Difference between revisions of "Minutes20150831"

Revision as of 16:30, 31 August 2015

officer reports

   mike
       had a summer
       taught some children
       did some other stuff
       i missed this report
   skye
       had a summer
       new people
           omar, biomed & chem engineering, from ny, but from queens
           maddie, art, ohio, 
           sin xiu?, (X), singapor, has black hair, major
           nathan, virginia, meche, likes sleeping
           shivo??, forgot a belt, masters engineering, place?
           nathan, scs, massachusetts, monolingual english speaker (…modern languages)
           nika, archie, from nyc, has a fave pizza place
       we have an event!
           potluck in the park
           5:15, friday, black chairs
               we go to farpark
           old people bring food! fill out the spreadsheet
           young people we'll feed you
   dillon (dylan)
       had a summer
       hung around cmu
       took summer classes
       hung out
   erin
       had a summer
       worked hereish
       occassionally drove to chicago
       survived capstone election day!
       SUBMIT TO PRAVDA
   zora
       had a summer
       got a job
           hated the job
       got a different job
           loved the job
       started an anthology!
       is already exhausted
   joe
       had a summer
       did lots of things with roombas
           including stomping on them
       pun!
           a hotel had a lot of ghosts so they got an Inn-specter!
   murphy
       had a summer
       began with literally being iron man
       WAS A VERY ACTIVE PERSON IN SF
           no trees though

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   ad hoc tales from sf
       you know you got to the place with hippies when they ALL OFFER YOU ACID
   
   ad hoc tales from sf
       it is literally hell at 88f
   
   constitutional revisionism
       laughs maniacally
       augh
   
   adhoc tales from sf
       there's a place where you can order not drinks but abstract concepts
   
   adhoc tales from pgh
       affordable rent
   
   catspiracies theory
       we're in
   
   adhoc tails from pgh
       anthrocon
   
   constitutional revisionism committee
       wouldn't it be nice if we needed >3 people at the annual meeting?
   
   marlena tests the president
       (murphy is very dead)
   
   CHALLENGE
   
   storytelling committee
       (this is just a trick to get marlena in the front of the room)
       so this summer, marlena was working on VIRTUAL REALITY
           people apparently think it will make dollars this time
       there are /challenges/ associated with it
       some highlights from marlena's job
           the nunchuck controllers are VERY CONVINCING
               people drop them a lot. the tables are not real. don't fall through the table.
           ceiling fans. they are dangerous.
               valve had a controller. the only one prototype. people bopped the ceiling fan...and the controller exploded.
           PEOPLE THREW THE VIRTUAL KITTENS
               oh god they splatted the kittens
           you can also move the PLAYER around really fast. including way up high
               involuntary skydiving

OLD BUSINESS

   the thing!
       school is not ed's fault this week

NEW BUSINESS

   committee for unintent skydiving: wheeeeeeee, splat.
       change "wheeeeeee" to "screaming"
       is this when you push skye off the diving board
       change skydiving to "skye-diving"
       change purpose to...something about gravity.
   PASSES
   $3 to Espy, Omar, frieder, marlena, and skye will chair
   
   the cabinet: to annoy and legislate the shadow corp, the commune, and (coming soon) the syndicate
       we should prob create a system of checks
       change purpose to "storing small objects"
           PASSES
       change purpose to "lobbying small objects"
           FAILS
       prepend original purpose
           PASSES
   PASSES
   $10 to Ed. He will chair.
   
   kitten tennis committee: aw....NYOOM
       CAN ERIN TAKE BACK HER SECOND
       append "splat." to purpose
           PASSES
       motion to remove gravity
           FAILS
       change purpose to "kittens playing tennis"
           FAILS
       marlena solved this by making them tumble and get dizzy instead of splatting
       skyes 112 project was "grand theft buggy"
           yeah that's all we need. that's all we need to know.
           cars exploded due to bad programming
   PASSES
   $3 to Ed, disbanded
   
   KGBspan: better Cspan
       motion to remove gravity
           we are now in freefall
       floor is lava committee reports
           there's no gravity...EVERYTHING IS LAVA
       motion to re-add gravity
           SPLAT
   PASSED by abstention
   $1 to Skye. Skye will chair
   
   the roomba army: beep beep motherfuckers
       append "splat" to purpose
           PASSES
       ducttaping steak knives to roombas. not a good idea. don't do it
           what if we attach balloons to the back of them too
       replace "beep beep" with "beep beep waaaaaaaah" in purpose
           PASSES
       so in dc there are all these roombas with security clearences
           they leave the pentagon pretty often
           the way they have these clearences is that they say a three-sentence phrase
           so you have roombas saying security clearence phrases to trees
       THE ORIGINAL NAME FOR THE ROOMBA WAS CYBERSUCK
   PASSES
   $1 to Nick, Nick and all others with roombas will chair
   
   pillowfight committee: hard or soft? there is a correct answer here, mike
       hey guys, you know what the best part of inside jokes is? yeah, that
       append splat
           PASSES
       motion to replace pillows with steak knives
           hard or soft
           (PASSES)
       we're fighting over hard or soft knives with pillows
       what if we bring guns to this committee
           something something gun to a knifefight, you'll probably win
   PASSES
   $3 to Maddie, Maddie will chair.
   
   jokes-to-oreo machine: step 1: jokes. step 2: ????. step 3: oreos
       apple flavored oreos.
       change "???" to "splat"
       kraft singles flavored oreos.
       change "splat" to "bugmars"
       "we like bad jokes, not bad oreos"
   PASSES
   $1 to Erin. Anyone who either eats oreos or turns jokes into them will chair
   
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the events
       PASSES
   
   committee to remind exec in one year about something that is completely false: yeah p much that
       tabled
   
   exec get it apart committee: to get exec not to do whatever the exec get it together committee wants it to do
       append ed to purpose
           PASSES
       change purpose to "keep members of exec as far apart as possible"
       append splat to murphy
           nope
       committee to assassinate the pres looks at this favorably
           MURPHY RETURNS
   FAILS
   
   committee to add more space to rooms by adding more stuff: computer club's machine room
       you can request more furniture for your cmu apartment BUT NOT REQUEST THAT IT BE REMOVED
       you can straight steal shit. thanks ed.
       can also just get a bunch of grills in donner ditch
           we ended up with 4 once
   PASSES
   $1 to murphy. The maintainance people will chair.
   
   clarification of the word splat: we've been using it a lot. it means: a group of migrating lemmings, a common explative among octopi, a dessert commonly served while skydiving.
   PASSES
   $2 to Marlena. Marlena and anyone else who can come up with meanings for splat.
   
   constitutional revisionism: to fix rahter alarming bugs in the constitution
       are they spiders
           some are centipedes
       where is the constitution
           the wiki, the bridge, our website
       something something trump
       a group of people trying to revise the const are called a "splat"
       change purpose to "to open a giant can of worms"
           FAILS but it was good
   PASSES
   $13 to Ed. Ed will chair.
   

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       potluck in the park
       black chairs at 5:15
           we're going to flagstaff
       old people bring food. new people eat food
           sign up to bring food: cmukgb.org/food
       if pittsburgh happens (it rains) we'll be in PHA18*
   
   exec meetings!
       we meet at wednesdays at 7:30 pm! We do not know where, our room is broken.
       
   Dinner!
       we eat at resnik and eat outside when it's nice!
   
   pay your dues!
       there are perks! they involve votings and shirts
   

SCHMUCKS

   frisbees at 4:30 on the cut on weds and fridays!
   
   please sign ed's constitutional stuff!
   
   computer club's talk series is starting again on wednesday!
   
   kgb rifle association is having a nerf war on the cut next monday at 2!
       they have an arsenal
       message skye
   
   caaaaaaaaaaaats
   

we are now in purple