Minutes20231127
MEETING 11/27/23
OFFICER REPORTS
Kevin: spent too much of break in hammerschlag hall because of SRAM, hung out with KGB folks who were in town
This Chair^Avalon: cleaned the office
Daniel: got eliminated from a mahjong tournament, event: GBGC-2, come play board and card games in Wean 5421
^Nick: spent a total of 16 hours on train with roommate, realized why just want to be roomates and not friends (yikes!)
Julia: london, ate lots of food
Theo: friend’s thanksgiving, all people went to highschool, middle school, religious school, they all know eachother
(Kevin commits financial fraud by paying 5$ for a 4.36$ gift card thrown at treasurer)
Benner: returned to Ohio, meeting about research opportunity that was much shorter than anticipated
COMMITTEE REPORTS
Benner: history of pepsi: in fish, Russia, there was a pepsi warehouse that collapsed and flooded the entire town and river with pepsi products
Nathan: ah my shoe: i burned off a piece of my shoe yesterday
Daniel: corn subsidies: 4.64
Theo: requesting mealblock
Nick: 5$
Teddy: according: all
Benner: wikipedia: there is a current pool on wikipedia for the last article or topic to ever be written on wikipedia, “a list of people in hell”, “volcanic activity under wikimedia server room”, “announcement of the winner of the pool”
Theo wants spirit of thing: not fault, this is their last week of school, not yours
ORDERS OF THE DAY
Daniel: motion to make the fizzbuzz committee purp: “I didn’t come up with a joke in time”
(unseconded)
Theo: motion to create the delulu is the solulu committee purp: “for everyone to gaslight themselves into thinking their life is easier than it is”
Passed, sold for 1$ to Theo, chaired by “your mom”
Nick: requesting a report from theo for how much I owe the org
Theo: 13$
Daniel: motion to allocate 70$ and 320 cents for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event
Aresh: motion to amend the amount to 420 dimes
Daniel: friendly, with an additional 70 cents
Theo: motion to amend to allocate 420 dimes and 69 nickels
Daniel: friendly, been changed
Passed, been allocated
Charles: motion to create a standing rule such that for this cyber monday only all auctions are 50% off
Theo: motion to make it so every cyber monday bids are 50% off but we’re going to double the original price
Charles: the final bid is discounted by 50%
Aresh: half cents rounded up or down
Charles: whichever is more even by IEEE floating point
Theo: motion to amend such that math taxed back up to original price
Amendment failed
Passed, been stood, sold for $2.00 (discounted price) to Daniel
Aresh: motion to create the fizzbuzz committee purp: “1”
Charles: 2
Aresh: fizz
Charles: 4
Vuyani: 5
Aresh: I pull out
Theo: motion to create the broken record committee “for the record to be bad and fail”
(failed by acclamation)
Daniel: motion to create a new standing rule such that whenever an auction sells for more than $7.73 Kevin must go to the corner of shame.
Nick: which Kevins
Daniel: it first checks if they’re named Kevin, then it ranks those kevins by whether they are the chair of the meeting, the chair comes first
Daniel: if multiple non-Kevin chairs, and no Kevin-chair, all of them have to go to the
Passed, been stood, sold for 7.74$ to Daniel
Benner: ever since I made the kontent poster of my dog as an american spy, dad saw while picking up, refers to him as american spy
Aresh: motion to #define the corner of shame to “outside”
compiler error
Charles: motion to #define Kevin as “the rules”
(unseconded)
Daniel: what snacks do you want
“summit cola should not not not not not not end”
Vuyani: I think we should have oreos
Theo: ad hoc tangerines: tangerines at karaoke
Nick: only if spoons are provided
Daniel: how do I disband a committee?
Kevin: are you the chair of the committee, I’ll figure that out
Julia: motion to #define “KGB’s christmas” to “any day on which the chair says who will after a standing rule has been passed”
Vuyani: motion to create a standing rule such that on any day which is KGB’s christmas, the corner of shame is the corner by the window with the window open
(Discussion of whether this constitutes a war crime)
Theo: motion to create the down with the Tepper committee purp: anytime Avalon says anything vaguely businessy we cheer down with the Tepper instead of down with the tyrant
Passed, sold for .50 cents (black friday deal to Nick, chaired by Largo)
Benner: technically under the geneva conventions, forced exposure to cold is illegal, but that would require Kevin is a prisoner of war
Kevin: being in a room with you sick fucks is like being a POW
Nick: motion to the color of Julia’s sweater
Aresh: motion to #fish#fish#fish
Benner: motion to create a standing rule such that if there is a period of silence longer than 30 secs in a GBM someone has to say a fun fact
Daniel: motion to amend such that animal facts are forbidden (friendly, been changed)
Vuyani: 25 sec (friendly been changed)
Sam: what if no one says
Benner: if you wait another thirty seconds you have two
Eshaan: motion to amend to e seconds (unfriendly)
Theo: motion to make it such that if no one says a fun fact kevin loses 10 hp
Passed, sold for 7.74$ (black friday discount to 3.87) to Daniel
Aresh: how much is this standing rule like those streams where they pay money to put dumb filter on stream
Eshaan: motion to mourn Kevin’s loss (Kevin claims to have not lost anything)
Kevin: ah lack of object permanence: we miss kevin, we don’t know where he’s gone
Theo: developing object permanence: who is kevin
Sam: philosophy: why is kevin
Kevin: ah thinking abt philosophy kevin thinks therefore he is
Vuyani: existential question
Aresh: Kevin: when kevin is kevin kevin kevin kevin
Nick: ah philosophy: kevin stands his ground
Eshann: ah Avalon’s philosophy: given kevin standing his ground, he can shoot any fetus in this room
Daniel: motion to create the broken record committee purpose: laughing, face in hands
Eshaan: ah willful misinterpretation: we don’t use record
Nathan: motion to fail by acclamation (failed)
Nick: short film gaslighting
Theo: gatekeeping committee: you are not in the KGB unless you pay the dues
Daniel: amend purpose to “motion to create the broken record committee”
Eshaan: [says something incriminating]
Failed
Eshaan: motion to form the broken records committee (ill defined)
Charles: motion to create the tautology committee “to serve the functions of the tautology committee”
Eshaan: confusion: need to go to ATM to put in pin to get
Aresh: if ten people join the tautology committee, the tautology committee will have 10 people
Passed, sold for 10$ to Charles (5$ discounted), chaired by the chair of the tautology committee
Benner: motion to ban philosophy from all KGB meetings (ill defined)
Sam: motion to create the redundancy committee “to serve the purposes of the redundancy committee”
Eshaan: motion to pass by acclamation
Passed, sold for 6$ to Eshaan (discounted to 3$) chaired by “me”
REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS
We are the cmu kgb, we have an event GBGC 2, come get boarded, get carded, wean 5421, 7 pm
Theo: we have dues 25/yr 15/sem, tomorrow is giving tuesday if you like farnham giving us his money donate tomorrow, if you want to know how much you owe debts-wise talk to theo after meeting or on discord, just send cashnet receipt
Kevin: please specify when you put in organization that it’s KGB
Kevin: we will be meeting thursday 5 pm in Wean 5320 to discuss CTFWS rules/retrospective
SCHMUCKS
Benner: might be getting a research job (clapping)
Eshaan: IBM asked me why I as an English major am applying there
Kevin: motion to colonial grey
Eshaan: Gitfo
