Minutes20240122
MEETING 1/22/24
OFFICER REPORTS
Kevin: fish fish zaxbys
Avalon: New person!!!
Ashley she/her, SCS, freshman, can breathe
Daniel: started playing bitburn, which is a “game”, idle game like cookie clicker, but you do programming and write javascript, so it sucks, event: tools training
Theo^Nick: think was in scotland or ireland, or england, submit to Pravda
Julia: got wisdom teeth out, scandalized doctor by saying coming out of the anesthesia was like being drunk
Theo: over the weekend played with cat who is very very very stupid, he also woke me up at 4 am
Benner: won bidding war for KGB id card
COMMITTEES
Twain: animal facts: scientists discovered microscopic levels 3rd law of motion not followed, found out by looking at sperm under microscopt
Avalon: mis. mealblock: 4.50
Twain: animal facts: found cat piano online, started aggressively playing the C chord at people who annoyed me
Nathan: mis wikipedia: for only 850$ you can become a duke/dutchess of sealand
Avalon: ah asking twain personal questions: why are they meowing at you?
Theo: booth: we are building our booth, come build our booth, wednesdays at 6 pm, saturdays at 11, will be sippy sips and nommy noms
Nathan: mis. wikipedia: if you apply to be a duke/dutchess of sealand as a couple, you can both become a duke or dutchess of 900$ (on sale right now)
Ben: wikipedia: international obfuscated c contest: contest to make worst, least understandable c code, rules intentionally written for contestants to be able to abuse rules and find loopholes
NEW PERSON AGAIN!!!!
Alan, freshman math major, born at the ripe age of 0, from maryland
Nathan: not wikipedia: ed sheeran is a member of the nobility of sealand
Daniel: adhoc: IOCC: IOCC has not had a contest since 2020 :(
Nathan has thing, Daniel wants thing, not fault: crushing despair at 12pm today that has to do things
ORDERS OF THE DAY
from 12/11/23: Motion to create the zeno’s paradox committee, with purpose “to get halfway to the creation of the zeno’s paradox committee”
Twain: motion to pass by acclamation
Passed, sold for 1$ to avalon, chaired by “You will, Kevin”
NEW BUSINESS
Theo: motion to make Daniel president [not entertained, despite chants of “down with the tyrant”]
Daniel: motion to eject avalon from the meeting [dilatory]
Nathan: motion to make the sealand committee “to uncover all the secrets of sealand, and any people we know who may be nobility and to commandeer sealand”
Sold to Nathan for 2$, chaired by Ed sheran
Theo: motion to allocate 9,999$ for sippy sips and nummy nums for booth this season
Passed, been allocated
Theo: motion to allocate -40$ [dilatory]
Ben: motion to create the snowman mourning committee “to mourn the two snowmen made by my roomate and I that were killed by the morning”
Sold for 9$ to Ben, chaired by the spirits of the snowmen we have lost this winter
Theo: motion to create the treasury for tax fraud committee “to buy a papa john’s franchise with 9,999$ and use it to launder money”
Ben: might be an illegal idea
Passed, sold for 6$ to Sam, chaired by Ed Sheeran
Teddy: motion to make the bone finding committee “to find bones in pittsburgh”
Avalon: would the bones be located within living species?
Teddy: they were
Daniel: there are about 3,000 bones in this room
Theo: of the 3,000 bones in this room, about 260 are edible
Sunana: motion to amend title to “sanctioned murder committee”
Benner: buying or just taking
Teddy: buying
Nathan: I think you should be finding them and selling them
Theo: motion to make it such that this committee only exists in strip in Yellowstone where murder is legal (no one lives in state and county, so can’t have jury of peers, so no trial) [unfortunately we’re in an amendment]
Teddy: to clarify no one’s actually killed anyone there, so there’s no precedent
Daniel: motion to pass by acclamation
Teddy: objection
Amendment failed
Theo: motion to pass by acclamation
Sold for 5$ to Teddy, chaired by me, sure why not, I will keep you posted
Twain: motion to create the counting committee “if you notice that a lot of people are voting yes put your hand down to make sure kevin has to count, and shout random numbers while he is counting, and also say 3rded 4thed etc. when someone seconds a motion”
Passed, sold for 3$ to Avalon, chaired by “Count von Count[from sesame street]”
Theo: motion to make a standing rule such that if you successfully murder someone in the zone of death, your dues are the current price of summit cola per year for the next 100 years
Passed, sold for 1$ to Theo
Twain:motion to the left [been moved]
Avalon: motion the the right [been moved]
Theo: the broken record committee would like to report [audible sigh from kevin]
Twain: the broken record committee would like to report [audible sigh from kevin]
Sam: the broken broken broken
Daniel: motion to create the fix the broken record committee “to fix the broken record committee”
Failed
Twain: requesting a high five from Kevin [kevin high fives them]
Daniel: motion to create the kill people with power tools committee “to kill people who don’t come to tools training, to incentivize people to come to tools training, only applies to people who haven’t been using tools for 7+ years [sunana’s amendment], and to find bones [Sam’s amendment]”
Nathan: point of information do their bones count towards the bones thing
Avalon: motion to amend such that it is just killing Twain and not only people who have not used power tools before [unfriendly, not strond]
[discussion of poopmap ensues for some reason]
sold for 3$ to Sam, chaired by Ed Sheeran
Theo: motion to #define “the GBM space” as “the part of Yellowstone in Idaho”
Passed, been #defined
REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS
Kevin: we r KGB, exec meetings, sunday 2pm UC 306
Daniel: we have an event, it’s tools training, we’ll kill you if you don’t come
Theo: Dues: 15$/sem, 20$/yr, 69/hour, special discount if you murder someone in yellowstone or here, booth builds Wednesday 6-8pm, Saturday 11-1pm, free food
Kevin: ReadMe (satire magazine) will hopefully be published, printed, distributed, if you’re interested in participating let me know
SCHMUCKS
Theo: stage managing a little night music, CMU students get discounted entry, purnell doesn’t actually bite you
Ben: I am a writer for ReadMe, and I’m pretty funny I like to think, if you want to read me being super funny, you should read it
Sunana: 2-5 tuesdays & thursdays and fish Fridays, Taekwondo
Avalon: CMU democrats have an event on Sunday doors open at 1, starts at two, have Summer Lee and two other candidates for congress, I am moderating
Sam: Fencing is 2:00 on Thursdays [fish], we like beginners
Ashley: if you want to learn about how people actually killed people in the middle ages, hima? club Friday 5-7 UC activity room
Benner: motion to Pantone 448 C
Daniel: pantone 448 C is informally dubbed the ugliest color
Twain: motion to purple purple seafoam green …. fish fish fish and gitfo
