Minutes20231204
OFFICER REPORTS
Kevin: school mascots
Avalon: went to Kappa formal, not in Kappa
Daniel: forgot to sleep, played splatoon, event: Karaoke Garaoke Baraoke
Nick: stayed home, submit to pravda
Julia: forgot to study for exam, played stardew valley
Avalon^Theo: did nothing but be a slave to the school of drama, the school of drama sucks, tepper is so much better, I apologize to Avalon for the heinous committee created last week that mentioned Avalon by name
Benner: did nothing but write and also watch a 4 hour video essay (hbomberguy)
COMMITTEE REPORTS
Nathan: ad hoc pilk: I believe I saw someone making pilk unironically in the exchange today, pepsi with at least a tablespoon of milk
Nick: block market: 4$
Twain: corn subsidies: 4.61
Anthony: misappriated plants: most plants have died, grab as many christmas trees as you can, we’re going to scalp christmas trees
Benner: wikipedia: sept 15 1896 publicity stunt in texas where william george crush decided to crash two trains together at full speed, made full town named crush
Eshaan: ad hoc forgetfulness: that
Daniel: something what snacks: I’m not asking you
Benner: going down: everything
Anthony: ad hoc FDA: formal question: is there a vegan option for this meeting
Eshaan: mis going down: going down down sugar going down down
Eshaan: euphemism: going down is funny
Nick: ah requesting snacks: normal oreos, and maybe some lemon cake again
Daniel: did I ask
Sam: ah FDA: vegan cake
Anthony: out of date references, must one yell timber on top of going down
Daniel: mis ah who: will
Eshaan: ah will: prefers to be called billy now
(Broken records)
Nick: [REDACTED]
Anthony: ah broken record committee
Eshaan: [REDACTED]
Avalon: has thing
Anthony: wants thing, not fault: expulsion of George Santos, is fault: exponential down going of everything else
OLD BUSINESS
From November 20th
motion to create the “order of the day committee 2” with purpose “to be tabled until next week”
Nick: motion to table for 10.5 days
Charles: call to question
Anthony: I like that table
Eshaan: I also like this table
Passed, been tabled for 10.5 days
Nick: motion to make an allocation for 50 million dollars for the purpose of buying two trains to crash into eachother
Kevin: dilatory
(argument)
Avalon: NEW PEOPLE!!!
Shay: shay, from NJ, mech e major, likes the new york giants, freshman, he/him
Guytree (sp?): she/her, cs, Pittsburgh, Steelers fan
Twain: motion to create a new standing rule only for this meeting where you can only speak if you have this ball or are Kevin
Nathan: motion to fail by acclamation
Anthony: are we permitted to use ASL in the absence of speaking
Failed
Avalon: motion to create the Avalon’s one day old starbucks committee, purpose “for someone to help me open my one day old starbucks, I’ve been trying for 20 minutes now
Anthony: can any means be used
Keerthana: motion to offer this effigy as prize for whoever opens it
Daniel: motion to pass by acclamation
Twain: Eshaan pay attention in GBM (standing rule)
Eshaan: I don’t know what motion we’re in
(Eshaan is sent to the corner of shame)
Sold for 4$ to Avalon, chaired by sherlock (the person who opened the starbucks)
Anthony: motion to create a standing rule such that if there is no treasurer present we consider the treasury to be 50 million dollars in summit cola
Nick: motion to pass by acclamation
Passed, been stood
sold for 7.74$ to Benner
NEW PERSON!!!
Talia, NYC, middle east studies Dickinson (graduated 6 months ago), 23, intending to apply to CMU and Pitt, when walking here, walked over grass instead of paths, color of floor is wood
Daniel: motion to allocate 50 million dollars for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event
Benner: motion to create the heat death of the universe committee purp: “to be the last committee ever passed by the KGB”
Keerthana: motion to table until the heat death of the universe
Passed, been tabled
Charles: motion to allocate 10$ for each variant of oreo-stuffed things for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event
Julia: motion to amend to “all the variants of oreo-stuffed oreos present wherever Daniel goes to shop for snacks for this week’s event”
Charles: intent is different stuff thicknesses of oreos
Talya: four years or so ago my sister put toothpaste instead of oreo cream for april fools
Daniel: can we allocate a real amount of money?
Daniel: when I ask for a blank check you say no Kevin
Passed, been allocated
Keerthana: motion to create a standing rule such that all allocations for sippy sips and nummy nums must be made in units of summit cola
Failed
Julia: motion #define “will you all shut up” as “call the question”
(Discussion of whether it’s call to question or call the question, lots of people are surprised)
Twain: apparently we’re using call to question wrong, you need to vote on it
Talya: can I see evidence of the 50 million dollars?
Passed, been #defined
Avalon: wait I forgot, hold on, I pull out
Twain: check general, I have just sent a link to a 1981 locomotive for 15,000$
Benner: IRS committee: where did KGB obtain that money
Avalon: motion to propose Carnegie Mellon as the location where the trains would collide
Nathan: [REDACTED]
Anthony: motion #define call to question as call the question
Keerthana: motion to call your mom’s question
Nick: motion to call Kevin’s mom
Daniel: motion to cause suffering for fun
Nick: motion to the broken record committee
Twain: Kevin what is your mom’s name and where does she live
Kevin: unfriendly
Benner: Kevin what’s your mom’s maiden name, and what is your bank account
Kevin: Kevin is your mom single
Sherlock: Kevin if your mom’s phone number was an amount of money how much would it be
Twain: Kevin, your middle name is nmn?
Kevin: that stands for no middle name
Keerthana: Be better nerds
Passed, been #defined
Daniel: motion to make a standing rule such that if you call the question you must also say the string “call the question” (unseconded)
Kevin leaves because he is being doxxed, Avalon is now chair
Daniel: motion to create a standing rule such that after every auction the chair must say “who will”
Passed, been stood, sold to Evin (Kevin) for 15$
NEW PERSON
Evin, I’m an ECE major graduating in December of 2024, wear hats, he/him, from a location that everyone knows already
Anthony: motion to create a standing rule called the broken record rule that allows you to pass a standing rule or committee that has already been passed again, they can be titled the same thing, but have different numbers
Daniel: motion to fail by acclamation
Anthony: objection
Passed, been stood, sold for siz (6)$ for Kevin
Daniel: motion to purple
Charles: motion to move on to real and relevant announcements
REAL RELEVANT ANNOUNCMENTS
Kevin: hello we are the CMU KGB, the wrong Kevin is up there now
Avalon: events friday at 7
Daniel: Karaoke: here, 7pm on Friday
Avalon: Dues 15/sem, 20/yr, 69/hr
Avalon: ITR may be running during finals week, check schmucks
Avalon: Geek eat, sign up sheet, next wednesday, we go to cheesecake factory
SCHMUCKS
Anthony: new song, may have mentioned 2 weeks ago, said song now out on all streaming platforms
Nathan: go see the CMU philharmonic, wednesday night at soldiers and sailors, thursday noon
Benner: an hour before KGB event, cmu GCS will be showing games they made, my game will not be done, you can see other people’s games that will not be
(K)Evin: ITR is a fun little thing where you get duct tape daggers and go to wean 4, get card that says friendly or unfriendly, you go around stabbing people with daggers, kind of like mafia, if you like running around on wean 4, and stabbing people with daggers, and variations with weird classes, come to itr
