KGB Wiki - User contributions [en]

2018 Officers

2025-12-09T20:07:50Z

Ngaynor:

President - [[ian|Ian Griswold]] (April - February) / [[dhreed|Dez Reed]] (March - April)

First Vice President - [[dhreed|Dez Reed]] (April - March) / [[Cam|Cameron Wong]] (March - April)

Second Vice President - [[Kate|Kate Krakopolsky]]

Corresponding Secretary - [[eseeser|Ellen Seeser]]

Recording Secretary - [[Janny|Janny]]

Treasurer - [[Aren|Aren Davey]] (April - March) / [[Rauen|Nick Rauen]] (March - April)

Sergeant at Arms - [[mfy|Mitchell Yang]]

{{start box}}
{{succession box|title=[[2018 Officers]]|before=[[2017 Officers]]|after=[[2019 Officers]]}}
{{end box}}

[[category:Officers]]

2019 Officers

2025-12-09T20:07:37Z

Ngaynor:

President - [[dhreed|Dez Reed]]

First Vice President - [[Janny|Janny]] (April - December) / [[kmcarpen|Kaylie Carpenter]] (January - April)

Second Vice President - [[mfy|Mitchell Yang]]

Corresponding Secretary - [[mckennab|Mckenna Brown]]

Recording Secretary - [[mwmccoy|Woody McCoy]]

Treasurer - [[jamesbyr|James Byrne]]

Sergeant at Arms - [[kdulla|Kushal Dulla]]

{{start box}}
{{succession box|title=[[2019 Officers]]|before=[[2018 Officers]]|after=[[2020 Officers]]}}
{{end box}}

[[category:Officers]]

Magic

2025-11-22T16:40:41Z

Ngaynor: Created page with "'''Magic''' is real."

'''Magic''' is real.

Pilk

2025-11-18T03:11:30Z

Ngaynor: Created page with "'''Pilk''' is a holy beverage created upon the mixture of Pepsi and Milk. KGB sometimes likes to drink Pilk at events. According to dkogan2, there are three rules of pilk..."

'''Pilk''' is a holy beverage created upon the mixture of Pepsi and Milk. KGB sometimes likes to drink Pilk at events.

According to [[dkogan2]], there are three rules of pilk, stated thus:

1. Don't be Greedy

2. Use a Separate Vessel

3. You Must Cry over Spilled Pilk

These rules can guide prospective Pilk drinkers on their journey.

[[Farnam Jahanian]] has drank Pilk.

Grcoons

2025-11-18T00:34:09Z

Ngaynor:

'''Georgia Coons''' is a person, hopefully.
{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[rtosh|rtosh]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]] (Nov-)}}
{{s-aft|after=$1VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Rtosh

2025-11-18T00:33:58Z

Ngaynor:

'''rtosh''' is a person. They often make regrettable decisions, which they rarely regret. Their interests include international relations and political science; political science, security, and technology; biology; chemistry; physics; mathematical science; pre-med; russian studies; computer science; electrical and computer engineering; technical writing; information security; social and political history; gender studies; and student-defined. This is definitely not just a list of every major which they have at one point considered declaring.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===ONEVeep, 2025-2026===
By painting the fence 7146 times, rtosh has made it clear they have no boundaries when it comes to outreach, making them a perfect OneVeep. rtosh’s various activities have led some to believe that they and CMU campus are one, or that they are a physical manifestation of the spirit of campus. Whatever the truth is, all that matters is their ability to lead unsuspecting students into ̶s̶t̶e̶a̶ KGB meetings.

===Treasurer, 2024-2025 (September-April)===
Rtosh was not democratically elected, which will be important experience for their future plans. They can easily remember the words to get people to throw coins at them, but cannot as easily remember the words to make them stop.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[noahking|Noah King]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025 (Sep-Apr)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]] (Apr-Nov)}}
{{s-aft|after=[[Grcoons|Georgia Coons]]}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Rtosh

2025-11-18T00:32:31Z

Ngaynor:

'''rtosh''' is a person. They often make regrettable decisions, which they rarely regret. Their interests include international relations and political science; political science, security, and technology; biology; chemistry; physics; mathematical science; pre-med; russian studies; computer science; electrical and computer engineering; technical writing; information security; social and political history; gender studies; and student-defined. This is definitely not just a list of every major which they have at one point considered declaring.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===ONEVeep, 2025-2026===
By painting the fence 7146 times, rtosh has made it clear they have no boundaries when it comes to outreach, making them a perfect OneVeep. rtosh’s various activities have led some to believe that they and CMU campus are one, or that they are a physical manifestation of the spirit of campus. Whatever the truth is, all that matters is their ability to lead unsuspecting students into ̶s̶t̶e̶a̶ KGB meetings.

===Treasurer, 2024-2025 (September-April)===
Rtosh was not democratically elected, which will be important experience for their future plans. They can easily remember the words to get people to throw coins at them, but cannot as easily remember the words to make them stop.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[noahking|Noah King]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025 (Sep-Apr)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]] (Apr-Nov)}}
{{s-aft|after=1VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Rtosh

2025-11-18T00:32:19Z

Ngaynor:

'''rtosh''' is a person. They often make regrettable decisions, which they rarely regret. Their interests include international relations and political science; political science, security, and technology; biology; chemistry; physics; mathematical science; pre-med; russian studies; computer science; electrical and computer engineering; technical writing; information security; social and political history; gender studies; and student-defined. This is definitely not just a list of every major which they have at one point considered declaring.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===ONEVeep, 2025-2026===
By painting the fence 7146 times, rtosh has made it clear they have no boundaries when it comes to outreach, making them a perfect OneVeep. rtosh’s various activities have led some to believe that they and CMU campus are one, or that they are a physical manifestation of the spirit of campus. Whatever the truth is, all that matters is their ability to lead unsuspecting students into ̶s̶t̶e̶a̶ KGB meetings.

===Treasurer, 2024-2025 (September-April)===
Rtosh was not democratically elected, which will be important experience for their future plans. They can easily remember the words to get people to throw coins at them, but cannot as easily remember the words to make them stop.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[noahking|Noah King]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025 (Sep-Apr)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]] (Apr-Nov}}
{{s-aft|after=1VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Grcoons

2025-11-18T00:30:57Z

Ngaynor:

'''Georgia Coons''' is a person, hopefully.
{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[rtosh|rtosh]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]] (November-)}}
{{s-aft|after=$1VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Rtosh

2025-11-17T19:46:08Z

Ngaynor:

'''rtosh''' is a person. They often make regrettable decisions, which they rarely regret. Their interests include international relations and political science; political science, security, and technology; biology; chemistry; physics; mathematical science; pre-med; russian studies; computer science; electrical and computer engineering; technical writing; information security; social and political history; gender studies; and student-defined. This is definitely not just a list of every major which they have at one point considered declaring.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===ONEVeep, 2025-2026===
By painting the fence 7146 times, rtosh has made it clear they have no boundaries when it comes to outreach, making them a perfect OneVeep. rtosh’s various activities have led some to believe that they and CMU campus are one, or that they are a physical manifestation of the spirit of campus. Whatever the truth is, all that matters is their ability to lead unsuspecting students into ̶s̶t̶e̶a̶ KGB meetings.

===Treasurer, 2024-2025 (September-April)===
Rtosh was not democratically elected, which will be important experience for their future plans. They can easily remember the words to get people to throw coins at them, but cannot as easily remember the words to make them stop.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[noahking|Noah King]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025 (Sep-Apr)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=1VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Rtosh

2025-11-17T19:44:17Z

Ngaynor:

'''rtosh''' is a person. They often make regrettable decisions, which they rarely regret. Their interests include international relations and political science; political science, security, and technology; biology; chemistry; physics; mathematical science; pre-med; russian studies; computer science; electrical and computer engineering; technical writing; information security; social and political history; gender studies; and student-defined. This is definitely not just a list of every major which they have at one point considered declaring.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===ONEVeep, 2025-2026===
By painting the fence 7146 times, Ryan has made it clear he has no boundaries when it comes to outreach, making him a perfect OneVeep. Ryan’s various activities have led some to believe that he and CMU campus are one, or that he is a physical manifestation of the spirit of campus. Whatever the truth is, all that matters is his ability to lead unsuspecting students into ̶s̶t̶e̶a̶ KGB meetings.

===Treasurer, 2024-2025 (September-April)===
Rtosh was not democratically elected, which will be important experience for their future plans. They can easily remember the words to get people to throw coins at them, but cannot as easily remember the words to make them stop.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[noahking|Noah King]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025 (Sep-Apr)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=1VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

2024 Officers

2025-11-17T19:43:34Z

Ngaynor:

President - [[djyin|Daniel Yin]]

First Vice President - [[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]

Second Vice President - [[eplin|Teddy Lin]]

Corresponding Secretary - [[ngaynor|Nathan Gaynor]]

Recording Secretary - [[jholz|Julia Holz]]

Treasurer - [[noahking|Noah King]] (April - August) / [[rtosh]] (September - April)

Sergeant at Arms - [[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]

{{start box}}
{{succession box|title=[[2024 Officers]]|before=[[2023 Officers]]|after=[[2025 Officers]]}}
{{end box}}

[[category:Officers]]

Grcoons

2025-11-17T19:37:55Z

Ngaynor:

'''Georgia Coons''' is a person, hopefully.

Grcoons

2025-11-17T19:37:39Z

Ngaynor:

'''Georgie Coons''' is a person, hopefully.

Grcoons

2025-11-17T19:37:12Z

Ngaynor: Created page with "‘’’Georgia Coons’’’ is a person, hopefully."

‘’’Georgia Coons’’’ is a person, hopefully.

2025 Officers

2025-11-17T19:36:07Z

Ngaynor:

President - [[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]

First Vice President - [[rtosh|rtosh]] (April - November) / [[grcoons|Georgia Coons]] (November-)

Second Vice President - [[djyin|Daniel Yin]]

Corresponding Secretary - [[ngaynor|Nathan Gaynor]]

Recording Secretary - [[savithrb|Savi Bhat]]

Treasurer - [[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]

Sergeant at Arms - [[noahking|Noah King]]

{{start box}}
{{succession box|title=[[2025 Officers]]|before=[[2024 Officers]]|after=[[2026 Officers]]}}
{{end box}}

[[category:Officers]]

Sharknado

2025-10-08T03:17:47Z

Ngaynor:

[[KGB]]'s [[2024 Officers|2025]] [[Booth]], made in collaboration with PRISM. The [[Carnival]] theme was "Hollywood". Turns out this just means specific movie themed booths, so our first choice idea of a movie set was promptly rejected. We instead went with one of modern cinema's greatest achievements: the Sharknado franchise. Our chairs for this year were [[jpwang2]], [[klhansen]], [[marinaw]], and [[eplin]], who led us to win 3rd place in the Blitz category.

The booth featured vibrant and chaotic murals depicting sharknado chaos across the globe, including in Pittsburgh. On top of the booth, there was a large shark head made of paper mache and a tornado made of chicken wire and plastic bags. Inside the booth was a long hallway with sharks swimming around and trash on the walls. At the turn, a visitor would then enter into a shark's mouth to play the game.

Thanks to the diligent research of [[ngaynor]], the booth included many plot points from all 6 Sharknado films. Most notably, a big space laser used to stop the sharknados in Sharknado 3.

The video game, made by [[eplin]] was about sharknados hitting the CMU campus. Using Wii remotes, this two player game saw players take up a gun or a chainsaw to fight their way across campus to activate a space laser controller in [[Hamerschlag]]. [[isaacw]] composed the music for the game, which was based on the Sharknado theme song, "The Ballad of Sharknado" which is featured in the opening credits of most Sharknado films.

Somehow, the computer and projector for the game were left unprotected in the booth, both of which were destroyed from the water damage on the first night of carnival. This led KGB to scramble for a new computer and projector before midway opened and the judges came.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[The Dino Game (Booth)]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Booth]]|years=2025}}
{{s-aft|after=$BOOTH}}
{{end}}
[[Category:Booth]]

Noahking

2025-09-22T23:57:04Z

Ngaynor:

'''Noah King''' is the person who wrote this sentence. He is a big fan of tomato products and sugar, but not ketchup.

Noah is from Kansas. The mountainous terrain and large buildings in Pittsburgh scare him.

Noah was voted "Most Likely to Take Over the World" in his senior year of high school. They were correct.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===Sergeant at Arms, 2025-2026===
After his short reign as treasurer, Noah decided there was nothing he regretted more than leaving KGB exec, so he has come back with less responsibility in his name. Does this mean he can cause greater havoc without drawing attention to himself? Perchance.

===Treasurer, 2024===
Although Noah's time as treasurer was short, he will be forever remembered both in our hearts and the records of the KGB Wiki.

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]
{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[skroneme|Theo Kronemer]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]] (Apr - Jun)}}
{{s-aft|after=[[rtosh|Ryan Tosh]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=S@A}}
{{end}}

Noahking

2025-09-22T23:56:52Z

Ngaynor:

'''Noah King''' is the person who wrote this sentence. He is a big fan of tomato products and sugar, but not ketchup.

Noah is from Kansas. The mountainous terrain and large buildings in Pittsburgh scare him.

Noah was voted "Most Likely to Take Over the World" in his senior year of high school. They were correct.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===Treasurer, 2024===
Although Noah's time as treasurer was short, he will be forever remembered both in our hearts and the records of the KGB Wiki.

===Sergeant at Arms, 2025-2026===
After his short reign as treasurer, Noah decided there was nothing he regretted more than leaving KGB exec, so he has come back with less responsibility in his name. Does this mean he can cause greater havoc without drawing attention to himself? Perchance.

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]
{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[skroneme|Theo Kronemer]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]] (Apr - Jun)}}
{{s-aft|after=[[rtosh|Ryan Tosh]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=S@A}}
{{end}}

Isaacw

2025-09-22T23:56:22Z

Ngaynor:

'''Isaac Williamson''' is a person who hasn't updated their bio.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===Treasurer===
Despite not really knowing what he was running for, Isaac has been elected KGB’s treasurer. He says that “some things gotta be learned on the job,” and who are we to disagree? As KGB’s resident cryptid expert, Isaac says that a little mole man called “the fleckler” helps him manage our finances. As long as the bills get paid, we don’t care how the job gets done.

===Sergeant at Arms, 2024-2025===
Isaac managed to win the vote to become the Sergeant at Arms, an outcome he did not fully anticipate. He says he will rise to this task, and attempt to grow at least 2 more arms. We wish him luck in the endeavor and will continue to monitor his insectification.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[noahking|Noah King]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[rtosh|Ryan Tosh]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$$$$}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Savithrb

2025-09-22T23:55:20Z

Ngaynor:

'''Savi Bhat''' is a person who hasn't updated their bio.
==Officer Dossiers:==

===Recsec, 2025-2026===
Savi is our first new RecSec in 3 years, and she swears that she will fill the large shoes left for her by dedicating herself to 15 hours of typing practice every day. Some may note this leaves Savi only 9 hours a day to sleep, eat, and study. She has proved them wrong by typing at relativistic speeds, bending spacetime to her will.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[Jholz|Julia Holz]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Recording Secretary]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$RECSEC}}
{{end}}
[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Ngaynor

2025-09-22T23:54:24Z

Ngaynor:

'''Nathan Gaynor''' is a person is known to do many things. He is also known for the creation of [[The Spellbook]]
==Officer Dossiers:==

===Corsec, 2025-2026===
Using the good ol’ "mayonnaise on the table” strategy, Nathan has secured himself as CorSec for a second year. Nathan denies any use of magic in this vote, however some speculate he was in the possession of uranium stolen from the Physics department. Despite having no time for anything outside of school, he has promised an even greater Pravda? output. If this is physically possible is yet to be seen.

===Corsec, 2024-2025===
Nathan has somehow made time to be KGB’s Corsec. Forever trapped in BXA purgatory and imprisoned by the CFA practice rooms, he can be busy. However, he assures the general body that Pravda and newsletters will always come out on time and that all emails will be sent professiionaly and wihtout errors . Nathan will continue to serve KGB during school breaks at his island home on the [[Principality of Sealand]].

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[nkeck|Nick Keck]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Corresponding Secretary]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]]
[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$CORSEC}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Djyin

2025-09-22T23:53:41Z

Ngaynor: /* TWOVEEP, 2025-2026 */

'''Daniel (DJ) Yin''' is.{{Citation needed}} He is also occasionally a world-class Splatoon backline player.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===TWOVeep, 2025-2026===
Daniel has stepped down as KGB president. It is still debatable whether this was a willing decision or was part of a deal he could not refuse from Benner. Instead, he has been nominated as TwoVeep, his position before his reign as president. Daniel has promised to become an even better TwoVeep than the one he was before by bringing “a greater diversity of snacks.” We hope this proponent of snack globalism fulfills his lofty ambitions.

===President, 2024-2025===
Self-proclaimed “Splatoon God,” Daniel is ready to rumble as the new president. He has prepared for this overwhelming responsibility by consuming a diet of 5 gallons of squid ink every 3.2 fortnights. He reports that this is a necessary addition to his intake, without which his very bone structure would disintegrate. We don’t think a liquid Daniel would be a great president, so we won’t test his claim.

===Sergeant at Arms, 2023-2024===
As a world-class Splatoon player, Daniel knows the value of playing as a team. As a team player, he also knows that sacrifices are sometimes necessary for the betterment of the team. Kevin seems somewhat skeptical of this fact, especially when it comes to him being sacrificed to the steam tunnel gods. Daniel tells us that Kevin is just not playing for the team, and the rest of exec wouldn’t want to be bad team players as well, would we?

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[asueiro|Avalon Sueiro]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2023-2024 (Apr-Oct)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[zhengham|Howard Ma]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Second Vice President]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2023-2024 (Oct-Apr)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[eplin|Teddy Lin]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[kevinson|Kevin Song]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[President]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[eplin|Teddy Lin]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Second Vice President]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$2VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Djyin

2025-09-22T23:53:21Z

Ngaynor: /* Officer Dossiers: */

'''Daniel (DJ) Yin''' is.{{Citation needed}} He is also occasionally a world-class Splatoon backline player.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===TWOVEEP, 2025-2026===
Daniel has stepped down as KGB president. It is still debatable whether this was a willing decision or was part of a deal he could not refuse from Benner. Instead, he has been nominated as TwoVeep, his position before his reign as president. Daniel has promised to become an even better TwoVeep than the one he was before by bringing “a greater diversity of snacks.” We hope this proponent of snack globalism fulfills his lofty ambitions.

===President, 2024-2025===
Self-proclaimed “Splatoon God,” Daniel is ready to rumble as the new president. He has prepared for this overwhelming responsibility by consuming a diet of 5 gallons of squid ink every 3.2 fortnights. He reports that this is a necessary addition to his intake, without which his very bone structure would disintegrate. We don’t think a liquid Daniel would be a great president, so we won’t test his claim.

===Sergeant at Arms, 2023-2024===
As a world-class Splatoon player, Daniel knows the value of playing as a team. As a team player, he also knows that sacrifices are sometimes necessary for the betterment of the team. Kevin seems somewhat skeptical of this fact, especially when it comes to him being sacrificed to the steam tunnel gods. Daniel tells us that Kevin is just not playing for the team, and the rest of exec wouldn’t want to be bad team players as well, would we?

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[asueiro|Avalon Sueiro]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2023-2024 (Apr-Oct)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[zhengham|Howard Ma]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Second Vice President]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2023-2024 (Oct-Apr)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[eplin|Teddy Lin]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[kevinson|Kevin Song]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[President]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[eplin|Teddy Lin]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Second Vice President]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$2VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Rtosh

2025-09-22T23:52:36Z

Ngaynor: /* First Vice President, 2025-2026 */

'''Ryan Tosh''' is a person. They often make regrettable decisions, which they rarely regret. Their interests include international relations and political science; political science, security, and technology; biology; chemistry; physics; mathematical science; pre-med; russian studies; computer science; electrical and computer engineering; technical writing; information security; social and political history; gender studies; and student-defined. This is definitely not just a list of every major which they have at one point considered declaring.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===ONEVeep, 2025-2026===
By painting the fence 7146 times, Ryan has made it clear he has no boundaries when it comes to outreach, making him a perfect OneVeep. Ryan’s various activities have led some to believe that he and CMU campus are one, or that he is a physical manifestation of the spirit of campus. Whatever the truth is, all that matters is his ability to lead unsuspecting students into ̶s̶t̶e̶a̶ KGB meetings.

===Treasurer, 2024-2025 (September-April)===
Rtosh was not democratically elected, which will be important experience for their future plans. They can easily remember the words to get people to throw coins at them, but cannot as easily remember the words to make them stop.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[noahking|Noah King]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025 (Sep-Apr)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=1VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Rtosh

2025-09-22T23:52:01Z

Ngaynor:

'''Ryan Tosh''' is a person. They often make regrettable decisions, which they rarely regret. Their interests include international relations and political science; political science, security, and technology; biology; chemistry; physics; mathematical science; pre-med; russian studies; computer science; electrical and computer engineering; technical writing; information security; social and political history; gender studies; and student-defined. This is definitely not just a list of every major which they have at one point considered declaring.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===First Vice President, 2025-2026===
By painting the fence 7146 times, Ryan has made it clear he has no boundaries when it comes to outreach, making him a perfect OneVeep. Ryan’s various activities have led some to believe that he and CMU campus are one, or that he is a physical manifestation of the spirit of campus. Whatever the truth is, all that matters is his ability to lead unsuspecting students into ̶s̶t̶e̶a̶ KGB meetings.

===Treasurer, 2024-2025 (September-April)===
Rtosh was not democratically elected, which will be important experience for their future plans. They can easily remember the words to get people to throw coins at them, but cannot as easily remember the words to make them stop.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[noahking|Noah King]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025 (Sep-Apr)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=1VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Bennerr

2025-09-22T23:49:32Z

Ngaynor:

'''Benner''' is a perpetual inhabitant of the Wean 5202 computer lab. Within the computer lab she is often found photoshopping images for README and posters for very serious issues that she posts around campus. She also enjoys perusing Wikipedia and being really bad at video games. Benner is currently majoring in Literature and Culture and Russian Studies, with an additional minor in Game Design. She swears that the Russian Studies major is unrelated to her position in the KGB, however some shadowy overheard phone calls to the Russian embassy suggest possible defection.

Do not ask Benner why she decided to come to CMU to get an English degree. She does not know.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===President, 2025-2026===
In a quick revolution, Benner has finally reached her ultimate form: President of KGB. Although she spent two years quietly plotting this maneuver, the signs should have been clear: switching her major to Russian Studies, diligent research into KGB history, and strange, tyrannical ramblings emanating from her dorm room. Let us hope, for all our sakes, that this planning is worth it.

===ONEVeep, 2024-2025===
Benner was elected to 1VP her sophomore year, and spends much of her time imagining how she would take power if a terrible accident were to befall the President. Rumor has it that she carries a Nerf gun on her at all times, ensuring she is able to seize control of the KGB at a moment's notice. Benner uses her photoshop skills to post stories for the KGB's Instagram(provided she remembers to do so). She has absolutely never posted a KGB story to her personal Instagram account. Never. Ever.

===Sergeant at Arms, 2023-2024===
Benner rose up into the ranks of KGB leadership as a freshman in 2024 after former 2VP Howie "stepped down" from leadership "willingly" due to "scheduling conflicts". Thankfully, Benner was strangely prepared to fill the empty position caused by the exec shakeup. Benner spent most of her time trapped in the prison of the Wean computer labs, damned to spend the rest of her days fucking around on photoshop at midnight lest the soul of Andrew Carnegie drag her down to hell(force her to walk through Doherty to get to her dorm room).

As the only English major in all of Carnegie Mellon, Benner was kidnapped at gunpoint by Eshaan and Kevin to write for README when it was resurrected in 2024. She says she only contributes to continue the USSR's long and illustrious tradition of propaganda, however the missing printing funds say otherwise.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[djyin|Daniel Yin]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2023-2024]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[asueiro|Avalon Sueiro]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[rtosh|Ryan Tosh]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[djyin|Daniel Yin]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[President]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$PREZ}}
{{end}}
[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Sharknado

2025-09-11T19:33:22Z

Ngaynor:

[[KGB]]'s [[2024 Officers|2025]] [[Booth]]. The [[Carnival]] theme was "Hollywood". Turns out this just means specific movie themed booths, so our first choice idea of a movie set was promptly rejected. We instead went with one of modern cinema's greatest achievements: the Sharknado franchise. Our chairs for this year were [[jpwang2]], [[klhansen]], [[marinaw]], and [[eplin]], who led us to win 3rd place in the Blitz category.

The booth featured vibrant and chaotic murals depicting sharknado chaos across the globe, including in Pittsburgh. On top of the booth, there was a large shark head made of paper mache and a tornado made of chicken wire and plastic bags. Inside the booth was a long hallway with sharks swimming around and trash on the walls. At the turn, a visitor would then enter into a shark's mouth to play the game.

Thanks to the diligent research of [[ngaynor]], the booth included many plot points from all 6 Sharknado films. Most notably, a big space laser used to stop the sharknados in Sharknado 3.

The video game, made by [[eplin]] was about sharknados hitting the CMU campus. Using Wii remotes, this two player game saw players take up a gun or a chainsaw to fight their way across campus to activate a space laser controller in [[Hamerschlag]]. [[isaacw]] composed the music for the game, which was based on the Sharknado theme song, "The Ballad of Sharknado" which is featured in the opening credits of most Sharknado films.

Somehow, the computer and projector for the game were left unprotected in the booth, both of which were destroyed from the water damage on the first night of carnival. This led KGB to scramble for a new computer and projector before midway opened and the judges came.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[The Dino Game (Booth)]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Booth]]|years=2025}}
{{s-aft|after=$BOOTH}}
{{end}}
[[Category:Booth]]

Buca di Beppo

2025-09-08T00:41:21Z

Ngaynor:

'''Buca di Beppo''' was an italian restaurant at Station Square where KGB goes for [[Mafia Night]].

As of 2025, Buca di Beppo no longer exists

[[Category:Food]]

Noahking

2025-09-07T15:37:05Z

Ngaynor:

'''Noah King''' is the person who wrote this sentence. He is a big fan of tomato products and sugar, but not ketchup.

Noah is from Kansas. The mountainous terrain and large buildings in Pittsburgh scare him.

Noah was voted "Most Likely to Take Over the World" in his senior year of high school. They were correct.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===Treasurer, 2024===
Although Noah's time as treasurer was short, he will be forever remembered both in our hearts and the records of the KGB Wiki.

===Sergeant at Arms, 2025-2026===
Noah was dragged back onto [[exec]] in April 2025. Noah currently has two arms, but that number is subject to change.

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]
{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[skroneme|Theo Kronemer]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]] (Apr - Jun)}}
{{s-aft|after=[[rtosh|Ryan Tosh]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=S@A}}
{{end}}

Noahking

2025-09-07T15:36:53Z

Ngaynor:

'''Noah King''' is the person who wrote this sentence. He is a big fan of tomato products and sugar, but not ketchup.

Noah is from Kansas. The mountainous terrain and large buildings in Pittsburgh scare him.

Noah was voted "Most Likely to Take Over the World" in his senior year of high school. They were correct.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===Treasurer, 2024===
Although Noah's time as treasurer was short, he will be forever remembered both in our hearts and the records of the KGB Wiki.

===Sergeant at Arms, 2025-2026===
Noah was dragged back onto [[exec]] in April 2025. Noah currently has two arms, but that number is subject to change.

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]
{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[skroneme|Theo Kronemer]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]] (Apr - Jun}}
{{s-aft|after=[[rtosh|Ryan Tosh]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=S@A}}
{{end}}

Jholz

2025-09-07T15:32:58Z

Ngaynor:

'''Julia Holz''' uploaded three years worth of [[Minutes|minutes]] in one day, which makes her the G.O.A.T.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===RecSec, 2024-2025===
Embracing her inevitable fate, Julia has returned to her third year as Recsec. How has she managed to stay sane? Who says she has! Fully acclimated to her position, she remains unphased as motions are tabled until the heat death of the universe. She will wait those many years, still as Recsec the whole time, to untable them.

===RecSec, 2023-2024===
Julia is practically synonymous with the sound of frantic typing as the motion to create the committee to create the committee to create the committee to create committees is proposed. She is so synonymous with the idea of being RecSec, in fact, that we couldn’t imagine anyone else holding the position for the coming year, so here she is.

===RecSec, 2022-2023===
Julia is a professional typist trained in all manner of shorthand, in order to better capture every facet of our inane discussions and store them forever in the #the-minutes channel. She is also well versed in the arts of cryptography and steganography, so we can still hold meetings when the FBI investigates us for seditious activity.

Likes: The sound of her keyboard, unearthing old business, the Thing

Dislikes: The spirit of the Thing

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[liamt|Liam Thomas]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Recording Secretary]]
|years=[[2022 Officers|2022-2023]]
[[2023 Officers|2023-2024]]

[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[Savithrb|Savi Bhat]]}}
{{end}}
[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Savithrb

2025-09-07T15:32:52Z

Ngaynor: Created page with "'''Savi Bhat''' is a person who hasn't updated their bio. {{s-start}} {{s-bef|before=Julia Holz}} {{s-ttl|title=Recording Secretary |years=2025 Officers|2025-..."

'''Savi Bhat''' is a person who hasn't updated their bio.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[Jholz|Julia Holz]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Recording Secretary]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$RECSEC}}
{{end}}
[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Ngaynor

2025-09-07T15:29:07Z

Ngaynor:

'''Nathan Gaynor''' is a person is known to do many things. He is also known for the creation of [[The Spellbook]]
==Officer Dossiers:==

===Corsec, 2024-2025===
Nathan has somehow made time to be KGB’s Corsec. Forever trapped in BXA purgatory and imprisoned by the CFA practice rooms, he can be busy. However, he assures the general body that Pravda and newsletters will always come out on time and that all emails will be sent professiionaly and wihtout errors . Nathan will continue to serve KGB during school breaks at his island home on the [[Principality of Sealand]].

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[nkeck|Nick Keck]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Corresponding Secretary]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]]
[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$CORSEC}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Bennerr

2025-09-07T15:26:44Z

Ngaynor:

'''Benner''' is a perpetual inhabitant of the Wean 5202 computer lab. Within the computer lab she is often found photoshopping images for README and posters for very serious issues that she posts around campus. She also enjoys perusing Wikipedia and being really bad at video games. Benner is currently majoring in Literature and Culture and Russian Studies, with an additional minor in Game Design. She swears that the Russian Studies major is unrelated to her position in the KGB, however some shadowy overheard phone calls to the Russian embassy suggest possible defection.

Do not ask Benner why she decided to come to CMU to get an English degree. She does not know.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===ONEVeep, 2024-2025===
Benner was elected to 1VP her sophomore year, and spends much of her time imagining how she would take power if a terrible accident were to befall the President. Rumor has it that she carries a Nerf gun on her at all times, ensuring she is able to seize control of the KGB at a moment's notice. Benner uses her photoshop skills to post stories for the KGB's Instagram(provided she remembers to do so). She has absolutely never posted a KGB story to her personal Instagram account. Never. Ever.

===Sergeant at Arms, 2023-2024===
Benner rose up into the ranks of KGB leadership as a freshman in 2024 after former 2VP Howie "stepped down" from leadership "willingly" due to "scheduling conflicts". Thankfully, Benner was strangely prepared to fill the empty position caused by the exec shakeup. Benner spent most of her time trapped in the prison of the Wean computer labs, damned to spend the rest of her days fucking around on photoshop at midnight lest the soul of Andrew Carnegie drag her down to hell(force her to walk through Doherty to get to her dorm room).

As the only English major in all of Carnegie Mellon, Benner was kidnapped at gunpoint by Eshaan and Kevin to write for README when it was resurrected in 2024. She says she only contributes to continue the USSR's long and illustrious tradition of propaganda, however the missing printing funds say otherwise.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[djyin|Daniel Yin]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2023-2024]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[asueiro|Avalon Sueiro]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[rtosh|Ryan Tosh]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[djyin|Daniel Yin]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[President]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$PREZ}}
{{end}}
[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Bennerr

2025-09-07T15:26:12Z

Ngaynor:

'''Benner''' is a perpetual inhabitant of the Wean 5202 computer lab. Within the computer lab she is often found photoshopping images for README and posters for very serious issues that she posts around campus. She also enjoys perusing Wikipedia and being really bad at video games. Benner is currently majoring in Literature and Culture and Russian Studies, with an additional minor in Game Design. She swears that the Russian Studies major is unrelated to her position in the KGB, however some shadowy overheard phone calls to the Russian embassy suggest possible defection.

Do not ask Benner why she decided to come to CMU to get an English degree. She does not know.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===ONEVeep, 2024-2025===
Benner was elected to 1VP her sophomore year, and spends much of her time imagining how she would take power if a terrible accident were to befall the President. Rumor has it that she carries a Nerf gun on her at all times, ensuring she is able to seize control of the KGB at a moment's notice. Benner uses her photoshop skills to post stories for the KGB's Instagram(provided she remembers to do so). She has absolutely never posted a KGB story to her personal Instagram account. Never. Ever.

===Sergeant at Arms, 2023-2024===
Benner rose up into the ranks of KGB leadership as a freshman in 2024 after former 2VP Howie "stepped down" from leadership "willingly" due to "scheduling conflicts". Thankfully, Benner was strangely prepared to fill the empty position caused by the exec shakeup. Benner spent most of her time trapped in the prison of the Wean computer labs, damned to spend the rest of her days fucking around on photoshop at midnight lest the soul of Andrew Carnegie drag her down to hell(force her to walk through Doherty to get to her dorm room).

As the only English major in all of Carnegie Mellon, Benner was kidnapped at gunpoint by Eshaan and Kevin to write for README when it was resurrected in 2024. She says she only contributes to continue the USSR's long and illustrious tradition of propaganda, however the missing printing funds say otherwise.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[djyin|Daniel Yin]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2023-2024]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[asueiro|Avalon Sueiro]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$1VP}}
{{s-bef|before=[[djyin|Daniel Yin]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[President]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$PREZ}}
{{end}}
[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Bennerr

2025-09-07T15:25:50Z

Ngaynor:

'''Benner''' is a perpetual inhabitant of the Wean 5202 computer lab. Within the computer lab she is often found photoshopping images for README and posters for very serious issues that she posts around campus. She also enjoys perusing Wikipedia and being really bad at video games. Benner is currently majoring in Literature and Culture and Russian Studies, with an additional minor in Game Design. She swears that the Russian Studies major is unrelated to her position in the KGB, however some shadowy overheard phone calls to the Russian embassy suggest possible defection.

Do not ask Benner why she decided to come to CMU to get an English degree. She does not know.

==Officer Dossiers:==

===ONEVeep, 2024-2025===
Benner was elected to 1VP her sophomore year, and spends much of her time imagining how she would take power if a terrible accident were to befall the President. Rumor has it that she carries a Nerf gun on her at all times, ensuring she is able to seize control of the KGB at a moment's notice. Benner uses her photoshop skills to post stories for the KGB's Instagram(provided she remembers to do so). She has absolutely never posted a KGB story to her personal Instagram account. Never. Ever.

===Sergeant at Arms, 2023-2024===
Benner rose up into the ranks of KGB leadership as a freshman in 2024 after former 2VP Howie "stepped down" from leadership "willingly" due to "scheduling conflicts". Thankfully, Benner was strangely prepared to fill the empty position caused by the exec shakeup. Benner spent most of her time trapped in the prison of the Wean computer labs, damned to spend the rest of her days fucking around on photoshop at midnight lest the soul of Andrew Carnegie drag her down to hell(force her to walk through Doherty to get to her dorm room).

As the only English major in all of Carnegie Mellon, Benner was kidnapped at gunpoint by Eshaan and Kevin to write for README when it was resurrected in 2024. She says she only contributes to continue the USSR's long and illustrious tradition of propaganda, however the missing printing funds say otherwise.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[djyin|Daniel Yin]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[President]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$PREZ}}
{{s-bef|before=[[djyin|Daniel Yin]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2023-2024]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[isaacw|Isaac Williamson]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[asueiro|Avalon Sueiro]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$1VP}}
{{end}}
[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Djyin

2025-09-07T15:24:26Z

Ngaynor:

'''Daniel (DJ) Yin''' is.{{Citation needed}} He is also occasionally a world-class Splatoon backline player.

==Officer Dossiers:==
===President, 2024-2025===
Self-proclaimed “Splatoon God,” Daniel is ready to rumble as the new president. He has prepared for this overwhelming responsibility by consuming a diet of 5 gallons of squid ink every 3.2 fortnights. He reports that this is a necessary addition to his intake, without which his very bone structure would disintegrate. We don’t think a liquid Daniel would be a great president, so we won’t test his claim.

===Sergeant at Arms, 2023-2024===
As a world-class Splatoon player, Daniel knows the value of playing as a team. As a team player, he also knows that sacrifices are sometimes necessary for the betterment of the team. Kevin seems somewhat skeptical of this fact, especially when it comes to him being sacrificed to the steam tunnel gods. Daniel tells us that Kevin is just not playing for the team, and the rest of exec wouldn’t want to be bad team players as well, would we?

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[asueiro|Avalon Sueiro]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2023-2024 (Apr-Oct)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[zhengham|Howard Ma]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Second Vice President]]
|years=[[2023 Officers|2023-2024 (Oct-Apr)]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[eplin|Teddy Lin]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[kevinson|Kevin Song]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[President]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[bennerr|Benner Rogers]]}}
{{s-bef|before=[[eplin|Teddy Lin]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Second Vice President]]
|years=[[2025 Officers|2025-2026]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$2VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

Sharknado

2025-09-06T16:31:54Z

Ngaynor:

[[KGB]]'s [[2024 Officers|2025]] [[Booth]]. The [[Carnival]] theme was "Hollywood". Turns out this just means specific movie themed booths, so our first choice idea of a movie set was promptly rejected. We instead went with one of modern cinema's greatest achievements: the Sharknado franchise. Our chairs for this year were [[jpwang2]], [[klhansen]], [[marinaw]], and [[eplin]], who led us to win 3rd place in the Blitz category, our first placement since [[Octodad|2016]].

The booth featured vibrant and chaotic murals depicting sharknado chaos across the globe, including in Pittsburgh. On top of the booth, there was a large shark head made of paper mache and a tornado made of chicken wire and plastic bags. Inside the booth was a long hallway with sharks swimming around and trash on the walls. At the turn, a visitor would then enter into a shark's mouth to play the game.

Thanks to the diligent research of [[ngaynor]], the booth included many plot points from all 6 Sharknado films. Most notably, a big space laser used to stop the sharknados in Sharknado 3.

The video game, made by [[eplin]] was about sharknados hitting the CMU campus. Using Wii remotes, this two player game saw players take up a gun or a chainsaw to fight their way across campus to activate a space laser controller in [[Hamerschlag]]. [[isaacw]] composed the music for the game, which was based on the Sharknado theme song, "The Ballad of Sharknado" which is featured in the opening credits of most Sharknado films.

Somehow, the computer and projector for the game were left unprotected in the booth, both of which were destroyed from the water damage on the first night of carnival. This led KGB to scramble for a new computer and projector before midway opened and the judges came.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[The Dino Game (Booth)]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Booth]]|years=2025}}
{{s-aft|after=$BOOTH}}
{{end}}
[[Category:Booth]]

The Dino Game (Booth)

2025-09-06T16:31:32Z

Ngaynor:

[[KGB]]'s [[2023 Officers|2024]] [[Booth]]. The [[Carnival]] theme was "Arcade". Our chairs for this year were, [[jpwang2]], [[kgurusha]], [[acacciat]], [[ejchapma]], [[skroneme]], and [[eplin]], who led us to complete a single-story Blitz booth on [[Midway]].

The Dino Game is a browser-based arcade game, which can be accessed when Google Chrome is unable to connect to the internet. The player controls a dinosaur, which must jump over cacti and low-flying pterodactyls. Although public reception was great, it is suspected that this theme did not land with the judges.

The booth featured a nearly monochrome, pixel-art aesthetic, with sharp contrast from red pixels and lighting representing fires. The outside of the booth featured pixelated murals of running dinosaurs, with a porch that housed a large cardboard dinosaur statue, named Karl. The inside of the booth features a long hallway with an inverted color palette (black background, white dinosaur outlines), red overhead lighting with a meteor at the end of the hallway, and a white projector room where we housed our game: a recreation of the Dino Game.

This Dino Game recreation was written by [[eplin|Teddy]]. It begins with a cutscene of a dinosaur attempting to sneak up on a sleeping Scotty Dog, only to be crushed by a meteor. Many dinosaurs then flee across the screen, while Scotty jumps out of a mound and begins running. The player then controls Scotty, jumping over the other fleeing dinosaurs as the endless runner mechanic. [[acacciat|Anthony]] composed actual music for the game, with motifs taken from "Solidarity Forever". The game was played with a pressure mat, so that participants would jump in real life to make Scotty jump in the game. The game prize was a dinosaur sticker.

Link: https://one-kappa-tea.itch.io/totally-just-the-chrome-dino-game

Due to heavy rainfall and wind, Midway was closed on Thursday, and the roof was re-tar-papered on Thursday night/Friday morning.

== Notable features ==

* The long interior wall -> "longer" booth
* Blacklight usage with UV-glowing paint
* A real video game! (https://one-kappa-tea.itch.io/totally-just-the-chrome-dino-game)

== Things learned ==

* Tar paper isn't very good at waterproofing a flat roof, although the rain was worse than usual.
* If we want to win, we need to pander more to the elder judges. Whether or not we're willing to do this is uncertain.
* While the number of build week builders was an improvement from last year, we need to improve recruitment and build attendance before then.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[Monopoly (Booth)]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Booth]]|years=2024}}
{{s-aft|after=[[Sharknado]]}}
{{end}}
[[Category:Booth]]

Sharknado

2025-09-06T16:31:12Z

Ngaynor: Created page with "KGB's 2024 Booth. The Carnival theme was "Hollywood". Turns out this just means specific movie themed booths, so our first choice idea of a movi..."

[[KGB]]'s [[2024 Officers|2024]] [[Booth]]. The [[Carnival]] theme was "Hollywood". Turns out this just means specific movie themed booths, so our first choice idea of a movie set was promptly rejected. We instead went with one of modern cinema's greatest achievements: the Sharknado franchise. Our chairs for this year were [[jpwang2]], [[klhansen]], [[marinaw]], and [[eplin]], who led us to win 3rd place in the Blitz category, our first placement since [[Octodad|2016]].

The booth featured vibrant and chaotic murals depicting sharknado chaos across the globe, including in Pittsburgh. On top of the booth, there was a large shark head made of paper mache and a tornado made of chicken wire and plastic bags. Inside the booth was a long hallway with sharks swimming around and trash on the walls. At the turn, a visitor would then enter into a shark's mouth to play the game.

Thanks to the diligent research of [[ngaynor]], the booth included many plot points from all 6 Sharknado films. Most notably, a big space laser used to stop the sharknados in Sharknado 3.

The video game, made by [[eplin]] was about sharknados hitting the CMU campus. Using Wii remotes, this two player game saw players take up a gun or a chainsaw to fight their way across campus to activate a space laser controller in [[Hamerschlag]]. [[isaacw]] composed the music for the game, which was based on the Sharknado theme song, "The Ballad of Sharknado" which is featured in the opening credits of most Sharknado films.

Somehow, the computer and projector for the game were left unprotected in the booth, both of which were destroyed from the water damage on the first night of carnival. This led KGB to scramble for a new computer and projector before midway opened and the judges came.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[The Dino Game (Booth)]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Booth]]|years=2025}}
{{s-aft|after=$BOOTH}}
{{end}}
[[Category:Booth]]

Principality of Sealand

2025-08-11T19:51:41Z

Ngaynor:

The KGB currently owns roughly 1.5 square feet of land on the Principality of Sealand, an island micronation off the coast of Britain. Some say that Sealand is not a real country. Those people are cowards who hate freedom. The deed to the land is currently framed inside the [[Office]].

The boundaries of the land are defined thus:
Northwest Corner: 51° 50' 33" 380 N, 01° 42' 02" 0.012 E
Southeast Corner: 51° 50' 33" 370 N, 01° 42' 02" 0.028 E

Some may note that these coordinates are not actually on Sealand, but rather in the middle of the north sea.

Principality of Sealand

2025-08-11T19:50:58Z

Ngaynor:

Principality of Sealand

2025-08-11T19:47:17Z

Ngaynor:

Principality of Sealand

2025-08-11T19:40:35Z

Ngaynor:

The KGB currently owns roughly one square meter of land on the Principality of Sealand, an island micronation off the coast of Britain. Some say that Sealand is not a real country. Those people are cowards who hate freedom. The deed to the land is currently framed inside the [[Office]].

The boundaries of the land are defined thus:
Northwest Corner: 51° 50' 33" 380 N, 01° 42' 02" 0.012 E
Southeast Corner: 51° 50' 33" 370 N, 01° 42' 02" 0.028 E

Principality of Sealand

2025-08-11T19:40:13Z

Ngaynor: Created page with "The KGB currently owns roughly one square meter of land on the Principality of Sealand, an island micronation off the coast of Britain. Some say that Sealand is not a real cou..."

The KGB currently owns roughly one square meter of land on the Principality of Sealand, an island micronation off the coast of Britain. Some say that Sealand is not a real country. Those people are cowards who hate freedom. The deed to the land it currently framed inside the [[Office]].

The boundaries of the land are defined thus:
Northwest Corner: 51° 50' 33" 380 N, 01° 42' 02" 0.012 E
Southeast Corner: 51° 50' 33" 370 N, 01° 42' 02" 0.028 E

Ngaynor

2025-08-11T19:31:41Z

Ngaynor:

'''Nathan Gaynor''' is a person is known to do many things. He is also known for the creation of [[The Spellbook]]
==Officer Dossiers:==

===Corsec, 2024-2025===
Nathan has somehow made time to be KGB’s Corsec. Forever trapped in BXA purgatory and imprisoned by the CFA practice rooms, he can be busy. However, he assures the general body that Pravda and newsletters will always come out on time and that all emails will be sent professiionaly and wihtout errors . Nathan will continue to serve KGB during school breaks at his island home on the [[Principality of Sealand]].

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[nkeck|Nick Keck]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Corresponding Secretary]]
|years=[[2024 Officers|2024-2025]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$CORSEC}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Members]][[Category:Current Members]][[Category:Officers]]

The Spellbook

2025-03-18T00:14:02Z

Ngaynor:

In 2024, High Wizard [[Ngaynor]] implemented a magic system within GBMs. Below is the official, up to date(ish) text of the KGB Spellbook:

==Preface==
Herein lies the ancient magical secrets that may be used for great effect during the gatherings of those known as “KGB.” This knowledge carries with it a grave deal of responsibility. The power one may possess from this text can cause great benefit or detriment to those nearby.

==Conditions==
In order to cast the spells detailed herein, one must achieve the state of being “magical.” One may do so by fulfilling one of the following conditions:

One is magical if they currently have bronchitis.

One is magical if they have uranium on their person.

One is magical for one minute after their motion is passed.

One is magical for one minute after receiving a high five from the [[magic hand]] from someone who is not yourself

A motion can also become magical. A magical committee, once passed, can report at any point in the meeting and remain in order. A motion can become magical by fulfilling one of the following conditions:

A motion is magical if it receives no votes for any category. This motion is then tabled for one week.

A motion is magical if it receives unanimous approval from the general body present at the meeting besides the chair

The magic committee, chaired by the archmage, is also magical. The magic committee is responsible for the upkeep of the spellbook.

One is anti-magical if they are in possession of the anti-magical hand.

==Spells==
Upon becoming magical, one may then cast one of the following spells. This must be done after being called upon by the chair. In order to cast a spell, one must say “I cast ____,” where the blank space must be filled with the name of the spell. If the spell is to affect another person, one must say “I cast ____ on ____” where the first blank must be filled with the name of the spell, and the second is to be filled with the name that the spell is to affect. If you are holding the magic hand, you may cast two back-to-back spells. For one minute after someone in possession of the anti-magical hand accuses you of witchcraft, you must drop to 0 hit points upon the casting of a spell.

===Short Term Friendship===
Once cast, every person at the gathering must be really nice to you, and you are no longer lonely.

===Friend Destroyer===
Once cast upon someone who has cast Short Term Friendship, their friendships are thereon broken.

===Animal Companion===
Once cast, the chair must share an animal fact.

===Summon Squid Companion===
Once cast, the chair must share a fact about Splatoon.

===Super Salute===
Once cast upon a person, the general body must salute the target, after which the target loses 5 hit points.

===Neptune's Curse===
Once cast, the general body must speak as if they are underwater for 30 seconds. This spell may be ended early if a person was to fake their death through drowning.

===Pronoun Swap===
Once cast upon a person, the spellcaster and the target must swap pronouns.

===Invoke Mob Justice===
Once cast, the general body shall move into a vote. If the vote is successful, [[Djyin|Daniel Yin]] is then reduced to 0 hit points.

===Restore Tyrant===
Once cast, Daniel Yin returns to 100 hit points and is no longer dead.

===Laptop Destroyer===
Once cast upon a person, they must close their laptop for at least 5 seconds - the target may refuse if the laptop is currently working a critical process. If the target does not currently have a laptop out, they must either take their laptop out, open it, then close it, or close someone else’s laptop with that person’s consent

===Mage Hand===
Once cast, whoever currently has the magic hand must give it to you.

===CULINARY SABOTAGE===
Once cast upon an item of bowl food, that food then becomes inedible

===TL;DR===
Once cast upon a person, they must not say a sentence longer than 10 words or else they must fake their death. Upon death, the effects of the spell end

===HANDHELD GAMING===
Once cast, the two people currently in possession of the magical and anti-magical hand must play one round of rock-paper-scissors. The loser must relinquish their magical or anti-magical hand to someone else who is not in possession of one of these hands. The magical and anti-magical hands must not be in the same person’s possession once cast.

===NOMINATE A SCHEMING EUNUCH===
Once cast upon a person, they must go to the corner of shame (by the shoulder of Daniel Yin). This person must remain there until a vote has been passed. In the event of a tie vote, this person may decide the final call of the vote, instead of the chair. If this happens, they then get “assassinated” and must fake their death.

==Cantrips==
Cantrips behave similar to spells, although one does not need to be magical in order to cast a cantrip. One can only cast one cantrip per meeting. One may lie on the ground for 10 minutes to regenerate their ability to cast a cantrip.

===RESET===
Once cast during an auction, the current bid returns to $0. Once cast, one must pay $1 to the KGB

===SHUT THE FUCK UP LUKE===
Once cast, the general body must say “Shut the fuck up Luke,” and Luke Erbsen then loses 10 hit points

===CACTUS IS REALLY TASTY===
Once cast, the caster loses 5 hit points

===NOOO DON’T KILL YOURSELF YOU’RE SO SEXY===
Once cast upon a person who is repeatedly doing damage to themselves, they are immune from taking damage for one minute

Magic hand

2025-03-18T00:13:23Z

Ngaynor:

The Magic Hand is one of a pair of plastic mannequin hands bought by [[Rtosh]] for the express purpose of throwing them at [[Djyin|the president]]. It is important to note that only the right hand is magical, while the left hand is anti-magical.

The Spellbook

2025-03-18T00:11:51Z

Ngaynor: /* TL:DR */

In 2024, High Wizard [[Ngaynor]] implemented a magic system within GBMs. Below is the official, up to date(ish) text of the KGB Spellbook:

==Preface==
Herein lies the ancient magical secrets that may be used for great effect during the gatherings of those known as “KGB.” This knowledge carries with it a grave deal of responsibility. The power one may possess from this text can cause great benefit or detriment to those nearby.

==Conditions==
In order to cast the spells detailed herein, one must achieve the state of being “magical.” One may do so by fulfilling one of the following conditions:

One is magical if they currently have bronchitis.

One is magical if they have uranium on their person.

One is magical for one minute after their motion is passed.

One is magical for one minute after receiving a high five from the magic hand from someone who is not yourself

A motion can also become magical. A magical committee, once passed, can report at any point in the meeting and remain in order. A motion can become magical by fulfilling one of the following conditions:

A motion is magical if it receives no votes for any category. This motion is then tabled for one week.

A motion is magical if it receives unanimous approval from the general body present at the meeting besides the chair

The magic committee, chaired by the archmage, is also magical. The magic committee is responsible for the upkeep of the spellbook.

One is anti-magical if they are in possession of the anti-magical hand.

==Spells==
Upon becoming magical, one may then cast one of the following spells. This must be done after being called upon by the chair. In order to cast a spell, one must say “I cast ____,” where the blank space must be filled with the name of the spell. If the spell is to affect another person, one must say “I cast ____ on ____” where the first blank must be filled with the name of the spell, and the second is to be filled with the name that the spell is to affect. If you are holding the magic hand, you may cast two back-to-back spells. For one minute after someone in possession of the anti-magical hand accuses you of witchcraft, you must drop to 0 hit points upon the casting of a spell.

===Short Term Friendship===
Once cast, every person at the gathering must be really nice to you, and you are no longer lonely.

===Friend Destroyer===
Once cast upon someone who has cast Short Term Friendship, their friendships are thereon broken.

===Animal Companion===
Once cast, the chair must share an animal fact.

===Summon Squid Companion===
Once cast, the chair must share a fact about Splatoon.

===Super Salute===
Once cast upon a person, the general body must salute the target, after which the target loses 5 hit points.

===Neptune's Curse===
Once cast, the general body must speak as if they are underwater for 30 seconds. This spell may be ended early if a person was to fake their death through drowning.

===Pronoun Swap===
Once cast upon a person, the spellcaster and the target must swap pronouns.

===Invoke Mob Justice===
Once cast, the general body shall move into a vote. If the vote is successful, [[Djyin|Daniel Yin]] is then reduced to 0 hit points.

===Restore Tyrant===
Once cast, Daniel Yin returns to 100 hit points and is no longer dead.

===Laptop Destroyer===
Once cast upon a person, they must close their laptop for at least 5 seconds - the target may refuse if the laptop is currently working a critical process. If the target does not currently have a laptop out, they must either take their laptop out, open it, then close it, or close someone else’s laptop with that person’s consent

===Mage Hand===
Once cast, whoever currently has the magic hand must give it to you.

===CULINARY SABOTAGE===
Once cast upon an item of bowl food, that food then becomes inedible

===TL;DR===
Once cast upon a person, they must not say a sentence longer than 10 words or else they must fake their death. Upon death, the effects of the spell end

===HANDHELD GAMING===
Once cast, the two people currently in possession of the magical and anti-magical hand must play one round of rock-paper-scissors. The loser must relinquish their magical or anti-magical hand to someone else who is not in possession of one of these hands. The magical and anti-magical hands must not be in the same person’s possession once cast.

===NOMINATE A SCHEMING EUNUCH===
Once cast upon a person, they must go to the corner of shame (by the shoulder of Daniel Yin). This person must remain there until a vote has been passed. In the event of a tie vote, this person may decide the final call of the vote, instead of the chair. If this happens, they then get “assassinated” and must fake their death.

==Cantrips==
Cantrips behave similar to spells, although one does not need to be magical in order to cast a cantrip. One can only cast one cantrip per meeting. One may lie on the ground for 10 minutes to regenerate their ability to cast a cantrip.

===RESET===
Once cast during an auction, the current bid returns to $0. Once cast, one must pay $1 to the KGB

===SHUT THE FUCK UP LUKE===
Once cast, the general body must say “Shut the fuck up Luke,” and Luke Erbsen then loses 10 hit points

===CACTUS IS REALLY TASTY===
Once cast, the caster loses 5 hit points

===NOOO DON’T KILL YOURSELF YOU’RE SO SEXY===
Once cast upon a person who is repeatedly doing damage to themselves, they are immune from taking damage for one minute