Minutes20090824

Officer Reports

Glisson

We are the KGB. Stuff. Had a summer.

Motion to salute the President!

Alan

Had a summer. Low awesomeness, except for camp. NEW PEOPLE!!!!

New People

Brian, Logic & Computation, prefers when handouts are freshly printed

Chris, NJ, shoe size 10

Jonathan, CS, something College, didn't bring ice cream

Andrew, CS, Austin, TX, paying attention to fan

Paul, CS, Baltimore, like walking

CS, Naomi, New York, that was in the wrong order

David, ECE, Montana,

Thomas, CS, northern NJ, once had a stamp collection but it was boring

Maija, CS, Harvard, MA, hand not mauled by bears,

Katy, CS, ...

Arsenij ...

David, Silver Spring, has friends

Rebecca, CS, lying about having never been to a meeting before

[interrupted for ttuttle being given a jello dick]

Joe, NJ, CS, first time seen a guy eat a dick

Costas, MA, ECE, he doesn't know

Arjuna, Harvard MA, ECE, likes Ender's Game

Matt, NJ, ECE, play the trombone. too interesting; don't know how to play the tuba

Tim, CS, was (not?) half of a good time for KGB exec to meet

Alex, CS, here, will try to double major in ECE

Ethan, MD, last place team in scav hunt

Richard

Event.

Emily

No job. Went to CA for Latin convention. There's a Pravda?.

Josiah

Had a summer. Had a job due to miraculous good fortune.

Labbott

Had a summer. Worked at IBM. Built a cardboard mainframe.

Derek

Had a summer. Worked overtime. They had to pay him. Will be dying hair in the near future. Keep coming to KGB.

Committees

Pop Occultism Committee

Needs fortunes.

Pop Occultism Committee

Make your life an exclamation, not an explanation. s/interjections/shit/ Listen not to vain words of empty tongue. A distant relative will phone you soon. Sean's dad is a dick. A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist. Beauty is in the mirror you look in every day. enjoy your being.

The Technically Ad-Hoc Giant Red Rubber Ball Committee

Will be making an appearance on Friday.

Gratuitous Obscenity Committee

The Technically Ad-Hoc Giant Red Rubber Ball Committee would go well with jello penis cake.

Gunpowder Block Committee

An excellent way to get rid of gunpowder and ammo is to fire.

Drew Besse Sorta Sounds Like JFK Committee

Sad, does not give reports. Survived his term.

Committee to Groan at Ben Wolf's Jokes

Puns bswolf had not heard before from Scavenger Hunt. Not recording for posterity's sake. That part about not recording any was a lie: Have you heard about the Corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.

The Twitter Committee

Would lke to thank labbott for contributions over summer. Snow White is really just a story about a date rape apple.

The Connor Sites-Bowen Memorial Robot Committee

Should you build a Connor Sites-Bowen Memorial Robot, its head must be at least as cute as that doorway.

Time Travel Committee

[It reported something]

Fortune Telling Fish Committee

Has seen your futures, would like to say: why did you not listen to me?!!

Committe to Get Quuxum to Buy More Committees to Get Us More Money

1. define have a job is still in effect

Twitter Committee

"fucking a dude" vs "fucking a, dude"

ESG Committee

Meeting tonight in WeH 5328 at 6:30

Ad-Hoc Committe to Map Out the Western Tunnel

Running out of steam

Committee to Flood Campus

Currently making progress

Some Committee About Exploring Pittsburgh

Some street has brick-shaped cobblestones made of wood c.c

Time Travel Committee

salute the president last year

Storytelling Committee

Dueling Firework Families

Old Business

dmullown has the thing. mega colon is not his fault.

New Business

Let jvirdo Dye Your Hair Committee

Purpose: Because it's fun!

Shaping up to be a very colorful committee

She only dyes with consent.

Favor: Complement hair; Opposed: Booo (?); Abstain: Be ambivalent

$8 to jvirdo; her and anyone whose hair she has died

Allocation not to exceed $50 for the event

Good idea

Lemur For My Valentine Committee

Purpose: To raise money for the KGB by selling lemurs in February

Purpose: Buy more tangerines. But lemurs are cuter.

Ron Paul endorses this committee.

Favor: Raise a lemur from birth; opposed: kill a lemur; abstain: talk about your pet possum

$6 to Quuxum; nwf & mrwright historically; drew & zsparks & matt & tim & caroline

Motion to Create the Giant Red Rubber Ball Committee

Purpose: To play Dirty Nine

Favor: Play game with your neighbors; Opposed: How terrible it is to hit your president in the face; Abstain: Make fun of Drew Besse for missing. Ha, ha, Drew throws like a girl $7 to Alan; him and anyone who has gotten to the center at Dirty Nine

Funes the Memorious Memorial Taxonomy Committee

To find a classification & pigeonhole absolutely every object, thing, event in the universe

Robot cat-herding committee is willing to extend its influence to words as well

Favor: Start classifying everything in the room; Opposed: Make one general category for everything in this room; Abstain: Classify your neighbor as a species of fish. $2 to Alan; him, him, him, ...

Nine of him need to pay the treasurer $2 each.

Announcements

Puzzle Hunt

Email Dannel (djurado) if you want to help

Event

Flagstaff. 6:45 at the black chairs if you don't know the way.

Dues

Pay $15

Q&A

Email Emily (eforney) with questions about the KGB

Underground Tour

September 4th. Planning for it on Saturday at 1pm; check the b-board for location. Come if you are interested in helping.

Schmucks

Sean

Graduated.

[applause]

To freshmen: CMU is hard. CMU is also commonly considered to be less fun than other hard places. You have friends. As long as you are not a total dick, people will be willing to help. Talk to your friends. Talk to your roommate. Talk to one of us. Talk to your professer. You'd be surprised how much easier it is if you talk to people -- even if it's just to vent for two hours. You are not alone.

Rocket Command

A301D Doherty at [times]