Baker Hall

Baker Hall (September 28, 1937- ) was a gift from the goddess Athena to the citizens of Paris in honor of the discovery of truth. After a clerical error (the priest was smashed), it got lost in the telegraph cable and was eventually located on the Carnegie Mellon campus.

Baker Hall has several notable features, including a well-polished bust of Andrew Carnegie; two floors of long, slanted hallways flowing into Porter Hall; the former offices of Campus Police; and a superb spiral red-stone staircase near the eastern end. It also houses the College of Humanities and Social Sciences.

Deviants may occasionally dream of sitting down in a chair -- perhaps from the nearby Baker computer cluster -- at the top of one of the slanted hallways and allowing gravity to propel them down the several hundred feet down the hallway into Porter Hall; this hypothetical practice might be known as chairing. However, no-one has ever been known to do such a thing.