KGB Wiki - User contributions [en]

Students

2007-05-28T05:03:46Z

Rjmccall:

'''Students''' are a variety of symbiotic lifeforms that feed off the education, social structure, and general scholastic wankery provided by a [[CMU|university]] or other insitution in exchange for their money. The phylum students is further divided into classes by majors and age. Evolution (by means of accumulation of credits and subsequent graduation, or use of a Moon Stone) results in reclassification into other groups. For the KGB, such an evolution often results (though not always) in [[defectors]].

Students are medium sized grass. They receive a +4 dodge bonus to AC against Professors, and they are immune to sleep.

User talk:Dominic

2007-05-22T19:46:13Z

Rjmccall: a stinging rebuke

I don't mean to be lame, but this should canonically be in the main namespace, and you have to respect canon, because otherwise Batman will wear purple underpants and Superman will have giant buckteeth and the Green Arrow will be romantically intertwined with Mary Jane Watson and oh god that's probably already in the canon somewhere and ''can't you see where this is all going?????''

Help:Editing

2007-05-17T05:15:00Z

Rjmccall: always use preview, grasshopper

The [[metaphysics|metaphysical]] principle of editing is embodied in a law of attraction. You edit what you think about.

You want this, don't you? The desire to edit is swelling in you now. Take your keyboard. Use it. Edit this article with it. Give in to your desire to edit. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.

Your edits are unavoidable. Your edits are your destiny. You, like your father, are now mine.

== Some style suggestions ==
* '''Bold''' the article title the first time it appears by surrounding it in <nowiki>[[brackets like a link]]</nowiki>.
* '''Bold''' other things using <nowiki>'''triple-ticks'''</nowiki>
* Give every article at least one [[Special:Categories|category]]
* Give every article at least one out-link
* If you are making a comment, such as in a talk page, use four tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>) to insert your username and a timestamp.
* Mark short articles as [[KGB Wiki:Stubs|stubs]] using <nowiki>{{stub}}</nowiki>

== Further reading ==
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help:Editing Editing Help at Wikipedia]
* [[I wanna edit this wiki]]

Help:Editing

2007-05-17T05:13:58Z

Rjmccall: Bold the article title by linking to it

The [[metaphysics|metaphysical]] principle of editing is embodied in a law of attraction. You edit what you think about.

You want this, don't you? The desire to edit is swelling in you now. Take your keyboard. Use it. Edit this article with it. Give in to your desire to edit. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.

Your edits are unavoidable. Your edits are your destiny. You, like your father, are now mine.

== Some style suggestions ==
* '''Bold''' the article title the first time it appears by surrounding it in <nowiki>[[brackets like a link]]</nowiki>>.
* '''Bold''' other things using <nowiki>'''triple-ticks'''</nowiki>
* Give every article at least one [[Special:Categories|category]]
* Give every article at least one out-link
* If you are making a comment, such as in a talk page, use four tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>) to insert your username and a timestamp.
* Mark short articles as [[KGB Wiki:Stubs|stubs]] using <nowiki>{{stub}}</nowiki>

== Further reading ==
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help:Editing Editing Help at Wikipedia]
* [[I wanna edit this wiki]]

Zephyr

2007-05-17T00:27:44Z

Rjmccall: stubbed out a zephyr page

[[Zephyr]] is an ancient art of internet communication. Messages, called ''zephyrgrams'', are authenticated via [[Kerberos]] and addressed to a tuple of a class, an instance, and a recipient; this enables both targetted and broadcast styles of communication. Zephyr is slightly more heavyweight in feel than (though similar in style to) most popular instant-message programs, but it remains far "lighter" than email or usenet.

{{Stub}}

Article requests

2007-05-17T00:19:23Z

Rjmccall: satisfied Snegurochka's Castle request, I trust

It sure would be grand if we had articles on the following subjects:

* [[Pfennig of Pfault]]
* [[Presidential salute]]
* [[Erototoxins]]
* [[William Shatner]]
* [[Zephyr]]
* [[Meta Committee]]
* [[assocs.kgb]]
* [[Soviet Russia]]
* [[Body part of the week]]
* Booths, such as
** [[The Winter Palace]]
** [[Science (booth)]]
** [[Tetris]]
** [[Roanoke Island]]

Snegurochka's Castle

2007-05-17T00:18:10Z

Rjmccall: added category

[[Category:Booth]]

[[Snegurochka's Castle]] was KGB's [[2001 Officers|2002]] [[Carnival]] [[Booth]], themed after the Russian fairy tale of <i>Снегурочка</i>, the snow maiden. It took fourth place in the independent category.

==History and Organization==

Embittered over close and not-so-close defeats in recent years, KGB decided to skip Booth in 2001. Four-year turnover and a large infusion of new blood in 2000 meant that by the next year, well over half the organization had never participated in a booth; the decision was finalized when [[CorSec]] [[Sean "Teki" Dobbs]] volunteered to serve as [[Booth Chair]]. Ultimate responsibility for the booth was never quite clear: as [[rjmccall|I]] recall, there was some sort of crazed power-sharing system which purported to split the responsibility between construction (Teki) and visual design ([[kconnors]] and [[mid]] (?), who were roommates at the time), but the lines of authority were blurry, and communication was poor. As a result, some design decisions were made by last-minute fiat on Midway, and these frequently did not agree with earlier plans; examples include the decision to paint the interior of the booth to resemble castle-stones and the failure to implement an attractive interior for the tower.

==Story==

The character of <i>snegurochka</i> (the snow maiden) appears in several traditional Russian fairy tales; as a folk tale, of course, there is no single traditional telling, but nearly all versions result in her melting somehow. Since we hadn't chosen a canonical version of the story yet, and since it was clear that this would be of moderate importance to the booth, [[rjmccall]] decided to write one. The result was a bit long, and the judges evidently didn't believe that we told the story to whoever came by, but we really did make an effort to do so; Nat Manista was the prince of this. The story can be read [http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~rjmccall/snegurochka.html here].

==Structure and Design==

The booth was meant to resemble a castle enclosed in a snow-globe. Structurally, it featured a 15-foot circular tower (diameter ~6ft, height ~15ft, conical ceiling) in the rear-left corner. A straight line of steps led up through an enclosed hallway to the tower from the "street", and uncovered steps then led down along the rear and right walls into the courtyard. The right wall of the booth gently curved over to become the front wall of the booth, and the exit door was set in the center of the curve. The courtyard was paved with a layer of white gravel directly upon the asphalt; a "dome" of copper piping supporting a thin cloth mesh rose up from the courtyard walls and enclosed the entire space (except the tower). The structural components of the booth were "adapted" from the previous year's Fringe (?) booth, though of course they were built from scratch. I believe KGB no longer has any of the curved wall sections, although some of the flat wall sections remain in the cage and still see use in booths; these can be distinguished by the various Russian names (predominantly feminine) written inside them as identification, as well as by their thin paneling, which is considerably lighter than the plywood used for most wall sections.

The entire exterior of the booth was painted to resemble a castle; this was done by giving the walls a simple base coat, then sponge-painting rocks and mortar onto the surface in several shades of grey. The technique (which actually used scraps of paper towel rather than sponges) was proposed by [[lmarsh]]; it was carried out mostly by [[rjmccall]] with various assistants. The effect was reasonably nice for the exterior of the castle, if somewhat muted and labor-intensive; however, the decision to paint the interior of the courtyard in the same style was probably a mistake, carried out mostly because time was running short and no-one on Midway knew how to paint anything better. Additionally, the entire exterior of the booth was painted, even the wall which faced another booth (KGB's plot was at the end of a single row, so painting the other walls was conceivably justified). The interior of the entrance hallway was lined with a dark fabric and was (as I recall) somewhat claustrophobic. The interior of the tower was painted in several coats of primer, but never (I believe) given a real coat of paint; the intent was that there would be extensive decorations here, but they were not completed in time. All of this I bring up, not to lay individual fault anywhere, but to drive home the importance of planning and communication.

The roof was covered in tar paper, which was obnoxious to lay, obnoxious to keep in place, and extremely attractive (for a roof). Take this as you will.

==Game==

The game was a 5x5 grid of square blocks; blocks in the second and fourth rows and columns could slide freely, and at any given time there were several (one?) free blocks not on the board. Blocks were marked with paths connecting two or three of the edges, and the goal was to create a clear path from one corner of the grid to the opposite corner. Players had either two or three moves (for adults and children, respectively), each of which consisted of pushing a free block in any orientation along one of the sliding rows, which would then cause a block to fall off the other end, producing a new free block. This game was adapted from a toy puzzle game whose name escapes me.

==Worksong==

A traditional worksong, penned by an anonymous laborer on Snegurochka's Castle, has come down to us in part; some of the lyrics have been irrevocably lost, at least until they're found again. The song begins thus:

Now I've got scalene triangles on my shoulders,
And my friend is carrying a trapezoid.

Snegurochka's Castle

2007-05-17T00:15:49Z

Rjmccall: worksong

[[Snegurochka's Castle]] was KGB's [[2001 Officers|2002]] [[Carnival]] [[Booth]], themed after the Russian fairy tale of <i>Снегурочка</i>, the snow maiden. It took fourth place in the independent category.

==History and Organization==

Embittered over close and not-so-close defeats in recent years, KGB decided to skip Booth in 2001. Four-year turnover and a large infusion of new blood in 2000 meant that by the next year, well over half the organization had never participated in a booth; the decision was finalized when [[CorSec]] [[Sean "Teki" Dobbs]] volunteered to serve as [[Booth Chair]]. Ultimate responsibility for the booth was never quite clear: as [[rjmccall|I]] recall, there was some sort of crazed power-sharing system which purported to split the responsibility between construction (Teki) and visual design ([[kconnors]] and [[mid]] (?), who were roommates at the time), but the lines of authority were blurry, and communication was poor. As a result, some design decisions were made by last-minute fiat on Midway, and these frequently did not agree with earlier plans; examples include the decision to paint the interior of the booth to resemble castle-stones and the failure to implement an attractive interior for the tower.

==Story==

The character of <i>snegurochka</i> (the snow maiden) appears in several traditional Russian fairy tales; as a folk tale, of course, there is no single traditional telling, but nearly all versions result in her melting somehow. Since we hadn't chosen a canonical version of the story yet, and since it was clear that this would be of moderate importance to the booth, [[rjmccall]] decided to write one. The result was a bit long, and the judges evidently didn't believe that we told the story to whoever came by, but we really did make an effort to do so; Nat Manista was the prince of this. The story can be read [http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~rjmccall/snegurochka.html here].

==Structure and Design==

The booth was meant to resemble a castle enclosed in a snow-globe. Structurally, it featured a 15-foot circular tower (diameter ~6ft, height ~15ft, conical ceiling) in the rear-left corner. A straight line of steps led up through an enclosed hallway to the tower from the "street", and uncovered steps then led down along the rear and right walls into the courtyard. The right wall of the booth gently curved over to become the front wall of the booth, and the exit door was set in the center of the curve. The courtyard was paved with a layer of white gravel directly upon the asphalt; a "dome" of copper piping supporting a thin cloth mesh rose up from the courtyard walls and enclosed the entire space (except the tower). The structural components of the booth were "adapted" from the previous year's Fringe (?) booth, though of course they were built from scratch. I believe KGB no longer has any of the curved wall sections, although some of the flat wall sections remain in the cage and still see use in booths; these can be distinguished by the various Russian names (predominantly feminine) written inside them as identification, as well as by their thin paneling, which is considerably lighter than the plywood used for most wall sections.

The entire exterior of the booth was painted to resemble a castle; this was done by giving the walls a simple base coat, then sponge-painting rocks and mortar onto the surface in several shades of grey. The technique (which actually used scraps of paper towel rather than sponges) was proposed by [[lmarsh]]; it was carried out mostly by [[rjmccall]] with various assistants. The effect was reasonably nice for the exterior of the castle, if somewhat muted and labor-intensive; however, the decision to paint the interior of the courtyard in the same style was probably a mistake, carried out mostly because time was running short and no-one on Midway knew how to paint anything better. Additionally, the entire exterior of the booth was painted, even the wall which faced another booth (KGB's plot was at the end of a single row, so painting the other walls was conceivably justified). The interior of the entrance hallway was lined with a dark fabric and was (as I recall) somewhat claustrophobic. The interior of the tower was painted in several coats of primer, but never (I believe) given a real coat of paint; the intent was that there would be extensive decorations here, but they were not completed in time. All of this I bring up, not to lay individual fault anywhere, but to drive home the importance of planning and communication.

The roof was covered in tar paper, which was obnoxious to lay, obnoxious to keep in place, and extremely attractive (for a roof). Take this as you will.

==Game==

The game was a 5x5 grid of square blocks; blocks in the second and fourth rows and columns could slide freely, and at any given time there were several (one?) free blocks not on the board. Blocks were marked with paths connecting two or three of the edges, and the goal was to create a clear path from one corner of the grid to the opposite corner. Players had either two or three moves (for adults and children, respectively), each of which consisted of pushing a free block in any orientation along one of the sliding rows, which would then cause a block to fall off the other end, producing a new free block. This game was adapted from a toy puzzle game whose name escapes me.

==Worksong==

A traditional worksong, penned by an anonymous laborer on Snegurochka's Castle, has come down to us in part; some of the lyrics have been irrevocably lost, at least until they're found again. The song begins thus:

Now I've got scalene triangles on my shoulders,
And my friend is carrying a trapezoid.

Snegurochka's Castle

2007-05-17T00:11:25Z

Rjmccall: actually, it's not really a stub anymore

Snegurochka's Castle

2007-05-17T00:10:55Z

Rjmccall:

{{Stub}}

[[Snegurochka's Castle]] was KGB's [[2001 Officers|2002]] [[Carnival]] [[Booth]], themed after the Russian fairy tale of <i>Снегурочка</i>, the snow maiden. It took fourth place in the independent category.

==History and Organization==

Embittered over close and not-so-close defeats in recent years, KGB decided to skip Booth in 2001. Four-year turnover and a large infusion of new blood in 2000 meant that by the next year, well over half the organization had never participated in a booth; the decision was finalized when [[CorSec]] [[Sean "Teki" Dobbs]] volunteered to serve as [[Booth Chair]]. Ultimate responsibility for the booth was never quite clear: as [[rjmccall|I]] recall, there was some sort of crazed power-sharing system which purported to split the responsibility between construction (Teki) and visual design ([[kconnors]] and [[mid]] (?), who were roommates at the time), but the lines of authority were blurry, and communication was poor. As a result, some design decisions were made by last-minute fiat on Midway, and these frequently did not agree with earlier plans; examples include the decision to paint the interior of the booth to resemble castle-stones and the failure to implement an attractive interior for the tower.

==Story==

The character of <i>snegurochka</i> (the snow maiden) appears in several traditional Russian fairy tales; as a folk tale, of course, there is no single traditional telling, but nearly all versions result in her melting somehow. Since we hadn't chosen a canonical version of the story yet, and since it was clear that this would be of moderate importance to the booth, [[rjmccall]] decided to write one. The result was a bit long, and the judges evidently didn't believe that we told the story to whoever came by, but we really did make an effort to do so; Nat Manista was the prince of this. The story can be read [http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~rjmccall/snegurochka.html here].

==Structure and Design==

The booth was meant to resemble a castle enclosed in a snow-globe. Structurally, it featured a 15-foot circular tower (diameter ~6ft, height ~15ft, conical ceiling) in the rear-left corner. A straight line of steps led up through an enclosed hallway to the tower from the "street", and uncovered steps then led down along the rear and right walls into the courtyard. The right wall of the booth gently curved over to become the front wall of the booth, and the exit door was set in the center of the curve. The courtyard was paved with a layer of white gravel directly upon the asphalt; a "dome" of copper piping supporting a thin cloth mesh rose up from the courtyard walls and enclosed the entire space (except the tower). The structural components of the booth were "adapted" from the previous year's Fringe (?) booth, though of course they were built from scratch. I believe KGB no longer has any of the curved wall sections, although some of the flat wall sections remain in the cage and still see use in booths; these can be distinguished by the various Russian names (predominantly feminine) written inside them as identification, as well as by their thin paneling, which is considerably lighter than the plywood used for most wall sections.

The entire exterior of the booth was painted to resemble a castle; this was done by giving the walls a simple base coat, then sponge-painting rocks and mortar onto the surface in several shades of grey. The technique (which actually used scraps of paper towel rather than sponges) was proposed by [[lmarsh]]; it was carried out mostly by [[rjmccall]] with various assistants. The effect was reasonably nice for the exterior of the castle, if somewhat muted and labor-intensive; however, the decision to paint the interior of the courtyard in the same style was probably a mistake, carried out mostly because time was running short and no-one on Midway knew how to paint anything better. Additionally, the entire exterior of the booth was painted, even the wall which faced another booth (KGB's plot was at the end of a single row, so painting the other walls was conceivably justified). The interior of the entrance hallway was lined with a dark fabric and was (as I recall) somewhat claustrophobic. The interior of the tower was painted in several coats of primer, but never (I believe) given a real coat of paint; the intent was that there would be extensive decorations here, but they were not completed in time. All of this I bring up, not to lay individual fault anywhere, but to drive home the importance of planning and communication.

The roof was covered in tar paper, which was obnoxious to lay, obnoxious to keep in place, and extremely attractive (for a roof). Take this as you will.

==Game==

The game was a 5x5 grid of square blocks; blocks in the second and fourth rows and columns could slide freely, and at any given time there were several (one?) free blocks not on the board. Blocks were marked with paths connecting two or three of the edges, and the goal was to create a clear path from one corner of the grid to the opposite corner. Players had either two or three moves (for adults and children, respectively), each of which consisted of pushing a free block in any orientation along one of the sliding rows, which would then cause a block to fall off the other end, producing a new free block. This game was adapted from a toy puzzle game whose name escapes me.

Talk:Battleship gray

2007-05-11T23:57:45Z

Rjmccall:

The 1991 booth wasn't dead last, we beat someone that didn't do a whole lot more than paint "booth" on a cardboard box. As for the reason for the gray, we were a bit short on artistic talent (ok, none of the artists wanted to get involved that year) and a booth chair to remain unnamed said something like "if nobody comes up with an artistic design I'm just going to paint the damn thing gray".[[User:Tomstrong|Tomstrong]] 06:50, 11 May 2007 (EDT)

The "if no-one has a ''good'' idea, I'm just going to X" problem appears to be recurring. [[User:Rjmccall|Rjmccall]] 19:57, 11 May 2007 (EDT)

20th Anniversary Party

2007-05-11T23:55:32Z

Rjmccall: moved relevant discussion from talk article

A nefarious plot has been hatched among the [[defectors]] to overthrow [[KGB|KGB's]] control of its annual [[Carnival]] party in 2008 and throw a somewhat grander shindig to commemorate the 20th Anniversary of KGB's founding. [[User:Laefer|Jay Laefer]] is coordinating a list of people who would like to receive more party information via email. The rest of us will get our information here.

==Propaganda==
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csQPOhpPhjY Promotional Video #04]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC1JsbbayTY Promotional Video #03], starring [[Chuck Werner]]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9J85BC4llXk Promotional Video #02], starring [[Jess]]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fbdvVUFVYU Promotional Video #01], starring [[User:mg2x|Michael Gelman]] (and [[Cookie Monster]])

([http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=97CD385E29B56FC9 Playlist of all promotional videos])

==The Plan==

Basic planning tasks:
* Gather contact information.
* Pick a date, probably during Carnival (April 17-20, 2008).
* Book a venue.
* Obtain funds.

==The Central Committee==

If you would like to join the central planning committee who will be held responsible for this travesty, please log in and add your name below.

* [[User:Laefer|Jay Laefer]]
* [[User:Eeyore|Elliott "Eeyore" Evans]]
* [[User:mg2x|Michael Gelman]] (and [[Cookie Monster]])
* [[User:so0s|S.E. Olson]]
* [[User:ts4z|Tim Showalter]]

==The Brainstorming List==

It would be totally keen if:

* The party were held someplace near campus to make travel between [[Midway]] and the party easy.
* The party were held someplace where real [[food]] could be served or possibly provided.
* The party were held someplace that a full range of beverages could be served.
* We had custom [[KGB]] pocket protectors as favors.
* There were an associated game of [[CTFWS]].
* The party were held on a cruise ship in some exotic location.
* We Defectors created a blitz [[booth]].
* A variety of ancient and revered [[KGB]] artifacts could be assembled and displayed.
** [[Images]] of any and all [[KGB]] silliness need to be preserved for posterity in the [[KGB]]'s nifty new '''[http://www.flickr.com/photos/kg3b/ flickr account]''' created by so0s and growing exponentially in popularity.
** The original five-minute [[booth]] -- the one made of styrofoam.
** The original [[KGB]] [[buggy]] can be recreated from its original [[Legos]] courtesy of rm3t and so0s
** Dan Lovinger still has a "Topple the Czar" figure, I think.
** Somewhere, I (ee0r) may still have a FL0M B0MB.
* There were showings of [[KGB: The Movie]] and its sequel(s).
* Some accommodation were made for those defectors who (scary as this is) have small and infant children.
* We played Kremlin.
* There was a showing of [[sock puppets on fire]]

== So what about… ==

So what about having the party in [http://www.housing.cmu.edu/TheUnderground/ The Underground]? It's right near Midway, serves food and beverages, has some comfy seating, and plenty of room. A bunch of us alumni hung out there once during Carnival and it was OK. The food was OK (Gullifty's menu), but nothing special. The party could supply appetizers, drinks, some entrees like salads or sandwiches. No alcohol, probably, but maybe that would be OK if everything else was acceptable. The main "pros" are proximity and atmosphere. Also, if KGB reserves it, it's probably free. The main "cons" are that it's on campus and has no connected outdoor area.--[[User:Eeyore|Eeyore]] 09:14, 11 May 2007 (EDT)

:I'd rather do something located off-campus and with alcohol available, but those are preferences. Logistically, I'm concerned about what hours we could hold the event at The Underground, as well as whether it can accomodate the 100-150 people I'm hoping will attend. --[[User:Laefer|Laefer]] 16:19, 11 May 2007 (EDT)

[[Category:Events]][[Category:Defectors]][[Category:Nifty]]

Talk:20th Anniversary Party

2007-05-11T23:55:08Z

Rjmccall: moved relevant discussion to main article

All hail the glorious return of Cookie Monster! Cookie rules, Elmo drools -so0s
: FYI, my fl0m bomb sits on my desk at home. --[[User:Laefer|Laefer]] 05:17, 6 May 2007 (EDT)

Images

2007-05-09T16:56:04Z

Rjmccall: no apostrophe in the possessive

[[KGB]]'s central warehouse of archived images is located at its [[nifty]] [http://www.flickr.com/photos/kg3b/ Flickr account].

[[Category:Nifty]]

Talk:Coke

2007-05-09T16:54:08Z

Rjmccall:

Just exactly which coke machine is this? Surely not the one Mark runs? Last I checked, Mark's was the definitive coke machine frequented by KGBers and normals alike. [[User:Arwong|Arwong]] 18:30, 7 May 2007 (EDT)

No. For a long time, the CS Department (SCS grad students and staff) maintained an increasingly elaborate Coke machine which, yes, had a web presence detailing its current state. I think the machine went offline sometime in the late 90s --- for awhile, the CS grads hacked up the machines in the departmental lounge, but I'm not sure if those hacks are still active. [[User:Rjmccall|Rjmccall]] 12:54, 9 May 2007 (EDT)

Christopher "Murdock" Clark

2007-05-02T04:02:28Z

Rjmccall: silly error

#REDIRECT [[Cclark]]

Christopher "Murdock" Clark

2007-05-02T04:01:27Z

Rjmccall: Redirect to cclark

#REDIRECT [[CClark]]

2001 Officers

2007-05-02T04:00:16Z

Rjmccall: linkified names

[[President]] -- [[lmarsh|Laura Marsh]]

[[First Vice President]] -- [[Kirstin Connors]]

[[Second Vice President]] -- [[Alisa Grishman]] / [[rjmccall|John McCall]]

[[Recording Secretary]] -- [[Margaret "James" "mid" DeLap]]

[[Corresponding Secretary]] -- [[Sean "Teki" Dobbs]]

[[Treasurer]] -- [[Christopher "Murdock" Clark]]

[[Sergeant at Arms]] -- [[Michael "Misha" Moiseyev]]

{{start box}}
{{succession box|title=[[2001 Officers]]|before=[[2000 Officers]]|after=[[2002 Officers]]}}
{{end box}}

[[category:Officers]]

Tom Strong

2007-04-30T20:50:24Z

Rjmccall:

Tom is really, really old. So old that his andrew id was ts49 instead of one of these new-fangled ones that actually look like your name, and he had to ask to get it unlike all of you ungrateful bastards today. He remembers fondly the days of the internet when posting an off-topic message in a newsgroup would probably get you chewed out by your site administrators, all back before the start of the September that never ends. Everything was much better previously, even the electrons that we used to send over the internet were so much better than the ones you get today, the new ones just don't feel right. It seems like the whole world used to be filled with puppies and kittens and charcoal grills on which to cook them, what more could you ask for? But I digress...

He also knows things and can tell stories that these damn kids keep getting wrong when they try to tell them.

In his nonexistent spare time he is a high school physics teacher when he's not busy talking about himself in the third person and walking to school uphill both ways in the snow in the middle of August. Frightening, isn't it?

Applicants to join the Strongmen of America should submit their requests to Tom Strong c/o King Solomon, The Stronghold, Millennium City, or simply mill about [[Midway]], awaiting the inevitable science-hero standoff.

{{s-start}}
{{s-bef|before=Mike Polis}}
{{s-ttl|title=[[Sergeant at Arms]]
|years=[[1990 Officers|1990-1992]]}}
{{s-aft|after=?}}
{{end}}

[[category:Defectors]]
[[category:Physicists]]

I wanna edit this wiki

2007-04-27T20:04:14Z

Rjmccall: /* Questions With Unhelpful Answers Listed Inside This Subsection */

Awesome. See those links in the upper-right? Have at it.

Caveat: if you don't know any of these people, or really even what KGB is, that makes your editing this wiki ''even more awesome''.

===Questions With Unhelpful Answers Listed Inside This Subsection===

'''How awesome is it that I'm editing this wiki?'''
Present, former, or prospective member of the organization... ''awesome''
Present, former, or prospective Dean of Student Affairs... ''more awesome''
Present, former, or prospective person on the internet... ''even more awesome''
Present, former, or prospective associate of the bylaws committee... ''some or infrequent awesome''

''I am a former entirety of the bylaws committee. Does that count? --Z''

''Shouldn't that be on the discussion page? --ee0r''

''We'll let it slide. --rjmccall''

==Section title==

If you're going to create a vanity page about yourself, that's fine, but you should probably put it in the main namespace (e.g. [[vputin]]), not the user namespace (e.g. [[User:Vputin]]), just for general aesthetic reasons. Also, we're not going to do anything about the improper capitalization of your user id, so there.

Useless People Auction

2007-04-24T20:58:14Z

Rjmccall: illicit though Janie be

=The Event as it Stands Today=
Formerly known as the slave auction, the [[useless people auction]] is an annual [[:category:events|event]] at which [[KGB]] auctions off its [[members]]. Traditionally, [[members]] volunteer to auction six hours of their time to the buyer and can designate someone to outbid anyone they don't want to be bought by. [[KGB]] does not want to know what you do with your useless people.

Frequently, in addition to listing things they can do, useless people encourage people to increase bids by doing tricks, such as push-ups and headstands. In one memorable auction, two groups kept outbidding one another to purchase [[gwillen]]. One group would increase its bid in exchange for [[gwillen]] removing his shirt, and the other would increase its bid when he put it back on.

=The History=
The auction was originally instantiated as a [[KGB]] [[:category:events|event]] in the days of [[yore]]. It was not repeated until the 2001/2002 academic year, where it proved to be a ludicrously successful means for separating [[KGB]] [[members]] from their money. For two years, the auction (under the name Slave Auction) garnered substantial funds for the [[KGB|organization]]'s [[Booth]].

In the 2003/2004 academic year, the event generated considerable controversy. A group of [[hippies|"concerned students"]] complained, composing an email to the [[KGB]]. They found the name to be racist, and much furor was generated. Part of the response stemmed from the accidental scheduling of the event for the same week as Martin Luther King Jr. Day, creating far more offense than was intended.

In recognition of the legitimate claim of offense due to the unfortunate timing, the [[KGB|organization]] decided to change the name of the event, over a vigorous and vociferous dissent (many members were unwilling to acquiesce to what they saw as an unreasonable demand). The name for the event that year was the [THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK] Auction.

During the event, the [[KGB|organization]] was treated to a silent protest during [[lmarsh]]'s provocative and lucrative auction. Subsequently, the [[Tartan]] published a Letter to the Editor complaining about the objectification and implicit discrimination inherent in such an event. The article contained numerous errors, and elicited a response from [[ykhodor]] in the following week's letters to the editor. The follow-up was accompanied by a retraction from the [[Tartan]].

Verily, all were pleased by this result. Except for those who were offended in the first place and except for the [[Tartan]], the editors of which were subsequently [[Pants of the Revolution|crucified]] on a [[cross of their own inattention]].

[[category:Events]]
[[category:stories]]

Afs

2007-04-24T20:53:50Z

Rjmccall: Significant embellishment

The '''A'''ndrew '''F'''ile'''s'''ystem is a networked filesystem implementation developed at CMU and later commercialized by Transarc. It is one of the pillars of CMU's Andrew computing environment.

== Tickets ==

Authentication under AFS (in fact, under Andrew more generally) is accomplished using the [[Kerberos]] protocol, which means we have to talk about tickets. The entire world (not just CMU) is divided into Kerberos ''realms'', which are named in a way which closely tracks DNS. CMU has (at least) four separate realms: <tt>andrew.cmu.edu</tt> (the campus-wide Andrew network), <tt>cs.cmu.edu</tt> (SCS), <tt>ece.cmu.edu</tt> (the ECE department), and <tt>club.cc.cmu.edu</tt> (the computer club). Normally, when you login to a Unix machine, you are just logging in to the local machine; your account information is stored locally, and successfully logging in accomplishes nothing more than granting access to the local machine. Most of the public machines on campus, however, use a special login service which authenticates to a particular Kerberos realm (usually Andrew, but school-specific clusters often authenticate to their own realms); logging in to one of these machines grants you ''tickets'' associated with a particular ''principal'' --- usually, this is <tt>username@realm</tt>. If you need to switch your principal, or if you need to re-authenticate, or if you're just not on a machine whose login service automatically acquires tickets for you, then you can always login using the <tt>kinit</tt> command.

An AFS filesystem associated with a Kerberos realm is called a ''cell''. All of the public AFS cells in the world should be mounted in the directory <tt>/afs</tt> under the same name as their associated realm; sometimes this list needs to be updated.

Logging in to a Kerberos realm grants you a ticket-granting ticket; when you try to connect to most Kerberos-enabled services (e.g. Cyrus), the system attempts to use your ticket-granting tickets to grant you a more specific ticket for that service. AFS cells, however, can be accessed anonymously, so you will sometimes need to instruct the filesystem to acquire AFS tickets when accessing a particular cell; this can be done with the <tt>cklog</tt>, <tt>aklog</tt>, or <tt>afslog</tt> command (depending on your local configuration).

AFS is much like a normal Unix filesystem, except:
* File permissions do not use POSIX file modes; instead, AFS uses an arbitrary access control list (see below).
* File permissions are held on the immediately-containing directory; files themselves only keep track of whether they're executable.
* Hard links and named pipes are not supported.
* Arbitrary device mount points are not supported; however, pointers to other AFS volumes can be mounted within an arbitrary directory.

== Access Control Lists (ACLs) ==

An access control list consists of two sets of (principal, permissions) lists: a '''normal''' rights section, which grants rights to those principals, and a '''negative''' rights section, which denies those rights. Negative rights take precedence over normal rights. Principals may either be users (written <tt>username@cell</tt>, or just abbreviated as <tt>username</tt> in the default cell) or groups (<tt>username:groupname@cell</tt>, or abbreviated as <tt>username:groupname</tt>). There are two special groups: <tt>system:authuser</tt> applies to any authenticated user, while <tt>system:anyuser</tt> applies to any user (authenticated or not); note if a user has been denied access to a file, but the <tt>system:anyuser</tt> group has access to it, the user can simply clear his/her tickets to the cell and gain the denied permission.

The <tt>system:administrators</tt> group always has an implicit <tt>a</tt> (administrate) privilege on a directory. The same applies to a directory's owner, so if you ever accidentally deny yourself privileges to your own directory, know that you can simply change those privileges back.

=== Privileges ===

;a: administrate this directory by changing the entries of its ACL (implicitly granted to the file's owner and the <tt>system:administrators</tt> group)
;l: list the files in this directory, <tt>stat(2)</tt> the directory itself, and list its ACL
;r: read or <tt>stat(2)</tt> the files in this directory
;w: modify files in this directory and change their Unix mode bits
;d: delete files from this directory (either directly or by moving them out)
;i: insert files into this directory (whether by creating them, copying them in, or moving them in)
;k: set read/write locks on files in this directory
;all: shorthand for all privileges
;none: shorthand for no privileges
;read: shorthand for <tt>rl</tt>
;write: shorthand for <tt>rlidwk</tt>

Privileges can be listed with the <tt>fs la</tt> command and modified with the <tt>fs sa</tt> command.

In general, you can only add entries to an ACL for principals registered with the cell's protection servers. It '''is''' possible to register a "foreign" principal with that server, but I don't remember how to do it.

Negative privileges should generally be avoided.

== Useful Commands ==

;pwd: gives the canonical path to the current directory (by chasing '..' pointers up to the filesystem root). This is not at all specific to AFS.
;fs help: provides simple usage help for the <tt>fs</tt> commands
;fs la ''directory'': lists the ACL for a directory
;fs sa ''directory'' ''principal1'' ''privileges1'' ''principal2'' ''privileges2'' ...: grants the given privileges for the given principals (clearing any privileges those principals might already have)
;fs sa -clear ''directory'' ''principal1'' ''privileges1'' ''principal2'' ''privileges2'' ...: sets the ACL for a directory to exactly the given list
;fs sa -negative ''directory'' ''principal1'' ''privileges1'' ''principal2'' ''privileges2'' ...: denies the given privileges for the given principals
;fs lq ''directory'': shows quota information for the volume containing the given directory
;fs mkmount ''directory'' ''volume'': mounts a particular AFS volume at the given filename
;fs lv ''directory'': shows volume information about the given directory
;pts help: provides simple usage help for the <tt>pts</tt> commands
;pts cg ''groupname'': creates a group with yourself as owner; there are limits on how many groups you can have at once (it used to be 10)
;pts mem ''groupname'': lists the membership of a group
;pts adduser ''groupname'' ''user1'' ''user2'' ... : adds users to a group
;pts removeuser ''groupname'' ''user1'' ''user2'' ... : removes users from a group

Talk:Bylaws

2007-04-24T02:46:51Z

Rjmccall:

On an only Slightly Silly note, should this page be locked by someone in appropriate authority?--[[User:Aballard|Aballard]] 18:55, 22 April 2007 (EDT)

No. [[User:Ed|Ed]] 18:43, 23 April 2007 (EDT)

[[Hegel]] save us if we ever have some both authoritative and appropriate. --[[User:Rjmccall|rjmccall]] 22:46, 23 April 2007 (EDT)

Talk:Bylaws

2007-04-24T02:46:19Z

Rjmccall:

Treasurer

2007-04-23T16:06:30Z

Rjmccall: link typo

[[Category:Officers]]
The [[Treasurer]], [[KGB]]'s answer to the monetary tour de force that is Scrooge McDuck, is informally charged with maintaining and swimming in [[KGB]]'s [[Treasury|pool of golden rubles]]. Officially, the [[Bylaws]] provide that:

The Treasurer shall collect and receive all moneys due or
belonging to the [[KGB|organization]], and shall deposit the same in a
bank satisfactory to the [[Exec|Board]], in the name of the [[KGB|organization]].
The Treasurer's books shall be open at all times to the inspection
of the [[Exec|Board]], and the Treasurer shall report to the [[Exec|Board]] and the
[[General body members|general membership]] at every meeting the condition of the
[[KGB|organization]]'s finances. At the [[annual meeting]], the Treasurer
shall render an account of all moneys received and expended during
the previous fiscal year. During the month of September the
Treasurer shall mail to each [[General body members|member]] a statement of [[dues]] for the
ensuing year. The Treasurer shall disperse funds as directed by
the [[Executive Board]]. The Treasurer shall also be responsible for
filing all financial forms applicable to the [[KGB|organization]]. In the
absence of the Treasurer, the [[Recording Secretary]] shall record
allocations made or debts incurred by or to the organization;
however, the [[Recording Secretary]] shall not disburse or collect
moneys, unless authorized so to do by the [[Exec|Board]].

That is to say that the Treasurer manages [[KGB]]'s money. The Treasurer's role in [[meetings]] is to, during the Treasurer's report, conduct KGB's weekly fundraiser, and to give the membership a report on the state of the [[Treasury]], in the denomination of the Treasurer's choosing. The Treasurer writes checks (after an [[allocation]] has been made), accepts [[dues]] and [[t-shirt]] payments, and turns over couch cushions looking for change.

The current (2006-07) treasurer has held the office for so long that she is beginning to resemble Britain's Elizabeth II in that most members can neither recall nor imagine a time without throwing pence at her. In this manner (though thankfully, not in a physical manner) she strongly resembles former Treasurer [[cclark]].

{{Officership}}

Accountability

2007-04-03T08:37:15Z

Rjmccall: Historical developments in accountability

In political science, [[accountability]] is the measure of perceived political power held by a constituency over its representatives.

Accountability in government is often touted as the great accomplishment of the European political tradition. In fact, it is Communism which most truly achieves this ideal by uniting the very truth of government with the body of the working population. Accountability in a capitalist society is limited to the bourgeoisie, which pursues its own ends in the corrupted apparatus of the state; only under Communism are the people truly free.

== Theory of Accountability ==

Accountability necessarily decreases as the size of the population rises; either the number of representatives remains fixed, diluting the influence of an individual member of the representative's constituency, or it increases, diminishing the influence of each representative on the total disbursement of power. This argument, called the Razor of Damocles, can be made arbitrarily rigorous: consider the ''represented-by'' mapping ''e'', a surjection ''e'' from the population set ''P'' into the representative set ''R''. Given a representative ''r'' in ''R'', there exists a constituency set ''C'' which is the pre-image of the singleton ''r'' under ''e''. An accountability-assignment ''A'' assigns accountability values ''v'' to members ''p'' of the population ''P'' such that the sum ''s'' of ''v'' for all ''p'' in each ''C'' for an arbitrary ''r'' is 1. We can assign a partial order ''o'' to such ''A'', allowing ''P'' to range freely, such that ''A1'' precedes ''A2'' if its domain ''D2'' is a subset of ''D1'' and ''v1'' precedes ''v2'' for each ''p'' in ''D1''; note that inequality ''i'' here mandates a strict inequality ''j'' of domains ''D'', i.e. an increase in population ''P'' from ''D2'' to ''D1''. Assuming finite sets ''R'' and ''C'' for each ''r'' in finite set ''R'' permits a calculation of the mean ''m'' of ''v'' for each ''p'' over the set ''C'' for each representative ''r''; that this decreases by a population increase ''I'' is given, Q.E.D. We are indebted for the idea of this proof to Bleck, W., and Cambwell, Q., who wished to remain anonymous.

=== Non-Damoclitian Accountability Theory ===

In the 1700s, mathematicians began to investigate the necessity of the assumptions in the proof above. This "fifth-axiom" moment led to philosophical questioning of the naturality of classicalist accountability theory, which emboldened a young Karl Marx; but we constrain ourselves here to the dull lustre of our mathematical accountability.

The key idea is to imagine a game of hop-scotch. Chalk out ten or so regions on a manifold, by-and-large in a linear progression but ''always'' with several diagonal pairs interspersed throughout the sequence; this is the core of the proof. Imagine a school-girl playing the game. She throws her stone; it lands in the correct square; she advances to the end of the hop-scotch, skipping the stoned region, but she ''has not reached the end of the game''. Instead, she turns, advances to the beginning, pausing only to retrieve her stone. She then throws her stone to the next region in the sequence, ''ad infinitum'', but ''ad que infinitum?'' When she places her stone in a diagonal pair, it nonetheless remains possible to progress forward without jumping over an entire row --- so the removed region must be discontinuous with the ordinary number line! This is sublime nature of the diagonal pair, which Cantor recognized in his celebrated proof. The paired regions can be imagined as a second sequence through the manifold, but even the youngest of girls can easily incorporate this sequence into that of the primary progression --- but regions must be dropped!

This demonstrates that these hop-scotch squares must exist at a higher rank of infinity than those of populations; it becomes impossible to compute means of assignments over them; in short, they have become unaccountable.

Meetings

2007-04-03T07:31:12Z

Rjmccall:

[[KGB]] holds weekly General Body and [[Executive Board]] '''meetings'''.

The current time and location of the General Body meetings are Monday, 4:30pm and Margaret Morrison A14.

The current time and location of the Executive Board meetings are Wednesday, 5:00pm and University Center 306.

The typical order of a meeting is:
* [[Officer]] reports
* [[Committees]]
* [[Old Business]]
* [[New Business]]
* Actual, real, relevant announcements pertaining to the business of KGB as an organization.
* [[General body members|Schmucks]] mouthing off

The [[President]] is constitutionally inclined to preside over General Body Meetings with a [[steel]] [[Sergeant-at-Arms|fist]] and an [[accountability|unaccountable]] [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiat fiat].

I wanna edit this wiki

2007-02-11T11:29:30Z

Rjmccall:

Awesome. See those links in the upper-right? Have at it.

Caveat: if you don't know any of these people, or really even what KGB is, that makes your editing this wiki ''even more awesome''.

===Questions With Unhelpful Answers Listed Inside This Subsection===

'''How awesome is it that I'm editing this wiki?'''
Present, former, or prospective member of the organization... ''awesome''
Present, former, or prospective Dean of Student Affairs... ''more awesome''
Present, former, or prospective person on the internet... ''even more awesome''
Present, former, or prospective associate of the bylaws committee... ''some or infrequent awesome''

==Section title==

If you're going to create a vanity page about yourself, that's fine, but you should probably put it in the main namespace (e.g. [[vputin]]), not the user namespace (e.g. [[User:Vputin]]), just for general aesthetic reasons. Also, we're not going to do anything about the improper capitalization of your user id, so there.

Help It's A Rat

2007-02-11T11:07:05Z

Rjmccall: Initial edit.

[[Category:Events]]

[[Help It's A Rat]] is a traditional [[mindfuck]] game, similar in concept to a [[flash mob]] but with less violence and pasty geek flesh.

The game is best played in a medium-sized space, preferably with a traffic bias of some sort; good examples include the front of an auditorium or a large stairwell landing. A large, flat room with many entrances and exits is pessimal, as it does not allow the game to naturally congeal; a small space frequently proves insufficient for adequate rat-tramping.

The name of Help It's A Rat must not be punctuated, even in speech. If a verbal production error happens to cause a discernible pause while saying Help It's a Rat, the speaker is required to restart his or her current sentence from scratch until the phrase is emitted properly.

At least three players are required for Help It's A Rat (the Screech, the Shriek, and the Basin), but experimental evidence suggests that the Rat, while technically optional, is really quite pivotal to the experience. Multiple Rats, or multiple Help It's A Rats, never work quite as well as you would think --- but feel free to relearn this lesson, it's in the spirit of things.

The key to a successful Help It's A Rat is the same as a successful gainless political reference: Shock and Awe. As a lemma, you must exercise restraint in planning Help It's A Rat; optimally, exactly one victim will recognize the game for what it is, and only after at least fifteen seconds of pandemonium. The Law of Birthdays is your best friend on this point; in brief, the math works out to no more than three games a year, and never on any predictable schedule!

Some people at Clemson play a variant on Help It's A Rat, but they call it Mongoose, which suggests the basic modifications in theme. We've heard reports of UCSB students playing something called Snakes and Rats, but the ancestry there is obviously hard to pin down. We do think that Help It's A Rat is original to CMU, though we don't have a definite timeline of when it started. No-one's found a reliable source on this claim, and it certainly wouldn't pass Wikipedia's verifiability guidelines.

Baker Hall

2006-12-17T08:00:20Z

Rjmccall: Perfection

'''Baker Hall''' (September 28, 1937- ) was a gift from the goddess Athena to the citizens of Paris in honor of the discovery of [[truth]]. After a clerical error (the priest was ''smashed''), it got lost in the telegraph cable and was eventually located on the [[Carnegie Mellon]] campus.

Baker Hall has several notable features, including a well-polished bust of Andrew Carnegie; two floors of long, slanted hallways flowing into [[Porter Hall]]; the former offices of [[Campus Police]]; and a superb spiral red-stone staircase near the eastern end. It also houses the College of Humanities and Social Sciences.

Deviants may occasionally dream of sitting down in a chair -- perhaps from the nearby Baker computer cluster -- at the top of one of the slanted hallways and allowing gravity to propel them down the several hundred feet of hallway into Porter Hall; this hypothetical practice might be known as [[chairing]]. Someone with a more balanced personality, on the other hand, would get a running start.

[[Category:Buildings]]

Baker Hall

2006-12-17T07:52:21Z

Rjmccall: More typographical glitches and a significant embellishment

'''Baker Hall''' (September 28, 1937- ) was a gift from the goddess Athena to the citizens of Paris in honor of the discovery of [[truth]]. After a clerical error (the priest was ''smashed''), it got lost in the telegraph cable and was eventually located on the [[Carnegie Mellon]] campus.

Baker Hall has several notable features, including a well-polished bust of Andrew Carnegie; two floors of long, slanted hallways flowing into [[Porter Hall]]; the former offices of [[Campus Police]]; and a superb spiral red-stone staircase near the eastern end. It also houses the College of Humanities and Social Sciences.

Deviants may occasionally dream of sitting down in a chair -- perhaps from the nearby Baker computer cluster -- at the top of one of the slanted hallways and allowing gravity to propel them down the several hundred feet down the hallway into Porter Hall; this hypothetical practice might be known as [[chairing]]. However, no-one has ever been known to do such a thing.

[[Category:Buildings]]

Baker Hall

2006-12-17T07:42:06Z

Rjmccall: Hopefully the typos weren't part of the joke &c.

Category:Physicists

2006-12-12T07:14:39Z

Rjmccall: preview is my friend

These pages may refer to [[Physicist|physicists]] who have at some point been affiliated with KGB.

Category:Physicists

2006-12-12T07:14:15Z

Rjmccall: argh, pluralism

These pages may refer to [[physicists|Physicist]] who have at some point been affiliated with KGB.

Category:Physicists

2006-12-12T07:13:50Z

Rjmccall:

These pages may refer to [[physicists]] who have at some point been affiliated with KGB.

Physicist

2006-12-12T07:12:56Z

Rjmccall: Initial edit. Beware!

A [[physicist]] is a practitioner of physicry, the ancient art of practical body-building. Although present-day promotion has produced a certain prominence for the popular profile of professional physicry, the plurality of practicing physicists today remain amateurs, as they have been for ages past.

==Notable physicists==

Pythagoras (c582BC - c507BC) is generally considered the first true Western physicist, though many of his most famous results were discovered in China centuries before. Pythagoras is noted and revered among physicists for his foundational work on geometric bodies, particularly the ''parallelogram'', a shape which, being composed of two triangles, has traditionally been named the perfect geometric form.

Much of the structure of modern physicry is due to Max Planck (1858 - 1947) — not merely his work on black body radiation, but his prescience as president of the Kaiser-Wilhelm-Pendelschaft.

Nicolaus Copernicus was a physicist of questionable origins who nonetheless contributed greatly to the study of bodies.

Archimedes was a fraud. His work on floating bodies has been discredited.

==Physicist culture==

The traditional physicist mating ritual begins with the following risqué inquiry: "Have you grown more dense, or has your Schwarzchild radius decreased?" The attraction of this question is unknown.

==Physicry in KGB==

[[:Category:Physicists|List of KGB-affiliated physicists]]

[[Category:Physicists]]

User talk:Aleffert

2006-11-28T23:26:27Z

Rjmccall:

dingo? [[User:Jcreed|Jcreed]] 10:42, 27 November 2006 (EST)

Ringo. [[User:Ed|Ed]] 19:01, 27 November 2006 (EST)

"user talk" == "lingo" [[User:Rjmccall|Rjmccall]] 18:26, 28 November 2006 (EST)

Main Page

2006-11-21T22:24:07Z

Rjmccall:

<big>'''Welcome to the KGB wiki. We are awesome.'''</big>

This is the main page. From here, you can teleport via magic internets to:

* [[What We Do]]
* [[Members]]
* [[History]]
* [[Information]]
* [[:category:Inside jokes|Inside Jokes]]

==Meta==

* [[I wanna edit this wiki]]

I wanna edit this wiki

2006-11-21T22:23:09Z

Rjmccall:

Awesome. See those links in the upper-right? Have at it.

Caveat: if you don't know any of these people, or really even what KGB is, that makes your editing this wiki ''even more awesome''.

==Section title==

If you're going to create a vanity page about yourself, that's fine, but you should probably put it in the main namespace (e.g. [[rjmccall]]), not the user namespace (e.g. [[User:Rjmccall]]), just for general aesthetic reasons. Also, I don't think we can do anything about the improper capitalization of your user id unless the administrator starts fiddling with the [[http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Manual:%24wgCapitalLinks|case-sensitivity settings]] (which might still be worth it at this point).

Main Page

2006-11-21T22:07:06Z

Rjmccall:

Template:Officership

2006-11-21T21:53:17Z

Rjmccall: The worst thing is that I *just wrote* the bit about changing seniority around

Second Vice President

2006-11-21T21:51:59Z

Rjmccall: officership template

[[Category:Officers]]
The Second Vice President is one of the "working" positions. In the terse words of the [[Bylaws]],

The Second Vice-President shall be in charge of organizing
fellowship activities.

Ultimately, this means that the 2nd VP does the most work out of any of the officers. It is the 2nd VP's job to plan, organize, and effectuate all of the [[KGB|organization]]'s [[:category:Events|events]]. Whose job it is to notify the membership of the [[:category:Events|events]] is a topic that has been debated vigorously in the past. While it seems that it would more properly fall to the [[Corresponding Secretary]] to notify the membership, it is often more efficient for the 2nd VP to do so.

{{Officership}}

Sergeant at Arms

2006-11-21T21:51:04Z

Rjmccall: officership template

[[Category:Officers]]
'''Arms''' form a widely-accepted means of lifting large objects, e.g. for [[Booth]].

The ''Sergeant at Arms'' is the enforcer and [[stuff]] keeper of the [[KGB]]. Its mandate is given in the [[Bylaws]] as

The Sergeant-at-Arms shall assist in preserving order as the chair may direct, and other duties as set forth in the standing rules of order.

While this seems to imply that the Sergeant at Arms has the duty to obey the orders of the chair, the Sergeant at Arms is often found to prefer sitting on top of a video projector, blithely blowing bubbles.

The primary duty of the Sergeant at Arms is not listed in the Bylaws. It is the Sergeant at Arms's job to take care of [[KGB]]'s [[stuff]]. The Sergeant at Arms should always have a key to the [[Kage]], so ambitious [[members|comrades]] should consult the Sergeant at Arms when they are suddenly struck by inspiration, or when they find [[stuff]] for repurposing.

{{Officership}}

Treasurer

2006-11-21T21:50:44Z

Rjmccall: officership template

[[Category:Officers]]
The [[Treasurer]], [[KGB]]'s answer to the monetary tour de force that is Scrooge McDuck, is informally charged with maintaining and swimming in [[KGB]]'s [[Treasury|pool of golden rubles]]. Officially, the [[Bylaws]] provide that:

The Treasurer shall collect and receive all moneys due or
belonging to the [[KGB|organization]], and shall deposit the same in a
bank satisfactory to the [[Exec|Board]], in the name of the [[KGB|organization]].
The Treasurer's books shall be open at all times to the inspection
of the [[Exec|Board]], and the Treasurer shall report to the [[Exec|Board]] and the
[[General body members|general membership] at every meeting the condition of the
[[KGB|organization]]'s finances. At the [[annual meeting]], the Treasurer
shall render an account of all moneys received and expended during
the previous fiscal year. During the month of September the
Treasurer shall mail to each [[General body members|member]] a statement of [[dues]] for the
ensuing year. The Treasurer shall disperse funds as directed by
the [[Executive Board]]. The Treasurer shall also be responsible for
filing all financial forms applicable to the [[KGB|organization]]. In the
absence of the Treasurer, the [[Recording Secretary]] shall record
allocations made or debts incurred by or to the organization;
however, the [[Recording Secretary]] shall not disburse or collect
moneys, unless authorized so to do by the [[Exec|Board]].

That is to say that the Treasurer manages [[KGB]]'s money. The Treasurer's role in [[meetings]] is to, during the Treasurer's report, conduct KGB's weekly fundraiser, and to give the membership a report on the state of the [[Treasury]], in the denomination of the Treasurer's choosing. The Treasurer writes checks (after an [[allocation]] has been made), accepts [[dues]] and [[t-shirt]] payments, and turns over couch cushions looking for change.

{{Officership}}

Corresponding Secretary

2006-11-21T21:50:24Z

Rjmccall:

[[Category:Officers]]
The Corresponding Secretary is the official voice of the [[KGB|organization]]. If the [[President]] is the soul, the [[Second Vice President]] is the brain, and the [[Sergeant at Arms]] is the hands of the [[KGB|organization]], the Corresponding Secretary is its gaping, toothy maw. The [[Bylaws]] describe the CorSec by saying:

The Corresponding Secretary shall have charge of all
correspondence pertinent to the organization other than the
correspondence reserved for the Recording Secretary and
Treasurer. The Corresponding Secretary shall be the Editor of
the organization Newsletter.

That is to say, the CorSec makes all official announcements, conducts all official correspondence on behalf of the [[KGB|organization]] (including reading and answering the email), reserves space for organizational [[meetings]] and [[:category:Events|events]], and picks up the physical mail at the mailbox in the [[University center|UC]]. In addition, the CorSec is the editor of [[Pravda?]], that most exemplary of publications.

At times, the CorSec has also announced upcoming events, though this task is often best conducted by the [[Second Vice President]]. Also, the CorSec has historically been in charge of updating the [http://www.cmukgb.org website], though that task is large enough that an ad-hoc position would probably be appropriate.

{{Officership}}

First Vice President

2006-11-21T21:48:39Z

Rjmccall: Added officership template

[[Category:Officers]]
The First Vice President assumes all powers and privileges of the [[President]] in the event of the [[President]]'s timely demise. The 1st VP's charter in the [[Bylaws]] is as follows:

The First Vice-President shall be in charge of fellowship
and shall actively recruit new members.

Being "In Charge of Fellowship" means, at a bare minimum, compelling new people at [[meetings]] to introduce themselves. A loose interpretation of the text would seem to indicate that the 1st VP also has the responsibility of actively recruiting new members, though this rarely occurs in practice.

Because the 1st VP has a dearth of real responsibilities, it is often a retirement position, where officers find themselves when they have outlived their usefulness, but not their popularity.

{{Officership}}

President

2006-11-21T21:48:03Z

Rjmccall: Added officership template

[[Category:Officers]]
The President of KGB is the personification of the organization.

The President's mandate is found in the KGB [[Bylaws]]. It is as follows:

The President
shall preside at all
[[Meetings|meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]]
and of the [[Exec|Board]],
and shall
have the
duties
and
powers
normally applicable to the office of
President in addition
to
those provided for in these bylaws.

This simple description belies the true nature and import of the President.

==The True Nature and Import of the President==

The President of the Board shall preside at meetings of the Board, except that the Chairman shall preside in the presence of and at the request of the President of the Board or in the event of the absence or inability to act of the President of the Board.

The term of office of the President as a Delegate-at-large and Director-at-large shall be three years beginning with the office of President-Elect. The Bylaws shall provide the term of office of other Delegates elected by the voting members which shall be identical with the term of office as Director. All shall coincide with the fiscal year of the IEEE.

The President shall be the chief executive officer of the corporation and shall, subject to the control of the Board of Directors, supervise and control the affairs of the corporation and the activities of the officers. He or she shall perform all duties incident to his or her office and such other duties as may be required by law, by the Articles of Incorporation or by these Bylaws or which may be prescribed from time to time by the Board of Directors. Unless another person is specifically appointed as Chairperson of the Board of Directors, the President shall preside at all meetings of the Board of Directors. Except as otherwise expressly provided by law, by the Articles of Incorporation or by these Bylaws, he or she shall, in the name of the corporation, execute such deeds, mortgages, bonds, contracts, checks or other instruments which may from time to time be authorised by the Board of Directors.

These are the current duties of the President:
* Serves as official spokesperson for the Executive Committee and the Minnesota Athletic Trainers’ Association.
* Presides over the meeting of the Executive Committee prior to the annual business meeting.
* Calls additional meetings of the Executive Committee as deemed necessary and advisable.
* Implements the mandates and policies of the association as determined by the Executive Committee.
* Possesses full power and complete responsibility to transact all business for and on behalf of the association.
* Presides over the annual business meeting.
* Appoints all association committees with the approval of the Executive Committee.
* Acts as Executive Committee liaison to the Legislative Committee.
* Acts as Executive Committee liaison committee to the GLATA Annual Meeting Committee (when committee is functioning).

The President shall set the exact dates for the Chapter meetings and shall call such meetings of the Executive Committee as he/she deems necessary. The President shall appoint all committees to serve during the President's term, except the Nominating Committee and the Chairman of the Program Committee. At the end of the President's term of office he/she shall assume the office of the Past President.

The President, after advice and consultation with the Vice-President and the Director of Alumni Affairs, shall appoint Alumni Association members to serve as representatives to the Association of Yale Alumni. Except when the representative is appointed to fill an unexpired term, each member so appointed shall serve for three years and shall not be eligible for successive terms. In the event that the authorized representation of the Alumni Association on the Association of Yale Alumni is changed, the Executive Council of the Alumni Association shall determine how the terms of new appointees shall be adjusted to conform to change.

{{Template:Officership}}

Template:Officership

2006-11-21T21:47:19Z

Rjmccall:

Sergeant-at-Arms

2006-11-21T21:44:48Z

Rjmccall:

#REDIRECT [[Sergeant at Arms]]

Second Vice-President

2006-11-21T21:44:30Z

Rjmccall: I can't type

#REDIRECT [[Second Vice President]]