Minutes20241118
OFFICER REPORTS
Daniel: Finished evangelion
Benner: been reading a book for a class, an extremely good book, life in 2 genders by jennifer finney boylan, I recommend you all read it, the opening image for the entirety of the book has to do with her son eating a marble, and waiting to see if he shits it out, it’s a different marble than what he ate, it’s a metaphor for the rest of the book, adding stuff to the kgb wiki, if you want something added, ask me
NEW PEOPLE, Saavi, cheme 2028, she/her spokane wa, came here by walking
Teddy: cvs thought I didn’t exist, refused to give me my medication, didn’t do a lot until sunday afternoon, CTFWS, DH 2315 7pm friday
Nathan: saw the pittsburgh symphony, played neely bingo, the old people are onto something with bingo, bingo slaps, yesterday made a carrot cake, had to grate the 1lb of baby carrots by hand over the course of 30 minutes
Julia: I wrote a bug so bad that it would exit my ssh session
Ryan: drank horrible mixture of sriracha and ketchup (was told not to)
Isaac: got sick, but I’m feeling a little better, went on a pretty mediocre date
COMMITTEE REPORT
Benner: wikipedia: user vghfr/sa/wikipediaisnotabarbecue, contrary to popular belief, wikipedia is not a barbecue
Nathan: quora: bloodlust bad?
Benner: wikipedia: user vghfr/sa/wikipediaisabarbecue
Isaac: ah remorse: I’m really sorry about the thing, showed up too late last time, my bad
Gavin: ah national day: today is national occultism day
Teddy: ah misc. animal noises: [recording of american woodcock]
Nathan: corn subsidies: 4.29
Benner: Isaac would you like to inform those who were not there why you are apologizing
Isaac: unfriendly
Gavin: genuinely good news: archaeologists found a sabertooth tiger in siberia
Ryan: impostor cmu: baker at umass amherst
Benner: wikipedia: the order of the occult hand, secret society of american journalists who insert phrase
Reed: apparently there was a thing called pig day where all of the big comic authors would all publish a comic strip involving a pig on specific day
Isaac: reminding people about the lingering curse committee: see name
Nathan: bun butler: had a dog named skidmark, drawn to dog after it killed a hamster
Gavin: good news: tomatoes are gonna be sweeter because new genetic modification
Benner: speedrunning: undertale category extensions: gdq%, normal any % run of undertale, but you have to be on premises of agdq or sgdq, have to provide some kind of proof? GPS location?
Gavin: ah national day: it is mickey mouse’s birthday today, good day to remind you that mickey (according to biology) has been dead for 86+ years
Benner: wikipedia: list of people who have died at disney world
Isaac: reminding people about the lingering curse committee: who has it today?
Nathan: Ryan
Reed: not wikipedia but anecdote to share which is deaths in yellowstone book: deaths in yellowstone include people bathing in hotsprings, people attempting to pet buffalo, recorded (non-death) case of people trying to put baby on bear and take selfie
Ryan: ah did you know you can just say anything as a part [fish]
Teddy: ah gaslighting people about the lingering curse committee: lingering curse committee does not exist
Nathan: hivemind: ryan has the plague ling ma end report
Ryan has thing but not here, Benner would like spirit of thing, not fault: fact that its getting dark at like 5, is fault: the us government’s inability to pass a resolution abolishing daylight savings
NEW BUSINESS
Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that anyone who is magical has the ability to cast spells
Benner: what does it mean to cast spells?
Nathan: has not been defined yet, we can define it another time
Reed: point of information: can we defined casting spells as committing robbery (not friendly)
Benner: point of information: we do have a give people bronchitis committee
Passed
Murphy: motion to create the innovative ctfws tactics committee: you can buy adult heelies
Passed, sold for 5$ to Murphy, chaired by me and anyone wearing heelies
Benner: motion to allocate 75$ for the purpose of buying heelies
Nathan: who will be wearing the shoes?
Benner: hopefully me
Nathan: would this give an unfair advantage to one team
Benner: they can buy their own pair of heelies if they choose
Isaac: are we adding micro transactions to CTFWS
Benner: if you give me 50$ I will rig CTFWS
Nathan: will you get these shoes by friday
Kevin: motion to amend to heelies for head judge? (unfriendly, not pursued)
Benner: would be open to amending to 150$
Failed, not allocated
Ryan: motion to make a spell such that everyone likes you and is friends with you and you don’t have to be alone anymore (not well defined)
Benner: motion to allocate $3.75 to Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund
Kevin: we’re at -4 right now
Benner: now it would be $0.25
Passed
Teddy: I have to leave, leeroy jenkins, take 99 hp daniel
Kevin: motion to allocate 150$ for this weeks event for snacks and electrolyte filled drinks
Benner: motion to amend such that it can also be used to purchase 2 pairs of heelies
Murphy: michael j murphy committee: your actions are not endorsed by me or KGB if they break CTFWS rules or CMU rules
Amendment failed
Passed, been allocated
Isaac: motion to create a standing rule to make a list of spells that can be cast, which can be added on to or subtracted from using standing rules
Nathan: motion to amend such that if you raise your hand and say the magic word associated with a spell, you may cast the spell
Isaac: dictionary with keys as magic words
Kevin: arguments for spells?
Gavin: would it be better if we assign someone to keep track of a spellbook, maybe it shouldn’t be standing rules
Ryan: will this dictionary be a search tree or a hashbucket or abstract interface
Passed, been stood
Benner: KGWiki: if someone were to hypothetically send me spells after the meeting, I could put them in the wiki
Kevin: floor is lava: floor is now lava
Ryan: fish:end report
Reed: ah floor is lava denial: I don’t believe you
Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that we add to the spell book the spell temporary name such that I will be taking suggestions from the general body, such that once it is cast it makes you no longer lonely
Kevin: I propose the name “short term friendship” (friendly, been changed)
Isaac: seconded :(
Ryan: amend such that it makes everyone be really nice to you
Passed
Benner: motion to create the spell “friend destroyer” such that if someone casts the spell short term friendship you can cast it to destroy their friendships
Passed, been stood
Isaac: I pull out, unlike your mother
Nathan: motion to create a spell titled “lazy paper airplane” that deals the effects of throwing a paper airplane without throwing it
Benner: motion to amend such that you have to have and throw a paper airplane, it doesn’t have to hit them
Fail
Ryan: motion to create a spell “shield” fish (unseconded)
Gavin: motion to create a standing rule such that you are magical only if you are out of earshot
(failed)
Murphy: motion to create the old people with a job committee “people with money should give more of it to the KGB”
Nathan: giving day
Sold for 100$ to Murphy, chaired by “Me”
Benner: ah gbm locations: the size of GBM has quadrupled since we moved it to the fence, we should have all the meetings here
Gavin: good point
Nathan: it is 5:53
Benner: motion to #define 5:53 as 5:00
Gavin: motion to fail by acclamation
Failed
Ryan: motion to make anyone with chlamydia antimagical, they cannot be magical
Benner: I’m pretty sure that counts as medical discrimination
Gavin: motion to amend to just not making them magical, KGB is taking a chlamydia neutral stance
Failed
Nathan: lazy paper airplane kevin (didn’t work)
RRAS
Daniel: we are the CMU KGB, you found GBM at the fence today
Benner: you should come to them even if they’re not outside
Daniel: 5pm mondays
Daniel: CTFWS, game of capture the flag between wean and dh with magical items, painting the fence tonight, if you can help hold between 7 and 9 that’s when I will not be available, booth design meeting in 5 minutes in WEH 5304, if you want pizza, let’s leave 2 people here, readme this wednesday, check that out, help fold readme on tuesday night, will let you know where that is, that’s it for RRAs
SCHMUCKS
Ryan: dinner thursday at 8 for people who helped hold pink fence
Benner: if you decided you hate readme and don’t wanna paint the fence, after food I will be in WEH 5201, come hang out and make me not get my work done
Kevin: take fun with robots next semester, class mondays in 5202 that time
Kevin: motion to sky purple
Danya: if anyone sees someone get hit by a car on campus tell me, I write the embarrassing missed connections articles for readme
Benner: motion to leave purple, seafoam green
Noah: motion to super purple (it’s like more purple)
Gavin: motion to fuck ultra purple
Kevin: motion to ultraviolet
Reed: motion to subpurple
Danya: motion to replace the purple with microwaves so we all get cooked
Kevin: motion to barely purple
Danya: motion to microwaves
Noah: super purple
Benner: broken record
Julia: gitfo
