Minutes20151116
From KGB Wiki
OFFICER REPORTS
Mike
had a weekend
oSTEM! Don't invite the straight guy to give the keynote at a queer conference
Skye
had a weekend
probably did something my computer is terrible
Dillon
had a weekend
panicked about ctfws and then didn't panic about ctfws
EVENT
GBGC
7:00 friday PH A18*
come watch exec be exhausted
Erin
had a weekend
computer very sad
Zora
had a weekend
it was Nice
saturday went to the matteress factory and got sucked into The Orb
then kicked a puzzle room's ass
then got hot pot
then fell asleep
sunday worked for 12 hours straight on NOT HOMEWORK (yikes)
then crushed another puzzle room
and today they LAUNCHED THE PDF OF DATES
(can you tell i wrote this ahead of time)
Joe
had a weekend
discovered a thing:
if you try to teach people category theory at an r7 party,
someone WILL bring up haskel's monads, and then you'll be lost
(haskel's gonads)
also, tim parenti is our sober savior
puns!
Murphy
had a weekend
started with ctfws
where he drove himself so physically hard that he thought he was delirious
then r7
afterwards, he wandered home while mildly drunk and started listening to a mountain goats album
and he was REALLY DIGGING the mountain goats
so he just. walked around oakland for four miles (while livetexting frieder)
he also wasn't wearing his glasses
didn't matter, he was kind of drunk
he creepertexted people when he passed their houses
then around 5 he swung by buggy
and went home
and went to sleep
OLD BUSINESS
the Thing!
failure to get into courses or software failure is not ed's fault this week
COMMITTEE REPORTS
swear of the week
BUGLETAINT
ad hoc registration committee
don't be drew
(craig was drew)
mike needed to register, so they went into a cluster
and then another guy walked in and was like "i teach a class in here"
and mike DID NOT LEAVE
mildly disgruntled committee
why are there no outlets in here
committee to not burn down r7
continued lack of failure
murphy's class committee
(who even knows what this was actually called)
there WERE three
now there are two
ship jokes
more like the nina, the pinta, and the uncontrolled racist colonialism
booth!
meetings are 1:30 on sunday in PH A18B!
back to OFFICER REPORTS
skye
new people
jack, cs, boise, plays tf2
NEW BUSINESS
motion to the left
dilatory
assaassins: to come up with increasingly silly variants for the game of assassins
aepi is doing it with ducks
the donner house assassins game is still going
ravelry has smth called sock assassins
you knit socks to send to people
if you get socks, you mail your unfinished ones
something something wearing ducks?
variant of assassins where you get a target and you have to KILL them
PASSES
$5 to frieder, frieder will chair
committee for the ed of intl grad students about the fence: that's not how the fence works, grad students
a polish guy came and hung out with KGB for a while
not tim's polish guy
craig's group once took a rando hostage when he mentioned he wanted to paint the fence
they made him help them finish
mackie straight REFUSED some international grad students
when skye and co took the fence for booth last feb, it was FROZEN
some grad students wandered over and POURED something on it, so it was MORE FROZEN
indirection and misdirection committee approves
this last week when kgb painted the fence, the donner people would not let up
ed and skye bureaucracied those suckers
but they came BACK when joe was sleeping in the tent
(and did not succeed)
if they had ever gotten to mike, mikes response would have been
"sorry, we don't give up the fence"
(ever)
the donner folk are bad at debate
important to note: if you paint the fence at midnight on a thursday and think people wn't snipe it, you are wrong
scotch and soda WILL
they are angry, tired, and have unlimited paint
allies continues to have a ridiculous chain of grad students
PASSES
$1 to murphy, anyone but frieder will chair
committee that fails for lack of second: reverse psychology works on the kgb
motion to table for 27 hours
PASSES
tabled
peer reviewed friendship: to finally believe you have a friend who lists you as such in their thesis
it's to establish friendship based on peer reviewed publications
this is gonna make elementary school fights much more interesting
urdish numbers are just gonna become even more of a satus symbol than they already are
PASSES
$1 to glenn, anyone who has actually verified personal relationships based on peer reviewed publications
eternal skrillex: joe has had one song playing in his head forever
soooolidarity forever soooolidarity forever
joe beatboxes
change name to "eternal smashmouth"
passes
change purpose to "making a new neil c album that's just smashmouth and skrillex"
fails
change purpose to "making a mashup of the wii shop music and skrillex"
passes
change purpose to "making a mashup of the smashmouth, wii shop music and smashmouth"
passes
PASSES
$1 to Frieder, disbanded (skrillex doesn't exist)
perfectly normal uncle: sqiduncle, definitely just a normal uncle
it's an octodad joke
change name to "the uncle parable: wow i get to follow an uncle around all day"
passes
on the topic of octodad
hatoful boyfriend has an official kickstarter
they're selling birds???? what
we should put pigeons in the booth
ed just got a phone call and crawled out the window
passes
$1 to craig, anyone who's actually an animal in disguise
motion to educate the chair about who's on the executive board
fails
motion to erase the hard drive
dilatory
detective heart of kbg: fug
change fug to bugmars
PASSES
change purpose to slamzone
PASSES
motion to. what.
dilatory
oh it was the plot
IT'S GONE NOW
chagne all u to bugmars
passes
change all non u to bugmars
passes
joe: "out of order, fuck off"
motion to buy the kgb an apache attack helicopter
out of order
wait weren't we promised attack helicopters by someone's exec speech?
(it may have been mike)
PASSES
$1 to ed, disbanded
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the event
PASSES
tabletop athiesm: fuck you and your eldritch lightening
motion to table for one hour
PASSES
tabled
replace the chair with someone who'll buy the kgb an attack helicopter
dilatory
skyes service for political favors: skye has ten political favors. what do you want
can we ask for more political favors
no
can we ask for an apache attack helicopter
of COURSE
motion to redact "political"
passes
change redacted to "bigger blacker bar"
passes
change skye to "black bar"
passes
change favors to "biggest blackest bar"
passes
PASSES
$13 to ed; ed, erin, skye, tim, and the CAH makers
ed and frieder learn how to count: who want it
frieder does
PASSES
$4 to frieder, frieder and murphy will chair
general chaos: just all around chaos
isn't this made redundant by the committee as a whol
change purpose to "which one am i"
passes
an action: dillon swings the table
the chair has not been detabled
motion to retable the chair
so moved
motion to replace the chair with many many tables
motion to record the laughtrack of the kgb lauhging
so we can use it instead of actually laughing
motion to rename frieder murphy and murphy frieder
out of order
motion to make a standing rule that the pronunciation of "murphy" is "frieder"
out of order
change purpose to "to make a standing order that the pronunciation of "murphy" is "frieder""
passes
motion to gtfo before we all make staning rules we regret
out of order but like. wise.
PASSES
$5 to murphy, frieder will chair
motion to make the pronunciation of murphy frieder and frieder murphy
PASSES
good thing we just say their names and don't actually pronounce the words their names are
motion to make all standing rules made at this meeting sit down
PASSES
motion to spoontinudigu
YEEEEAH
motion to create a standing rule that everyone in the kgb has the same name
the committee to rename everyone in the kgb "reese" approves
motion to make this a committee
done??
motion to make this committee a member of the KGB
passes
MOTION to make the purpose of this committee "name everyone worms"
fails
motion to make a purpose for this committee
what will be it's purpose
just an underscore
motion to name all michaels dillon and all dillons michael
FAILS
misap j bonaparte committee approves
motion to delete name but leave purpose
dilatory
bc mike felt like it
motion to change whatever the fuck we're in to the "fuck it, we'll do it live" committee
PASSES
PASSES
$10 to ed, ab tech will chair
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT
GBGC
7:00, Friday, PH A18*
bring your cards & your boreds
shirts
order form is out
it is DUE this tuesday at 7pm
if you haven't filled it out, fill it out!
cmukgb.org/shirts
comepartywiththe.party/ordershirts
SCHMUCKS
light up night
there's a party downtown
go with skye?
brunch
brunch is fun with erin
schatz at 10:30 on sunday
thanksgiving thing in rangos today
follow mari
itr
this weekend!
like ctfws but less. less everything
still really fun
10pm saturday wean 4
baking
nick will sell things by slice and tiny bag of cookies
there's a website! talk to nick
nickspastriesandcakes.weebly.com
we are now in purple
