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OFFICER REPORTS

   Mike
       had a weekend
       ran around solving puzzles
       there was a potato in their mailbox addressed to zora
       zombies is out of bounds rn!! don't shoot nerf darts
       
   Skye
       had a weekend
       zombies started!!!
       has not been asleep in a very long time
       new people
           jaime, mech e, squirrel hill, three shirts
           jeremy, math, southern PA, lives in morewood
           patrick, cs, san jose, slept an average amount of time last night
           adam, business, new york, business major
           marcus, engineering, pittsburgh, is from pittsburgh
   
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       played a lot of artemis
           craig manned a ship by himself
               it was awful
       went to palantir!
           they gave 1st 2nd and 3rd place water bottles
       EVENT
           arts and crafts!!
           friday, 7pm, PH A18*
   
   Erin
       had a weekend
       went to the other side of PA to visit a friend and GO TO THE RENN FAIR
           even though it was really cold
       did not do enough work on sunday
       got her work done today
       new socks
       SUBMIT TO PRAVDA
   
   Zora
       had a weekend
       got sick
       did not do enough work
       got a potato?????
           has not made contact with the physical potato form yet
   
   Joe
       had a weekend
       thinks he did
       there was a lot of sleepning
       not a lot of memory
       was a robot at one point? a shitty robot
           that was fun
       also old people
       pppppuns
   
   Murphy
       had a weekend
       began with the event. artemis!
       compilers. steven universe. sleep.
           in that order of time spent
       went to a diner this morning because he was awake
           more calories at that diner than this entire weekend
           

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   70s pop songs and sandwiches
       i need a hero
   
   workers rights and sum theory??
       union
   
   malaphors
       i have a real beef to pick with you
   
   shit i heard on a podcast
       dude has one of those amazon voice things
       kid was playing around
       and then ordered 24 rolls of toilet paper by accident
       that was the podcast
   
   ad hoc toilet paper
       a few summers ago maddy had a toilet paper subscription
       it works
   
   welcome to the midwest
       there can be four fudge shops in the same block and this is SUSTAINABLE as long as you're in wisconsin
   
   incredible dedication to our organization
       murphy's credit card has the fence on it
       
   infinity is weird
       everyone except greg kownacke will cry

OLD BUSINESS

   The Thing!
       picking booth topics is not espy's fault this week
       
   actual soviet spies
       marlena calls the question
       dylan tries to table
           can't table after the question's been called!
       what is the purpose?
           who even knows
       change purpose to "dammit guys"
           FAILS
       purpose was "[russian]"
           oh it meant "i'm gonna kill the president"
       the committee to assassinate the president reports
   PASSES
   $21 to Nika, nika will chair

NEW BUSINESS

   committee for far future puns: if you want to call yourself spacefaring, you ort to leave the solar system first
       what
   PASSES
   $2 to owen, wants his dollar back
   
   find the real actual difference between math and logic: to get owen's dollar back
       david's arm is just comfortable like this
       motion to table for an hour
           PASSES
   
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $60 for the entrance fee for booth
       this is a real relevant discussion!
       BOOTH DISCUSSION.
           booth is a lot of fun, but it's also a lot of work, but it's ultimately worth it
           but no really: it's a lot of fun
               KGB booth is for EVERYONE, so regardless of if you've paid dues or even heard of the KGB before you can participate
                   the only hitch is the student activities fee--you need to have paid it to be on midway
                   but you can still help plan and in the kage the whole time!
               there are tasks for everyone
                   like construction? awesome
                   like art? awesome
                   don't know how to do thing? awesome!!!
           and a lot of work
               spring is HARD. you're gonna be busy, and booth is a time commitment
               so consider that
       motion for a roll call vote
           passes
   PASSES
   
   booth logistics!
       booth theme will be revealed on thursday!
           semifinals are
               game night
               travel through time
               blast from the past
               and another one?
       we need to come up with our OWN theme after that
           we're gonna create a voting system and post about it
   
   inadvisable branding: to figure out what the worst thing to brand with the kgb logo is (that people would still buy)
       most appropriate: cattle
       our logo looks like the actual kgb logo
           there are actual communists
           SOMEONE will probably buy anything
       motion to make an allocation not to exceed $1000 to buy a couple head of steer
           FAILS
       mike's forehead
           and then there were bids
   PASSES
   $1 to joe, the creators of leninade will chair
   
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the event
       PASSES
   
   committee to burn down pittsburgh: yeah pretty much that
       mari is in a glass class
       append to purpose "and smash up the starbucks at forbes and craig"
           PASSES
       downtown pgh once flooded like 10 feet
           this happened long enough ago that all the buildings were made of wood
           so the electricity freaked out
           so the city was simultaneously flooded and burning
       insert "but not r7" to purpose
           PASSES
   PASSES
   $7 to owen, mari and all owners of sledgehammers will chair
   
   the kgb stock market: to buy and sell shares of committees
       it exists already (not that that's ever stopped us before)
           skye has done this
           all you have to do is talk to the chair
               and then the chair can shoot you down from there
       motion to table indefinitely
           FAILS
       motion to make an allocation not to exceed infinity dollars to buy a share of the committee as a whole
           no
       motion to table for an hour
           PASSES
   

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       arts and crafts
       PHA18*, 7:00pm, Friday
       release your inner michaelangelo and also graph theory
   
   dinner!
       we get it!
       we're meeting in resnik! or rather outside of resnik. look for the nerds
   
   booth!
       if you're interested in being a booth chair, come talk to us at EXEC, 7:30 WEDS UC 329
   

SCHMUCKS

   kickstarter!
       zora is running a kickstarter!
       Dates: An anthology of queer historical fiction
       find it at kickstarter.datesanthology.com!
   
   sweet things!
       nick does bake for order sweet things!
       talk to them if you want a food
   
   brunch!
       erin and ed do brunch on sundays at 10:30 in schatz!