KGB Wiki - User contributions [en]

Minutes20190902

2019-09-18T20:44:14Z

Nmongkol: Created page with "EXEC Dez: hike but thunder. impossible Janny: nine squares never became king Mfy: i had a weekend? whatever Event: ug tour postponed to next week E..."

EXEC
Dez: hike but thunder. impossible
Janny: nine squares never became king
Mfy: i had a weekend? whatever
Event: ug tour postponed to next week
Event: Durian/GBGC friday 7pm
room TBA
Kate as Mckenna: picnic with boyfriend. Henry became king several times
Henry as Woody: woody is probably in Kentucky. Henry stranded in basement of fuel
James: lasertag. found a corner and stood there and shot anyone who came near
Kushal: tried to cook indian food. put too much chili powder

COM REPORT
c: stupid pr facts
new kr series: kamen rider zero-one! first series of the reiwa period.

c: children of immigrant parents
kate's mom visited. heavy bags of food. bought 2 whole bottles of wine. she's here for one day, don't know when she expects to drink two whole bottles. finished one together last night.

c: comics are bullshit
dr. ock got cancer so changed climate change for evil. spiderman punched algor in the face, in favor of doc ock's evil climate change. unsure why evil.

c: support c to assassinate the prez
gives one penny to the treasurer

c: ad hoc i'm empty inside, misapp aren't we all
vending machine: im empty don't understand me, emojis

c: cats are dumb
kaylie's cat snuggling but then both went upstairs. cat was upset so went to kate and stared at kaylie for two hours

c: maine nationalism
conflict where maine tried to annex nova scotia, which rightfully belonged to maine. didn't want to go to war, so fabricated letters from ben franklin. justification from maine lumberjack. death to the traitor.

c: furry appreciation + furry antagonism + furry ambivalence
soowoon what's this?

c: cats are dumb, again
kaylie's other cat. kate's mom allergic to cat, but the cat tried to attract attention and forced mom to pet her.

c: ad hoc stupid pokemon facts
pokedex for xatu. flying type that can see past and future. in ruby, it's so terrified of everything that it doesn't move. it can't change the future and is terrified of what's to come. south america exists in the pokemon universe.

OLD BUSINESS
the thing:
at jasper. goes to kate
not fault = coerced into taking the thing because henry can't be trusted
fault = everything including henry not trustworthy

archive
1. c: kgb archeology
p: ancient meme
m: table for 7 years
passed
2. MOtion to create the don't forget that committee
p: don't forget in three years that we did that
change p: oops we forgot
been changed
m: table for 2 years
passed

NEW BUSINESS
c: please be serious with the attendance sheet
p: the attendance sheet will be passed out one more time
p of info: henry was the first nrauen, not me - cam
cam: 11 nrauen. someone signed as cam, but not me - cam

passed!
sold to Janny for $5. chair=nick rauen or anyone who claimed to be nick rauen

m: disband that committee
need to be done at its own meeting

c: child kidnapping pokemon association
p: in pokedex, alarmingly large pokemons that should be in this association
passed by acclamation
sold to Kushal for $11. chair=kushal and any creepy pokemon

c: semi unprompted clapter wait no that's not a word give me a hot sec
p: no let me die
change c: semi unprompted cl?? 69 wait no that's not a word
been changed
change c: + give me a hot sec
been changed
m: table indefinitely
failed
m: table for four years
passed. been tabled

#define 4=1
the chair didn't hear a motion

#define "left"="exec's left"
not a strong motion

#define "exec's left"="the direction in which the audience go for exec"
?

#define "left"="stage left"
p of info: what is stage left?
left as far as the people on the stage is concerned
m: replace "stage" with "house"
p of info: house left is the audience's left
m: replace with "stage right"
done
m: replace "house" with "stage"
passed. nothing happened.
m: replace all instances of "left" and "right" with "center"
friendly. been changed.
m: remove "stage"
been changed.
m: capitalize one of the center's at current standing rec sec's discretion
we are now in #define "Center"="center"
m: change "center" to half a line below, in order to tone it down
yeah
m: replace "down" with "stage right"
no such thing

summary: #define "Center"=
"center"
that passed

c: on centrism
p: climate change is real but it's fine. the earth is flat anyway
isn't flat earth surrounded by the ice wall. won't it melt?
but the ice wall is really cold.
it also melt outside
what's outside the flat earth?
the ice wall
sold to henry for $1. chair= algor and alex jones

m: alloc <= $20 for snacks and drinks for this week's event, including v8
antiseconded, but is a strong motion
m: change "v8" to "v8 but not the kind that oliver likes"
friendly. been changed
oliver likes to think of it as drinking pasta sauce
m: replace "v8" with "cheetos paws"
the chair did not hear a motion
m: amend amount to $50
antiseconded
m: amend amount to $42.69+$6.90
ok
m: strike amount to be filled by parliamentary procedure
a tie
>:(
options
$69 for purity
$0 for fiscal conservativism
$49.59
$420 because smoke week everyday
13 bushels of corn (rounds to $4)
$118 because slurp soup everyday
$49.59.69 if gas station can list the tenth of a cent, i can do this
$20π
$50
$8.8.8.8
2.5 jobs (a job is $20) -> dilatory
$69 is chosen
done.

m: alloc <= $69
passed. we have an event

REAL ANNOUNCE
kgb exec. meeting tonight 8pm somewhere. probably don't come. it's weird
usually 4.30pm wednesday uc329

this friday: durian
bring cards and boards, board games
next friday: ug tour!!!!!!!!!!! 9/13 7pm
if you signed up but can't do it anymore once it's moved, please pm mitch or janny. people can be busy.

reminder to pay dues. $15 for semesters $20 for the year. obtain official membership, vote, t shirt discount. you don't need dues to participate in events. dues due before the booth vote. existing membership expires sept 30. we'll know booth theme oct 13 (scotty saturday)

SCHMUCKS
m: out of order

those of you who are junior+ will remember dylan. coming back to visit + toc. if people feel like getting food with him, you should! even if you don't know, he's a chill guy. hopefully will come to meeting or something

m: Center

m: seafoam green

m: out of order

m: broken record

m: dilatory

m: center

c: dez our president

m: purple x69
in order x69

Minutes

2019-09-18T20:43:26Z

Nmongkol: /* 2019-2020 */

Minutes

2019-04-17T22:21:20Z

Nmongkol: /* General Body Meetings */

Minutes20190408

2019-04-17T22:12:23Z

Nmongkol: Created page with "EXEC Dez is not here. Ian is Dez. Exam. Left sword at r7 Cam had a meeting. uh uh. had a weekend. Dez told should run meeting, violation Kate had a weekend. not..."

EXEC
Dez is not here. Ian is Dez. Exam. Left sword at r7

Cam had a meeting. uh uh. had a weekend. Dez told should run meeting, violation

Kate had a weekend. not doing booth. got talked into doing booth with SDC.
Event: Defectors party. Saturday 2pm. Stever hopefully. Will be on event post.

Ellen isnot here. Shelby is ellen.

Janny had a weekend. about to do malloc lab. what if i go to scaife instead? so just went to scaife and existed for a while

Rauen had a weekend. fencing national. beat them on indicator cause better than them. 11th in the nation, entire body hurts.

Mitchell is not here. Liam had a weekend. end of report.

COM REPORTS
c: comics are bullshit
Thanos coptor. Villain of the current 2 movies is Thanos, mad titan who plans to collect cosmic jewels. took half life in the universe. He appeared in spiderman comic aimed at young children. tried to obtain cosmic cube, at the end he made the ground shake, he fell and dropped the cube. taken in by nypd. at one point had honey yellow helicoptor, the word "thanos" printed on the tail. it needs to appear in endgame

c: to burn down roselawn 7
failure but interested in use of fire for cooking

c: ad hoc im a shitty treasurer
clear the decks

c: still misnamed facebook profiling
ad about that one pro life movie
why you're seeing it? the catholic association wants to reach people interested in catholic churches

c: nominating
liam: i got a thing
imminently end report for now
liam: this is what the thanos coptor looks like

c: nominating
this is your last chance for nomination or withdrawal!
rauen withdraws from president andtreasurer
liam withdraws from treasurer
debt: woody, tim, liam, kate

c: burn down r7 + not burn down r7
party this saturday at like 7-8pm ish. show up. have fun. maybe nonzero number of alums here.

c: misapp. not to burn down kremlin
approves.

c: misapp. roberts rule of order
not on shelf. now 213 textbook and other stuff that are easier to read. will show up at bake barter

c: misapp. random strange club/committees interaction com idk
some information on why some ppl don't agree with the kgb. why certain orgs disassociated with themselves.
"we are concerned about the duck portion of the bylaws"
"logical concerns"
"sometimes it might be a duck, sometimes it might be a cucumber. certain cucumbers look like a duck"
etc.

c: inter-org interactions
booth orgs are sad we're not doing booth this year

c: ad hoc misapp bylaws
encourages ad hoc interorg to join kgb and submit bylaws amendment

c: assassinate potential future member of exec
*throws id card at freshmen

c: used to be part of kgb
puzzlehunt but nobody shows up

OLD BUSINESS
(omegath meta)???
goes to Ian
not fault = didn't expect to get it every other meeting, but is a proctor and needs to be here
fault = lost the other meta things
"sorry for mitch mcconnel"

orders of the day
fortunately we didn't do that to yourself

NEW BUSINESS
Rauen is the chair

m: untable then table for 4 months every single item in the archive
dilatory

m: untable all thigns from the archive, then looping from the first inde-
dilatory

m: have someone fulfills request of recording rauen running the meeting
tim is doing it

m: call malloc on the hash of last week's minute
hash of last minute is e
what is the current hash? 627220001e2e5a6cf0ee4d8123374d65203ac5c779d1476746bc692d5684572d
uh, pop something from the archive
item 8: pointer 3
which when we dereference it, gives us pointer 2
pointer 3 dereferenced, casted to unsigned int
we are now in discussion of 0.
m: add 3 and then add 4 to 0
amend m: add 4 then add 3
friendly
amend m: add 3 then add recursion depth
friendly
that passed
we are now in discussion of "3 strong second"
m: cast this back to a pointer
m: free
undefined behavior
m: dereference
uhhhhhhhh warning of undefined behavior
m: free
alright. been double freed. it is now very free. so free somebody put it in the constitution and became bad for 300 years
m: banish to shadow realm
this entire thing

stading rule: anyone who makes a pointer joke has to stand in a corner
passed by acclamation

#define the size of an art student = 16
which is the acceptance rate
can't find the actual number of art students here sorry guys
passed by abstention

c: suggestions
p: freshmen still have no idea what we're doing
p of info: can you assassinate dez before election?
it's a repeat of last year
"what if we retroactively make the booth theme berlin wall and just have a wall"
AEPi used to have "foursquare" theme: just had a floor and just played foursquare all weekend
passed by abstention
$2 to Cam. chair=the freshmen

c: i forgot carnival was a thing
p: i kinda forgot carnival existed at all cause we're not doing booth and i was like what the fuck i shappening oh oh that's jank
kate: if i'm not doing build week i won't have a purpose right now and that says something
hey freshmen, yall never had to do floor painting
passed
$2 to Janny. chair=everyone every year who forgets carnival exists when it rolls around

m: alloc <= $169.69 for food and drinks for yall and defectors for this week's events
it's a nice idea

REAL RELEVANT
we have a party we forgot to alloc money for. will find out where defectors party will happen!!!
Event: Defectors Party. Saturday 2pm. email or facebook message. will be fun. come meet alums you don't know

if you have to pay dues you are too late. if you have to pay your debts do so by the start of elections.

we are kgb exec. we meet 5.30pm wednesday uc329.

liam has a party, no dollars allocated. in r7. please show up between 7-8, saturday.

we will build a new mini fence. kate has a poll in facebook! kate will send it to you if you haven't received it already.

SCHMUCKS
itr sometime this week. if you're not in the itr group but would like to be added, tell cam. it's fun!

kate is also hoping to paint the fence during or right before carnival. we will get to meme with the fence. wednesday to thursday night, so it's a meme when carnival starts. message kate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Minutes20190401

2019-04-17T22:10:42Z

Nmongkol: Created page with "EXECC Dez had a weekend. But seeemingly more importantly had a day. probability in computing, get answer right and she had a ta buy things. got dinner rolls and apple juic..."

EXECC
Dez had a weekend. But seeemingly more importantly had a day. probability in computing, get answer right and she had a ta buy things. got dinner rolls and apple juice with cinderella head, toothpaste without toothbrushes, toothbrushes without toothpaste. to different people.

Cam had a weekend. discovered that terminal doesn't have the color set up properly. spent larger amount of time setting up color from vim setup. turnup and every keyword is in bright neon keyword. cannot read anything.
Alums announce themselves
"hello" "ah hi"
We are the CMU KGB and most of us don't know who you are. Kate is contracted a terminal illness and terminally die. Name, what you do, where you're from
Jason. some kind of programmer. 09. fluent in esperanto. had a bagel for breakfast.
Matt. 2006. also some kind of programmer i think. in pittsburgh not for this but for another event. that's very boring.
k?. running for prez of united states. at a kgb meeting.

Kate had a weekend. nonsignificant and high amount of time meddling with flies.
Asher runs for student body prez
Event: tool training.
how to use tools! how to be less scared of saws! send mini fence to its grave and build a new one.

Ellen had a weekend. spent a good amount of time studying in the new tepper quad. judging prospective students and family. checked out parking layer of tepper quad. there's nothing down there. don't go there looking for anything.

Janny had a weekend. Started with cultural org event so couldn't go to GBGC, sorry guys. I was simultaneously going feral over some red diluted syrups and 15213. Spent the rest of the weekend chopping vegetables cause I didn't wanna work anymore.

Rauen missed 2nd meeting in his exec-ness.
Liam: presumably had a weekend. don't know, haven't been in touch for like 2 weeks or more.

Mitch had a weekend. not exactly a weekend. prospective high school student. sat and talked about fortnite.

REPORT COMMITTEES
c: good april fools day joke
furry dating sim, real trailer. real

c: oh fuck i forgot what i named this committee the facebook horribly misinterpreting my life
pregnant, pro life, don't want to keep baby
simultaneously join army and navy
facebook thought kate had interest in high school, military wants to target this.

ad hoc misap c: good april fools day joke
google maps
sigbovik, rashid, 5 oclock
p of info: stackoverflow theme
p of order: that's not a p of info

c: very fake also not actually april fools joke
couple weeks ago using playing cards as taro card, would be run over with a truck at some point

p of info: does this mean i need to frame everything i say with "did you know" or "does this mean"
p of info: more a comment than a question right?

c: culinary standards
brother over for birthday. tried out "curry on murray"
got served frozen curry puffs and walked out

c: nomination
last chance to pay dues: before next meeting starts!!

nominations
liam for S@A
(woody for 2vp)
(woody for 1vp)
woody for prez
janny for 2vp
(dez for recsec)
woody for corsec
mckenna for recsec
dez for corsec
rauen for recsec
james for recsec
rauen withdraws from recsec
kushal for treasurer
(mckenna for 2vp)
(woody for 2vp)
(kushal for 2vp)
(james for 2vp)
(mitchell for prez)
mitchell for 2vp

BUSINESS OLD
The thing at rauen
meta 4 at rauen
goes to liam

Orders of the day
m: #define pot of greed
table for 4 weeks?
change to tabling for 2 weeks twice
no
passed!

BUSINESS NEWS
alloc <= $100 for food and supplies for event
passed

BUSINESS SPECIAL
going to sigbovik

Minutes

2019-04-17T22:09:54Z

Nmongkol: /* 2018-2019 */

MinutesExec20190327

2019-04-01T20:08:13Z

Nmongkol: Created page with "3-27-19 exec meeting in attendance: dez, kate, ellen, mitch, rauen elecc: 1veep election: we have elected cjwong"

3-27-19 exec meeting
in attendance: dez, kate, ellen, mitch, rauen

elecc: 1veep election: we have elected cjwong

Minutes

2019-04-01T20:07:54Z

Nmongkol: /* 2018-2019 */

Minutes20190325

2019-04-01T20:06:45Z

Nmongkol: Created page with "it's 4:35 let's have a meeting dez had a weekend: the event, wherein trivia occurred, followed by dez sitting down, he bought [game] which he can play on his beefy gaming..."

it's 4:35 let's have a meeting
dez had a weekend: the event, wherein trivia occurred, followed by dez sitting down, he bought [game] which he can play on his beefy gaming laptop, game runs at 5-10 fps, he looks it up on reddit, invidia goofed and set the default to run on your integrated graphics no matter what, so dez had to change it and it ran at 80fps

kate: started with trivia in which kate won the most demented looking fucking chocolate lamb which box told a story about the lamb owners when to church! then ate the lamb! easter sunday. we have an event! it's gbgc. it's in phA18*, but you can bring video games to this as well. ctfws rules committee will be on sunday at 2 in a tbd location.

ellen: kansas city closure

rauen: captain marvel. cats are cool. on sunday there was ballroom lessons with a very attractive russian man. everyone's gay, he caught them. good.

mitch: recieved an email everyone else got. but it seemed more aggressive than normal. hello mitchell YANG, would you like to win some airpods?
committee reports
tim: wigglytuff committee: he got an email from his brother with the subject wigglytuf

rauen: what cmu does to you: he fell asleep during dnd so he had it so his character also fell asleep

kate: committeee to assassinate the president: forgot to bring a gun

rauen: committee to assassinate the president: he's getting closer. he doesn't know what's coming

woody: ad hoc dual existence committee: continued success. his twin visited over the weekend. his identical twin. kate requests a photo of them two together. mckenna saw two woodys this weekend.

mitch: committee to assassinate the cmt to assassinate the president: he assassinated kate

tim: nominating committee: rauen for president!! a doc for platforms is available at go.cmukgb.org/platforms. platforms will be published in the special elections edition pravda, OBVIOUSLY.

old business:
who had the thing? meta(3) went to ian. we are back to meta(4). what is not rauen's fault: civil engineers.

tim says we have no quorum and cannot transact business, but it hasn't stopped us before. and there are no orders of the day :o owo OwO OWO

fake new business:
kate: motion to make the children of esl parents support group committee
purpose: band together to figure out what the fuck her mom is trying to text her
kate's mom: did you eat the TSA?
rauen: definitive proof russians are indeed cannibals
kushal: YEET the TSA
kate has never eaten, nor tried to eat, the TSA before, at least not intentionally. nor any part of the taiwanese association
kate's mom: does you collage have the studies?

the attendance is being passed around as a paper apriplane. i'm sorry janny
motion passed
sold for a dollar to kate. chair: anyone else whose parents are esl and send them cryptic messages

mitch: english i've heard committee
purpose: to tell stories about the different englishes we've been told
mitch's teacher: would you like to eat a concubine? we have a lot of them
the committee to eat the TSA approves
the culinary standards committee strongly disapproves
the culinary standards committee redacts its statement and strongly approves
the boolean force aka the buoyant force
the culinary standards committee wishes you to use some chicken buillion cubes
we are in hell!
motion passed
sold for two dollars to mitch. chair: disbanded

woody: committee to eat the tsa
purpose: basically that. when we mean eat, we mean cannibalism. to support TSA vore and also maybe concubines too, and maybe their sisters' zucchini
tim: it's a bad idea
kate: how strongly are yo udefining eat?
woody: hm. not strongly
tim: much like sandwich anarchists, in which sandwiches can take any form, would this committee be an eat anarchist, where eat can take any form?
woody: the organization does not promote acutal cannibalism
rauen: motion to include in the purpose "when we mean eat, we mean cannibalism." passed!
tim: your actions are not endorsed by the kgb as an organization
this committee supported by the department of residential services
kate: the tsa gotta go, they gotta make room in the dorms. THE AIRPORT ONE.
tim: how many TSA employees and or members live in cmu housing?
rauen: unfriendly motion to change the purpose to "to support TSA vore". BUT THE VOTE PASSED.
mitch: is the TSA eater part of the republic of china
rauen: vore is a conspiracy perpetuated by the chinese to devalue american business interests
tim: what about zucchini who work for the tsa in a taiwanese airport? huh?
woody: what about zucchini vore?
kate: does this imply that you don't know what eating is
rauen: if your life's purpose is to be eaten wouldn't you get enjoyment out of it
kate requests her mom be a chair of this committee

janny this is so difficult ;o; kudos

motion passed
committee sold for 3 bucks to woody. chair: woody, kate's mom, and anyone who's ever come in contact with a member of the TSA

tim prompts kate to make an allocation

motion to make an allocation of $50.69 for food and supplies to this week's event.
cam requests a report from the treasurer. rauen reccommends the motion.
IT'S A NICE IDEA
no objection to passing the motion. it passes. been allocated.

kate: motion to slowly thin out the archive before the annual meeting by running the archive. it's a strong motion
item 9: from jan 28, pointer number 2. PLEASE DON'T DEREFERENCE IT.
kushal motions to dereference.
WE DEREFERENCED NULL, FUCK YOU!!!!! CORE DUMPED!!!!

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!
- She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?"
How can you say that?
One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.
Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back.
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
- Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.
- Maybe I am.
- You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in?
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?
That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.
You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...
- Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side.
- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
- You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.
- Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry!
All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?
- Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
- Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!
- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
- Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me!
I don't think these are flowers.
- Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car!
- Do something!
- I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?!
Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical.
It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.
I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?
I'm just saying all life has value. You
don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him.
It's an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.
- Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble.
It's a bee law.
You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking!
I'm so sorry.
No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this
is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird.
- I'm talking with a bee.
- Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful.
I'll leave now.
- Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess.
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.
- That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway...
Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean...
I don't know. Ooffee?
I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose.
- Don't be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some.
- No, I can't.
- Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help.
You look great!
I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No.
He's making the tie in the cab
as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on.
And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
- You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
- Really?
- My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look...
There's my hive right there. See it?
You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.
- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble.
Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb.
- Thanks!
- Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...
This can't possibly work.
He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!
It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy.
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider?
- I'm not attracted to spiders.
I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she?
She's... human.
No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy.
She's so nice. And she's a florist!
Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes
with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over!
Eat this.
This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat.
That's what falls off what they eat!
- You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...
Sit down!
...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them!
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
- Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
There he is. He's in the pool.
You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days!
Why aren't you working?
I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee!
Would it kill you
to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him?
Barry, I'm talking to you!
You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up.
Don't be too long.
Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him.
He doesn't respond to yelling!
- Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go.
- Where are you going?
- I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish.
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere?
It's exhausting. Why don't you
run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That's insane!
You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my.
Dumb bees!
You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper.
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust.
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
You've really got that
down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.
- Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own?
- Well, yes.
- How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it!
There's heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry.
Just what?!
Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have!
And it's on sale?!
I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector.
- You almost done?
- Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk.
And now you'll start talking!
Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends.
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword!
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
Orazy person!
What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere!
Just keep still.
What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you?
- He really is dead.
All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no!
- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?!
How much do you people need to see?!
Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell.
But don't kill no more bugs!
- Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what?
Like tiny screaming.
Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours.
- Bees hang tight.
- We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own.
- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"?
Oh, my!
What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.
Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this?
He's been talking to humans.
- What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do?
Sting them where it really hurts.
In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer.
There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial
of the bee century.
You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots...
Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week!
They're scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.
Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here.
- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.
But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars?
Just one. I try not
to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop.
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done.
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn't the bee team.
You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475,
Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right
to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee!
How do we know this isn't some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here.
I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,
you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!
Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so.
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you.
- No.
- No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees!
How'd you like his head crashing
through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away.
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been
a police officer, have you?
No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I'm feeling
a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume
that you're devilishly handsome
with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this
what it's come to for you?
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir?
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
- Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally?
I'm a florist.
Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken!
- Hello.
I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
So I hear you're quite a tennis player.
I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there.
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what
I was thinking about doing.
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that.
Look at that.
You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue.
Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.
A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!
I think something stinks in here!
I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides!
Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing.
- Am I?
Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings!
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee!
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you're one of them!
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken.
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got
an aftertaste! I like it!
I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well.
Are you OK for the trial?
I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
Good idea! You can really see why he's
considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic
with this jury,
or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them
of what they don't like about bees.
- You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
what I think we'd all like to know.
What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends?
- Yes.
How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug?
I've seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but...
- So those aren't your real parents!
- Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?
He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy!
Adam, don't! It's what he wants!
Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages!
Stinging's the only thing
they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
- Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I?
It doesn't matter. What matters is
you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there's
a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then...
and then ecstasy!
All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my.
Oould you get a nurse
to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke.
Right. Bees don't smoke.
Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over?
Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result,
we don't make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough
of this court's valuable time?
How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that?
It's a bee smoker!
What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do?
- He's playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry.
I'm OK! You know what this means?
All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time.
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time.
Barry, who are you wearing?
My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean?
We've been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods.
Wait for my signal.
Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames...
But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it.
Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production!
Stop making honey!
Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production!
Mission abort.
Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there.
Oh, yeah?
What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn't?
It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well.
And now...
Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better!
They're doing nothing. It's amazing.
Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me?
- This.
What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting.
Doesn't look very good, does it?
No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees?
Specifically, me.
I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
That's our whole SAT test right there.
Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species?
So if there's no more pollination,
it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact?
How do we do it?
- I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry...
sorry, but I gotta get going.
I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going?
To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance
I'll ever have to see it.
Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses.
Roses can't do sports.
Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?!
Barry?
- Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know.
That's why this is the last parade.
Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry!
OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you
with the flower shop.
I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's
greater than my previous ideas combined.
I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park.
- Pollen!
- Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea.
Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it.
- Where should I sit?
- What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses.
- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do.
Hey, what are you doing?!
Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport,
there's no stopping us.
Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it.
I gotta get up there
and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine?
I'd like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing.
Bee!
Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney?
Don't move.
Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One's bald, one's in a boat,
they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot?
He's unconscious,
and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is.
- Who's that?
- Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee.
It's got giant wings, huge engines.
I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry!
We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres.
They've done enough damage.
But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small...
Haven't we heard this a million times?
"The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it.
- Stand by.
- We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs.
But let me tell you about a small job.
If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone.
That's why I want to get bees
back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow.
- Black and yellow!
- Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover.
This isn't so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time.
- That may have been helping me.
- And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out!
Move out!
Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling!
We're in a lot of trouble.
It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this!
Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!
- Hold it!
- Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello?
Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow.
- Hello.
All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy.
Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.
- Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Wait a minute.
I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
Bring the nose down.
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that!
Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?
Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse!
Spin it around!
- Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower!
That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it.
- This is insane, Barry!
- This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!
Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already.
Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?
What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet.
Listen, everyone!
This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth.
That means this is our last chance.
We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychainsa? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain.
Hold on, Barry. Here.
You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
Oh, yeah.
That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time.
I got a feeling we'll be
working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.
Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat!
I had no idea.
Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you.
Sorry I'm late.
He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon!
Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who's next?
All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life!
Let it go, Kenny.
- When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is.
Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee!
- Me?
Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here?
I'm not making a major life decision
during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys.
I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

it's 4:08, let's have a meeting

officer reports:
dez had a segfault: bee movie
kate: bee movie
ellen: i'm not doing any of <that>
rauen: asks for more coins. wack.
mitch: wait, i'm in 213 still?

committee reports:
mckenna: english i've heard committee: she saw a sign in a chinese hotel that was funny. ha ha. INVIGORATE THE VEIN.

james: english i've heard committee: he saw a coffee shop in korea that was called "i AM coffee"

tim: nominating committee: rauen nominates himself for treasurer.

kate: children of esl support group: she was vaccinated against chicken pox

rauen: same: rauen's mom is mad at the word girlfriends

kate: same: as is her mom!!!

old business:
the meta(4) thing goes to rauen, the kgb's finances are not his fault but the core dumb is.

new business:
cam: asks if those pointers are still in the archive. no

rauen: standing rule "burn the archives" that would choose five things from the archives with replacement, and if they have any pointers in them at all, then take them out of the archives.
the motion failed

mitch: is it possible to make more than 3 joke nominations in a physical day by segfaulting? no it would read the jokes on boot-up and end the nominations.
rauen: are we a technocracy?
tim: a lot closer to it then this club has been before

woody moves to run the archives
#5: nov 12, the connor memorial committee memorial committee with the purpose "we know he knows what he did"
kate: doesn't know what he did
kushal: he betrayed the yellow team
cam motions to put it back in the archives. it passed! bye!!!

woody moves to run the archives
#2: sept 17 and oct 29, the archive committee with the purpose "success"
rauen motions to replace the purpose with "success" passed!
motion passed
sold for $1 to tim, chair: tim, ian, dez, nicholas rauen, richolas nauen

real relevant announcements:
exec meets at 5:30 in UC 329 now!!

we have event, so come to it, or else, ya see?

tim reminds you to pay your dues if you are running for office

nominate yourself for 1veep if u want. cmukgb.org/1veep

schmucks:
tim: if you are interested in nerf things, a staff member is interested in starting a cmu nerf wars thing and they want to recruit us, talk to tim if you have interest... you may have to run it... hm

tim: motion to purple

tim: motion to seafoam green

tim: motion to adjourn and gtfo. let's get food!

Minutes

2019-04-01T19:36:43Z

Nmongkol: /* 2018-2019 */

MinutesExec20190320

2019-03-21T01:05:11Z

Nmongkol: Created page with "ATTENDANCE - all TREASURER VOTE - N Rauen is now the treasurer"

ATTENDANCE
- all

TREASURER VOTE
- N Rauen is now the treasurer

MinutesExec20190306

2019-03-21T01:04:42Z

Nmongkol: Created page with "ATTENDANCE - Kate - Ellen - Janny - Mitchell EXEC TRANSITION Voting: - President election: Dez Vacancy: - Treasurer - In the mean tim..."

ATTENDANCE
- Kate
- Ellen
- Janny
- Mitchell

EXEC TRANSITION
Voting:
- President election: Dez

Vacancy:
- Treasurer
- In the mean time, when there is no treasurer, Janny the RecSec will collect and distribute KGB funds.
- 1VP

MinutesExec20190220

2019-03-21T01:04:17Z

Nmongkol: Created page with "EXEC ATTENDANCE - everyone MINUTES - Ian is stepping down as president. - Nom Com = Tim, Ian, Joy, Cam. With Kate as an emergency proctor, in case Joy and Cam ca..."

EXEC ATTENDANCE
- everyone

MINUTES
- Ian is stepping down as president.
- Nom Com = Tim, Ian, Joy, Cam. With Kate as an emergency proctor, in case Joy and Cam can't be there.

Minutes

2019-03-21T01:03:39Z

Nmongkol: /* 2018-2019 */

Minutes20190318

2019-03-21T01:02:21Z

Nmongkol: Created page with "EXEC Dez had a break. DC. hanging out with henry & brother. oh god two of them. they just dont stop ever. they're the same man. Kate had a break. mostly fine. philly...."

EXEC
Dez had a break. DC. hanging out with henry & brother. oh god two of them. they just dont stop ever. they're the same man.

Kate had a break. mostly fine. philly. hung out with mom, russian woman, not the best english. a bit socially confused. reconnected with friend who likes philly theater. went to theater with kate. turns out to be drag carbaret. mom "this...is more for the gays right"
Event: Trivia Night ft. you fucks
obscure random stupid topics. inform the kgb about this topic? let kate know, today hopefully. write some questions. exec or YOU will present them.
Friday. PH A18A
CtFwS Rules: Thursday 7pm.
show up if interested in making changes for rules

Ellen. [Kansas city ads] Also have pravda.

Janny had a break. stayed at my sister's apartment, cornell. colelge campus that doesn't exude death.

No treasurer. Ian. Aren spent money on art supplies. throw money or toss.

Mitchell had a break. became a human chair

COM REPORTS
c: ww2 history
will do trivia category whether or not you let me

c: to be overheard
told goran woody's gonna assassinate the prez. got a lot of weird looks.

c: assassinate the president
new recruits!
(a lot of wonderful nerf guns from the freshmen. good job freshmen.)

c: nominating
nominations
Woody for S@A
Vivian for S@A
Woody for recsec
Rauen for S@A
Ellen for S@A
Liam for 1vp
Liam for treasurer
James for treasurer

c: stupid pr rangers
new season of super sentai: ryusoulger

c: where is cameron james wong
not at school. didn't check text.

OLD BUSINESS
the thing
is in Maine
(meta4) at Shelby
(meta3) goes to Ian
not fault = the fact that lobsters aren't from Maine. they're from the fucking ocean.
fault = national water around maine that's considered maine by the government, and where lobsters come from

orders of the day
#define i play pot of greed
table for exactly 2 weeks
passed

NEW BUSINESS
c: confusing facebook advertisement
p: to explore the weird ways that facebook is wrong about the contents that you want to see
Kate - "is god calling you to be a catholic sister or nun? sign up if you're catholic single women. it only takes a few minute"
Ian - atheists ad and furry
Mitchell - apply to Penn State, constantly
Rauen - maybe i should transfer to penn state
Mckenna - top interests are education and woods
Kate - Facebook thought Kate was pro-life, pregnant, and didn't want her baby. sent pro-life adoption services
Liam - sponsored tweets are shitposts, tech startups, right wing nationalism
change p: more dennis prager
nah
Rauen - anti feminist tennis, just tennis
Summary:
passed
$3 to Kate. chair=kate or anyone who has stories to tell

run the archive
Feb 4th.
pointer to discussion of the standing rule that allows us to create a pointer
dereference
m: fail this standing rule
will still be in the book
table for 5 years
passed

c: out of ord
p: the alphabet but in the wrong order
new c: out of order
friendly. been done.
m: sort name and purpose of this committee
failed!!
m: sort the phrase call to question alphabetically and do that
dilatory
Summary:
c: out of order
p: the alphabet but in the wrong order
passed by abstention
$4 to Janny. chair=haha now i own the out of order committee

c: ben shapiro's favorite method of communication
p: fax
new p: charlie curtis' shrinking face
friendly been changed
passed by abstention
$1 to Ian. chair=bean shapiro

m: make that image of bean shapiro the fursona of this committee
unseconded

alloc <= $50 for food and drinks for this week's event
m: append $.69 for this alloc
passed
Summary: alloc <= $50.69 for food and drinks for this week's event
it's a nice idea

c: zeno memorial
p: impossible. everytime we need to vote to make motion succeed, need half the required vote. so any motion cannot be passed.
ad hoc im not a math major and as a result i don't hate my life committee would like to report: :)
call to question
passed
$2 to Liam. chair=one half of a person (some person, somewhere)

REAL ANNOUNCE
kgb exec. wednesday 3.30pm in uc 329. open to public.

nominations to fill the vacancy
treasurer - closes today
1veep - closes after next monday
if you're interested in being on exec for 3-4 weeks, apply!!!

we have an event! trivia night. if you Know Things, or "things", tell kate you wanna tell us about your bullshit. submit questions by wednesday or thursday. teach us about them!!

CtFwS rules com: thursday 7pm, kate will let you know where it is. please tell kate if you wanna come.

pay your dues! if you haven't done it already.

SCHMUCKS
when the clock doesn't say 4:20, it says 3-18=-15

ScottyCon in March 30. tinyurl.com/scottycon2019

itr this saturday 10pm wean 4 stab jasper

"have i ever complained about how the cmu esports club is? they only play the big shit and it's really gross?"

c: out of order
out of order

c: broken records
seafoam green
out of order

rauen hosting fencing this saturday in the uc, if you wanna come and watch they'll be in wiegand, running around in a suit yelling at people

Minutes

2019-03-21T01:00:18Z

Nmongkol: /* 2018-2019 */

Minutes20190304

2019-03-18T19:57:00Z

Nmongkol:

EXEC
Still isn't a president. Who would like to be the new location of the pointer that previously held Ian when dereferenced.
Liam. didn't have a weekend because abstract concept cannot experience time. ctfws. loud. jump

Dez had a weekend. CtFws. woke up to do prep for R7. muscle for T-posing sore. can't get out of bed without sore.

Kate had a weekend. Liam lost 200 points for team by T-posing. team still won. Saturday did not illegal thing. in fact 21. great time.
Event: not kate's problem, haha
Unimportant films. Friday 7pm. Dh A302, likely. will see what registrar does.

Ellen is not here. Kate is ellen. I'm really sad, i still live on campus so have to deal with housing service. also none of you submit to pravda. submit to pravda.

Janny had a weekend. started with spontaneous bubble tea. then ctfws. danced at the red jail with a bunch of uncaptured yellow people.

Aren had a weekend. ctfws. made gummies. used human thermometer to measure temp instead of gummy thermometer.
Aren is resigning from being a treasurer, and is quitting the org. form closes Tuesday March 19.

Mitchell had a weekend. overheard a conversation. talking about hot professors
on the projector: randy bryant
dylan gave him a nickname because he did graphs with rats, and copy pasted assignments.

COM REPORTS
c: misapp ctfws rules
ray, it's not how that works. can't just capture a jail, come on
if you have suggestions on how to make ctfws work, or wanna do dumb shit with game 4. if you're interested at all in modifying ctfws rules, tell kate or tell anyone on exec.
exec at cmukgb dot org

c: ad hoc i'm never gonna give this up
that might be the case. we still know the true Objective is to capture the jail.
p of info: are you gonna let us down

c: im a physicist and i hate my life
didn't buy $60 text book, he made soph physicists suffer through electronics. none of the people asked have textbook for the homework questions

NOM COM
c: nominating
Annual Meeting: Monday April 15, 2019 at 4.30pm.
This meeting often takes more than usual, maybe until 6.30pm
if you plan to run, submit a platform! what you wanna say to the general body. explain your qualifications, make empty promises, etc.
not mandatory but election edition pravda may be put together.
eligibility
Voting members
in good standing: pay your dues, pay off all debts before annual meeting
attended a meeting prior to annual meeting
quorum
50% of voting members
75% of active members
absentee voters count towards this
email to the proctors by 4pm, the day of election
voting
bring scissors to cut the ballot!
abstain by not turning in your ballot slip, or turn in an empty ballot slip
write numbers on the slips, rank who you prefer
nomination
talk to exec or nom com to learn more about positions!
nomination is from now through april 4
if you wish to rescind, tell nom com during nomination
nominations for today
Dez for prez
Mitch for 2vp
x Artemis for S@A
Kushal for S@A
James for S@A
Mckenna for S@A
(Ray for S@A)
(Dez for S@A)
Mckenna for corsec
Janny for 1vp
x Mitch for 1vp
Gabe for S@A
(nom com for prez)

OLD BUSINESS
(meta3) spirit of the thing at Woody
(meta4) goes to Shelby
not fault=missing ctfws cause old and tired
fault=being old and tired

Orders of the day
none

NEW BUSINESS
run the archive
Feb 18, Feb 18:
c: wip not a zip bomb
p: placeholder pointer to itself pointer to itself
pointer: this motion
pointer: this motion
earmark for purposes other than shadow realms
out of order
passed by abstention.
banish to shadow realm
passed.
$3 to Tim. chair=the super power set of a $2 bill, $1 bill, and a satisfying kaboom

m: woody walk to shelby, give her meta3, and sit down
dilatory.

m: affirm slate of proctors
yes we trust the proctors
passed

m: affirm the proctors as totally lame yo

c: liam's just jelly
p: grapes or raspberry?
c:culinary standards endorses strawberry
c:culinary standards creates a pointer to the grape jelly and send it to the shadow realm
dilatory
p of info: onion jam, tomato jam, corn on a cob jam, bacon jam, etc.
culinary standards endorses onion and tomato jams
p of info: committee responds on corn OF the cob jam
also condemns
m: disband culinary standards
dilatory
$1 to Liam. chair=whatever nom com currently

c: digital sports
p: get ready female gaming community! high time we do something for the female consumers. stay strong. tag every female gamer you know. etc.
"we really do live in a society"
explanation: this morning cranium apparel posted that tweet, followed by their esport dress.
they revealed they didn't consult any women while making this product.
new p: unfortunately no
passed
summary
c: digital sports
p: unfortunately no
$1 to Liam. chair=esports dress

REAL ANNOUNCE
we have an event! midsemester movie night. unimportant film 3. Friday 7pm. DH A302. come hang out before you leave for break

CtFwS rules com will meet after break. let kate/someone on exec know.

Aren is resigning as treasurer. grace period until friday. any dues/money things, come to Aren.
cmukgb.org/treasurer to apply to fill this vacancy. open until March 19.
freshmen can be treasurer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you're interested in dealing with our money for a month, fill out the form

pay your dues. pay your dues so you can vote. pay while you can. pay no later than before the meeting begins on april 8, in order to be able to vote or run

we are kgb exec. we meet wednesday 3.30pm in uc 329. come if you're interested in how exec works. our meetings are open to the general body.

cmukgb.org/president form expires

SCHMUCKS
c: stupid pr facts
power rangers beast morphers!

during meeting, artemis had fun figuring out how to opt out of mandatory arbitration agreement. when you vote in europe, you are dealing with three separate organizations. naional, european, greens (group of parties)
fun fact: green party in the us = survey monkey

2018-12-10T00:46:32Z

Nmongkol:

Minutes20181203

2018-12-10T00:45:35Z

Nmongkol: Created page with "EXEC Ian is not here. Liam is Ian. Liam had a weekend. did something on saturday. went to fucking r7 and shitposted about god and grades. it was awful. can't eat spicy foo..."

EXEC
Ian is not here. Liam is Ian. Liam had a weekend. did something on saturday. went to fucking r7 and shitposted about god and grades. it was awful. can't eat spicy food.

Dez had a weekend. no one new. don't have to do the thing. started with event where pigeons happened. remembered that liked video games and spent too much time.

Kate had a weekend. played pigeon boys. went over the one who's actually a pigeon. also couldn't eat spicy food. got locked out of game.
Event: KGB Falls On Its Ass. ice skating in schenley park! Friday 6pm at Black Chairs. will walk over. if you can't make it when we leave, let kate know.
<= $8 for rentals and skating. if you can't cover that cost, let kate know. we have spare money to cover you guys.
it's gonna be a fun time. come with us. hopefully won't fall on its ass.
Next Event: get food on wednesday of finals week. Cheesecake Factory. RSVP if you wanna go. it's on Facebook, or cmukgb.org/eat

Ellen had a weekend. eloped with a pigeon. study at local library.

Janny had a weekend. also played pigeon and voiced a pigeon teacher. spent weekend trying to do laundry and some homework.
Hash is 1

Aren had a weekend. on top of video game night was arm day. went to the gym and only do arms. then carried so many things for vdo game night. also moved arms when playing video game.

Mitch had a weekend. with the rest of committee, decided to date the actual pigeon over the anime boys.

COM REPORTS
C: super trash brothers
every appearance thus far, ice can kill you no matter what. am taking bet for an ice climbers infinite.

C: stupid pr facts
popery. interesting fun fact that we just found.
1. we have an event. Sentai with Senpai. Thursday 8pm. WEH 5320 assuming registrar is nice.
2. Marvel Japan is the reason that pr has mechas. also co-created the 3rd, 4th, and 5th seasons of super sentai. we're on 42th
3. magic sentai magiranger = wizards, family, magic
ninja sentai hurricanger = got harry potter, name contracted from japanese version of hp and the philos stone.

C: assasinate prez
can't confirm he's not dead

C: friends
disposing waste in the forest. if you take your trash to the forest to get rid of it, you go uphill. they'll check downhill. nobody would drag it uphill.

C: bullshit internet drama
tumblr officially banning porn.
goran "shit!"
bone witch. tumblr had a literal witch hunt from a callout post of some witch claims to steal body remains. went to her house. actual visits to house. she gave officers the human remains.

C: stupid history
fidel castro ft. the cia
prez of cuba for a while. cia didn't like that so tried to kill him. 638 attempts. included exploding cuban cigars. subcontract mafia. blow up. poison in milkshake (he had 1 milkshake per day). poison blew off in cold weather. destroy his beard, poison to make his beard to fall out, to destroy his popularity. his beard is very nice. 1.5 assassination attempts per month for 40 years. he died at home surrounded by his family.

C: ad hoc rauen is the villain
now have goal of subcontracting the mafia

C: ww2 history is dumb 1/3
porsche tiger?
nazi wanted a new heavy tank. stupid design that was not used, but 100s of them already manufactured. now they had 100s of them lying around.

C: comics are bullshit
batman villain: the kgbeast
cybernetically enhanced villains by the soviet in 1988. tried to assassinate ronald reagan. take down missiles with lasers and found out it's hard to do that. killed a bunch of people. failed to assassinate rr. locked up in a room to die but didn't. continue to fight batman for 30 years. even after the soviet ended. they lived on.

C: kgb history
1988 = year that cmu kgb was founded. and we still live on.
p of info = fall of 87!
but 88 was the first prez we know

C: culinary standards
condemn cheesecake factory

C: super trash bros
don't have switch. if you buy liam will try to play it.

OLD BUSINESS
The thing (spirit)
at = Liam
goes to = Janny
not fault = m to discretely ask dez to not ask for orders of the day
fault = about to ask for orders of the day

>:(

Orders of the day
1. time capsule
prepend: "new funky mode"
antiseconded
append: "rip tumblr porn"
passed
note that anything that is appended is before "if you like this consider tabling this for another 5 years"
m: table until after winter break
passed!

NEW BUSINESS
C: interesting fashion choices
P: [[picture on instagram]]
m: post this to tumblr as porn
nah
passed.
$1 to Liam. chair=anyone who has a country on their chest in any way, shape, or form.

C: unfortunate singular noun
P: kgb falls on its ass implies that kgb has a singular ass. goal = who that ass is
m: propose Dez as ass of the kgb
dilatory
m: propose whoever 1vp is as the ass of the kgb
we're in a committee, but we can create the com and create a special motion.
1. can decide the ass why who is fallen on the most this friday.
dilatory
oh god don't fall on your ass
2. whoever is the current chair of the meeting, who dictates what we can create in the meeting, is the ass.
you failed to make "Dez is a fascist joke"
$1 to Liam. chair=the nuts of the kgb

C: to overthrow the tyrant
P: down with dez. down with dez. down with dez. down with dez. down with dez.
m: replace "down with dez." with "dez for prez"
antiseconded
m: replace "down with dez." with "anyone but dezident for anything but president"
very friendly and seconded.
it's a good idea!
been changed.
new P: anyone but dezident for anything but president. anyone but dezident for anything but president. anyone but dezident for anything but president. anyone but dezident for anything but president. anyone but dezident for anything but president.

nicene conference c: appoint kushal as the bishop
our ruler is measured in janny length, which is the length of a janny.
the chair (dez) is 1.1 janny lengths

m: replace with "anything that is president"
friendly.
m: fight that
passed. same purpose

Summary:
C: to overthrow the tyrant
P: anyone but dezident for anything but president. anyone but dezident for anything but president. anyone but dezident for anything but president. anyone but dezident for anything but president. anyone but dezident for anything but president.

$1 to Henry. chair=myself and anyone who values freedom. whatever the cia defines as freedom.

Standing rule: "m to fight that" is always in order
history: "fight me" = alskdjfhalksdjhf
has sat down
m: define "m to fight that" = undo the previous motion iff it (the previous motion) was confirmed by the person who made the com rather than voted on
passed!
so, "m to fight that" allows you to fight the friendliness of the previous motion
henry "this is how democracy die"
m: murder democracy
that's been done
passed!

we have reached our hash limit.

report from C: to confuse the prez
we now have 2 standing rules ian doesn't know about

C: markov chain and wellness
P: markov on the part you hate.
ken hovis. combine everyone's rants.
"please do not make future generations of mcs students waste their time like i wasted mine" fish fish fish
henry = watched "the inconvenience truth" and wrote about algore
cory's works cited for engage essay
1. king james bible
2. talk called the mindful brain
3. cited ken hovis because the sentence is his intellectual property
$2 to rauen

M: alloc <=$50 to cover people's admission to this event.
it's a good idea

M: salute dr. ken hovis, phd
p of info: mr. dr. prof. ken hovis

C: tumblr porn memorial
P: print out several hundred pages of tumblr porn and nail it to ben shapiro
woody memorial com: we cannot prove that woody is not, in fact, dead
two years ago, one floor on stever printed memes of their ra and posted it all over campus. it was multiple people's total printer quotas. all in color. multiple people messaged them to take it down.
passed.
$1 to Matt. chair=ben shapiro?

REAL ANNOUNCE
hi yeah we have an event!
This Friday: kgb falls on its ass. black chairs 6pm friday. if you can't afford the $8 fee, tell kate.
Next Wednesday: Geek Eat! 5pm reservation rn. meeting at 4pm to head out. please rsvp & bring your id so you can take the bus!
vote at the link on facebook or cmukgb.org/eat

aren found out that there's some issue with the spreadsheet. aren's freezing spreadsheet until it's fixed. don't pay aren until then.

there is a meeting next week. short one. we don't have this room but will let you know what room will be available.

SCHMUCKS
stupid pr facts! sentai with senpai! thursday dec 13, probably at 8 or 8.30. some watch ss! WEH 5320, assuming the registrar plays nice. if something else happens, will let you know.

cmu kgb war criminals: will run big game of civiliation 5 over winter break. tell henry if interested.

info: this room is free and doesn't have an exam next week. has 4.30 exam

super trash bros: let liam know if you have game.

Minutes20181126

2018-12-10T00:41:58Z

Nmongkol:

EXEC
Ian had a break. justyn, the boy, came over and stayed at house with parents. they're like ah yeah he's like a good boy. went to same place for thanksgiving. nothing about furry happened. traditional thanksgiving experience: heated political argument at the end. for some reasons, conversation about some documentaries about what if ww2 germany had more access to scientists. tried to engage justyn, a physicist, about opinions on nuclear war.
justyn "uh uhh. it's bad?"
someone thought it was boring so doubled down.
"what's your opinion on legalization of marijuana"
justyn "eh"
"but we just got rid of cigarettes. when i was in high school, you couldn't go into the bathroom without being full of cigarette smoke? can you go to school bathroom without cig smoke? then you don't understand."
"there might be economic benefits"
"we tried it in atlantic city."
"that's not a fair analogy"
"what's your opinion on sex ed"
"it's a bodily function"
"alcohol is a liquor, not a drug"
then went to an arcade to play rhythm game that has guns.
Liam "finally a rhythm game that can catch on in america"

Dez had a weekend. went to DC and stayed there in the same house the whole time. great cause get to not move and not do a whole lot. no new people don't have to do shit.

Kate had a break. got on greyhound to go home, ray being there. watched girl who got dragon maid with anime titties. surprisingly wholesome. spent time with family which is always exciting. dad insulted mom's whole family. conversation about aunt about learning to communicate from kids not her parents. surprisingly wholesome. end of report. oh shit you right.
Event: Ice Cream Socialism XOR Vidja
complications. not sure if we can obtain liquid nitrogen. every effort to make it happen, even if it's next semester.
if we can't have ice cream, will have video game night.
if no video game night, usually play video game afterwards anyway. will be chill.
will let you know when and where by the end of tues/wed

Ellen had a break. visited grandparents in florida. nice weather. mass two times. thankgiving = speedrun mass = no music, which cuts it down by about half. now i'm back.

Janny had a break. it was filled with sleep. for my nlp class i had to implement a grammar, meaning i could generate sentences randomly. most of them are shit, but the grammatical ones include "I am my sacred legs" and "no person is moistened"
Hash is 6.

Aren is not here.
Jonathan wanna be Aren but is not Aren. please help. Liam "p of privilege, i'm already Aren"
Jonathan "if you hit me, i will become Aren"
I had a break. kinda just stayed here. you know i'm gonna be seeing the same limited family for a couple of weeks for a whole month. dad came to visit 2 weeks ago. relaxing break. recommends not having to deal with thanksgiving. i am the shield.

Mitchell had a weekend. went home for thanksgiving. fierce competition for t shit designs. well just kidding.

COMMITTEE REPORTS
C: for wearing kgb swags
continued failure. noticed people were looking at me.
C: i'm a physicist and i hate my life
very cold things.
icicle senior. 3rd ice themed villain on the flash. absolute zero again. got infinite phds. also gun that shoots absolute zero. use it to rob banks. dressed up in a parka with really nice hood and glasses of explorers in the arctic. robbed banks in the only city that has the flash. he could have just sold it for infinite money.
p of science: if a particle is at absolute zero, it would be everywhere
C: super trash bros
hacked and released online
C: ad hoc nepotism
during thanksgiving. got to hear aunt, an actual member of house of rep, talking about hating someone
C: stupid pr facts
names. certain things you leave in japanese cause if you don't it sounds stupid. "kyuranger" would have become "ninerangers". "shinkenger" would be "serious ranger"
they also do things with team member names. in "kyoryuger", 1st letter of team members spell out dinosaurs. if you take japanese one, it spells dinosaur in japanese.
lupinrangers = member names forms "kaitou", police = "keisatsu"
p of info: glad to see dc backronym intern has a new career in pr

1VP: new member
Skye. not a cmu student, was doing computer science somewhere else. from pittsburgh. my pants are blue.

C: support group for ex-choir kids
cousins don't have piano. will do it this week.

C: namespace collision
ah yes. now another skye who's not a cmu student but also in computer science

C: ad hoc kgb historians
used to have worse. mike m? emailed mike murphy ended up emailing student affairs mike murphy
"hey mike, i think you mean a different mike. thanks, mike"

C: stupid history
something we covered in past years: bad forms of government
tetrarchy. roman emperor. east + west, each with subemperors. each given a quarter of roman empire. made it wasier, but each person got their own army and wanted to be the emperor of rome. had a tournament. fight! then a new tetrarchy was born. it happened again adn then we got constantine.

C: ad hoc george rr martin god?
follow up: that's the plot of game of thrones

C: woody memorial
christmas soon. 63 days = funeral. jan 28th, moved from july 3rd.

C: connor memorial
funeral needs a body. not necessarily mine.

C: misapp. kushal vampire lord.
can put not necessarily all the way dead person into the funeral

C: misapp. george r martin god
in the last week, part 1 of history book that seems to be more enjoyable. half of it is just roman history ripoff.

C: ad hoc shonen jump is shonen
battle royale is not true if it doesn't span two seasons and a movie, with protag fighting the rival and teaching them about friendship

C: ad hoc
woody memorial: middle of the ? is international waters

OLD BUSINESS
The thing
at??
goes to Liam
not fault = sports anime
fault = sports without anime and anime without sports.

Orders of the day
1. #define i play pot of greed
tabled
2. time capsule
append P: this committee is brought to you by r7 colonial, i'm a physicist and i hate my life, stupid history, comics are bullshit, stupid power ranger facts, culinary standards,
insert after "oracle": registered, trademark, creative commons, etc
append P at the end: if you like it, consider tabling this for another 5 year
at various points in the sponsor list, append: broken records
p of advice: if this comes up, table for 1 week. we table for 20 years if we table it for 1 week fails.
m: two copies of the motion.
can't have exact copies.
table for 1 week and deal with it then.

NEW BUSINESS
alloc <=$50 for food and supplies for this week's event
it's a good idea
objection: kgb libertarian doesn't recognize quantum money. we need a firm idea on what to spend money on
this is probablistic, not quantum
C: kellyanne conway appreciation
P: requesting a report from Ian
"y'all are at least 4 degrees of separation from donald trump. someone called her auntie"
m: denounce all graphs
been denounced
math privilege com: cs is just solved parts of math and physics
cs has unsolved!!
passed by abstention.
$2 to Dez. chair=separation exactly 12 from kellyanne conway

C: focus group on getting away with murder
P: workshop your political agendas
m: ban woody from this club
p of info: if you have a committee and meetings and take minutes, janny will post it
$6 to Dez. chair=actual chair of kushal vampire lord com (woody)

C: make janny's life incrementally worse for no purpose whatsoever
P: wikipedia has 88 thousand articles. need com to discuss all of them
p of info: if you have committee and meeting, YOU make the minutes. janny POSTS the minutes.
P:replace the word "for no purpose whatsover" with "for exactly this one purpose:"
friendly
$2 to Henry. chair=vornskyr of the planet mykr

C: nihilism
P: vat. v r nihilists. zat is no purpose.
$2 to Cory. chair=jackie treehorn

REAL ANNOUNCE

event: either ice cream socialism or vidja
will let you know as soon as you know.
will have sign up sheet for games, on facebook
yea

let liam know about dietary restrictions or allergies

kgb exec. there's usually also aren. meetings thursday 6pm in uc329. meetings are open. agendas have wordart in it now. as long as formatting doesn't get in the way of what we do, it's ok. bring food.

SCHMAKS
super sentai with matt!! likely sometime over finals week.
"it's sentai and it's art"
"sentai with senpai"
grand strategy war games. civilization 5 with henry. team of 3. want large number of people. sometime over break.
m: formally denounce matt if he doesn't call the event "sentai with senpai"
scs puzzlehunt. february. puzzles about courses from cs track.
"hi i'm cory and several of you are my friends. some of you doesn't know me that well. if you are a nihilist, likes russian, vaginal art, etc will watch lebowski"

Minutes20181126

2018-12-10T00:41:39Z

Nmongkol:

EXEC
Ian had a break. justyn, the boy, came over and stayed at house with parents. they're like ah yeah he's like a good boy. went to same place for thanksgiving. nothing about furry happened. traditional thanksgiving experience: heated political argument at the end. for some reasons, conversation about some documentaries about what if ww2 germany had more access to scientists. tried to engage justyn, a physicist, about opinions on nuclear war.
justyn "uh uhh. it's bad?"
someone thought it was boring so doubled down.
"what's your opinion on legalization of marijuana"
justyn "eh"
"but we just got rid of cigarettes. when i was in high school, you couldn't go into the bathroom without being full of cigarette smoke? can you go to school bathroom without cig smoke? then you don't understand."
"there might be economic benefits"
"we tried it in atlantic city."
"that's not a fair analogy"
"what's your opinion on sex ed"
"it's a bodily function"
"alcohol is a liquor, not a drug"

then went to an arcade to play rhythm game that has guns.
Liam "finally a rhythm game that can catch on in america"
Dez had a weekend. went to DC and stayed there in the same house the whole time. great cause get to not move and not do a whole lot. no new people don't have to do shit.

Kate had a break. got on greyhound to go home, ray being there. watched girl who got dragon maid with anime titties. surprisingly wholesome. spent time with family which is always exciting. dad insulted mom's whole family. conversation about aunt about learning to communicate from kids not her parents. surprisingly wholesome. end of report. oh shit you right.
Event: Ice Cream Socialism XOR Vidja
complications. not sure if we can obtain liquid nitrogen. every effort to make it happen, even if it's next semester.
if we can't have ice cream, will have video game night.
if no video game night, usually play video game afterwards anyway. will be chill.
will let you know when and where by the end of tues/wed

Ellen had a break. visited grandparents in florida. nice weather. mass two times. thankgiving = speedrun mass = no music, which cuts it down by about half. now i'm back.

Janny had a break. it was filled with sleep. for my nlp class i had to implement a grammar, meaning i could generate sentences randomly. most of them are shit, but the grammatical ones include "I am my sacred legs" and "no person is moistened"
Hash is 6.

Aren is not here.
Jonathan wanna be Aren but is not Aren. please help. Liam "p of privilege, i'm already Aren"
Jonathan "if you hit me, i will become Aren"
I had a break. kinda just stayed here. you know i'm gonna be seeing the same limited family for a couple of weeks for a whole month. dad came to visit 2 weeks ago. relaxing break. recommends not having to deal with thanksgiving. i am the shield.

Mitchell had a weekend. went home for thanksgiving. fierce competition for t shit designs. well just kidding.

COMMITTEE REPORTS
C: for wearing kgb swags
continued failure. noticed people were looking at me.
C: i'm a physicist and i hate my life
very cold things.
icicle senior. 3rd ice themed villain on the flash. absolute zero again. got infinite phds. also gun that shoots absolute zero. use it to rob banks. dressed up in a parka with really nice hood and glasses of explorers in the arctic. robbed banks in the only city that has the flash. he could have just sold it for infinite money.
p of science: if a particle is at absolute zero, it would be everywhere
C: super trash bros
hacked and released online
C: ad hoc nepotism
during thanksgiving. got to hear aunt, an actual member of house of rep, talking about hating someone
C: stupid pr facts
names. certain things you leave in japanese cause if you don't it sounds stupid. "kyuranger" would have become "ninerangers". "shinkenger" would be "serious ranger"
they also do things with team member names. in "kyoryuger", 1st letter of team members spell out dinosaurs. if you take japanese one, it spells dinosaur in japanese.
lupinrangers = member names forms "kaitou", police = "keisatsu"
p of info: glad to see dc backronym intern has a new career in pr

1VP: new member
Skye. not a cmu student, was doing computer science somewhere else. from pittsburgh. my pants are blue.

C: support group for ex-choir kids
cousins don't have piano. will do it this week.

C: namespace collision
ah yes. now another skye who's not a cmu student but also in computer science

C: ad hoc kgb historians
used to have worse. mike m? emailed mike murphy ended up emailing student affairs mike murphy
"hey mike, i think you mean a different mike. thanks, mike"

C: stupid history
something we covered in past years: bad forms of government
tetrarchy. roman emperor. east + west, each with subemperors. each given a quarter of roman empire. made it wasier, but each person got their own army and wanted to be the emperor of rome. had a tournament. fight! then a new tetrarchy was born. it happened again adn then we got constantine.

C: ad hoc george rr martin god?
follow up: that's the plot of game of thrones

C: woody memorial
christmas soon. 63 days = funeral. jan 28th, moved from july 3rd.

C: connor memorial
funeral needs a body. not necessarily mine.

C: misapp. kushal vampire lord.
can put not necessarily all the way dead person into the funeral

C: misapp. george r martin god
in the last week, part 1 of history book that seems to be more enjoyable. half of it is just roman history ripoff.

C: ad hoc shonen jump is shonen
battle royale is not true if it doesn't span two seasons and a movie, with protag fighting the rival and teaching them about friendship

C: ad hoc
woody memorial: middle of the ? is international waters

OLD BUSINESS
The thing
at??
goes to Liam
not fault = sports anime
fault = sports without anime and anime without sports.

Orders of the day
1. #define i play pot of greed
tabled
2. time capsule
append P: this committee is brought to you by r7 colonial, i'm a physicist and i hate my life, stupid history, comics are bullshit, stupid power ranger facts, culinary standards,
insert after "oracle": registered, trademark, creative commons, etc
append P at the end: if you like it, consider tabling this for another 5 year
at various points in the sponsor list, append: broken records
p of advice: if this comes up, table for 1 week. we table for 20 years if we table it for 1 week fails.
m: two copies of the motion.
can't have exact copies.
table for 1 week and deal with it then.

NEW BUSINESS
alloc <=$50 for food and supplies for this week's event
it's a good idea
objection: kgb libertarian doesn't recognize quantum money. we need a firm idea on what to spend money on
this is probablistic, not quantum
C: kellyanne conway appreciation
P: requesting a report from Ian
"y'all are at least 4 degrees of separation from donald trump. someone called her auntie"
m: denounce all graphs
been denounced
math privilege com: cs is just solved parts of math and physics
cs has unsolved!!
passed by abstention.
$2 to Dez. chair=separation exactly 12 from kellyanne conway

C: focus group on getting away with murder
P: workshop your political agendas
m: ban woody from this club
p of info: if you have a committee and meetings and take minutes, janny will post it
$6 to Dez. chair=actual chair of kushal vampire lord com (woody)

C: make janny's life incrementally worse for no purpose whatsoever
P: wikipedia has 88 thousand articles. need com to discuss all of them
p of info: if you have committee and meeting, YOU make the minutes. janny POSTS the minutes.
P:replace the word "for no purpose whatsover" with "for exactly this one purpose:"
friendly
$2 to Henry. chair=vornskyr of the planet mykr

C: nihilism
P: vat. v r nihilists. zat is no purpose.
$2 to Cory. chair=jackie treehorn

REAL ANNOUNCE

event: either ice cream socialism or vidja
will let you know as soon as you know.
will have sign up sheet for games, on facebook
yea

let liam know about dietary restrictions or allergies

kgb exec. there's usually also aren. meetings thursday 6pm in uc329. meetings are open. agendas have wordart in it now. as long as formatting doesn't get in the way of what we do, it's ok. bring food.

SCHMAKS
super sentai with matt!! likely sometime over finals week.
"it's sentai and it's art"
"sentai with senpai"
grand strategy war games. civilization 5 with henry. team of 3. want large number of people. sometime over break.
m: formally denounce matt if he doesn't call the event "sentai with senpai"
scs puzzlehunt. february. puzzles about courses from cs track.
"hi i'm cory and several of you are my friends. some of you doesn't know me that well. if you are a nihilist, likes russian, vaginal art, etc will watch lebowski"

Minutes20181126

2018-12-10T00:40:57Z

Nmongkol: Created page with "EXEC Ian had a break. justyn, the boy, came over and stayed at house with parents. they're like ah yeah he's like a good boy. went to same place for thanksgiving. nothing abo..."

EXEC
Ian had a break. justyn, the boy, came over and stayed at house with parents. they're like ah yeah he's like a good boy. went to same place for thanksgiving. nothing about furry happened. traditional thanksgiving experience: heated political argument at the end. for some reasons, conversation about some documentaries about what if ww2 germany had more access to scientists. tried to engage justyn, a physicist, about opinions on nuclear war.
justyn "uh uhh. it's bad?"
someone thought it was boring so doubled down.
"what's your opinion on legalization of marijuana"
justyn "eh"
"but we just got rid of cigarettes. when i was in high school, you couldn't go into the bathroom without being full of cigarette smoke? can you go to school bathroom without cig smoke? then you don't understand."
"there might be economic benefits"
"we tried it in atlantic city."
"that's not a fair analogy"
"what's your opinion on sex ed"
"it's a bodily function"
"alcohol is a liquor, not a drug"

then went to an arcade to play rhythm game that has guns.
Liam "finally a rhythm game that can catch on in america"
Dez had a weekend. went to DC and stayed there in the same house the whole time. great cause get to not move and not do a whole lot. no new people don't have to do shit.

Kate had a break. got on greyhound to go home, ray being there. watched girl who got dragon maid with anime titties. surprisingly wholesome. spent time with family which is always exciting. dad insulted mom's whole family. conversation about aunt about learning to communicate from kids not her parents. surprisingly wholesome. end of report. oh shit you right.
Event: Ice Cream Socialism XOR Vidja
complications. not sure if we can obtain liquid nitrogen. every effort to make it happen, even if it's next semester.
if we can't have ice cream, will have video game night.
if no video game night, usually play video game afterwards anyway. will be chill.
will let you know when and where by the end of tues/wed

Ellen had a break. visited grandparents in florida. nice weather. mass two times. thankgiving = speedrun mass = no music, which cuts it down by about half. now i'm back.

Janny had a break. it was filled with sleep. for my nlp class i had to implement a grammar, meaning i could generate sentences randomly. most of them are shit, but the grammatical ones include "I am my sacred legs" and "no person is moistened"
Hash is 6.

Aren is not here.
Jonathan wanna be Aren but is not Aren. please help. Liam "p of privilege, i'm already Aren"
Jonathan "if you hit me, i will become Aren"
I had a break. kinda just stayed here. you know i'm gonna be seeing the same limited family for a couple of weeks for a whole month. dad came to visit 2 weeks ago. relaxing break. recommends not having to deal with thanksgiving. i am the shield.

Mitchell had a weekend. went home for thanksgiving. fierce competition for t shit designs. well just kidding.

COMMITTEE REPORTS
C: for wearing kgb swags
continued failure. noticed people were looking at me.
C: i'm a physicist and i hate my life
very cold things.
icicle senior. 3rd ice themed villain on the flash. absolute zero again. got infinite phds. also gun that shoots absolute zero. use it to rob banks. dressed up in a parka with really nice hood and glasses of explorers in the arctic. robbed banks in the only city that has the flash. he could have just sold it for infinite money.
p of science: if a particle is at absolute zero, it would be everywhere
C: super trash bros
hacked and released online
C: ad hoc nepotism
during thanksgiving. got to hear aunt, an actual member of house of rep, talking about hating someone
C: stupid pr facts
names. certain things you leave in japanese cause if you don't it sounds stupid. "kyuranger" would have become "ninerangers". "shinkenger" would be "serious ranger"
they also do things with team member names. in "kyoryuger", 1st letter of team members spell out dinosaurs. if you take japanese one, it spells dinosaur in japanese.
lupinrangers = member names forms "kaitou", police = "keisatsu"

p of info: glad to see dc backronym intern has a new career in pr

1VP: new member
Skye. not a cmu student, was doing computer science somewhere else. from pittsburgh. my pants are blue.

C: support group for ex-choir kids
cousins don't have piano. will do it this week.

C: namespace collision
ah yes. now another skye who's not a cmu student but also in computer science

C: ad hoc kgb historians
used to have worse. mike m? emailed mike murphy ended up emailing student affairs mike murphy
"hey mike, i think you mean a different mike. thanks, mike"

C: stupid history
something we covered in past years: bad forms of government
tetrarchy. roman emperor. east + west, each with subemperors. each given a quarter of roman empire. made it wasier, but each person got their own army and wanted to be the emperor of rome. had a tournament. fight! then a new tetrarchy was born. it happened again adn then we got constantine.

C: ad hoc george rr martin god
follow up: that's the plot of game of thrones

C: woody memorial
christmas soon. 63 days = funeral. jan 28th, moved from july 3rd.

C: connor memorial
funeral needs a body. not necessarily mine.

C: misapp. kushal vampire lord.
can put not necessarily all the way dead person into the funeral

C: misapp. george r martin god
in the last week, part 1 of history book that seems to be more enjoyable. half of it is just roman history ripoff.

C: ad hoc shonen jump is shonen
battle royale is not true if it doesn't span two seasons and a movie, with protag fighting the rival and teaching them about friendship

C: ad hoc
woody memorial: middle of the ? is international waters

OLD BUSINESS
The thing
at??
goes to Liam
not fault = sports anime
fault = sports without anime and anime without sports.

Orders of the day
1. #define i play pot of greed
tabled
2. time capsule
append P: this committee is brought to you by r7 colonial, i'm a physicist and i hate my life, stupid history, comics are bullshit, stupid power ranger facts, culinary standards,
insert after "oracle": registered, trademark, creative commons, etc
append P at the end: if you like it, consider tabling this for another 5 year
at various points in the sponsor list, append: broken records
p of advice: if this comes up, table for 1 week. we table for 20 years if we table it for 1 week fails.
m: two copies of the motion.
can't have exact copies.
table for 1 week and deal with it then.

NEW BUSINESS
alloc <=$50 for food and supplies for this week's event
it's a good idea
objection: kgb libertarian doesn't recognize quantum money. we need a firm idea on what to spend money on
this is probablistic, not quantum
C: kellyanne conway appreciation
P: requesting a report from Ian
"y'all are at least 4 degrees of separation from donald trump. someone called her auntie"
m: denounce all graphs
been denounced
math privilege com: cs is just solved parts of math and physics
cs has unsolved!!
passed by abstention.
$2 to Dez. chair=separation exactly 12 from kellyanne conway

C: focus group on getting away with murder
P: workshop your political agendas
m: ban woody from this club
p of info: if you have a committee and meetings and take minutes, janny will post it
$6 to Dez. chair=actual chair of kushal vampire lord com (woody)

C: make janny's life incrementally worse for no purpose whatsoever
P: wikipedia has 88 thousand articles. need com to discuss all of them
p of info: if you have committee and meeting, YOU make the minutes. janny POSTS the minutes.
P:replace the word "for no purpose whatsover" with "for exactly this one purpose:"
friendly
$2 to Henry. chair=vornskyr of the planet mykr

C: nihilism
P: vat. v r nihilists. zat is no purpose.
$2 to Cory. chair=jackie treehorn

REAL ANNOUNCE

event: either ice cream socialism or vidja
will let you know as soon as you know.
will have sign up sheet for games, on facebook
yea

let liam know about dietary restrictions or allergies

kgb exec. there's usually also aren. meetings thursday 6pm in uc329. meetings are open. agendas have wordart in it now. as long as formatting doesn't get in the way of what we do, it's ok. bring food.

SCHMAKS
super sentai with matt!! likely sometime over finals week.
"it's sentai and it's art"
"sentai with senpai"

grand strategy war games. civilization 5 with henry. team of 3. want large number of people. sometime over break.

m: formally denounce matt if he doesn't call the event "sentai with senpai"

scs puzzlehunt. february. puzzles about courses from cs track.

"hi i'm cory and several of you are my friends. some of you doesn't know me that well. if you are a nihilist, likes russian, vaginal art, etc will watch lebowski"