Minutes20130902
From KGB Wiki
OFFICER REPORTS
Broman
had a weekend
involved like 12 hours of magic and an hour of ITR and maybe 6 hours of diplomacy (7 hours?)
did some other stuff that wasn't work
still not doing work tonight because Bubbles invited him to play fantasy football
Caroline
had a week
on the weekend got dressed up super fancy and went to a burger joint where the servers were REALLY confused
fell over laughing about spaghetti at one point
new people!
(Name, Major, place of origin, uninteresting fact)
Spencer, vocal performance, Vancouver, enjoys riding bikes
Victoria, architecture, new jersey, has skin the color of pancake batter
Melvin, architecture, Johto region, is yellow
JRAM
had a weekend
invented a game called Dodge Frisbee, AKA You Should Be Running Why Aren't You Running
also other things such as ITR and How to Brutally Betray Your Team Members in Halo
EVENT!
Underground tour
Friday, 7:30, UC Black Chairs
dress inconspicuously!
Marlena
had a weekend
started with the event
then woke up real early and went downtown and played games with strangers
some of the games may appear at events in the future!
didn't go to itr because she was exhausted after running for 10 hours
watched Wall-E instead
played...something on Sunday
no one submitted to Pravda?, so there isn't a Pravda? this week!
submit art, poems, writing!
Zora
had a weekend!
Did homework, a lot of homework, but not enough homework, and cleaned the kitchen
Feels accomplished even if they aren't sure anything actually got accomplished
Dillon
had a weekend a weekend
went to the event (that was fun)
participated in Dodge Frisbee (arguably less fun)
played diplomacy on Sunday (again, arguably less fun)
Mike
is not Mike
had a weekend
played ITR, knows that because Dan was there
after that there's just a mysterious haze
pretty sure Dan bought a bike
he is now in the cult
COMMITTEE REPORTS
Ditto Committee: elekid!
Untap of Places that Don't Exist Committee: Wean is more defendable for CtFwS because the exits on 3 and 4 no longer exist
Whatever tvauhan's Mashup Committee Was: reports with Gangnam Train
Bike Committee: welcomes its new members, dkirby and Spencer. They'll find you.
Misappropriated We So White Committee: thank you
Misappropriated Bike Committee: soon?
Name of That Committee Committee: this is a report
Committee to Assassinate the President: FIRE
Alcoholist Committee: initial foray to Stacks was 2/3 successful.
Reccommends the Long Island Iced Tea but not whatever that blue one was
Committee to Not Split Infinitives: Failure
ad hoc Comittee to Prevent West Wing's Fire Alarm From Going Off: Failure
ad hoc Latin is a Dead Language Would You Please Stop Using It Committee: Failure
LATIN WORDS Committee: reports
ad hoc French Words: French should be the semi-oficcial language of the KGB because French was actually used in Russia
ad hoc Ukranian Committee: We should just go all the way back and use Ukranian as our official language
'Murica Committee: Is not happy with any of this.
ad hoc Russian Words: RUSSIAN WORDS ((it seemed unhappy, but that might just be Russian))
OLD BUSINESS
The Thing
Alex has thing
Stupid things he does are not his fault this week
The Committee Which Will Take 7 Years to Pass: to take 7 years to pass
motion to postpone for 7 more years?
we've gone about this REALLY hastily!
motion to call Glisson and tell him to get his butt over here
out of order
eforney is definitely both older and taller than McGinnis
proposal withdrawn
change all instances of "pass" to "pass gas"
FAILS
change purpose to "take 7 lightyears to pass"
FAILS
change purpose to "to have passed 7 years ago"
PASSES
change all instances of "pass" to "fail"
FAILS
motion to postpone for 7 years
FAILS
change all instances of "7" to "8"
FAILS
motion to stop asking about the number 7
only 90s kids will get this joke
PASSES
$50 to Margaret, Margaret and Evan Danaher will chair
NEW BUSINESS
The Committee That Will Pass 7 Days From Now: to pass 7 days from now
sooooooon
change purpose to "to have passed 7 days ago"
PASSES
change name to "The Committee That Will Pass 7 Years From Now", purpose to "eught"
PASSES
The Committee to Test the Rec Sec approves
motion to postpone for 7 years
we should use next largest prime number (11)
if it's not on a Monday, the next meeting afterwards
changed to the time of the postponement to 7 years, rounded to the nearest Monday
FAILS
change all instances of "days" to "wonders"
PASSES
change all instances of "years" to "wonders"
PASSES
change purpose to "to have passed 7 wonders ago"
PASSES
PASSES
$7 to Drew, ccolombo will chair
Name and purpose now: "The Committee That Will Pass 7 Wonders From Now: to have passed 7 wonders ago"
The 2 Armies Problem Sabotoge Committee: To make sure the peace treaty between the loyalists and the rebels never gets to its destination
change name to "Sidewalk Loyalists Committee" and purpose to "to get rid of rebel scum"
PASSES
change all instances of "rebels" to "bells"
PASSES
change all instances of "bells" to "hell"
PASSES
change all instances of "scum" to "bugmars"
PASSES
change all instances of "hells" to "humans"
PASSES
PASSES
$3 to drew, DISBANDED THE REBELS WILL TRIUMPH
Sidewalk Rebels Committee
dilatory
Committee With a Different End: Committees used to fail in interesting ways. Then we made more money off more interesting committees. See, this one's not interesting
FAILS
Quantum Mechanics Committee: to travel through time, righting all wrongs
motion to indefinitely postpone so the committee doesn't collapse into a single state
PASSES
The Committee to Take it Easy on the Rec Sec: EVIL LAUGHTER
change each "ha" to "bugmars"
PASSES
change each successive syllable to the next odd number
PASSES
change each nth odd number to each nth Mersenne prime
PASSES
PASSES
$6 to Victoria, Melvin will chair
Name and purpose now: Fuck you figure it out yourself
Quantum Mechanics Union: to ensure wellbeing of all those who work on quanta
something something bugmars
motion to measure the speed of this committee
PASSES, good luck
fuck you scott walker
change all instances of "union" to "intersection"
change all instances of "intersection" to "anion"
motion to measure the position of the committee
in the shop?
PASSES
$2 to Skittles, McGinnis will chair
Motion to allocate $150 for the next two events!
It's more than usual because food for the Underground Tour is expensive
Vegetarian count: 3
you can absolutely get your burger without cheese
PASSES
The Out of Order Committee
fails for lack of a purpose
The Real-tea Party: throwing tea into bodies of water
change purpose to "to sell houses"
PASSES
PASSES
$2 to Skittles, eforney will chair
The SAT Prep Committee: to give the KGB a vocab word of the day
change name to "The 3SAT Prep Committee"
PASSES
change all instances of the letter "t" to "a drink with jam and bread"
PASSES
change all instances of "vocabulary words" to "math problems"
FAILS
PASSES
$3 to eforney, linguists will chair (which is to say everyone)
Name and purpose now: "a drink with jam and breadhe 3SAa drink with jam and bread Prep Commia drink with jam and breada drink with jam and breadee:
a drink with jam and breado give a drink with jam and breadhe KGB a vocab word of a drink with jam and breadhe day"
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT!
Underground Tour
UC Black Chairs, Friday, 7:30 p.m.
learn all the dark secrets of CMU
dress inconspicuously
Posters!
take some and put them places!
or, print some out and put them in places ON CAMPUS
you can find them at cmukgb.org, on the propaganda page
try not to put more than 1 on any one bulletin board
interesting placements are good, bad placements are bad
puzzlehunt planning meeting
Porter A19, Tuesday, 9:30 pm
actual Puzzlehunt will be on Oct 12!
pay your dues!
$20/year, $15/semester
they make you a real voting member, able to vote on real important stuff!
also you get discounts on tshirts
Pay Dillon then give Zora your andrewID
SCHMUCKS
Steven is missing a nerf gun! (Nevermind, we found it)
Activities Fair
Wednesday at 4:30 on the CFA lawn
everyone should go, but especially freshmen
you can learn about all the student organizations
all the buggy orgs will be there
motion to purple and getfood
