https://wiki.cmukgb.org/api.php?action=feedcontributions&user=Ed&feedformat=atomKGB Wiki - User contributions [en]2024-03-29T12:12:08ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.28.2https://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Talk:I_wanna_edit_this_%22I_wanna_edit_this_%27I_wanna_edit_this_wiki%27%22&diff=5771Talk:I wanna edit this "I wanna edit this 'I wanna edit this wiki'"2011-06-21T14:16:41Z<p>Ed: New page: I think the content of this page is out of line with the actual rules for nested quoting in English, which provides for unlimited number of nests simply by alternating single quotes and do...</p>
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<div>I think the content of this page is out of line with the actual rules for nested quoting in English, which provides for unlimited number of nests simply by alternating single quotes and double quotes. Therefore I propose that the article be changed to read, "English lacks a good quoted-quoted-quoted mechanism," or, "English lacks a sufficiently funny quoted-quoted-quoted mechanism." <br />
<br />
Also, there's a [[suzuki|deeper problem]] with going more than three levels with this joke.[[User:Ed|Ed]] 10:16, 21 June 2011 (EDT)</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Talk:Sea_foam_green&diff=4845Talk:Sea foam green2011-04-26T02:42:27Z<p>Ed: New page: Some people use a tasteful shade of Dorian Grey, but I prefer Seafoam Green. As long as KGB has a can of seafoam green paint, I shall never die. ~~~~</p>
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<div>Some people use a tasteful shade of Dorian Grey, but I prefer Seafoam Green. As long as KGB has a can of seafoam green paint, I shall never die. [[User:Ed|Ed]] 22:42, 25 April 2011 (EDT)</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Useless_People_Auction&diff=4379Useless People Auction2011-02-21T19:30:15Z<p>Ed: Edited to reflect ongoing controversy</p>
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<div>=The Event as it Stands Today=<br />
Formerly known as the slave auction, the [[useless people auction]] is an annual [[:category:events|event]] at which [[KGB]] auctions off its [[members]]. Traditionally, [[members]] volunteer to auction six hours of their time to the buyer and can designate someone to outbid anyone they don't want to be bought by. [[KGB]] does not want to know what you do with your useless people.<br />
<br />
Frequently, in addition to listing things they can do, useless people encourage people to increase bids by doing tricks, such as push-ups and headstands. In one memorable auction, two groups kept outbidding one another to purchase [[gwillen]]. One group would increase its bid in exchange for [[gwillen]] removing his shirt, and the other would increase its bid when he put it back on.<br />
<br />
=Present day controversy=<br />
In the 2011 Useless People Auction, scandal of an unnamed, scantily clad form presented itself, to the offense of several attendees. Nobody is quite sure what happened on that terrible day. <br />
<br />
[[Exec]] elected to hold a [[Bylaws#Section_2._Special_Organization_Meetings|Special Organization Meeting]] to discuss possible changes to the format and/or procedures of the Auction. The decision was made not to inform Defectors of this meeting. <br />
<br />
[[sk4p]] posted to the [[bboard]], dispelling any and all cloaks or daggers that might have otherwise been attracted to the meeting. A mostly polite flamewar erupted regarding the propriety of said disclosure, handily vanquishing what might otherwise have been a productive morning.<br />
<br />
Details are still unfolding. Zut alors!<br />
<br />
=The History=<br />
The auction was originally instantiated as a [[KGB]] [[:category:events|event]] in the days of [[yore]]. It was not repeated until the 2001/2002 academic year, where it proved to be a ludicrously successful means for separating [[KGB]] [[members]] from their money. For two years, the auction (under the name Slave Auction) garnered substantial funds for the [[KGB|organization]]'s [[Booth]]. <br />
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In the 2003/2004 academic year, the event generated considerable controversy. A group of [[hippies|"concerned students"]] complained, composing an email to the [[KGB]]. They found the name to be racist, and much furor was generated. Part of the response stemmed from the accidental scheduling of the event for the same week as Martin Luther King Jr. Day, creating far more offense than was intended. <br />
<br />
In recognition of the legitimate claim of offense due to the unfortunate timing, the [[KGB|organization]] decided to change the name of the event, over a vigorous and vociferous dissent (many members were unwilling to acquiesce to what they saw as an unreasonable demand). The name for the event that year was the [[THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK]] Auction.<br />
<br />
During the event, the [[KGB|organization]] was treated to a silent protest during [[lmarsh]]'s provocative and lucrative auction. Subsequently, the [[Tartan]] published a Letter to the Editor complaining about the objectification and implicit discrimination inherent in such an event. The article contained numerous errors, and elicited a response from [[ykhodor]] in the following week's letters to the editor. The follow-up was accompanied by a retraction from the [[Tartan]].<br />
<br />
Verily, all were pleased by this result. Except for those who were offended in the first place and except for the [[Tartan]], the editors of which were subsequently [[Pants of the Revolution|crucified]] on a [[cross of their own inattention]].<br />
<br />
Subsequent revision changed the name of the event to its present form: The Useless People Auction. This presented various pleasing synergies with KGB's long-standing [[Useless Stuff Auction]].<br />
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[[category:Events]]<br />
[[category:stories]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Minutes20061009&diff=3453Minutes200610092008-07-25T21:36:31Z<p>Ed: </p>
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<div>===Officer Reports===<br />
<br />
dlstern: firstestest ocifer to ocifer report. Did interviews, found out that as you compose punk songs, you get dumb. This week, more interviews, then flown out to Chicago for more interviews. There were fetus-picture protesters on Forbes. (Psyfe was turned on). Made Dave hungry, because skipped lunch and meat is meat.<br />
<br />
lea: found post-it notes in the hallway earlier. People should submit to Tartan comics, and to Dom. These with be in Pravda? Birds and fishes.<br />
Adam Lederer:ECE:Alexandria Virginia:Lives in New house.<br />
Alex:ECE:TJ/Texas:Eats pizza every day.<br />
<br />
csjackso: Name is normal! In computer music, watched a boring video for an hour and a half, learned two things: professors looked the same for 20 years, and computer music was all about bad horror movie music. Have an event: KGB camping. Like summer camp! Smores, activities. On Friday 13.<br />
<br />
Dom: Just got a submission to Pravda?! Homework put off until Friday. Pravda next week, so should submit! to! Pravda?! Send submissions to ddagradi.<br />
<br />
edanaher: Grading and complexity, have chair and halo, now.<br />
<br />
eleather: Had a lot of fun this weekend, saw stuff, gaming, have cute kittens, good at climbing other things. Subject of loving: No Sacajawea's. Ten dimes are better, unless soldered together.<br />
<br />
cmartens: not here, nor is substitute cmartens.<br />
<br />
===Committees===<br />
<br />
Steelers committee: Oh God No!<br />
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Pop occultism: German proverb: no trees touch the sky: didn't realize Jimmy Hendricks plants trees. Deep, deep faith illuminates fear. Deep water illuminates your oxygen supply. Love is a present that can be given every day you live. Also, STDs. You look pretty, oh so pretty, so pretty and witty, and gay!<br />
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Misappropriations: Propagation of random art on campus: point of interest: campus police has a running pool for which organization gets flag on top of walking to the sky. Campus police badge would be interesting. Underwear committee adds suggestion.<br />
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Almond: request report from stick-figure exec. Not here.<br />
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Misappropriations: Kinky answers previous question.<br />
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Assassins: starts tonight, needs more people.<br />
<br />
Quuxom: request report from committee to kick Teki in the ass.<br />
<br />
Committee for really annoying realizations reports that banks are closed on Columbus day.<br />
<br />
Kazoo assassination committee reports that friends don't let friends play kazoos because friends don't like stabbing friends through the eye with kazoos..<br />
<br />
WWW victory committee reports pretty posters.<br />
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Storytelling: Parental advisory sticker? Filthier corners of the English language. Kurt Vonnegut's favorite joke. London Times did thing on limericks, including contest, publish top three limericks. They tend to be off-color. Not normally published, but in this case, would make an exception. Lots of submissions, third one: good , filthy. Second was better, but awful. The first one was agreed that it should never see the light of day. Everyone finds the author: She was 40, living in Oxford. Want to know what she wrote, won't tell. Interviewer has famous program, decides to interview her. She's honored to have him, invites him in. Wants her on the show to tell her story. Read the limerick, but can replace any word/syllable with something nonsensical. She agrees. Talk about her, everyone knows she's going to read it. Will replace any uncomfortable syllable with da. Says: da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da fucking cunt.<br />
<br />
Misappropriations always thought that Kurt Vonnegut's favorite joke was the universe.<br />
<br />
===Old Business===<br />
<br />
pfennig: Glissen: pudding. Blamed for jello in CMU cafe.<br />
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===New Business===<br />
<br />
Motion to create the book committee: Doomsday committee likes books. Fold spindle, mutilate committee reports that books are hard to read without eyes. Also hard to read books inside of a dog. Passes, auction: Paul $4, chair self.<br />
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Motion to make supermanatee the KGB mascot for at least 30 minutes. Dave: Fuck you! Hilarity with the projector. Passes.<br />
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Motion to pass this motion by acclamation. Fails.<br />
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Motion to create the committee to promote elder gods. Change to create the committee to promote bespectacled avuncular elder gods. Passes: $4 to mstephen, chair is self.<br />
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Motion to create the committee to abuse the NY Times. Purpose: to abuse the NY Times for the fact that they missed NY nukes. Because it's the early edition. Respectable avuncular god committee reports that each nuke brings us closer to Aziroth. Motion to change NY Times to Pravda? Not friendly, or pursued. Fails.<br />
<br />
Motion to create a screenshot of a salute of the president fails.<br />
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Motion to create the Greg Zearfoss memorial committee. Purpose: to speak of Greg as if he were dead. Greg approves. If he were here, he would approve. Passes: $8 to Quuxom, chair self.<br />
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Motion to declare jcreed a hero of the people so we can have a party for him. Request jcreed to strike a heroic pose. Passes by acclamation.<br />
<br />
===Actual Real Relevant Announcements Pertaining to the Business of KGB as an Organization===<br />
<br />
Still have an announcement, same, will be on bboard. Nothing interesting will happen.<br />
<br />
Assassins begins midnight.<br />
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Booth: will decide real soon now, if interested in being chair, should do it! It's fun. Have to be a CMU student. Maybe can have unofficial chairs.<br />
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CTFwS: November 10: tell Ed Ryan! Pretend to be a cute girl.<br />
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===Schmucks===<br />
<br />
Em: CMU is weird: got an e-mail that everyone gets late days because they couldn't write it again. Third out of four, wouldn't give them. Asked to be on code review committee. That's Honor code.<br />
<br />
Should see SnS on Saturday.<br />
<br />
In the last two weeks have written screen play on fictional empire, also working on a real empire.<br />
<br />
Motion to adj---</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Category:Comics&diff=3060Category:Comics2007-05-24T18:08:24Z<p>Ed: </p>
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<div>Over the years, a number of [[KGB]] [[members]] have authored comic strips.</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Joe_the_Circle&diff=3059Joe the Circle2007-05-24T18:07:37Z<p>Ed: category:comics</p>
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<div>One-time [[The_Tartan|Tartan]] comic strip authored and drawn by [[Mike Shapiro]].<br />
Now, in [http://joe-the-circle.com/ web comic / blog form].<br />
<br />
[[category:comics]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Adventures_of_a_Nineties_Eggplant_and_his_Pet_Fish&diff=3058Adventures of a Nineties Eggplant and his Pet Fish2007-05-24T18:07:20Z<p>Ed: category:comics</p>
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<div>[[The_Tartan|Tartan]] comic strip authored and drawn by one-time KGB [[President]], [[Barry Brumitt]]. Famed for it's classic dialog:<br />
<br />
"Oh no!"<br />
<br />
"No no no no!"<br />
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"Whew!"<br />
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[[category:comics]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=11:45&diff=305711:452007-05-24T18:06:38Z<p>Ed: </p>
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<div>[[Image:1145-original.png|thumb|300px|"The first 11:45."]]<br />
<br />
[[11:45]] is a little robot cartoon in the [[Tartan]].<br />
<br />
==History==<br />
<br />
The first incarnation of 11:45, seen here, was drawn by [[Ed]] in the [[CMU]] [[Math/Physics Lounge]]. Someone had asked him the time and he correctly guessed 11:45. Excited, he wrote it on the whiteboard. Later he started doodling and the doodle became a robot.<br />
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[[jcreed]] saw this drawing and put it on his blog. In time, jcreed rose to the position of Comics Editor of the [[Tartan]], and [[Ed]] offered to draw an 11:45 comic for him. Thus it came to pass that, for two and a half years, Ed drew 11:45. <br />
<br />
Upon his graduation, [[Ed]] passed the comic on to [[lea]], who had created a substantial amount of 11:45 fan art, including a plush toy with red, light-up eyes. She has been drawing the comic ever since, whenever her busy life as an architecture student permits.<br />
<br />
==Endorsements==<br />
<br />
"11:45 is the only consistently worthwhile thing in the [[Tartan]]." --Kenn Hamm<br />
<br />
"11:45 is my favorite comic!" --Another [[Tartan]] cartoonist at a Tartan cartoon staff meeting. It made the other cartoonists very sad.<br />
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==See Also==<br />
<br />
[http://nadine.nilmop.org/1145 Ed's 11:45 archive.]<br />
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[[category:comics]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=11:45&diff=305611:452007-05-24T18:05:59Z<p>Ed: </p>
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<div>[[Image:1145-original.png|thumb|300px|"The first 11:45."]]<br />
<br />
[[11:45]] is a little robot cartoon in the [[Tartan]].<br />
<br />
==History==<br />
<br />
The first incarnation of 11:45, seen here, was drawn by [[Ed]] in the [[CMU]] [[Math/Physics Lounge]]. Someone had asked him the time and he correctly guessed 11:45. Excited, he wrote it on the whiteboard. Later he started doodling and the doodle became a robot.<br />
<br />
[[jcreed]] saw this drawing and put it on his blog. In time, jcreed rose to the position of Comics Editor of the [[Tartan]], and [[Ed]] offered to draw an 11:45 comic for him. Thus it came to pass that, for two and a half years, Ed drew 11:45. <br />
<br />
Upon his graduation, [[Ed]] passed the comic on to [[lea]], who had created a substantial amount of 11:45 fan art, including a plush toy with red, light-up eyes. She has been drawing the comic ever since, whenever her busy life as an architecture student permits.<br />
<br />
==Endorsements==<br />
<br />
"11:45 is the only consistently worthwhile thing in the [[Tartan]]." --Kenn Hamm<br />
<br />
"11:45 is my favorite comic!" --Another [[Tartan]] cartoonist at a Tartan cartoon staff meeting. It made the other cartoonists very sad.<br />
<br />
==See Also==<br />
<br />
[http://nadine.nilmop.org/1145 Ed's 11:45 archive.]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=11:45&diff=305511:452007-05-24T18:05:31Z<p>Ed: </p>
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<div>[[Image:1145-original.jpg|thumb|300px|"The first 11:45."]]<br />
<br />
[[11:45]] is a little robot cartoon in the [[Tartan]].<br />
<br />
==History==<br />
<br />
The first incarnation of 11:45, seen here, was drawn by [[Ed]] in the [[CMU]] [[Math/Physics Lounge]]. Someone had asked him the time and he correctly guessed 11:45. Excited, he wrote it on the whiteboard. Later he started doodling and the doodle became a robot.<br />
<br />
[[jcreed]] saw this drawing and put it on his blog. In time, jcreed rose to the position of Comics Editor of the [[Tartan]], and [[Ed]] offered to draw an 11:45 comic for him. Thus it came to pass that, for two and a half years, Ed drew 11:45. <br />
<br />
Upon his graduation, [[Ed]] passed the comic on to [[lea]], who had created a substantial amount of 11:45 fan art, including a plush toy with red, light-up eyes. She has been drawing the comic ever since, whenever her busy life as an architecture student permits.<br />
<br />
==Endorsements==<br />
<br />
"11:45 is the only consistently worthwhile thing in the [[Tartan]]." --Kenn Hamm<br />
<br />
"11:45 is my favorite comic!" --Another [[Tartan]] cartoonist at a Tartan cartoon staff meeting. It made the other cartoonists very sad.<br />
<br />
==See Also==<br />
<br />
[http://nadine.nilmop.org/1145 Ed's 11:45 archive.]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=File:1145-original.png&diff=3054File:1145-original.png2007-05-24T17:45:40Z<p>Ed: The first 11:45.</p>
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<div>The first 11:45.</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Template:Ref&diff=2998Template:Ref2007-05-19T05:52:39Z<p>Ed: Monkey realizes Monkey doesn't know how to do wiki templates. Gives up</p>
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<div></div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Committee_to_Hijack_Protests_and_Campus_Tours&diff=2997Committee to Hijack Protests and Campus Tours2007-05-19T05:51:47Z<p>Ed: </p>
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<div>==The Formation==<br />
<br />
This [[committees|committee]] was formed in the Spring of 2003. In this semester there were many protests and rallies in opposition to America's actions in the middle east. Very active in the peace rallies was none other than [[KGB]]'s [[Agent M]], hero of the [[Members|People]] and then [[1st VP]]. [[Agent M]] was leading a massive march through Oakland when he came across an enthusiastic, junior member of the [[KGB|organization]], who was then the Corresponding Secretary. This brash fellow thought the idea of a protest delightful, and joined in whole-heartedly. Though he protested very loudly, he did not seem to be protesting quite the same things as the others present. In time, the march devolved into a spaghetti party at some guy's house. <br />
<br />
The committee was formed at the [[Meetings|General Body meeting]] the next day. Fearing that all of his efforts toward peace would be subverted, [[Agent M]] challenged the committee's chairman to prove that he was as apolitical as he claimed, and to do so by exerting his efforts toward the next pro-war rally to occur.<br />
<br />
Conveniently, there was one scheduled mere days later.<br />
<br />
==The College Republicans==<br />
<br />
The chairman called the committee together and brainstormed. Together they created a list of slogans to use on signs at the protest. The chairman made a quick trip to the art store, a quick trip to the [[Kage]], and they were good to go. The signs read as follows:<br />
<br />
* Free Kevin Mitnick (Kevin Mitnick had, in fact, been released some weeks prior, and was speaking at [[CMU]] that very evening.)<br />
* Colon Cancer: The Hidden Killer<br />
* Wait! Eye of a Mayo Sandwich<br />
* I Like My Wars Like I Like My Coffee... COVERED IN BEES!<br />
* ICH MAG DIE SCHÖNEN GELBEN BLUMEN (Everything sounds scarier in German. This translates to "I like the pretty, yellow flowers.")<br />
* You Have a Secret Admirer (This was meant to evoke fortune cookies. Under the main text, in a smaller font, read the words "In Bed.")<br />
<br />
The [[KGB]] arrived at the flagpole in the [[Cut]] the next day. There were about a dozen of them. There were a dozen College Republicans. The media was there in force. They milled around for a while and were heavily interviewed. ([http://www.post-gazette.com/localnews/20030319prowarreg3p3.asp News coverage.]) Finally, they marched in a circle around the flagpole, singing "The Ants Go Marching," and marched off into the (proverbial) sunset.<br />
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==Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church==<br />
<br />
The next major action of the committee came some months later. After the death of Mr. Rogers, may he rest peacefully in the Land of Makebelieve, Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church set out to show the world how terrible of a person Mr. Rogers (may his cardigans remain pristine and serve as a reminder to us for all eternity) was. For you see, Mr. Rogers (may his neighborhood prosper and suffer little crime for all perpetuity) was a minister in a church that was openly supportive of homosexuals, and never took the opportunity to use his statuts as a national celebrity to openly denounce them. <br />
<br />
The [[KGB]] was within walking distance of one of the protest sites, and so they marched once again into the fray. This time they had the following signs:<br />
<br />
* Shave the Whales<br />
* God Hates Bags<br />
* I support drilling<br />
* Sam will kill him if he tries anything.<br />
* Post further ideas to the bboard.<br />
* Ambiguity: For a sooner tomorrow<br />
* No test material on this sign.<br />
* Deine Mutti hat mein Schild GEGESSEN (German again. This time is says, "Yo mama ate my sign.")<br />
<br />
Upon their arrival, some counter protesters on the scene were heard to exclaim, "The surrealists are here!" Loyal [[Members|Comrades]] marched with their signs while the chairman hopped around screaming pertinent slogans such as, "Don't tread on me!" and "Free government for the colonies!"<br />
<br />
Even the previously doubtful [[Agent M]] was in attendance, all tarted up. He was flirting pretty heavily with one of Fred Phelps's daughters.<br />
<br />
==Campus Tours==<br />
<br />
The committee never actually hijacked any campus tours. Chalk it up to apathy.<br />
<br />
<br />
[[category:Committees]]<br />
[[category:Stories]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Template:Note&diff=2996Template:Note2007-05-19T05:44:55Z<p>Ed: </p>
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<div><cite id="endnote_{{{1}}}" style="font-style: normal;">[[#ref_{{{1}}}|'''^{{{2|}}}''']]</cite>&nbsp;<noinclude></div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Template:Ref&diff=2995Template:Ref2007-05-19T05:43:54Z<p>Ed: Trying to set up footnoting..</p>
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<div><span class="reference plainlinksneverexpand" id="ref_{{{1}}}"><sup>{{#if:{{{2|}}}|[[#endnote_{{{1}}}|{{{2}}}]]|[{{fullurl:{{FULLPAGENAME}}}}#endnote_{{{1|}}}]}}</sup></span><noinclude></div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=John_Balthazar&diff=2994John Balthazar2007-05-19T05:01:39Z<p>Ed: </p>
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<div>[[John Balthazar]] is [[Ed]]'s alter ego, nom de plume, and steadfast, invisible friend. He takes the rap for Ed whenever faced with [[Committee to Hijack Protests and Campus Tours|reporters]] or waitstaff, and his invisibility always helps him get away in the end. What a guy!</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Talk:Eric_Moore&diff=2993Talk:Eric Moore2007-05-19T04:55:20Z<p>Ed: </p>
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<div>Since it seems we have only one of these seven semesters documented in the [[:category:officers|Officers]] pages, it would seem that your other semesters were in the years we don't have documented. They stand there, cold, empty, unloved. Show them you love them. Show them you still care! [[User:Ed|Ed]] 00:55, 19 May 2007 (EDT)</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Tartan&diff=2879Tartan2007-05-09T19:03:11Z<p>Ed: Tartan disambiguation page</p>
<hr />
<div>{{disambig}}<br />
<br />
Did you mean:<br />
<br />
[[The Tartan]] - [[CMU]]'s [[student]] newspaper?<br />
<br />
[[Tartan Grill]] - A defunct [[CMU]] eatery?<br />
<br />
[[Tartan (cloth)]] - Mascot of [[CMU]]?</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=User_talk:So0s&diff=2801User talk:So0s2007-05-07T17:18:32Z<p>Ed: </p>
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<div>As a monarch and coup leader, I hereby decree that there is no need for discussion here. So there. -so0s<br />
<br />
I disagree. [[User:Ed|Ed]] 13:18, 7 May 2007 (EDT)</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Geek&diff=2693Geek2007-05-06T07:39:58Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Geek]] is a term of [[affection]] and [[comrade|comradeship]] when applied to one's fellow [[KGB]] [[members]]. When used by a member of the [[outside world]], well that there's a fighting word...except geeks don't exactly fight...they just secretly conspire to take over the world...yeah!</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=User_talk:So0s&diff=2692User talk:So0s2007-05-06T07:38:33Z<p>Ed: </p>
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<div>As a monarch and coup leader, I hereby decree that there is no need for discussion here. So there. -so0s<br />
<br />
Too bad. [[User:Ed|Ed]] 03:38, 6 May 2007 (EDT)</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Female&diff=2691Female2007-05-06T07:37:55Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>If you had to look this up, then you're definitely a [[KGB]] [[members|member]]. <br><br />
<br />
Move along [[comrade]], nothing to see here.</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Talk:1988_Officers&diff=2620Talk:1988 Officers2007-05-02T04:49:21Z<p>Ed: /* 3rd VP and Historian */</p>
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<div>I think it's Brian Hobbs, if memory serves me correctly.<br />
<br />
I don't remember Will Frank *not* being 2nd VP during that first year. I remember well that he and I would do our orgo lab reports in meetings (we were lab partners) instead of like, say, following those pesky Roberts Rules or paying any attention to what was going on and stuff. I also do not ever remember being any alternate to any office. First Female Member? Yes, that was me. First Female President, well, only cause no one else had the cojones to take over. Spandex Queen? Well, I was a lot younger then and it's easier to play Laser Tag in Doherty/Wean in sneakers, a black unitard and a bitchin' red & black KGB mouse & Coke bottle T-shirt. The unitard I believe lead my team to victory...it either made me marginally more aerodynamic or it stunned the heck out of my fellow opponents (all male) enough to assure my team to total domination of the game.<br />
<br />
Just found a pic of Dan Appelquist, Kevin Goldsmith, & Eric Snider at http://www.danampersanderic.org/who_are_dan_and_eric/dan_and_eric.jpg<br />
<br />
== 3rd VP and Historian ==<br />
<br />
I don't think these positions were ever formally in the bylaws. Do you have something that indicates they were? --[[User:Laefer|Laefer]] 14:09, 1 May 2007 (EDT)<br />
<br />
: I have an old file called "Beginnings" which lists them as having been elected (though that may have predated the bylaws). The source for the information was listed as having been you. [[User:Ed|Ed]] 20:03, 1 May 2007 (EDT)<br />
<br />
:: Yeah, we didn't actually elect those positions. 3rd VP became Chairman of the Buggy Committee. Historian was never formalized. (Wow, those neurons were definitely in retirement.) --[[User:Laefer|Laefer]] 20:43, 1 May 2007 (EDT)<br />
<br />
::: Huh. Where did those names come from then? [[User:Ed|Ed]] 00:49, 2 May 2007 (EDT)</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Talk:1988_Officers&diff=2615Talk:1988 Officers2007-05-02T00:03:04Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>I think it's Brian Hobbs, if memory serves me correctly.<br />
<br />
I don't remember Will Frank *not* being 2nd VP during that first year. I remember well that he and I would do our orgo lab reports in meetings (we were lab partners) instead of like, say, following those pesky Roberts Rules or paying any attention to what was going on and stuff. I also do not ever remember being any alternate to any office. First Female Member? Yes, that was me. First Female President, well, only cause no one else had the cojones to take over. Spandex Queen? Well, I was a lot younger then and it's easier to play Laser Tag in Doherty/Wean in sneakers, a black unitard and a bitchin' red & black KGB mouse & Coke bottle T-shirt. The unitard I believe lead my team to victory...it either made me marginally more aerodynamic or it stunned the heck out of my fellow opponents (all male) enough to assure my team to total domination of the game.<br />
<br />
Just found a pic of Dan Appelquist, Kevin Goldsmith, & Eric Snider at http://www.danampersanderic.org/who_are_dan_and_eric/dan_and_eric.jpg<br />
<br />
== 3rd VP and Historian ==<br />
<br />
I don't think these positions were ever formally in the bylaws. Do you have something that indicates they were? --[[User:Laefer|Laefer]] 14:09, 1 May 2007 (EDT)<br />
<br />
I have an old file called "Beginnings" which lists them as having been elected (though that may have predated the bylaws). The source for the information was listed as having been you. [[User:Ed|Ed]] 20:03, 1 May 2007 (EDT)</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=1988_Officers&diff=26061988 Officers2007-05-01T16:52:16Z<p>Ed: Added 3rd VP and Historian</p>
<hr />
<div>[[President]] - [[Jon Bennett]]<br />
<br />
[[First Vice President]] - [[Todd Williamson]]<br />
<br />
[[Second Vice President]] - [[Will Frank]]<br />
<br />
[[Third Vice President]] - [[Doug DeCarlo]]<br />
<br />
[[Recording Secretary]] - [[User:Laefer|Jay Laefer]]<br />
<br />
[[Corresponding Secretary]] - [[Dan Lovinger]]<br />
<br />
[[Treasurer]] - [[Chris Newman]]<br />
<br />
[[Sergeant at Arms]] - [[Dave Markley]]<br />
<br />
[[Historian]] - [[Ethan Evans]]<br />
<br />
This is drawn from an old spreadsheet in <tt>~kgb/lib/lists</tt> which has a strange format. Jon served as president through the Fall semester, at which point [[User:so0s|Susan Olson]] (so0s aka the Spandex Queen and First [[girls|Female]] Member and President) took over. Susan Olson is also an alternate [[2nd VP]], and a second alternate [[2nd VP]] by the name of [[Brian Hobbs]]. This seems to suggest a tumultuous first year, with Susan Olson taking first the vacant office of [[2nd VP]], later to accede to the office of [[President]], presumably by [[Mirror Universe|assassination]].<br />
<br />
This founding year is also the last year in which the [[Third Vice President]] and [[Historian]] positions existed. They didn't last long.<br />
<br />
{{start box}}<br />
{{succession box|title=[[1988 Officers]]|before=None|after=[[1989 Officers]]}}<br />
{{end box}}<br />
<br />
[[category:Officers]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Third_Vice_President&diff=2605Third Vice President2007-05-01T16:50:30Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>The [[Third Vice President]] is a historical position in charge of [[KGB]]'s [[buggy]]. When the [[KGB|organization]] was founded, there were nine officer positions, of which Third Vice President was one. The members of that founding era quickly realized that [[:category:officers|officers]] represented three quarters of their [[members|membership]], and the position was dropped.<br />
<br />
[[category:Officers]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Historian&diff=2604Historian2007-05-01T16:50:02Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>The [[Historian]] is a historical position in charge of [[KGB]]'s [[history]]. When the [[KGB|organization]] was founded, there were nine officer positions, of which Historian was one. The [[members]] of that founding era quickly realized that [[:category:officers|officers]] represented three quarters of their membership, and the position was dropped.<br />
<br />
[[category:Officers]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Historian&diff=2603Historian2007-05-01T16:49:19Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>The [[Historian]] is a historical position in charge of [[KGB]]'s [[history]]. When the [[KGB|organization]] was founded, there were nine officer positions, of which Historian was one. The [[members]] of that founding era quickly realized that [[:category:officers|officers]] represented three quarters of their membership, and the position was dropped.</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Third_Vice_President&diff=2602Third Vice President2007-05-01T16:47:49Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>The [[Third Vice President]] is a historical position in charge of [[KGB]]'s [[buggy]]. When the [[KGB|organization]] was founded, there were nine officer positions, of which Third Vice President was one. The members of that founding era quickly realized that [[:category:officers|officers]] represented three quarters of their [[members|membership]], and the position was dropped.</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Work&diff=2526Work2007-04-29T21:08:02Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>The [[work]] is that in which one stores one's [[heart]].</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Units&diff=2525Units2007-04-29T21:07:27Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{true}}<br />
<br />
'''Units''' are the units by which [[CMU]] classes are measured. Most colleges and universities give each course a value in "[[credits]]". Credits usually represent the number of hours each week that a [[students|student]] in that course will spend in class. CMU however, uses "units", which are sometimes advertised as the number of hours each week that a student in that course will spend both attending [[class]] and doing [[work]] related to the course. A course at another institution that would be "worth" 3 credits is worth 9 units at CMU. The naive will assume that "units" are merely 3 times the number of credits. That is probably wrong. One might also naively assume that "units" will actually correspond to the amount of work one will put in each week. That is almost certainly wrong.</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=User_talk:Ed&diff=2524User talk:Ed2007-04-29T21:05:53Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>Ed sure does like to talk! [[User:Arwong|Arwong]] 17:03, 29 April 2007 (EDT)<br />
<br />
It's a good thing I'm here to ensure proper [[history|historical]] accuracy. [[User:Ed|Ed]] 17:05, 29 April 2007 (EDT)</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Talk:Dean%27s_Vacation&diff=2522Talk:Dean's Vacation2007-04-29T21:04:54Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>Isn't DV a year, not a semester? And there is one additional case in addition to the square root club that will earn you DV, remember, the square root of zero is _not_ less than zero...<br />
<br />
I beleive it's a semester (which is why I said that). And being in the square root club is not determinative. The way it works these days, if memory serves, is that you get put on probation if your QPA goes below a 2.0. If it's below 2.0 again the next semester, you get the next (third in the sequence) semester off. I forget what happens after you come back. [[User:Ed|Ed]] 17:04, 29 April 2007 (EDT)</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Science_Hall&diff=2516Science Hall2007-04-29T20:04:38Z<p>Ed: Making wiki links for the new names</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Wean Hall]].<br />
<br />
This is a really, really old name. It predates [[KGB]].<br />
<br />
[[Category: Old Names for Stuff]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=UCC&diff=2515UCC2007-04-29T20:04:02Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>(That is, "University Computing Center".)<br />
<br />
[[Cyert Hall]].<br />
<br />
[[Category:Old Names for Stuff]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=New_Dorms&diff=2514New Dorms2007-04-29T20:03:29Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Resnik]] and [[West Wing]]. <br />
<br />
See, there was a time when they were the new dorms. Really. Brand new.<br />
<br />
[[Category: Old Names for Stuff]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Quality_point_average&diff=2508Quality point average2007-04-29T19:39:32Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>#REDIRECT [[QPA]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Square_root_club&diff=2507Square root club2007-04-29T19:38:55Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>A group whose members find that the square root of their [[quality point average|QPA]] exceeds the value of their actual QPA. Such members are typically rewarded with a [[Dean's Vacation]].</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=KGB_ID&diff=2506KGB ID2007-04-29T19:37:41Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>At some point during the 1989-90 school year, somebody had the idea that KGB should issue ID cards to its members. While basically a [["neat idea"]], this actually occurred. I believe that Kim Charyn wound up doing most of the work, and they came out quite nice, given the production capabilities available at the time.<br />
<br />
[[Image:KgbID-front-small.jpg|frame|center|The front of Eeyore's 1989-90 KGB ID card]]<br />
[[Image:KgbID-back-small.jpg|frame|center|The back used for all KGB ID cards issued during the 1989-90 school year]]<br />
<br />
KGB business cards were issued to officers in the [[2000 Officers|2000-2001]] fiscal year.<br />
<br />
A later [[Exec]] toyed with the idea of spending their vast [[budget]] on engraved, stainless steel ID cards for the [[members]]. The idea never came to fruition, and the money was instead on an unnecessary number of [[t-shirts]].</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Talk:I_wanna_edit_this_wiki&diff=2493Talk:I wanna edit this wiki2007-04-29T18:08:35Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>Your former Spandex Queen is not amused that her userid is being inappropriately capitalized. -so0s<br />
<br />
The elderly must always make way for the unstoppable wheels of Progress! --Ed</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=I_wanna_edit_this_wiki&diff=2492I wanna edit this wiki2007-04-29T18:07:46Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>Awesome. See those links in the upper-right? Have at it.<br />
<br />
Caveat: if you don't know any of these people, or really even what KGB is, that makes your editing this wiki ''even more awesome''.<br />
<br />
===Questions With Unhelpful Answers Listed Inside This Subsection===<br />
<br />
'''How awesome is it that I'm editing this wiki?'''<br />
Present, former, or prospective member of the organization... ''awesome''<br />
Present, former, or prospective Dean of Student Affairs... ''more awesome''<br />
Present, former, or prospective person on the internet... ''even more awesome''<br />
Present, former, or prospective associate of the bylaws committee... ''some or infrequent awesome''<br />
<br />
''I am a former entirety of the bylaws committee. Does that count? --Z''<br />
<br />
''Shouldn't that be on the discussion page? --ee0r''<br />
<br />
''We'll let it slide. --rjmccall''<br />
<br />
''Then that makes you younger KGB members 'slacker geeks' You should show some respect to Z already. Without him you would not have CtFwS. --so0s''<br />
<br />
''That's like saying that without Einstein we wouldn't have General Relativity. --Ed''<br />
<br />
==Section title==<br />
<br />
If you're going to create a vanity page about yourself, that's fine, but you should probably put it in the main namespace (e.g. [[vputin]]), not the user namespace (e.g. [[User:Vputin]]), just for general aesthetic reasons. Also, we're not going to do anything about the improper capitalization of your user id, so there.</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Bylaws_Committee&diff=2491Bylaws Committee2007-04-29T18:04:43Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>The '''Bylaws Committee''' was formed in... 1991? 1993? Maybe? (Is there any way to get at assocs.kgb archives?) Its purpose was to update the hastily-drawn-up original [[Bylaws]] without letting them turn into a complete football. <br />
<br />
(KGB has always had a certain tendency to... shall we say... use [[Robert's Rules of Order]] as a screwdriver rather than a benevolent iron-fist-velvet-glove of moderation. In other words, the [[President]] would try to keep the [[meetings|meeting]] in order by invoking the [[Bylaws]], and some joker would yell "Amendment!"... Okay, this wasn't a ''common'' occurrence, but it could have become so.)<br />
<br />
To solve this problem, [[Zarf]] was appointed to be the Bylaws Committee. Not the ''head'' of the Bylaws Committee, mind you, but the whole thing. Nobody else got to be on the Committee. If there was a problem with the [[Bylaws]], [[Zarf]] would listen carefully, go off in a corner, and then come back with a revised document. Or not. Most often, the job of the Bylaws Committee was to ignore suggestions that needed to be ignored.<br />
<br />
This form of the Bylaws Committee's job became even easier to do when [[Zarf]] left [[Pittsburgh|town]] in 1995. After a couple of years, it lapsed entirely, and the Bylaws Committee entered a new phase of its existence, about which I know nothing.<br />
<br />
The Bylaws Committee produced a flurry of amendments in the years 2002-2004. This review of the [[Bylaws]] was sparked by a set of [[Elections|election]] catastrophes which made the entire [[KGB|organization]] recoil in horror. A [[Bylaws commentary|commentary]] on the changes is forthcoming.<br />
<br />
[[Category:Committees]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Bylaws_Committee&diff=2490Bylaws Committee2007-04-29T18:04:23Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>The '''Bylaws Committee''' was formed in... 1991? 1993? Maybe? (Is there any way to get at assocs.kgb archives?) Its purpose was to update the hastily-drawn-up original [[Bylaws]] without letting them turn into a complete football. <br />
<br />
(KGB has always had a certain tendency to... shall we say... use [[Robert's Rules of Order]] as a screwdriver rather than a benevolent iron-fist-velvet-glove of moderation. In other words, the [[President]] would try to keep the [[meetings|meeting]] in order by invoking the [[Bylaws]], and some joker would yell "Amendment!"... Okay, this wasn't a ''common'' occurrence, but it could have become so.)<br />
<br />
To solve this problem, [[Zarf]] was appointed to be the Bylaws Committee. Not the ''head'' of the Bylaws Committee, mind you, but the whole thing. Nobody else got to be on the Committee. If there was a problem with the [[Bylaws]], [[Zarf]] would listen carefully, go off in a corner, and then come back with a revised document. Or not. Most often, the job of the Bylaws Committee was to ignore suggestions that needed to be ignored.<br />
<br />
This form of the Bylaws Committee's job became even easier to do when [[Zarf]] left [[[Pittsburgh|town]] in 1995. After a couple of years, it lapsed entirely, and the Bylaws Committee entered a new phase of its existence, about which I know nothing.<br />
<br />
The Bylaws Committee produced a flurry of amendments in the years 2002-2004. This review of the [[Bylaws]] was sparked by a set of [[Elections|election]] catastrophes which made the entire [[KGB|organization]] recoil in horror. A [[Bylaws commentary|commentary]] on the changes is forthcoming.<br />
<br />
[[Category:Committees]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=User:Tomstrong&diff=2448User:Tomstrong2007-04-29T01:42:28Z<p>Ed: Tom came from a time before they had redirects.</p>
<hr />
<div>#REDIRECT [[Tom Strong]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Ed&diff=2428Ed2007-04-28T01:40:38Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>Ed is just this guy, you know?<br />
<br />
{{s-start}}<br />
{{s-bef|before=[[Teki|Sean "Teki" Dobbs]]}}<br />
{{s-ttl|title=[[Corresponding Secretary]]<br />
|years=[[2002 Officers|2002-2003]]}}<br />
{{s-aft|after=[[Rebecca Nathan]]}}<br />
|-<br />
{{s-bef|before=[[Teki|Sean "Teki" Dobbs]]}}<br />
{{s-ttl|title=[[President]]<br />
|years=[[2003 Officers|2003-2004]]}}<br />
{{s-aft|after=[[pfriedma]]}}<br />
{{end}}<br />
<br />
[[category:Defectors]]<br />
[[category:Physicists]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Talk:President&diff=2427Talk:President2007-04-28T01:36:57Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>Ha ha ha all those duties and formalities only came into existence after Barry Brummitt took over the presidency. Things were total anarchy when Jon Bennett and then I was in charge (as it should have been).<br />
<br />
It would seem that *someone* didn't get the joke! [[User:Ed|Ed]] 21:36, 27 April 2007 (EDT)</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Pain&diff=2397Pain2007-04-27T03:44:36Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{disambig}}<br />
<br />
The following things may cause [[pain]]:<br />
<br />
[[Caulk]]<br />
<br />
[[Spackle]]<br />
<br />
[[Sea foam green]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Pain&diff=2396Pain2007-04-27T03:44:07Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{disambig}}<br />
<br />
The following things may cause pain:<br />
[[Caulk]]<br />
[[Spackle]]<br />
[[Sea foam green]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Sea_foam_green&diff=2395Sea foam green2007-04-27T03:42:12Z<p>Ed: </p>
<hr />
<div>'''Sea foam green''' is the enduring legacy of [[Ed|Ed Ryan's]] reign as [[booth chair]]. Long after [[caulk]] fades into time immemorial and [[Committee for In the Future, Everyone Will Have His or Her Own Jcreed|personal jcreeds]] are just a glimmer in [[Tom Strong|Tom Strong's]] eye, [[KGB|KGB's]] reserves of sea foam green [[paint]] will remain plentiful as ever. Once used to paint [[the Winter Palace]], the quantities of the substance purchased were so plentiful that no matter the valiant efforts of KGB [[comrade|comrades]], no one is able to consume the last of it.<br />
<br />
A little-known fact relating to the [[KGB]]'s sea foam green [[paint]] is that there are actually two slightly different shades stored in the [[Kage]]. There is a very good [[reason]] for this.<br />
<br />
== Applications ==<br />
* Painting [[The Fence|the fence]]<br />
* Painting your [[booth]]<br />
* Painting [[ASA]]'s booth<br />
* Painting [[NASA Wood|NASA's wood]]<br />
* Ensconcing the [[Treasurer]]<br />
* Suffering<br />
<br />
== Storage ==<br />
KGB's sea foam green supply is housed in the [[Kage]].<br />
<br />
== Safety ==<br />
Sea foam green may cause nausea, vomiting, fatigue, surjection, and pain. [[girls|Women]] and [[boys|men]] should not handle or make eye contact with sea foam green. If symptoms persist contact your doctor immediately.<br />
<br />
== See also ==<br />
* [[Booth]]<br />
* [[Communists from the future]]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Lore]]</div>Edhttps://wiki.cmukgb.org/index.php?title=Bylaws&diff=2372Bylaws2007-04-24T23:40:12Z<p>Ed: /* ARTICLE XIII. SUGGESTED ORDER OF BUSINESS */ finished with the bylaws wikilinks!</p>
<hr />
<div>{{true}}<br />
<br />
These are the official (but not the canonical) bylaws of the KGB organization. They are very important.<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE I. NAME AND OBJECTIVES=<br />
<br />
==Section 1. Name==<br />
The name of the organization shall be [[KGB]].<br />
<br />
==Section 2. Objectives==<br />
The objectives of the organization shall be:<br />
* to promote a spirit of fellowship among its [[members]].<br />
* to take an active and positive role in campus life.<br />
<br />
==Section 3. No Profit==<br />
The organization shall not be conducted or operated for profit and no part of any profits or remainder or residue from dues, donations, or other sources of income to the organization shall inure to the personal benefit of any member or individual.<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE II. DEFINITIONS=<br />
<br />
==Section 1. Standing Definitions==<br />
The terms defined as follows shall be considered standing definitions:<br />
<br />
===a. Majority===<br />
A majority shall be defined as a number greater then one-half (1/2), or fifty percent (50%), of the total.<br />
<br />
===b. Organization Quorum===<br />
A quorum of the organization is required in order to hold meetings as set forth in Article IV, Sections 1 and 2, and shall be either a majority of the voting members or seventy-five percent (75%) of the active members.<br />
<br />
===c. Board Quorum===<br />
A quorum of the Board is required in order to hold meetings set forth in Article IV, Sections 3, 4, and 5, shall be a majority of the Board members.<br />
<br />
===d. Written Petitions===<br />
All written petitions shall bear the signatures of either ten (10) members, or twenty percent (20%) of the voting membership, whichever is greater.<br />
<br />
===e. Member in Good Standing===<br />
A [[members|member]] is in good standing whose [[dues]] are current and whose other monetary obligations to the organization are fulfilled<br />
# within sixty (60) days of the obligation's creation, or<br />
# by the Annual Meeting (as defined in Art. VI, Sec. 2)<br />
whichever comes first unless such obligations are created within seven (7) days prior to the Annual Meeting, in which case clause 2 shall not apply.<br />
<br />
===f. Voting Member===<br />
A voting [[members|member]] is a member in good standing who has attended at least one (1) previous meeting.<br />
<br />
===g. Mailing===<br />
A mailing may be by physical or electronic means. Such mail must be individually addressed to each recipient, and may not only be to a single central bulletin board or other medium.<br />
<br />
===h. Active Member===<br />
An active [[members|member]] shall be a voting member who has attended at least one of the three (3) previous regular organization meetings as set forth in Article IV, Section 1 of these bylaws.<br />
<br />
===i. [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]]===<br />
The annual meeting is the meeting at which the officers shall be elected for the ensuing year, and at which other significant business is conducted in accordance with these bylaws, and is described in Article VI, Section 2 of these bylaws.<br />
<br />
===j. Random Process===<br />
A random process shall be any method of choice which assigns an equal probability of selection to each option.<br />
<br />
===k. [[Duck]]===<br />
Anything that looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.<br />
<br />
==Section 2. Provisional Definitions==<br />
All terms not previously defined as standing Definitions shall be defined according to the current edition of MERRIAM-WEBSTER'S COLLEGIATE DICTIONARY.<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE III. MEMBERSHIP=<br />
<br />
==Section 1. [[Members|Membership]]== <br />
Each individual voting member shall have one (1) vote. Each member shall receive one (1) copy of any notices, publications or other distributed documents of the organization.<br />
<br />
==Section 2. Becoming a Member==<br />
Any person whose [[dues]] have been paid to the Treasurer and whose body temperature is above fifty (50) degrees Fahrenheit shall be considered a member. However, the second requirement can be waived for the fee of ten (10) dollars.<br />
<br />
==Section 3. [[Dues]]==<br />
Membership dues for the next year shall be suggested annually by the [[Executive Board]] in March, and approved or changed by the voting membership at the April meeting. Dues shall be payable on or before the thirtieth day of September each year.<br />
<br />
==Section 4. Termination==<br />
Memberships may be terminated voluntarily:<br />
===a. Resignation===<br />
Any member may resign from the [[KGB|organization]] upon written notice to the [[Recording Secretary]].<br />
<br />
===b. Lapsed Memberships===<br />
A membership will be considered as lapsed and automatically terminated if such member's [[dues]] remain unpaid thirty (30) days after the deadline for payment of dues. However, the [[Executive Board]] may grant an additional thirty (30) days grace period to such delinquent [[members]] in exceptional cases. In no case may a person be entitled to vote at any<br />
[[KGB|organization]] [[meetings|meeting]] whose dues are unpaid as of the date of that meeting, or who are sixty (60) days in arrears of other monetary obligations to the organization.<br />
<br />
==Section 5. Refund of [[Dues]]==<br />
Membership [[dues]] will not be refunded either wholly or in part for any reason save extreme circumstances as determined by the membership.<br />
<br />
==Section 6. Benefits of Membership==<br />
All [[members]] in good standing shall receive all benefits of membership except as stipulated in the bylaws.<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE IV. [[Meetings|MEETINGS]] AND VOTING=<br />
<br />
==Section 1. Regular Organization [[Meetings]]==<br />
Regular [[meetings]] of the organization shall be held as directed by the Executive Board. Written notice of such meetings shall be mailed to the membership at least six (6) days prior to the date of the first such meeting of each semester by the Corresponding Secretary through the official organization newsletter or by other mailing, as well as upon any change in the announced time.<br />
<br />
==Section 2. Special Organization Meetings==<br />
Special [[meetings]] of the organization may be called by the [[President]], or by a majority vote of the members of the [[Executive Board]] who are present and voting at any regular or special meeting of the Board, or by the [[Recording Secretary]] upon receipt of a written petition. Written notice of such [[meetings]] shall be mailed by the [[Corresponding Secretary]] at least three (3) and not more than fifteen (15) days prior to the date of the meeting. Such notice shall state the purpose(s) of the meeting, and no other organization business may be transacted thereat.<br />
<br />
==Section 3. Regular [[Executive Board]] [[Meetings]]==<br />
Regular [[meetings]] of the [[Executive Board]] shall be held as directed by the Board, with a minimum of two (2) such meetings per semester. Notice of such [[meetings]] shall be mailed to the membership at least six (6) days prior to the date of the first such meeting of each semester by the [[Corresponding Secretary]] and upon any change in the announced time. Such [[meetings]] shall be closed to non-members of the organization unless the individual(s) should be specifically invited by the [[Executive Board|Board]], in which case the cause for the non-member presence shall be the first order of business, and after which the non-member may be asked to leave the meeting.<br />
<br />
==Section 4. Special [[Executive Board]] [[Meetings]]==<br />
Special [[meetings]] of the [[Executive Board]] may be called by the [[President]], or by the [[Recording Secretary]] upon the receipt of a written petition signed by at least three (3) members of the [[Executive Board|Board]]. Notice of such [[meetings]] shall be given to the membership at least five (5) days prior to the meeting. Such notice shall state the purpose of the meeting and no other business may be transacted thereat. In addition, all restrictions in Section 3 of this article shall apply to special meetings of the [[Executive Board|Board]].<br />
<br />
==Section 5. Emergency [[Executive Board|Board]] [[Meetings]]==<br />
Emergency meetings of the [[Executive Board|Board]] may be called by the [[President]] or [[1st VP|First Vice-President]] and may be held by phone. Notice of such [[meetings]] shall be given to the officers at least one (1) day prior to the meeting. Any majority decision reached will be entered into the minutes of the next regular [[Exec|Board]] meeting.<br />
<br />
==Section 6. Voting==<br />
Each voting [[members|member]] shall be entitled to one (1) vote at any regular meeting of the [[KGB|organization]] at which the member is present. Absentee voting will be permitted only for elections. Absentee ballots must be submitted to all the election proctors at<br />
least twelve (12) hours in advance of the commencement of the [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]], and may be submitted by electronic mail or in person.<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE V. [[:category:Officers|OFFICERS]] AND REPRESENTATIVES=<br />
<br />
==Section 1. [[Executive Board]]==<br />
The [[:category:officers|officers]] of the [[KGB|organization]] shall constitute the [[Exec|Executive board]]. The power necessary for the general management of the organization's affairs shall be entrusted to the Board, except as follows.<br />
<br />
===a. Supremacy of the Organization===<br />
The Board shall be subject to the orders of the organization, and none of its acts shall conflict with action taken by the organization, and the organization may countermand any decision of the board by a majority vote, thus opening up the question for consideration by the organization.<br />
<br />
===b. Distribution of Funds===<br />
The Board shall not distribute the organization's funds except as directed by the organization.<br />
<br />
==Section 2. [[:category:Officers|Officers]]==<br />
The organization officers, consisting of the following, shall serve in their respective capacities both with regard to the organization and its meetings and the [[Exec|Board]] and its [[meetings]].<br />
<br />
===a. [[President]]===<br />
The President shall preside at all [[meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]] and of the [[Exec|Board]], and shall have the duties and powers normally applicable to the office of President in addition to those provided for in these bylaws.<br />
<br />
===b. [[1st VP|First Vice-President]]===<br />
The First Vice-President shall be in charge of fellowship and shall actively recruit new [[members]].<br />
<br />
===c. [[2nd VP|Second Vice-President]]===<br />
The Second Vice-President shall be in charge of organizing fellowship activities.<br />
<br />
===d. [[Corresponding Secretary]]===<br />
The Corresponding Secretary shall have charge of all correspondence pertinent to the [[KGB|organization]] other than the correspondence reserved for the [[Recording Secretary]] and [[Treasurer]]. The Corresponding Secretary shall be the Editor of the organization [[Pravda?|Newsletter]].<br />
<br />
===e. [[Recording Secretary]]===<br />
The Recording Secretary shall keep a record of all [[meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]] and of the [[Exec|Board]] and of all matters of which a record shall be ordered by the organization. The Recording Secretary shall keep a roll of the [[members]] of the organization with applicable information, including attendance at meetings of the general body; furthermore, the Recording Secretary shall carry out such other duties as are prescribed in these bylaws, and shall have the duties and powers normally applicable to the office of Secretary, except for those duties and powers assigned to another officer by these bylaws. In the absence of the Recording Secretary, the duties and powers thereof shall be executed by the Corresponding Secretary, or in the absence thereof, the most senior officer present not presiding over the meeting.<br />
<br />
===f. [[Treasurer]]===<br />
The Treasurer shall collect and receive all [[Treasury|moneys]] due or belonging to the organization, and shall deposit the same in a bank satisfactory to the [[Exec|Board]], in the name of the [[KGB|organization]]. The Treasurer's books shall be open at all times to the inspection of the Board, and the Treasurer shall report to the Board and the general [[members|membership]] at every meeting the condition of the organization's finances. At the [[annual meeting]], the Treasurer shall render an account of all moneys received and expended during the previous fiscal year. During the month of September the Treasurer shall mail to each member a statement of [[dues]] for the ensuing year. The Treasurer shall disperse funds as directed by the Executive Board. The Treasurer shall also be responsible for filing all financial forms applicable to the organization. In the absence of the Treasurer, the [[Recording Secretary]] shall record allocations made or debts incurred by or to the organization; however, the Recording Secretary shall not disburse or collect moneys, unless authorized so to do by the Board.<br />
<br />
===g. [[Sergeant at Arms|Sergeant-at-Arms]]===<br />
The Sergeant at Arms shall assist in preserving order as the chair may direct, and other duties as set forth in the standing rules of order.<br />
<br />
==Section 3. [[:category:officers|Officer]] Requirements==<br />
All Officers of the [[KGB|organization]] shall be voting [[members]] who are [[Activities fee|Activities Fee]]-paying students.<br />
<br />
==Section 4. Vacancies==<br />
Any vacancy of an [[:category:Officers|officer]] position occurring on the [[Exec|Board]] during the year shall be filled for the unexpired term of office by a majority vote of all the remaining members of the Board by the second regular [[meetings|meeting]] of the board following the creation of such vacancy.<br />
<br />
==Section 5. Recall of [[:category:Officers|Officers]]==<br />
Any officer may be recalled for misconduct or dereliction of duty. A written petition, stating the reason(s) for recall, shall be filed with the [[Exec|Board]]. Written notice of such a petition shall be mailed to the membership. At the next regular [[meetings|meeting]] at least six (6) days after the mailing, a hearing on the matter will be held and a two-thirds (2/3) vote will be required to sustain the recall.<br />
<br />
==Section 6. Seniority==<br />
Seniority of offices is: [[President]], [[1st VP|First Vice-President]], [[2nd VP|Second Vice-President]], [[Corresponding Secretary]],<br />
[[Recording Secretary]], [[Treasurer]], and [[Sergeant at Arms|Sergeant-at-Arms]].<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE VI. [[KGB|ORGANIZATION]] YEAR, [[Annual meeting|ANNUAL MEETING]], [[Elections|ELECTIONS]]=<br />
<br />
==Section 1. [[KGB|Organization]] Year==<br />
The organization's fiscal year shall begin on the first day of September and end on the thirty-first day of August. The organization's official year shall begin immediately at the conclusion of the [[elections|election]] at the [[annual meeting]] and shall continue<br />
through the election at the next annual meeting.<br />
<br />
==Section 2. [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]]==<br />
No later than the last meeting in the month of December the [[Exec|board]] shall set the date for the Annual Meeting. The annual meeting shall be held in the month of April of each year. At the Annual Meeting the Officers for the ensuing year shall be elected by<br />
secret, written ballot from among those nominated in accordance with Section 4 of this article. They shall take office immediately upon the conclusion of the election and each retiring [[:category:Officers|officer]] shall relinquish all properties and records relating to that office within fifteen (15) days after the [[elections|election]].<br />
<br />
==Section 3. [[Elections]]==<br />
The color of elections shall be [[purple]].<br />
<br />
===a. Proctors===<br />
For the duration of the [[elections]] at the [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]], a set of at least three proctors shall preside and keep order at the meeting. Ballots shall be counted by at least two proctors. Proctors shall be ineligible to run in that year's elections. Proctors shall be voting members of the organization except as discussed in section VI.3.b.<br />
<br />
===b. Normal Proctor Selection===<br />
At least two weeks prior to the [[Annual meeting|Annual Meeting]], a slate of at least three consenting [[members]] shall be nominated as proctors at a meeting of the [[Exec|Board]]. A member shall not be nominated if any member of the Board objects. At any meeting of the general body thereafter prior to the Annual Meeting, the slate may be modified or approved by a two-thirds (2/3) vote. At any such time, if it has not yet approved a slate of proctors, the organization may elect to request proctors from an external source with a two-thirds (2/3) vote.<br />
<br />
===c. Emergency Proctor Selection===<br />
If, at the Annual Meeting, less than three approved proctors are in attendance, the [[members|general body]] shall again have the opportunity to modify and approve the slate of proctors. If no proctors have yet been approved, after at least two failed votes to approve the current slate of proctors the chair may declare an impasse. In such an impasse, five present members not presently nominated for office shall be selected as proctors by random process; or, if five such members cannot be found, five members from the total attendance shall be so selected, but shall remain eligible for election.<br />
<br />
===d. [[Elections|Election]] Procedure===<br />
The election of each [[Officers|officer]] shall be concluded before the election of the next begins, and these elections shall be held in order of the chain of command. Write-in ballots or other invalid ballots shall be considered as abstentions. The candidate receiving a majority of the votes cast for each office shall be declared elected. In the case of an all-way tie, an additional round shall be run. Should the tie repeat, the winner shall be decided by the proctors of the election by random process. Otherwise, candidates shall be eliminated by the following method:<br />
<br />
# Sort candidates into tiers of people with the same number of votes. <br />
# Starting with the lowest ranking tier, remove tiers from the running in increasing order of rank until removing another would bring the total number of votes removed above 1/3. If there are no tiers with a number of votes below 1/3, remove the lowest ranking tier. <br />
# If more than one candidate remains, run another round.<br />
<br />
The winner shall be announced by the election proctors. Vote totals shall not be announced. The ballots shall be destroyed upon completion of the elections.<br />
<br />
==Section 4. Nominations==<br />
No person may be a candidate in an [[KGB|organization]] [[elections|election]] who has not been nominated or who is not a voting organization [[members|member]] in good standing. During the last quarter of the official year the Executive Board shall select a [[NomCom|Nominating Committee]] consisting of four (4) members willing to so serve, not more than one (1) of whom shall be a member of the [[Exec|Board]]. The [[Recording Secretary]] shall immediately notify the committee members of their selection. The Board shall name a Chairperson for the committee and it shall be this person's duty to call a committee meeting which shall be held on or before March 1. Once the first meeting has been held, the membership of this committee cannot be altered by the board. No person who has served on the Nominating Committee will be eligible to run in that year's elections. <br />
<br />
===a. Duties of the Nominating Committee===<br />
The committee shall nominate at least one (1) candidate for each office, and after securing the consent of each person so nominated, shall immediately report their nominations to both the [[RecSec|Recording]] and [[CorSec|Corresponding]] Secretaries in writing.<br />
<br />
===b. Membership Notification of the Report of the Nominating Committee===<br />
Upon receipt of the [[NomCom|Nominating Committee]]'s report, the [[Corresponding Secretary]] shall on or before April 1, notify each member in writing of the candidates so nominated. <br />
<br />
===c. Ad hoc Nominations===<br />
Additional nominations may be made at any meeting after the report of the nominating committee and before the [[annual meeting]] by any member in attendance provided that the person so nominated does not decline when his or her name is proposed, and provided further that if the proposed candidate is not in attendance at this meeting, the proposer shall present to the Recording Secretary a written statement of the candidate's willingness to be so nominated. A voting member may be nominated and run for more than one (1) office, but shall only be allowed to hold one (1) office.<br />
<br />
===d. Membership Notification of the Final List of Nominees===<br />
Upon finalization of the nominations and at least three days before the annual meeting, the [[Corresponding Secretary]] shall notify each member in writing of the list of candidates. <br />
<br />
===e. Exclusion of Other Nominations===<br />
Nominations cannot be made at the [[annual meeting]] or in any manner other than as provided for in this section.<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE VII - [[COMMITTEES]]=<br />
<br />
==Section 1. Ordinary [[Committees]]==<br />
The Board may each year appoint standing ordinary committees to advance the work of the organization. Special ordinary committees may also be appointed by the Board to aid it on particular projects. Such committees shall always be subject to the final authority of the Board.<br />
<br />
==Section 2. Revision of Ordinary [[Committees]]==<br />
Any ordinary committee appointment may be terminated by the Board upon written notice to the appointee, and the Board may appoint successors to those persons whose services have been terminated.<br />
<br />
==Section 3. Extraordinary [[Committees]]==<br />
The organization may appoint extraordinary committees to advance the work of the organization. Each such committee has an owner, who must be a member in good standing of the organization. The owner appoints and replaces the chair of the committee as deemed<br />
appropriate.<br />
<br />
==Section 4. Ownership of Extraordinary [[Committees]]==<br />
The owner of an extraordinary committee is determined by auction, the proceeds of which are payable to the organization. In the event of a vacancy in ownership of an extraordinary committee, the organization may fill the vacancy by auction.<br />
<br />
==Section 5. Voluntary Transfer of Ownership of Extraordinary [[Committees]]==<br />
The owner of an extraordinary committee may transfer the ownership of the committee to another member in good standing by notifying the Recording Secretary.<br />
<br />
==Section 6. Records of [[Committees]]==<br />
The [[Recording Secretary]] shall maintain a record of the membership of all ordinary committees and of the ownership of all<br />
extraordinary committees.<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE VIII. [[Disciplinary action|REPRIMAND, SUSPENSION, AND EXPULSION]]=<br />
<br />
==Section 1. Responsibility==<br />
Any member of the organization shall be held accountable for any conduct considered injurious to the organization or its purposes and objectives. The gravity of such conduct shall first be considered at a hearing before the [[Executive Board]]. Considering said charges of conduct, the Board may, at its discretion, enforce any of the following punitive actions:<br />
<br />
===a. Reprimand===<br />
The [[Exec|Board]] may reprimand the [[members|member]] for minor offenses, which can include, but shall not be limited to, written reprimand, verbal warning, restitution, or organization service.<br />
<br />
===b. Suspension===<br />
For offenses of a more serious nature, the [[Exec|Board]] may suspend membership privileges of the [[members|member]] for any length of time, up to the next [[Annual Meeting]] of the organization.<br />
<br />
===c. Expulsion===<br />
Considering the most heinous of offenses, the [[Exec|Board]] may propose to the [[KGB|organization]] [[members|membership]] expulsion of the member. The [[KGB|organization]] shall then vote at the next [[Meetings|Regular Meeting]] of the [[KGB|organization]], and the proposal for expulsion shall require a two-thirds (2/3) [[voting|vote]] for approval.<br />
<br />
==Section 2. Notice of charges==<br />
Any [[members|member]] so charged shall be given written notice of said hearing at least ten (10) days prior to that hearing, and such [[members|member]] shall have the right to be present at said hearing for the purposes of defense.<br />
<br />
==Section 3. Appeal of reprimand or suspension==<br />
Any [[members|member]] affected by Section 1, Parts (a) and (b), of this Article, shall have thirty (30) days to appeal said proceedings. Written notice of appeal shall be presented to the [[Recording Secretary]]. The [[Exec|Board]] shall then, in turn, present the matter to the [[voting]] [[members|membership]] at the next Regular organization [[meetings|meeting]]. An affirmative two-thirds (2/3) [[voting|vote]] shall be required to sustain the actions of the [[Exec|Board]].<br />
<br />
==Section 4. Reinstatement==<br />
Any person whose membership is terminated according to Section 1 of this article must present his or her application for reinstatement to the [[Executive Board]] for approval prior to being [[voting|voted]] upon by the general membership.<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE IX. PARLIAMENTARY AUTHORITY=<br />
<br />
The rules contained in the current edition of [[Robert's Rules of Order|ROBERT'S RULES OF ORDER NEWLY REVISED]] shall govern the [[KGB|organization]] in all cases to which they are applicable and in which they are not inconsistent with these [[Bylaws]] and any special rules of order the [[KGB|organization]] may adopt.<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE X. AMENDMENTS=<br />
<br />
==Section 1. Proposal of Amendments==<br />
Amendments to these [[bylaws]] may be proposed by the [[Executive Board]] or by written petition addressed to the [[Recording Secretary]]. Amendments proposed by such petition shall be promptly considered by the [[Exec|Board]] and must be submitted to the [[members]] with the recommendations of the [[Exec|Board]] by the [[Recording Secretary]] for a [[voting|vote]] within thirty (30) days of the date when the petition was received by the [[Recording Secretary]].<br />
<br />
==Section 2. Approval of Amendments==<br />
These bylaws may be amended by a two-thirds (2/3) [[voting|vote]] at any regular or special [[meetings|meeting]] called for the purpose, provided the proposed amendments have been included in the notice of the meeting and mailed to each [[members|member]] at least six (6) days prior to the date of the meeting.<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE XI. DONATIONS=<br />
<br />
The [[KGB|organization]] may accept donations in the form of money, equipment or other property to be used for the exclusive benefit of the [[members|membership]], provided however, that all contributions and donations to the organization shall be subject to approval by the [[Exec|Board]].<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE XII. DISSOLUTION=<br />
<br />
The organization may be dissolved at any time by the written consent of not less than two-thirds (2/3) of the [[voting]] [[members]] in good standing. In the event of the dissolution of the [[KGB|organization]], whether voluntary or involuntary or by operation of law, none of the property of the organization nor any proceeds thereof nor any assets of the [[KGB|organization]] shall be distributed to any [[members]] of the [[KGB|organization]]. After payment of the debts of the [[KGB|organization]], its property and assets shall be given to a similar organization or sold and the money donated to a charitable organization selected by the [[Executive Board]].<br />
<br />
=ARTICLE XIII. SUGGESTED ORDER OF BUSINESS=<br />
<br />
==Section 1. [[KGB|Organization]] [[meetings]]==<br />
At [[meetings]] of the [[KGB|organization]], the order of business, so far as the character and nature of the meeting may permit, shall be as follows:<br />
<br />
# Reading and correction of the [[minutes]] of the last regular [[KGB|organization]] [[meetings|meeting]] and any special [[meetings]] or [[Exec|Board]] meetings held in the interim<br />
# Reports of [[officers]]<br />
# Reports of [[committees]]<br />
# [[Old business]]<br />
# New business<br />
# [[Elections]] (at [[annual meeting]])<br />
# Actual Real Relevant Announcements Pertaining to the Business of KGB as an Organization.<br />
# [[Schmucks|Open floor]]<br />
<br />
==Section 2. [[Exec|Board]] [[meetings]]==<br />
At [[meetings]] of the [[Exec|Board]], the order of business, unless otherwise directed by majority [[voting|vote]] of those present, shall be as follows:<br />
<br />
# Reading and correction of the [[minutes]] of the last regular [[Exec|Board]] [[meetings|meeting]] and any special [[meetings]] or [[KGB|organization]] [[meetings]] held in the interim<br />
# Reports of [[officers]]<br />
# Reports of [[committees]]<br />
# [[Old business]]<br />
# New business</div>Ed