Difference between revisions of "Minutes20150921"

Revision as of 16:33, 21 September 2015

EXEC REPORTS

   Mike
       had a weekend
       involved voluntarily getting locked in the room and then having to solve puzzles to get out
       indoctrinated into another xander cult?
       
   Skye
       had a weekend
       not as funny as her day
       people in the class got to talk about their new form of government
       new people
           victor, cs, maryland, freshman
       
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       started with the event! fun! games!
       saturday! ITR! Fun!
       got 4 hours of sleep, woke up for 1st buggy rolls. went better than expected.
       EVENT
           GBGC
           porter A18* 7pm friday
           bring your board games!
               please
   
   erin
       had a weekend
       long and busy
       event! orientation! ITR! brunch!
           many of these things were a jolly good time
       SUBMIT TO PRAVDA
           by emailing eeb@andrew
           or corsec@cmukgb.org
   
   zora
       had a weekend
       
   joe
       had a weekend
       big and complicated and SECRET
       did not sleep last night
       did this morning
       also a pun
   
   murphy
       had a weekend
       event! itr! perogis!
           someone may have gotten food poisoning

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   thing on a string in conj with thing committee in conj with thingless:
       thing is on a necklace! it's
   
   swear of the week:
       FARBERNUGEN
           ...it means six?
           no it means the enjoyment derived from driving your automobile
   
   silly freshmen
       why that word order for painting the fence
       
   poss misap existing
       success
   
   not misap existing committee
       failure
       it'll be explained
   
   tim has mike's sweatshirt string?
   
   shit jokes
       which are the smartest letters?
           the wise
   
   ad hoc my arm just feels most comfortable like this
       yep
   
   roomba army
       error! please move the roomba, then restart
   
   ad hoc committee to not pay the KGB:
       if you give joe a check in the shape of a ring, will he also never cash it?
       joe is silent

OLD BUSINESS

   the thing!
       uh. something isn't nika's fault this week

NEW BUSINESS

   robot liberation: vincent is free! and the rest will be soon, too!
       roomba army approves
       they're going to recapture him
       apparently it's INCREDIBLY hard to implement the three laws of robotics
       we need to rescue herb from the fishbowl
       if you liberate the robots, they're just gonna die
   PASSES
   $1 to Skye, skye will chair

   witchcraft and hellfire pyramid scheme: xander told marlena that if she recruited 6 new people to his cult she would be promoted
       it's a good idea
       john oliver created a televangelist church
           "please, we really don't want your seed"
           people sent him seeds
           "no, really, please"
           then they sent him sperm
           he shut down the church
           (they're donating the money)
   FAILED
   
   committee to teach old people how to use computers: yeah pretyt much that
       erin's advisor doesn't know how to attach more than one file to an eamil
       dylan's grandma took PHOTOS OF PICTURES ON HER COMPUTER SCREEN and uploaded to facebook
       harry's mom called him down from his room to help her close windows
           she's owned a mac for years
       "what the fuck do you do, siri?"
       IMSENDINGYOUTHISEMAILSTOP
       ipads make great paperweights
   PASSES
   $1 to erin, anyone who has successfully taught an old person how to use an electronic devicce
   
   you have to do this assignment in pencil: manic sharpening
       you know, mechanical pencils are just great
           not for art!!
       HANDWRITTEN CLASSES WITH DUE DATES AT 9AM
       erin takes her math tests in pen
       mike once took a test in red ink
           and forgot. and freaked out.
       when skye took calc 2, the profs said they would give extra points to people who did their tests in sharpie
   PASSES
   $2 to Joe, everyone with horrific assignment reqs that have no impact on the assignment will chair
   
   my arm also feels very comfortable like this and that's all: eventually mike won't know who to call on
       this shoulder would like to say fuck you to your shoulder
       brian
           nope
       jeffrey
           nope
       frieder
           nope
       there was a gym class in high school where your team had to make animal noises to find each other
           whale noises you win
       tim
           nope
   PASSES
   $1 to frieder, brian and frieder will chair

EXEC REPORTS

   skye
       new people
           chris, ece, philly, five fingers on right hand

NEW BUSINESS

   you have to pay attention in meetings: TRUE FEAR
       and that's how we lost the water buffalo
       murphy was also surprised
           he was having a conversation with frieder between frieder's computer and murphy's watch
           from four feet away
       out of order committee: very happy
   PASSES
   $1 to frieder, frieder will chair
   
   exec get it together: we have old business

OLD BUSINESS

   secret soviet spies committee
       motion to table this committee for one hour
       PASSES

NEW BUSINESS

   voice actor zoo: to put nick, jane, and jeff in their own pen where they can make incredibly unsettling animal noises
       motion to add espy and nika as per ITR
           only if they're ok with it
       yeah we're next to a preschool
   PASSES
   $1 to joe, the KGB, but only when they're in cages will chair
   
   crosshatching committee: one, two, three, FUCK
       it's a good idea
   PASSES
   $1 to murphy, six people will chair: murphy erin frieder joe mike dammit (chris)
   
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the event
       PASSES
   
   guess what day it is: to remind all mikes in the vicinity what day it is
       eight days a week
       how is it monday
       hey erin, hey erin, guess what FUCKING day it is
       just another manic monday
           WOO
   PASSES
   $1 to Erin, erin and ed and anyone else who really likes that commercial will chair
   
   interactive alarm: murphy's alarm participated in his dream for a 20 minutes
       once frieder had a dream that his alarm was a kgb meeting
           committees were just beeping
       chris's roommate's alarm is the john cena song
       false awakenings are terrifying
   PASSES
   $1 to murphy, John Cena will chair
   
   our lord and savior windows 95: it is never safe to shut down your computer
       someone put windows 10 on their windows XP machine
       without windows 95, what would the old lab machines run
       joes server has been up for 37 days
       WINDOWS IS REAL DUMB
           looked for "windows 9" instead of "windows 98" etc
       bye frieder
       don't try to install a windows 95 thing on a later version of windows
           everything will be terrible
   PASSES
   $3 to Kelly, Windows 95 will chair
   
   inevigable mergers: goober
       motion to create this shirt
           created!
           they're on redbubble
               tinyurl.com/getgoober
       joe's a goofy goober yeah
       goober will use amazon drones
       will it compete with the shadow corporation?
           well, you see...it's very hard for a subsidiary to commit
       request report from the syndicate
           they syndicate is very excited to steal shit
   PASSES
   $1 to skye, the syndicate will chair
   
   out of order in conj with the floor is lava:
       the floor is lava
       not out of order????
   
   bouncing: can't stop bouncing
       caffeine
       motion to add caffeine to the committee:
           only if it's injected
           so mooved
       you gotta work yourself up
           start by drinking one coffee a day for a week
           then the next week you drink FIVE and have a shot of espresso in the evening
       storytime
           ohhhhh the orientation seminars
           there was one about drugs, alcohol, and sex
               (what's sex?)
           they were talking about amnesty
               "what if i'm off campus and under the influence of coffee"
               bud
       according to line six of the housing contract, you're not allowed to have controlled substances in your dorm room
           that means you aren't allowed to have meds in your dorm room
       the only place you're prohibited to have keys that aren't yours is in the housing contract
           if you live off campus you can have ALL THE KEYS
   PASSES
   $2 to Joe, trampolines will chair
   
   campus laws loopholes: we are in no way trying to exploit the ambiguities presented in campus laws
       you can request new furniture but not have it removed
       the weapons policy has an interesting loophole regarding knives and swords
           if there's a multitool longer than a knife, you can have that knife
       name changed to "influencing the freshmen to do irresponsible things"
       loopholes like this don't exist, and if they did, we'd be the last to know
       fun story
           at 2am, ab tech folks were at steak and shake
           the head decided to reassemble his folding knife at a steak and shake
               it was sketch, so he would hid it whenever the waitress came over
           also, kesden was in the corner. they didn't know he was there.
   PASSES
   $3 to Maddie, maddie will chair
   this committee is not endorsed by the KGB as an organization
       

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       get board get carded!
       friday, A18*, 7pm
       bring your board games! it's fun!
       everybody bring all your games!
       you can request games by posting!
   
   kgb rifle association--HvZ!
       first week of october!
       talk to skye
       they'll be stabling at some point
       
   ctfws rules committee!
       we actually do stuff
       we're gonna be meeting to discuss, revise, find loopholes in, etc the ctfws rules
       talk to mike or dillon if you're interested!
   
   we get dinner after meetings!
       resnik!
   
   exec meetings
       meet weds, 7:30, UC 319
   
   CTFWS DATE
       friday, november 13 in probably dh 2315
       
   dues
       they expire on 9/30!
       $15/semester, $20/year

SCHMUCKS

   brunch!
       sunday morning, in schatz! it's fun! the food's pretty good!
       had almost maximum dillon/dylan capacity
   
   committee for inevitable mergers
       selling tshirts!
       tinyurl.com/getgoober
       
   nick's selling baked goods!
       go talk to them!

we are in purple