KGB Wiki - User contributions [en]

Special Meeting Minutes20110221

2011-02-22T01:15:15Z

Ntr:

* Jboning opens by explaining that the UPA provoked more uncomfortableness and exec wants the body's input on what we should do about it
* Glisson says that the KGB seems to have a good track record of listening to exec and a recommendation about moderation may be enough to keep problems limited
* Paul agrees with Glisson and says that last semester was an anomaly; the problem would be solved with a recommendation
* Kelly points out that the stripping aspect of the event was heavily emphasized before this event and that may have caused some problems
* Afalk says that if people are uncomfortable with it, it should be banned outright
* Lincoln says that it was originally a joke and was not as sexual; encourages that is okay but the sexual aspect should be limited (and that it should be clear that people don't have to remove clothing in any way)
* Mcginnis says that we should keep stripping limited to what is appropriate in 100% public
* Drew asks what kind of reputation stripping at UPA gives the KGB in the public eyes; this is the one event that could be viewed in a negative light (as opposed to CTFWS, puzzlehunt) and we should remember the image that campus will take away from it
* Naomi says there are some other events we have that might be offensive and they don't attend (like bitterness party) and we shouldn't get rid of events on those grounds; also, the negative backlash was from people who were already expecting some removal of clothing but were offended by the explicit sexual content of the auction - says that the pressure to strip is not too strong
* Tim Broman says that stripping brings in money and income would be affected - Scorri weighs in that the majority of income would not be affected; also this is not a financial decision; he noted that he (as a freshmen) was not surprised by the content - ie, that's what he had been led to expect; and that he was offended - thinks a small adjustment is a good plan if it will be sufficient
* Jboning explains the historical perspective of the UPA: it was originally a classy event for geeks without stripping. later it became a more strip-filled event based on social libertarianism
* Glisson says that there is a difference between removal of clothing and the sexual context in which it happened - he personally was not offended but that we can limit it to non-sexual stripping
* Matt points out that we are not the same organization from year to year and maybe we should decide year-to-year based on what the membership wants at that time
* Shelby suggests making a change that would require explicit recognition by all participants that there is sometimes sexual content to the UPA
* Tim rebuts that we should make as many people comfortable, not just limit our liability
* Kelly also rebuts that signing a form won't make her not be offended or make her not leave, and that the issue is that people were offended, not that they didn't know they would be offended
* Shelby points out that there is a valid liability perspective and we should make it clear that people have the right to object
* Dan says that he guesses that nobody was offended by the clothing removal but rather by the sexuality of the removing, and the fact that we're having a meeting proves we need to change something; wants to set up some specific boundary that we should not cross in the UPA
* Eric wants a ballpark figure on how many people were offended; Jboning guesses probably 12 or more
* Paul emphasizes that the important issue is the sexuality not the clothing removal; however he points out that rules-lawyering will inevitably result from any concrete boundary and will probably not solve the problem - a guideline would be better
* Afalk says we can see what people are comfortable with year-to-year; event has to change for the people, not vice versa
* Tim Broman says that in the years past, things have gone okay; we should find a model that fits the current composition of the KGB; likes the black-tie, classy approach to the UPA - says that history is a good guideline for what to do
* Clyde says he wasn't really bothered but that he felt upstaged by stripping people and wants to order people (put strippers at the end)
* Dennis says we should consider the reputation of the KGB especially w.r.t. recruiting
* Ethan wants to move from sexual stripping to non-sexual stripping; consider rule 0 as an example of a good rule that is not explicit but people still follow (try "keep it classy" to create non-sexual situations)
* Caroline encourages us to phrase everything carefully and simply, and knowing that the very fact that this meeting happened will affect the future course of the event; an explicit rule will stifle creativity and play and may well hurt the event
* Xander feels that the KGB is a safe place and that it is a good place to get away from the Hell that is CMU; if people are uncomfortable then that status is in doubt and we should change that by eliminating all stripping for now and ever, because so many people were made uncomfortable
* Naomi is concerned about having a poll every year in that it could potentially mask the problem rather than permenantly solve it, and within a few years explicit sexual content would be permitted in a cycle of approve->problem->disapprove->forget problem->approve->etc.
* Kelly says that the way the auctioneer behaves needs to be different, in that they must stop behavior which is causing a problem rather than encouraging it
* Tim Vaughan says that in general people recognize when they go to far so the solution should lie in the way we frame the event and that "keep it classy" would be a good guideline for fixing the problem, since people would stop themselves or others if they cross that line
* Matt wants to make it very clear - in a positive sense - that it is a classy event and that we should focus on classiness rather than banning things; also exec should always have the ability to stop anything that is going on at any event
* Quuxum says that multiple people other than the auctioneer and exec need to be able to gauge what is going on and have the ability to stop it; also points out that the KGB has shifted from a really sexual libertine organization to more of a geeky/nerdy organization and historical basis may not be appropriate
* Tim Broman says his major concern is with tone; and that the organization's tone has already shifted away from strongly sexual content and towards classiness; we should limit the presence of stripping in the run-up and explanation to the event to what is minimally necessary
* Glisson says that the KGB operates by gut feeling rather than by rules and that's a good thing; we can use "keep it classy" as a good guideline instead of rules
* Eforney points out that this isn't the exec who will be in charge of the next UPA; also trying to come up with concrete guidelines, which are hard:
1) tell styger story after the event and limit presence of stripping in run-up to event
2) have 2 auctioneers instead of 1
3) auctioneer cannot interact with the auctionee at all
* Naomi would like to restrict making out at all at the auction; people will usually not make out beyond a particular line of propriety and wants to ensure that propriety is maintained everywhere
* Drew asks Afalk if she hadn't heard about stripping before the event, would she have stripped; and she responds that she would have had non-stripping sexual content
* Jboning points out concern about pressure on girls to strip
* Dennis wants to de-emphasize stripping before the event
* Scorri points out the possible ramifications of the fact that the UPA is open and staff/faculty could show up and the KGB could get in a *lot* of trouble
* Tim Vaughan says that he was made most uncomfortable by the fact that the KGB was stripping/sexual acts in complete public; also we should not make the auction about the individual but rather about the organization
* Tim Broman says he would like to request a notice from exec to the public about what we decided
* Glisson says, about pressure to strip, that we should emphasize that stripping is not required and that not stripping is as/more profitable
* Quuxum says that the cooking/RPG as a draw for bidding never happened before 2008 or so and we should remember what the organization likes at any given time
* Eric wants scheduling to run non-strippers -> strippers over time, so that nobody who doesn't want to will feel pressured by coming immediately after something
* Naomi likes stripping interspersed and she likes snarling like a sexy werewolf
* Michaela points out that there was someone who permanently left the KGB because of the raunchy content of the UPA
* Matt says we shouldn't cater to random people if they aren't interested in what the KGB wants to do; if we could get in trouble it should go, but otherwise we should find some middle ground instead
* Xander is proud to be a member of the KGB; but if it continues like this he would change his mind about being a member
* Quuxum points out that the entire basis cannot be determined beforehand
* Dan says that as long as guidelines exist, we will be okay, and we don't need to set rock-solid rules
* Eforney says that the consensus seems to be we won't ban stripping but may come up with some guidelines/rules instead

[[Category:Minutes]]

Meetings

2009-01-13T03:01:40Z

Ntr: changed exec meeting time

[[KGB]] holds weekly General Body and [[Executive Board]] '''meetings'''.

The current time and location of the General Body meetings is Monday, 4:30pm in Margaret Morrison A14.

The current time and location of the Executive Board meetings is Tuesday, 4:30pm in University Center 318G.

The typical order of a meeting is:
* [[:category:officers|Officer]] reports
* [[Committees]]
* [[Old Business]]
* [[New Business]]
* Actual, real, relevant announcements pertaining to the business of KGB as an organization.
* [[General body members|Schmucks]] mouthing off

The [[President]] is constitutionally inclined to preside over General Body Meetings with a [[steel]] [[Sergeant-at-Arms|fist]] and an [[accountability|unaccountable]] [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiat fiat].

Current events

2008-12-02T19:23:02Z

Ntr: /* Other events we'd like local defectors to know about */

{{needs|to be updated}}

This page tends to be neglected. Be sure to check out [[assocs.kgb]] for more recent information about events.
In general, KGB events take place at 7PM on Fridays, in various locales.

See our [http://cmukgb.org/activities/calendar.php calendar] for information on our most recent, current and upcoming events!

=Important large events=

Friday, 09/05 8:00pm EST, UC Airport Lounge -- [[Underground tour]]

Saturday, 11/01 ???am/pm EST, ??? -- KGB Interactive Puzzle Fiction Event (save the date!)

Friday, 11/07 7:00pm EST, DH2315 -- [[Capture the Flag with Stuff]]!!

Wednesday, 12/10 7:00pm EST, ??? -- [[Geek Eat]]

==Other events we'd like local defectors to know about==

Friday, 12/5 7:00pm EST, PHA19* -- [[Get Board Get Carded]]

Current events

2008-12-02T19:22:21Z

Ntr: /* Important large events */

{{needs|to be updated}}

This page tends to be neglected. Be sure to check out [[assocs.kgb]] for more recent information about events.
In general, KGB events take place at 7PM on Fridays, in various locales.

See our [http://cmukgb.org/activities/calendar.php calendar] for information on our most recent, current and upcoming events!

=Important large events=

Friday, 09/05 8:00pm EST, UC Airport Lounge -- [[Underground tour]]

Saturday, 11/01 ???am/pm EST, ??? -- KGB Interactive Puzzle Fiction Event (save the date!)

Friday, 11/07 7:00pm EST, DH2315 -- [[Capture the Flag with Stuff]]!!

Wednesday, 12/10 7:00pm EST, ??? -- [[Geek Eat]]

==Other events we'd like local defectors to know about==

Friday, 09/12 7:00pm EST, PHA18* -- [[Get Board Get Carded]]

Main Page

2008-12-02T19:21:21Z

Ntr: /* Of "Current" Interest */

<big>'''Welcome to the KGB wiki. We are awesome.'''</big>

This is the main page. From here, you can teleport via magic internets to:

* [[What We Do]]
* [[Members]]
* [[History]]
* [[Information]]
* [[:category:Inside jokes|Inside Jokes]]

==Of "Current" Interest==

* [[2008 Officers|New officers for 2008-09]]
* [[Anniversary Party Post Mortem]]

==Meta==

* [[I wanna edit this wiki]]

===Meta Meta===

* [[I wanna edit this "I wanna edit this wiki"]]

====Meta Meta Meta====

* [[I wanna edit this "I wanna edit this 'I wanna edit this wiki'"]]

Proposed Amendment to the Bylaws

2008-10-02T00:11:40Z

Ntr:

Proposed rewrite of [[Bylaws]] Article IV, Section 4(a):

--------------------------------------------------------------
a. Duties of the Nominating Committee

The committee shall encourage as many able members to nominate themselves for
offices as possible. If any office has no nominations for candidates, one (1) week
before nominations are closed, Nominating Committee shall nominate one (1) person to
that position, and after securing the consent of each person so nominated, shall
immediately report their nominations to both the Recording and Corresponding
Secretaries in writing. Nominating Committee is to do everything in its power to
maintain the appearance of neutrality.
-------------------------------------------------------------

Discussion of this change will take place at the October 6 meeting.
Voting will occur on October 13. Please note that only members in good standing (i.e., those who have paid dues) are eligible to vote.

Proposed Amendment to the Bylaws

2008-10-02T00:09:38Z

Ntr: New page: Proposed rewrite of Bylaws Article IV, Section 4(a): -------------------------------------------------------------- a. Duties of the Nominating Committee The committee shall encourag...

Proposed rewrite of [[Bylaws]] Article IV, Section 4(a):

--------------------------------------------------------------
a. Duties of the Nominating Committee

The committee shall encourage as many able members to nominate themselves for
offices as possible. If any office has no nominations for candidates, one (1) week
before nominations are closed, Nominating Committee shall nominate one (1) person to
that position, and after securing the consent of each person so nominated, shall
immediately report their nominations to both the Recording and Corresponding
Secretaries in writing. Nominating Committee is to do everything in its power to
maintain the appearance of neutrality.
-------------------------------------------------------------

Discussion of this change will take place at the October 6 meeting.
Voting will occur on October 13. Please note that only current, active members (i.e., those who have paid dues) are eligible to vote.

Main Page

2008-10-02T00:06:24Z

Ntr: /* Of "Current" Interest */

<big>'''Welcome to the KGB wiki. We are awesome.'''</big>

This is the main page. From here, you can teleport via magic internets to:

* [[What We Do]]
* [[Members]]
* [[History]]
* [[Information]]
* [[:category:Inside jokes|Inside Jokes]]

==Of "Current" Interest==
* '''[[Proposed Amendment to the Bylaws]]'''

* [[Booth 2009 Planning]]
* [[2008 Officers|New officers for 2008-09]]
* [[Anniversary Party Post Mortem]]

==Meta==

* [[I wanna edit this wiki]]

===Meta Meta===

* [[I wanna edit this "I wanna edit this wiki"]]

====Meta Meta Meta====

* [[I wanna edit this "I wanna edit this 'I wanna edit this wiki'"]]

Current events

2008-09-22T16:01:59Z

Ntr:

{{needs|to be updated}}

This page tends to be neglected. Be sure to check out [[assocs.kgb]] for more recent information about events.
In general, KGB events take place at 7PM on Fridays, in various locales.

See our [http://cmukgb.org/activities/calendar.php calendar] for information on our most recent, current and upcoming events!

=Important large events=

Friday, 09/05 8:00pm EST, UC Airport Lounge -- [[Underground tour]]

Saturday, 11/01 ???am/pm EST, ??? -- KGB Interactive Puzzle Fiction Event (save the date!)

Friday, 11/07 7:00pm EST, WEH7500 -- Tentative [[Capture the Flag with Stuff]]!!

Friday, ??/?? 7:00pm EST, ??? -- [[Geek Eat]]

==Other events we'd like local defectors to know about==

Friday, 09/12 7:00pm EST, PHA18* -- [[Get Board Get Carded]]

Meetings

2008-09-16T15:38:52Z

Ntr:

[[KGB]] holds weekly General Body and [[Executive Board]] '''meetings'''.

The current time and location of the General Body meetings is Monday, 4:30pm in Margaret Morrison A14.

The current time and location of the Executive Board meetings is Wednesday, 4:30pm in University Center 318G.

The typical order of a meeting is:
* [[:category:officers|Officer]] reports
* [[Committees]]
* [[Old Business]]
* [[New Business]]
* Actual, real, relevant announcements pertaining to the business of KGB as an organization.
* [[General body members|Schmucks]] mouthing off

The [[President]] is constitutionally inclined to preside over General Body Meetings with a [[steel]] [[Sergeant-at-Arms|fist]] and an [[accountability|unaccountable]] [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiat fiat].

Information

2008-09-08T15:33:25Z

Ntr:

'''Information''' is comprised of administrative details about the [[KGB]]. All the information you need can be found here.

We have a (somewhat terrifying) website up [http://cmukgb.org here]. It's only ''slightly'' out of date (see Site News on main page). You can also finger us on Andrew.（We like that!)

Correspondence can be sent digitally to exec(AT)cmukgb(DOT)org, and our SMC box number is 54 (for paper Valentines, boxes of candy, and fat sacks of cash).

We've got a [http://cmukgb.livejournal.com LiveJournal community] and a [http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2200563006&refurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fs.php%3Fref%3Dsearch%26init%3Dq%26q%3Dkgb Facebook group], too.

* [[Bylaws]]
* [[Not The Bylaws]]
* [[Meetings]]

== See also ==
* [[Truth]]
* [[Lies]]

Current events

2008-09-04T04:31:01Z

Ntr:

{{needs|to be updated}}

This page tends to be neglected. Be sure to check out [[assocs.kgb]] for more recent information about events.
In general, KGB events take place at 7PM on Fridays, in various locales.

See our [http://cmukgb.org/activities/calendar.php calendar] for information on our most recent, current and upcoming events!

=Important large events=

Friday, 09/05 8:00pm EST, UC Airport Lounge -- [[Underground tour]]

Friday, ??/?? 7:00pm EST, ??? -- [[A Maze of Twisty Passages (KGB Puzzle Hunt)]]

Friday, 11/07 7:00pm EST, WEH7500 -- Tentative [[Capture the Flag with Stuff]]!!

Friday, ??/?? 7:00pm EST, ??? -- [[Geek Eat]]

==Other events we'd like local defectors to know about==

Friday, 09/12 7:00pm EST, PHA18* -- [[Get Board Get Carded]]

Current events

2008-09-04T04:28:29Z

Ntr:

{{needs|to be updated}}

This page tends to be neglected. Be sure to check out [[assocs.kgb]] for more recent information about events.
In general, KGB events take place at 7PM on Fridays, in various locales.

See our [http://cmukgb.org/activities/calendar.php calendar] for information on our most recent, current and upcoming events!

==Important large events==

Friday, 09/05 8:00pm EST, UC Airport Lounge -- [[Underground Tour]]

Friday, ??/?? 7:00pm EST, ??? -- [[A Maze of Twisty Passages (KGB Puzzle Hunt)]]

Friday, 11/07 7:00pm EST, WEH7500 -- Tentative [[Capture the Flag with Stuff]]!!

Friday, ??/?? 7:00pm EST, ??? -- [[Geek Eat]]

Minutes

2008-09-04T04:27:45Z

Ntr:

[[User:Edanaher|edanaher]] had, or so he claims, posted minutes:

Then [[Csawyer]] posted minutes, but not to the wiki

Now [[Dbesse]] is supposed to be the one that does the posting

===General Body Meetings===
*[[Minutes20060828|2006-08-28]]
*[[Minutes20060904|2006-09-04]]
*[[Minutes20060911|2006-09-11]]
*[[Minutes20060918|2006-09-18]]
*[[Minutes20060925|2006-09-25]]
*[[Minutes20061002|2006-10-02]]
*[[Minutes20061009|2006-10-09]]
*[[Minutes20061016|2006-10-16]]
*[[Minutes20061023|2006-10-23]]
*[[Minutes20061030|2006-10-30]]
*[[Minutes20061106|2006-11-06]]
*[[Minutes20061113|2006-11-13]]
*[[Minutes20061120|2006-11-20]]
*[[Minutes20061127|2006-11-27]]
*[[Minutes20061204|2006-12-04]]
*[[Minutes20061211|2006-12-11]]
*[[Minutes20080428|2008-04-28]]
*[[Minutes20080505|2008-05-05]]
*[[Minutes20080512|2008-05-12]]
*[[Minutes20080825|2008-08-25]]
*[[Minutes20080901|2008-09-01]]

===Executive Board Meetings===
*[[MinutesExec20060823|2006-08-23]]
*[[MinutesExec20060830|2006-08-30]]
*[[MinutesExec20060920|2006-09-20]]
*[[MinutesExec20060927|2006-09-27]]
*[[MinutesExec20061004|2006-10-04]]
*[[MinutesExec20061011|2006-10-11]]
*[[MinutesExec20061018|2006-10-18]]
*[[MinutesExec20061025|2006-10-25]]
*[[MinutesExec20061101|2006-11-01]]
*[[MinutesExec20061108|2006-11-08]]
*[[MinutesExec20061115|2006-11-15]]
*[[MinutesExec20061129|2006-11-29]]
*[[MinutesExec20061206|2006-12-06]]
*[[Minutes20080430|2008-04-30]]
*[[Minutes20080507|2008-05-07]]
*[[Minutes20080827|2008-08-27]]

===Older Minutes===
The particularly adventuresome may wish to seek [[rlambert|rlambert's]] minutes in the KGB's [http://community.livejournal.com/cmukgb/ LiveJournal of Lore]. Minutes yet older have been consigned to the depths of KGB's [[University Center|UC]] office.

User:Ntr

2008-09-01T03:38:07Z

Ntr:

Pravda? submissions go to: ntr@andrew (you know the rest).

'''SUBMIT TO PRAVDAAA?!'''

Officer Dossier:

Corresponding Secretary, 2008-2009:

Nicole spent too many hours in the dance mills of swampy Florida. She has a
heightened tolerance of heat, relentlessly smacks down cockroaches (or “palmetto
bugs"), can spin without getting too dizzy, and can probably kick you in the face.
She has been known to walk on her hands and wear blinding fluorescent colors without
warning.

Nicole didn't find the KGB -- the KGB found her! tied to the railroad tracks in a
box of raccoons. It was hard to distinguish her from them, what with the pointy ears
and all.

When the Revolution comes, she will be waiting in the trees, whispering battle
strategies to the squirrels. Like tiny, fluffy kindergarteners, rabid or not, they
listen better if you don’t shout at them.

Written by: [[User:Ntr|ntr]]

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[Jgg|jgg]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Corresponding Secretary]]
|years=[[2008 Officers|2008-2009]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$NEW_CORSEC}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Officers]]

User:Ntr

2008-09-01T03:37:33Z

Ntr:

Pravda? submissions go to: ntr@andrew (you know the rest).

SUBMIT TO PRAVDAAA?!

Officer Dossier:

Corresponding Secretary, 2008-2009:

Nicole spent too many hours in the dance mills of swampy Florida. She has a
heightened tolerance of heat, relentlessly smacks down cockroaches (or “palmetto
bugs"), can spin without getting too dizzy, and can probably kick you in the face.
She has been known to walk on her hands and wear blinding fluorescent colors without
warning.

Nicole didn't find the KGB -- the KGB found her! tied to the railroad tracks in a
box of raccoons. It was hard to distinguish her from them, what with the pointy ears
and all.

When the Revolution comes, she will be waiting in the trees, whispering battle
strategies to the squirrels. Like tiny, fluffy kindergarteners, rabid or not, they
listen better if you don’t shout at them.

Written by: [[User:Ntr|ntr]]

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[Jgg|jgg]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Corresponding Secretary]]
|years=[[2008 Officers|2008-2009]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$NEW_CORSEC}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Officers]]

What We Do

2008-09-01T03:35:25Z

Ntr:

KGB does awesome things. We should talk more about what awesome things we do here.

* General Body [[Meetings]]
* [[:category:Events|Catalog of Events]]
* [[Capture the Flag with Stuff]]
* [[Puzzle Hunt]]
* [[Booth|BOOOOOTH!]]
* [[Upcoming events]]
* [[List of awesome things for KGB to do]]
* [[:Category:Bad Ideas|Bad Ideas]]
* [[Pravda?]]

A great many of the quotes on [http://cmu-bash.org/ cmu-bash] are the fault of KGB members.

Pravda?

2008-09-01T03:34:57Z

Ntr:

Pravda? is the [[KGB|organization]]'s official newsletter. It is put out by the [[Corresponding Secretary]] and has an open editorial policy. The [[CorSec]] actively encourages the submission of any material the members happen to have. There is no requirement that the material be funny, interesting, coherent, or even two dimensional (the submission of brownies is especially highly encouraged). Email the current CorSec with your submissions.

Old issues of Pravda? can be found at [[KGB]]'s [http://www.cmukgb.org/propaganda/pravda.php website]. Presumably the delinquent current officership will at some point put up more recent Pravda?s.

Information

2008-09-01T03:33:59Z

Ntr:

'''Information''' is comprised of administrative details about the [[KGB]]. All the information you need can be found here.

We have a (somewhat terrifying) website up [http://cmukgb.org here]. It's only ''slightly'' out of date (see Site News on main page). You can also finger us on Andrew.（We like that!)

Correspondence can be sent digitally to exec(AT)cmukgb(DOT)org, and our SMC box number is 54 (for paper Valentines, boxes of candy, and fat sacks of cash).

* [[Bylaws]]
* [[Not The Bylaws]]
* [[Meetings]]

== See also ==
* [[Truth]]
* [[Lies]]

Information

2008-09-01T03:30:38Z

Ntr:

What We Do

2008-09-01T03:25:23Z

Ntr:

KGB does awesome things. We should talk more about what awesome things we do here.

* General Body [[Meetings]]
* [[:category:Events|Catalog of Events]]
* [[Capture the Flag with Stuff]]
* [[Puzzle Hunt]]
* [[Booth|BOOOOOTH!]]
* [[Upcoming events]]
* [[List of awesome things for KGB to do]]
* [[:Category:Bad Ideas|Bad Ideas]]

A great many of the quotes on [http://cmu-bash.org/ cmu-bash] are the fault of KGB members.

Members

2008-09-01T03:23:34Z

Ntr:

KGB '''members''' wear [[trenchcoats]] because they all carry [[:category:inside jokes|machetes]].

* [[:category:Officers|Officers]]
* [[2008 Officers|Current Officers]]
* [[General body members]]
* [[Defectors]]

What We Do

2008-09-01T03:21:05Z

Ntr:

KGB does awesome things. We should talk more about what awesome things we do here.

* General Body [[Meetings]]
* [[:category:Events|Catalog of Events]]
* [[Capture the Flag with Stuff]]
* [[Puzzle Hunt]]
* [[Upcoming events]]
* [[List of awesome things for KGB to do]]
* [[:Category:Bad Ideas|Bad Ideas]]

A great many of the quotes on [http://cmu-bash.org/ cmu-bash] are the fault of KGB members.

What We Do

2008-09-01T03:19:32Z

Ntr:

KGB does awesome things. We should talk more about what awesome things we do here.

* General Body [[Meetings]]
* [[:category:Events|Catalog of Events]]
* [[Capture the Flag with Stuff]]
* [[A Maze of Twisty Passages（KGB Puzzle Hunt)]]
* [[Upcoming events]]
* [[List of awesome things for KGB to do]]
* [[:Category:Bad Ideas|Bad Ideas]]

A great many of the quotes on [http://cmu-bash.org/ cmu-bash] are the fault of KGB members.

Current events

2008-09-01T03:15:24Z

Ntr:

{{needs|to be updated}}

This page tends to be neglected. Be sure to check out [[assocs.kgb]] for more recent information about events.
In general, KGB events take place at 7PM on Fridays, in various locales.

See our [http://cmukgb.org/activities/calendar.php calendar] for information on our most recent, current and upcoming events!

==Important large events==

Friday, 09/05 8:00pm EST, UC Airport Lounge -- [[Underground Tour]]

Friday, ??/?? 7:00pm EST, ??? -- [[A Maze of Twisty Passages (KGB Puzzle Hunt)]]

Friday, ??/?? 7:00pm EST, WEH7500 -- Tentative [[Capture the Flag with Stuff]]!!

Friday, ??/?? 7:00pm EST, ??? -- [[Geek Eat]]

Meetings

2008-09-01T01:45:42Z

Ntr:

[[KGB]] holds weekly General Body and [[Executive Board]] '''meetings'''.

The current time and location of the General Body meetings is Monday, 4:30pm in Margaret Morrison A14.

The current time and location of the Executive Board meetings is Wednesday, 4:30pm in University Center 306.

The typical order of a meeting is:
* [[:category:officers|Officer]] reports
* [[Committees]]
* [[Old Business]]
* [[New Business]]
* Actual, real, relevant announcements pertaining to the business of KGB as an organization.
* [[General body members|Schmucks]] mouthing off

The [[President]] is constitutionally inclined to preside over General Body Meetings with a [[steel]] [[Sergeant-at-Arms|fist]] and an [[accountability|unaccountable]] [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiat fiat].

Ntr

2008-08-31T21:27:52Z

Ntr: Redirecting to User:Ntr

#REDIRECT[[User:Ntr]]

Labbott

2008-08-31T21:26:54Z

Ntr:

labbott does not actually exist. This is a vicious lie created to confuse people. At one time or another, there may have existed an labbott but deciding membership in the set labbott is NP hard, requires more energy than there actually exists in the universe and void where prohibited by law. The closest things that can be said to resemble an labbott may include but are not limited to: a leather whip, complaints, Voodoo Priestesses and the color $\phi$

You can also consider this my personal ad. Because KGB totally needs to create a dating service of sorts.

Officer Dossier:

Treasurer, 2008-2009:

It is common knowledge and no secret at all that Laura is a dominatrix. Why wouldn't
she be? She is pretty tall. Hence, if you throw rolled coins at her during a
meeting, there will be consequences. And you'd better hope they didn't strike her.
She just might have to reprogram your hardware, if you know what I mean.

In her spare time, she teaches her kitten chorus popular songs and uploads the
results to the Internet, where they have become an overnight sensation. Their first
album has gone platinum in Germany, but then again, what hasn't?

She was the first KGB member to fly solo around the world, but says nothing of the
three months during which she disappeared in the Pacific without a trace, or her
cameo appearance on TV's "Love Boat."

{{s-start}}
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|years=[[2008 Officers|2008-2009]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$NEW_TREASURER}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Officers]]

Dbesse

2008-08-31T21:25:05Z

Ntr:

Drew Besse does not look like a duck, walk like a duck, or quack like a duck.
All three of which, however, can be changed for the right price.

Officer Dossier:

Recording Secretary, 2008-2009:

From the lush and fragrant jungles of upstate New York, Drew enjoys solving real,
complex, rational and irrational puzzles, recalculating pi, and remote-defusing
bombs. He may or may not have or be an evil twin.

If you give Drew a banana, he just might look the other way for a minute, permitting
you to slip out of the viewfinder of his Great Space Laser.

Drew has been to the past and the future and back, but they left him cold, so he has
elected to remain temporally stable for the time being. He has yet to travel
off-planet, since his imperfect eyesight prevents him from legally attaining
astronaut status, but the thought of how much more mischief he could do in zero-G
has him drawing up blueprints for a spaceship shaped like a bowl of tangerines.

Written by: [[User:Ntr|ntr]]

{{s-start}}
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|years=[[2008 Officers|2008-2009]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$NEW_RECSEC}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Officers]]

Mglisson

2008-08-31T21:21:56Z

Ntr:

If the [[President]] is the soul of the organization, the [[Second Vice-President]] the body, the [[Sergeant at Arms]] the hands, and the [[Corresponding Secretary]] the gaping, toothy maw, '''Matt Glisson''' (43 Octember 1947 - January 16 1977 - ???) is the fuzzy, twitching right eyebrow of the [[KGB]].

It is widely believed that [[Mglisson]] is the oldest living fish on campus. If not, he is trying to mate with her.

Officer Dossiers:

Sergeant at Arms, 2007-2008:

Matthew Glisson was a highly successful rock star in the 950’s, back when ‘the axe’ referred to something literal. Glisson was actually the pioneer of the term as it applies to the modern guitar since after every battle he would hold a rock concert by plucking the various human detritus that got stuck to his weapon. The managers of the Killer Fighting League thought he would be an excellent representative to put on during Viking Week, but were disappointed to find him a clean-shaven and relatively even-tempered man, so he was relegated to the 2:00 AM battles and denied a ticket home. To this day he prefers to think of himself as a musician, not a fighter, but since the only way he knows to string his instrument involves the dismemberment of no less than 14 people, he is likely to continue to do well in the Killer Fighting League.

SPECIAL MOVE: Star Power (score a 50-hit combo)

Written by: [[Jgg|jgg]]

First Vice President, 2008-2009:

Born on the Tennessee River in a submarine made entirely out of Lego bricks, Glisson
has always had a special place in the watery depths of his heart (his blood,
however, is thicker than water) for all things aquatic and/or mechanical. He can
become a deadly velociraptor at moment's notice, and runs a successful raptor attack
safety consulting firm.

You may call him Matt, but there are so many Matts that the Chrises are jealous, so
he may continue to doze peacefully atop his sweet crumbly muffin without noticing
your call. The call of Cthulhu, however, he will never ignore.

To keep himself in fighting form, Glisson does laps in a tank of ferrofluid dressed
in chainmail. A welding accident in his youth left him unable to pronounce the word
"weekend."

Written by: [[User:Ntr|ntr]]

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|-
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{{s-ttl|title=[[First Vice President]]
|years=[[2008 Officers|2008-2009]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$NEW_FIRST_VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Officers]]

Ehohenst

2008-08-31T21:17:20Z

Ntr:

Seen most every week at meetings, '''Elizabeth Hohenstein''' (born May 5, 1862)is a sophomore Civil Engineer as well as a member of the [[KGB]], in spite of going to [[University of Pittsburgh]]. You are more than welcome to throw pennies at her. Her twin sister, Victoria, however, does go to [[Carnegie Mellon]].

Unlike [[purple]], a motion to Elizabeth Hohenstein is not always in order.

Officer Dossiers:

Treasurer, 2007-2008:

Commander of the 7th legion of Chaos Marines, Elizabeth was discharged for making her unit symbol a smiley-face and forcing her troops to write ‘thank-you’ notes to the enemy commanders after the battles (however many pieces they were in). Henceforth, she went out to do the work of EVIL! However, she never seemed to be very successful at it. She became a human fly and climbed undetected up the Washington Monument, the White House, and the Empire State Building, only to paint Christmas colors on them. She summoned the dark god Cthulhu into this world, but as a plush toy. Her evil twin can’t even grow a decent goatee. She continues to insist even in the Killer Fighting League that pillow fights are the height of foul, brutal monstrosities. Her fellow evil warriors generally humor her in her misguided ideas, because she’s a very difficult person to dislike, even for the mad wizard servants of Dagon or the Killer Death Robot 5000’s of the world. She claims to have a special surprise in store for this year involving molten copper, the lost mold of Ythrak, and a rubber duck.

SPECIAL MOVE: Death Saxophone (put down the duckie)

Written by: [[Jgg|jgg]]

Sergeant at Arms, 2008-2009:

As is fitting for a Sergeant at Arms, Liz has six arms, two of which are nuclear,
four of which have opposable thumbs, which makes it easy for her to multitask in the
Cluster and make several flavors of cupcake at once.

She found success in her early life designing bridges that appeared to be held up
only by magic. When it was revealed that they were in fact held up mostly by magic
(there were nontrivial quantities of duct tape involved), she shunned the
nonbelievers, rejected her hypnotic low-cut shirts and blouses, and turned her
efforts to religion, in addition to cures for chronic boredom, mass hysteria, and
the ingrown toenail.

Liz is especially difficult to track, as her likeness has on numerous occasions been
reported to be in two places at once!

Written by: [[User:Ntr|ntr]]

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=[[User:Eleather|eleather]]}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Treasurer]]
|years=[[2007 Officers|2007-2008]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[Labbott|labbott]]}}
|-
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{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[2008 Officers|2008-2009]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$NEW_S@A}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Officers]]
[[Category:Freaking Awesome]]

2008 Officers

2008-08-31T21:11:44Z

Ntr:

[[President]] - [[Jgg|Jared Goerner]]

[[First Vice President]] - [[Mglisson|Matthew Glisson]]

[[Second Vice President]] - [[Csawyer|Carolyn Sawyer]]

[[Corresponding Secretary]] - [[User:Ntr|Nicole Reilly]]

[[Recording Secretary]] - [[Dbesse|Drew Besse]]

[[Treasurer]] - [[Labbott|Laura Abbott]]

[[Sergeant at Arms]] - [[Ehohenst|Elizabeth Hohenstein]]

{{start box}}
{{succession box|title=[[2008 Officers]]|before=[[2007 Officers]]|after=[[2009 Officers]]}}
{{end box}}

[[category:Officers]]

User:Ntr

2008-08-31T21:11:14Z

Ntr: New page: Officer Dossier: Corresponding Secretary, 2008-2009: Nicole spent too many hours in the dance mills of swampy Florida. She has a heightened tolerance of heat, relentlessly smacks down co...

Officer Dossier:

Corresponding Secretary, 2008-2009:

Nicole spent too many hours in the dance mills of swampy Florida. She has a
heightened tolerance of heat, relentlessly smacks down cockroaches (or “palmetto
bugs"), can spin without getting too dizzy, and can probably kick you in the face.
She has been known to walk on her hands and wear blinding fluorescent colors without
warning.

Nicole didn't find the KGB -- the KGB found her! tied to the railroad tracks in a
box of raccoons. It was hard to distinguish her from them, what with the pointy ears
and all.

When the Revolution comes, she will be waiting in the trees, whispering battle
strategies to the squirrels. Like tiny, fluffy kindergarteners, rabid or not, they
listen better if you don’t shout at them.

Written by: [[User:Ntr|ntr]]

{{s-start}}
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{{s-ttl|title=[[Corresponding Secretary]]
|years=[[2008 Officers|2008-2009]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$NEW_CORSEC}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Officers]]

Csawyer

2008-08-31T21:07:56Z

Ntr: New page: Officer Dossiers: Recording Secretary, 2007-2008: Although Carolyn appears to be an elven princess of some sort, fellow combatants in the Killer Fighting League say that they can’t hel...

Officer Dossiers:

Recording Secretary, 2007-2008:

Although Carolyn appears to be an elven princess of some sort, fellow combatants in the Killer Fighting League say that they can’t help but think that something is off about her. Perhaps it’s her teeth (which all happen to be filed into points), or the fact that her pen really is mightier than most swords (and drips venom), or her rather gruesome match against the previous reigning champion of the Macabre Gore League that left him scattered in four piles on the ground, a fine mist on the audience, two superluminal pieces of bone and a strange looking rock on one of the moons of Saturn. This match actually broke the MGL record for Most Dispersed Dismemberment, previously set by Gorm the Bloodless in 198X with Tolkenian Death Weasels. In any case, whatever’s off about her, nobody can quite put their finger on it.

SPECIAL MOVE: Summon Cute Rabid Woodland Animals (Pirouette + Pas de chat + En Pointe + Sledgehammer to the face)

Written by: [[Jgg|jgg]]

Second Vice President, 2008-2009:

Carolyn is quiet. Too quiet. Thus, it is likely that you will never hear her talk of
her dark Soviet past, but when she catches speeding bullets in the air without even
glancing up from her knitting, performs strange graceful gymnastics to catch herself
on the rare instances when she loses her footing in the stairways of Wean, or cooks
up a big bubbling pot of blood-red borscht, you just sort of know.

Carolyn knows the secrets of nanoparticles, so you really don't want to get on her
bad side. Something so tiny you'd never know it was there. Watching your every move.
It is advisable to know precisely how she likes her tea.

You may thank her for crocheting the prototype of the Internet back in the golden
days of the slide rule. She also walks uphill, both ways, without tiring.

Written by: [[User:Ntr|ntr]]

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|years=[[2007 Officers|2007-2008]]}}
{{s-aft|after=[[Dbesse|dbesse]]}}
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{{s-ttl|title=[[Second Vice President]]
|years=[[2008 Officers|2008-2009]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$NEW_SECOND_VP}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Officers]]

Jgg

2008-08-31T21:00:22Z

Ntr: New page: Officer Dossiers: Corresponding Secretary: 2007-2008 A cyborg from 2½ dimensions over, Jared still wonders why there aren’t any killer robots bent on destruction in this dimension yet...

Officer Dossiers:

Corresponding Secretary: 2007-2008

A cyborg from 2½ dimensions over, Jared still wonders why there aren’t any killer robots bent on destruction in this dimension yet. Although hell bent on creating a few of them, he has become somewhat sidetracked with his entrance into the Killer Fighting League. Ostentatiously this was to learn more about different fighting techniques, but inside sources say that he really did it to get closer to the girl with that cute CPU and killer leg enhancements. His armaments include a laser scope eye, electric pile driver arm, enhanced metabolism, short-range nanobombs, optional wing attachments, and dashing good looks. Too bad he can never catch them.

SPECIAL MOVE: Kill Ninja (gelatinous laser + blend goats + recalibrate kinetiscope + paint pigeons)

Written By: [[Jgg|jgg]]

President: 2008-2009

Cyborg director of a mad science lab firebombed by opponents of Singularity who believed he had put far too many body parts into the work, Jared looks fondly upon his golden days in the sacred lumberjack dojo, learning the ancient martial arts of
the forest... with chainsaws. In fact, one of his cybernetic arms has a chainsaw
attachment (as well as a less masculine, but still reasonably awesome, electric
mixer attachment useful for making mashed potatoes, pound cake, and seafoam green
paint (funny they no longer stock it in stores).

Jared has special ties with the Robot Overlords, so his soup in restaurants is never
too cold and always without flies, living, dead, or undead, and he has never in his
life been 404'd.

Any room Jared enters doubles as a fallout shelter.

Written By: [[User:Ntr|ntr]]

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|years=[[2008 Officers|2008-2009]]}}
{{s-aft|after=$NEW_PRESIDENT}}
{{end}}

[[Category:Officers]]