The Spellbook

In 2024, High Wizard Ngaynor implemented a magic system within GBMs. Below is the official, up to date(ish) text of the KGB Spellbook:

Preface

Herein lies the ancient magical secrets that may be used for great effect during the gatherings of those known as “KGB.” This knowledge carries with it a grave deal of responsibility. The power one may possess from this text can cause great benefit or detriment to those nearby.

Conditions

In order to cast the spells detailed herein, one must achieve the state of being “magical.” One may do so by fulfilling one of the following conditions:

One is magical if they currently have bronchitis.

One is magical if they have uranium on their person.

One is magical for one minute after their motion is passed.

One is magical for one minute after receiving a high five from the magic hand

A motion can also become magical by fulfilling one of the following conditions:

A motion is magical if it receives no votes for any category. This motion is then tabled for one week.

A motion is magical if it receives unanimous approval from the general body present at the meeting besides the chair

Spells

Upon becoming magical, one may then cast one of the following spells. This must be done after being called upon by the chair. In order to cast a spell, one must say “I cast ____,” where the blank space must be filled with the name of the spell. If the spell is to affect another person, one must say “I cast ____ on ____” where the first blank must be filled with the name of the spell, and the second is to be filled with the name that the spell is to affect.

Short Term Friendship

Once cast, every person at the gathering must be really nice to you, and you are no longer lonely.

Friend Destroyer

Once cast upon someone who has cast Short Term Friendship, their friendships are thereon broken.

Animal Companion

Once cast, the chair must share an animal fact.

Summon Squid Companion

Once cast, the chair must share a fact about Splatoon.

Super Salute

Once cast upon a person, the general body must solute the target, after which the target loses 5 hit points.

Neptune's Curse

Once cast, the general body must speak as if they are underwater for 30 seconds. This spell may be ended early if a person was to fake their death through drowning.

Pronoun Swap

Once cast upon a person, the spellcaster and the target must swap pronouns.

Invoke Mob Justice

Once cast, the general body shall move into a vote. If the vote is successful, Daniel Yin is then reduced to 0 hit points.

Restore Tyrant

Once cast, Daniel Yin returns to 100 hit points and is no longer dead.

Laptop Destroyer

Once cast upon a person, they must close their laptop for at least 5 seconds - the target may refuse if the laptop is currently working a critical process. If the target does not currently have a laptop out, they must either take their laptop out, open it, then close it, or close someone else’s laptop with that person’s consent

Mage Hand

Once cast, whoever currently has the magic hand must give it to you.