brian $1
Chaired by everyone who remembers what committee we're in
I just thought of this neat pun committee
rip
I just thought of this neat pun committee
I don't know Steven, what would be its purpose?
We got onto a stack tangent
It failed
Fuck you Brian (that was kinda cool though)
What's going on I don't understand
Saying I just woke up five minutes ago whether or not this is true
WAKE ME UP INSIDE
BAKE ME UP A PIE
OVENESCENCE
KGB IS ON FIRE
It passed
Sold to Shelby for $3
Chaired by Samuel Collingwood Smith
Slightly intolerable pedantry committee
Is that even a real thing
Yes?
Crush Joe
We are now in purple
It passed?
Sold to Quinn for $2
Chaired by the accidental firing of the bottom of their stack modus?
Flashling lights and funny hand signals committee
OH NO YOU'VE BEEN SPOOKED BY THE GHOST OF EXPENSIVE COMMITEES UPVOTE RIGHT NOW OR NEVER BUY COMMITTEES AGAIN
It passed
Sold to Murphy for $2
Chaired by everyone who can bid on committees now
Running jumping climbing trees committee
Stalin'est emo
It failed
Motion to untable all old business
Tim don't graduate committee
Motion to table indefinitely
It passed
Goodbye
Committee to investigate why homeless people only drink coffee
Classism
Committee to see how long we can say nothing without taking another breath
Sold to Steven for $2
Disbanded
Spoontinoodigus committee
My hat was good
You can't survive off rabbit meat
Passed
Sold to Murphy for $3
Chaired by spoontinoodigous committee
Coughing into your elbow looks like a dab
*Cough dab*
We all look like vampires
It failed
Why is the KGB so invested in the DC character, The Question
Sonia memorial appreciation committee
Making sure no committee ever passes again
It passed
Sold to Owen for $4
Chaired by everybody
Tell Sam where KGB is today
KGB is in Breed Hall
Don't exceed $150 for the event
It passed
Sex number committee
Heehee 420
It passed
Sold to Joe for $1
Chaired by Steven's butt
Committee to table chairs forever
Pretty much that
Tabled forever
Celebrate the end of the reign of the millenials in the Zootopia
Chief Justice Dumbledore is no longer a thing
It passed
Sold to Joe for $1
Chaired by all the millenials/snake people
REAL RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS
Underground Tour
Friday, 7PM UC Black Chairs
Email Murphy if you want to help
Come to Exec Meetings
UC 306 Tuesdays at 5:30
Pay your dues
We get dinner after this, come chill
SHMUCKS
We still have R7
Sonia is teaching weapons for the uprising
Why did Murphy go up instead of down?
GTFO

7

2016-07-30T06:21:52Z

Khans:

STOP ASKING ABOUT THE NUMBER 7
[[Category:Inside jokes]]

7

2016-07-30T06:20:48Z

Khans: Created page with "STOP ASKING ABOUT THE NUMBER 7"

STOP ASKING ABOUT THE NUMBER 7